#this is just how my brain is wired | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

amplifyme · 9 months

Text

Beauty and the Beast - Beggar's Comet

Game of Thrones - Winter Is Coming

#george r.r. martin #beauty and the beast 1987 #game of thrones #asoiaf #snow #gabriel #ned stark #house stark's words: winter is coming #if coincidences are just coincidences then why do they feel so contrived?#sorry #this is just how my brain is wired

2 notes · View notes

moved-2-koiranliha · 2 years

Text

i am completely incapable of making a definitive statement. you ask me if i killed joe johnson, cishet male age 26 he/her pronouns 5'9" 173 pounds shoe size 11 brown hair hazel eyes, at 8:35 pm 3 feet away from the back wall outside of target in tuscon arizona on tuesday the 8th of november in the year of our lord 2022 and i'll go "no i dont think so. i mean like. probably not. i doubt it."

#this is 100% okay to rb btw i wouldve. made it so you couldnt if i wasnt okay with it #I JUST CANT DO IT WITHOUT THINKING ABOUT IT GAIHDSKLJGDHSLHJKGDSHA #THIS IS JUST HOW MY BRAIN IS WIRED #'like i cant guarantee i DIDNT kill her but its really unlikely yknow?'#im never taken off the list of suspects #spaghetti wall

4 notes · View notes

amygdalae · 3 months

Text

Ive talked abt this before but i am often thinking abt the time i got sleep paralysis and there was a hallucinatory presence in the room as usual but that night in particular I very clearly felt it get on my bed and spoon me. If I was in ye olden times and that happened I would 100% have believed it was some sort of incubus

#my broken brain was like hm weve got some wires crossed sleep wise so how about you get dry humped by a demon for 30 minutes #i got sleep paralysis again last week but it was chill i just couldnt move and then drifted back to sleep. no hallucinations that time

121 notes · View notes

blueskittlesart · 10 months

Text

i am not autistic but i do believe in their beliefs

#^ guy who has a raadsr score of 16 but thought eye contact was a myth well into high school #something they dont tell you about autism is that if you happen to be raised by and around mostly autistic people #some wires will get crossed regardless of what is actually going on in your brain.#my family and friends r like 90% autistic people there was no getting away clean. i was raised thinking this was just how everyone is #like yeah your family dinner conversations dont consist of 4 people infodumping about completely seperate topics at each other for an hour?#this isnt me being in denial btw i know for certain i am not autistic. i just think its funny that i have like. secondhand autism #and also because i am not beating the autism allegations in the comments of that last post. its not me guys its my father i swear #he did this to me #personal

211 notes · View notes

carnivalcarriondiscarded · 10 months

Text

excuse me i need to Muse on something for a moment

so in Wally's secret 'vinyl' audios, specifically the last few (if we're listening to em in chronological order), obviously he starts to sound more strained/distressed. his breathing is more labored, like it's taking all of his energy to make contact.

but the audio that really caught my attention was the "But i still can't see" one. cause he just said he has more eyes than he did before. he knows We draw them a lot, and it's thanks to that that he can see. but he still can't see?

so my question is: where is Wally physically? cause although he can (assumedly) see the WHRP goings on, he can see through the eyes We draw, that could all be on a, uh... more Intangible level of sight. like the spiral pit is forming an eye, and then there's the eye on the ceiling in the secret Staff Only section - could Wally be in the pit, that space between his reality and Ours, "watching" through the eyes? but unable to actually see with due to the pit being pitch black nothingness? is he somewhere else? is he stuck? he can see, but he can't... see.

(or is he trying to explain an abstract concept - he's not actually viewing anything, but he can sense it. like how he knows We're there, even if he can't see or hear Us. but he just doesn't have the words to describe it other than using physical senses - see, hear, look.)

and him saying "...that I can see. But it is still... I can't..." but it's still what, Wally? dark? something else that he doesn't have the words to describe, so he just says that he can't see?

i know that in the Livestream Trivia Document (compiled by @/the neighborhoodwatch) there was something said about Wally being in a box. my first thought reading that was "oh, so he's in storage? the physical puppet, i mean?" which would make sense - show's over, there's no more use for him. pack 'em up and put him away. but that paired with the "can't see" audio makes both seem a lil... connected.

Wally can't see > he's likely somewhere dark > the inside of closed boxes are dark > Wally's in a box. (or maybe the Neighborhood is the box? it's a stretch, i know, but the map is a box. television sets are often set up in "boxes". maybe it's less of a physical storage box and more of a 'boxed in' sort of thing...)

one question i've had since the Start of my interest in this incredible project is: how is Wally communicating? how has he connected to the site? how does he connect to our reality? the pit almost definitely has something to do with it - most likely acting as a bridge, or the deteriorating of the barrier between our two 'worlds' - but if Wally is in a box and Not the pit or even just in the puppet's reality... how is he reaching us beyond just seeing through the eyes he's given?

or is he in their reality, and he can contact through the pit or something, but he can't actually see the other side? Our side? he knows it's there - that We're there - but none of it is visible to him. maybe his apparent disassociation in the 14 bug audios is a demonstration of him contacting Us. we can see through him, but it's a one way street.

and speaking of the pit - i just had a thought. his whole thing with Us letting him in, opening... the pit on the neighborhood map is getting bigger and clearer. but the presumed Other Side, the one on the Staff Only ceiling, is small. it's the size of a ceiling panel. it seems to me that Wally is chipping away at his side of the pit or 'portal', trying to reach Our reality, but he needs Us to do the same thing on the other side. the QA can hear him calling, but there's no phone on their (Our) side of the pit. how do We call back???

there's a fundamental barrier & lack of understanding between Wally and the QA/Us. he's trying. he wants to be let in, but what does that mean, really? let him in where? open what? he's desperate. he wants us to understand. he's trying so so hard Without the right tools to clearly communicate what he wants. he can't see Us, We can see him, both know the other is there, but there's no way to connect. and the attempts are hurting all parties involved, however unintentionally

#and its very ah. Autistic/Neurodivergent Horror i think?#the Wanting To Explain but Being Unable To because the people you're trying to communicate with #function differently than you. they don't understand. they Can't understand. their brains are wired differently.#no matter how hard you try there will never be understanding. your attempts to connect are somehow Incorrect.#and often - in my experiences at least - being that Different gets you hurt. people perceive your actions/behavior as a slight.#or as intentionally malicious! and then they get mad and you just.. dont get Why? you didn't Want to hurt anyone. you wanted to Explain.#you wanted someone to look at you and Understand. say 'oh. i see you! i get it now!' and have that Connection.#but you will never be understood. never Seen nor Heard. left in the dark. you're accidentally hurting them. they're hurting you.#it takes all of your strength to try to reach them and yet you still. fall. short. because they don't reach back.#anyway ive had these thoughts simmering for a lil while #Knowing whether or not the bug audios are present day or not would cross some theories off and write up new ones i think #that confirmation seems Important imo....#homebogging #welcome home speculation #welcome home theory #then of course there's the question of how Home fits into all of this... in the early days i was a 'home is evil' believer but now??#nah. home's not outright Evil i think. there's something complicated going on between them and wally and its role in all of this #im just... unsure of what. i think confirmation of whether his morse code says 'help me' or 'hello' would massively help clear up the sitch #is home an accomplice? a victim? a perpetrator? a secret fourth option? who's to say (yet)#i have many Thoughts about it based on a couple different things - the distorted voice under wallys. the waLLy guestbook entry. etc #but this post has gotten long enough and its Not on that particular subject #*grips the bug audios & home's morse code* you two motherfuckers would clear so much up i stg-#the bug audio's timeline placement could tell us whether or not wally is with his neighbors or if the neighborhood is intact (in some way!)#home's morse code would give Major insight into their place in all of this!!!#AGH THIS FUCKING PROJECT MAKES ME INSANE. IT'S SO GODDAMN GOOD WHO AUTHORIZED THIS-#as always take my words with a Hefty grain of salt & i hope it's coherent!#anyway there's nothing more dangerous & all-consuming than the need/desire to be understood <3

151 notes · View notes

oatbugs · 1 month

Text

procrastination is starting to have its consequences finally

#on my friends living room floor they love together but one of them has been london for weeks or maybe months #to be with her love. im on a foam mattress from one of their beds next to a glass bottle of water opened by one of them #in a mug given to me by another. the weather felt like my childhood today and it also felt like 2 years ago.#(put space in the heavens Einstein's idea and hes your friend too so nothing to fear) around the table they drank and laughed and i thought #i hope you keep growing so full with the love you receive . i hope your appetite becomes insatiable from how used to it you are #and i know youre all leaving soon but i hope one day you miss this and that youll be happy you miss it #its worth missing i think #i thought he didnt care but he said after exams hes going walk around this area over and over #(this is near where he lived and where we visited almost daily for a year)#(hed come across the bridge on a lake)#we went where she used to live and at the entrance a fox sat calmly. it just yawned and stared.#it felt important somehow. i think maybe their impressions of me will never be close to how i feel inside but i think #i love them enough for that not to matter. i dont think theyll ever know this. i dont think if they did it would change much.#and seeing them smile makes my heart glow anyway. today i tried their malaysian tea the ginger burned my throat #they warmed my heart. hes going to canada soon and hes going to the US soon and shes going everywhere soon ill never understand #how were supposed to live with memories and with seperation and with the past but we do it anyway so i think it doesnt matter much #i wanted to write a poem for the lab rats with the fibre optic wires lit with blue forcing them to turn around and around #something about how im sorry that the two photon arrays burned the inside of your brain. im sorry about the sharp points of multielectrode #arrayes. im sorry about everything we do to you. she asked to see me tomorrow. im trying to have self control but i miss her so awfully #last night my friend talked to me and i updated on everything that happened with love and the lack of it and she just started laughing #and she told me about the same thing from her side. and she told me about how she loved london because she would walk the streets #and she felt like the people were her. and her eyes would go over the people and the bag of bagels and the construction men they probably #have a kid at home maybe shes a daughter. this kid is crying for her mother and the building you just walked past caused #blisters and pain and people died in it and very likely people were born in it. we talked for hours and i felt like #i was holding her hand just like that time she held mine watching a horror film. i love her so much #my friend is a genius and i remember her picking up the charms of my phone and staring at the leaf hanging from them. shes side stepping to #music drinking dangerous cider and cocktails from a movie and chit chatting with billionaires and undergrads #i love her dearly. his head covered in electrodes. she tells me about a syrian guy shes in love with and she says #what you feel and what i feel is like cocaine. ive tried a lot of fucking cocaine.#she says ive reminded her of what living actually feels like and to never put energy into someone who doesnt see me this way.

25 notes · View notes

brennansmintmilanos · 2 months

Text

hank please

#I know this is so late #I just needed something to represent how much this re-wired my brain #hank green #brennan lee mulligan #d20 #dimension 20 #dropout #my art

32 notes · View notes

jotaroslooseeyebrowhair · 2 years

Text

Girl help I’ve been staring at my (nonexistent) next chapter of my fanfic for over a week I don’t know how to write fluff

#please help i'm so confused #it’s literally just this one chapter that I’ve been struggling with #crying? pain? torture? hell yeha got that in the bag but how in the FUCK do you write a cuddle pile #he’s a dragon it’s practically wired into his biology but by god it isn’t wired in my brain #what if I write angst for someone and they write fluff for me 🥺#danny phantom #dc x dp #dp au #eldrich horror #ghost king danny phantom #dragon #big dragon #like huge #he’s a big fucking guy #he mlem

196 notes · View notes

pine-arten · 5 days

Text

now look at this

#pinemartart #rw oc #rain world oc #iterator oc #oc: Tactful approach revengefully thrown #rw iterator oc #this is tart's icon yayayayayaa #THIS TOOK WAY LONGER THAN I WANTED AUUGHHHHHH IT TOOK LIKE. um #nine hours. i think #this drawing fought back ...#but i like how it came out so.#and i experimented a little #those fucking hands .... drawing the sketch and then the lineart..... made me want to blow up #tumblr is going to compress this </3 #honestly the shading could be better ....... but i didn't wanna spend another ten billion hours on it #so i just went with lighting from behind / rimlight #just realized i shaded the wires with a different light source than the rest of the drawing................................................#oh well there is also a light coming from the top . somewhere #lets pretend it makes sense #btw near the end of this i was watching the worst movie ever made with my friends. it was so.................. i don't even know #my brain was shutting off at that point so

8 notes · View notes

anotherdescentintomadness · 8 months

Text

Tracer85 — Wang YiBo x Bazaar 190810

(Part 2 — Bazaar Sept 2019 studio shoot)

And then some bonus skateboarding pics behind the scenes because our Noodle loves to skateboard.

TRACER85 😭

25 notes · View notes

opens-up-4-nobody · 2 months

Text

...

#it's an old frustration. an old pattern of thought.#i just feel that i have a brain that doesn't hold information. that lacks the discipline to gain knowledge. that is incapable of deeper #thought. and i cant teel you how maddening that is. to sit in a room and listen to other people discuss a paper you read in depth 5 times #like it's the 1st time you ever heard anything about it. how is that possible? how do i work with that? i read and nothing sticks.#nothing stays with me. how??? i was talking to a prof recently who ive heard is hard on her students with disability accommodation. and she #was saying how she doesnt see these things as a disability. how we're just different not disabled. ive heard the phrase differently abled #a lot of times. and i get what she's saying. i do. ad i get why she's hard on them. she wants to push them. but there comes a point where #you are quote unquote differently abled and you run into a wall that other people dont have. then what are you supposed to do? work harder?#but what if that doesn't help? what if that just compounds the hurt that's always been there? what if that leaches away all the wonder? what #then? at what point does a thing become too much of a barrier? i think there's a reason i dont run into many other dyslexic grad student.#everyone has adhd. it's a place where those with adhd prosper. but dyslexia not so much. at least not with the level of hanicap i have #and everyone's really nice. they want to help. but there's nothing anyone can do for me at this stage. it's up to me to compensate for my #leaky head. and i kno im not stupid. ive got a piece of paper stating my iq is above average after correcting for uneven intelligence. but #i dont feel very smart most of the time. i feel more like my uncorrected iq score that comes out at just below average even with me trying #my very best. iq is bullshit but there's something to be said for that gap. im smart if unconstrained by language and time. but were bound #by language and we're bound by time so what am i supposed to do? is there anything i can do? im stuck with this forever. theres no getting #better or making it easier. my brain is wired in a way that gives me the reading skills of a child. forever. and i just have to accept that #and im trying to swallow around that idea easier because the only other option is to choke on it. but maybe i chose the wrong career path.#one of my lab mates said she wants challenges all the time and ive chosen a path that's challenges all the time but im jsut trying to do #what everyone else can without a second thought. it's deeply demoralizing. yet here i am. trying to be easier abt it.#maybe im just nit cut out for this. doing a job im not built for.#unrelated

8 notes · View notes

mouse-fantoms · 1 year

Text

I saw this picture right,

Hear me out:

#…I just my brain is now wired than whenever I see a ghost I just think about those three <3 #they gave a new meaning to the word #logistically idk how it works #WAIT- maybe it’s like a Halloween costume idea Reggie and Luke drsss up as bees and just stand there like ‘get it 👀’#and Alex is like ‘that is not funny; you guys are immature’ and Julie is holding her smile bc hey it’s kind of clever #jatp #julie and the phantoms #jatp netflix #luke patterson #jatp luke #luke jatp #jatp reggie #reggie jatp

65 notes · View notes

ishomieokay · 4 months

Text

if I had a coin for everytime I've gone completely feral over a fictional character who went through horrific abuse at the hands of an authority figure in order to make them stronger/fulfll imposible expectations, stunting their emotional growth and turning them into vicious but still somewhat sympathetic assholes I'd have six coins, which is indeed a lot . . .

#homelander #antony starr #the boys #erik lehnsherr #magneto #x men #loki marvel #loki mcu #spop catra #atla zuko #prince zuko #tyrion lannister #just to be clear I'm talking about prime loki #not variant loki #that loser can choke #also the parallels between homelander and magneto in particular are making me question a lot of things about how my brain is wired #fine i'll create my own content

18 notes · View notes

lokh · 4 months

Text

trying out game making sounds fun but im realising that some of the simpler type of games are just. ones that i dont play

#specifically visual novels. i do NOT play them theyre not rly what i enjoy #now i dont mean to suggest rpgmaker type games are simple. theres a lot going on #but. those are also games i dont play LMAO #hmm wellllll off is an rpgmaker game. yume nikki #but those arent the style of games i usually play so its hard for me to be like #well what are the conventions of the genre or how are good maps arranged in rpgmaker #those kinds of things. so then ur like well what DO you play #and unfortunately the answer is. mainly platformers LMAO #yeah im checking my steam library rn its really just platformers.#growing up it was shit like. ratchet and clank akenjdfjndbcjx????#these feel like an entirely different level of difficulty. and different way of thinking #i think perhaps my brain is just not wired for game making LMAO but it would still be fun to try....

8 notes · View notes

pinayelf · 7 months

Text

does anyone else have this thing where you can only eat certain foods in the right context? (right in the way where it makes sense for you)

for example one of my biggest texture nightmares is mushy rice. I can't eat it if it's mushy, really bad to the point where it can ruin my appetite for days

however I p much devour suman (steamed sticky rice)

another example is I can't eat pork belly with mashed potatoes or like a ~western side dish, I have to eat it with rice bc I grew up only eating it with rice. so the thought of eating it w like mashed potatoes or mac and cheese makes me ill

#i think maybe my brain is just so wired to how it perceives food in context #even when its the same exact food?#like okay maybe bc suman tends to be a dessertish? type dish #to me sticky rice is only okay when its sweet not savory bc my brain said so #idk!!!#its rly annoying...#food talk tw

11 notes · View notes

im-smart-i-swear · 7 months

Text

insane deranged person voice so i think shiro is a wolf and kuron is a dog. you agree

#shiro vld #kuron vld #okay .hear me out on this one. humor me for a second #a dog is a kind of wolf technically. they have a lot in common. some dogs can look similiar to wolves. but theyre fundamentally diffrent #a dog is a product of a much grander process that began a long time before it was born #a dog is born with a purpose and it is baked into how it looks and acts and experiences the world #to be a dog means to be dependent and listen blindly in your devotion and bite whoever you were told to sink your teeth into #a wolf isnt born with a purpose. it just lives. it can be given a purpose but its not wired into its brain. its body isnt built to appease #it just is #a dog can look like a wolf and act like a wolf but it can never become one. it will always stay a dog. a manmade beast #its existence is a testimony to something far larger than it could ever comprehend #is it really the dogs fault if it bites someone? can you fault it for listening without a second thought?#DO YOU SEE MY VISION. ARE YOU PICKING UP WHAT IM PUTTING DOWN #sorry for this. the dog as a methaphor for blind devotion and dependency and irreversable change got to me. yknow how it is #to any followers/mutuals/random ppl who stumbled upon this post on accident: IM SORRY.

14 notes · View notes