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daisiesonafield-blog · 1 year

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Louis Tomlinson is sequestered in the executive boardroom of a swanky hotel in suburban London, and is treating it the way a pupil might a classroom when the teacher’s popped out. He’s leaning back on his chair, feet up on a radiator, hands clasped behind his head and a cigarette on the go. “All right?” he says, grinning impishly.

Despite huge global success with One Direction (70 million albums sold), which prompted a fanaticism that made Beatlemania look tame, he seems remarkably unaffected and far more normal than one might expect from someone with 35.8 million Twitter followers. He’s a 31-year-old so unassumingly bloke-next-door that the bloke next door wouldn’t look twice.

“I’ve always had a problem with ‘ego’,” he says, “and I’ve always been worried about being one of those people in the public eye who just loses all sense of reality, and becomes an arsehole.” As if by way of explanation, he adds: “I’m from Doncaster.”

And so while his former 1D bandmate Harry Styles, a superstar, floats through life like the fashion world’s favourite clothes horse, Tomlinson kits himself out in JD Sports: Kappa T-shirt, black sweatpants, Adidas socks, scuffed trainers. When he tells you he often frequents his local pub unmolested, you believe him.

“If someone does come up after an hour to ask for a selfie, I won’t say no and I won’t run away,” he says, “’specially if I’m three pints deep!”

Of the five members of 1D, Tomlinson has had the slowest start to a solo career. There are compelling reasons for this — family tragedy for one — but he’s also had to figure out who he is without the band around him. “With this job,” he says, “there’s so much room for overthinking, you know? Someone from the record label will tell you they like your stuff, but you find yourself thinking: yeah, but do they? It’s the fans that help you really believe in yourself.”

In the band, Zayn Malik had the best voice and Styles had the best everything else. While the other three — Tomlinson, Liam Payne and Niall Horan — were hardly driftwood, each has nevertheless had to dig deep to carve out a solo persona that would compel beyond the bubble.

“I do miss the boys,” he says, “and I do definitely miss being one of the five, but I like doing my own thing too. It was time.”

It’s a bright winter’s day, and the man in sports casual is enjoying special dispensation here in the hotel: permission to light up. Had this been denied, there might well have been a problem, for Tomlinson chain-smokes with the wild abandon of Mad Men’s Don Draper.

After the release of his second solo album, Faith in the Future, in November, he adds another necessary notch in the belt of any self-respecting pop star next month: the documentary. All of Those Voices is a routine behind-the-scenes look at 21st-century celebrity but stands out for the multiple crises of confidence Tomlinson feels any time he’s not on stage.

“This is a confidence game for anyone,” he says earnestly, “and there’s been plenty of moments of vulnerability throughout the entire process.” An overriding concern of the documentary is not just whether people would be interested in him, but whether they’d take him, someone discovered on a TV talent show, seriously.

When Styles won his Grammy awards this month — he collected two and won four Brits — he used his acceptance speech to say that “this doesn’t happen to people like me very often”. This was swiftly ridiculed across social media because of course white men tend to win quite a lot. But what he likely meant was that it doesn’t happen to the product of manufactured boy bands, many of whom have the use-by date of a pint of milk.

“Only Harry knows what he means there, it’s hard to speculate,” Tomlinson says, “but we all came from relatively humble beginnings, and now we are where we are.”

But while Styles is a once-in-a-generation talent and knows it, his erstwhile bandmates — and this one in particular — need convincing.

Louis Tomlinson comes from a big family — his mother, Johannah Deakin, married twice and had seven children — and was a hopeful child actor before in 2010 auditioning for The X Factor. This is where 1D were created, “masterminded” by Louis Walsh. Deakin, who had Tomlinson when she was 19, was his biggest fan and they’d always been close. When, for example, Tomlinson lost his virginity, it was she he told first, not his friends.

In 2016, a year after One Direction split, she died from leukaemia, aged 42. Two years later, his 18-year-old sister, Félicité, who’d been struggling to get over her mother’s death, accidentally overdosed on cocaine, painkillers and an anxiety drug. The combined loss hit him hard. Aside from the single he wrote about his mother’s passing, 2020’s Two of Us, his mourning has been largely private.

He squints through a veil of cigarette smoke. “Some of the things that have happened recently have been quite drastic, yeah, but then so much in my life seems to have been pretty extreme, one way or the other.” In 2016, at the age of 25, a brief relationship with a Californian stylist, Briana Jungwirth, resulted in a son. “There’ve been challenging times, definitely. It’s funny, but I couldn’t even tell you how many years ago my mum passed, I just blank it out. But for the first 18 months, I’d take any form of bad luck personally. I’d feel every tiny thing. But now I genuinely feel I’ve come out the other side. I feel more empathy for everything and everyone these days.”

After his 2020 debut album, Walls, failed to set the world alight, Tomlinson called time on his relationship with Simon Cowell. “It was mostly amicable,” he says, nodding. “Simon always had my best interests at heart, and I liked him. He had his faults of course, like all of us, but it was always inevitable I’d have to go off and do my own thing.”

His new record, then, was a leap into the unknown and he elected to write not with professional songwriters but rather fellow creative artists: Theo Hutchcraft from the band Hurts, Joe Cross from the Courteeners and the singer-songwriter James Vincent McMorrow. “And that was a big difference, huge. These are people who live and breathe music. It’s the first time I felt really comfortable doing my own stuff, you know?”

Previously he’d been encouraged to sing like a nice young pop star should, without regional inflection. “When I was in the band,” he says, “working with professional songwriters whose entire aim was to write the hit single, they’d tell me that singing in my natural accent wasn’t commercial. Sorry, but what a shit idea! Who wants to sound like everybody else? I dumbed down a little bit in the band, because you do, but I’ve learnt who I am now.”

The album, which has its inspiration firmly in early Noughties indie, sounds more Kaiser Chiefs than One Direction. A risk, then. But when it came out, it debuted at No 1. While this did wonders for his confidence, it’s clear from the documentary that he still needs people — a support group — around him. He actively courts the friendship of his touring band, not necessarily a given among solo pop stars, and he seems almost always sociable. It’s when he’s not up for group activity that people worry. There’s a revealing moment in the documentary of him having just appeared on James Corden’s US talk show. Backstage Corden, an old friend, pleads with him not to go quiet on him afterwards. “You vanish, you change your number, no one knows [where you are],” he says.

Until recently Tomlinson lived in London with his long-term girlfriend, the model Eleanor Calder, but recent reports suggest they’ve split up and he’s dating another model, Sofie Nyvang. Life, clearly, is complicated. Perhaps that’s why he smokes so much. He says, though, that he feels finally relieved of the myriad pressures that once clung to being a pop star whose fanbase was predominantly teenage. Such as?

“Well, being a role model for one. I never wanted that. I always had to worry whether it was OK if, say, I was seen here or if I could get away with smoking a joint there, before concluding: hmm, probably not. But I never wanted to be the perfect pop star, especially in the climate of Instagram. I don’t want to put an artificial world out there. I think it’s important that people see your scars, your flaws.”

It’s never easy growing up in public and Tomlinson had no choice. “When One Direction split up,” he says, “I was mortified, I was absolutely gutted. I was a bit bitter, I suppose because it just felt like another loss to me. But I’ve a better understanding of things now, and there’s not as much anger. It is what it is.

“Getting back together at some point is hard to imagine right now,” he continues, “but I’d be surprised if we lived out our lives and didn’t have a moment where we had a reunion, or whatever you want to call it. I’d be up for that.”

When I ask what it’s like watching Styles’s ascendance into the biggest star of his generation — something that might delay such a reunion — he blows out a long plume of smoke.

“Well, it’s not a surprise is it? We were always aware that Harry fit that mould, and it’s been an amazing thing to watch. Envy? At the start maybe, when I was trying to find my feet, but it’s never healthy to cross-reference your own success with others is it? These days I’m learning to elevate myself in those moments when I have to. I didn’t know how to do that before, but now? Now I know I f***ing can.” All of Those Voices is in cinemas from March 22, allofthosevoices.com

-Full article. Feb 23 2023. Link here. Free link here.

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oceanicjessie · 3 months

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Somewhat shameless self-promotion, but also relevant since I was inspired by a comment here wanting a fic where Stu lives and Billy dies. I wasn't explicitly asked BUT I did it anyways. ;))) SO here peoples, have a very short one-shot where Stu is mega depressed.

#stu macher #billy loomis #ao3 fanfic #stu x billy #stuilly #ao3 link #fanfic #shameless self promo #billy x stu #heavy angst #major character death #no comfort #oceanicjessie-fics #Spotify

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gia-is-a-punk-rocker · 9 months

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After kicking it around for a year me and @amazingaaron are finally publishing the inaugural issue of our metal zine… it drops at 12 am EST!

#metal #heavy metal #zine #zine promo #metal zine

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moldbreakcr · 1 month

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And all the people say You can't wake up, this is not a dream You're part of a machine, you are not a human being

---- I THINK THERE'S A FLAW IN MY CODE... THESE VOICES WON'T LEAVE ME ALONE...

reno of the turks, by stumpy || sideblog to whitexdove

#ffvii rp #im not going heavy into tags bc he is a sideblog idk dudes #& || support your bastard's endeavours ( self promo. )

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a-wins-a-win · 3 months

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“Maybe.” She answered slowly, passing the cigarette over and then crossing her arms over her body. The silence was back, and Jason couldn’t shake the feeling that he had poked at something he shouldn’t have, even if he wasn’t totally sure why. It was Meghan who interrupted the insects this time. “Can you keep a secret?”

TW - self-harm & suicide themes

i am so so normal about these two i swear -- nobody's son, nobody's daughter up now on ao3 <3

#bare a pop opera #fics-ation nation #jason mcconnell #meghan lloyd #shameless self promo #it is quite heavy in so regards to the subject matter so please do be conscious of that #yes meghan's a throwaway joke character but i maintain that she deserved better - i mean i'm not gonna give it to her but someone should

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dreamhot · 1 year

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Recs for blogs that have generally good vibes?

i'll never not stress about blog recs because it's like oh god i can't just say EVERYBODY ... some people who spring to mind who don't post about discourse as much afaik (if that's the criteria LOL) would be @100blocks, @amethystcove, @primeboysbffs, @bastardbvby, @choconotfound, @sweetcelestialdreams, @f4c3, @compscigogy ... also obligatory @carpedzem @lostshideyhole @kiuda @dnfed MUAH <3

#smile.ask #anon #also look through who i rb from !#altho obv some of those are ask-heavy blogs and idk if that's what ur looking for #if u feel you have Good Vibes™ feel free to promo urself #I'M SORRY I WISH I COULD LIST EVERYONE I FEEL SO STRESSED OUT I'M PROB FORGETTING PPL #ro if you see this i love you but ur a hater and i say this affectionately

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probablygayattorneys · 7 months

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Hey, guys, remember how I've been promoting @aabadendingzine because I was a contributor?

Well, since the piece is available for public consumption now, even if you didn't preorder it, you can find me on pages 61-66 or on my ao3 page. It's called Castles Crumbling and explores what happens if you get the bad ending in Turnabout Succession. Gonna warn you up front, it deals with a lot of heavy topics, including an overdose that could be read as a suicide. If you're not in a place where you can handle all of that, that's perfectly fine and you can wait until you are. It's not going anywhere.

Thank you again to everyone at Mea Culpa for taking a chance on me even without any previous zine experience and for making me feel like a valued member of the collaborative team. I had the time of my life being killed by dragons with you.

#apollo justice: ace attorney #self promo #not going to tag all the characters and shit cause like #i'm not kidding when i say it's heavy #usually when i write stories that involve death and that explore grief i explore how you can learn to live without what you lost #and with the empty space that takes it's place #this story missed that memo #but i'm still very proud of it and #if you like this kind of thing #first off #god bless all of us who shun the light #but secondly #i hope you enjoy how dark it is in here

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frankiistein · 9 months

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i should find people to promote breadavota to because who else will ship the funny little jpegs together. should i appeal to the para and transid communities cuz i just realized that the story having "living" as a legal and social status instead of a strictly biological one and chronicles the different ways characters who identify as one or the other approach "transitioning" is very transid fitting. and paras because at least three of the characters canonically are paras and they aren't evil people for it (they're evil for unrelated reasons /lh)

ft the cast that hits all of the "rly stigmatized identifications" bingo (going to put only canon here, none of my hc's)

bread the mc a doll who tries to transition from non-living to living, she's a collective of 46 "breadlings" and can modify her body based on their own internal body parts. she hates the laws

jacques, loveless schizospec/pd haver objectophile/teratophile dollkin (?) who also identifies as being literally dead. he hates the laws

has some kind of dyadic/commited but non romantic relationship with:

media, a zoophile/erotophonophile who is also like transliving and most of his arc seems to be his internalized shame for all of these because it goes against his reputation as his species's most "ethical" role model which is a title he probably got after usurping god and eating her eye. he wrote the laws. also he hates the laws

reception who considers themself a single person but routinely presents as three people at once (which the rest of their species finds weird). they hate the laws

bon/scarecrow, a demon force-transitioned into becoming "living" before getting exiled when they fail at assimilating into society and curse the nation's records of their years being forced into an entertainment industry. they hate the laws

bien. who loves his dad bon. in all senses of the word (hes my favorite blorbo). okay hes too repressed to hate anything

idk how to describe sar i just need everyone to look at sar at all times. sar makes one's own laws

special mention for vara a snarky ai who is programmed is to split fictives of people she hates apparently /lh

she hates the laws

also just look at the art :3 so pretty

the story truly has it all. blood and gore. toxic doomed yaoi. discussions of disability. speculation on sociocultural constructs of love. being "living" used as an analogy for being an entity worthy of love and being part of society. more toxic doomed yaoi. read breadcomics today

#breadposting #LICHRALLY JUST READ IT THERE'S ONLY THREE OF US AUTHOR DOESN'T PROMO THEMSELVES WORTH SHIT </|3 #the story isnt gone on that long yet so theres a lot of themes that havent been elaborated yet #but i trust the author lol #paraphilia #transid #radqueer #i think #not actually familiar with rq community but i think its the common group between the others #para safe #transid safe #media recommendation #image heavy #idk what to tag but yeah ^w^#i actually douby much will see this i just wanted an excuse to share my blorbos in one post hehe #but if anybody does check it out pls pls look at the trigger warnings page

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