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#this has become an essay i'm sorry
kiwikiwiandkiwi · 9 months
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HARRY BEING HARRY ON TOUR — Love on Tour: UK + Europe Leg, 2023
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THE BEST OF SHENKO 1/?
The end of the world has a way of reminding you of all the things you forgot to say do. Mass Effect: Legendary Edition (2021)
#mira makes gifs ✨#kaidan alenko#sophie shepard#EDI#shenko#fshenko#mass effect#mass effect legendary edition#dailygaming#OTP: you're real enough for me#i learned i am physically incapable of creating less than like 20 gifs at a time#but shenko stonks are up right now!!#gif’ing my favorite bisexuals gives me joy 🥹#even though ME2 is dry as shit for shenko content like it’s literally the sahara desert#like a whole ass 10 minutes max of cutscenes between shep and kaidan like come on#like 2 minutes in the prologue and like 8 minutes of cutscenes on horizon#and then an email and looking at the picture in your cabin before the suicide mission#i'm so sorry y'all ME2 shenko canon is absolute shit (besides kaidan being rightfully angry on horizon) which is why we ✨ignore it✨ 🥰#but i rant about ME2 VS treatment too much so i will not write another essay about it in the tags#i will say the EDI line isn't the exact quote from the game but i think about it a lot tbf#same with the quote i borrowed from anderson too lmao (which is also a tiny bit paraphrased)#i just love EDI asking shep for relationship advice when you get to follow shep and kaidan's relationship/struggles across 3 games#and anderson's quote about all the things you forgot to do in relation kahlee to is just *chef's kiss* when you think about shenko#like whether it starts in ME1 or ME3 shenko has some really fantastic moments across the series#two characters with strong morals who realize that they're falling in love and literally start to become each other's strength??#their soft place to land?? their support when they need it?? shenko will always have my heart#also the shenko quotes you get are the most fire thing in the world#you're real enough for me?? you make me feel human?? i want to be your strength- your soft place to land?? shenko you will always be famous#I FORGOT IM GONNA FIGHT LIKE HELL FOR THE CHANCE TO HOLD YOU AGAIN TOO LIKE??#but i’ll stop ranting now bc i do that wayyy to much in my tags lol. have a good day wherever you are! <3
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the-spooky-children · 10 days
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I have two wolves in me
One wants Skidad to be a chaotic evil irredeemable villain that kills kids for his immortality cult and only married Lila and has Skid for the cult
The other wants Skidad to have done terrible no good very bad things for the cult but then died and has been trapped in the mannequin and forced to reflect on all the shit he's done for years until by episode 10 he's a completely different person and he still cracks jokes all the time
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roxyandelsewhere · 2 years
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"I'm not a damn thing but this time that lasts between running from finding myself and finding myself while running." (x)
SPN moments but abstract [17/?] - The ouroboros of Carver era Dean, aka "what if Dean's present had been presented as connected to his past"
inprnt.| society6 | ko-fi
#SURPRISE BITCH! BET YOU THOUGHT YOU'D SEEN THE LAST OF ME (i feel like it's not the first time i say this)#spn#spnart#spn art#spnabstract#mine.caro#i keep having art hiatus i'm sorry. but i refuse to make art feel like a chore so sometimes my brain says NO and i say Okay :(#anyways i'm back babeyy#ok so. what do we have here this time#this post has so many links posting it feels like a whole thing. i'm gonna add this one to the stores now uwu#this was motivated by my frustration with carver era dean having all these things happen to him that feel like punchlines to his whole life#but they're not presented that way. he becomes a demon after All That in previous seasons and the connection isn't made#hence the FMI line. i did josémáriobranconatural again but i had to#i wrote a list of bullet points when i was trying to figure this one out and it says:#'Hunting monsters while running away from becoming one and becoming a monster by how he hunts them in purgatory and with the mark of cain'#'Running from becoming a demon until daddy's little girl breaks in thirty and is pulled from the rack by an angel#and then is killed by an angel and becomes a demon'#'Black eyes and branded arms pointing death at the family he's become a monster out of the vow to protect'#and lastly you can't have a visual essay on performanceboy without touching on that part so this is supposed to look#like we're seeing it all through a window. suburban house window even#i thought it'd be more visually interesting if the lines of the window weren't there but you can also see it as the window not being there#and there you have it folks. finally a new one!!#pros: i'm drawing again. cons: i'm still in the spn pit
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ob4yme · 5 months
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btw i don't think i've said this anywhere yet. my gomez!master does not present twelve with the cyberman army because she "wants her friend back". the master does not value friendship/close connection AT ALL. i am gesturing so wildly at the seven/cwispy master big finish audio. there is a deep-seated craving for the doctor that they do not EVER acknowledge outwardly, and in terms of their principles, they wish it wasn't there. they wish they weren't so bound to the doctor because that bond constitutes weakness, but they are. they always have been. their obsession with "winning" against the doctor is in large part an attempt at compensating for that.
as aberystwyth university's matt hills puts it - "rather than competing over who will 'win', as we’re used to with the master, missy seemingly desires a recognition that she and the doctor are 'the same'. she wants some sense of reciprocity rather than [...] rivalry." and if that's not classic moffat-era misogyny, i don't know what is.
i've established that my gomez!master goes through a period of depression immediately post-regeneration, where she spends the usual adjustment period attempting to understand who she is and fails dramatically. she finds the gender markers that appeal to her, that help to alleviate newfound dysphoria - settling into her new identity on that level, where her expression of womanhood is heavily linked with the idea of femininity-as-weapon particularly as lucy sa.xon employed it, and her sense of fashion/cultural expression draws on iconic villains and women, such as marilyn monroe and joan crawford.
what she fails to do is to find who she is beyond the aesthetic. her drives, her motives, who she wants to be. there is space to do this where there has never been before and she flounders. her instincts are confused, the "call towards who she is" is muddied, and picking through the mess is a complex, convoluted process. she tries to fall back on old instincts; she goes on extravagant murder sprees, kidnaps/manipulates unlucky humans (@drtwat), takes over small countries. none of it is right.
she gives the doctor an army as a cry for help. she doesn't know who she is, and he is the only being in the universe that will have any hope of understanding this struggle that is so unique to their people. they are 'time gentry in exile' (a fic i read once. don't ask me. i really can't recall, but this is not my turn of phrase), bound together now more than ever, and she is going through something that is powerfully rooted in their shared culture. she needs guidance, and she can't ask him for it. that would be losing.
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cringefailfagcat · 2 months
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the way one of my friends offered to get people drinks. one of the others asked for a rum and coke, so i asked for a vodka lemonade n then they stood right behind me and went 'is olive allowed to drink?' it killed something inside me a little bit. like i wasn't episoding i've been responsible about my drinking recently don't take away my autonomy when i'm capable of looking after myself please. i know i barely can but don't. don't make this one of the few things people will actually talk to me for
#sorry but i just feel so isolated in the friend group#like no-one's leaving me out its just everyone is coupled up and the only other single people are in a qpr and go home together to watch#korra everytime we hang out and it kills that i'm the only one who has to go and be alone. everyone else skips off all happy and i'm left#to go back to my little den of depression and fight through the panic abandonment response that i get every time i leave them#but if i isolate myself completely i will be even worse. my therapist told me to make myself socialise as much as i can and i've been tryin#and it's usually alright for most of the time when we're together. like nice even if its heartbreakingly lonely and i dont have the spoons#to contribute consistently to conversations#vent#sorry i'm just. i feel like i'm falling apart slowly#catching bits as they fall and shoving them back into me but still deteriorating faster than i can fix myself#i want to stop.#i can't be a human anymore#i can study and live in literature but i cannot be human#i can't be loved.#i just want to beg one of my tutors to let me camp out in their office for a few hours so they can help me somehow do my essay#like. i can't do it on my own. i can't think enough to scrape up my memory of the books i'm writing about#and i don't have time to reread them to find quotes#i just. want to be a cat hiding under people's tables with the occasional pet from people who are kind enough to like my type of creature#but be left to sleep and do what i need to at my own pace#is that really so much to ask? can i become smaller please. take away this body of mine and give me something that fits the shape of me
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fissicn · 4 months
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idk if i like this but here it is anyway: nesiwe meeting illari for the first time and going "i do not want you to deal with this the way i did at first"
long post under the cut
Nesiwe has heard much about the new arrival, but hasn't seen her in person. Not until today.
She steps into the room and is caught off guard by the other presence. Illari Quispe Ruiz - it isn't a familiar name to her tongue, and Nesiwe took care to make sure she knew how to pronounce it beforehand.
"Illari?"
The girl looks up. She's an adult, technically, but to Nesiwe she may as well still be a girl. At eighteen, Illari is only just over half Nesiwe's age, and Nesiwe is struck by just how young she is.
She's read the files. She knows what happened. And while she related more and more with each line she read, she'd been through her ordeal in her late twenties. She can't imagine being Illari's age, dealing with this.
"What?" Illari's tone, while not hostile, is terse.
"Heard I'm gonna be working with you, so I just wanted to introduce myself." Nesiwe steps farther into the room with a nod, taking a seat across from Illari. "Nesiwe Ntini. Here from South Africa."
Illari meets her eyes and nods. "Peru."
"I heard."
Illari's expression is unchanging. "So you know what happened."
"I do, and I think it's the reason they're having us work together."
Immediately Illari is on guard, sitting upright. "What do you mean?"
"I dunno if they've shown you my files, but…" Nesiwe hesitates, sighing, her head slumping forward to look at the ground. "We have some things in common."
"What have you done?" Illari seems to realize how that question comes across after she asks it, but she doesn't take it back, waiting for an answer.
Nesiwe holds back a laugh, one that's on the edge between amused and bitter. The corner of her mouth tugs up in a joyless smile, and she knocks on the plating of her protective suit. "I'm wearing this clunky thing for a reason. You and I are kinda… in the same boat, I guess."
Illari scowls, moving back in her seat. "Don't try and tell me you understand. You don't."
"I'm not gonna say that. We were in two different situations," Nesiwe says. "But there was something that stuck out to me in your files. You…" She trails off, tries to find the words that she wishes people would have used for her. "…pretty much wield the sun, yeah?" 'As a weapon' goes unspoken, even if the implication is clear.
"Yes."
"So you can tell me what powers the sun. What process gives it its heat?"
"Fusion." Illari's brow is still furrowed in a scowl, but now it's one of curious suspicion.
"Yep, nuclear fusion. Two atoms smashing together to make a heavier one," Nesiwe nods. "Pretty cool. You can do a lot with it. So you know the opposite of that process? Splitting them apart instead?"
"Fission?"
Nesiwe clicks her tongue in affirmation. "That's what I can do."
Some of the annoyance in Illari's gaze fades at that. "How did you train for that?"
"I didn't. That's where our situations are different." Nesiwe leans forward, resting her elbows on her knees. "Spent my whole life campaigning against nuclear weapons. I got caught up in an attack and…" She motions to herself. "Now I am that weapon."
Illari processes that in silence. "You didn't kill hundreds."
Nesiwe sucks in a sharp breath. "Not hundreds, no. But I still…" She waves a hand, unable to continue.
"It's not the same."
"No, it's not." Illari hadn't intended destruction. "I just know that the guilt eats at you regardless."
"Then you understand that forgiveness is earned, and that I won't stop until I earn it." Illari is resolute in that statement, her shoulders back.
"It is earned, when there's something to be forgiven."
"Don't try to tell me I didn't do anything wrong."
"I'm not here to say that. I don't know all your history." Nesiwe places a hand to her visor. Her head hurts already, and so does her heart. "I just know that when I went down that road after the explosion, I was in a really bad place. And it wasn't like I could talk to someone who understood what it was like to be a walking weapon."
Illari's face softens. It's tiny, almost unnoticeable.
"Our situations aren't the same, and don't take this as pity. It's not. You don't need my sympathy," Nesiwe says. She knows that it may help for the eighteen-year-old to hear that. "You're already doing better than I was - you're going out and doing good for the world instead of hiding away. I'm just here to help with that."
"How?"
"Well." Nesiwe holds out an open hand, palm up. "We're two sides of the same coin, aren't we? You smash atoms together, I rip 'em apart."
"Are we supposed to bring more devastation?" Wary, Illari leans back from the outstretched hand.
"Nuclear forces aren't just used for devastation. They're used in medicine, in power, in space travel-"
"I know." Illari interrupts her activist monologue. "I can heal wounds with mine."
"And I can generate power with mine." On cue, Nesiwe's outstretched hand glows softly. "If we've been given these abilities, we can use them for a better future instead of more destruction. That's why they've sent me to work with you, I'd guess."
Illari thinks about that for a moment before holding out her own hand, letting it glow in kind with the power of the sun.
Nesiwe smiles. She wants to say to Illari all the things she wishes were said to her old self. You don't have to be a weapon. You don't have to bring destruction everywhere you go. You can make this curse into a blessing, take a raging fire and warm hearts with it instead.
But she doesn't. Illari is only eighteen, and Nesiwe knows the mindset she's in. It's going to be better to show her all those things than to say them out loud.
She settles on a lighter topic, a grin sneaking across her face. "Plus, I heard you have a llama."
For the first time since Nesiwe met her, Illari smiles. "His name is Chuño."
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singsweetmelodies · 1 year
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i get so much joy when i see you on my dash and you have basically written an academic essay on piarles in some random post's tags. like, actually the best part of opening tumblr is seeing you on my dash and reading your tags. i have loved the routine of reading them for a while now, thought i should tell you that i really appreciate and love them. have a lovely day katie! 🌸🌼💐🌻🎄
oh my gosh this is THE sweetest thing ever, ahhhh 🥺🥺🥰🥰🥰 part of your routine!! CRY. something something about screaming into the void but suddenly it means everything when other people read it & appreciate it too 💜 hugging you tight and kissing your forehead, actually. thank you so much for validating me in the best way possible, ahhhh 😍 <3333 and i hope you have a wonderful day too! 🥰❤️
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artekai · 2 years
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Lab partners ♥︎
#deni's art#deni's stuff#oc tag#oc: fross#oc: dailah#dailah x fross#horizon oc#horizon au#oc x oc#oc art#fross lives au#(every time i think about it it comes closer to becoming canonverse ngl :') )#oh dailah i'm so sorry darling i'm sorry this is your first proper introduction to society you deserve so much better than this my beloved#but i've been going insane over these two over like the past week or so they're so cute omg they're perfect for each other you don't unders#i could write an essay on how this ship came to be and why they have a future together unlike frosskai but brain is fried rn lmao#so i will spare you the bulk of it for now hehe#don't get me wrong! frosskai still owns my heart. but just consider: bisexuals kiss <3#btw fross was totally the one who pestered dailah about lab safety and then he didn't pull back his own hair smh#but what do i know? i'm not a scientist :')#also fross is a tsundere now because he has trust issues from what happened with kai. sorry i literally make the rules lol#he's also been touch starved since the breakup and everyone hates him so like. when dailah suddenly hugs him he just... bluescreens#right after this he's gonna whine about dailah touching him before removing her lab coat and gloves and cleaning up lol#and dailah is gonna be SO embarrassed because she didn't mean to cross fross's boundaries#she's still getting used to having a social life! :')#but... considering that she and her lab partner just rediscovered penicillin or smth idk idk anything about medicine#a celebration is in order right? she's just so happy i love her :')#besties. besties. fross and dailah UNDERSTAND each other. if they had been in each other's shoes... they are not so different after all#except fross has something dailah wants (knowledge) and dailah has something fross needs (passion)#besties. besties. you don't understand#sorry i'll stop being insane and all over the place now <3 enjoy the pretty couple <3
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mitsies · 1 year
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-;. eye contact ; nagi seishiro > in which nagi seishiro realizes he has a crush on you!
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you're a little bit unnerved by how intently nagi seishiro is staring at you.
his blank grey eyes have been fixed on you for the past however-many minutes, hardly blinking and barely shifting. he only spoke when prompted by reo.
you were perched on the edge of reo's bed, legs crossed and head propped up by your hands. your purple-haired best friend was leaning back against the bedframe, his laptop on his legs, as he chattered away about some essay he was writing for school.
nagi sat on reo's desk chair, head slouched against his arms, directed towards you. he's also meant to be working on his paper, and his laptop is open on the desk. the document he has pulled up is blank.
instead of his homework, nagi has been opting to watch you, and you can't think of a possible reason as to why.
it's not like you're doing anything interesting- you've been scrolling through social media on your phone and minding your own business, ignoring reo typically did when you spent time with him.
you've known reo since you were both young, and as a result, the both of you have become exponentially closer over the years. so, when reo made a new friend, one he seemed incredibly excited to meet, you'd been happy for him, and readily agreed to his offer to meet him.
he'd described his new friend nagi as tall, reserved, and interesting- you found yourself compelled to agree with all aforementioned aspects.
he's tall, for sure, taller than reo, and he doesn't speak much unless prompted. and he was definitely intriguing, to say the least. you try not to glance at him because he will definitely see you, but every so often you attempt to sneak a furtive look towards the other boy.
each time, you find that his stare is still fixated on you, and your skin burns under his gaze as you snap your head back down to your phone and vigorously tap to pretend you had some kind of important business to attend to.
"nagi, what do you think about my thesis?"
reo's voice cuts through the awkward cycle of staring-contact-staring, and you could get on your hands and knees and thank him.
"it's good."
reo furrows his brows at nagi's reply. "you didn't even look at it, dude. what have you been doing this whole time?"
nagi doesn't respond, and you pretend that you're not listening to their conversation. a startled noise sounds from him, though, as reo shoves his laptop in his face, effectively breaking through nagi's line of vision.
"i'm not reading all that."
reo sighs dramatically, before turning his attention to you. he turns the screen so you can see it. "what do you think about my thesis, then?"
you raise an eyebrow. "i'm not even in that class. i don't think i'll be much help, reo."
he exhales and pinches between his eyebrows. "okay, whatever. i'm going to go downstairs and ask someone else."
"is there even anyone else home?"
"probably not," reo grumbled, "but nobody'll still be more useful than you two."
he flounces outside his bedroom, and you could almost swear you hear him muttering something cryptic about how 'the two of you deserve each other.'
you glance back over to nagi after the door clicks shut and you see that he's looking at you again. this time, you don't turn your head away, though- there's something new in the air, something electrifying. you feel compelled to return his gaze.
his eyes, you note, are really big. they're not the kind of grey that's cold and boring, either; they've got a certain warmth to them that makes your heart skip a beat.
"what's up, nagi?"
you opt to break the silence, shifting awkwardly on the bed to face him properly. nagi blinks. "nothing much."
"ah. cool."
"not really."
"oh. sorry."
"it's okay."
you purse your lips. could this get any more awkward?
"so... what's your essay on?"
"what essay?"
"the one you're meant to be working on. like, right now."
"oh. i don't know." at this, nagi's attention drifts to his laptop screen, which has gone dim. he jitter-clicks the spacebar and the white light of his screen illuminates his face.
a smile tugged at your lips. "that's a little worrying. isn't it kind of a big deal?"
nagi swivels in the chair, pulling his knees to his chin, and meets your eyes again. "i'll deal with it eventually. just not now."
"what's stopping you now?"
nagi blinks. a cloud of puzzlement drifts over his vision, because why wasn't he working on his essay? there was the obvious factor of just not wanting to, sure, but what had he been doing for the past half hour he'd been at reo's house?
he wasn't playing any games, and he hadn't been asleep. he'd just been... sitting there. watching you.
oh. nagi was watching you.
he rests his head on his knees in a really uncomfortable-looking way that only tall people can manage as he rewinds, mentally recollecting the images of you- of the slope of your nose, the shape of your lips, how your face contorted into smiles when reo said something funny, how your hair swished around your face when you moved around- oh. nagi was watching you because he thinks you're pretty. really, really pretty.
"not sure," he says.
"good reason."
"thanks."
the conversation is dry, and eventually your attention shifts back to your phone, but it's less awkward now- when you'd smiled, an air of tension had broken. you smiled, and nagi had a crush on you- that was all there was to know.
"i'm back!" reo announced, slamming the door open and causing you to jump a little where you sat.
"and my thesis was wonderful, apparently, so thank you, guys, for helping."
you glare at reo. behind you, nagi is doing the same with more passion than usual. reo looks a little taken aback, before he realizes- oh.
oh, he was going to have fun with this.
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kvtie444 · 5 months
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⋆‧₊˚ TEACHERS PET
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A/N: ALL CHARACTERS ARE OVER 18!! gonna try make this a series lol p.s. I love covet sm lolziezzzzzzzz
Summary: Reader has a new teacher and finds herself falling for him blahblahblah teachers pet by melanie vibes xoxo
Warnings: swearing, mentions of nsfw content, that’s it??
・₊✧⋆⭒˚。⋆
If you're fortunate enough to own a car, count your blessings. Given the means, I would have purchased one long ago, but the weight of tuition fees compels me to endure a daily mile-long walk in the unforgiving cold almost every day. Oddly enough, the journey to campus carries its qualities - passing through a park, surrounded by pleasant scenery, with my favourite playlist playing through my headphones, it becomes an almost comforting routine - except on days like today, where I’m running late.
Choosing sociology ranks among the biggest mistakes in my life, closely followed by my track record with every guy I've been involved with. It seems every guy my age is solely fixated on getting their dick sucked and seeking validation from their male peers.
Entering my building, I head straight to class, mentally preparing myself for boredom. Amongst my whole class, I've only really gotten close with one person in my class - Madi. She's friendly, and her accom building is conveniently across mine, making her my go-to companion here. Reaching my relatively small class, I push the door open, taking my seat beside Madi. Placing my bag on the desk. I unpack my belongings, removing my headphones and setting them on the table. "Look who's finally arrived," Madi teases with a smile. Glancing at her and then towards the front of the room, I notice the absence of the teacher. Did I really beat him here? "Where's Mr. Kennedy?" I ask, confusion etched on my face. Her expression falters. "Didn't you hear?" she begins. I shake my head no. "He got caught having an affair with a student," she whispers. My jaw drops. "So, who's filling in for him?" I ask. She simply shrugs.
Engaging in small talk whilst I log onto my laptop, her attention shifts to the door as our new teacher arrives, a solid 12 minutes late. I keep my eyes glued to my screen as I overhear him grabbing items from his desk. I momentarily look away and I almost moan when I see him. Brown hair, blue eyes, a slight beard, a chain sitting on top of his black sweatshirt, and plain black pants - he doesn't look a day older than 30. Picking up a marker from his desk and delicately fiddling with the lid, he looks up to face the class.
"Mr. Kennedy is unable to continue teaching you guys, so I'll be filling in for him," he announces, turning around to write his name on the board alongside the topic where we left off. "My name is Mr. Sturniolo, or just Matthew if you can't pronounce it," he half-jokes, a small chuckle escaping from his pink lips. Madi leans toward me, whispering in my ear, "smash." I can't help but chuckle, nudging her with my shoulder. When Matt turns around, his eyes dart into mine, shooting me a disciplinary look. I purse my lips, attempting to contain my smile, and look down, mouthing a small "sorry." He returns to his desk, flicks open his textbook, lands on a page, and then speaks up, "Everyone, go to page 56. We're going to start off where you were all left off with class differences in achievement”.
Throughout the lesson, he does an impressive job at teaching. He even sets up a Google Classroom for all his work and provides a platform for questions if we're confused—something Kennedy could never manage. Matt sends me a few glances, and each time, my face grows hot, causing me to look away first and break the eye contact. Eventually, the lesson concludes, and everyone quickly packs up, ready to leave.
"Alright, everyone, I want you all to finish off the chapter, make notes, and I'm going to upload a short essay question for you to fill out too. I want it done for tomorrow's lesson," he says, people beginning to exit the room, with me and Madi following suit. As I walk out the door, I glance back at him, and our eyes meet. He shoots me a smile, which I quickly return before looking and walking out of the room.
˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚
I let out a frustrated groan, slouching back in my chair and running my hands down my face. I find myself back in my dorm, attempting to tackle this essay, but I’m stuck on my counterargument. I glance at my open laptop, its glow being the only source of light in my room as I anxiously tap my pen against my desk. Why am I so hesitant to ask my teacher for help? Y/n, don't bother him; it's 11 pm. fuck it.
Summoning a bit of courage, I lean forward and compose a message for him, meant for our eyes only. "Hello Mr. Sturniolo, I was wondering how to counterargue in the essay you assigned. Best regards, Y/n." No, no, no. I delete the message and retype, reminding myself that I'm not messaging fucking royalty. The new message reads, "Hi Matt, I'm a bit unsure of how to counterargue in the essay. Thanks, Y/n." I bite my lip before hitting send and then pick up my pen, drumming it against my desk again. I can't help but keep checking if he replies. It's only been two minutes. I mean, it's late. I keep my eyes glued to my screen eagerly until I see my 'delivered' message switch to 'read.' My breath hitches as my left leg shakes, my heel tapping the ground in quick patterns as I see three typing dots.
"Hey Y/n, don't worry about it. Try using the functionalist perspective and theorists like Parsons. I'll send you the page now. Matt." I smile at the message and feel like a cheesy teenage girl, my breath hitching when he sends an image. It's a page from the textbook which he is holding down with his left hand. shit. His large hand looked veiny, and his fingers took up so much space. He had rings on his fingers, excluding his ring and middle finger, making me bite my lip, almost prompting a moan at the idea. No, Y/n, he's your teacher. My eyes moved up his arm to catch a glimpse of the tattoos that were previously hidden under his sweatshirt. I wasn't even focusing on my work anymore. I snap out of my daze and type a little message, hoping to keep the conversation going. "Thank you !!" I send, now biting the end of my pen, smiling to myself. He's quick to start typing back, "Don't worry about it." I stare at the message until my breath hitches once I see him typing again. "Next time, try not to leave my work for the last minute." I softly giggle to myself, looking down at my hands.
I finally get the work done, submitting it online. I climb into bed and scroll through my phone until I fall asleep, feeling a sense of anticipation and excitement about seeing Matt again tomorrow.
˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚
Back in class again, I find myself barely able to focus on anything - well, it wasn't even work. Matt had put on some documentary, but my attention was solely fixed on him. What's wrong with me? He's just a good-looking guy, Y/n. A really, really good-looking guy.
"Y/n?" I'm snapped out of my trance by Madi. I look up at her; she's standing up, bag on her shoulder. "Lesson's over. Wanna meet and get some food later?"
I nod, "Yeah, text me," I reply, smiling as I get up and put my headphones back on, playing my music. I walk towards the door until I feel a hand on my arm, turning me around. Confused, I look up, and my confusion softens, feeling my face heat up upon seeing it's Matt. I pull my headphones down around my neck as he smiles at me.
"I was calling your name a few times, but your music's too loud," he chuckles. I giggle back at him, feeling flustered. His eyebrows furrow, and a smirk grows on his face. "Is that 'Covet'? Basement?" he continues, referring to the song from my headphones. I look down at my headphones before looking back up at him, smiling, nodding my head, "Yeah,". This man could not get any more perfect. He bites his lip slightly before leaning against his desk, crossing his arms over his chest.
"Am I in trouble?" I ask, my brows knitting together in worry. "Hm? Oh, no, no," he shakes his head. "Just have to hold you behind a bit and ask you something," he continues.
Shit.
・₊✧⋆⭒˚。⋆
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vainvenus · 11 months
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⌲;꒰ Favorite boy in the Valley ꒱
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Pairing - Eli Moskowitz x Fem!Reader
Synopsis - Eli's doubting your relationship so you have to confirm some things for him.
Includings - S1!Eli no Hawk, insecurities, crying, embarrassed and blushing Eli, lots of kisses, words of affirmation, small bits of angst, a bunch of fluff
An - First post back with a new fixation! All tags used are fandoms I write for so feel free to request anything
And if anybodys interested I'm currently writing a Scream Au!Cobra Kai on quotev under the same name I use on here
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Eli had been a bit off lately and it was starting to worry you.
Eli was generally a quiet person, he had been that way since you met him and he still was. But even given his quiet nature if there was a topic he was interested in and the right people were talking about it he would add in an opinion or two.
And he would be more than happy to rant to you of all people about a new series he had started up or to talk about one of the movies you recommended to him so that the two of you could gush about it and share opinions, but recently he had been a lot quieter.
You shut your locker, smiling over at the dirty blonde. "So, have you watched clueless yet? The fashion in that is-"
"Uh..no, sorry. I was...uhm...busy." He interrupted, staring down at his feet at the lie he told, he watched it twice and wanted nothing more than to go on and on about it.
You rose a brow, head tilting slightly as you stared at him with a look that almost made him call his bluff. "Busy?"
He just nodded quietly.
Then about a week ago, when you asked him if he wanted to come over after school to do a Marvel marathon he had quickly declined, saying that he had other plans and before you could ask what those plans were he went to go talk to Demetri.
He would usually walk you to class, everybody saying that wherever you were he had to be somewhere close by but recently as you waited outside your classroom for him he would be nowhere to found and that made your heart sink a little bit.
"Hey, you weren't outside my English class to walk me to culinary today." You frowned, setting your lunch tray next to his and taking your seat. "I wanted to tell you that I aced my essay..."
Eli glanced over at you and moved his nail from between his teeth. A nasty habit you had been trying to get him to stop doing for months and you were real close until he started becoming distant.
"I was just...just rushing to get to Chemistry. I had a really important test and wanted to get some extra study time in." He explained and you slowly nodded, deciding not to bring up the fact that his test was tomorrow.
He also stopped holding your hand, the first thing he could make the first move on, something he could confidently do if he was feeling nervous or just wanted to touch you. Normally he would hold it as he walked you to your classes or even when the two of you were sitting together at lunch but he started to pull his hand away or shove it into his pocket.
And what really got you was when he started denying your kisses. At first you thought it would just be by accident or he didn't want a kiss at the moment since he was still getting comfortable with PDA but you soon realized that he was dodging your kisses, tilting and moving his head when you leaned in.
It was all really confusing. You didn't understand why he was acting like this and it left you wondering if you had did something wrong. Maybe you had done something that made him upset with you?
You sighed, leaning onto Demetri's shoulder. "Its like when we first met all over again, Dem. He's just been so distant and I don't know whats the matter. Has he been acting different with you?"
"No, he hasnt." Demetri bluntly answered, shaking his head while his eyes stayed focused on the homework you let out a long sigh. "Then it's me, I have to be the problem."
The brunette sighed, putting his pencil down and turning his head to look at you, nearly giving you a death glare. "Look, you just need to talk to him, alright? He's probably going through another one of his slumps and needs some reassurance."
You had groaned, rubbing your hand along your face. "Of course, why hadn't you thought of that before? "Thanks, Dem! You're so good at giving advice, can't believe I didn't think that. God I'm dumb sometimes."
He rolled his eyes. "Yeah, yeah, I know I am and I know you are. Now, can we please finish our homework now that you're done moping?"
"[Y/n], Eli didn't tell me you were coming."
You smiled up at his mother as you held a new copy of the comic book Eli had ranted about a while ago along with a bag of some of his favorite snacks. "Yeah, I wanted to surprise him."
"Well he's upstairs in his room." She hummed, closing the door behind you as you walked up the stairs and down the hall to the boy's room, lifting your knuckles up to knock on the door.
There was a bit of shuffling before the door opened and Eli's eyes were wide with surprise upon seeing you. "[Y/n]? What..What are you doing here?"
"I just really need to talk to you. Can I come in, please?"
He seemed hesitant at first before reluctantly nodded and opened his door all the way. You set the things you brought for him on the table then walked over to sit across from him on his bed.
You looked at him, staring into his eyes as you reached out to grab his hand and rubbed your thumb over the back of it. "Eli, talk to me. What's the matter? What's going on?"
"It's nothing-" He started but you weren't buying it, obviously. "Eli we both know that's a lie. You haven't really been yourself lately and I just need to know why. I'm here for you. Is it something that I've done or anything I can fix?"
"Unless you can fix me being a freak, no, you can't."
Your face softened as you held onto his hand a little tighter. "Eli, you're not-"
He shook his head, pulling his hands away from yours. "No! Don't. Don't say that! I don't wanna hear this whole 'you're not a freak' talk again I'm so sick of it!"
The way his voice started to crack made your heart sink as you saw that his eyes were starting to water, fresh tears threatening to spill.
"Kyler said something that...that just really got me thinking. Saying that he didn't know how a girl like...like you gave a nerd with a weird lip...lip a chance." Eli swallowed the lump starting in his throat because he was going to start crying rethinking of the conversation.
"He started talking about how much better you could've done. Better like somebody like...like him." He sniffled, his fingers brushing against his scar as he looked everywhere but you when he spoke.
"And then I started to think he was...was right. You could do so much better than some nerd with a freaky l..lip." His voice wobbled as he stared down at his bedsheets.
"Eli. Eli, look at me." While the boy shook his head you reached up to grab the sides of his face, wiping away the tears with your thumbs that were starting to fall down his cheeks.
You sighed, frowning softly. "Look, I don't care what anybody else says, okay? Kyler was wrong because there's no better choice. I mean, is there any other boy at school who would listen to my constant complaining about Mrs.Carter?"
Eli had stayed quiet as you continued. "Would any other boy let me ramble about [f/superhero] and not call me a nerd?"
Silence.
You weren't done though. "Would some jerk like Kyler deal with my long shopping trips and help me carry all my bags around?"
Continuing you had smiled softly up at him. "Oh and I'm one hundred percent sure none of those guys would watch silly chick flicks with me and actually like them."
He shrugged his shoulders and you smiled, pressing your lips against the his cheek in a short yet sweet kiss and he winced, feeling the stickiness from your lipgloss. "And no other boy here is as breathtaking as you."
Your smile grew more as you saw the tips of his ears turning pink and he turned his head away slightly, looking up and away at his ceiling. "[Y/n].."
"I'm serious, Eli. You're so very pretty. I love and adore everything about you."
He avoided eye contact with you, trying to pull his face from your hands but you only hummed while pressing kisses all over his face and leaving shiny kiss marks along it.
"Your eyes alone just make me melt, y'know? I'm real jealous of how your lashes look better than mine." You giggled, placing a kiss right above his brow.
"[Y/n], stop..." He mumbled, his cheeks now being a color that would put any blush set to shame and you shook your head.
"You have a beautiful nose. I love staring at your side profile, it's just perfect." You complimented, kissing the bridge of his nose before your eyes trailed down.
You reached up, tracing your finger along the scar. "And like I've said before I love your scar. I could kiss you a million times and never get grossed out by it.
At that you leaned forward, pressing your lips right against his scar and you could feel his hands squeezing at the bottom of your shirt, fists squeezing tightly around the fabric before you moved down and captured his slightly chapped lips with your own. While you leaned into the kiss you could feel Eli's grip slowly lighten as he leaned into the kiss.
Eli was a burning mess in a the face when you kissed his scar, closing his eyes at the feeling while holding tightly onto your shirt as if you would go anywhere. Feeling you place felt your soft lips on his own partially chapped ones he was like putty in your hands, practically liquefying.
When you pulled away you giggled at the residue of gloss that came from your lips and that was now all over Eli's face and his own lips, smiling as the boy rubbed his thumb across his bottom lip, his shoulders rising and falling while he panted softly.
"So no, there's no boy in this valley I'd rather be with." You confirmed, wrapping your arms and he laid back allowing you to lay your head against his chest, finding a sort of comfort listening to his heartbeat.
You hummed softly, reaching a hand up to play with the tuffs of his hair and the two of you laid there in comfortable silence and you peered up to stare at him to see that he was already staring at you.
"You...You really mean it? All that stuff you said earlier?" He questioned, his voice coming off as a whisper and you lifted your head up.
You sat up on his lap, furrowing your brows at him while staring at him with an incredulous expression. "Do I need to repeat myself? Kisses and all?"
"I...I don't know...I don't think I really got it." Eli gave a sheepish smile, messing with the hem of your shirt."
"Maybe...uhm...a couple more kisses and it might click?" He quietly suggested and stared up at you through his eyelashes, his lips parting a bit.
And how could you say no to such a pretty face like that?
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n-s4kayaky · 6 months
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𝔹𝕦𝕘𝕘𝕪 ℍ𝕖𝕒𝕕𝕔𝕒𝕟𝕠𝕟𝕤! (ℕ𝕊𝔽𝕎 + 𝕊𝔽𝕎)
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warnings: Mentions of female reader, not safe for under 18! (The Buggy that I am going to use for these headcanons can be either from LA or Anime.)
a/n:  I love making headcanons about characters I love, so here are a few ideas about Buggy!
Soooo I think we all think the same thing, which is that this man's body hair is the same color as his head hair. I think he takes good care of it, meaning he trims it and doesn't let it get too wild. I see that he has some hair on his chest, forearms, and what I like the most, the happy trail ;)
Speaking of hair, Buggy takes VERY good care of his long blue hair. I'm sure this man has a private shower full of all kinds of shampoos, conditioners, hair nutrition, etc. Besides taking care of it, he LOVES to have it combed, especially if it's by you. I can imagine him asking you to comb his hair after a hard day of work where his crew has pushed him to his limits. He'll sit on the bed with his back to you and let his hair down so you can comb it. He'll LITERALLY melt under your hands as you brush his long and silky hair, and don't even get me started if you massage his scalp.
I think that Buggy HAS to have some tattoo, such as a skull with clown details. The most likely place I see the tattoo is on his back or biceps
OH MY GOD, THIS MAN HAS A DAD BOD AND NO ONE CAN ARGUE WITH ME. He has muscular and well-worked biceps but also has a cute dad bod. Why does he have it? Easy, I explain it below
Well, Buggy surely celebrates ABSOLUTELY everything, I mean, any little thing is celebrated with food and drink. Did they rob a village? It's celebrated that same night. Did a show go well? It's celebrated that same night. He loves to eat and drink, I see it in him, especially if there's some celebration involved.
Continuing with the hair topic and the fact that he likes you to comb his hair, it adds that he loves you to do different hairstyles. Would you like to make him a ponytail? "Go ahead, darling!" A braid maybe? "All yours, sweet cheeks." How about curling his hair? "I love it, doll!"
I feel that once Buggy falls in love with you, he becomes COMPLETELY obsessed, I'm not kidding. Buggy will be with you most of the day, or rather take you anywhere so that he can be with you. Due to his insecurities about his nose, he is VERY jealous. I can perfectly see him appearing behind you in a few seconds, putting his hands on your waist and kissing your neck while looking challengingly at the other man. Buggy has arrived and is marking his territory, which is you.
Buggy is the type of partner who ADORES you, I literally think he will treat you as if you were a goddess or some kind of deity to him, and let's not talk about how he would react if you adored him just like he does to you.
Obviously, this man will make thousands and thousands of sexual jokes in any situation, no matter what is happening. He can tell you while eating, while alone in his office, or while you are helping with an essay for his show. He loves to see how nervous you get with his words
Buggy is someone who likes to give nicknames, especially to you if you have a romantic relationship with him. Even before it's officially something, he probably gave you affectionate nicknames like "Honey," "Doll," "Dear," "Sweet Cheeks," etc. I don't know if I'm correct, I just read this, but supposedly each OP character has a nationality assigned by Oda, and if I'm correct, Buggy is French. Soooo, it's possible that he will call you some affectionate nickname in French, something like "Mon chéri," "Ma chérie," "Mon coeur" (Sorry to French speakers if any of this is mistranslated). He will probably also tell you in great detail in French how he's going to fuck and destroy you, but just laugh when you see your confused face because you don't understand.
He loves cuddles, he loves being in your arms and feeling your beautiful hands give him love and cuddles on his face, hair, and body. He sleeps snuggled up next to you, and every chance he gets, he hugs you and presses you against his body to feel its warmth. He simply adores you and adores every part of you with all his soul
I am sure that he spoils you in more than one way. If you are part of the shows, you will be the first to receive words of affirmation from him. He won't stop telling you how incredible you were, how good you were, and that you are undoubtedly the star of the show (behind him, clearly). While he showers you with affection, he won't stop yelling at and scolding others who have been in the show for the slightest mistake. Apart from that, he will give you anything valuable or expensive, from jewelry, clothing, costumes for the shows, shoes, lingerie, to makeup and anything else that comes to mind or you ask for. He is a captain and you are his little and beautiful partner, obviously he has to give you everything, no matter how expensive it is, and take care of you.
I see him as VERY protective, and apart from that, thanks to jealousy, he cares a lot about you. He will be attentive at all times. If you feel a little unwell, he will quickly be shouting and grumbling for a doctor to attend to you. If you get hurt, he will pick you up and be glued to you at all times. He won't leave you alone for a second.
I think a lot about how people smell, and from my point of view, I think Buggy would smell like a mixture of ash because of his cannons, saltwater, whiskey or alcohol in general, a touch of wood, and a slight hint of his body musk.
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Well, I think that Buggy loves to eat his partner, he loves the idea of your thighs pressed around his head while he has his tongue deeply buried between your wet folds. He will drink from your excitement as if it were the best drink ever created by man, he will always look for an excuse to eat you. If he could, he would simply feed on your excitement and could be eating you for a whole day. More than once he has asked you to sit on his face and you have agreed, but always with that fear of suffocating him, he always responds with "Darling, if I have to die, I would be more than honored and satisfied to die suffocated thanks to your beautiful thighs and with my tongue full of your delicious wetness." Eventually, if you are sitting on his face while he eats you, you will always keep your hips a little afloat to avoid sitting completely, to which Buggy will take your thighs and force you to sit completely.
I think we all know that this man uses his Chop Chop power with you in quite sinful ways, he will easily detach his cock from his body and choke you with it, letting you feel how it fills your throat and how his balls hit your chin while saliva drips from your mouth, staining everything. Your mouth won't be the only thing he fills, he will bury himself deeply in your wet vagina and fuck you while he watches you being fucked with his own cock just a few centimeters away from you. One day he may wake you up by fucking you and when he finishes, he will leave his cock buried in you for the whole day, using it to prevent his precious semen from dripping out of your beautiful pussy.
He releases a lot, but that LOT of cum, he will fill you with a good load and you will feel how he drips all day from inside you (Unless his cock is being used as a plug so that doesn't happen) When he cums in your throat you always have to swallow little by little to avoid choking, and believe me, When you start swallowing you think you're never going to finish
He loves to brand you, he has to proclaim you as his own, so he'll leave hickeys along your neck and collarbone, in plain sight for anyone. Apart from bites and hickeys he loves to spank you, he loves to see your cute red and burning butt, full of marks on the palm of his hand due to his spanking. Obviously, because of his love of eating you, you'll have red thighs thanks to his face paint; but Buggy won't let you clean them, what's more, he'll let you wear a short skirt that day so that everyone can see the marks of his makeup on your cute thighs
I think it's a bit Voyeur, I mean he loves shows, especially if it's about you! I can see him sneaking into the room you're in and every time he catches you masturbating he falls silent as he watches you, feeling his cock harden under his pants at the sight. He will also ask you to voluntarily masturbate in front of him more than once, standing in front of you in a chair while his eyes do not leave your body and his hands separate from him to caress your soft skin
He curses a lot during sex, while he's fucking you hard against any surface near you he'll be whispering all kinds of lustful things like "My little slut… Always pleasing me so well." "I adore this greedy little pussy you have, so tight and always sucking me so hard" "Fuck, you love to please your captain, isn't that my sweet little slut?" "Look how your pussy drips because of me, so adorable..".
During kissing I feel like he's drooling a lot, you always fill each other with saliva during a nice hot make-out session, having your lips moist as well as your chins while half of Buggy's lip makeup has smudged and smudged your whole face
If at any point while he is eating strips of his hair he goes completely wild, he will attack your pussy mercilessly and rip you out of you at least more than 4 orgasms in a row, all in order to get you to pull his hair again
He loves to overstimulate you, loves to see how you turn into a small babbling mass between his hands and how you can't think about anything other than him or his cock. Love to see your thighs trembling and filled with both fluids mixed together, your clever little mouth nothing but meowing and moaning as you spew incoherently and drool
This man has to have at least a slight kink towards the knife set. He will always ask you beforehand if you are okay with it and will put a word of security; But he'll love being able to run the cold steel of his daggers across your soft skin, past your stiff nipples until delicately fiddling with your. It will leave some scratches, not very deep, only small marks, unless you ask it to be harder, in that case it will create small cuts and if it has the opportunity it will make its initial on your soft skin with the help of its dagger
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yippee! apologies if my takes are horrendously bad
my personal take on the matter is that i definitely think the dark worlds can work as a metaphor for escapism without undermining the darkners' personhood. it can be more than one thing, yknow? the darkners are important, their lives matter. and the lightners do go to the dark world as an escape from the problems they face in their own life. but that's not the darkners' whole PURPOSE, yknow? i mean. according to the laws of the universe of deltarune yes darkners' "purpose" is to serve the lightners but like it's not their whole purpose in the STORY.
it's sort of like how, in UNDERTALE, LOVE represents how distant you've become, how easy it is for you to hurt people. but it also literally gives you the power to destroy the world.
i think the biggest reason i believe escapism is at least a part of deltarune's narrative is queen.
queen's whole speech in both of her fights is about how she intends to provide escapism for the lightners (so that they will worship her but also so that they will he happy). she wants to turn the whole world into a dark world, so that everyone can live in bliss and not have to worry about the woes of the light world. she mentions "Staring, Tapping, To Receive Joy. Staring, Tapping, To Avoid Pain." which is like pretty much the definition of escapism
she wants to help Noelle with the problems she faces in the light world ("Noelle. Who Will Be There To Help Her? Her Strange And Sad Searches" and "My One Idea To Help Noelle, Failed") by just... shoving it away for a blissful fantasy world ("Wake? No, She Has Already Awakened Too Much. Let Her Close Her Eyes And Sleep Away, Into A Darker, Darker Dream.")
...i forgot the rest of what i wanted to say!
well first off, thank you for your ask! I'm going to get extremely in depth in my answer, so bear with me here. sorry it took several weeks to write this. the escapism reading of deltarune is pretty deeply entrenched in fandom, and to refute it, I felt it required a full-length essay to completely explain my viewpoint.
yes, "the lightners desire escapism" does not automatically translate to that being the darkners' actual narrative purpose. escapism can be a theme without dehumanizing those who are used in order to escape - in fact, I've read a number of stories that use someone's desire to escape to HIGHLIGHT how they're hurting others in pursuit of that. I believe that toby fox is definitely capable of telling a story about kids having a valid desire to escape, and about them grappling with having inadvertently created a world of real, living people as a result.
(I'll reiterate again that this is not the story arc that generally shows up in fanon. the common consensus is that the game will end in an omori-esque "growing out of" the dark worlds. it's why I have a huge dislike of the fanon escapism reading, given that the darkners are shown as people whose lack of agency parallels kris' own. it would feel cheap if the resolution to that plot was that the darkners were actually never meant to be agents in their own fates. but this is a digression.)
the reason why i DON'T believe that this is a story that toby fox is telling is because of the way the world, themes, and characters are written. put simply, it just doesn't come across as congruent with the story being told.
deltarune's main themes are agency, fate, identity, and control. this is a conflict that shows up in nearly every major character, is baked into the worldbuilding, and is the central struggle involving us, the player. the protagonist of deltarune is literally possessed by us against their will. the darkners are objects that have no choice but to serve and be discarded. over and over again, there is emphasis on roles that characters play - and crucially, roles that are imposed on them.
what would escapism mean, in this thematic context? in real life, escapism can represent any number of things, but in a story, a major narrative theme generally has to dovetail with other major narrative themes in the work. I would argue that escapism in deltarune would likely mean going to a place where characters are able to choose for themselves what roles they embody, or even to discard the notion of roles altogether. a fantasy of control is the only way to escape a reality where you have no agency. and honestly, it's hard to imagine that something could count as an escapist fantasy if you don't even get to choose whether or not you participate in it.
let's talk about kris.
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I see a lot of discussions around kris that say that kris goes into the dark worlds to escape. the dark worlds are posited as kris' fantasy of heroism. it's a world where they can seem heroic and cool, a world where they can have friends. this theory makes a decent amount of sense on the surface level, but only until you consider that kris is being controlled in order to go into the dark worlds. and it is not a control that they appear to welcome.
if those worlds represent kris' fantasy, then why don't they get to choose what happens in those fantasies? why are they being controlled by an external force, one that they actively push back against? if it's really an escape, then why does everything about this world reflect their lack of agency? if they really think this world is just a pure fantasy, then why do they care if spamton falls when his strings are cut?
because they're being deliberately obscured to the player, it is hard to say how kris actually feels about many subjects... but I do seriously doubt that they view the dark worlds as an escape. they don't act in a way that is consistent with that. they resist their lack of agency, and what little we do see of their reactions to darkner characters doesn't suggest that they view those characters as part of a disposable fantasy, either. they seem to have complicated feelings on ralsei. and of course, one of their biggest emotional reactions in the game is to the spamton fight. I would argue that that suggests they have empathy for spamton, which is a hard emotional reaction to have if you believe he's just part of a fantasy. not impossible, mind you, but it seems unlikely that kris believes that all this is simply fantasy.
also, considering that snowgrave both actively discredits the idea that the dark worlds are mere fantasy and is actively traumatic for kris... I seriously doubt they'd open another dark world in chapter 3 on a snowgrave run if their motive was purely to escape. on that route, they've seen the damage we can cause in a dark world. they know that berdly has sustained lasting damage due to our actions, assuming he's not outright dead. why would they want to try and "escape" to a place like that again now that they know what can happen?
the only answer is that they have a motive that isn't escapist.
now, as for ralsei... what part does he have to play in all this?
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ralsei does play a lot to the fun, fantastical elements of the dark worlds. he delivers the prophecy that kickstarts the adventure. he flatters both kris and susie endlessly when they act appropriately heroic. he welcomes them into the castle and even makes nice rooms for them. he initially seems tailor-made to enable a fantastical experience where no real issues can ever complicate anything, and where the pain of reality can successfully be hidden from. but there's a lot of complications to the idea that he might represent an escapist fantasy.
the first, and what honestly seems the most important to me, is that he doesn't encourage kris and susie to remain in the dark worlds. he is welcoming and kind, but once the adventure is over, he prompts them to return to the light world. he wants them to deal with their more "real" problems like homework. that doesn't feel like he is trying to facilitate escapism in them. a real fantasy would encourage you to stay in it, wouldn't it?
and while ralsei is definitely invested in making sure the lightners are happy, there are always cracks that show. he isn't able to make kris ignore what happened in the spamton fight. he isn't able to convince susie to be peaceful and kind. and in his very essence, he represents a number of uncomfortable ideas. very importantly, he represents a number of uncomfortable ideas to kris.
this probably ain't your first fandom rodeo, so I'm not going to explain all the different ways that ralsei interacts with kris' personal issues. there's plenty of posts on it out there. what i will point out is, once again, it feels odd that a character who seems tailor made to bring up kris' most uncomfortable associations with their lack of agency and their outsider status in their own family would be part of a fantasy of escapism to them. you'd think that they'd prefer something that didn't have an inbuilt hierarchy, a prophecy that denied them autonomy, or especially a person that reminded them how little they fit into hometown.
that doesn't mean kris doesn't care about him at all - it seems very likely that they do. what I mean to say here is that he just seems ill-suited to an escapism reading, both behaviorally and on a conceptual level. it doesn't seem like that's at all part of his servitude towards the lightners.
of course, there is another non-lightner entity that ralsei seems diegetically engineered to serve. but I'll discuss that later.
now as for susie...
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yes, susie definitely views the dark worlds as more fun than the light world. and why wouldn't she? the light world sucks for her, and she doesn't seem very aware of the fact that the dark world can also suck. you could definitely make the argument that she views the dark worlds as a fantastical escape from reality... were it not for the fact that she treats her darkner friends with just as much importance as she does kris and noelle.
can someone treat components of an escapist fantasy as real and important? of course. but given deltarune's themes of agency and control, as well as the fact that darkners exist in servitude to the lightners, I feel like you'd have to make escapism tie into forcing others into a lack of agency if you wanted the theme to feel coherent with the rest of the work. this would require susie to be limiting the agency of the darkners around her. and obviously, she doesn't do that. her presence around them might be inherently limiting, just by simple virtue of being a lightner, but she isn't aware of it, and clearly is uncomfortable with the idea of limiting anyone's agency. she encourages ralsei to make choices. and she supports lancer in basically anything he wants to do. her treatment of lancer is integral to chapter 1's narrative, and it seems like that treatment of ralsei is integral to the ongoing narrative as well!
her preference for the dark world feels very rooted in her engagement with it as its own reality. rather than trying to avoid her real-life problems by engaging in a pretense, she seems to simply want to spend time with her friends in a place that isn't cruel to her. she isn't ignoring any of the dark world's problems in service of that, either. she notices when things don't line up. if she thought of it as a fantasy, wouldn't she be inclined to ignore issues that impede the fantasy?
and critically - like kris, she does not intentionally choose her imposed role in the prophecy at first. she steps into the role of bad guy to resist it, but that role is limiting too, and she eventually acquiesces to being a hero. it's never something she's completely on board with, though. she actively pushes back the limitations that the role places on her. I find this important to reiterate when we are discussing the notion of the characters viewing the dark worlds as fantasy.
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noelle has a complicated relationship to the dark worlds. susie tells her that it's a dream to make her accept the strange reality she finds herself in, which works well on her. she continues to think of it as a strange dream throughout the chapter. (though, like the others, it is not a 'dream' she entered of her own volition!)
it is also a markedly unpleasant 'dream' at times. she has her agency restricted, is kidnapped, has to evade a controlling monarch, and is even tied up in a weird evangelion cross thing on the hand of a giant robot. it's not purely fun. noelle does like scary things, and while it might be healthy for her to have an experience where she stands up to a controlling adult figure... again, the circumstances make it difficult for me to assume that this is a fantasy she would choose for herself. not impossible, mind you, but it's not the first reading of the situation that comes to mind.
and while she does say she wishes she could dream like this every day in the normal route, that does happen specifically because she was talking to the girl she likes. it makes sense she'd find that pleasant. I don't think that necessarily equates to her finding the dark worlds escapist.
and importantly, this isn't the sentiment that she expresses in every route.
again, there's a lot of analysis on snowgrave, so I won't bother regurgitating it much here. but it's nightmarish for both kris and noelle, and very likely fatal for berdly. noelle needs to believe that the event is a dream, for her own psychological safety, but one of the most important parts of snowgrave...
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...is that its events, and the world it took place in, are very, very real.
noelle wants to have the strength to face her problems, both in the regular route and in the snowgrave route. rather than escaping from them, she views the "dream" as a chance to practice dealing with her day-to-day issues. it's just that in the regular route she finds that strength authentically, and in the snowgrave route, that desire is manipulated and pushed until she is forced to kill berdly. she doesn't interpret snowgrave as an escape gone wrong. she views it as a dream that became a nightmare. and those are two extremely different things.
but i haven't even gotten to the biggest thing that undermines the concept that the dark worlds are a metaphor for escapism! which is: this fucking guy is dead wrong about everything.
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so full disclaimer - I really love berdly. I think he's slept on a lot in the fandom because he's annoying and weird. which is fair, I suppose, but I think ignoring him hinders a lot of people's understanding of deltarune's overall narrative. because berdly often illustrates a lot of concepts in the game, but his narrative framing as a joke (usually...) prevents the player from taking it completely seriously. he has things to say and ideas to show off, it's just that he's often very loud and kind of dumb in his expression of them. which is kind of the point!
ralsei brings up the idea that the darkners are meant to serve the lightners very seriously in chapter one. by extension, and by way of the literal mechanics involved in a dark world's creation, we can infer that this logic is probably something that also applies to the dark worlds themselves. they are allegedly worlds and characters that only are supposed to fulfill a dream of the lightners. but due to narrative framing and deltarune's themes, we know that that's not the full truth. however dark worlds and darkners are created, they deserve to have their own agency. they can't just exist to fulfill a higher being's wishes.
you know who else undermines that view of the dark worlds? berdly! berdly does!!!!
because berdly is the only lightner in the game so far who does take the dark worlds to be an escapist adventure! he wants to turn cyber world into smartopia. he views this as a chance to be a cool hero. he believes he's going to get the girl, he's going to shape this world to his own liking, and maybe also he's going to get queen to acknowledge him or something so he stops being a forgettable little bluebird. and not only does none of this happen, his steadfast belief that it will happen is continually a joke within the narrative!!
berdly's wishes for uncomplicated escapist fantasy are flat-out denied by the dark worlds themselves. as a lightner, those worlds should be serving him. he should have the power to do whatever he wants within the bounds of an escapist fantasy. these npcs should be singing his praises!
but he doesn't have the power. and this world doesn't sing his praise. because it just isn't an escapist fantasy. he isn't right to view it that way. his wishes for heroism are always going to be thwarted.
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so now that I've gotten all that out of the way, let's swing back over to the subject of your original ask. queen.
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because, like berdly, queen's entire character arc is about how she's completely wrong about what the lightners actually want.
queen would in fact like nothing more to place the lightners into an escapist fantasy. she believes that that's the best way to serve them and make them happy forever. as a darkner, queen has very much internalized the idea that a lack of control is what actually makes people happy. since darkners have no choice in their destinies and are supposed to be happy in it, and since she personally finds her role as a darkner fulfilling, she believes that that's true of all people everywhere. if you want to make people happy, you just have to remove that pesky personal agency!
so she spends the story trying to force the lightners and particularly noelle into situations where she controls them in order to make them ostensibly happier. she does genuinely believe that this is the right thing to do, but as she finds out eventually, she's just wrong. noelle doesn't want that. queen believes that escapism is why the lightners use the internet... but that's totally wrong too.
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while there are other searches mixed in, noelle is trying to use the internet to find her sister. instead of trying to hide from whatever happened, noelle wants to figure it out. queen's thesis about noelle and the lightners is proven wrong even before she personally encounters noelle in the dark world. it's just that queen doesn't realize it due to her limited perspective.
the concept of escapism being brought up with both queen and berdly is not there to say that the dark world is escapist. rather, it's there to say that it isn't. despite the dark worlds being a fantastical place, they are extremely real. to view them as a means of escape is foolhardy at best. you cannot act as though you are above consequences within them.
themes and ideas exist within the story for a sake of an audience. so let's get into the final character I need to discuss here. hopefully this will tie my thesis of deltarune together neatly.
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that character is of course us. the player.
when creating a piece of fiction, an astute author will often identify and anticipate an audience's reactions to certain things in their work, and write things in such a way that they elicit the desired reactions. in essence, a writer is directing the "character" of the audience. how we feel and how we are anticipated to react to things is an integral part of nearly every fiction.
that effect is far more overt when dealing with metanarrative fiction that diegetically involves the audience. since the fiction is saying a lot of things about the general 'you,' the audience in aggregate, your reactions to certain things in the story have to be finely cued and anticipated by the author, so that the author can thus commentate on the reactions that you have to the story. the "character" you are assumed to inhabit is posited by the author to have certain traits.
to explain what I mean in plainer terms, I'll use the player of undertale's no mercy route as an example. because undertale is commenting on the way rpgs generally work. the player's behaviors in no mercy are attributed by characters in the story to be the result of us acting like a typical gamer. we kill the characters in the game because we want exp. and more than that, it's because we want to see everything the game has to offer. the role we inhabit in this role-playing game is that of a completionist. you could say that that's assumed to be our "character" in no mercy.
deltarune also posits that certain things are true of its audience. by being written to evoke certain cultural ideas, rpg tropes, and references to undertale, it guarantees that its audience will probably have certain traits, and spends a large amount of its conceptual focus commenting on those traits. one of those traits is nostalgia, which is probably an idea that I'll expound upon in a further essay because it's quite integral to my reading of deltarune. but the main one I mean to discuss here, and why I went off on this tangent about how audiences are dealt with in metafiction, is that we are posited as someone who believes in the logic of certain narratives.
deltarune's writing evokes a lot of portal fantasy narratives. alice in wonderland, narnia, pretty much every story where it's revealed at the end to be all a dream... the story of deltarune superficially resembles a lot of those. this, I think, is responsible for the popularity of the escapism theory. because those stories are often at their end about a child learning to put away fantasy and grow up, people tend to believe that deltarune must be about the same thing. but I truly don't think that deltarune is trying to do anything with that aspect of portal fantasy narratives, at least not directly. its main characters aren't involved in that exact type of coming-of-age arc.
instead, deltarune is very concerned with what happens to characters in fantasy, and specifically fantasy rpgs. if your world is deemed to not matter because it's a dream, what does that mean for you, who has no choice but to live in it? if you are an npc whose role has been predetermined for you via script, then can you ever decide for yourself what you want? what if you want to matter? what if you want to be your own person?
as the major controlling force of deltarune, we are initially cued to believe that deltarune is like a dream. it superficially fulfills so much of what we want from undertale fanon. hometown seems like it's a perfect idyllic town, at least until you start noticing the obvious cracks. and remember what I said about ralsei earlier? he is so reminiscent of asriel, and extremely eager to help us. it's not a stretch to say that making us specifically view deltarune as dreamlike and idyllic is probably part of his purpose in the game.
I would not say that we are posited as escapist. but the idea of escapism as brought up with queen and berdly is meant to strike at the heart of a much deeper idea that deltarune is trying to deconstruct. because if we view deltarune as a dream, escapist or otherwise, then we are inclined to write the internal realities of the characters inside off. the dark world can disappear without it mattering. we can control kris without it mattering. if it's all a dream, what does it matter? why should we care to let its characters go free? aren't we supposed to be in control?
if deltarune is an rpg... what is the significance of us interacting with it?
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alexa-fika · 1 month
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I've finally reached the point in the anime where the cross guild is formed and addicted🙌
I don't mihawk wouldn't even think about letting buggy near child!reader, but what if reader snuck off to one of buggys shows and got caught by crocodile and/or mihawk?
Circus Escapade ( Cross guild x Gn!Dracule!child!Reader)
A/N Finished my essay ya’ll!! So I made this for you guys, sorry it took so long anon! Also idk how I feel about it, no idea why but the first word that comes to mind is surreal?
Reader here is replaced by Dokucha which means Reader in Japanese.
Dividers by @/saradika
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Dokucha knew that what they were doing was likely to get them in trouble not only with their dad but their uncle would not be the happiest either
But they just wanted one small peek of the show, a small peek at what happened behind the tarp; that’s all they wanted
They grin, popping their head slowly over their hiding spot and watching as the different acts went about performing
The stage was filled with different acts performing, each one seemingly more outrageous than the other; some were dangerous, some were more comedic, and a few even seemed a bit off to the audience…but that was the point; it’s a circus after all
A new act has now taken the center stage, the lights dimmed and the curtains drawn as Buggy himself came out, using his devil fruit ability to perform various tricks
They grin, giggling at his comedic actions, watching enthralled as the different body parts move around independently
Buggy’s comedic act continued; his body parts continued moving all around, one arm reaching over, picking at his teeth, and one of his legs would do a silly little kick before each body part would come together again.
His act was rather amusing, and as the act reached his peak, he came over to the podium, extending his arms toward the audience
“Hahaha!! Applause, Applause, Applause!!,” he screamed, waving his arms around, trying to get the audience to clap for him
They laughed along with the audience, gleefully enjoying the act until they felt something lift them up
They squeak as they suddenly are brought right up to the ringmaster himself
“Well, looks like we have a break-in!” Buggy laughs but stills as he takes a closer look at them
“W-Wait, you’re Mihawk’s-
“Clown.”
Everyone turns their head at the sudden entrance of the ex-warlords; the circus growing eerily quiet, everyone too afraid to move a muscle in fear of angering the duo more
“Buggy…” Mihawk seethes, his eyebrows knit together, his tone of voice dangerously eery
Crocodile, while maintaining his usual stoic expression, holds back a low grow
Buggy’s expression changed when he saw the two enter, his body parts freezing into place, his eyes widening slightly as he gulped, his voice growing quieter as he spoke
“Cro-Crocodile, Mihawk…”
Buggy gulped, taking a few steps back as he spoke, “I ca- I can explain!”
“Do you think I care for explanations?” Mihawk glares at Buggy, his gaze becoming sharp; he takes a step closer
“W-Wait, I swear I had nothing to do with this. I didn’t bring them here!”
“Your hand on them tells a different story,” he growls, ripping way the hand from Dokucha and embracing them
“Tha-I swear I can explain. I didn’t know.”
“Dokucha.”
They flinch at their father's sharp tone, and although they were aware that the anger was not directed at them, they were also going to get one hell of a scolding
“Go to your room; I will come to talk to you after I'm done with him.”
They nod
“Sorry Papa”
“Now you,” Mihawk said coldly, looking at Buggy, who just stood there, sweating profusely, his entire body shaking in fear as the duo advanced on him.
“H-Hey, I'm sure we can talk this out.”
The last thing Dokucha heard as they flew out of the tent was the cries of the mercy of the crown; they flinched at the sound
“Oops…”
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Did buggy probably die? Yeah, is everything Dokusha said to that oops? Yeah cause their a menace
Taglist:
@imaginarydreams
@amethystviolin
@h0n3y-l3m0n05
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wielderofmysteries · 8 months
Text
A Vorthos Defense of Lukka
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Sorry this response turned into a small essay (~1400 words) that doesn't really answer your question, but my Hot Take™ is that I don't think Lukka needs to be fixed.
I believe the problem doesn't lie in Lukka himself, but in the way both the narrative and the fandom treated him extremely unfairly. I'm not asking anyone to like Lukka. Personally, I don't even think anything about him is particularly likable. But I think as a character he deserves a lot more respect than he gets, and I'm tired of seeing other people hate on him without actually engaging with his story or understanding what his character is about.
Here's the thing: Lukka is basically the homeless veteran of planeswalkers.
He started his story in Sundered Bond (Ikoria ebook by Django Wexler) already successful in his military career, engaged to be married to Jirina, and having General Kudro's favor. He was a model citizen and his life was great. One day, a flying-hyper-murder-tiger killed Lukka's entire squad and people discovered Lukka was a monster Bonder because the tiger spared him. The rumors got to General Kudro, whose decision upon hearing Lukka might be a bonder was to have Lukka immediately executed.
Lukka didn't betray Drannith. Drannith betrayed Lukka.
Lukka escaped his execution and was rescued in the wilderness by Vivien, who traveled with him to the Ozolith, where a mysterious evil voice caused Lukka to unlock the full power of his monster bonding abilities. Through it all, Lukka still tried to hang onto his old life. His allegiance hadn't changed. At first, Lukka wanted to use the monsters he controlled to fight for Drannith, not against it. Lukka was convinced that the offer of a loyal monster army would be enough for the city to take him back, but he was no longer welcome in Drannith.
Lukka became increasingly unstable and spiraled into insanity because he had his life unexpectedly, completely ruined and wanted nothing more than to return home to his old life, but that wasn't possible because he now belonged to a class of people who were extremely stigmatized in Drannith's society. He had become an undesirable. Once the city's shining star, he was now the lowest of the low. He lost his loyalty and turned against the city when he realized Drannith didn't care about people, Drannith cared about keeping people in their places.
In Sundered Bond, Lukka loses literally everything. He loses his job. He loses all his friends. He loses his fiance. He loses his home. Everything. He even loses the cat. This all happens to him within like, a week.
Lukka experiences the same hostility in his second appearance, Strixhaven. At this point, he's still a new planeswalker, and he's been planeswalking blindly trying to find civilization again. He arrives on Arcavios thirsty and starving and tired and injured. When he finally finds a town, he visits an inn and asks only for food. But they don't give him any food! They won't allow him to wash up or to rest! This is a man who has nothing and has done nothing, and the townspeople are suspicious of Lukka and want to call the Dragonsguard –Strixhaven's magical cops– on him because he committed the crime of... existing near them while visibly having basic needs that are unmet.
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"Looking for something, stranger?" said the innkeeper, a round man with a head of robust curls.
"A hot meal," said Lukka. The innkeeper hesitated as though about to say something, then nodded and moved toward the kitchen.
"Haven't seen clothes like that before," came a voice behind Lukka. "You're not from around here, I imagine."
He turned. A tall man in the same rough clothing as the rest of the townsfolk had stood up from his table and was walking over.
[…]
He heard the man suck his teeth. The innkeeper still hadn't returned from the kitchen. Lukka was starting to doubt he ever would.
"Okay, Oriq, I think I've heard enough. We don't take kindly to meddlers in this town, or those who seek to disturb the peace. If we were a proper city, we'd get the closest, least busy Dragonsguard to sort you out. But we're just a small farming village—so we've learned to deal with strangers ourselves."
[Episode 2: Lessons - Adana Washington]
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Fans like to point at Lukka and make "ACAB" ("All Cops Are Bastards") jokes about him, but they don't understand that he's explicitly an anti-cop character. Lukka was formerly a cop, but he quit and fully turned his back on the entire concept of policing when he realized that the reason cops exist is not to protect people, but to rid society of undesirables like him.
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"These dragons," Lukka said, his voice a growl. "Those Dragonsguard. They've held power over these people for too long. They've made them fearful of every shadow, every unfamiliar face. What happens when it's not just the Oriq they're hunting down—when it's anyone who practices magic in a way they don't like?"
[Episode 3: Extracurriculars - Adana Washington]
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I know what many of you will say: "How can Lukka have such a based take when he's such a terrible person?" It's true– he is not a good person. He's an asshole and he's harmed / killed innocent people and animals. But he's been both a cop and a homeless man, and he knows that cops are far more dangerous. You don't need to be a "good" person to deserve food and shelter. It's cops who promote the idea that you can deny the basic rights of the people you think are "bad".
So on Arcavios, he's again forced out of civilization and back into the wilderness. His suffering seriously never ends. The way he was treated, it's no wonder he accepted when the Oriq kidnapped him and asked him to help attack Strixhaven. Why should he give a damn about society if they don't care about him? If their society is so fearful of others that they are unwilling to practice compassion, unwilling to provide for people's most basic needs even when they haven't done anything wrong, then doing wrong doesn't matter. They will share his pain. He will watch it all burn to the ground.
Lukka is an example of what happens when someone's basic humanity is repeatedly denied to the point that they can no longer feel anything but anger.
This line from the story Survival of the Fittest, by Roy Graham, expresses it perfectly:
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He had been a cruel man by the end, a villain in so many ways. But perhaps in his position, there was no way to become anything else."
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Lukka reaches out for stability and support and never truly finds it. He's a character who keeps getting punished over and over for having bad things happen *to* him, not because he *does* bad things. Most of the bad stuff he actually does is in response to others treating him like shit for no reason.
Despite everything, Vivien still cared for Lukka and wanted to help him get back on his feet. She thought Lukka's military expertise would be useful to the strike team against New Phyrexia, and she encouraged him to join. They both saw it as an opportunity for Lukka to regain some of his dignity and protect his home once more. How does the narrative reward him for his effort? By corrupting him, humiliating him, and having him be put down like an animal by the only person who showed him any compassion through all this.
What could Lukka have become if he survived to be rehabilitated? I guess we'll never know.
Unfortunately, there is absolutely no hope for a character who mistreats animals. Most fans will never ever get past that, and there's a part of me that honestly believes Lukka just got phyrexianized and killed off because the Magic narrative team realized they couldn't salvage his reputation and didn't know what to do with him. The fandom's overwhelming negative response to Lukka had irreparably damaged him as a character.
As my bespoke friend @xantchaslegacy said, "The only meaningful difference about Lukka and Gideon's cop-to-planeswalker journey is that the narrative let Gideon live long enough for other people to make him a better person. And Lukka got shanked before it could happen."
Again, I don't need people to like Lukka. I just want people to understand. I wish people were more willing to actually engage with the story and see the value in characters they dislike. There's no reason Lukka should've been treated like a punching bag the way he was. He was trapped in a cycle of being dunked on by the story and then dunked on by the fans, again and again. And people continue to push an understanding of Lukka that is just false.
The fandom reacted to Lukka the same way the strangers on Arcavios did: He'll never get a second chance because they wouldn't even give him a first chance.
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