"C'est La Vie" / Gale & Astarion ramble 1k words, as I try and figure the characters out... ✦
✦ I wrote all night,
Like the fire of my words could burn a hole up to heaven,
I don't write all night burning holes up to heaven, no more... ✦
Gale sat near the heat of the blazing campfire, his brown eyes reflecting the stars above him. Everyone else had gone to bed not too long ago, and he would leave for his tent after a moment.
Just…a few moments more.
He just wanted to watch the stars a little longer. He wouldn’t have too many moments left to do so, he could feel it. Be it Mystra’s will, or his own mortality beckoning, he felt it like it were breathing down his neck.
Gale took in a steady breath, the night air crisp, like it could rain any second now.
Oh, how he wished it would rain.
He closed his eyes and pressed one palm against the Orb, feeling it pulse beneath his skin. He tried to quell the hurt there, taking in a steady breath. The Orb wasn’t really the problem anymore, but his soul. It ached in his chest, a thrum of anxiety wedged deep between his ribs.
Everything he was raised for—everything whispered to him, given, was all to come to an end. It was his fault, all of it.
He was already planning how to accomplish his task, even if he felt his fingers tremble upon his chest.
He would try and separate himself from the group—thinking on how to save them from himself. It wasn’t their fault, their sin. Gale would do everything and anything to see to their safety.
Everyone had all been so terribly gracious to him as it was. Even after learning his folly, they would go out their way to see that he received the magical item that would both quell the weave’s hunger and sate their pockets.
They shared their fire, food, laughter, and sometimes even their pain.
He was so terribly thankful.
He felt like such a burden.
Gale huffed a small laugh and rubbed his eyes, blinking away the burn he felt behind them. He had no right to cry about it. He was given a chance of redempti—
“Not getting all weepy, now, are we?” A silky voice asked, and Gale felt the anxiety bloom in his chest again, taking a moment to blink away the pain.
“Gods, Astarion,” Gale hissed at him, the vampire’s hands raised in the air, fingers spread wide. Astarion looked at him, his head cocking to the side curiously. His red eyes looked concerned—wary, even.
“Is it giving you hell? That thing on your chest?”
Gale looked up at him, nodding when Astarion gestured at the log to the left of him: may I?
“Not like it was,” is all Gale could say, looking away. Which was true. Mystra had given that one blessing, at least until he could finish his quest.
“You sound content, considering what has been asked of you. Or rather…demanded of you.” Astarion spoke, his words clear. Gale looked at him and Astarion’s red eyes pinned him there. He had a stiffness to his jaw he hadn’t before.
This was a glimpse to the man’s own hurt—one Gale had only been seen revealed to Tav a handful of times. Now, those too red eyes revealed something to him.
Gale took a short breath, looking up at the stars again. His brown eyes were glassy, reflecting the sky. “It’s no more than I deserve.”
Astarion tsked with a grimace, one corner of his upper lip lifting to reveal a very sharp canine. He started fiddling with a spot of something on the sleeve of his blouse, annoyed or nervous, Gale wasn’t sure.
“You deserve better than that. A God demanding yet another sacrifice…” Astarion trailed off, his eyes dimming, his fingers pausing on the spot.
“But if I hadn’t done what I had, I would still be—”
“Used,” Astarion finished for him, firm. Gale felt hot rage then. He stood up quickly and just stared at the vampire, brown meeting red.
He was so mad, but…
Astarion tilt his head, his eyes the softest Gale had yet to see them.
Pity?
Sympathy?
Understanding?
Gale looked away, his jaw tight.
“You know, before you go off stomping all dramatically, I want you to hear something,” The vampire started again, picking at the spot again, nervously.
“I don’t pity you, Gale of Waterdeep. I pity you only in the way that you are giving up so easily. In my time upon this wretched earth, crawling in the dirt and all the shit of the world, I prayed to many a God. None of them answered. Your goddess answered too pointedly. She’s hiding something, I know it. I’ve lived it.”
Astarion’s eyes trembled with deep hurt and endless rage. A muscle in his jaw jumped, like he was grinding his teeth.
“You don’t give up, you go kicking, or I’ll kick your ass before you even get the chance to blow yourself up.”
Gale huffed a laugh at that, his eyes stinging again. Out of everyone, he never thought that Astarion would be the one to tell him to think of any other way, and not so soon after Tav.
“Thank you, Astarion,” Gale said, gently, watching him with a small sad smile. The vampire was already looking stiff—uncomfortable, like he’d revealed too much. “Truly. Honestly, I thought you didn’t like me, but I want you to know that I really appreciate the kindness you have shown me.”
“Kindness,” Astarion focused upon, mulling the word in his mouth, like it tasted awful.
“Yes,” Gale told him, a twinkle in his eye. “I won’t say more, as I know this is a territory that is making you literally squirm in your seat but…thank you.”
Astarion blinked up at him, unsure what to do with himself. His mask had fallen, revealing a very lost creature that hid behind his usual facade. Gale sighed and, very gently, pressed a feather-light touch on his stiff shoulder as he passed him.
“Sleep well, Astarion. I hope you found a nice enough dinner. I won’t forget this and hope to return it in kind.”
What kind, Gale kept to himself.
Astarion could only blink at the open space before him, the spot where Gale had touched feeling too warm. When he finally could turn around, Gale was already in his tent. Astarion’s eyes flicked back and forth, the vampire swallowing thickly.
“I don’t dislike you,” Astarion told the night, his eyes glassy. A few raindrops fell then, and he blinked up into the sky, a few more drops running down his cold cheek.
✦I waited for days for your voice to answer to me,
I don't wait up for days for your voice to answer to me no more...✦
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