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hood-ex · 12 days

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Finished JJK S2. Many thoughts below.

I'm kinda "hmm" over the parallels in personalities between the Yuji/Megumi/Nobara team and the Satoru/Suguru/Shoko team. Yuji and Gojo as the powerhouses with loud mouths. Megumi and Suguru as the quieter members. Nobara and Shoko as the boisterous don't take shit ones. Like idk I guess I'm just worried about Megumi in this equation and hoping he doesn't pull a Sasuke (or duh Suguru lmao) at some point.

Speaking of Megumi, he was only really involved in about 3 fights total. I missed him in the bigger showdowns with the others. On the other hand, I'm really glad Nobara got to step in and deal some actual damage to Mahito. Like I said before, fuck Mahito, all my homies hate Mahito. I mean, seriously, it felt like Yuji was getting nowhere with Mahito, so when Nobara got that hit in, I was cheering, I was hooting. I was painting "Nobara" on the back of my shirt. What an awesome moment for her.

Sorry I watched basically the entire series today so my brain is burning, my memories feel like soup rn, I'm going out of order when talking about events. Uhhh... oh I'm glad Jogo and Hanami died. I was sick of them. The difference in the fight between Jogo and Sukuna vs. Sukuna and Megumi's thingy. His... what was it called again? Eh whatever you know what I'm talking about. The pact (?) monster Megumi called forth before he went unconscious. The difference in those fights was super interesting. With Jogo, Sukuna was just having fun and not worried at all. With Megumi's thingy, Sukuna actually had to strategize a bit and such. No wonder he has a fascination with Megumi.

Too bad Sukuna killed those sisters but honestly not surprised. I did like how those sisters revived Yuji/Sukuna.

Oh?? And Choso dude?? The sibling reveal?? You have nooo idea how much I didn't want Choso to get killed off at the very end. I was hoping, I was praying, I was like absolutely not, now that I know he's Yuji's older brother, he cannot die. Ever. Everrr. Bc you know me and my thing about siblings. Love em. I was laughing when Choso was telling Yuji to call him older brother, and Yuji was like dude whaaat lmao. Like shhh, Yuji, shhh. Just accept it. You have two brothers now. Aoi and Choso. Lolol.

Speaking of Aoi, I had a moment where I was like, okay, I can get over Nanami's death because he had accepted his death, he was tired, he was ready to go, but I CANNOT accept Aoi's death. Even the thought of him dying made me start to tear up. He's definitely one of my favorite characters now, which is funny, bc I thought he was just annoying in his first appearance. But the fact that he has Yuji and Takada in his locket?? LMAOOO THIS MAN IS SO UNSERIOUS PLS. Sucks he lost a hand, but I'd rather him lose a limb than lose a life. (Fuck me, he's gonna die at some point isn't he? I will literally sob. I'm not kidding, I will sob when/if that happens.)

Oh yeah and Nanami fucks forever and always. He was so hot for wrapping his tie around his hand like that. Ugh. Love him. Gonna miss him. Hope someone reclaims his weapon. I actually didn't cry over him bc, like I said, he was just... ready to go. He was too tired to go on. I could accept that.

Bro did Maki die?? I mean surely if Nanami survived then maybe she did as well...? I hope she didn't die. I liked her.

Owww my brain hurts, I need to get my thoughts out faster. Uhh... ohhh. Oh. When Yuji witnessed Nanami's death on top of Nobara's death (not convinced she's 100% dead though bc of the medic boy being like idk she was dead but maybe she won't be bc of my healing) and on top of seeing what Sukuna had done to Shibuya... holy fuck... talk about a lot of trauma in a short time. Dude when he just gave up after Nobara's death... and he curled up and cried when Aoi appeared... that hurt me. That made me feel like I was in the stadium of the first Pokemon movie watching all the Pokemon cry over Ash's stone body. It felt like that moment. That sadness and grief just overwhelming. Damn. What a good moment though.

I haven't even talked about Satoru yet. Woooow... the way he demolished all those curses at the train station in such a short time... crazy. Sucks he's trapped in a box. Like idk what else to say lmao. Free my man Satoru.

Omg omg omg can I talk about how two of my favorite moments of the whole series ended up in this season?? So the scene where Nobara talked to that girl from Yuji's high school who had a crush on him, and she called Megumi to come meet them, and then Yuji appeared later. Ahhh!! Squee!!! Megumi was sooo cute! And he was super cute in my other fav flashback scene where Nobara spilled coffee or whatever on Satoru's shirt, and Megumi stuffed the shirt under his own shirt to hide it from Satoru. Like lmao he gave himself boobies. PLS HE'S SO CUTE. MY LIL BEANIE BABY. See, this is why I can't have this man go all Sasuke. I need him to stay on the team for cute moments like that.

And speaking of cute Megumi things, I thought it was so cute when he was planning to die, and he replayed the last words he and Yuji said to each other. Something about them like staying safe/meeting up later or whatever. And he was like sorry I broke my word, Yuji. Something akin to that. :3

Holy moly some of the dialogue goes on for way too long during fight scenes and such. Like I know they have to explain all the techniques and details of curses and such, but it makes the fight scenes seem so much longer, and I'm like goddd please just shut up and fight (I'm literally not retaining any of the info they're saying anyway asldkja)!! Also, some of the fight scenes, even without a ton of dialogue, were just ridiculously long. Like did we really need 3-4 episodes of one fight between Yuji and Mahito?? I was like somebody new please come in and kill Mahito ASAP.

LOL the way that I was like "FINALLY, WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN THIS WHOLE TIME?" when Yuta finally arrived at the end, only to be like boooooo when he said he was gonna kill Yuji. Like nooo you two are supposed to be friends, okay. Be friends. Amigos. Pals. Fight side-by-side. Nah but surely Yuta will come around and fight alongside Yuji, right... right...

Wow yeah lots and lots of deaths this season. And now Megumi's sister is awake so okaaay...

Also, that Megumi dad dude was awesome as hell. He was freaking insaaane. I didn't care that he was kicking everyone's ass, I was just like let's goooo!

So anyway if any of y'all are reading the manga, please lemme know if Yuji and Choso retain a stronger bond of sorts or if that doesn't happen at all. Or if Choso straight up dies and they never get the chance for any kind of "hey that scar brain dude helped birth us so we're brothers" talk.

!!! I almost forgot!!! Why was Megumi holding Yuji's hood like this lmao. It was cute. And just. the big pile of bunnies.

#ahhhh need to go back and watch the high school yuji girl part bc it was so cute + the coffee shirt scene #i'm just like eee!! over megumi being all tsundere but he cares about his team he's so cute #jjk #season 2

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nothorses · 9 months

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Different anon, but while I don't disagree with the general idea of your response, imo comparing smoking in public to gay people holding hands in public doesn't make for a good comparison and is taking "let people do their thing" a bit too far. One is actually, verifiably physically harmful to your health, the other is not, so equating them kind of lacks nuance quite a bit. People being inconsiderate of each other in shared spaces is a huge pet peeve of mine, although it does depend on the degree of how much it's a nuisance as well – a whiff of neighbor's smoke from far away is a very different beast than walking through a densely populated city with dozens of people blowing smoke in your literal face that you can't get away from (which is what I encounter daily). That being said, I'm not saying people should aggressively harass any smoker they see, be civil about it of course, and I support the idea of there being more smoking areas that people can use in public (that are actually closed off rather than just a painted bit of sidewalk where the smoke still gets blown everywhere, which is what we have where I live – entirely useless).

Smoking tabacco is in fact bad for your health, and we know this! It is not a good thing to do, generally speaking. Being gay is not bad for your health. Correct ✅

The thing about it, though, is that some people do actually believe that being gay is bad for you. Some people believe, very strongly in fact, that, for example, you will go to hell and suffer forever if you are gay, or if you engage in gayness. For a while, lots of people- even very compassionate "allies"- believed that engaging in gay sex endangered gay people's health via risk of HIV/AIDs.

That doesn't make it objectively true, that being gay is actually bad, but it does mean that "you should let people do whatever they want as long as it's not bad for them" doesn't really hold up as a rule for the extent to which we respect other people's autonomy.

Here's a fun little thought exercise: are there circumstances under which smoking tobacco might be good for someone? Maybe not objectively and ultimately, but if someone quit a much more harmful habit by switching to smoking, I would consider that a good thing. A step in the right direction, even.

What about someone who appears overweight, to you, eating something you believe is unhealthy? What if someone is parenting their kids in a way you believe is harmful- maybe you think they're being too permissive? What if someone is spending money on something you don't think they should be able to afford? What if someone is using a food bank, or panhandling, when you think they appear to be well-off?

We shouldn't hinge our respect for other people's autonomy on how well we think they're using it.

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sailorblossoms · 2 years

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There's much going on in the scene where Simon basically expresses his disinterest in labeling himself (outside of "baz-sexual" lol which sounds funny but that's Simon genuinely communicating something with the vocabulary he has available). I think the funniest thing though is that he's basically like "I don't know shit but let me tell you nothing about my relationship with Agatha can be used to say I'm bisexual, especially not sex". And by funny I mean kinda sad and a bit concerning actually.

On a more serious note, I think it's really interesting to see how Simon reacts to different labels. He never really wonders whether he's bisexual, his struggles with attempting to define identity are entirely centered on his feelings for Baz. He even finds a way to, I kid you not, make female boobs about Baz. Gay and Baz-sexual are the only labels he wrestles with, and even gay is something he considers because Baz is a man. It's also interesting that this doesn't change even when presented with the possibility that bisexuality could be a word that describes his experiences.

I think so much is encapsulated here. First of all, Simon does struggle with internalized homophobia (that hesitation before the whole man and boy exchange), and we see him trying to move past that in the third book (Baz noting he gets off with public displays of affection despite "worrying about looking gay" and how that's probably connected, the "gay at ikea" scene). But I don't think he struggles with internalized biphobia–it's just not even on his radar at all. Simon can be very quick at solving things once he has enough information, and I doubt he needed any time to realize why his boyfriend, who knows he has an ex-girlfriend, might think he's bisexual. And he's put off by the idea. Look at that No being italicized for emphasis. He has such a strong rejection of being labeled as bisexual, and I think this is all about him rejecting the idea of his past relationship with Agatha being understood as romantic love and sexual attraction, even before he finally processes and voices that "it was all just going through the motions, I'm not sure I even felt anything at all".

Worth noting that he's in agreement with Agatha on this. She was there, and in hindsight, she doesn't think the guy was ever into her (a feeling she already manifest when breaking up with him, when she's describing their relationship as feeling non-existent, and still feeling unwanted after being together for 3 years)

She equates this to the way Baz, known homosexual, was never into her either.

Worth noting too that the label conversation is at the beginning of the chapter that has Simon dragging himself kicking and screaming (literally) through the realization that he was never really into Agatha in that way, he just assumed that must be it while they were dating, ignoring anything that indicated otherwise. But Simon really had to be aware of this on some level that he just wasn't acknowledging for him to be able to reach some answers when Baz's questions make him look back. Again, the rejection of seeing his past relationship with Agatha as romantic love/attraction had to be there on a subconscious level for him to have the instinct to be put off by being labeled in this way because of it.

In comparison, he's much more nuanced and complicated about gay as a label. He's not prepared to think about it at the beginning, but it's something he keeps coming back to. He says he's not gay "immediately" here but at the end of the chapter he goes "maybe this makes me gay, or maybe this just makes me yours". And this is all because of his feelings for Baz. He's not ever like "I'm into dudes in general so I reckon that makes me gay". The questioning is always in the line of "the love of my life is a man, does that make me gay?" and he brings up the possibility of only being into Baz more than once... which takes me to Baz going "if he's not gay or bi what does that leave? straight is certainly not an option" and well! It leaves the ace spectrum, for instance, my good guy.

I also think Simon going "I never thought I was straight, I never thought about my sexuality at all" is interesting, because even though it aligns with how he lived for so long not really thinking, part of being allosexual is knowing instinctively when you're experiencing attraction too, and it's an acespec experience to need forever to decide if you're feeling attracted to strangers. And Simon really can't offer examples of him feeling attraction that doesn't involve Baz! In fact, he says it to himself: he has only ever wanted Baz, and he's thinking this in the context of thinking about sex.

In short: everything about Simon rejecting bisexuality is about him rejecting the idea that he felt romantic love/attraction for Agatha, and everything about him wrestling with the gay label is centered on his feelings for Baz.

#sorry fellas i heard someone said agatha and simon were really in love and physically attracted to each other and i have to rant a bit #i'm incapable of saying ´what the fuck' and moving on with my day like a normal person apparently #i have to open my blog like that cow and chicken scene #y'all remember that late 90s cartoon?#like 'Dear Diary you ain't never gonna believe what I am about to write down on yous'#anyway #unlabeled simon rights!#simon snow #baz grimm pitch #snowbaz

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green-loser-lover · 5 months

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Imitation X (au)

Im sure that you guys have heard of theories for different shows? Not the interesting MatPat kind, the horror/bizarre ones that suck the childlike wonder from kids shows? Like the Phineas & Ferb theory or the Rugrats theory (both saying that all the kids are dead except for Candice/Angelica)? Well theres one for PPG called "the imagination theory" and my au is based off of it. (if interested keep reading but it gets long and i dont want clutter)

The imagination theory while interesting doesn't get.. explored often and just gets explained by youtubers some times? If you don't want to read all of it: the girls are normal and just play pretend superhero, the villains are all people from their lives and the Professor is their dad (duh)

I think the entire concept could be expanded on without changing the whole "normal girls thing". Enter imitation X! Basically everything happening is through the girls eyes and equate to something in the real world! Monsters are like shootings/bombings, villains are ordinary people, everything that happens is just them coping with their less than ideal lives. So i want to fit all the characters (main ones at least) into that idea as well as different episodes!

For now though lets start with the girls (this post is too long bezus)

Blossom

In Imitation X her real name is Blaine (meaning yellow.. yk how the prof gives bubbles/blossom names based off of how they act and buttercup just bc it also starts with b? yeah i kinda did that to bloss bc i wanted their named to sound similar oops)

When the girls came up with the game she was the one to make the rules which really just meant she tried her hardest to make up reason after reason for her to be special while her sisters couldn't do half the stuff she could. Eventually she just started having fun with the game and stopped being so controlling. When Buttercup/Bubbles played at first the whole thing was a mess (Butter wanting all gore and Bubbles wanting all cutesy stuff) so she came up with the girls backstory and set a middle ground for them

Shes not smarter than her sisters! I'd say shes more clever/quick to think but shes not like a super genius or anything and shes wrong pleanty. In imitation X Blossom is extremely responsible as always but she can also be selfish and throw the other girls under the bus. Out of the three of them shes the most willing to deal with their real world problems without the game and is the most tethered to reality. Which is how i think she can get away with things she herself did and blame it on buttercup or bubbles!

Buttercup

Her name is Briar (meaning thorny patch/strength or exalted one)

She loves all things superheros(in this au at least), so she was the one to come up with the game HOWEVER it was a totally gritty solo game that she wanted absolutley no one else to take part in.. until she got lonely lol. 1 punching all your villians with no plot gets boring quick. Eventually she asked bubbles to draw her superhero for her (her supersona??) and bubbles wanted to play bc it looked cool. Ofc Buttercup put her through different trials to let her join,, and even then Bubbles became her sidekick at first (which led to squables)

Shes willing to deviate from their game to hang out with her friends who think its lame or whatnot (did i mention theyve been playing since they were five up until theyre 12?) She made the whole game as an escape from the real world so its pretty easy for her to get back into it after a while. Buttercup isn't a hot head in imitation X! She gets angered/annoyed easily but instead of blowing up she. freezes? up? She'll stop talking when shes been angered and isolate herself! Which is why Buttercup (in game) is so violent! Real world Butters cant express herself the way she wants so she uses the game as an outlet. Shes very defensive of her sisters (for reasons that will be revealed later) but at the same time shes very ready to abandon them when they get on her nerves. And i mean abandon, she will leave the house for days!

Bubbles

Last but not least (shes my beloved guys i just never mention it) Blair! (meaning dweller on the plains and is meant to invoke images of meadows/fields.. shes the main character if you didnt notice /j)

When Buttercup told her to draw for her she fell inlove with the idea of being a superhero and was willing to do all the trials and whatnot just to play. She ofc loved being a powerpuff and made the strongest connection with the game.She did get tired of being a sidekick though bc she got to make almost no choices so she came up with monsters and played as them until she got tired of it and started to argue with buttercup about the whole thing. Yeah it def took time for her to become a real superhero duo w/ Butters but when it happened she'd never been happier

Bubbles constantly sees things through the game. No shes not crazy she knows its not happening but she almost never stops pretending. It took a long few years before Blossom got her to stop at school (for the most part). Bubbles goes through the most in the au and therefore she likes to actively cope. Its extremely hard for her to snap into reality and when she does shes really not herself, very muted and disgruntled. It takes her a surprisingly long time to start coping again as well, awareness throws her for a loop and she will make a fuss of it. Shes more of a crybaby and is easily scared in the real world (she tries not to cry in front of others though ofc) people like her but she'd rather stay to herself than be around other people. Bubbles in the game is far more sassy than she is because she wished she did speak her mind and do whatever makes her happy whenever she felt like.

Thats! It! For the girls lol Professor, Mojo Jojo/rrb, or HIM will probably come next because they are all significant in the AU! After them probably the Mayor, Bellum and Sedusa or the GGG! Hope you enjoyed and stick around to read more :3! R&R and have a good day!

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kimberlyannharts · 5 months

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LAST TIME ON RANGER ACADEMY: Sage is fully committing to the high school life, even if there are some obstacles like bullies, hard classes, her friend's tragic backstory, and the discovery of the Chamber of Secrets.

But there's no time to dwell on that, because it's time for the Morphin Trial, where kids are dumped in a hostile landscape to be color-coded by some weird old alien cult. Sounds legit!

It's Ranger Academy #4!

Before we begin let's take another look at that Katie cameo. Sure she doesn't do anything but drive the bus and I still have no fucking idea how these cameos work when they're appearing in-person vs those inter dimensional tubes but it's at least nice to see her

ANYWAY. Time to drop some children off to die

= So some lore stuff established already is the Bandorian Monks reside on the planet "Chromia" specifically in the "Zeo Chamber" in "Prism Peak." It only opens for a limited amount of time once a year. From what I can remember none of this, except the Zeo Chamber I suppose, was in Eltarian War's established lore, but I guess that can be chalked up to Ranger Academy being its own thing. (And for what it's worth, the Zeo Crystal itself is not in the chamber.)

= yes yes guys we get it you want that video game/RPG adaptation

= This is so valid of Theo but unfortunately for him I know what happens to PR characters with his kind of jokey, charismatic personality

= So are they going to be the book's main romance or not. I'm calling upon protection spells against sisterzoning

= NO NONON ONONONONON NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO DON'T DO THIS

= So.....okay. Here it is. Here's the line

So obviously there are colors missing from the Academy and at the very least Theo's dialogue is implying that's on purpose. Which makes me hopeful for my old "Camp Half-Blood" theory that this book will end with more color campuses being added. And obviously, Theo's source isn't telling the whole story or getting facts wrong.

But. Look.

Even if Lindy's dialogue is only saying that Green and Orange Rangers don't exist in the Academy rather than the universe as a whole, the entire concept of certain colors being forbidden or unknown is ridiculous when this is a school that fully encompasses itself in Ranger history. Sage mentioned in a previous issue learning about Jen and why their library is named after her, so their adventures must be part of the curriculum. Even if it isn't, their teachers are Ranger alumni. ONES THAT HAD GREEN RANGERS ON THEIR TEAMS. Their bus driver was KATIE! She can't talk about Trip, her best friend? Crueger never brings up how Green is the third-highest ranking ranger at SPD? I think this wouldn't even annoy me so much if they weren't equating Oranger Rangers (of which there have only been three official ones in the franchise, with others being so-so canon) to Green Rangers (of which there's only been. four seasons, I believe? where there was no Green at all). I know Power Rangers wants Green to be special but it just simply doesn't work because by definition, it isn't.

I think this would only work for me if a) we establish that the present of Ranger Academy is set either extremely far in the past or extremely far in the future, where Rangers either barely exist yet OR it's been so long that the canon we know has been shrouded in legend or b) we didn't have the alumni ranger cameos and we establish this school is completely cut off from the established canon we know. And the last one doesn't work because they clearly want the cameos to be one of the main gimmicks of the series. So idk. It's probably Ranger Academy's biggest headache for me

And just in general I don't know how "forbidden colors" work when the students' color is just chosen based on what the Monks see inside them. It should be unique to them, not based on a criteria that can pick and choose or throw out different options.

ANYWAY. The trio finds Kartyr and Maev and, unsurprisingly, these children are about to die

= what's with Green Rangers having to rescue their rivals that suffer broken ankles. Oops, spoilers

= Sage has only been part of this school for a few months and she's already indoctrinated into their religion

= Kartyr is such a hater for no reason. You should be connecting with your green-haired brethren

= Also I just realized that Kartyr is most likely a Xybrian yet he doesn't follow the naming motif that Trip and the Supersonic Rangers did. I won't hold it against the author as the Supersonic Ranger origin story is pretty obscure but still, it's funny to me.

Though wait if he's a Xybrian shouldn't he know about Trip and how he's a Green R [I am yanked offstage via a giant hook]

= Okay guys I get we're using MMPR theming but are really trying to say Pink Rangers are good pilots? Because what, Kim had flying zords? That's getting a little ridiculous. What's next, Pink Rangers are all amazing archers?

= Maev becoming Yellow was a little surprising since Mathis is already a major character who's yellow, but at the same time I'm really not sure.....what the guidelines are to what color each person becomes. It feels kind of arbitrary at this point tbh. Though maybe it's just because I don't really know Maev as a character yet compared to Theo, who fits the Black Ranger archetype like a glove

and speaking of which

= Lindy not being able to morph genuinely pissed me off like. Again. What are the guidelines here. What about Lindy isn't ranger-worthy. Can I just call the Bandorian Monks racist for denying a Black girl the chance to morph because I think I'll just do that

= SHAME SHAME SHAME SHE HAS THE MARK OF THE DEVIL (her novelty lightning bolt coin turned green, a color that has never existed before this)

#mmpr comic #text #comic recap #RA 4

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haleigh-sloth · 1 year

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I cut this ask into two parts because this top part is....idk. I can't ignore it. So, I'm seeing this topic all around today, not just in my inbox.

I'm honestly a little confused. The manga strongly implies....honestly it goes beyond implications at this point, that Rei was not in agreement with Natsuo and Shouto. I mean....she literally was arguing saying it's not a good idea, and too cruel, and pointing out how Endeavor's plan is affecting the two kids they already have.

Then, when does she agree?

After showing us this terrified look on her face. I could go back and watch how the episode handled it and see if they truly removed that implication from the scene, but actually I won't even refer to the anime for this. Refer to the source material, because she looked fucking terrified and disturbed by her husband in that moment, and next thing we see is two babies, and an exhausted, clearly on the verge of losing her shit Rei.

I do think the terms of consent for the first two are debatable. There is a whole other discussion to be had about Rei's "choice" to accept the marriage proposal. I've seen very decent points made about how it could go either or on the consent train there from the get go.

What I'll say I agree with is that Touya and Fuyumi were not coerced out of her out of fear. They were the result of an arrangement she stepped into (again, consent in this area is debatable and just an entire other discussion that doesn't belong here).

Natsuo and Shouto though--I don't know what else Hori could have done to portray the horrific preceding circumstances to their births, aside from showing more detailed insight into Rei's head, making the manga much, much darker than I think Hori was willing to go. It's not subtle, it's not hard to figure out.

Natuso and Shouto were CLEARLY born into a different atmosphere than the first two. There is just....no debating that.

I do not agree anon. I'm sorry but I don't view the circumstances that preceded Natsuo's and Shouto's births as those of Rei being in agreement. That is, beyond agreeing to maintain her end of the deal. Which still, you can see the difference before her "holding up her end" when Touya and Fuyumi were born and when Natsuo and Shouto were born.

Former child welfare worker (an investigator no less) here in the US--the system here is shit.

I can confidently say without a doubt that, remove all the super power aspects of the Todoroki household from the equation, and you have a case of emotional abuse and neglect that the system would have pretty much no authority over. That is, unless Touya's self-harm was discovered by someone who was willing to report it (and even then, not much the system can or will do about it besides order the family to get MH services), or until Touya's death.

Yeah, idk. It really sucks. And I don't take anybody seriously who has these takes because they clearly have no idea what they're fucking talking about, and that's not my problem.

As someone who works with these situations often, has been involved in the midst of some nasty cases, and is uhh pretty heavily educated and trained in these areas--it's really hard for me to engage with people who just...want to say things to sound smart or trying to make some kind of "gotcha" point. I can't take a lot of takes about Rei seriously--those that demonize her AS WELL AS those that absolve her in the like--I can't listen to a lot of people talk about Touya either. I literally have 0 patience for it.

#tw abuse #todoroki enji #todoroki rei #todoroki touya #dabi #todofam #anonymous #bnha asks

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tokiro07 · 6 months

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Cipher Academy ch.49 thoughts

[What is a "Yout?"]

(Contents: character design, author philosophy, Toshusai analysis)

ONE YEAR DOWN, BABY, THREE TO GO!!! It's been pretty touch and go, and probably will continue to be, but the longer it goes the more likely Cipher Academy is to build up a strong enough following to keep going, so fingers crossed that the volumes keep selling well!

This week's chapter opens with a beautiful color page showing off everyone's color schemes (except the teachers' for some reason) and a quick review of the major codes we've seen so far. Most of the hair colors are pretty standard, Koshibai and Umitsubame notwithstanding, but the biggest surprise for me has to be Dekiai, who I would have bet money was blue, but nope! She's pink! I guess water can be any color if you dye it, I just figured the idea would be for her to look like a melted Kogoe. Maybe they went with pink to obscure that a bit more or because they looked too similar in color?

Speaking of Dekiai, the jury for Toshusai's trial being several Dekiais with different pigtails and beauty marks was a really fun touch, I especially liked the one whose hair popped when she felt scandalized. The fact that the prosecution is named Hakuai and clearly doesn't have any shading suggests that she's all white, so I wonder if perhaps each Dekiai was a different color with a unique name. I'm also curious if they're all just the one Dekiai playing multiple parts, or if they're each their own unique AI. I'm inclined to believe the former, but who knows

Another cute detail, when the Dekiais call for a guilty verdict, their beauty marks turn into spades. Looks like someone read Homestuck

Onto the meat of the chapter, this is really the type of philosophy that Nisio Isin loves to talk about, huh? There was an entire chapter in Medaka Box about how there are no easy or right answers when it comes to ethics, and it could be argued that that was one of the major themes of Medaka Box as a whole. This chapter's suggestion that the concept of a person is a societal construct is certainly novel, and while it does go out of its way to paint Toshusai as the good guy in this scenario, it's also clear that we're not meant to necessarily feel good about it. Her actions freed slaves and toppled an oppressive government: objectively good! Her actions did also create child soldiers and result in half a million deaths: objectively bad. Reducing whether this was a good thing or not to the number of lives "created" and lost leaves...a bad taste in the mouth, I feel. Like, did Toshusai intentionally give weapons to the kids with the intention of creating an uprising? It doesn't sound like it, it sounds like she was asked to create a weapon a child could use, and then it happened to end up in the hands of children who needed liberation

Intention and consequence are only linked via action and otherwise have no bearing on each other; whatever Toshusai wanted to happen when she made the Gun Eye is irrelevant, the fact of the matter is that people died because of a weapon she created, at least that's how she sees it. Even if she did liberate slaves, it's not like she's a revolutionary who carefully planned out how to save them, she was a child who made a toy that was lethal. A weapon's purpose is to kill, a sentiment that I've surprisingly seen crop up a lot in Jump lately, and Toshusai knows that the only outcome that was ever going to come of making the Gun Eyes was that people would die

Of course, how Toshusai sees herself and how everyone else in the story sees her is only part of the equation - the rest is how the fans see her. Is she a liberator or a death dealer? Which is more important, the right to freedom or the right to security? I have my opinions on the matter, but I can't claim that my opinion is the objective correct one or that other readers will feel the same

I'm still endeared to Toshusai and I still like her as a major lead; she did something that helped people, but through a method that she resents, both because there might have been a way to bring about a peaceful resolution and because even if there wasn't, the presence of that method now means that more people are in danger in the long run. Even if the child revolution was a net gain of life and personhood, the Gun Eyes still exist and are still put in the hands of children, and probably not to overthrow their oppressors. Toshusai means to fix that mistake and prevent any further deaths by any means necessary, and that's a goal I can respect

#cipher academy #fouryearsandananime #4y1a reviews

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telvannibugmusk · 1 year

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Hot take but that adult baby article is so annoying and self righteous to me and I don't think I have the words to really explain my thoughts entirely but like. It just has a confused message where "liking funko pops" is equated to like "white nationalist rhetorical self infantilization" and like, self infantilization is something intentional and different from the nebulous concept of "immaturity" that even the article admits is fraught and often loaded with conservative political meaning. There's no one thing that separates the child from the adult, the split between those two categories is a fairly recent ideological shift in history and most adults' interests and thought processes are going to have significant continuity with their childhood selves, it's not a generational thing. Like the idea that we're somehow uniquely self-infantilizing as a generation and it's bad primarily because it's Lame and Cringe misses the actual critique of self-infantilization as a rhetorical tool, which can be harnessed by people who fit all the aesthetic trappings of "maturity" such as owning a house and being married with kids. Which the article mentions but then just like doesn't meaningfully argue against. Idk.

#and it pissed me off that they used ''smooth brained'' as an insult while giving lip service to being against ableism

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acertainmoshke · 10 months

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WIP intro: City of Frost (Cold Iron #2)

This book takes place almost 40 years later, in the early 90’s. At some point Shaka and Kris gave up living in the subway and now live in an old VW bus on the road. Kris has discovered that he kind of likes making friends, and there are more inhuman beings out there than you would expect, though most of them are not Fae. Some humans have turned out to be cool too and now their main network is aging queer punks they met 20 years ago. They’re in their mid-70’s now but Shaka is still physically (and mentally) around 27 while Kris is around 35. That’s enough of a difference that he’s realized he ages faster and is finding an equation about it. He also realized he likes math. Too bad he never got to go to school.

Everything has started to feel pretty repetitive, though. Sure they save the occasional person, but like the heroes they used to read about in comics they stole (incidentally during the Golden Age of comics), they don't change much. Plus they just got to take Cassie on another week of adventures and without her everything seems quiet and depressing. So, Shakatra decides to make a change.

A while back they met another changeling much older than them named Althea, and she became kind of a mentor and a calming influence. Though an excellent fighter she had gotten bored with that and become a bartender in Anchorage. Her pub is also the base for the local branch of the Veil Guard, the human sorcerer army tasked with keeping the Fae out as much as possible.

The army is almost entirely human, but they do seem to make a difference, so Shaka decides to join up. Kris hates the idea--every time they visit the guards treat them like spies--and goes off on his own adventure in the Alaskan countryside. As expected, Shakatra is not welcomed by most. The local general, however, is fairly chill and takes a liking to them and sees their value to the fight. Althea is there, though they are seen as less threatening and mostly ignored while Shaka is outright feared. Shakatra shares their room. Most of the other soldiers live in a nearby barracks--the training yard and briefing/planning rooms are at the pub--but there are a few bedrooms there. In one of them live Jacob Naktan and his son Aaron.

Jacob is like no human Shakatra has ever met before. He doesn't even blink at them, and quite aside from looking horribly inhuman they generally carry a scowl that by this time intimidates most lesser Fae. He is not deterred, just polite at first, and slowly they become friends. They play cards and he invites them drinking with the others and pointedly includes them in socializing. They start going on late-night runs. At first Shaka wonders if this is what Kris was describing as his crushes, but eventually they decide it's just that they've never had a new friend before. He's funny and he thinks they're funny and they go do fun and different things they've never tried like the movies.

And then they meet his son, Aaron, and a lot more starts to make sense. Aaron is an 8-year-old changeling. His mother refused to touch or care for him when she realized her real child had been taken. She spent years bargaining with the Fae to get him back and then left with him when she did. But Jacob renamed Aaron and loved him as few other changelings are loved. Shaka becomes the fun mentor for him. He's a quiet kid but struggles to control his magic, which tends to manifest as fire. He loves seeing what they can do and looks up to them and it helps his self worth.

There's more actual fighting than they expected, too. Admittedly, what the VG thinks is a mounting invasion is mostly just a wild scramble of lesser Fae being opportunistic, but Shaka has no issue forcing them back. There are too many of them here already.

And then the worst happens and it stops being fun and suddenly they're on the run for something they didn't do (for once) with a kid who no longer seems that keen on their advice. They can't even figure out where Kris went, so they're on foot.

It's a weird feeling, wanting to clear their name. But someone is going to have to love this child.

And when they do eventually find Kris, he has some surprising news following an adventure of his own.

#moshke writes #writeblr #cold iron #WIP Intro

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p-antomime · 2 years

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ㅤ𔘓 ─ ##. breeding kink with hanma shūji!

𖦹 content: (slight hard) dom!hanma, breeding kink, nick names, mention of impregnation, edging, orgasm denial, hints of voice kink, unprotected sex, fingering, mention of pornography.

𖦹 pairings: bf!hanma shūji x f!reader.

ᥫ᭡. request. | tokyo rev. masterlist! | taglist!

kinda inspired by: this.

Uh-uh.

Hanma Shuuji.

also known as the guy who is more afraid of getting a girl pregnant than death.

don't misunderstand, Hanma wants to have kids, wants to be a father, but he doesn't think he can reconcile his kind of dirty work with this responsibility that is taking care of a child, especially because he’d want to try to be a present dad

he's a little bit disturbed in the head, but he's not stupid or dumb; they are different things

that being said...

Hanma would have thought more than once about fucking you raw, without a condom, neither female nor male

but.

remember the fear of getting you pregnant? mhm, come in here again

(yes, Hanma genuinely forgot that there are other means of protection.)

and forgetting doesn't equate to not knowing.

it's just that...

there was one day that Hanma had nothing to do during an exchange of mafia meetings with Kisaki and some guys that, honestly, he didn't care about

obviously, who takes care of the bureaucratic and "boring" part of running a criminal organization is Kisaki, who gets the fun part of breaking noses and bones and going home with bloody knuckles is Hanma

but, back to the point.

on this particular day, Hanma found his fun in:

watching pornography because, see, he liked to try new things, but sometimes his mind would run out of many ideas

on those few occasions, he would turn to Pornhub or [insert any site that gives easy access to pornography here].

and i warn you: it's hard to find any videos that Hanma genuinely likes because his taste is kind of refined.

for example, if it's that mediocre porn where the man barely touches the woman and she's already moaning like a whore in heat, Hanma almost throws up and moves on to the next one

it's not just anything that entertains and, even more, excites him, he is not a teenager with his hormones in full bloom.

but this particular video found after almost twenty minutes of searching made him feel like one.

the scenario, honestly, was nothing special and the script was quite simple: just a boyfriend wanting for the first time to have sex without a condom with his girlfriend...

but what held Hanma's attention in the story initially were the lines, which were even very good.

Hanma likes the details.

towards the end of the video – which was even a bit long, about 45 minutes – Hanma was obsessively watching the way the actor's cock entered the girl and came out with a white ring of cum at the base of it

he was deliberately cumming inside her.

deep down, nice, holding her legs open so that the viewer could see very well what was happening in front of the camera.

and the guy's line nailed a thing in Hanma's mind that seemed to click into something primal that he didn't know he had until he watched that video

"Gonna breed you 'til your lil', pretty pussy can no longer hold it all inside"

Hanma's entire body's blood had concentrated between his legs and he barely noticed that his cheeks had flushed and he himself was biting his lower lip as soon as the actor finished cumming inside the girl and you could even see the fillets of cum running down his cock

Great, Hanma now had a boner in the middle of the day

and just then Kisaki entered the room unannounced, looking for Hanma, who desperately blocked the cell phone screen, his cheeks still flushed.

being caught by your boss watching pornography is not the best thing to do...

even if theoretically they had more of a companionship relation after years of knowing each other than exactly boss-employee

but, anyway, Hanma had that video in his head for the rest of the week and every time he came home to be greeted in your arms or with a little note that you had left on the coffee table in the living room before you went out with your friends, his brain would almost combust just remembering that particular video

until Saturday night came and he felt as if his mind was going to explode if he couldn't breed you from that night on.

His hand, Punishment, placed itself on your chin forcing you to look at him just after his other fingers came out of your tight pussy after they had spent long, long minutes just edging you and denying your orgasm.

Just like the porn actor he had seen had done.

But your moans were better, more audible, more intoxicating, almost like a divine melody reaching his ears and infecting his brain like a blessing even though sin was tattooed on his skin.

— Han-ahn! — You tried to call out to him to start asking him to let you cum, the knot in the pit of your tummy seemed to be getting harder and harder to control as it also seemed extremely suffocating.

But before you could effectively say anything but the beginning of his resounding name coupled with a humiliating moan, his hands were gripping your knees and pressing them against your breasts. And you looked at him confused, it wasn't common for Hanma to want to fuck you in mating press, he preferred doggy or cowgirl.

However, today was an atypical day, a day when Hanma Shuuji was not in perfect mental state and needed to satiate his own primitive urges.

— What about me fucking you raw today, pretty girl? — He asked, raising one eyebrows suggestively before leaning down and putting his face over yours with little distance between them, your breath hitching against his cocky smile and reflecting your need to cum. — I've been thinking about... — You interrupted him with a loud whimper as you felt his shaft pass between your sensitized folds slowly and rub against your swollen clit in the process. — Breeding you, sounds good, hm?

A shiver ran down your back slowly, especially because of the low, almost husky tone Hanma used to confess his lewd fantasies and shame burned within your cheeks without necessarily showing it explicitly. But he knew how you were feeling, he knows you too well not to premeditate your pretty or timid reactions.

— Say you want it, princess. — The same hand from before hooked itself around your chin to slip its thumb between your saliva-wet lips and you sucked that finger slowly, still feeling Hanma's dick teasing your folds. — Say that you want me to fill you to the brim, to fuck my cum deep inside you ‘til you feel full, say it. — He let out a soft grunt as he saw you moan against his thumb.

His pupils dilated as if you were a drug worth being obsessed and addicted to.

— I want it, Hanma! — Your voice came out slurred, the need to cum consuming you completely. — Wanna your cum deep inside me, plea-mhm!

Your back arched painfully as Hanma slammed into you hard, invading you without warning and forcing your warm, gummy walls to widen to accommodate his long cock. But more than that: you also cummed without warning. With loud moans, eyes rolling back and pussy clenching around your man as if you didn't want to let him go ever again.

Yes, Hanma had edged you to the point that any minimal external stimulus would make you cum.

What a sin to have his cock ready to breed you to be that minimal external stimulus.

And then he began to fuck you through your orgasm hard, the moans from the two of you in unison forming a symphony he loved to hear, the sound of skin on skin denouncing the lewd actions of you both to the neighbors and the wet one coming from between your legs as he moved in and out of your pussy making you need to cum again so suddenly it almost scared you.

His glistening eyes locking on yours and his hair sticking to his forehead from sweat. Hanma looked beautiful, almost angelic for someone fucking you like a beast who only thought about breeding you.

But in his mind you were going to be even more beautiful with his cum dripping out of your tight little pussy; maybe you'd better get ready to become his cumdumpster because he'd easily become obsessed with cumming only inside you.

ㅤ🏷 tagging: @festive @wakaslut @strawberrysanzu @bontensucker @wakasa-wifey @dukina @manjiroscum @inu1gf @keisaint @ravenina14 @saaraunicorn @ranilingus @dokidokimanji @mizurimirai @sleepy3 @kuroaka @slut4manjiro @zuuki @qudvxnkanx @manjirosdoll @hirwishin @izanaswifey .

#tokyo revengers smut #hanma smut #hanma shuji x reader #hanma shuuji smut #tokyo rev x reader #hanma x y/n #hanma shuuji x reader #hanma hcs #tw.breeding kink

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thatnerdyfangirlcat · 2 years

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Imma talk about Sylki *Loki Spoilers* *No Way Home Spoilers* *TW: selfcest and mention of incest*

It seems the Sylki discourse has returned due to a certain recently released movie, and uh...I'm kinda mad.

So, first things first, we live in a world where having any kind of relationship with an alternate version of yourself is most likely impossible. Meaning "selfcest"...isn't a real thing. Why are people getting so angry about it when it has no basis in reality? My argument here makes me a bit of a hypocrite, I suppose, cause I still have a big problem with Steve's time travel thing in Endgame, which also has no basis in reality, but I'm gonna keep going.

Firstly, I would like to point out that I have yet to see or hear of someone that makes the "selfcest" claim without also being a Lokius shipper, which...is kind of a problem for me? I get it, I shipped Loki and Mobius at first, up until Sylvie was introduced and I saw the romantic tension and the possibility for huge character growth for both parties, especially Loki. And it's fine to not agree with ships, and even discuss why you think certain ships don't work as well as others. But do you really have to villainize the shippers that are just trying to enjoy a piece of media? Just because your ship didn't become canon? Not to mention hating on the creators and even the actors that are working very hard to bring you a long-awaited and requested story, only for you to turn around and say "This doesn't live up to my very specific standards, therefore it is Bad." Shipping inspires discourse. I get it. But come on, at some point you gotta grow up a little and just move on when something doesn't go your way.

Next, I'd like to address something a little more sensitive. Something that bothers me quite a bit. In villainizing this (fictional) idea of selfcest, and using specifically that word, it kind of...compares selfcest to actual incest? This may not be the intention, but that's what it seems like to me. Which is kind of an issue for me, because people are taking this entirely fictional concept and equating it to a very real concept that is...not good. In doing so, though, it actually takes away from the seriousness of the actual real concept, which is probably not really a good thing. I may be the only person that feels this way, but...yeah.

Now for the No Way Home spoilers.

So, the three Peter Parkers are now considered brothers. But wait, I thought we established that Variants could have romantic feelings for each other? And now the feelings are familial? This doesn't make sense! Well guess what, different types of relationships exist. Not everyone will have the same feelings in the same situation. I mean, we saw it in Loki. Kid Loki and Gator Loki have a found family/best friend/pet relationship (and are, btw, of entirely different species), Boastful Loki has a purely self-serving relationship with all the other Loki Variants, President Loki has an authoratative relationship with some of the other Variants. It should also be noted that in declaring brotherhood, the Peters recognize that they are not, in fact, the same person. You wouldn't say that identical twins are the same person, would you? So if Loki and Sylvie are not, in fact, the same person in any way, shape, or form, genetically, physiologically, mentally or emotionally, except for their alleged place in the universe, why shouldn't they be allowed to have romantic feelings for each other?

I am personally quite fond of the whole self-love thing they've going on here, and the direct metaphor is kinda hilarious. Through Sylvie, Loki can finally understand how he actually affects those that care about him. In accepting Sylvie and all the other Loki Variants, he can finally accept himself and grow into the best version of himself.

Just be kind to each other about shipping. We're all just here to find pieces of ourselves in fiction, right? Maybe to escape this hell of a reality we live in? Might as well make it a comforting place to escape to.

#pro sylki #sylki #sylvie #sylvie laufeydottir #loki spoilers #loki #loki laufeyson #kid loki #boastful loki #gator loki #no way home spoilers #nwh spoilers #no way home #nwh #spiderbros #andrew garfield #tobey maguire #sylki discourse #spider-man

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mewtonian-physics · 2 years

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Please use this to go in detail abt why you think Raiden is one of most decent and kindest of the mgs characters I need to hear from the foremost Raiden Expert(tm)

okay so first of all i'm going to print this ask and put it on my wall like a doctoral certificate, anon-certified Foremost Raiden Expert(tm) /joke but i am quite flattered by this description.

now to what you came for. i shall go into detail on this subject and i shall do it by going through his entire canon timeline. let's fucking go. reminder that this is going to get into in-depth descriptions of all the fucked up parts of raiden's storyline (of which there are many) so read with caution. if you want mood music then just put this video on loop and you're good to go

so obviously we don't know anything about what raiden was like when he was very very young before solidus got to him. presumably he was a sweet kid though. i mean he was probably like five or six when everything started going to hell. that's around the time that most kids learn to read. (although personally i hc him as getting an early start on that because the other likely option is too depressing. he's got enough going on already.) my point is i bet he was a good kid. of course then solidus happened, and we all know how that went. if anyone blames raiden for what happened at that point then they can fucking fight me, he was a scared little kid who was horribly abused, kept drugged, and probably full-on brainwashed into fighting a war that had nothing to do with him because otherwise he would die. that has absolutely no bearing on his personality except as a contrast which we will get into later. moving along to the next part of his life that we know.

so he repressed his memories of the war (with 'help' from the patriots) and tried (largely unsuccessfully) to live a normal life. we know even at that point that his view of himself was fucked up, and he was having nightmares constantly enough that he had at least vague memories, although he didn't understand them. (yet.) and yet he knows enough to hate his own past and want to keep it a secret, because even if he doesn't understand it, he knows it's awful. keep that in mind. once he was presumably deprogrammed from solidus's bullshit, he regretted and hated everything he did, and himself for doing it (even though it was not his fault in the slightest). despite everything, he becomes a very different person with a much more fully formed moral compass. rose describes him quite unflatteringly at this point in his life but let's be real. it's rose. can't take a word she says at face value unless it's backed up by someone who doesn't spend practically all of their screen time lying through their teeth. also does 'horribly cold' with a 'violent nature' and an 'empty heart' actually sound that much like raiden to you? because if it does then stay tuned, it won't by the end of this post (and if it still does then you weren't paying attention, go back and read it again)

so we reach mgs2. at this point raiden is probably around 26 years old and doesn't remember half of his life, which really does a number on your mental stability and sense of identity. keep in mind also that he did not get the opportunity to mentally and emotionally develop in the same way as the average individual, on account of, you know, being brainwashed into a remorseless killer. he had to relearn (or learn for the first time) a lot of concepts including things that most of us take as a given (the very idea of right and wrong, which certainly wouldn't have been a luxury afforded to him during the war.) some quick equations suggest that he was fourteen at the end of the war, so he's had twelve years to learn all this instead of twenty-six. (with that in mind, he's doing remarkably well.)

(note here please that i do not count optional things that the player can do towards characterization. cutscenes or it didn't happen. that's an exaggeration, but you get my point. i'm not about to claim raiden is some kind of weird sadist who enjoys killing seagulls and will cheerfully shoot snake while he's sleeping. that would be fucked up and also blatantly in contradiction of actual canon characterization.)

right off the bat he immediately displays concern for rose's wellbeing considering that she's an analyst being suddenly involved in an extremely intense field mission. actually, a lot of his interactions with her throughout the game are further evidence in his favor--he can't even bring himself to tell her that she can't cook! (maybe a bit too nice for his own good.)

he also has a memorable conversation with snake (in his disguise as pliskin) in which he displays horror at how 'pliskin' utterly brushes off the deaths of his 'friends'. he feels sadness at the loss of these men he's literally never interacted with, and is shocked that their supposed friend doesn't. this is pretty typical of him moving forward.

he even displays genuine concern for president johnson, including after what the bastard did to him. (definitely too nice for his own good.) i could get further into this scene but i don't want to talk about it. fuckin' hate it here.

next, emma. this one is a hallmark moment in terms of him being kind. it stands out. emma is terrified of water, and he needs to get her through flooded corridors in order to try and stop arsenal gear. he could be a complete asshole here and do something like knock her out and take her then, or get mad at her and tell her to get over it (which... i'm going to be real... sounds a lot more like something snake might do). but he doesn't. he's incredibly patient with her and helps calm her down and even comes up with a way to help minimize her fear so that she can get through it without even having to look at the water. he even listens to her talk about her childhood and attempts to empathize with her despite the fact that he can't even remember his own. it's a really sweet moment from him and it cannot be overlooked.

continuing on. he immediately forgives snake for turning on him (even though it could have gotten him killed) and tells olga that no one can blame her for doing horrible things while trying to protect her child. he seems truly upset at her later death. and he still worries about rose even after he finds out she's been lying to him and using him for the past two years. and he immediately volunteers to help snake and otacon again at the end of the game--if snake hadn't flat-out refused him, he might have stuck with them for quite a while.

all in all, mgs2 paints us a picture of a deeply troubled man who still shows genuine kindness and concern for the people around him, even those who hurt him, and in incredibly stressful situations on top of that. and it just keeps going!

now, we don't have a whole lot of info on what happened to him between mgs2 and mgs4 (and most of what we do have comes from rose, who, again, is the very definition of an unreliable source.) what we do know for certain, however, paints another very flattering picture.

i do fully believe that his mental health spiraled after mgs2. how could it not, after all the shit he went through? he had years of horrific trauma shoved in his face and then went through some more incredibly traumatic events on top of that. and then rose lies about having a miscarriage. for any excited future parent, but especially for someone who loves kids as much as raiden clearly does, this would have been yet another level of pure devastation. and yet in the middle of all this, what does he do? he goes to repay the woman who saved his life, takes on an incredibly dangerous mission going up against the people who used him like a pawn for years and dehumanized him to hell and back (one that snake had even said he'd handle himself) and rescues sunny. when his health starts to get worse, he leaves her with people he trusts.

and then he gets forcibly converted into a cyborg, an act which would play into his deepest fears about himself. it would have been completely understandable at this point if he'd just given up entirely; after all the horror he's been through, it's a miracle that he's even alive, much less fighting. but no. instead he turns the patriots' own actions against them and goes to protect snake.

it is important to consider that many of his actions during this game are also driven by his intense depression, ptsd, and self-hatred, along with the other plethora of mental health issues that come part and parcel with everything he's been through. but at the same time, it's impossible to deny that his actions show a genuine care for others. he doesn't have to. no one would blame him if he didn't. but he's still willing to sacrifice everything and suffer horrible pain in order to protect everyone. even when he's scared. even when it would certainly kill him in a horrific way.

also, i can't ignore the fact that he thinks of sunny and how much she cares about him on shadow moses island. he apologizes to her before cutting his own arm off. he's thinking about how upset she'd be to see him hurt. there are a thousand other things he could be thinking about, but he thinks about her, and feels guilty for doing something that will hurt her, too. (they are siblings, your honor.)

the ending of the game is another example of him being too nice for his own good because really after two games of being lied to and manipulated by rose no one would blame him for cutting her out of his life. but he doesn't. he forgives her, again. and let's not forget the love and care with which he treats his son even though they've never met before. (raiden dad of the year award. dad of the ever, actually.)

now for the most controversial part. revengeance.

this is about the point where a concerning number of people start characterizing raiden as this trigger-happy sadomasochistic lunatic who just wants to slaughter everything in his path. either that, or they're saying he has a split personality who is a trigger-happy sadomasochistic lunatic who just wants to slaughter everything in his path, which is even worse, because it's bullshit AND it's playing into harmful and completely inaccurate stereotypes. let's not do that. and also characterization-wise it's just plain wrong. (but my essay on the true nature of raiden's fragmented identity can wait for another day.)

but i counter this errant belief with the argument that in fact, revengeance is perhaps the biggest example as to why raiden is one of the most moral and kindhearted characters in the series.

from the beginning, we find out that he's taken a job with a pmc to provide for his family. not exactly his dream environment. he's trying to keep it as combat-free as possible ('one sword keeps another in the sheath') but obviously that doesn't work out so well for him.

(as a side note, the serial markings on his body in the prologue are the only ones that don't majorly piss me off. they have the numbers, but then they say 'protector'. and i know they aren't actually referring to him as a person, but... damn right he is. he's earned that label, 100%.)

people act like he totally snaps after n'mani is killed, but that's just not true. his mental health does start to spiral somewhat, but it mostly manifests in him mimicking society's dehumanization of both hostile cyborgs and himself. (he starts slipping back into treating himself as a weapon. never a good sign with him.) he's angry, but he's just as angry with himself as he is with desperado, and he isn't intentionally targeting them; it's pure coincidence that they're involved in abkhazia, and the same in guadalajara. (and by coincidence, i mean the plot sort of demands it.)

guadalajara is where things really start to go downhill, and for obvious reasons. (another side note, the fact that he had blade wolf reconstructed and freed from his restraints? seems pretty kind, don't you think? he definitely didn't need to, but he did anyway. he knows what it's like to want to be free.)

meeting george is where things get bad for him, and also where his sense of morality and care for others starts showing through. he immediately runs in to save george without checking the area at all, which results in combat with way tougher UGs than a couple of dwarf gekkos. when he talks to george afterwards, his demeanor completely changes--he starts using different speech patterns, his voice is softer, and he's genuinely concerned for george's wellbeing. he only gets intense again when he hears about the lab, after which he immediately heads for it as quickly as possible.

(the pure horror on his face when he sees the room with all the brains will live with me forever, i think.)

when he sees the kids in danger, he actually briefly panics. this isn't something we see from him very often at this point--he didn't even panic after getting completely mutilated during his fight with sam. and then when that scientist shows up with george, he's torn, up until george specifically says to kill the scientist and not worry about him. even then, raiden asks if he's absolutely sure before he makes a move.

we find out after the fact that he wasn't even thinking clearly during that scene; he was so furious that he couldn't think about anything except how much he wanted the scientist dead, according to him. except that isn't really true. he was clearly thinking about more than that, or he wouldn't have asked george if he was certain. and after killing the scientist, he immediately rushes to save george, and succeeds not only in doing so but in retrieving the other half of his body as well. despite painting himself as slipping back into his 'ripper' tendencies, he shows clear remorse for the outcome, even as george is absolutely delighted with it.

raiden then quits maverick so that they don't get dragged into his next actions, because this is where he starts actively breaking the law ('just because it's legal doesn't mean it's right'--moral compass as steady as ever!) and they don't need to be involved in it. even now he still hasn't 'snapped'. despite the denver police being horribly corrupt and working for desperado, he struggles with the idea of killing them after sam starts messing with his mind. they're literally trying to kill him, and he can barely bring himself to fight back. the amount of decency he shows to people who don't deserve it in the slightest is amazing. (it's also dead wrong and totally misguided, but i'm still impressed.)

and then we get to the part where i suppose you could say he 'snaps'. sam and monsoon push him to the breaking point (like idiots) and he gives up on himself. he slips back into the persona solidus created for him, and slaughters monsoon's lackeys along with the man himself.

this is the point where i want to bring back what i said earlier about contrast. as a child, he was trained to kill indiscriminately. no concern, no moral compass, just killing whoever he was told to kill. i've said it before, and i'll say it again--this is a villain origin story. after the amount of horror he's gone through in his life, his fight with monsoon is where you would expect him to really, truly snap and become the person solidus brainwashed him into being.

but he doesn't.

he takes great delight in killing monsoon, that's true. but despite the horror he feels at his own actions, he's completely wrong. he hasn't truly become the 'jack the ripper' that solidus created. on the surface, yes--but look deeper. look at the way he says 'no' right before it all happens. look at the way he specifically says 'i don't want this for anyone else' after the fight. look at how he still focuses on his original goal, he doesn't lose sight of it. he's not in this for the sake of killing. he's in this for the sake of protecting the weak, the innocent children that no one else will. throughout the entire game, he never loses sight of his ultimate goal: to protect the weak, and uphold the ideal of justice. all he does is accept that there is still a part of him that enjoys fighting and killing, and then channels that for good. he lets himself be furious at the monsters who are doing these awful things. he hasn't 'snapped' at all. he's just finally letting himself feel the things he's been repressing for so many years. he doesn't kill indiscriminately. he kills those who are preying on the weak.

despite the title, the game is less about revenge than you might think. it's about protection. ultimately, the things raiden does in this game are to prevent atrocities and save the people who can't save themselves. and if he gets a little enjoyment out of it, hey. that doesn't change the fact that he's still the undeniable hero of the story. he's still a decent, moral, kind person. he's just stopped extending that to monsters. and good for him, i say.

also, i have to bring up sunny while i'm talking about revengeance. i can't put into words how amazing the scene with her is, but the sheer amount of genuine affection between her and raiden is incredible.

and as a final note of evidence, remember her last available codec call? even in the midst of being beaten to hell and back, raiden shows compassion for so many people, and very specifically reassures her, trying to make her feel better and keep her from worrying about him. 'come on. let me see a smile.'

#ask #anon #i could write a lot more on this probably but it's 2 am and i think i got the major points down. god i love raiden #snake who. raiden is the hero of metal gear solid

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guardianspirits13 · 3 years

Text

I wanna talk about Natsuo Todoroki for a second here.

tw// mentions of abuse, self harm, and suicide

Natsuo visibly has the most emotional trauma out of anyone else in his family (Touya not included), and I really wanna talk about why that is.

For starters, we haven't seen him really smile since he was introduced in chapter 187. He's introduced as having a friendly, easygoing persona and it's easy to imagine this is how most people outside of his family know him. However, every time we see him appear since then, another layer of his trauma is revealed and expanded upon, and it cuts DEEP.

I think the main reason that Natsuo still seems so vulnerable compared to the rest of his family is different than what you'd assume. Fuyumi and Shouto both spend a lot of time around Endeavor, and have been in close proximity to his (relatively recent) decision to atone. They have seen his growth firsthand and come to terms with it. Rei has obviously taken a very different path to healing- not entirely voluntarily- but she has been working with doctors and therapists for years to change and recover and reconnect with herself and her children. Natsuo is off at college, and takes every opportunity he can to avoid Endeavor. He (understandably) wants nothing to do with him, and shows stagnant resistance to his attempts to atone.

The reason why Natsuo can't move on from the past is because his trauma didn't come from Endeavor. It came from Touya.

Now initially we were led to believe that it was simply Touya's untimely death that still bothers Natsuo, and it makes sense seeing how Endeavor drove him to the edge. Losing his best friend and brother as a young kid without parents to support him or any therapist to speak of can absolutely been the source of persistent emotional damage, but the more and more we learn about Touya's situation, the more evident it becomes that Natsuo's trauma is much much deeper than even grief.

Touya, as we know, was driven by an ambition instilled in him by his father and experienced extreme rejection sensitivity when those ambitions were no longer realistic. Touya's relationship with his parents could be described as insecure attachment, a psychological term primarily regarding how kids react and respond to their parents and other close relationships. As he was raised, Touya learned to equate his potential to be a hero with his personal worth and similarly confounded attention with love. The difference being, of course, that love is unconditional, but even attention was being continually directed away from him as a punishment for continuing to train and burn himself so he could once again become worthy in his fathers' eyes.

This is where Natsuo comes in. At first it was assumed that all of the Todoroki children were born out of Endeavor's strong-willed desire to have a child that could surpass All Might, but we learned that this isn't exactly the case. I'd argue that it was narratively poetic on Horikoshi's part once this was expanded upon. Fuyumi was born to support and encourage her brother, and that is the exact role she plays 23 years later, keeping her family together.

Natsuo's case is even more intersting.

It was bad enough if Natsuo was only born for the potential of his quirk, but it's even more sinister that the sole intent behind his birth was to discourage Touya from his ambitions. I'd say it was to replace him, but it was more to promote the idea that Touya was expendable than to raise aonther kid with the same ideals but the potential to actually achieve it, although that was definitely a secondary motivation.

The parallelism in this is how much Natsuo's life revolves around Touya. He was born because of Touya, he looked up to and took care of Touya as a kid, and the absence of Touya in the present continues to drive him and his decisions in life (but more on that later).

I continue to pray that we will eventually get more solid backstory on Natsuo and Touya's relationship as kids and where it cut off, wether on a bad note or not, but there are a few things we know for certain. One, Touya was mentally ill. Yes, he was rejected by his parents but he seems to have been particularly vulnerable to this compared to any of his siblings since he was the first of them and thus relied only on his parents for validation in his early years. He shows early signs of a variety of different mental disorders, particularly BPD, which I have previously written a whole analysis for on its own. Touya is shown self-harming both by the very nature of his quirk and even by very directly ripping his hair out. He was incredibly self-destructive.

This is why it is so much more concerning to me that Natsuo, who was AT LEAST four years younger than him, was his primary source of comfort. Natsuo was too young to have known anything more than 'my big brother is sad that daddy won't train him anymore' and he obviously wasn't equipped in any way to handle Touya's severe mental illness. Touya most definitely needed professional treaatment as his forms of coping were abnormal even for the neglect and rejection that he experienced. Natsuo comforted Touya through breakdown after breakdown, and more than that Touya relied on him and came to him voluntarily for support. Natsuo was the best option he had, and he took full advantage of that. The main source of Natsuo's trauma was Touya's reliance on him.

Not to say at all that this was in any way Touya's fault- he was mentally ill and desperately in need of some form of comfort to keep him sane; it was almost a survival method at this point since neither of his parents really acknowleged him at all anymore. Touya's instability hurt Natsuo more than parental neglect ever did, but it was the neglect that enabled it and striped Touya of the supportive atmosphere he would have needed at this point not only to prevent but to heal from the mental damage he had already suffered.

Natsuo dealt with this for years and you can see how much it hurt him to see Touya in so much pain, not only from Endeavor's rejection but from his own self harm as well. For Natuso to know that his brotherly love would never be the same as having loving parents; would neve be enough- but at least it was something so he continued to love and care about his brother for little in return- is indicative of the kind of character he is.

(Edit: After the events of chapter 302 we know that Natsuo's relationship with Touya wasn't perfect. I will elaborate more on this in a different post, but I just wanted to clarify that although we were shown a very high-tension scene between them, it is implied that this was a regular occurrence that Natsuo was usually more receptive too but tired out of, in addition to Touya's spiraling mental health. It fit with the natrative to show the tension Touya was feeling with his family from all directions, but Natsu and Touya clearly had a stronger relationship up to and before this point, evidenced by their sharing a room and playing together regularly.)

He is incredibly selfless, and it's interesting to note how many of his positive qualities as an adult stem from negative experiences as a kid. He never really felt love from his parents, so he relied on Touya (and likely also Fuyumi) for that as well. If he grew up learning he had to give love in order to recieve it back, it absolutely influenced who he became in the future, a solid example of this being the responsibility he feels to reach out and have a relationship with Shouto and further regrets that he wasn't able to help his abuse in the past either. Another aspect of his character that intruigues me is how gentle he is. Personality-wise he seems about as opposite as he could be from the awkward, stoic, emotionally-stunted person that is Endeavor.

There are a couple of reasons for this, beyond what I've already discussed.

One, he had little to no contact with elements of toxic masculinity growing up, especially not from Endeavor.

Two, most of the influence he did have growing up was from Fuyumi, who is established to have endlessly cared for him since he was a literal baby.

Three, he grew up in a household where almost everyone around him was in much more literal, immediate pain than he was so he developed a very strong sense of empathy that might also have been tied to early survivor's guilt.

Now I have one important distinction to make, and that's the temptation to label him as a 'softboy' or something of the like after seeing him caring for his family and more pointedly, watching him break down in tears during chapter 252. While there is absolutely nothing wrong with men being soft or vulnerable (on the contrary it's actually so so important and relevant that Hori is writing characters like this in a mainstream shounen manga but that's an essay for another time), it is unfair to label him as such based on a moment when his trauma is being exposed.

Because his truama stems from such a young age, there is a blurry line between just being born with more emotional intelligence and the situation he was in fostering those traits. You know, the classic nature/nurture thing. My point being, it's important to tread carefully when discussing the nature of his personality to avoid invalidating his trauma; I have no doubt that he is very strong for having survived these things, and the moments we see of him onscreen are definitely among his most vulnerable.

Another thing that people less familiar with Natsuo's character might assume is that he is hot-headed and argumentative. I thought that at first too- after all, he doesn't seem to shy away from yelling at Endeavor when given the opportunity. However, this doesn't seem to be the case at all.

The first real scene we see him in with Endeavor, the man walks into the room and Natsuo decides he can't handle it and goes to leave. However, Endeavor happens to be blocking the doorway. Endeavor physically stops him and provokes him to his face, asking him to say whatever is on him mind. While Natsuo is notably not confrontational, Endeavor is. I think it's fair to say that he felt at least uneasy at this gesture. Natsuo is very honest with his feelings, and it's obvious that he's pissed at the audacity of Endeavor to be so oblivious to his own son. This is presumably one of the first real interactions they've ever really had, and at this point Natsuo has been dealing with trauma (caused by Endeavor!) on his own for years, and Endeavor seems completely oblivious to his pain and dismmisive to the rest of the family's as well.

Again during the internship arc Natsuo tries to get along with Endeavor and this time he actually gives it a fleeting chance. Tensions are high, however, and the conversation very quickly becomes uncomfortable, at which point he leaves. It is continually implied that Natsuo is uncomfortable being around Endeavor because his very presence brings up painful thoughts and memories of a time when sharing the same space as him was a warning to run and hide. This is later directly confirmed by Natsuo as he says that every time he looks at Endeavor's face he remembers Touya and the pain he was in.

I feel like an important side note is that we have never seen Natsuo outside the context of his family, which is understandable, as the role he plays in the story directly relates to them. However, if you take a look at Shouto, even though his experiences have shaped him to become who he is, he definitely acts differently when Endeavor's not in the vicinity.

Back to Touya's death, it would be very rare that someone would mourn a death for an entire decade without finding closure unless there are other factors preventing it, and uncomfortably this seems to be the same thing for both Natsuo and Endeavor: guilt.

This is getting incredibly long already, but it's important to note that Natsuo probably felt an incredible responsibility to take care of Touya and protect him because of his empathetic nature. His love was never going to be the same as having loving parents. His encouragement was never going to be the same as having support from Endeavor. Even further than then neglect and abandonement, it was not being able to save Touya that really made Natsuo feel worthless.

He seems to try and remedy this inability to save Touya and diminish his guilt by doing everything he can to be better. He reaches out to Shouto to be a better brother, he consistently pushes his limits to entertain Fuyumi's notion of a happy family, and he's working hard towards a degree rhat will allow him to help people like Touya (and Rei) because he failed to do so in the past.

His bio mildly implies that he didn't have much of a direction he was heading in after high school, but Fuyumi's encouragement led him to seek out his current college career. This goes back to Natsuo's 'purpose' in a sense revolving arount Touya, from his birth to his relationship with him to his death, after which he lost his direction. They were always rather inseperable, so naturally their seperation hit Natsuo hard. He lost his direction in life so when Fuyumi encouraged him to rediscover it, he thought of helping people, because that's ultimately what he was born to do.

Thank you so, so much for reading this if you made it to the end! I clearly have a lot of thoughts on this. Let me know what you think about it as well, and hopefully we'll get more info on this soon in the manga :)

#bnha 203 #bnha spoilers #long post #natsuo todoroki #todoroki natsuo #bnha meta #mymeta #todoroki touya

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bigskydreaming · 3 years

Note

https://screenrant.com/robins-nightwing-dick-grayson-failure-support-bat-family/

WTF is this trash?

Like my favorite thing about that take, in that not at all sorta way, is how it tries to put the responsibility for all the later Robins on Dick with zero acknowledgment that the ONLY one he had any role in making Robin is Damian, and in his case there was a huge element of trying to actively guide Damian towards finding different applications for his skills than how he'd previously been encouraged to use them. Like he didn't just make Damian Robin in a vacuum. It wasn't like they were just sitting around one day and without prompting or any kind of actual reasoning Dick was like hey you know what you should do that would be fun? Be Robin!

And this is why I fucking hate so much the way people try and remove Bruce entirely from the discussion of all things Robin when like....Bruce post-Crisis and in most peoples' eyes was the one who made Jason Robin, regardless of what Dick wanted, thought, or had anything to do with.

Tim became Robin because of what he believed Bruce needed (and yes, even if Dick ultimately gave Tim his blessing and support and like, Tim wouldn’t have been Robin if Dick went back to the role like Tim felt he should, this still doesn’t make Dick responsible for Tim as Robin or anything that happened to him because notice how people never analyze Dick’s reasons for telling Tim no, he wasn’t going back to being Robin, or examining that through a lens of not Dick being ungrateful to Bruce but Dick being Bruce’s kid who Bruce had just behaved abusively towards and he shouldn’t have to suck it up and get over that for Bruce’s sake, even IF him not doing that is what led to Tim being Robin and bad things happening to Tim as Robin. And again, ultimately Bruce and his actions and choices were Tim’s catalyst for being Robin, regardless of what role Dick played in all of that. You can’t remove Bruce from this equation. Why do people keep trying SO DAMN HARD to do just that?)

And Dick never even INTERACTED with Stephanie the entire time she was Robin, he was busy being in the middle of having every aspect of his life in Bludhaven fall to pieces at that very same time so I remain hard-pressed to see how of all the people who DID make choices in what happened to Stephanie-as-Robin, Dick is the one to focus on.

BUT I DIGRESS.

What if you stop acting like Dick is to blame for every bad thing to ever happen to a Robin, people with absolutely terrible Robin-takes, when like.....

NO MATTER WHAT YOUR VIEW ON ROBIN, IT IS EXTREMELY RELEVANT THAT DICK NEVER CREATED THE ROBIN MANTLE WITH THE INTENTION OF IT BEING A LEGACY AFTER HIM. HIS CHOICES AS ROBIN WERE ABOUT HIM AND HIM ONLY. OTHER PEOPLE CO-OPTING OR GIVING AWAY HIS MANTLE WITHOUT HIS INPUT IS NOT ON HIM.

He didn't WANT successors when he set out to be Robin initially, and he was not the one who set the succession of the Robin mantle into motion.

Any discussion of Robin and Dick's responsibilities towards the rest of them or their fates as Robin, which refuses to acknowledge this or take this into account, is fundamentally flawed from the jump.

(And yes, as always, before people jump in on this I KNOW Dick is an unreliable narrator at best and takes on more responsibility than is merited, but as I'm always saying, unreliable narration fails if the way its framed brings zero attention to even the possibility it might be unreliable and not meant to be taken at face value by readers. And Tim Seeley's thoughts on Dick and Robin are definitely on display here so no, the idea that this isn't necessarily a bad take because Dick has an Over Responsibility Complex doesn't actually hold merit for me, its more like....Dick can be an unreliable narrator about his own guilt/responsibility AND this is a Bad Take, like both things can be true rather than just the one cancelling out the other).

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deathwishdaydream · 2 years

Text

Dear Universe, Up Yours!

Epilogue

[ "Have a Good Time" by Sue Thompson Playing]

Dear Gerard,

If you are reading this, I'm most likely dead. If it's me reading this, you're probably an adult now, 18 or 19 years old.

Gerard.

I think I understand now. There was a sheer chasm between you and the other kids at school. You didn't care enough. That's why I wanted to leave with you. You wouldn't be the type of person to be all panicked if I told you I wanted to run away, you'd encourage it, and you wouldn't have stopped me, or yourself. You were interesting.

I knew of you before, though. You were just my lab partner and an awkward comic book nerd. Even though, you differed from the nerds at school too. There's something so unique and beautiful about you. I just couldn't find the exact words to describe it. Before. But now I can, indubitably.

You're the answer.

Not the "answer" where people tell you that and you get pressured by the expectations held against you. Not an answer to some simple, infinite mathematical equation. Not some sort of answer to all the questions to the world.

But some kind of cosmic answer for me. I am a problem and I am responsible for solving it myself, and I now know that you are the answer. You make me feel more alive than how my physical body already is, you made me feel like I'm not alone in this corrupt, lonely world. You're my panacea.

The thing is, we weren't destined to be together. The stars didn't bring us. That's the cheesy shit that people say to their significant other, and it's incredibly bullshit. You and I, we found each other. Extraordinarily, we found each other. You walked up to me, an intense, lonely person, just to give me a science project packet that we probably will never do, and I walked back up to you after pushing you away and I requested a far-fetched idea. And you agreed. And we left. And we murdered someone. And we broke promises. And we got back together, feeling feelings, then writing each other letters, knowing that death is crept onto either one of us or both of us.

I used to be unafraid of death. I simply didn't care about it. But I think it's because I forgot the whole meaning of it. I am afraid of death. I'm afraid of having to unfold the paper and read out your letter, knowing you've died. And I'm afraid of dying, leaving you alone, once more, breaking the promise once more.

I don't know why you began to trust me at the very start. I don't know why I left only to steal someone's car to find you again. But all I know is that no matter what I do or whatever I say, I'm always going to somehow be brought back to you. You're extraordinary. Every time I think about you, my hands go warm because I'd remember you holding them.

The worst thing the universe has given to us was time. It keeps going no matter what and never stops, and for people who want their day to end and pass, it goes slow, and... Well, when people experience such a beautiful moment, time goes much faster than it is thought to be. However, Einstein did say time is relative. But I wish that I could just pause time just for a second, anything, just to embrace you as the world freezes; and it's euphoria. And I can just sit there, all day, without passing time, without losing time, just feeling your warmth and your arms holding me tightly, or dancing one last dance. Unfortunately, the universe isn't fair. It's horse shit, and you can't wish for something you want to the sky, because whatever it is, it's always going to be the opposite. No matter what. The universe doesn't do favors, especially to people who have done messed-up shit in their lives. And so something I learned from you, from this, is that there's no such thing as a panacea for the entire world.

I would say I love you. But I think I'd need time. I don't want to say it in a crusty old letter. But if we survived this and it's me reading this. You sure as hell know how you feel about him. And you better have fucking told him.

I'm hoping that I've said it to you, though, Gerard, before you even read this. I hope that you never have to read this. Or at least before I even get to say that I love you in person.

Teenagers say that they love each other a lot. It's mostly used in the wrong way, the wrong sense. Used too early. But I do think that society underestimates teenage feelings, they're overlooked and can only be seen as hormonal attitudes. I feel confident in what I feel for you, and it's not some early misinterpretation of love.

I know that in films, whenever you go on some big road trip, it's a pathway to finding yourself. But maybe that's just for another day. I found you. And every hour, it was just me trying to figure you out, it was like a never-ending jigsaw puzzle, a labyrinthine. But every hour, it would reset when I'd be so close to finishing, like one more piece left. Because I'd keep finding out more and more things about you. And maybe, I don't want to ever solve it fully, because I want to keep learning more about you. You're interesting. You're lovely. But if this is really the end, if you're reading this because I'm somehow gone, then find yourself instead. It'll feel remarkable.

Looking back to moments with you is wonderful. You mean so much to me and it's ridiculous how slow I was to realize. But after all, I'm just another immature, shit seventeen-year-old.

I remember jumping the fence of the school with you, escaping our stupid life.

I remember going back to your house and seeing your parents and immediately going back to the car.

I remember singing along to The Smiths in the car with you.

I remember all the times we've embraced.

I remember dancing with you by the shore.

I remember kissing you by the shore.

And I remember we murdered the man.

Maybe I deserve what's coming for me, though—if you're reading this because I died. There were so many possibilities to escape that man, but I felt so threatened, I felt you were so threatened, so I just took out the pocket knife I bought earlier from the convenience store and stabbed him. And it led us to run away so much and hide, afraid of what will come for us.

But maybe I don't. Maybe I don't deserve to be killed. Sometimes I think I don't deserve you. But other times, I just want us to be together. Ardently, I admire you, and I can't let anything bad happen to you.

I'm actually hoping that it's myself reading this when I'm older and that Gerard and I had escaped somewhere, hopefully also getting cats. If it's you, Gerard, who's reading this because I'm gone... I'll miss you. A lot. You've changed my life so much. In all honesty, I don't think I could see myself past high school if I never met you, overwhelmed, but also underwhelmed by the boringness. Thank you so much, Gerard, for everything.

Yours eternally,

(Y/n) (Y/l/n)

September 1994

P.S.

I've written this letter while you were asleep on the rooftop. Goddammit, you're beautiful when you're asleep.

So if you're really reading this,

I'll miss you dearly.

#gerard way x reader #gerard way #mcr fanfiction #mcr fic #mcr #my chemical romance #gender neutral fanfic #dear universe up yours

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