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thestarsarebrightertonight · 3 days

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oh baby its blue flame // tom riddle x fem reader

"will-o the-wisp, babe oh baby its blue flame!"

playlist : blue flame - lesserafim

summary : tom is cold and closed off , theres something off about him and most people know that. so why are you so drawn to him like a moth to the flame?

ravenclaw reader , use of y/n , tom is nicer, AU he isnt voldemort or evil LMAO

"youre staring again. even a blind man could see youre staring." your best friend cassandera stated blankly , sat next to you in potions and watching you stare dreamily at a very focused tom riddle.

"i cant help it! hes just so handsome and interesting dont you think?" you whispered back , trying not to gain the attention of mindlessly waffling slughorn.

"handsome? 100%. interesting? more like terrifying!" she whispered back.

you rolled your eyes at this , "i dont get why everyone is so scared of him , hes beautiful and polite."

"yeah well the devil was once beautiful too," she mumbled in dissaproval as you gasped dramatically.

"you did not just compare him to the devil!" you gaped in suprise and slight amusement.

"he seemed pretty devilish when he took away house points because we were in the corridors one minute after cerfew!!" she whisper shouted , reliving the anger she felt when a uninterested tom riddle took away 10 points each from us.

"that was kinda mean of him," you nodded in quiet contemplation.

"oh dont act like you were upset- you admired him and said 'yes tom' like a lovesick puppy!" she scoffed.

"its not my fault the darkness of the corridor made his complexion a little more angelic than usual!" you shrugged as you both gigged.

"miss y/l/n , question 4?" slughorn asked , snapping you back into the harsh reality that you were currently meant to be doing potions.

"huh? oh uhh...well....pheonix feather?" you asked timidly as the whole class laughed only to be shushed by slughorn who held a disapproving look.

"maybe you would know the question if you werent so focussed on talking to miss cassandera." he shook his head as you sheepishly apoligised ,"mr riddle do you have a question?"

you eyes shot to tom who had his hand up , awaiting slughorns attention.

"amortentia," he stated simply as slughorn nodded , stating he was correct. you watched tom for a second longer , startled when his eyes looked at you , a visible smirk on his lips.

you widened your eyes in suprise and looked away quickly , startled and nervous.

"please tell me you saw that." you said sternly , staring forward at nothing as cassandera who did the same nodded with an equally shocked face.

"he smirked." she stated as you nodded.

"and it was hot."

---

later that day you sat on a stone bench , reading with cassandera beside you doing the same thing, until you were interrupted by a shadow blocking the sun that shone on you just seconds before.

groaning in frustration you look up to see who had blocked your light , completely paralysed in shock to see tom riddle looking down at you.

"i thought ravenclaws were smart. however you dont seem to even have the capacity of focusing in lesson." he said so coldy you felt a chill run down your spine.

"what? i...i just got distracted." you stuttered , flustered by his presence and rudeness.

"by me." he stated simply making a bright blush heat up your cheeks , "youd be suprised how easy it is to hear someone sat two rows behind you in a relitively silent classroom."

your whole body burned in embrassament as cassandera pretended to be interested in the floor , secretly listening to the conversation you had with tom.

"oh merlin i- im so sorry i-" you stuttered , not even wanting to make eye contact.

"your confidence was endearing." he again said so blankly , "itd be a shame if i found you in the corridor after cerfew tonight, no? id have to deduct points no doubt."

you were shocked by his flirting? what in the world is happening.

"yeah itd be a shame, i do have a lot of homework to catch up with at the library , i worry it could run over cerfew," you finally looked back up and regained your lost confidence.

he looked down , a faint smirk on his face , "funny thing i cover the librarys corridor. see you then."

he then walked away again , leaving the courtyard and disappearing into the crowds , leaving you to gape after the ghost of his presence.

"i never thought that man would be capable of flirting. never." cassandera muttered in pure shock , both of your jaws on the floor.

"i need to go to the library." you said throwing the book you held and grabbing your satchel in a hurry before walking away.

"hell yeah you do , run bitch!" cassandera happily cheered for you from the bench.

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psuedosugu · 18 hours

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suguru still remembers the moment he realized he fell in love with you.

pt 1

notes: idk how i feel about thisuhhh also im gonna make a discord server so it better not flop 🙏🏾

- well, kind of. since the first day he met you, the day you two went to that boba shop, he had been absolutely captivated by you. your presence was angelic, light and fluffy. there were so, so many moments where you displayed traits that he came to love about you, but one seemed to stick out to him.

the two of you were staying after in class, the building nearly empty besides the two of you, finishing something, something that suguru couldn’t recall (it was far from the most notable thing in that memory, anyways.) eventually you two sidelined into a different conversation. “so, you’ve been here for about…a month?” a month. only a month, but it had felt like so much longer to him. it felt like he had known you his whole life, like you two had somehow been intertwined from the start. “how are you liking it here so far..?” he asked.

you thought it over. “its…different. different than i expected. in a good way, though.” “yeah?” “yeah. its definitely better than back home though.” you paused at that, smile faltering just a bit. “what happened back home?” suguru asked, immediately regretting it after. wasn’t that an invasion of privacy? what if you didn’t wanna share? was he pressuring you? “you don’t have to tell me,” he quickly added.

“no, no, its fine.” you assured him. “my parents were just…” you sigh, “they weren’t really that happy at me being a sorcerer. they actually thought i was possessed up until i was scouted, and they hated me for it, i guess. i think they still do.” suguru looked at you with sympathy in his eyes. “im..im sorry. you don’t deserve that.” you shrugged. “its not like its their fault.” “it is their fault, though.” he said, “no one should hate their child for something they can’t control.” you stayed silent.

“well,” you started, “its not like they knew. they didn’t know anything about sorcery, or curses. that makes them susceptible. at first i was mostly here because i was scared that i would hurt someone on accident with my technique, but now? i want to do something, i want to help people, you know?” suguru thought it over for a bit, and then nodded slowly. “i know what you mean.” you shrug, and maybe that was it for him.

you were so pure and selfless, forgiving, the type of person he wished he was. the rest of the night was a blur to him, as you both returned to your respective dorms, but the thought of you, you, you stuck with him throughout the night.

#jjk #jujutsu kaisen x reader #x reader #jjk x reader #geto suguru x reader #geto jjk #suguru geto #geto suguru #getou suguru x reader

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deanswhiskey · 13 hours

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𝐛𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐡𝐝𝐚𝐲 𝐰𝐢𝐬𝐡 - 𝐬𝐚𝐦 𝐰𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫

⛥ ⛥ ⛥

summary; its sams birthday and his wish comes true

wc; 1,113

warnings; nothing but some kisses

authors note; AAAAHHHHH IM SO SORRY I HAVENT POSTED IN AGES BUT I WANTED TO PUT OUT SOMETHING FOR SAMS BIRTHDAY AND IK ITS LATE BUT OH WELL i promise ill start writing more when i'm done with this semester :))) also this is proofread bc i rushed to put this out apologies for any mistakes

⛥ ⛥ ⛥

the late, late night of may 1st was spent alone in the kitchen. you were so graciously baking your best friend sam a beautiful birthday cake.

since arriving to the bunker and having a ginormous kitchen all to yourselves, you thought it’d be a great idea to start baking and cooking again. being on the road, hunting monsters, you never got the chance to cook or bake. the only cooking you ever did was heating up some frozen dinners for everyone from the store.

not that you minded, sometimes they were good; but nothing, nothing, ever beats a home cooked meal. and to top it all off, homemade dessert.

that’s why when you all settled into the bunker, you went on a big grocery spree and bought almost everything in the store.

the very first meal you cooked was fettuccine alfredo with chicken. something your mother used to make all the time when you were younger and have loved ever since.

when sam and dean walked into the kitchen they couldn’t help but notice the divine aroma.

“‘m my god, what’s that smell,” dean asked searching around for what could be it.

you moved out of the way of the stove to show them a view of the food, “it’s fettuccine alfredo and chicken. it’s almost ready, fo you two wanna set the table?”

they both nodded with enthusiasm, getting plates and forks and knives and set them on the table nearby.

the noodles, sauce, and chicken were finally done and incorporated. you took the pan and a large spoon to scoop it with and headed over to the boys who looked like they were about to start eating from the pan. as soon as the food hit their plates they wasted no time digging in. you chuckled as you watched them almost eat it whole.

that night marked the start of some of the best food sam and dean had eaten.

so now you were baking and decorating the most extravagant looking cake for the man you were secretly in love with.

you don’t know when it happened but something changed and you no longer wanted to just be friends; you wanted more. more than just a quick side hug when celebrating, more than just high fives. you wanted whole, endearing hugs; you wanted to interlink hands and never let go.

the cake you were baking you surly knew sam would like. it’s his favorite cake flavor and a beautiful frosting color. you even added ruffled borders on the top and bottom and near perfect lettering on the top. this cake was made with love.

it was 11:49 pm when you finished and you had flour in your hair, frosting on your shirt, and excess batter on the counter. the cake was put in the fridge to chill over night and the kitchen was finally cleaned 10 minutes later. you quickly showered before hopping into bed with a small smile on your face knowing your best friend would be so happy with everything.

morning came and you and dean had to be the first ones up to set out everything. dean went out to buy balloons (that you and dean so tiresomely blew up) and banners to hand from the walls. he also set out the few presents the two of you bought, even after sam said he didn’t want anything (you both knew you were gonna buy him something anyways), and you set out the cake with the candles, lighting the fee of them up.

sam walked into the kitchen rubbing his eyes. “HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!” he jumped at the two of you screaming.

after his scare went away, his eyes lit up like a child at their very own birthday. he rushed over to you thanking the both of you for doing this. he glanced at the cake, “did you make this?”

“with love,” you nodded.

“make a wish, brother,” dean patted his back. sam closed his eyes thinking, he knew exactly what we was going to wish for. he bent down slightly and blew out the candles. you didn’t bother with making breakfast because you knew cake for breakfast would excite anyone.

sam was very giddy to open up his presents. he was ever so thankful for the few new flannels, nice watch, and a new belt you guys gave him.

the three of you sat in the movie room and watched a bunch of old movies. sam has grown very fond of old films. he likes western ones the most.

it was getting late and dean decided that he’d had enough of movies and was feeling sleepy.

now it was just you and sam, on the couch, in the movie room, alone.

the movie was at a slow part, just the main two characters talking in an old western barn.

“did you have a good day?” you turned to sam.

he looks over at you, he loves that smile on your face. “i had probably one of the best days ever. that cake? phenomenal, probably the best thing you’ve baked.”

you blushed and looked down. after a moment of silence you looked up again, sam still looking at you, “what’d you wish for?”

“i cant tell you that,” he chuckled.

“c’mon,” you dragged out.

“no, i can’t!”

“please, for me” queue the big puppy dog eyes.

how could he resist those eyes? “fine, but you can’t get upset.”

why would you get upset?

sams heart is racing. “i wished for you.”

“me?”

“mhm, you.”

“wh- i- why me?”

“because you’re all i’ve ever wanted.”

you were speechless. “sam, i-”

“you don’t have to say anything, it’s okay.”

the saddened look on his face broke you’re heart. “listen to me sam,” you started to smile. “i feel the same way. i mean it when i said that cake was made with love.”

a smile grew on his face. “can i kiss you now?”

it felt like you couldn’t breathe, “yeah,” it came out as a whisper.

sam gently cupped one side of your face as he drew in closer. his lips brushed yours before he fully smashed his lips to yours.

you’ve dreamed on this moment for a while. it was more than you could’ve ever imagined. his lips were soft. he tasted slightly of whiskey that the three of you sipped on earlier and it was perfect.

“my birthday wish finally came true,” sam says just above a whisper.

“good, i’m glad.” you smiled.

the two of you fell asleep on the couch with the old western movie quietly playing in the background. both you and sam fell asleep with a smile on your face in each others arms.

⛥ ⛥ ⛥

#spn #supernatural #supernatural fanfiction #supernatural fic #supernatural fluff #sam winchester x reader #supernatural imagine #sam winchester fluff #sam winchester fic #sam winchester fanfiction #sam winchester

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ww2yaoi · 3 days

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THIS IS LONG AS FUCK LMAO IM SO SORRY IN ADVANCE I REALLY JUST STARTED YAPPING but i saw your post abt mota characters being underdeveloped compared to other hbo war shows and had some Thoughts

this is something i’ve heard mentioned on a couple reviews from historian guys on youtube and podcasts etc. i’m honestly not sure how much of it is intentional and how much of it is a result of weird pacing and writing decisions made due to budget cuts or episode numbers being reduced or whatever but it is something i thought was interesting:

basically the way the show treats its characters is kinda reflective of the way the air war itself was for the men involved: at first you’d would arrive on base and make close friends and develop rapport with each other a la buck bucky curt croz etc. but then the attrition sets in - someone like curt dies, more and more crews disappear, and on base it’s like they never existed. you get jaded. it becomes harder to get close to the new guys because you know they’re more than likely gonna be dead after the next mission, or you will be, and they’ll have to deal with losing you. this is kinda reflected in the scene after buck n bucky meet rosie. ‘when we go down they won’t remember us either’ etc.

the show kinda does this with the characters it introduces. u meet the main guys in the beginning and get sort of familiar with them, enough to be attached, and then curt fucking dies. if you aren’t well versed in the real history (like i wasn’t) then you have no damn idea who’s surviving to the end, and that makes you approach the remaining leads a little differently. when buck goes down you don’t really know if you’ll see him again. ‘they wouldn’t kill him it’s austin butler’ but they killed barry keoghan already soooo maybe they will? maybe bucky is the main lead now? it’s hard to know who’s safe to stay invested in.

and then obviously we follow bucky through his little romp through germany and then the stalag, (which is tense as fuck because WE DONT KNOW IF HES SAFE NARRATIVELY SPEAKING) but when it switches back to base there’s no mention of him or buck after the initial loss. like they never existed. we get rosie and croz, and a bunch of brand new crews who we mostly don’t recognize and who blend together so easily we have no idea if they survive or not because we don’t care and neither does the show. there is not space to care (diagetically if youre a pilot because you stop putting effort in to get acquainted w them just to lose someone again, and irl because the show stops putting effort in to distinguish them from each other).

guys we even sort of recognize or give a fuck about like nash die immediately. or (this one is kinda a stretch bc obviously their storyline getting forgotten about probably isn’t intentional but) with quinn and bailey when their plot gets dropped you can look at it like the guys on base who cared about them have also died or been shot down, so they’re no longer important to follow. and when buck returns to base in 9 who greets him? croz and rosie. almost nobody else who remembers him is still around. they either died or went to the stalag with him, or to other ones like it.

the show essentially ends up mirroring its characters: starting out with the promise of brotherhood and wartime camaraderie and friendship etc etc and then having it UTTERLY SHATTERED by the realities of the kind of war they are fighting.

it’s honestly fascinating to me. i’ve very rarely experienced a show with a supposedly ensemble cast at the start where the ensemble aspect kind of just gets destroyed and the characters are all killed or permanently split up partway through.

yeah that’s interesting and you have good points. I wasn’t really talking about their bonds with each other though, more so their individual character arcs and personality traits that were often shallow or not fleshed out entirely. I understand not having much of a supporting cast because these men were so expendable, but there were characters like macon and alex etc. who could’ve been given more to do. people have even argued (I don’t know if I entirely agree) that buck and bucky had shallow characterization as well. I think it’s good that you can find that kind of meaning in the show but I don’t think the show does that great of a job at hitting home these points and kind of just arrives there incidentally

then there’s the question of why even adapt this material if it’s not very well suited for a narrative story in the first place. and people can argue about that I’m not gonna touch it lol

but I see your point. I just don’t think the show was that intentional about the way it handled its character arcs. it feels more like things just falling by the wayside than intentional thematic choices

#ask #skyphloxx

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robinmage · 3 months

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It's curious to me, how the general consensus among others when it comes to Chise's curses are "bad; we need to get rid of it (we just don't know how.)" Which, considering they are both curses made of pain and suffering, makes sense why someone wouldn't want to keep those around.

We (the audience) know vaguely how the curses interact with each other. The dragon's curse: made from strong emotions of anger and despair, provides Chise with her strength and durability against both magical and physical elements, at the cost of her own strength one day tearing herself apart. Cartaphilus' curse prevents her from dying, but offers no protection against injury or decay. Together they "keep each other in check"-- Cartaphilus will keep her alive, the dragon will keep her strong.

A lot of things have happened in the past arc that make it easy to forget the fundamentals of the first season. When the series started, Chise was a few steps away from walking off a roof. Even after she arrived in England, it took a long time before she decided that maybe life wasn't so bad. Her entire life up until that point had been nothing but misery; abandoned and alone, she had no one to protect her from the constant targeting and harassment by both fae and humans alike. She believed that the only way to escape her torment was through death... I think its a facet of her character that goes unfairly unrecognized a lot (especially after the first arc).

When she's in England and is going through her mental/psychological character development, she is still facing the imminent threat of her weak sleigh beggey body constantly failing her. Using magic exacerbates her condition, causing her to be sick and/or incapacitated for significant stretches of time. It's painful, it's uncomfortable, it's frustrating. By the time she realizes she wants to live, her clock is already running quite short.

Her solution is handed to her on a rusted platter. To be "just like everyone else", for once. Finally.

Going to school, hanging out with friends, using magic without it killing her-- all things shes never been able to do before. All thanks to the curses trapped in her. These things that should be considered a horribly tragic fate have now become her salvation. Both physically and mentally, she's the strongest and most resilient she's ever been. Yet, when faced with the idea of liberating herself from her curses...

The curses only work the way they do because they're in sync with each other. Taking away either curse would leave her vulnerable to the other-- the dragon's curse would slowly overwhelm her into a brutally agonizing death, while Cartaphilus' curse would leave her to live and suffer through the constant breaking down of her sleigh beggey body.

When told about the reality of her curses and just how severe they are (not just to her, but to the people around her), she doesn't seem to completely understand what that may mean for herself and her future. Or perhaps, she just doesn't care. After a life where pain and suffering was her "normal", she finally has the means to create something meaningful and positive out of herself. How could that possibly be a bad thing?

She understands on some level that these curses were only ever meant to be temporary. Elias' original goal, to keep Chise alive in spite of her sleigh beggey curse, has not changed. Tacking on two more curses was not a part of the plan, and though they've offered a temporary solution and some time, curses are called curses for a reason. They cannot be relied upon. They've got to go.

But getting rid of those curses (both, or either) essentially puts her back at square one. Back to the pain, discomfort, and illness. She probably won't be able to use magic without hurting herself, too. She's gained freedom in both mind and body for the first time in her life. Sure, she encounters a few hiccups, but considering what she's used to, this is a big step up.

Something has finally given her the power and freedom to spread her wings and fly. Would she be able to clip her own feathers just because that power is "supposed" to be "bad"?

Could she? Could you?

Through it all, everyone she's come across has appointed her curses as a problem. Everyone, except...

#i just find it inchresting. i like this guy i think hes cool but i also think his student is a sociopath #<- things that can also be said about elias and chise i suppose #i just KNOW elias is kicking himself for not knowing the existence of this mage when his student was on deaths door last season #sorry this turned out a lot longer than i thought it would #mahoyome essay writers anonymous lets goooooooooo #tamb #the ancient magus bride #mahoutsukai no yome #mahoyome #chise hatori #im not tagging spoilers anymore go read it whores its FREE !!!!!

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haunted-farts · 1 year

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Some doodles I made awhile ago.

#South Park #Stenny #Southpark Stenny #Stan southpark #Kenny Southpark #my attempt at the southpark art style took longer than i originally thought it would. i still think it needs work but im happy with it.#sorry im a cringe artist

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sorrelpaws · 2 years

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aallrright here's some of those requests B)

#rick and morty #rick sanchez #morty smith #prime rick #umm sorry this took me longer than i thought it would because to be honest #as soon as i made the og post asking for reqs i discovered this wc fangame called glangen and it like idk it did somethig to me #clan* idk why i put a g there #im insane in the membrane over it it is genuinely so addictive

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acetone4veins · 1 month

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Quotes + Mean Girls

associating angsty quotes (and some fluffy ones) to mean girls characters and dynamics, this is definitely longer than it should be and will probably be part 1 of many but anyways. lmk which were your favorites and which ones ruined you :) also shoutout to the cautionary tale discord who saw some of these already and ramble about these characters with me <3

posting under the cut so i don't clog anyone's feeds

Regina

"what a terrible thing to wound someone you really care for - and to do it so unconsciously."

Haruki Murakami

"and when nobody wakes you up in the morning, and when nobody waits for you at night, and when you can do whatever you want. what do you call it, freedom or loneliness?"

Charles Bukowski

"i am changing. i am trying to be better. it is slow; it is rough; it is repetitive, but i swear i am."

Abdulsamad S. M.

"i did not like to be touched, but it was a strange dislike. i did not like to be touched because i craved it too much. i wanted to be held very tight so i would not break."

Marya Hornbacher

"i was not a loveable child, and i'd grown into a deeply unlovable adult. draw a picture of my soul, and it'd be a scribble with fangs."

Gillian Flynn

"if only my heart were as cold as i pretend it is, maybe i could get over this."

Jessica Katoff

"i wasn't beautiful anymore. now i looked like what i was, a raw wound."

Janet Fitch

"i'm restless and harsh and despairing. although i do have love inside me. i just don't know how to use love. sometimes it tears at my flesh, like barbs."

Clarice Lispector

"i did not mean to be cruel. i swear i am good, i am good, i am kind. i have love inside me. some place far far away."

unknown

Cady

"how much can you change and get away with it, before you turn into someone else, before its some kind of murder?"

Richard Siken

"your worst sin is that you have destroyed and betrayed yourself for nothing."

Dyodor Dosteovsky

"what and how much had i lost by trying to do only what was expected of me instead of what i myself wished to do?"

Ralph Ellison

"my god, my god, whose performance am i watching? how many people am i? who am i? what is this space between myself and myself?"

Fernando Pessoa

"it was good for a while, being empty. i didn't hurt anymore. but as time went on, it was like i could hear myself from far away, begging for permission to come back."

Myra McEntire

"is it better to out-monster the monster or to be quietly devoured?"

Friedrich Nietzsche

"who's the real you? the person who did something awful, or the one who's horrified by the awful thing you did? is one part of you allowed to forgive the other?"

Rebecca Stead

"you're a mess of good intentions gone wrong. you strike a match on yourself to keep others warm, and now the whole goddamn world's on fire. you try to put it out, and you try so hard. the dam breaks, and the waters of your sorrow pour free. you are sorry; so very, very sorrow - and you will drown everyone to prove it."

unknown

Janis

"there are times when i am convinced i am unfit for any human relationship."

Franz Kafka

"i am eternally, devastatingly romantic, and i thought people would see it because 'romantic' doesn't mean 'sugary'. it's dark and tormented - the furor of passion, the despair of an idealism that you cannot attain."

Catherine Breillat

"but whatever came, she had resolved never again to belong to another than herself."

Kate Chopin

"there were two reasons i was scared to let people in; the damage they could do, and the damage they could find."

Chris McGeown

"perhaps its good for one to suffer. can an artist do anything if he's happy? would he ever want to do anything? what is art, after all, but a protest against the horrible inclemency of life?"

Aldous Huxley

Gretchen

"i want so obviously, so desperately to be loved, and to be capable of love."

Sylvia Plath

"she wanted to say 'don't leave me', but she couldn't do it, not again. she was so tired of begging people to love her."

Kristin Hannah

"he is charmingly telling me how much he does not love me...and i, - listening to him carefully, - am approving it."

Marina Tsvetaeva

"she's gonna forever say 'i got this' even with tears in her eyes."

unknown

"still there is this terrible desire to be loved. still, there is this horror at being left behind."

Michael Cunningham

"can you understand me? someone, somewhere, can you understand me a little, love me a little?"

Sylvia Plath

"i am trying to make myself digestible. i am trying to make myself easy to love."

I.B. Vyache

"do you think it is possible that some people are born to give more love than they will ever get back in return?"

Tyler Knott Gregson

Karen

"the sensitive suffer more; but they love more, and dream more."

Augusto Cury

"a lot of people tell me i'm a bit dreamy. but i like the idea of that. of being somewhere else."

Alam

"you cannot make everyone think and feel as deeply as you do. this is your tragedy, because you understand them but they do not understand you."

Daniel Saint

Regina and Janis

"the bear loved the deer, it was obvious. it ripped the deer's throat out, and then licked the dying deer with the most passionate affection. i thought of you and me."

David Cronenberg

"can you hate someone for what they have done, but still love them for whom they had been?"

Jodi Picoult

"love isn't soft, like those poets say. love has teeth which bite and the wounds never close."

Stephen King

"i love you as certain dark things are to be loved, in secret, between the shadow and the soul."

Pablo Neruda

"they will hook me up to a polygraph and ask me if i love you and i will say no but the needle will jump and sputter exactly how you laugh."

unknown

"there's a sickening feeling of familiarity, when the wrong person knows you too well and you know them too well. and they weren't always the wrong person."

unknown

"we don't mean to hurt each other, but we do. and perhaps no matter how right we are for each other, we'll always be a little wrong."

Beau Taplin

Regina and Cady

"i am intense darkness and you are a golden sunrise."

Arijit Singh and Pritam

"even before you touched me, i belonged to you; all you had to do was look at me."

unknown

"whether you come as a lover or an executioner, i am ready to receive you."

Agustin Gomez-Arcos

"for the longest time, i saw myself as a bad person. you don't know how much it meant to me when you looked at me and could see the good."

unknown

"but i have seen the best of you and the worst of you, and i choose both."

Sarah Kay

"i promised myself i would never fall in love with you. but it was 4 am, and we were laughing way too hard, and i felt happy for the first time in a long time, and i knew i was screwed."

unknown

Gretchen and Karen

"i would rather be with you - even the you that you seem to think is diminished - than with anyone else in the world."

Jojo Moyes

"it hurts, he realizes, to love someone who can't love themselves. like watching a work of art set itself on fire."

unknown

"how amazing it is to find someone who wants to hear about all the things that go on in your head."

Nina LaCour

"come love, make me better than i was. come teach me a kinder way to say my own name."

Andrea Gibson

"i wanted you to see a mess and still find me worthy of love, to tell me that you could still love me anyway."

Georges Bataille

"sometimes, love is as simple as watching the moon and sometimes its as difficult as counting the stars. but i love doing both for you."

unknown

Janis and Damian

"you may be born into a family, but you walk into friendships. some you'll discover you should put behind you. others are worth every risk."

Adam Silvera

Regina and Gretchen

"but i am very homesick for arms that have never held me."

unknown

"i burned so long so quiet you must have wondered if i loved you back. i did, i did, i do."

Annelyse Gelman

"so i wait for you like a lonely house till you will see me again and live in me. till then my windows ache."

Pablo Neruda

"how do you tell someone that the reason you're sad is because you love them?"

unknown

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ef-1 · 3 months

Text

girlhood

#i have to fly out to capetown to see mother and im literally debating if i could land in the morning and leave at night on the same day #like. anything longer than that is going to ruin my year.#when she called and did her “katherine. you have to be here on the 10th” i literally sobbed in my bed for the rest of the day 😍😍😍#not dyeing my hair black for a year and its getting lighter and lighter everyday and i look like her again #and my therapist telling me “you need to do things for yourself.” but like can i? sorry that woman traumatised me and i actually cant :)#like everything i do is informed by her #I'm going to go and just like everytime the only way to keep my sanity is to mirror her. talk and sit and speak and read and eat like her #and its such a terrifying experience bc i remember that im capable of emulating her viciousness and maybe i am my mother's daugher 🤢🤢🤢#and im going to come back and its going to take fucking months for me to feel like myself again #“oh you look so beautiful just like your mother” i hope you DIE lol !!! the fact that my conception of beauty was shaped by her #growing up with this cruel beautiful detached woman and realising that at the intersection of beauty and wickness is a lifetime of pain #and still being so desperate for her approval- for any metaphysical proximity to her that i felt elated when #people would tell me i look like her. that it meant i was also beautiful like her and maybe she'll love me a little for it #but now i know for a fact that i do look like her and it makes saliva swell under my tongue - that moment right before you throw up-#when people mention it 😍#last time i was in capetown my optic neuritis flared up (and i know for a fact it was that it was ms-stress related from having to see her)#and i thought i hid it so well even though i had near constant headaches & lethargy until she said “katherine give me the red notebook”#and i knew that she knew all along. it was so acutely humiliating standing there and knowing she knows i cant see which one is the red one #and she tilted her head and said “whats the matter? do you not know what red looks like?”#im never going to have kids. my mother and i read eachother so well it can only mean im never too far removed from becoming her #lol!!!!!!!!!

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trainingdummyrabbit · 12 days

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Hand over the little beasts

on it boss!! o7 this took . fuckig Forever bc i had t doodle everyone since the screencaps i have for them have like 5 pixels Total and would be Incomprehensible so <333 Behold My Beasts!!!

team control team!! they r so silly 2 me :] more abt em under th cut bc uhhhh. yknow.

- Jacob - Snow White's Apple (+Penitence) my first little guy!!! he has a very serious and to-the-point demeanor, and has a very flat inflection on... pretty much everything about himself. he's the one that most embodies his role, for lack of a better term. takes his job very seriously, and intends to do well. his attitude is very dry, but he is very genuine and earnest when it comes down to it in an odd sort of way. he's the type to say something completely off-the-wall entirely stone-faced, and will oftentimes take things said to him in a similar manner. there isnt that much that seems to be able to catch him off guard. if theres something in his way, then he will simply have to overcome it. he'll try anything once. jacob is very intent on keeping things orderly, and will enforce this with his peers if he needs to. bluntly. chaos and a lax attitude are the catalysts to things going wrong, so its as simple as minimizing the chances for this to occur. simple. despite his nagging with the rest of the team, he means no sharpness by it-- he's direct (and maybe a bit... heavy-handed,) but he simply talks to others the way he would address himself, and sees nothing wrong with it. (unfortunately, this makes him come across as rude more often than he'd like... not that hes usually aware.) because of his unexpressive exterior, its oftentimes very difficult to get a grasp on how he thinks or feels about things-- especially since he himself seems to pay it very little heed, even when he Maybe Probably Should. one of the ones most likely to work himself to death without realizing it. hes doing his best ok.

- John - Sound of a Star (+Wingbeat, Hornet) very lax and lackadaisical-- hes insistent on doing what he needs to and very little else. in fact, he makes a very big show of it; always taking his sweet time, not really showing concern for much of anything, even when things are, as they say, Kind Of Really Bad. (Jacob tends to need to prod him along more often than not.) despite this, john is actually one of the more reliable agents of the facility-- always getting things done thoroughly and efficiently with very little instance of error. truthfully, he's actually very prideful in the work that he does, and quite enjoys showing off his skills when he gets the chance. infuriatingly, he tends to respond to questioning of his abilities with a flippant "im just that good." and well... its honestly what he believes. truthfully, he has a complete aversion to genuineness of any kind-- responding to questions with snarky remarks or quips, complaining about assignments, cracking jokes in the face of catastrophe. its... honestly more of a nervous habit than an active choice. in his eyes, if he cant do anything about an issue, theres simply no reason to worry about it. and so he coasts along, completely unruffled on the surface. at first, he didnt really see what the big deal was about the facility. everyone always spoke like it was a death sentence-- but it was just kind of poking some creature or another and leaving a few times a day and that was it. so he let his attitude reflect that. but once things started climbing, he began to slowly understand just how out of his depth he was; and his demeanor... didnt change. why should it? why bother? confidence was half the battle anyway, no point in showing your weakness. honestly, he has no idea what hes doing and simply acts the part-- it just hasnt burned him yet. (not to mention, with how serious the rest of his team was... well, they could use the encouragement.) and well, if it works... who cares about what lies underneath, right? no big deal. just get good.

- Jose - Lament (+Lament) the asiyah layer's special errand boy. for a good while, he was the team's most skilled employee-- always taking care of things cross-department due to being the only one who could really cover that role. watching newbies, working with new abnos, tackling faraway ordeals... that was all on him. and he didnt mind at first, really-- he enjoyed doing good work, being relied on by his peers... but um, well, he'd love maybe a little break, once or twice, thats all... but there's always more work to do, so... he was the first to work with fotb-- certainly not the last, but definitely the most Common. he also happened to be the most Receptive to it. already he was pretty high-strung from the pressure of his responsibilities, but... it was safe to say things reached an entirely new level after that. he wasnt used to abnormalities being so reasonable, for lack of a better term, nor to be able to just... have a conversation, like that. maybe he was listening just a bit too genuinely. they dont want anyone to die. they really dont want anyone to die. but theres nothing really they can do. just keep running! just keep your head up! if anything else, just stay alive! but at this point, death really isnt the worst thing that could happen to them in a place like this. truly, the worst has already happened. there's no escaping the facility, after all. but what could he do about that? so he repeats like a mantra; just dont die. just dont die. please just dont die. he wants to do good so fucking bad. so much is on his shoulders, and he Has to carry it. its practically compulsive. he has to do it because nobody else can. nobody else should Have to. and so he fusses over just about everyone, completely unable to speak of Why it is he's suddenly so skittish-- especially because of just how busy his responsibilities keep him. he just cant stop. theres no time. every second wasted is another chance something could happen. not once, though, did he really worry about himself. the contrast was stark-- constantly running himself ragged for the sake of others, yet paying no heed to his own safety. all that mattered was carrying out his tasks... which made things difficult as the stakes kept rising, but his own capabilities did not. the people he worried about were suddenly able to do things he couldnt even imagine-- and he was struggling paces behind them. he pretends not to notice how much more of his time is spent waiting. its... how do you deal with worrying about those facing trials far beyond anything you know, and you yourself are fully unable to reach them? it was best not to worry about it. ...he was never much good at that, was he?

- Mabel - Mimicry (+Noise, Mimicry, Our Galaxy) hes just some guy. like... he just works here. kinda stands out like a sore thumb, honestly, because of how strikingly... normal he was. a little awkward but well-meaning, prone to wandering (and slacking off...) he mostly just took care of smaller tasks and issues for a while-- coming in so late comparatively, he fell pretty far behind, pretty much just working on zayin level abnormalities well past day 20 or so. more often than not, he was the only one in the control team's main room while everyone else took care of pressing tasks cross-facility, only getting to share a word or two of pleasantries before they had to run off again. he knew the work was important, but... well, everyone always looked so sullen. he could never really understand why-- and whenever he brought it up, it seemed to just sour the mood... after a while, he just stopped trying. things suddenly changed, though, when the facility got its first aleph: nothing there. and somehow, he was decided to be most fit to work with it. it was strange, to say the least, mostly taking care of things that barely seemed to acknowledge his presence and then suddenly... that. hed be lying if he said he wasnt afraid, but this was his job, and he was trusted with it. so obviously that meant they knew he could do it, right? right. things switched around very quickly. he wanted to say it wasnt a bad thing, but... it was weird, is all. going from some nobody standing alone and aimless to... tackling things that shouldnt exist, killing things with power he isnt sure is really his. a lot of things were suddenly like that, honestly. he. suddenly feels like he has to be on his best behavior. um. is this thing on? manager are you seeing this? he gets a lot quieter after that. as it turns out, hes very harsh when he doesnt mean to be. hes honest, but sometimes that honesty could hurt. hes a bit intense… everyone else was, so it kinda rubbed off on him. hes compensating for his own lack of interest in bloodshed. he wants to be respected, but it just ends up scaring people. he isnt quite sure how to stand up for himself now. he just does what hes ordered bc hes never had a choice before, so why now? he needs to figure out who he is again– the ego did quite a number on him. he kinda fucks up on interactions way more than he thinks he used to. he keeps himself small and quiet so he doesnt accidentally trample over anyone. (he doesnt like the strange looks the clerks give him now. he doesnt exactly Like his ego gear or what it does to his brain, but it keeps him safe, so... hes here to help, remember? don't be scared...) honestly, he does really yearn for kindness and gentleness. its just… hard to admit. especially to people he still subtly thinks are above him. hes not stupid. he knows abandonment when he sees it. he cant really blame them for it, but… it still hurt, yknow? he wasnt Supposed to be anything, which was insulting, but now that he Is everyone treats him so differently, and somehow thats even More insulting. hes more than just a machine yknow… but, well, if that's his job, then. whatever.

theyre basically just.... a bunch of randos who are all trying their best, got disillusioned and distant, then suddenly clung together after realizing just how fucked everything was all of a sudden. theyre all overwhelmed, but theyll be damned if they dont look out for each other. jose was team captain first, but after some shuffling, the title fell on jacob. they all seem much happier with this.

they all honestly bounce off of each other really well despite everything-- jacob keeps everyone facing the right direction, quickly and calmly guiding the team. john provides a more lighthearted energy, but also is very skilled at keeping a level head and offering clarity when the others get overwhelmed. jose and mabel both cover for everyone else, but Especially each other after their own respective... trials. despite The Horrors, theyre all honestly keeping each other together very well.

bbbbut thats only four of them right? five to a team and all. well the fifth is um, well. yknow, its. well,

(also heres everyone elses sprites from various places in th playthru bc ilove them :] yay)

#UAUHG once again . longer than i thought id make it. oops #pikocs #pikart #projmoon #long post #unfortunately im gonna have t toss mabel up again bc hes like the only one who can consistently stand up to geb so uhhhhhh sorry !#[purposefully doing smthn that would absolutely fuck them up in character] sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry--#ialso think i might pivot jacob to smile bc it feels right and also Fuck Dude Might As Well Make 4/5 Of Em Alephs; Why Not. Ok.#jose is kinda... hes kinda held back in his own development; which is partially why hes still rockin he level gear #also its just. thats him. yknow. maybe hell grow out of it. not yet though.#anyway. no proofreading we die like [redacted]

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b4kuch1n · 1 year

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pre-holiday leave crumbs

#sk8 the infinity #kyan reki #hasegawa langa #renga #hey. if I give u a bottle labeled wine with somethin else inside. would u drink it #anyways. tomorrow I Travel #The Turbulance evened out alright! so the Traveling could no longer be postponed #three days on da road babeyy (<- shaking and crying)#goin to a market! I'll try to get a new kitchen knife there. will be better than whatever the fucks goin on in our kitchen rn #anyways. post-fic haze has settled in once again I am simply no thought. this will continue for hopefully five hours #until I gotta get up for car time #kinda whittling down the 20yo reki design slowly to get to a point where it feels Correct #20yo langa is already perfect. maybe to nobody but me but I stand the fuck by it #I believe in langa looking like a guy lesbians would hit on by accident in his 20s. I hold myself to it #oh yeah if ur asking. no that was not a cigarette in the first pic. sorry Im a tightass about smoking thats a lollipop #in my head its the pickled mango flavour that alpenliebe already made a hard candy version of here #hard sour candy shell with. chili salt core. it is good (?) but it hurts my stomach (I will not stop eating them)#also if u catch the acc name going outside the panel in the comic. its bc I could NOT leave it at just 'random white girl'#it has to be the full thing I cannot do this fake fictional twitter user like that #literally the only preliminary caution I take for funny comics. nothign else makes sense I dont care. this is necessary however #anyways. it is time for baku to be horizontal and shit. so here we goooo #have a good nite lads! idk what will happen in the next 3 days! will most probably be silent! and then dip pen comms will open again #eat well sleep well! two daysborday until labor day

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skenpiel · 1 year

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@eebie DANCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! the dance is from this video ♪(^∇^*)

#HI EEBIE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!LOL #i made this beccause i was listening to that penis song i sent you and i thought it sounded like a song gobou would use #also i wanted a dancing eeber gif ^___^#keep in mind i ummm. have only animated once before and that was years ago and very very very short #and also it was totally sketchy and stuff. as in it was just a sketch there was no lineart or colors or anything #and also csp apparently dosent let you export transparent animations!?!?!?!? and also it doesnt let you use more than 25 frames!?!?!?!?#its stupid. so i just made a gif on EZGIF.COM instead<333 #which is why the edges look kinda. um. wack. sorry about that but maybe itll go away when this posts? i dunno but i doubt it #btw i think i have eeber poisoning or something. because i draw her all the time everywhere........#ive drawn her so many times in some stupid little sketchbook we have in our kitchen when i wait for stuff in tha microwave #her design is just sooooo. Yeah!!!!!!!!#anyway this took Ummm significantly longer than id hoped and my back hurts sooooobad #so im going to bed!!!!!!!! but anyways here u go babygirkl <333333 #my art #oh and btw i only listened to the penis (eek!) song while drawing this and nothing else #just. the same penis song for hours on end #and i said i was gonna take abreak when i was done with the lines before i started coloring but 😀👍 i forfot #OH WAIY ONE LAST YBING. i got cery noticably lazy like halfway through so dontt look too close at the frames or youu might get scared 😨

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kennysdeadbody · 10 months

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k here it is 👍

#flash warning #maybe idk #its funny seeing how indecisive i am abt kennys pose lol #its v flattering that someone want to see my process ty #it ended up way longer than i thought it would so im sorry for that

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sparatus · 4 months

Note

heyoooo I saw some tags on a post you shared that said something about how the batarian resistance was born, and I'd love to hear your thoughts on a batarian resistance because I also want to do a batarian resistance, but I've been having trouble noodling out what that looks like.

okay attempt two at answering this cause my computer decided to restart itself last time and i got mad and didn't want to retype everything lol

obviously i'm going to start with saying the vast majority of my batarian work is in my no-reapers au exponential differentiation, especially blood in the water where the two deuteragonists working with shepard are second in command of the resistance tarvok shad'derah and his friend and close ally of the resistance gurji taeja, and we're also poised right at the start of the hegemony plotline in in the land of giants and the resistance will be pretty involved in upcoming chapters (and are already there, please come read it i have essays). moving on.

the short answer is... there is no short answer. it's complicated. the hegemony, per canon, is a strict caste-based, totalitarian oligarchy with complete control over every aspect of life underneath them. you can't work with batarians without addressing the hegemony somehow. there's going to be a lot of messy politics, and wildly varying opinions towards the resistance (there's going to be a lot of people who think it's not worth fighting! let them kill themselves off! why are you going to so much effort!), and very heavy topics that need a lot of care to portray sensitively. the hegemony is very clearly based on very real regimes that killed a lot of people and left a lot of lasting damage. a lot of where i started looking at batarians with a sympathetic lens is from talking to a friend of mine who lives in brazil and saw a lot of their own experiences reflected in the batarians, and quite a few other regimes there are still people alive who remember living under them are obvious inspiration for bioware as well (stalinist ussr is the most obvious, but there's definitely aspects of mussolini's italy and north korea as well, to name a few). accordingly, i've been doing my best to approach the topic sensitively; literally the most important thing i can stress with working with batarians is do your research. there's an awful lot of nuance to consider, and boiling it down to basic "good guy rebels vs evil government" does it a serious disservice.

that out of the way, let's get into it after the cut. i'm going to preface this with a disclaimer that a lot of this is my own work and i am not comfortable with others using it without permission. nothing against you personally i just have some bad experiences with people "taking inspiration" from me and literally just lifting my shit whole-cloth without asking me and only crediting me in a separate place away from the actual fic, lol. so anything with specific names or timelines or just anything that's me speculating and not found in canon is not free to use, kthx.

anyway.

in order to write a resistance against the hegemony, you have to start with actually writing the hegemony. yeah i know i know nobody wants to put too much effort into the slaver assholes, but it's important. and we do actually have some canon details about how the hegemony functions, so Reading The Wiki actually a pretty good place to start! based on what (admittedly not a lot) we know about the hegemony, they're a totalitarian oligarchy where the richest rule. you can potentially buy your way to a higher caste if you make enough money, but it's very difficult, and they're incredibly cutthroat. basically, life under the hegemony is very every man for himself.

this is to the upper castes' advantage! aggressive enforcement of the status quo by the higher-ups, using fear and violence as weapons, not only works very well to oppress the lower castes, but it also encourages people to turn on each other and rat each other out. you're unlikely to find a lot of camaraderie among average batarians - if anyone could turn you in to the cops, you're not gonna trust anybody, and that's gonna go a long way to keeping people under the upper castes' thumbs. we can even reasonably infer that family members are encouraged to report on each other - it's happened irl! it's super useful! nobody trusts each other, everyone's afraid of surveillance, nobody is safe. building up any sort of resistance movement is going to be incredibly difficult anywhere the hegemony can listen.

further, it's canon that the hegemony very tightly controls the flow of information in and out of their borders, and that includes information about the other species and life outside the hegemony. keeping the population ignorant makes them easier to control, after all. this is a known and very common tactic in authoritarian regimes. the common batarian living within hegemony borders believes that their way of life is best, this is how things are meant to be, and all the aliens are lesser beings and basically savages, so it's best to just listen to the hegemony and do as you're told and never ever leave :) why would you want to leave when this is the best possible life for you :) most batarians aren't going to be aware that there's anything wrong with the dystopian horror they're living in, because it's all they've ever known and all they can know. so odds of the lower castes all realizing they're being oppressed and agreeing "fuck that" together are uhhh slim to none, to say the least. this shit goes very deep, and the hegemony has been in place for centuries, so they've had a lot of time to root themselves in the populace's collective heads as Good And Correct And The Only Way To Live.

so, okay, let's leave the hegemony. easy right? wrong. sure, omega has no rules, but that means you're unlikely to find a lot of help if the hegemony decides to drag your ass back. you're still going to have to stay vigilant for spies and trackers and unfriendly tech, assuming they're not going to just up and kill you (which is probably more likely, even - out in terminus, nobody looks twice at somebody getting ganked, but a kidnapping will draw more attention, and then you've got martyrs, and nobody wants those). outside hegemony space, you're going to run into two main flavors of batarian:

batarians who were born under the hegemony, but no longer live there. these can be divided further into batarians who are still loyal to the hegemony for one reason or another (money, habit, blackmail), and those who have cut ties. either they managed to escape somehow, they were let go willingly and decided never to go back, or somebody else took them out of hegemony space.

batarians who were not. these will then be divided into those who still work with the hegemony (we know they pay good, after all) and those who want nothing to do with them.

of those four groups, you're going to have to make a hell of a pitch to get allies for any budding resistance movement - the hegemony are seen as an omnipresent evil in terminus, but one you can live with as long as you don't do anything stupid. keep your head down, or take their money even, and you'll probably be okay. they're a big damn government with a wide territory and lots of guns, and we know canonically that they have a lot of tech and stuff that they don't even share with the rest of the galaxy because they're paranoid and selfish, so "just stay out of their way" is going to be a very, very popular method of dealing with them.

oh, and remember what i said about hegemony info diets? yeah. culture shock once you're out is gonna be a bitch. we're talking near-catatonia levels of existential crisis here.

"what about the citadel," you may ask. great question! fair point! we can in fact reasonably infer that the vast majority of citadel species, with the exception of the asari with their """indentured servitude""" and possibly the hanar depending on how far down the rabbit hole of the hanar-drell relationship you feel like going down with me, are very anti-slavery and would support going against the hegemony! except, unfortunately, it's more complicated than that, because the batarians were the fourth species to reach the citadel, can be inferred to have been the "peacekeepers" of the galaxy prior to the uplifting of the krogan (yes i have textbooks of batarian history no we're not getting into it right now go read bitw), and in general are a big damn nuisance that the council don't want to risk war with right at the moment. "but there's more of them then there are of the hegemony!" yeah and you know how many of them are actually capable of war? the turians. das it. until the alliance start getting in slapfights with the hegemony, the turians are the only species really capable of waging war to any meaningful extent, and supporting the resistance in any way, even just allowing them to Exist on the citadel, would cause a lot of trouble for the council that they simply aren't able to deal with while the batarians still have their embassy on the station. remember what i said about politics? yeah you came and asked tumblr user sparatus about this there's so much xenopolitics involved in why the hegemony haven't been wiped off the map yet i made this field up but it's my passion--

ahem. does this sound like more effort than it's worth yet? good. that's the point.

in short: getting any sort of resistance movement going with any degree of traction is going to be incredibly difficult. there's very few places to run, getting recruits who are at least mostly sane will be like pulling teeth, and you're basically on your own. it's even fair to assume that resistance movements have happened in the past and failed. the hegemony are large and in charge, and yeah sure they're falling down on themselves and a shadow of their former selves but that makes them more dangerous because, as we can see in canon, that pride makes them aggressive and very determined not to show weakness or let anyone know how bad things are getting. taking them down is an uphill battle in the blinding snow and brother, the resistance are a beat-up rear-wheel drive with no snow tires and a faulty fuel injector.

no, i don't make metaphors that make sense. i write about political intrigue and the comics characters, it's obscure bullshit or bust over here.

obviously that's not all to say a resistance movement is impossible. i have one myself, hi how ya doin read my fic. that's all just set up. to write a resistance movement against a massive, well-entrenched regime like the hegemony, you first have to have a good, solid idea of what they're resisting against, and all the factors getting in their way. it's hard! it's difficult! it's true to how these things tend to work out in real life!

here's how i have things set up for my own work (again, keep in mind this work is not free to use):

the hegemony's fall from grace following their defeat by the rachni and their job as the main military might being usurped by the krogan and later turians has led to infighting and cannibalizing each other. as conditions steadily declined and the bad parts of the bad system got worse, what was previously a sustainable dystopia spiraled downwards into a ticking timebomb. the conclave (the "senate" which is now effectively no longer elected running everything, the top caste) is inbred to hell and back, because you can't possibly marry outside your caste, and the question of nonviability is becoming a when, not an if.

the arrival of the alliance and the council's apparent "favoritism" (read: not simply letting the hegemony have their way, because no you're both breaking laws actually please just shut up and sit down for mediation) has destabilized their standing in galactic society, causing their retreat further into isolation. this is making everything worse. things fall apart.

some senators within the conclave, particularly senators shahok khor'berran and morem kednelok, have recognized the hegemony is barrelling towards its breaking point and are looking for reform.

morvarn taryn, a cop in dasrak (the capital city, btw i will always be salty bioware didn't even give khar'shan a CANON CAPITAL CITY), has always struggled with having more empathy than a man of his caste is supposed to have. this gets him in trouble when dealing with a krogan slave that keeps breaking confinement, wragg, because damn that poor guy's really fucked up huh. (this also gets into alien slavery and that whole quagmire, but that's a different essay), but he doesn't really actually question the regime fully until a friend of his, air force lieutenant tarvok shad'derah, comes by the bar one day clearly in pain, and morvarn convinces him to come to his apartment for treatment and finds tarvok and his squad have been subjected to sapient experimentation without anaesthesia and the wounds have been left exposed.

the shad'derahs are a prominent family line due to their ancestor rothok being the second spectre in history and a close friend of gurji beelo. further, as a military officer tarvok is roughly the same caste as morvarn, and they both should be spared from this kind of treatment. the fact that even their middle-tier caste isn't enough to keep them from being seen as tools and objects radicalizes morvarn, but he doesn't realize it yet.

he brings his concerns to a close friend. friend happens to be senator shahok, who sees an opportunity and agrees with morvarn that either things need to change, or the hegemony will fall, and perhaps it needs to for their own survival as a species.

several months pass, with much thinking and discussing of what to do. tarvok disagrees that anything needs to change, and insists this is just the way things are, but morvarn's compassion sticks with him until a fateful mission rattles him, and the hegemony's plan to subject his younger brother thrajul to the same treatment he's had convinces him it's time to leave.

shit happens, blah blah blah, morvarn and tarvok end up fleeing khar'shan with a small group of supporters and also non-supporters who have no other choice but to go with. they run to omega and spend a few months trying to sort themselves out before deciding to keep trying to rescue friends and family from the hegemony.

this evolves into other batarians seeking their help getting their own loved ones out, raiding slavers, deep-cover missions, etc etc, until they're actually a proper resistance movement. they even make non-batarian friends, including gurji taeja, beelo's descendant who has a familial loyalty to the shad'derahs because salarians have like a whole thing about that.

there is no true plan for taking down the conclave, because how the fuck are they supposed to do that

and that's how exdiff and the whole x57 and resulting hegemony plotline tie in, because x57 kicks off the hegemony gearing up for war properly and once [REDACTED] then well the hegemony's the only problem left to deal with and hey look there's this whole group of guys with very intimate knowledge of what to do with them and some guys on the inside,

i have a fic planned for the actual downfall it's called carrion men and i am GOING to outline it next year so maybe i can get started writing it for camp nano or proper nano

..... oh my god this is so much. i am so sorry to anybody whose phone this fucking destroys trying to load it. but also not really. my m.e. big bang fic was an entire treatise of political intrigue and speculation on potential asari supremacy conspiracy, you don't come to me for concise answers on xenopolitical things. anyway hello i have put a completely normal and reasonable amount of work into the hegemony and the resistance and batarians in general

#press conference #cr-noble-main #HOLY SHIT THIS IS SO MUCH LONGER THAN I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE IM SO SORRY FDHSLD #do you understand why i got mad and didnt want to retype it for a while lol #council memos #council records #WHICH ONE WAS MY FANDOM DISCUSSION TAG I FORGET #yeah lemme just make a smart themed tag system i said. i will definitely remember this i said.#demented screaming.#turning off reblogs preemptively. any time i talk about batarians nobody can fucking behave #do you guys remember that time i got accused of supporting human trafficking because i said the batarians have a point #in being mad about the humans setting up colonies in territory the batarians had already claimed and were in. i remember.#i trust none of you. no reblogs.

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dungeons-and-dragon-age · 1 year

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While 'Renan is off finding the holy grail, slaying one and a half high dragons, burning the rotting corpse of the crucified king, and having a personal crisis, Noya is also having A Great Time in the Deep Roads! :) Including but not limited to fun activities such as: nug wrangling, being trapped miles under the earth for weeks on end, finding and killing two paragons, and encountering horrors beyond her imagination that will fuel nightmares for the rest of her life! <3

#i could not be bothered to draw the entire party im sorry </3 #she is with leli sten and wynne and mutton tho!#(mutt is their mabari :) )#they're taking a lot longer than expected obviously bc who would have thought they'd have to start a whole ass deep roads expedition #so renan gets a bunch of stuff done in the mean time #(well maybe not *that* much but he does return to redcliffe w the ashes & do morri's request & return to ostagar)#the plan was to regroup in redcliffe but cos the others are taking so long they decided to send a messenger & go do sth instead of waiting #oc: noya tabris #my ocs #my art #id in alt #also. i like to think that the archdemon dream happened when noya was in the dead trenches #like when noya sees the archdemon in person is also when ali & renan have that dream abt it feeling super close & like its looking at them #idk i just that that would be cool #dunno yet where i want to put the tamlen thing timeline wise yet though #bc i'd kinda like for noya to be there for that

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wizardofgoodfortune · 1 year

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27 for Spotify fic thing!

a bit of comfy dreamling. and i fully believe that this would've been better if i had finished reading the entirety of the comics. alas... we can have a bit of silliness for now! but thank you for the ask!! 💓 i hope you are having fun with the ask game.

When you've lived for such a long period of time unimaginable to the common living being, asking for help is something short of unthinkable. He is Endless, after all. Lord of Dreams and Ruler of Nightmares. The Dreaming itself.

At least, that's what Dream thinks.

Death said he was foolish for not asking for help during his century in the Wych Cross, in the Burgess's basement, and for the pursuit of his tools afterwards. He doesn't think she will ever understand—he didn't want to worry her, or anyone for that matter.

Much less Hob Gadling, who is a mere 600 years old. He was older than most, yes, but still. Dream should be able to handle everything by himself. The Shaper of Forms should be able to fix all his problems on his own.

This is why Dream couldn't fathom why Hob gave him this tiny device he called a 'mobile phone'.

"Keep in touch," Hob said, "for when you need my help the next time you get... compromised. Or for when you just want a drink. Or a friend," he tacked on, grinning.

Dream stared at the phone accusatorily. It sat on the couch beside him in his room, unaware of his glare.

It was as if Hob didn't know how hard it already was for him just to mention that he'd been captured. By a human, with parlor tricks, no less. And before their recent meeting, they just met once every hundred years. Now Hob expected Dream to just... 'text' him?

Dream scoffed. This was ridiculous. They should have just continued to meet every hundred years.

But then again, the whole ordeal with Rose Walker and Desire just finished. Could Hob have helped with that problem? Most likely not. But sometimes, Dream did find that... elaborating... on one's feelings... proved. Useful.

And in the light of having been betrayed by his sibling, there was nothing he wanted more than to hear someone talk at him, for distraction. Or maybe even listen to him. Much like Hob did, the last time, in The New Inn.

Dream sighed. This was ridiculous. He tucked the phone into his coat, and left. He had much to do, and little time to spend on frivolities. He couldn't spend his time ruminating on every single thing in his life; he would certainly go insane if he did. So he will concentrate on the things he can fix now.

Dream was in the middle of a meeting with Lucienne and Merv when a ding! rang in the throne room. Lucienne looked up from her notes, and Mervyn cocked his pumpkin head.

It came from inside his coat. Dream paused for a moment, and opened his mouth to continue—

Ding!

"Uh, boss, I think that's coming from you," Merv said.

Lucienne hid the lower half of her face in her ledger. Dream dreaded to think why.

"I will take care of this," Dream said, standing from his throne. "I trust you will be able to attend to the repairs in my place, Lucienne. Mervyn."

"Of course, my lord," Lucienne said.

"See ya, boss," Merv said.

Dream turned away and blinked into his room before he could see them smile at each other at his expense.

He conjured the phone from his coat, forming from grains of sand. The screen simply said, '2 new messages from Hob Gadling.'

"Hey stranger! Fancy a night out at The New Inn? Just got done with finals, and I could use a relaxing evening. Beer for me, wine for you? I got you something even better than before," the first text said.

In their last meeting, Dream had actually caved to drinking wine. It seemed more palatable than any of the drinks in the past six centuries, and he was. In a good mood, so to say. He didn't really realize how thirsty he was until he got into a comfortable atmosphere.

"And I'm thinking you should try out our pizza tonight. Only made out of the finest ingredients, I promise. If you thought the shepherd's pie was good, wait for this one," the second text said.

And how hungry.

And because the Dreaming is him, thunder rumbled in the distance, as if to imitate an empty stomach growling.

This is ridiculous, Dream thought, as he stepped out of his room and into The New Inn. It was evening this time, and the place glowed yellow and orange. It was alive with its customers' tipsy buzz, the clinking of tableware, and the smell of savory food and alcohol.

Dream looked over to the spot where Hob sat before, and felt a pang of an unnamable feeling in his chest when he didn't see him there.

"My friend," bellowed a familiar voice from behind the counter.

It was Hob. He had a small towel thrown over his shoulder, and he had half of his hair tied back. Dream noticed the beads of sweat on his temples.

"Didn't expect you here so soon. I'll be right with you," Hob said, his face bright. He gestured to the table in the corner. "Have a seat."

And so Dream sat where he sat before. What was Hob up to?

"Sorry for the wait," said Hob from behind. He came brandishing a glass and a bottle. Was that a smear of something red on his cheek? And why was he wearing a flour-dusted apron? "If I knew you would come this fast, I would have texted you much earlier."

Dream watched Hob pour him a glass of wine.

"Y'know, you could have replied. I would've been more prepared that way," Hob said, setting down the bottle, and settling down across Dream. "Not that I mind, of course. Just thought you would be more preoccupied. But I could get used to it."

Dream huffed. "Do not. You merely caught me at an opportune time."

"And what joy," Hob said. He was grinning. Then he was standing up again. "Be right back."

Hob disappeared behind the counter and into what Dream assumed is the inn's kitchen. Dream looked at the wine. It didn't seem right to drink alone.

So instead, Dream listened to the sound of the inn's patrons talking to their friends about their day, good or bad, listened to the soft music playing on the speakers, listened to the dreams of a student snoozing on his friend's shoulder, heavily inebriated too early in the night.

He was having a nightmare about his 'finals,' as Hob called it. Dream waved the nightmare away. In this place, he deserved comfy dreams. His nightmare could wait another night.

"Make way, hot pizza coming through," Hob announced from behind again, hurriedly setting down a wooden plate. On it was flat bread with golden, melted cheese and the same red sauce that Dream saw on Hob's cheek earlier. There were also sliced cherry tomatoes and basil leaves on top. The pizza glistened under the yellow lights of the inn.

"Been a while since my last pizza," Hob said, sitting down across him with a sigh. He held his beer in his other hand. Maybe this time he would stop moving around so much.

Wait.

"You made this," Dream said, in disbelief.

"Yeah, picked it up when I lived in Italy a few years back. Don't think it's as good as how they taught me, but you be the judge. And don't hold back," Hob said as he cut through the sauce and cheese with a knife. "Hey, you haven't drank your wine yet."

"No," Dream said. He didn't want to elaborate.

"Buon appetito," Hob said, gesturing to the pizza. He wiped some of the sweat on his forehead away with his towel.

Dream stared at Hob.

"Please, before it gets cold," Hob insisted.

"Are you not going to eat?" Dream asked.

"Oh." Hob paused. Was that surprise? "I suppose I should, shouldn't I?"

Dream took his slice the same time Hob did, but Dream had more difficulty with his. The cheese stretched on impossibly, refusing to let go, until Hob chuckled and cut through it with his knife.

And finally, Dream bit into the slice. Both the sliced tomatoes and the tomatoes used in the red sauce reminded him of a dream of a farmer in the Italian countryside, toiling away in the hot day and coming home to his wife and son, his arms full of produce. The hot cheese came from the milk of a family cow cherished by its farmer. It dreamt of a seemingly never-ending green pasture, where she lived with her calves. The bread had the thoughts of the man in front of him kneaded into it, thoughts of how proud he was of his students, especially those graduating soon. Even the basil leaves contained Hob's thoughts, each carefully placed on the pizza, wondering if Dream would like it.

Dream gulped.

"Good?" Hob asked. He was smiling, but Dream spotted a bit of worry on the lines in his crow's feet.

"It is," Dream tried to find a sufficient word, but ended up echoing Hob, "good."

Dream watched Hob's shoulders loosen.

"Good. Great," Hob said, grinning, fully this time.

Dream felt his own chest tighten. He stifled the feeling with more of the pizza instead, and listened to Hob launch into how finals week went.

Maybe later in the night, wine-drunk, Dream would tell Hob of what happened recently. But right now, he was content to eat, and drink, and listen to his friend.

#i think sometimes dream could use a little bit of a good time. as a treat #and i think he has a different relationship with and perception of food. idk. for fun #sandman #dreamling #*my fic #*#wintersmitth #this went longer than i thought it would im So Sorry #i didn't know how to end it. Help #i might continue it? idk what to do with this anymore. LMFAO #i hope you are doing well!#spotify wrapped #ask

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