#this author never disappoints
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2023 books ∞ ocean’s echo, by everina maxwell
#2023 books#ocean's echo#everina maxwell#look okay#this author never disappoints#i kind of want to shake her hand#because she's able to make plot unfurl while keeping track of so many little intrigues and other details
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i can't love you in this skin
#twittering birds never fly#saezuru tori wa habatakanai#suggestive#<- jic#interpret this as you will#there's A Lot about gender and yashiro's relationship with gender and heteronormativity especially in relation to doumeki#he asks him what type of Women he likes. they only watch m/f stuff together. “i wonder if he's gentle with women”.#the anger and disappointment when he realizes that doumeki is actually attracted to him#unless he's remembering something that happened he only fantasises about doumeki with a woman and not with himself#(same was with kageyama iirc)#except for that kiss in the elevator but that's a whole other conversation. and even then there was a woman present#he even tells kamiya that doumeki is basically straight and he's just a rare exception#yashiro's is so so desperate to push doumeki towards a “normal” life#aka not in yakuza. not with him. in a normal (straight) relationship#just. a lot of self hatred and internalized homophobia#all that being said. i think regardless of the author's intent reading yashiro as a closeted trans person is also valid#the “i could never afford myself to reflect on this and i also don't care enough about living to even bother atp” type of closet#would it contradict some of the things yashiro says? sure. but he contradicts himself all the time#am i projecting as someone who will live and die in the closet? sure#i think it's interesting that the only person who genuinely asks him about gender is ryuzaki#in the same conversation where he asks him about falling in love#and yashiro's response is basically “it wouldn't change much” and “i'm fine with what i have”. are you tho#there's a lot i can say about yashiro and aoi and yashiro and ryuzaki's girlfriend but i can't articulate it well rn so whatever#the way dumeki's lie about dating a woman affects yashiro is also interesting regardless of which interpretation you go with#which is also why i'm using post time-skip for the art. the topic keeps popping up#but yeah uh. take it as you will i just have a lot of feelings about. This#art tag
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finally caved and started reading all for the game. two chapters into the foxhole court and what kind of gay fucking shit is this! also did not know there were sports in here
#idk whats going on i thought it was like the raven cycle with magic and shit its called the foxhole court??? no fae???? what the fuck!!!#and i cant understand whats happening with the sports. i didnt get it. i hope i dont need to i just know kevin is top dog of the bad dogs#neil is mid mid except hes got a death wish so they want him carnally???#ill be reading it super slowly bc im busy but i can feel it slowly turning up the heat on my brain cells as i read. they are burning.#ive got naught but ten#and neil's not neil but he is and he has a bag of secrets he's hiding in someone else's closet like okayyyy go off author fuck whats the#authors name.... nora sakavic FUCK I SHOULDVE KNOWN NEVER TO TRUST A WOMAN NAMED NORA#i dont know...i dont know.... but also the only gay neil i know is the one from dead poets society and its hard to separate the two rn#is the rest of the book going to be like this what did i get myself into. am i mentally prepared#bc i wasnt for trc and it FUCKED! ME! UP! im STILL insane#ugh. ugh. anyway. way gayer than expected. also at one point someone asks ''how safe is safe'' and MY DISAPPOINTMENT#when the answer wasnt safe as life? immeasurable. in fact i had to close the book. went to study accounting.#ACCOUNTING. HELLO?? CAN ANYONE HEAR ME IN HERE???#the tree speaks#all for the game#aftg#what are yalls tags?#neil josten#the raven cycle#trc
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I am once again begging people to be normal to creators
#insert smoking affleck here#a reminder that they’re not fucking jukeboxes you can’t just make requests and expect to get exactly what you want specific to your vision#to go in an authors inbox just to say you’re disappointed in the weapon choice and to add something in you came up with like be SO for real#this is the shit everyone’s talking about how you can have your own headcanon#you do not need a creator to insert new work for them to validate YOU imposing something in their creation#so fucking bizzare that people do this like it could never be me demanding they do additional labor in-game for my personal headcanon
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Ok no I'm actually still talking about the Asagiri interview because what about Beast???
What about Oda being a better mentor than Dazai? Mori saying that abuse is not a legitimate teaching method but in fact the most heinous thing an adult can do to a child? Oda telling Dazai his motives mean jack shit if he had to hurt the Akutagawas to achieve his goal?
Like I know bsd has never been the best at handling themes of abuse but I was also never really under the impression that we were supposed to think what Dazai did was right.
#Idk maybe this is because I've never been the type to look up interviews or really consider an author's opinion of their own work#Maybe I've just been projecting my “abuse is bad” worldview onto bsd and seeing things that aren't there#But I do still find this whole situation genuinely disappointing#I'm literally just confused#bsd#bungou stay dogs#bsd dazai#bsd beast#welcome back to me talking
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BNHA 423
So, I can't say I feel much of anything reading this weeks leaks.
I'm not shocked that Shigaraki died, nor would I be surprised if his death is taken back next chapter and he gets brought back to life in some way.
The thing is despite people saying Shigaraki dying messes with the themes of the story the themes have always been more then a little shaky. IDK if it's just a difference in culture, but Hori has a way of setting something up as being a big deal/theme and then doing something that completely contradicts it.
It's really no surprise he might have killed off most of the villains including Shigaraki despite setting the story up in a way where saving villains seemed to be a theme. He did the same thing with self-sacrifice being portrayed as bad, but later showing it as good.
I will say I don't necessarily agree with how some people are framing Shigaraki's death as throwing abuse victims under the bus. I do get the frustration because Hori did focus a lot of how Shigaraki was used by AfO and in a lot of stories that would be used to absolve him of guilt for all the destruction he caused. But Hori never had Shigaraki change his mind. His last words are him continuing to wish he could have destroyed more and wanting Izuku to relay to Spinner he never stopped fighting for destruction.
I think if this had been a more thought out and focused story you really could make it a great tragedy. It feels unfair that he couldn't be saved, that despite Izuku's effort, at the end of the day Shigaraki wasn't able to break away from the destruction he was manipulated and groomed into believing.
In that way I can understand the anger of some fans, because the story is essentially a tragedy framed as a simply triumphant narrative. It always felt like it wanted to have some deep meaning, and always seemed on the verge of it, but never stuck the landing. The one thing I've always been left wondering is: what is Hori trying to say with this story?, and IDK if the ending, given what's on the page right now will really give me an answer.
If anything I think perhaps Hori was trying to say to much at once. I'm sure a lot of it gets lost in translation and cultural differences, still part of me thinks he bit off more then he could reasonably flesh out. Thinking back many writing choices feel like he had an idea or passing thought and added it because it was cool or thought he'd have time to do more with it latter but due to shitty writing conditions couldn't implement properly.
#mha#bnha#bnha spoilers#bnha 423#boku no hero academia#bnha leaks#idk#im sick and rambling#at this point i check in on bnha to see how it ends#because i genuinely have no idea how it's gonna end#it does sort of feel like a story that was so much cooler in Hori's head#like I honestly wish I could just have him explain it to me#cuz I do think alot of stuff got cut or dropped because he didn't have the energy to draw it#I think it's a huge lesson in why working conditions matter#and why some stories and authors don't do well when released chapter by chapter#let alone weekly#over years of time#I think One Piece is a huge outlier#and should not be counted#i guess I feel like BNHA could have been really good if it had been released more like a novel series#like one book every year or two#because I think Hori needs time to edit and really pick a direction sometimes#which a weekly schedule did not give#and as disappointing as it is I can't help but give the man props#I can barely start my stories#let alone finish them#and I don't draw them ontop of that#like his art is fantastic and I loved a lot of his characters#never would have bothered to keep checking back if I didn't like something about it
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What is your favourite thing about Billie Lurk?
(Answers are obvious possibly but i love when people talk about her👍)
thanks for the ask!! YEAH ME TOO I love when people talk about Billie! I can't say I have a favourite thing specifically, but I can explain why she's my fav. apologies for not taking this qn literally, but -
short answer: she’s really cool
& you can stop reading there, or, for the maybe 2 mutuals who might have time to read this my thoughts on her as a character, her meta, and her character as raw potential...
long answer:
i considered making this entire thing a gush so you could read a gush about Billie. but, part of what draws me to her is that she’s not always well written, and in fandom she’s underrated for a literal protagonist.
since you ask...
billie is a cool character
when I played Dh2 (hadn't played Dh1), I was excited to see a black woman with disabilities who was captaining a massive ship by herself. wow.
then I discovered Billie’s backstory with Deirdre, the way she responded to that, then having to survive while living on the run, and her bisexuality. as well as her history with daud & delilah. fascinating!
she’s an outsider who has so much to lose, and knows what it's like to lose everything - having lost everything not once but three times - but nevertheless speaks truth to power. she's so brave! she went and helped Emily & Corvo and she must have known they might kill her! plus, she’s smart, she’s funny, she gets shit done, she’s gorgeous.
but... the meta
mild critique of fandom & arkane incoming.
skip this bit if you want - you've been warned twice now - jump to tired Hayao Miyazaki and read from there if you'd like my thoughts on writing her.
i thought Death of the Outsider was going to be amazing and then... well. *sad trombone* i've written about that before so i won't keep banging on. i figured others must be disappointed too, so I joined a few fandom spaces in hopes of finding camaraderie.
most people with complaints about DotO didn’t like how the Outsider and Daud were handled. which is valid & I agree. but it seemed like most paid no attention to Billie; when people talk about her it’s with respect to Daud, as opposed to in her own right. you could argue for fandom misogyny because people don’t talk about adult Emily Kaldwin that much either, but in Billie's case, it’s misogynoir (compare & contrast with the popularity of thomas, particularly the popularity of thomas portrayed as a white man for no particular reason that i've been able to discern - i keep asking around, is it in the books???).
i think this is a LOT better now than it used to be, which is fantastic. or perhaps i have found the correct echo-chamber? ha.
ultimately, The Fandom is a fraction of the entire picture, and not even the important bit since The Fandom is not who these games are made for. you can't make money relying on only your hardcore fans even if all of them spent a fortune on merch, this is true for any AAA game.
while it's true that Billie is underrated from a fandom perspective - but Billie as an underwritten protagonist is squarely Arkane’s fault.
it was reasonable when she was a side character - the lack of info in Dh2 makes perfect sense (if anything there was more lore in Dh2 which is kind of wild)-
- but as a protagonist in Death of the Outsider?
.... there’s lousy writing, and there’s whatever is going on with Billie Lurk, a black woman who mostly exists as a foil or saviour for light-skinned characters. In her own game there’s barely any of her own lore except where it's relevant to saving two dudes.
lore hints at, but barely touches on what race means in the Dh universe (xenophobia is stronger in Dh1; separate essay i guess), but Arkane has patted themselves on the back for portraying non-white characters, which feels like the same thing as the aesthetic of diversity we're seeing in advertising currently because it’s in marketing trend guides. it's self-congratulatory and it's a missed opportunity for deeper storytelling.
you can see an example of diversity at its most shallow in the way that Billie’s written: there’s little engagement with her as an entire person with history & wants & preferences, and the world she walks through in that game feels like it has nothing to do with her. you could make a case for alienation as a theme, but then, how do you handle the titular premise of 'Dishonored' without ever letting Billie make changes in an environment without a chaos system? it's disappointing from that angle too.
in my opinion, whatever it's worth, it was an accident Arkane created such an awesome character - they needed someone to betray daud. congrats billie.
all this said, it makes her an underdog as far as characters to enjoy & create art & stories for. it's nice to find so many like-minded, switched on people! <3
billie's character potential
she’s got a wealth of unexplored lore, being deeply intertwined with both Karnaca & Dunwall’s fates & criminal underbellies, as well as her connections to the witches & whalers, and three Empresses.
she’s lived a few distinct lifetimes and in the games we get to meet her at two peaks (KoD & DotO) & a low (Dh2 as Meagan).
her voice is very distinct, her dry & often dark humour is entertaining & fun to write. her perspective is really interesting - she’s had the widest variety of void-powers of anyone canonically, and she’s also lived through the highest highs and lowest lows.
she's got everything going for her :) i couldn't really pick a fav thing!
#i assume my followers are cool enough to let me give a brief measured critique on fandom trends and DotO#thanks for the anon question!! what fun!#i love billie lurk <333#jumped on the opportunity to rant n rave#what part of billie isn't my fav! (im a guy who likes the bad stuff too. mmm interesting meta)#trying to be not unfair or mean- i'm not targeting anyone but rather trends. and it's ok to be disappointed with something you love#fuck it. make it part of the appeal! her writing sucks! plenty of room for me & other creators!#its easier for me to indulge my billie brainworms when it sorta feels like she's not getting as much love as she deserves#you know? i want stories where her history is explored and her agency is important so i guess i'll roll up my sleeves#tumblr is a terrible place for this sort of critique IMO- lots of nuanceless empathy-free guilt-trip-ish rhetoric#so i hope i avoided that. but not so much that i seem forgiving.#that said i'm not tagging this one with fandom tags! no thank you.#i am blaming arkane yes. but that is also not without games industry context#i could complain about amateurish writing but that also never happens in a vacuum. industry problem(s) for sure.#people love to blame writers for things#and yeah a couple really fucking good writers can push a boulder uphill#but its usually a company problem#hire lots of diverse people in your company. give them authority and respect and reasonable workloads. and no crunch.#ah fuck this is a separate essay in tags. again#THIS WAS A SIMPLE QUESTION#*clutches head in hands*#uh if you're still reading at this point im SO sorry and thank you and i love you
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nothing else is happening in the last one, its literally only a kiss. archer is just such a freak that even that by its own is enough to break him. (to be fair, it's the first time gio had ever kissed him)
he's so delusional that he almost believes it was genuine reciprocation of his feelings instead of gio playing with his toy and seeing what fun new noises it can make :)
#subordinateshipping#deranged scribbles#i have. ea lot. of thoughts/feelings about gio#he's very particular about what kind of “”affection“” he allows#both for his “”“”“”“”partner“”“”“”“”“”“ and himself#he doesnt hug. he doesnt hold hands. and he definitely doesnt kiss#he can pet. caress. hand lingering for just a second.#just enough to tease; not enough to have it mistaken for actual affection. actions that still enforce his authority#but with archer? this man that knows his place and wont expect anything further from him?#for his entertainment he can spare a kiss. and the results did not disappoint#(i also hc this as gio's first kiss. he's never had the urge to do so until that moment#archer's soooo special :)) he should feel honored)
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man i have really been thinking about worldbuilding and exposition in books recently
when i was like, i don’t know, twelve-ish, I picked up this book about a teenage girl in a spy school. and i absolutely fell in love with it - I thought it was incredibly neat how the book just seemed to drop me into the middle of the story, even starting in the girl’s second year. in fact, the main character frequently referenced events from her first year (falling in love with a civilian, things ending badly, finding secret passageways, losing her mother’s trust etc.)
and I actually really enjoyed the fact that the character had a rich and vibrant life outside of what i had read and that the book didn’t go out of its way to explain her past in flashbacks or anything. i understood the main takeaways and why she was reacting to things based on what i gleaned, and more than that i understood the growth of the character, why she was cautious in certain places but reckless in others, etc and i felt smarter for not being handed the answer on a silver platter
anyway it wasn’t until i finished the book and realized there was a sequel that i looked it up and found out that. in fact. i had started with the second book in the series.
oops.
#i will say i genuinely read the sequels and NEVER went back and read the first book#it genuinely felt like i understood the takeaways from reading the second book#it almost felt like i would be doing cammie a disservice by going backwards and undoing the progress she had made#anyway i just remember thinking about how cool it was that the author didn't go out of their way to explain exactly what happened#and yet i was able to understand what happened just by her reactions to this new guy#the oh. OH. of realizing she hadn't fallen in love with a civilian so much as fallen in love with the idea of civilian life#her life being made much more difficult from the loss of trust by her mother and teachers#kind of want to go back and reread it but i feel like reading ur childhood books again sets you up for disappointment#probably not the masterpiece i remember reading#but man it made so much sense bc of COURSE cammie wouldn't just like. give me info about how the world worked. her mum was headmaster.#ofc she knew how the spy world worked smh#so when they were like FUCK the secret passageways we used to sneak out are blocked off bc we got caught last year#we need to figure out either a) another way out of the school unseen or b) find more secret passageways#and i was like !!! yeah! of course! that makes total sense and adds an obstacle for the main character to get though!#and now i also know that cammie a) was sneaking out to see her boyfriend which means it was b) a secret worth hiding for some reason#idk that second book was the only bitch i respect
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I love you SoC artists and writers who don't feel the need to make Kaz "ugly" in their work
I love you SoC artists and writers who let Kaz be seen as attractive by characters other than just his close friends in their work
I love you SoC fans who don't just brush off and dismiss the idea of Kaz being considered Hot with regard to his physical appearance
I love you people who let the visibly disabled character be seen as attractive and desirable (without fetishizing or objectifying or having it be "in spite of xyz" or "attractive.... for someone who's xyz")
#and no I'm not talking about the 'terrible haircut' jokes#let disabled characters (and ya know. actual real existing disabled people)#Be considered attractive without also making their disability be a Thing(tm) in relation to that#Especially when the author herself (Who based Kaz's disability on her own In case anyone needs reminding)#Made a point of mentioning him being desired by more characters than just The One Who Loves Him#To be clear I'm not criticizing people who go#'oh he's probably malnourished and doesn't eat enough#/he never sleeps#/he's been in a permanent state of stress and Survival More since he was a little kid#and these things can have a visible physical effect'#(I meant survival mode* not survival more. in case that's not clear)#and choose to portray those physical effects when it Makes Sense#(Although if you're attributing labels like 'ugly' to them could you... maybe reconsider that? Please?#And keep in mind that there are very real people who have those traits (whether it's even remotely in their control or not)#and may very well see you talking about them that way? Etc etc)#Anyway!#I'm just tired of seeing the idea of him being physically attractive get dismissed and even#In a (disappointing but not surprising) number of cases *criticized*
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Thinking of how I've been incredibly spoiled by FF XIV and how its team handles ongoing stories. People keep repeating about the latest genshin conundrum that it's just called an ongoing story, and... no? It doesn't have to be like this?
Even if it's common it doesn't mean such a thing should be normal.
But maybe I'm just holding everyone else to an unreasonable standard.
#ff xiv#I've been unhappy with some of the narrative choices#5.3 finale I'm looking at you#sorrow of werlyt I'm looking at you too#also varis deserved better#I complain about pacing every single patch#I'm unhappy about the aetherology lectures right about now#but for the six years I've been playing I never felt let down#with genshin I feel let down#also the way ff14 does reveals#remember shadowhunter#I think delighted shouting kept reaching stratosphere for a month after the patch release#and the most touching thing was when they expanded the open demo not just to the main game#but also to heavensward#because you don't leave players on a cliffhanger like this#you just don't#yoshi-p and his team are nothing but considerate#and I came to appreciate that very much#there's something incredible in knowing that no matter what the authors do I won't be disappointed
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I've been thinking a lot about my sexuality these last few years, I'd even say sometimes obsessing to an unhealthy degree, and I think I've come in terms with the fact I almost certainly am bisexual and denying that is pretty lesbophobic and frankly dumb in many ways, and mainly cruel towards myself. Gonna be reading up on internalized biphobia and whatnot
#Turns out men around me just suck#And men that are thirsted over most of the time do too#Alright they don't meet my preferences**#No toxicity here everyone's valid#I have had my reasons to think I'm gay and I don't think I was that 'delusional' (idk a better way to say it) thinking that I am gay#But the more I move forward the more I realize I'm just lying to myself#I don't have to date men or be interested in what most people think is attractive in men to be bisexual and that's alright#I am a little disappointed in the way bisexuals are treated in certain lgbt+ spaces specifically chronically online ones#Is it cringe to admit that the thing that broke the camel's back was a fandom meta post where the author said that people in fandom#can't tolerate bi characters/HCs because the idea of a character having history is repulsive to younger fans that want there to be one and#only love interest. Or smth along these lines. That resonated with me. I have no clue why tho. I don't have much history with anyone myself#Aside from a homoerotic childhood friendship or two (celibacy sweep)#Not just that there were a lot of good points made but yeah. Fun things#I have a feeling I'll continue obsessing over this stuff#Obsession grind never ends babyyy 💯💪#It does feel nice to admit to things I like without feeling like I have some sort of reverse religious trauma#the center of it being one ultimate queer experience and if you've straighted you're condemned to be seen as a straight by gays#for all eternity#Bisexual#Bi pride#//rambles
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I think some of the arguments about fan interpretations of characters and OOCness forget a fundamental part of human nature which is this: each of us perceives the world and the people in it in slightly different ways based on our own experiences.
Most people have certain characteristics they consider fundamental to their Blorbo and some characteristics that are less important and could be changed, ignored, or scrapped for AU purposes. Unfortunately, which specific characteristics fall into which category are not going to be the same from person to person. Sometimes the overlap between two people's interpretations will be huge, and those two people will probably enjoy the same fan content. Sometimes not so much.
Personally, I write for a ship that were childhood friends that became lovers. In many AUs, people have them meeting for the first time in adulthood, and for me, that changes the nature of the ship and their characters so much that I can't really get into it. I consider their childhood friendship fundamental to them as people, and those authors don't. Which is fine. Many other people like those AUs. Nobody here is really in the wrong, we just have different opinions on what makes these particular Blorbos them.
In almost all cases, someone out there will find your interpretation of a character OOC. And that's fine. Hopefully they are polite and simply choose not to read your fics/engage with your HCs/whatever. But I think all of us have had the experience of reading a wildly OOC take and seeing other people enthusiastically going along with this "wrong" interpretation of the characters and thinking, "What??!?!"
It's fine. It's normal. It's annoying as hell (people are wrong on the internet), but it's inevitable. And if you find that interpretation particularly heinous to your Blorbo sensibilities, the block button is your friend.
#fandom#fanfic#idk I saw that one post where someone compares like#some people saying chess is beating each other with sticks and it's normal for someone who likes actual chess to be disappointed#as an analogy for bad fandom takes and like... nah man#tons of games have different rules and that doesn't make the game wrong#like maybe you thought all poker was just texas holdem and someone comes along playing five card draw#you are both right they are both poker but you are coming from different life experiences to expect what poker is#characters are so much more complex than games with rules#what speaks to me about a character might not be what speaks to you and this will affect what we focus on/exaggerate/emphasize in ourfanwor#like yeah obviously some people are stone cold wrong BUT it is our burden to bear the weight of knowing and understanding their wrongness#I see new authors freaking out about like what if I'm OOC!!!!!!#and it's like... eh you will always be ooc to some goober out there go have fun#will never forget that one post with like over a thousand notes about how Fenris doesn't use contractions in speech#it was just... provably untrue#posts I expect no one to read lol
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When you get a notification from AO3 that an author you're subscribed to published something new but it's for media you've never even heard of
#the high and low of a favorite author publishing something other than your favorite blorbos#no one is obligated to stay in one lane!#never expeess your disappointment to fic authors thats a you problem#still we know this feeling right?#ao3 fanfic#also this is one of my favorite moments in all of Golden Girls#'WHO??'
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Just because your personal headcanon doesn't line up with what happened in the actual book doesn't mean the book is bad/wrong. It just means the author wrote what they wanted and what is true to the character and not what you wanted.
You can make your guesses and yell all you want about what you think is right but canon is canon whether you like it or not. Your headcanon is not canon so rereading the actual books might be helpful to differentiate between what is true and what you made yourself believe is true. The author will always know their characters better than you think you do since those characters wouldn't exist without the author.
#gpost#fandom wank#just in general#people think criticizing the text is a whole ass personality trait.#it's why no one likes being part of anything anymore#but also this isn't for people who genuinely just have fun with things#because those people realize 'hey i'm going to crackship or make up things or fic or headcanon that I know would never happen'#'but I'm going to do it because it's fun without me bashing the author because they didn't do it in the book'#people these days always post with the 'I'm right and if you don't agree you're stupid'#and my gal pals#my hot mamas#we're on this website for no other reason than to be weird#also these books are never that deep and I'll keep shouting it from the rooftops#if y'all had fun just reading and enjoying the story for what it is the way the author writes the story FOR FUN#we'd enjoy this place so much more#this isn't some platform where we have cult leaders and 'influencers or some shit lmao#this is fucken fiction#biggest advice (and this is to myself first): except nothing so that way you won't be disappointed#I dont' even wanna think about what's next in terms of events/plots/ships because ya know what?#You never know. You really never know.#So I will take what I am given and either enjoy it or not.#sorry for this random rant on this fine Monday#but just been my thoughts lately.
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perhaps the reason why aup ended like *that* is because it was not supposed to have a happy ending in the first place, but sayren didnt have the guts to deal with readers' backlash for when they finally kill off the main character so a half baked happy ending is what we get 😔
#for a happy ending of a story to be narratively satisfying the characters gotta actively work hard for it#this happy ending feels empty because quite frankly speaking ludger did nothing to deserve it#he has zero character developments from the beginning to the end and has always been the same#well except for his emotional state getting worse over time#bc instead of making any attempt at all to healthily address it like a mentally mature 40yo adult he let it swallow him whole#(not that im necessarily blaming him but its quite frustrating to see him remain unchanged if aup is meant to be a redemption story)#his OPness is inherent#his genius is inherent#(this is not to say he isnt hardworking / only relying on his inborn talents but the author repeatively failed the 'show dont tell' checks)#(bc it was only implied in the past and we've never truly seen it in the canon present timeline either)#his kindness is inherent#ngl dad!ludger content doesnt appeal to me as much as dad!edgeworth cuz the latter is the fruit of the character's growth and hard labor#while the former is well... its just who he is#usually i love found family content but in aup it bores my mind out bc his interactions w the students + owens are so static & predictable#it was heartwarming at the moment of adoption but later on i find it as tedious as reading generic established romantic relationships#was it because of the lack of tensions and conflicts i wonder#they all became his yes men and no one ever actively challenged his unhealthy mindset or behaviors#anyway id have been more interested if he recognized his biases/favoritism/prejudices towards some certain characters & worked to change it#but welp. that would require character growth which is too much to expect from him ig#he has learnt quite nothing from his journey and tbh aup would ironically feel more meaningful if it ended on a tragic note#ofco i got noblesse'd again 😔#would i kill for aup to have a happy ending? yes#would i rather have a sad ending over the half baked and empty good ending we get? also yes#if it must burn then let the whole world burn. cuz at least it would be more much memorable and impactful that way#and i wouldnt have to feel this disappointed and lose all of my interests in one of my only two beloved aroace MCs in aup </2#rant
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