DAILY HYUNJIN GIFS UNTIL HIS BDAY: love you and all your little things - glazed donut

you know, i can handle a little bit of fun "Nandor is dumb" talk, but i have a net-zero tolerance for any implication that Nandor is not educated.

Nandor would have been incredibly educated in his lifetime.

even (or especially) as a soldier in the Islamic World. being a soldier was more like getting sent to boarding school that's also a military camp. they weren't just concerned with creating loyal fodder for war. they were building the next government officials, generals, accountants, advisors, etc. it was important that young men knew how to read, write, speak multiple languages, learn philosophy...sometimes even studying art and music was mandatory.

if he was nobility (and its most likely he was), take all that shit and multiply it exponentially. Nandor would have been reading Plato at the same age most people are still potty training. he would have been specifically groomed in such a way to not be just a brilliant strategist and warrior, but also diplomate and ambassador of literally the center of scientific and cultural excellence of the age.

so like yeah, he can be a big dummy sometimes, sure. but that bitch is probably more educated than any of us will ever be.

Intellectually I understand where people are coming from, but personally I do THE biggest double take every time someone boils down conservative Christian ideology (and/or secularized cultural reflections thereof) to a kind of dour puritanism that proclaims happiness is sin/suffering is a moral good/everyone should be miserable all the time. Like I get it! I do. But also, institutionally, I have never met a group of more passionate worshippers and vicious defenders of their own comfort than evangelical Christians. There is a reason the common thread between my various weird triggers more or less boils down to "toxic positivity." There is a REASON my exvangelical tag is #walking away from omelas.

actually third base is saying the rosary in your partner's room while they shower

There is no one, unified, singular kind of "paganism" and there is no "Pagan Law" or "Pagan Bible". Just in case we need the reminder without a long essay in the history of the term "paganism".

Donna Tartt “The Spirit and Writing in a Secular World” in The Novel, Spirituality and Modern Culture

the thing they don't tell you about being raised in a high-demand religion is that everyone who you grew up with at some point will either have a faithbreak or they will continue to stay. and both of those are kind of the hardest thing ever to watch someone you cared about go through.

day 16 + 17: angel + demon

but who is the angel and who is the demon?

finally a chance to reveal to the world how much i love trigun stampede i Need to pick up the old anime later i love these brothers

you think i can't keep talking about karl and esther you are so wrong btw episode four timestamp 34:40 he hesitates before rubbing her back, comforting her the way a parent or guardian might. the whole tube scene is karl finally deciding he has to do this ("i'm here, and i'm not going anywhere, i promise") he still HESITATES because he knows he's probably not the right man for the job. he's the man that got her stuck in this problem in the first place. but they've only got each other and he has to try. does it hurt that the moment he finally builds this resolve and determination to leave it all behind and to actually fight for something that matters to him and admit that, even though he hasn't known her for long, he cares about this girl like she's family, esther is murdered and it totally consumes him? does it hurt that he's then framed for her death even though he just spent the last 24 hours killing and taking revenge in her name? not only because he knows he's a dead man, but also because he's out of options to do something that matters, and what else can he do with his grief other than inflict it onto others? yeah it hurts a lot actually

regardless of whose name it is it drives me fucking insane that the tattoo exists. izzy with his whipping scars and his carefully buttoned demeanor and all of his soft, bleeding places he keeps hidden away from the world. all of the love and devotion that he keeps solely to himself. izzy hands is the one character in this show most consumed by love.

i really hate how discussions about modesty culture, especially ones mandated by religion, are immediately shut down by the liberal/choice feminist crowd

everytime someone brings up a legitimate criticism of how a non-western religion make women follow the most ridiculous rules and strict dress codes and they would come in the discussion like "so women cant be modest now? must all women show skin? what about the women that CHOOSE to follow these rules?"

first of all, no. women can be modest. when most feminists criticize modesty culture, it's not just the way the woman dresses, it's about how a woman is controlled. most victims of modesty culture are controlled--mainly by men and those in positions of power--to not only dress a certain way, but to act a certain way.

second of all, some women have chose to embrace modesty culture--and? what about the women in these countried fighting against it with every fiber of their being? what about the women and girls forced to partake in it or be killed by their own familes or even own governments? are their experiences not valid enough simply because a few women decided to welcome their subjugation in open arms?

are you seriously going to say we are not allowed to criticize religions other than Christianity that partakes in treating women like this? I know you want to be seen as progressive, but I don't think it's progressive to defend the suffering of women just because the ones upholding the rules are from non-western belief systems.

As someone who enjoys religion blogging/discussions, I've come to realize that it's a good practice to be aware of the general signs/symptoms of religious-OCD thinking (aka scrupulosity), because if the conversation is taking on all the hallmarks of scrupulosity, it's actually a definitive sign that we cannot meaningfully and compassionately engage in a conversation about religion in a healthy way. I've actually had this play out a significant number of times online, and when I realized what it was, I also began to realize that the intrusive thoughts/obsessive and compulsive thinking are only ever fed by continuing the discussion with that person.

[[ Important edit to clarify why I am saying it's not healthy — made after I went back to look for more concrete facts about OCD or anxiety (I have GAD, not OCD, but many resources overlap since they're both anxiety disorders):

When Reassurance is Harmful — this explains how/why reassurance-seeking specifically about an OCD fear is a compulsive behavior, and engaging with reassurance-seeking interferes with recovery/management/treatment.

This table from the Anxiety Disorders Center lists key differences between Information Seeking and Reassurance Seeking.

This IOCDF page on Scrupulosity info for Faith Leaders identifies "symptom accommodation" as enabling. Two of the examples of doing this by participating in the OCD behavior are: "Engage in excessive conversation focused on if-then scenarios (e.g., "If I did this, then would X or Y happen? And what if Z was involved? How about W?")" And, "Repeatedly answering questions about ‘correct’ religious or faith practices."

That page also goes on to outline more info about reassurance seeking. "Although providing answers to (often simple!) questions may seem harmless, providing reassurance serves to maintain the anxiety disorder cycle." (This BMC psychiatry article cites a lot of related studies establishing this.)

The IOCDF page on What is OCD and Scrupulosity? ]]

Imo, the responsible thing to do is to recognize that (even if the other person hasn't outright stated it/isn't diagnosed)* the conversation is not about religion, it is about needing mental health support from professionals and experts. Talking to me, the layperson who enjoys chatting theology and my religion — is not only not helping, but is actively harmful. I'm not just talking about the person who I replied to today, either. Like I've said, I've seen this happen dozens of times in various online forums.

*[while I am against diagnosing strangers on the internet, it's important to realize A) lots of people don't know what Scrupulosity is, so it's possible they've never considered this is a mental health concern that could be treated, and that B) for the purposes of my concern, it doesn't matter if they actually have diagnosed OCD. The only thing that matters is that their thought-process causes them genuine distress/fear, and every response given to them seems to only incite new/additional distressing questions/thoughts, or further entrenches the original distress.]

Ultimately, any discussion aside from "you might want to speak to a mental health professional about scrupulosity OCD" seemingly puts me in the position of feeling as if I am being used for their self-harm. I hate that feeling. I do not want to be leverage for fear and pain. I have GAD, I despise the idea that I am making things worse.

No matter how much I love religious discussion, the answer in these cases is always "please reach out to an OCD specialist/mental health professional. I am not qualified to discuss this." And then to stop there. I have never once seen anyone stuck in this compulsive thought spiral be reassured or feel any better by hearing from someone else's approach to theology handled with things like empathy, compassion, logic, or even atheism. It doesn't matter what we say, how we say it, or how we relate to our own religion. The urge to engage in this kind of conversation in order to chat about religion is a sign that we are not equipped to help.

You can't have a conversation here, because intentionally or not, ten times out of ten, you are adding fuel to the fire. Just like people can't simply tell me something that would erase/talk me out of my ADHD/depression/anxiety disorder, you also cannot simply argue/reassure/persuade people out of scrupulosity. We should not try. We have a responsibility to consider that it's outright harmful to do so, and to disengage.

new TSATS prediction based entirely off the interview from the UK Rick Riordan newsletter

"you wouldn't last an hour in the asylum where they raised me" feels like something an ex Christian would say to someone who didn't grow up in any kind of religion

Something something Cain and Abel and their tale. How Cain being the eldest and a farmer, while Abel was a shepherd and the youngest. How god favorited Abel’s sacrifice.. How Cain killed his brother because of anger and jealousy and how he was looked down by god. Cain was exiled and the he started a new life. But he couldn’t be a farmer anymore.

Something something Abraham was told to sacrifice his son Isaac. But in some version Abraham sacrifices a ram or lamb instead. Isn’t it weird how animal sacrifice use lamb a lot in stories? How lamb are seen as pure and gentle and trusting. How did Cain and Abraham feel? How did Abe and Isaac feel? Imagine if you were Isaac, going on a hike with your father, building a fire and alter. His father tired to kill him. The only reason you’re alive is because either god said no, or because you’re dad was to scared. Would Isaac still love his father after that? Does he forget it and move on? Does he ever fear his father? Or his father’s love?

Did Abe feel betrayed when his brother killed him? Or did he know? Did Abe’s blood actually curse the soil? Would Abe forever hunt his brother? Did Abe ever wonder what if the roles were reversed?