#this actually happened to me yesterday but it also makes a good shitpost
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when you're talking to your best friend about your gay crimes and he quotes the categorical imperative at you. call that a kant move
#misc#kant#categorical imperative#*mine#this actually happened to me yesterday but it also makes a good shitpost
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Worldbuilding and Writing Fiction are two separate skills.
Someone reblogged one of my shitposts yesterday (the one about intimidating myself out of worldbuilding) expressing confusion in the tags about how anyone could be intimidated out of writing through worldbuilding too much.
This was kind of baffling to me, because I think I've seen it 50-60 times now, especially with new, ambitious writers who are starting off with deep fantasy or science fiction projects. When you talk to them, they've often sunk months or even years of worldbuilding into the project, but when you ask how far they've come on the fiction side of things, they usually have writer's block, haven't started writing the story, or say they're not ready yet. 'I'm starting soon' is a common refrain. 'I just have a little bit more left to do.'
The main reason for this - I feel - is that worldbuilding and writing are two different skills. Someone who spends 5 years worldbuilding has learned how to get really good at worldbuilding, but that doesn't mean anything about how good their writing will be. Many folks think worldbuilding will automatically make a story better, but sometimes worldbuilding can become unwieldy and stressful, especially in the case of a) entirely new worlds / secondary world fantasy, or b) complex worldbuilding. Definitely not talking about contemporary romance here, lol. (Though no shade to that, I've had a lot of fun worldbuilding for those stories too).
Going from worldbuilding to writing is launching into an entirely new space. If you find writing new stories easy, that won't be a problem for you, in fact you may not even have realised they're too different skills before now.
If you find writing new stories intimidating, sometimes having hundreds or thousands of things about your world to try and constantly remember can feel overwhelming and mess with the executive function needed to start a chapter.
In some cases, worldbuilding can make it much easier to start a story. But it really depends on what you're needing to do. If you're just writing a contemporary story where you need to research two characters and two jobs, you're generally going to be just fine.
If on the other hand, you have the equivalent of a 500 page Wiki behind-the-scenes, it can feel overwhelming very quickly.
New writers fall into this trap the most, I feel. They become accustomed to what worldbuilding feels like, and they hedge on writing the actual fiction, because they just have more experience worldbuilding and keep waiting for their confidence in worldbuilding to become 'confidence in starting the story.' It doesn't work that way. They're different skills.
They might even be better at worldbuilding than writing! But that just means - if they really want to be a writer - that writing is the skill they really need to work on the most. That can be a comfort zone issue too. It can also be a 'only about 5-10% of all this work will ever appear in the story' issue, where folks want to share the worldbuilding more than the characters or plot, and therefore are just not inspired to work on their story. It can be a 'I want this story to be as good as my worldbuilding' issue. It can be a 'I find the worldbuilding part easy' issue. There are lots of reasons people stall out in worldbuilding and then feel intimidated to write the actual story.
This can also happen with established writers who become aware that the more they know about their world, the more they don't know about their world. It can start to feel like - if you write 10 articles for yourself, you end up with 100 more to write. If you write those 100 articles, you have another 300 to write. Worldbuilding never ends. Worldbuilding can be endless, and if you're an immersive writer, you can get lost very easily in the details, or in not knowing what details are critical and what details aren't. (A hint here is that you'll figure that out really fast when you start writing).
Stalling in worldbuilding can be a lot of things, it can tell you that there's something broken in the world, something broken in the story, it can tell you more about your insecurities, it can tell you how good you are at one skill and where you might need practice in another. It's super informative!
But, generally speaking, the advice I tend to give to many new writers is to try not to let your worldbuilding period last too long. Ideally, put a timer on it and see how it feels to start writing your story once the timer has gone off (3 months, 6 months, 3 weeks, put it in your phone or in your calendar, and start the first chapter, or some random scene, once that time is up).
If, after that period of time lapses, you still aren't ready to start your story, something bigger might be going on. It's an opportunity to dig deeper into the situation. And sometimes just ask yourself if you're using the idea of a novel as an excuse to do what you love most: Worldbuilding. If that's the case, there are other jobs you can parlay a solid worldbuilding ability into. It doesn't have to lead to novels. :)
But yeah it's super super common for many writers to stall out between worldbuilding and writing, and to feel overwhelmed by their own worldbuilding.
New writers get affected by it the most based on observation and hanging around writing forums, and the advice that gets asked quite often specifically on 'when do I go from worldbuilding to writing the story,' but established writers experience it too, because as Gene Wolfe once said to Neil Gaiman: "You never learn how to write a novel, Neil. You just learn how to write the novel you are on."
#on writing#on worldbuilding#dodgy advice#worldbuilding and writing are two different skills#and writing one novel in one world#doesn't necessarily teach you how to write another novel in another world#likewise worldbuilding doesn't teach you how to write the novel that will follow#it just gives you a lot of meat for the structure itself#some folks don't notice a difference and never realise they're different skills#some people just notice that worldbuilding makes things easier#and for the rest of us it can definitely be a mixed bag
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a look ahead
my loves, i've had some time away from this site and it's given me a bit more clarity as to what i want my blog to look like in the future. i don't know if this comes out of nowhere to any of you because i don't tend to announce my decisions to the internet, but since this is going to (directly or indirectly) impact y'all, i thought it was only courteous to tell you that there'll be some changes made around here in the next couple of weeks.
what is that going to look like?
come september, i am going to start blocking minors as well as ageless, blank and/or empty blogs.
apart from a writing challenge submission i'm set on finishing, i'm not going to be posting any fics for a little while.
sadly, that also means time after time is officially going on hiatus for now.
i've been thinking about these things for some weeks now and even though i feel like i'm letting people down in a way, i feel like this is the right move for me at this point.
there are several reasons for all this, if anyone cares <3
why block minors if you don't write explicit stuff?
excellent question. the truth is that i considered making my blog 18+ a year ago when i created it, but didn't. the main reason for that was that even if someone puts an age in their bio, i have no way of double checking that, so i thought, why bother. but the truth is that i've grown uncomfortable with the thought of literal children interacting with me, whether i post explicit stuff or not (and i have reblogged explicit fics more than once). i don't want to have to worry about these things when i'm just trying to enjoy my time on this corner of the internet. of course, i still have no way of checking this, but i still want to establish this boundary for my own mental wellbeing.
my main blog will remain all ages and i will continue posting on ao3, but i don't want any minors around on my writing tumblr anymore.
what about blank/empty blogs?
this is a trend i've only really noticed once i started posting my writing on here, and it seems to mostly pertain to the people who don't know how tumblr works and are unwilling to learn, or bots. just put something on your blog. if the only thing i can see on there is the list of people you're following and your likes – particularly if i can see that you're mostly liking fanfic but not reblogging anything – you're getting blocked. if you reblog fics with a sideblog, that's completely fine of course, but put something else on main then. support gif makers. support artists. support shitposters, i don't care. just reblog stuff. that's what this site is for.
what about your writing?
i told you only yesterday that i have a whole pile of wips right now, and i do, but the truth is that i'm exhausted. i put a lot of pressure on myself when it comes to my writing, and the truth is that i feel like that's part of the reason i think it's good, but it's simply not sustainable. i started a new job back in june, and i'm about to start working on my thesis, and what should be a hobby is burning me out. the same thing happened to my reading habit, and it's just sad to witness.
i'm currently hoping that by taking out the constant urge to post something, anything, but make it amazing, i can actually enjoy writing a lot more again. (don't get me wrong, i still enjoy it, i really do, but i need to do it without the whole immediacy part of it for a while i think.)
what does this mean for time after time?
i mean, let's be real here, updates have been scarce at best anyway. i started this series with a lot of momentum and then slowly teetered to a standstill against my best intentions. again, i hope that by taking away the pressure to post as fast/good/much as possible, i will find myself doing it more again, and doing it more gladly.
this series truly is my everything and i will finish it, but i want to have a few chapters already pre-written the next time i post a part. that way, i hope there won't be as much time between updates, either. depending on how long it takes me to get to this point, i might do a weekly chapter reblog or something to remind y'all what was going on lmao
*
hope y'all understand and i'm sorry if this is disappointing but it's my blog and i'm asking you to respect my boundaries. kay thanks bye <3
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kit: isn’t it amazing how i can feel so bad and yet look so good?
#constant mood except i don’t look good#honestly do i project onto kit?#yes#yes i do#it costs £0 to make shitposts about kit that are really me saying that kit’s sad because i am#therapy ain’t all that my ladz#on a serious note therapy is actually extremely good and helpful#please seek help if you need it and ignore the media portraying therapists as bad#they genuinely do help people a lot and mine helped me#(too bad i can’t see her anymore oof)#just had to say that#bear in mind that a lot of the stuff i say on here are jokes and you should take proper care of yourself#ignore me basically#except when i weirdly and randomly get wholesome in the tags#idk why that happens#also i’m seeing my best friend tomorrow!!#haven’t seen her in a while so i’m really excited!!!#just thought i’d say that bc yesterday i wasn’t feeling too good and now i have something to look forward to#anyway#kit herondale#kit rook#tsc#tda#twp
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I DESPERATELY need an update to the salad theory now that Eddie was actively chopping it in 5x14 I’m not sure why or what it means but I need it
oooh thank you for reminding me that i was too preoccupied writing fic and also shitposting yesterday to do saladnalysis! because boy oh boy. the salad.
5x14: dumb salad? salad luck? lucky salad? idk man i don’t have a good title but just trust me on this one
it’s so loud. it’s right there it’s in your face it says look at me, i am salad. not only that, but eddie is actively making the salad. not only that, but look at what a juicy salad that is! that fucker is bountiful we’ve got so many different colours and ingredients going on
okay so there are two angles from which i would like to approach this salad:
the fact that it exists at all
where, specifically, it exists
so. the salad exists, and it exists with such prominence. it’s been basically relegated to the background if appearing at all for several episodes…
and it comes back now??
in this married ass episode??
in this episode where the thesis statement is “look at how domestic the buckley-diaz family is”??
in this episode where nobody questions the fact that buck takes christopher to school, and buck calls bobby to come over so eddie won’t wake up alone, and buck hangs out with christopher while eddie’s at therapy??
in this fruity as hell episode where buck tenderly and lovingly takes care of his husband eddie and then gives him a hand-drawn heart??
in this episode where buck hears a one-off comment at work and immediately starts thinking about ways it will help eddie??
in this episode where buck interacts with his actual canonical live-in girlfriend only for the bare minimum of time required to quid pro quo a favour out of her
in order to pull off a giant fucking grand gesture for his husband eddie???
in this episode where we invoke the shooting for the first time since it happened, and the well for the first time since the will reveal??
bitch
i did this in bullet points for comedic effect but actually there are so many bullet points wtf
so yeah. that’s a choice. that certainly is a choice that has been made. if salad not buddie. why this.
second thing: where the salad exists.
this isn’t just a random throwaway dinner scene, this is a very important conversation between eddie and christopher
about how eddie isn’t okay, but he’s doing the work to get better and he will get better
he’s doing the work he’s making the salad
so if salad is buddie and he’s making the salad and he’s doing the work he’s—
eddie unrepression in therapy arc??? the girls (gn) are not prepared
there’s also a neat little contrast here to the fact that in eddie’s nightmare christopher is eating cereal (which brings up everything i’ve previously been talking about re:processed food), and eddie is eating a bagel—it’s the same meal, but it’s not the same food. almost like they’re not on the same page. but here the salad is clearly for dinner that they’re going to have together.
salad is buddie, but you can’t have buddie without the buckley-diaz family so by extension salad is family as well, and that’s illustrated here.
and that’s what you missed on salad theory
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ON THE GRADUATION OF HOLOLIVE 4TH GENERATION’S KIRYU COCO
Some context is going to be required here.
Hololive is a group of virtual youtubers, or vtubers. This group is run by Cover Corporation, a talent management agency, and is organized along the lines of a Japanese idol group, meaning that new members are added in batches (referred to as “generations“ here but generally called “classes.”) There are between five and seven generations in Hololive’s Japanese branch, depending on how you count, two in their Indonesian branch, and one in their English branch. There was also a Chinese branch, at one point, but they all graduated.
Graduation: when a real life idol reaches a certain age (23 or so, usually) and is deemed too old for the business, she “graduates” from her group, with great ceremony, and has to figure out what to do with the rest of her life. But virtual idols don’t age. They could go on forever, or at least as long as the person playing them can do the voice. Nonetheless, graduations do happen - one member of the fifth generation resigned shortly after her introduction following a doxxing and harassment campaign, and the Chinese branch quit en masse after one of the Japanese Hololive members referred to Taiwan as a country. That member was Kiryu Coco: Yakuza, drug dealer, guerilla filmmaker, edgelord, bilingual comedian, host of the weekly Reddit Shitpost Review, and, fundamentally, an anime dragon woman with enormous tits. (Her horns are real, but her tail, she lets us know, is a plug-in.)
Coco announced her graduation yesterday. She will be the first established member to leave the group. It came as a shock; sure, there had been a difficult period following the Taiwan incident when mainland Chinese trolls were invading her streams and spamming her chat (the community referred to these people as “antis”, hilariously,) but that had blown over, for the most part. We knew there had been conflicts between her and Cover management over some of her more risque material - she was constantly pushing the boundaries of what was acceptable for an “idol”, or, frankly, for a female public figure of any kind in Japan - but she was so integral to the community, building bridges between the generations and the different language groups, refining and amplifying and in some cases inventing the running gags that were integral to the identities of so many of her colleagues, and, in general, working more hours than a human being should to make Hololive a success. Burnout is of course a big deal with streamers but Coco so rarely let her fatigue come across, and it’s not even clear that that’s what happened here. Coco is, most likely, going on to bigger and better things.
Except “Coco” isn’t.
A Hololive vtuber is a weird gestalt entity, composed in part of the affectations and backstory and design created for the character and in part of the personality, real life and real history of the performer. We know that Coco’s real mother is sick and had to go back to America for treatment, because Coco tells us what’s going in her life, except she says that Mama Dragon has to go far across the sea and Papa Dragon is staying home; this blending of reality and kayfabe (a term in general use among english-speaking Hololive fans, tellingly) reminds me of pro wrestling, where the best characters and storylines make use of real personalities and events and rivalries to give them their charge. In Hololive as in WWE the company owns the character, but if a performer leaves WWE we know we will probably see them again soon enough. They’ll be under a new name, but it’ll be the same person with the same face and the same moves and the same personality - maybe tweaked a little to avoid a lawsuit, but close. With vtubers, though, it’s a different story. There is a person called Kiryu Coco with a voice and a face and friends and a history and on July 1st there will be a big farewell concert streamed live over the internet and then that person will cease to exist.
And that’s weird, right? I had enough of a parasocial relationship with this fake person that when I went to my discord to be sad about her imminent departure I had legitimately forgotten that she was a big titty anime dragon lady and that I was going to get roasted the second someone googled her. She’s just Coco in my brain, and I know that the woman who performs that role isn’t actually about to be erased but part of me insists that I’m awaiting an execution. That part of me - the part that had me writing “but what if cartoons were real and had feelings though” stories when I was in high school - is doing backflips about it. I can’t figure out the meta here. Does this entity have a soul? Does it live in a certain streamer who also goes by KSON, or somewhere else? Will it haunt the giant statue of Cover CEO Motoaki “Yagoo” Tanigo looking sad that Coco built in Minecraft as her last great contribution before her departure?
Whatever she is and wherever she’s off to, she will be missed, and I will hear her cheerful “good morning, motherfuckers!” on the wind.
#long post#coco kiryu#a bunch of stuff I wanted to fit in here but couldn't#the actual intersection of hololive and pro wrestling as fake mongolian and enormous nerd the great o-kahn has adopted oozaru subaru's#'sheep-killer' backbreaker and the announcers are now calling it as such#and the way that the proportions of kayfabe and reality vary from character to character#from fake toddler luna and horror movie cliche haachama on one end to kureiji 'I piss like a pulse cannon' ollie on the other#and that doesn't even account for traits the audience invents and projects on the performer#who usually adopts them out of self-defense
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tma fic recs
hi i’ve been been going through my bookmarks so here’s a list of some of my favorite tma fics! a lot of these are pretty angsty though so you should heed the trigger warnings!
jon-centric fics
Farewell Wanderlust by CombatBootsAndDreams
Jonathan Sims never had enough time. It was always slipping through his fingers like sand through an hourglass. He could see it passing but could do nothing as it took more and more things from him. So he learned to measure everything in actions instead of seconds.
Or: The many moments used to measure the life of one Jonathan Sims, The Archivist.
i love this one it hurts me real bad!
the bell tolls by softlyblue
Jon knows about death, and he knows about dying. He tries to plan around his own.
this one also really hurts me!
Touch Me, Even it Hurts by AuralQueer
People don't really touch Jonathan Sims unless they want to hurt him. That's mostly fine. Jon has never been a tactile person, and he doesn't need anyone but himself.
Except the world is falling down around him, and loneliness aches, and sometimes he'll take anything - even cruelty - just to feel human again.
*A story set between s1 and s4, looking at Jon's relationship with touch, friendship, and his own humanity.
i cried over this one a lot yesterday! it’s wonderful and so fucking sad
jonmartin fics
the garden of forking paths by bibliocratic
Whatever he had predicted might happen, Jon wasn't expecting to survive upon demolishing the Panopticon. He certainly wasn't expecting to be rescued.
Instead, he wakes up in an alternative universe where he's never been the Archivist, and Martin Blackwood doesn't exist.
Martin Blackwood wakes up somewhere else entirely.
i love this one a lot! made me really fucking emotional
The Power of Self-Respect by IceEckos12 & PitViperOfDoom
Jon's life has never been easy, but he's now in a place where he has friends, his job isn't wretched, and best of all, he's dating Martin Blackwood. Things are finally starting to turn around for him, so of course that's when he learns that he must defeat Martin's seven exes in order to stay with him.
There's something fishy about this whole thing, Jon is sure of it. But the only way to find out what is to throw down the gauntlet and fight for his love.
the scout pilgrim au i never knew i needed! i went into this expecting crack but now every time it gets updated it’s all i can think about for the rest of the day and it is very painful. it’s so good.
Desperate Measures by quantumducky
Helen offers to help, and Jon is just tired and miserable enough to accept. Turns out her idea of "helping" is to turn his brain into confused mush and then make that Martin's problem. Somehow, it all works out.
this one! fuck! i love it. made me so sad. but also. a happy ending! i miss helen.
See the Line, where the Sky meets to Sea by The_Floating_World
When Jon is a child he looks into the infinite abyss of space. The Vast looks back into him.
also has some jon/oliver! some found family! vast!jon my beloved...
jongerry fics
Til Death, Parted by Hecatetheviolet
“But, yes, if you all really must know, I married Gerard Keay in Las Vegas.” The total stillness at the table would have better suited a painting than a group of very confused archival assistants. A blob of ketchup falls from the chip frozen halfway to Melanie’s mouth.
“You… married a ghost,” says Melanie, eventually, in a stilted, leading tone.
“Mhm,” says Jon.
A ghost story is something that can be so matrimonial, actually. Too bad Jon and Gerry didn't find that out until the wedding.
I ADORE THIS FIC. U KNOW THAT ONE JONGERRY LAS VEGAS WEDDING SHITPOST? IT’S THAT BUT SO MUCH MORE. GOD IT’S SO FUCKING HEARTBREAKING BUT ALSO HAS LIKE THESE COMEDIC MOMENTS THAT ARE JUST SO FUCKING GOOD. THE WAY THE WRITER WRITES THE JONGERRY DYNAMIC IS JUST. FUCK. IT’S AMAZING.
eager eye and willing ear by graveExcitement
Gerry investigates a paranormal mirror and is pulled into another universe, one where Jon has just burned his page.
i just. love this one. 
jongerrymartin
Ghosts without Graves by Ostentenacity
“I’m already dead, after all.” Gerry smiles, a mirthless flash of teeth. “If I pop out of existence tomorrow, fine. If I stick around for a while, well—at least now I’ve got someone to talk to.” His tone of voice is still blasé, but his gaze falls heavily on Jon, as though asking, Right?
“Yes,” says Jon. “Yes, of course.”
---
When Jon wakes up from his coma, he finds that while Gerry may still be dead, he’s not exactly gone.
i love this one so much. made me happy. made me sad. it’s just wonderful. 
jontim fics
Between Sleeping and Waking by voiceless_terror
So they curl up in his bed, an arm slung across Jon’s waist, his back to Tim’s chest. There are no spiders here, not in this bed that smells of dryer sheets and detergent and Tim. He’s almost asleep when the arm around his waist tightens suddenly.
“My brother always said the pressure helped. When he had bad dreams.”
Jon has nightmares and Tim attempts to chase them away. In the process, they learn a few things about each other.
the comfort. the understanding. it’s just so nice.
enemy of my enemy by beeclaws
Jon comes back from his time with the Circus a little worse for wear. Tim has some feelings about that.
it hurts so bad. but. fuck. the tim & jon somewhat fixing their relationship fic that i just really needed.
Tear Out All Your Tenderness by With_the_Wolves
"He’s been doing such a good job of ignoring it, up until now, pretending he didn’t know how he survived the Unknowing. Pretending he didn’t hear the constant rhythm of hunt hunt kill kill rushing through his veins in time with his blood. He didn’t used to be able to smell fear.
In the aftermath of the Coffin, Tim decides that he's going to be there for Jon. But Jon's fear is intoxicating.
THIS FIC! THIS FIC! JESUS CHRIST IT’S SO FUCKING PAINFUL. JUST. HOLY SHIT.
jonmartim fics
beautiful and annihilating by advantagetexas
But reality was a lot harsher than dreams. He admitted that to himself now, as he gently moved a piece of hair from Jon’s unblinking eye. Daisy Tonner was dead. Sasha James was dead. Daniel Stoker was still dead, or disappeared, or whatever woe begotten fate had befallen him at the hands of that wretched circus.
And here was Tim. Alive. And forced to deal with the fallout.
this fic <3 i love it very much. it’s updates are the highlight of my day. really fucks with my emotions. it’s just great.
#the magnus archives#tma#fic recs#tma fic#tma fics#magnuspod#if you write tma fics at all you are amazing and i love you#minus the like. people that erase jon’s asexuality obviously. but i would die for the rest of you#writing this made me realize how little i read fics that aren’t like. heavily involving jon. so if u have any other recs feel free to add
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Bughead Appreciation Day 1 Except It’s Day 2
So I spent yesterday nice and cozy in bed and put this off (good choice, tbh, I was very snug as a bug), but now, now comes the time for me to gush about some people in the fandom! This is definitely not a comprehensive list, I have absolutely left some people out because I am very forgetful, but, in no particular order and under a cut because I’m a wordy bitch:
@tory-b: A delight and a dear, leading writer of monsterfucker!Betty, co-runner of @riverdaleprideandjoyzine, a legend and a friend, we have no choice but to stan. Her stuff is so good and varied and just *chef’s kiss* a delight, two favorites of mine are Fangs/com/Match (Betty/dragon!Jughead meet via monsterfucker Tinder, has some great friendship moments with Kevin and Veronica and is v sexy and funny, features the horniest Betty) and Sticky Sweet Serenade ((past)-friends-to-enemies-to-lovers bughead, mixes up some statuses in Riverdale, excellent mystery, I remember reading it and going, “holy shit, a believable take on Northside!Jughead”). I’ve also gotta mention Whats in a Name? (Betty and Jughead meet on tumblr, Betty writes poetry and Jughead is a shitposter, they slowly connect, it’s great) and To Balance the Scales (scientist!Betty/mermaid!Jughead, currently a slow build, I cannot wait for you guys to see the excellent worldbuilding she’s done). I could keep going, or you could binge all her fics today, an excellent use of your Saturday, I assure you, because I’ve left a lot out.
@stillhidden: Always good for some great thoughts on the show, one of the best reasons for my your thoughts on Riverdale please show them to me tag, I get psyched every time I see a Riverdale text post or ask answer because I know I’m in for a good time. Thoughtful and funny and nice, what a combo!
@satelliteinasupernova: So talented! Author, artist, co-runner of @riverdaleprideandjoyzine, funny, haver of good thoughts on Riverdale is there anything she can’t do? No, there is not. Every time I see her art I’m like !!!, the colors! how well-drawn the hands are! the accuracy of their hair! the backgrounds! the way I can see the love in their eyes! I cannot even, there are no words. Also! Her fics! So original! One of my earliest memories in the fandom is reading The town called Riverdale (a sort of mystery about the meta fuckery going down in Riverdale, explores time loops, stories that control lives, the roles the Archie characters are “supposed” to have, a mash-up with concepts in Princess Tutu that requires zero knowledge of Princess Tutu) and going !!! is this a Princess Tutu mash-up? Have I been #blessed enough to see a mash up between Riverdale, a story that fucks with archetypes, and Princess Tutu, one of the shows about fucking with archetypes and the way stories ontrol lives? I was and I am and I raved to my non-fandom but Princess Tutu liker friend about it. Has also wonderfully tackled eldritch horror in return to Eldervair and gothic horror/romance in The Lady of the Manor, does fluff, does angst, does it all, so go check her out!
@go-ldy: An angst and time skip queen, tbh, and always has some great thoughts on Riverdale, another reason I’m glad I have that tag. Every time she answers an ask, I’m like, “Yesss, incoming Good Thoughts, I am HERE for this”. But do not sleep on her as an author! Into the Deep is some delightful dark!bughead, and I’ll walk with you in the shadows is such good time skip angst and a mystery and there’s a certain surprise I love but is a spoiler but you simply must read this, you must. The Time after Time series is giving us that good angst bughead content that season 5 is not going to, and I’m so glad it exists and just thrilled that she trusted me to beta it. I’m leaving a lot of stuff out though, so you should go check her out!
@milajovovich: One of the best gif makers in the fandom, I will fight you on this. Makes absolute miracles with footage, the way she makes season 4 webrips look like they’re actual blurayrips is godly, they’re so crisp and so smooth and the coloring is always great. And like, jesus, the way the bluray footage looks? Fucking outstanding, the talent is off the charts. Go marvel at their gifs, go, go.
@imreallyloveleee: A prolific, talented author and funny to boot! loveleee is one of the people who has been here since the beginning, a mainstay in the fandom, and we are so, so lucky she hasn’t left. How do I even begin to rec you some of her stuff? She can write smut with fics like burn, baby (a 3x16 missing moment of bughead fucking in the car as the trailer burns, what a gift to the fandom, I can’t even), is queen of pining with fics like boy problems (season 1 post 1x05 canon divergence, a bughead get together but with that quality pining) and her i’m just a shot away series (two fics, one from Jughead’s POV and one from Betty’s, that are fully of pining and sexual tension and miscommunication and major teenage vibes, you gotta read them), and writer of one of the funniest fics in the fandom and one of my favorite, like spirits in the night (the core four + Kevin perform a seance to contact Jason Blossom and yes, it is just as funny as it sounds, perhaps even funnier). And there are countless others, so settle in and go check her out because she does it all, fluff and angst too, I just don’t have time to rec them all.
@meditationonbaaal: Absolutely one of my all-time favorite fic authors, like across fandoms, the talent, I cannot even properly describe it, like the quality of the prose, amazing, iconic. the devil’s daughter (a season 2 rewrite with some differences in season 1, jumps back and forth through time in the best way, has the best and creepiest dark!Jughead, has some great smut that includes dom!Betty and dom!Jughead can you believe we are so blessed, such a good rewrite of season 2, and you know how I love season 2, so that is some high praise, let me tell you) is easily in my top 10 all-time favorite fics across the many, many fandoms I’ve read many, many fics of, and you simply must check it out, you will not be disappointed. develop, stop, fix just blew me away as a kink week fic of bughead playing with bdsm in a dark room, the layers, the smut, the trust, the feelings, I cannot even. And doll parts! doll parts is so good, just such an amazing take on drop dead gorgeous, a fabulous Jughead and Betty as per usual, dare I say even better than an already fantastic movie. I am behind on loose lips sink ships, but I can already tell it’s going to be a great exploration of the Stonies and a great take on season 4. Keep an eye on her stuff here and here, do not miss out!
@dieqohargreeves: An icon and legend in gif making, just makes the most beautiful and intricate and creative gifs. The coloring is amazing, the techniques are amazing, that shit is Art, I will fight you on this. You gotta check ‘em out, you just gotta, I can’t do their work justice.
@sullypants: The wit! The humor! The observational skills! The talent, my god! Sully is the genius behind @bettycooperoutfitwatch and @riverdalearthistory as well as a fabulous writer of both meta and fic, yet another excellent reason for me to keep up with others’ thoughts on Riverdale. Her a comic miniverse series is so funny and sweet and such a great take on the Archie Comics version of bughead, and the after-party series (Betty and Jughead attend a, well, prom after party, and the events that happen, and I am not doing it justice, but it is v good, I promise) has such a great vibe and such great characterization. And young adult friction (librarian!Jughead is in a kind of competition with librarian!Betty, it’s so funny and so great) is such a delight, and we do not have time to get into everything great she’s written, but go check it out here.
@lilibug--xx: The queen of bughead smut, can you believe she has graced us with her stuff? It is steamy and it is in character and it is amazing. Dark Cherry Chutney is still a fandom favorite of mine, just some great dark!bughead who are unaware of each other’s darkness (but oh, they find out!) as well as some excellent smut. And Pressed for Time (Betty teasing Jughead with her skirts in an effort to get him to fuck her and he is barely holding on until he isn’t, alternating POVs in the best way) is sexy af but makes you work for it, it’s a delight. And give you mine (Betty and Jughead fuck at work and it is so hot, I can’t even) is so goddamn good, just some of the best dom!Jughead out there. Has also written monsterfucker!Betty, which you know I’m a fan of, in once upon a midnight (werewolf-hunter!Betty/werewolf!Jughead with sex pollen where she does not shy away from some wolfy-ness and it is hot af) and has written monsterfucker!Jughead, a rarity but always a delight, with reap what you sow (witch!Jughead/undine!Betty and Betty is so delightfully otherworldly and it is so sexy but also sweet), and there are countless other smut fics, we would be here all day if I went through them all, so you gotta check her out here. One more thing though: she can also write fluff with Lemon Drops and Chocolate Chips, a sweet fic of Betty and Jughead as neighbors that you should definitely check out.
@thatiranianphantom: Funny and thoughtful and talented and has correct opinions on musicals! Writes such good explorations of post-4x17 (and post-4x17 adjacent) scenarios. Like, the we are a masterpiece series is v good and so interesting, and no one else is singing my song is such great angst as a post-4x17 fic and a great use of Crazy Ex-Girlfriend songs. I am forgetting a lot of stuff, I know I am, and I think I might be behind like a fool, so let’s go check out all her stuff together here, yes? Yes. Also? Great for Riverdale speculation, especially about the season 5 musical episode.
@heartunsettledsoul: So talented, queen of canon missing moments, and funny to boot! I love reading her liveblogging of the episodes, and I cannot recommend her stuff enough. Her Forgotten Moments series of canon missing moments is iconic, you must go read all of it, especially there’s witchcraft in your hips, a post-2x13 fic of Betty and Jughead being such teenagers and Jughead being a dweeb about his cheerleader girlfriend and I am not doing it justice but you gotta go read it, man, you gotta. But the series is full of gems from the beginning with Midnight Silence (Betty and Jughead talk post-1x04 about the Grundy debacle and it’s such a delight) and going all the way through to the most recent it might’ve been a nightmare (a 4x12 through 4x16 fic that gives me a wide range of emotions and is fantastic) and your eyes look like coming home (Betty’s diary entries throughout season 1, simply inspired). But she’s also so good at AUs! a dark world aches (for a splash of the sun) is already looking so good as a bughead mystery with some varchie fun on the side, just some quality core four content, and won’t be the same (if you’re not here with me) is a favorite of fake dating, Christmas, and there was only one bed, just the best tropefest. And there are so, so many more, so you must check her out here.
@lovedinapastlife: She writes such a variety of AUs, I am just in awe of them all! The talent, I am amazed. The dark!bughead in The Society is peak dark!bughead with a simply iconic yandere!Betty, and you are seriously missing out if you have not read it yet. Oh, and there’s some more dark!Jughead with a side of dark!Betty in the key to harm(ony) that you must check out because it’s such a great ride and is sexy, what more could you want? Every movie AU she does really takes the source material and makes it her own from works You Drive Me Crazy (but I'm gonna keep on loving you), based on Drive Me Crazy and definitely better than the movie, to the most recent to all the boys (but especially you), based on To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before and just so sweet. But also can write otherworldly fics like Heart’s Desire with genie!Betty and The Second Coming with fae!Jughead, as well as regular aus like Detention (Betty and Jughead in detention and it gets a little sexy but also quite cute), and pure porn like Eye of the Beholder (Betty and Jughead as sorcerers who hook up over sorcerer Tinder and it is sexy but also sweet), as well as some of the best ABO in fandom with her A/B/O Mine series (alpha!Jughead/omega!Betty in high school and holy shit is it hot as hell). I am only just skimming the surface here, so definitely go check her out!
@kyloren aka @jughead-jones: Mila is so talented at making gifs, like goddamn, and also so funny, but I bet you didn’t know that she also has written some damn good fic! She hides it, but it is out there and it is very good, my favorite being let me hang my hook on your splendor, a fandom fave of a Scooby-Doo au that is so much more thoughtful and clever with its casting, and also very amusing, you must check out the rest of her stuff here.
@elizabethbettscooper: A delightful person and a delightful writer who is largely retired from the bughead fandom but still such a talent, like seriously. Her Twin Peaks Riverdale AU The Past Dictates the Future is so good, you simply must check it out, like you must. And yours was the first face i saw is such a fun AU of “what if Betty’s crush on Archie was a front for her crush on Jughead”, you must go read it. And holy shit, her i may be bad (but i’m perfectly good at it) series is peak dom!Jughead/sub!Betty taking place when they’re in college and fucking in so many varied ways, like if you are into that, you must go read these fics, you must, you will have a great and sexy, sexy time. And there’s so much more good stuff, you gotta go read it all here.
@bettycreeper: She does so much for the fandom and she makes such gorgeous gifs! Like, the coordination she does on the @bugheadfamily server and @bugheadfanfictionawards and @riverdale-events and probably elsewhere cannot be understated, she is such a valuable presence in the fandom. And have you seen her gifs? Gorgeous quality, just gorgeous, and her movie poster gifs for fics are simply inspired. Also? She’s an amazing beta, just outstanding.
@stillscape: A very thoughtful person and excellent writer who I can’t seem to tag. Dianthus Caryophyllus is still one of my favorite fics in the fandom, a high school bughead fic with some amazing pining from Jughead with an oblivious Betty, I can feel it, it’s so good. And of course there’s Ninia, an amazing take on the soulmates trope, just so good, I cannot do it justice, you must check it out. The for the life of me series is also such a good AU for Betty and Jughead getting together pre-Riverdale at a summer internship, I have such fond memories of it. And la peste (the plague)! So good, I cannot even. We don’t have time for everything, except you should make time and go check all of it out here.
@theheavycrown: God, where would we be without Sarah? She does so much work for the @bugheadfamily and @bugheadfanfictionawards and @riverdale-events and @riverdalecentral and I’m probably forgetting some, tbh. And so sweet and talented! Her gifs are fantastic and so are her fics. Like, Rain Comes Down (Betty and Jughead fucking in the car on the side of the road while cars drive by)? Iconic, some amazing exhibitionism. you had me howling(Betty in heat in the woods and then Jughead finds her and fucking ensues)? Fantastic ABO, so horny, so desperate. Beneath the Silver Moon Rising? Excellent dom!Jughead, excellent sexy times. You must go check out all of her stuff here, you must.
@50shades-of-bughead: Just some of the absolute cutest art that you must check out, especially their series of dark!bughead that is just fantastic.
@thepointoftheneedle: The variety of work here is phenomenal, the talent, I cannot. Took my ridiculous double fake marriage/draft-dodging concept and turned it into an excellent, thoughtful period piece with phenomenal characterization and a great mystery with Never No Locomotive, I cannot recommend it enough. And Ghosts and Clouds and Nameless Things (ghost!Jughead/grieving-dead-Jughead!Betty with a side of mystery) gave me so many emotions, I think I almost cried, and I am not a crier, I assure you. Hey Pixie Dream Girl, I’m Coming for Your Man! (Betty in her bookstore saves Jughead from his date with a Manic Pixie Dream Girl) is so delightfully funny, and Sunflowers (Betty and Jughead share a working space and fall in love) is so goddamn cute. I have actually found myself behind on her work, which is a crime, it all looks so amazing and I know it will be, and you must check all of it out with me here.
@hellodinoflower: Such an amazing presence in the fandom, such a delight, so clever and funny. She ran @bugheaddrabblechallenge this past summer and gave us all so much joy in the process, and, while her fics are deleted now (as is her right), I promise you that they were amazing, you all missed out if you slept on her. She’s such a great follow, you gotta follow her.
@bluevelvetvideo: A delighful soul, great character insight, great writing. Like, her smut is fantastic, have you read Arsenal (a double feature of Betty and Jughead fooling around in public and then having some sexytimes back in private with some quality dom!Jughead, let me tell you, v steamy)? Because you should. Christmas Lights (Jughead ties Betty up with their Christmas lights, it’s fantastically sexy) is a delight, and you can’t blame gravity (for falling in love) is a very fun take on soulmates and soulmarks, and you simply must go read it. She is a master of smut, let me tell you, and you must check out all her stuff here. Also? An excellent beta, 10/10, I’m so lucky to have her.
@a-true-janian-reply: Very funny, has excellent thoughts on Riverdale! Like, truly, every time I see an original text post or a reblog from her, I am PSYCHED because it’s always going to be SO GOOD.
@writeradamanteve: Such great talent across genres, really impressive. Drive (illegal drag racing Betty and college student but former-ish Serpent Jughead, just fantastic) is one of my earliest fandom favorites, I remember excitedly telling my non-fandom friend about it because I thought it was so clever, and we all know how good Daemon Bound is, yes? Yes, I’m sure we do. Let’s go make sure we’ve read all her stuff here.
@thugheadjones: Has some great insights, some great responses to dumb anons, and some fantastic art, like holy shit, I cannot even.
@bugggghead: A delightful soul, so nice, so talented. Writes some amazing smut, like, have you read intimately acquainted (alpha!Jughead/omega!Betty, meeting up on an app to help Betty with her heat in a heat retreat, four chapters of excellent smut)? Because you should if you’re even kind of interested in ABO. And en pointe is the bughead knifeplay fic of dreams, you gotta check it out. And there are so many other ones, we do not have time to cover them all. She also does cute fics, btw, and Message Me (fanfic-author-who-is-actually-the -real-author!Jughead/gif-maker-and-fangirl!Betty meet on tumblr and fall in love and it’s great) is such a delight, definitely go check it out. In fact, go check out all her stuff here. Also a fantastic beta, I really owe her for that.
@heavy-lies-the-crown: A talented soul who has written so much high quality fic, from the hilarious red ribbon winner (a Christmas fic comedy that I cannot describe well but I assure you is both hilarious and sweet) to the emotional and moving road to me (Betty and Jughead break up, find themselves, and come back together and it’s perfection) to the heart-ripping angst of apizza (a semi post-4x17-speculation fic of bughead together but apart at Yale and the way they will come back together and it is so good and so angsty) to many, many more. You gotta go check it all out here.
@lurker-no-more: Yet another funny person, we as a fandom are so blessed, you must check them out, you just must.
@iconic-ponytail: Another excellent writer! a revelation in the light of day is SUCH a great slowburn and SUCH a great take on both FBI!Betty and Sheriff!Jughead and the two of them falling in love as adults. Also, the side varchie is fantastic, and the mystery is amazing. I have not yet checked out the nighthawks, but I already know it’s going to be good, I can tell, you can trust this author to be quality, so go check all of her stuff out here.
@soyforramen: Funny! Very funny! Also? Writes some great ficlets that are, I think, exclusive to tumblr, which is a tragedy, tbh, but as is their right. But I do have the link to this genius fic about bughead and a platypus in honor of the platypus anon that was going around this summer. Definitely go check them out!
And now I am very tired, I have used up my energy, and I am so sorry if I forgot anyone!
#Riverdale#fandom#fic recs#I mean they're buried in there but they're THERE#can you tell I ran out of steam at the end?
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Hands my url from when I fell on the ground yesterday tryin 2 b cool
MEME → Send me a url and I'll answer the following;; adjusts my sunglasses while I type 1 key at a time quietly swearing because I can't see shit
Opinion on;
Character in general: UGGGHHHH. He is the juggernaut of Final Fantasy, period, and whatever opinion I rattle off doesn't feel valid. I don't know how to explain it. I know him from SO MUCH MEDIA and it's conflicting and messy and when you put it all together it doesn't all make perfect sense. I immensely enjoy his character though, he isn't the perfect hero and he even shies away from that. I'm also certain that FFVII on PS1 was my introduction to characters in a videogame carrying trauma and when I first played through I know that I didn't fully understand what had happened because I was so young when I played it. Though around the time I replayed it in highschool I walked away with a better understanding and to the people who call this guy cool / dark / edgy all I can say is mosey on and play the original game.
How they play them: SAYJ has a very clear voice when roleplaying Cloud. I am certain I have commented this before, I saw their writing and immediately could hear their Cloud and it wasn't just any version of him, it was the hot mess that is from OG. Not going to lie I very quickly 👀💖 jumped at the chance for some small interactions. He's MEAN. He's ruthless, point A to point B and if he has to use his buster sword to carve a path he will. He can be the most stubborn ass known to man. HOWEVER he still has heart. His love language is through his protectiveness and acts of service, while ALL OF THE ABOVE is still going on. He doesn't just soften and become a ball of fluff to those he gets along with. He can be very rough to handle but honestly that's part of the charm???
The writer: SAYJ is [I answer but a truck drives by honking its horn the entire time]. Okay but for real. Recently, as in yesterday, we both had this revelation that we were scurrying around the other like we were imposters trying to act cool and like Real Writers™ because we both saw the other replying and 'fuck' [picks up keyboard and rattles it] 'uhh hhh how do.. reply to that.. so good ffff..' And I really feel like I have clicked with them on a spiritual level. We get each other. We're both on our respective blogs, SAYJ slamming out shitposts and me smashing out my tunnel-vision aesthetics and peppering some Actual Writing™ between that. Also I feel like I could walk into their IMs and SCREAM AT THE TOP OF MY LUNGS about the most obscure thing and they'd scream back, which is a fucking treasure.
Do I:
RP with them: Ah fuck. Shit. I think so??? It's so dark with these sunglasses, I've either been replying to cloudvii or clouduii and honestly I'm too afraid to question it at this point because they keep replying so we've got a good thing going on.
Want to RP with them: If I haven't been replying to them, and I have been replying to clouduii, uh yeah... this is awkward, but uh... I'd like to give it a try.
What is my;
Overall Opinion: High Quality blog, 20/10, so stoked I got a dose of 'imposter syndrome' when I was knee deep in because I would have missed out on such an amazing opportunity to develop this writing relationship and ooc friendship that. Chef's kiss. Love how our gremlins interact. Love how we interact. The entirety of how we interact from the outside looking in is SAYJ face first on the floor and me stumbling blindly around and I wouldn't change that for a damn thing.
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Discord Voice Chats
Felt like typing this up, but ain’t it interesting that every Discord voice chat I’ve been in goes the exact same way? I’d like to shout out all of the things that usually happen while I am in a Discord chat with my friend group. Someone else in my friend group has mentioned this before but I just wanted to mention this as well.
These chats usually go through several phases to give the same bland taste that doesn’t change, no matter what is done. Let’s go through the layout of what happens.
Phase #1: The Wait
The voice chat starts with either me or this specific other person joining the voice channel, and almost every time this happens, a few minutes later, the channel becomes active, it’s consistency in action! The Wait takes place when we, as the phase name suggests, wait until we have a satisfactory amount of people talking to each other so we can go through the other phases in order. This can be taken in one of two ways.
One of the ways being the regular conversation starters such as, “how are you all today?” “What are you guys doing right now?” “Want to play some games later tonight?” and rarely even the rather self-aware questions like “Are you ready to go do the same shit we did yesterday?”
The other way is posting some images we found on the internet earlier today. Approximately 75% of the time, chuckles and laughs can be heard after posting the images, otherwise, they’re completely ignored. Either way, it eventually leads into Phase #2.
Phase #2: The “Mindless Shitposting”
This is what my friend calls this. After we gather enough people in the chat, we all find stuff on the internet to post into the text channel and get some laughs out of them, but half the time, they are reposts from things we have already posted several times before, but we still laugh at them anyway for some unexplained reasons.
There is also another part of this phase where bring up a sentence and it becomes the main focus of the chat for about 20 minutes. It becomes mixed in with other inside jokes to make a usually-satisfactory mix of “funny” stew.
This is also the part that is the most questionable, where it is full of confusing events. It is also hard to explain in detail because there’s not much to it and it’s nearly impossible to find a good way to explain how this goes.
After this passes, Phase #3 begins.
Phase #3: The Actual Conversations (Including Complaints)
In this phase, you can expect to actually get some conversations going and it becomes somewhat unexpected as to what will happen in the chat in the next coming seconds, but it still has a bit of consistency between days. 30% of the conversations have to do with how bad something is, like a particular social media, world events, you name it. However, give it 15 minutes, and Phase 3.5 will begin, depending on the day.
Phase #3.5: The Game
The game starts if the number of people in the chat is sufficient for a game and if most of us feel like playing a game (obviously.) The games we’d play are usually multiplayer, so you’d expect things like Jackbox Party Packs, skribbl.io, or some other .io games you’d find when you don’t feel like downloading any games from Steam or something similar.
Usually, you’d get about 4 to 6 people playing, sometimes even more than that, but the consistency really starts when you see who is good at these games and who isn’t. You’d get the exact same people winning these games, with the same people getting similar placements to what they usually have. (In case you were wondering, I usually suck at these games and end up rage quitting mid-game because in-game, my mind throws the phrase “it’s just a game” out the window and doesn’t retrieve it until about 20 minutes until the game session is over.)
Regardless if the game happens or not, Phase #4 will still come upon us.
Phase #4: The Silence
Arguably, the longest and most boring part of the voice chat session. Nothing happens, nothing is sent to the text chat, aside from a few words mentioning the silence.
That’s all there is to it. The final phase eventually and slowly kicks in, ending the session.
Phase #5: The Death
This is the best part. Everyone leaves so we don’t have to deal with The Silence and the chat for the rest of the night and we can go do our own thing independently and in peace, after about 3 to 7 hours of the session in total on average.
Final Words
So this is what I’ve been doing with my time? Pretty interesting, I’d say, while kind of sad at the same time. I wonder how I’ve managed to go through the same routine daily and I don’t question it too much about it until now.
I need new experiences, don’t I? This is the rare occasion where I wouldn’t mind summer vacation ending now and then I’m back in hell (AKA high school) just for a new experience. Did I really just say that?
-system128
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ONE (1) YEAR OF SOFTHAOS
fellas, as of today – jan 14th 2019 – softhaos has turned one year old!! honestly, i never expected to last this long?? over the past year, i’ve gone through many ups and downs, made close mutuals, received so much emotional support from all kinds of people on this site and overall, i’m so thankful that i pulled my shit together and joined the community on tumblr!
i still remember clearly when i first started out with this blog and posted the neighbor aus and got SO much support for it?? like?? i never thought it’d come this far where i could touch readers’ hearts with my word vomits?? that’s just insane. and even if you don’t read my works yet still follow me: wow, i’m so grateful that you managed to cope with my bullshit – be it from my undying hatred towards pcy and kmg, me abusing the uwuwuwu or my personal thoughts.
in other words, this is my message directed to everyone: thank you for keeping up with my bullshit uwu
now on to the part where i thank specific people for making my existence on this site more bearable,, i’ve left a message for everyone i tagged (i would’ve tagged literally everyone but i’m a stressed student i am so sorry if i forgot you kjldl and i would feel bad if i didn’t leave a note to everyone i tagged) and the list is in alphabetical order! @ anons i also left notes from you at the very bottom.
@baekberrie 💌 even though we just talked once literally two days ago thanks to my clumsy ass sending you an accidental ask, i’m so glad i actually did. pola (okay i got this from your about page im sorry kljsdl) you’re an amazing, kind and talented soul with whom i could’ve talked hours about soft bbh if it weren’t for my tiredness. i’ve only read your junmyeon oneshot so far but trust me, i’ll get to that cuddling fic with baek real soon once i’ve got more time uwu you’re honestly a talented writer and i hope we get to talk more in the future!
@baekbuns 💌 i’ve known you for how many days already you anon thot and i really can’t believe that i was vv intimidated by you at first (not gonna lie, you still scream bde but that’s another story-) hope, despite you trying to steal pretty much everyone from anyone, it’s still very fun to fight talk with you and you’re also an excellent writer uwuwuwu i am still very attacked by the thought of bartender yixing one day I WILL SUE YOU ALONG WITH PCY
@baekwell--tart 💌 bella!!!! ngl i’m still very pissed at myself for not realizing you from your old url but i’m glad i found you again!! (did i find you again? idk anymore i suffer from short term memory but i hope i got my point across sdjlkj) you’re such a warmhearted person and i’m really grateful that i got to know you. however, you’re also a funny person and that also shows in your writing - istg one day i will probably have “perpetual boredom” tattooed on my forehead don’t ask why that description of sehun will NEVER fail to make me chuckle!! you deserve all the love and happiness in the world and so much more uwu
@boosoonhao 💌 i know i keep repeating myself when it comes to you aj, but i really have no idea what else to say. i wrote it in the letter, i expressed myself way too often in the tags whenever i reblog your works, yet here i am doing it again (and maybe even more exaggerated than usual, we’ll see): aj, you are one of the most talented writers i’ve ever known and one of the greatest blessings in the community. there, i said it and i mean it! you are one of the very few i know that doesn’t shy away from fantasy-ish aus and executes them brilliantly. the way you have with your words is just fascinating and i find myself sometimes jotting down what you wrote for future references? but writing skills aside, you are a beautiful and kind person and up to this day the key chain you sent me is still intact. aj, thank you for blessing me, blessing everyone with your talent and general existence.
@byuncaa 💌 bianca you smol soft bean you have my heart right there and though we don’t know each other for so long, i hope we get to talk more in the future uwu you’re such a cute soul gaaah it really makes me wanna send you all the soft memes i possibly own anywaY i hope you just stay as bubbly and bright and adorable as you are uwu
@cafechenle 💌 hani, kaito kid, i don’t know whether you’re still alive on tumblr or not but idc i’m still writing this to you anyway. you’re one of the first people i’ve met on this site and gOD i remember it as clear as day where i was so close to blocking you within the first few minutes of knowing you. yes, i’m talking about the entire mansae chan era discourse. anyway, we don’t talk as much but i hope you’re doing fine my wee lil silver boys supremacist!!
@changbeanbag 💌 landon, we literally just met yesterday but as you can see, i don’t care and i’m writing you a wee lil note anyway. you, my dude, radiate uwu energy and ngl i may have squealed when i saw your tags in the ask i sent you teehee - i hope we get to talk more in the future (that is, if school hasn’t killed me until then-)
@changbiinn 💌 kirra, you beautiful, blue haired visual goddess who has everyone else (including jisung yES I WENT THAT FAR) looking like a mere smurf and found dead in a ditch! i didn’t think i’d get an instant dm from that one inkigayo shitpost but you went ahead and proved me wrong sjljlks timezones fuck me up all the time but nonetheless i hope we get to interact a lil more and gET ENOUGH SLEEP OR ELSE
@cheolsjigyu 💌 MISS VAN NO I DID NOT FORGET YOU HEAR ME OUT. first of all, how could i forget you when you provided me all the great twt aus and the wild chats we had back in?? sometime early last year i guess. it’s been a very long time since we talked and i’m sorry i couldn’t reach out to you any time sooner due to school and the usual stuff (also, uh, i’m not the biggest friend of tumblr dms and barely check any messages there so there’s that too) believe it or not i still wheeze whenever i think of your fic swing baby because goddamnit that jyp song was one repeat for a good week. anyway, i hope you’ve been doing well and are not at the brink of near death like me uwu
@cherryxiu 💌 gran, frank, satan incarnate, whatever else i call you. you may fuck me up with the pcy i’ve never asked for but i hope you know you have a soft spot in my heart (i’ll never say that out loud again tho so see it as a one of a time thing). you’re my fav minseok stan and while i wouldn't necessarily jump off a cliff for you, i’d jump with you uwu anyway, aggressively refrain from sending me more pcy content i’m just trying to live an easy life here. but knowing you, you’ll definitely pretend as if that last part was never written so why do i even bother-
@chillihansol 💌 hanni my child!!! i hope you’re doing fine, aren’t as stressed anymore and have received the love you deserve and more!!! i still remember when i was highkey intimidated by you so i went on anon but then somehow you were startled by my lil threat and then i became your mom anon? funny that has changed over the time skldj hanni, i don’t regret ever going on anon for you and you’re an amazingly talented writer. i already said it once but i’ll say it again: guns n roses was the first svt fic i read on tumblr and just thank you for creating that piece uwu
@choco-seventeen 💌 miss choco, i almost tumbled down the nonexistent stairs in my apartment when i saw you ??? sliding into my dms ??? and then reading my word vomits ??? and then you followed me ??? and everything that followed after ??? i don’t know what in the world i did to have you notice me and up to today it remains a mystery to me ngl. we love a talented, kindhearted, fantastic, stunning, visual writing queen who is ofc the right person to love thanks to the avatar discourse she started!!! choco, keep on enlightening everyone’s life with your mere existence, the tags you put in your reblogs that make me smile and of course, wonderful stories <33
@custardheart 💌 taylor, i don’t think we have ever talked (unless you approached me on anon maybe then maybe yes??) but i just wanted to thank you for blessing my notifications. you’ve been supporting me / on my notifs for quite a long time - may i say you’re like one of the first followers i had when i first started out? THAT’S how long you’ve been here already and i can’t thank you enough <333 (please don’t ask me why i know that but goddamn every time i see that jeonghan profile picture i already know it’s you djklj)
@dinoshaur 💌 sha! lee! i know we barely talk to each other but i just wanted to use this opportunity to thank you for making some of my days with your astounding fics!! one of my favorite works from you will always be “flower crown prince” because you have NO idea how much i struggle with finding seungkwan fics dkkjljlk i’m sorry i didn’t submit anything for the lfw challenge i really tried to make it but you know, life problems happened whoops. i wish you all the happiness and inspiration and love from chan himself you gifted angel uwu
@forevershua 💌 dear fossil mother ryan, i can’t believe i internally pronounced your name wrongly for pretty much half a year knowing you. please forgive me. okay, but all seriousness aside, you’re one of the closest people from this site!! i really love you so so much though i can’t guarantee that i love you as much as you love jeonghan more than shua; i still shed tears whenever i pull out your two postcards - especially the minghao one; i think i suffered from mild heart palpitations when i got it in the mail (and still do). i hope we get to meet this year and possibly clown rat together and just stay the somewhat sane person left in the gc <33 p.s HOW DO YOU FUNCTION WITHOUT A FRIDGE I STILL CANT BELIEVE THAT
@gamerwoo 💌 rocket, you’re always active when it’s the ungodly hour where i live and it has happened more often that i stay awake because of you. not only do i have loads of stuff i can queue from you (teehee) you recently started posting stories again and the ones you hammered out lately just??? do things to me??? for real though do you have sadistic tendencies or somethin because you posted TWO (2) nsfw stories that I indulged at 2 AM IN THE MORNING. aside from that minghao and junmyeon stuff, uuuh, i finally got around to finish your ghoul au which i completely adore!! i’m looking forward to your upcoming works uwu and hope you get all the positivity and good vibes only uwu (p.s i have to confess: my dumb ass seriously thought the “woo” in your url referred to jungwoo and for some good weeks i thought you ult jungwoo rIP ME)
@hearttoshu 💌 jess, i don’t know what in the world i did to have you notice me because i’m gonna be honest here, i was scared of you skaljdlkjslkj please i don’t even know why, you seemed very intimidating but i was proven wrong in an instant!! you are one super soft bean with hq gifs and a love for jun and shua that reaches up to infinity and beyond!! your tags always get the best out of me and i’m really grateful for having you in my life uwuwuwuwu
@jejublr 💌 ew rat, you’re finally adulting. jokes aside, you were the first victim to fall under my disastrous typo errors and may i say that i’m just simply ICONIC for forever slapping that legendary nickname on you uwu nat who?? we only know RAT. you’re the one person i can always run to when more serious issues are bugging me since i guess you can relate the most to my personal dilemmas and i just wanted to thank you for being there for me <33 that, and for keeping gran somewhat at bay. i hope we get to meet up this summer where i’ll feed you with lots of chocolate while teasing ryan about her biasing jeonghan LMAO and just like most people from the gc, you’re one of the first close mutuals i’ve made. in a way, you could say you’ve been with me here since day 1 (almost) xx
@jin-hua 💌 mayo / mango / mayo that tastes like mangoes / idk i bet i have misspelled your names approximately 993828 times in 937987 different variations but guess what? i still love u to death uwu i love me a fitness queen, a visual goddess not even god himself could ever and i’m so so glad that you exist in my life <333 i know i promised you a crackhead message but when i think about it there’s not really a lot to say that’s out of place when it comes to you?? you’re an angel uwuwu the light of my life frank could NEVER
@justsomekpopstuff 💌 jj it is i, your #1 supporter!! since you’re also part of the nug club gc from the beginning on, you have an extra special place in my heart <3 jj, i love how supportive you are and i don’t think you realize that i cherish you to the moon and back and that times 903809. i love how you get so fired up about your hockey team and like to gush and suffer from the wrath of Joshua hong and i hope you’ll stay eternally happy uwu that, and dRINK LESS COFFEE ISTG
@lxveille 💌 veille we’ve never interacted a lot but i just wanted to let you know that i admire you a LOT. i haven’t got around to read more of your works lately, but i do have a favorite fic that i still clearly remember. okay, that’s a lie, i have several that left a strong memory. but let’s say, if i had to reduce it to one fic, it’d be the 100wtsily dystopian au with jihoon and 66 & 70! you’re one of the very few writers who hit the dystopian genre spot on and you truly are an inspiration. seriously, thank you a lot veile xx
@middle-of-a-wonshua-sandwich 💌 LOOK, i didn’t even know you changed blogs or something and i’m so eternally sorry that it took me ages to figure that out! (RIP me) you’re one of the first followers i had if i recall correctly (i’m pretty positive of that) and i just wanted to thank you for sticking with me so long uwuwuuwwu i wish you all the happiness bb <3
@multi-yeol 💌 haaaa we’ve only known each other since a day or something but i’m really glad we did!!!! honestly, that Loona song sorter is harder than any of the german exams i had and though we don’t know each other for so long, i hope we’ll talk more in the future bub!!!
@oatmealupdates 💌 lynna, you too are one of the first followers on my blog i’m wheEZING you’ve been here for so long sdlkjlkj thank you for your support and your comments under the fics always make my day i swear!! i’ve also noticed that you haven’t been that active as you used to be (maybe it’s just me idk sometimes my dash is kinda wacky) but all in all i hope you’re doing good!! if you ever need to talk to someone, you can always hmu <33
@queerjunhui 💌 vane, ngl, you really scared me at first. i was really intimidated by your for reasons i can’t even explain and i always thought you were out of my league sdkljlk i think we started talking since the cyzj thing and you’re one of the funniest and nicest people i’ve met so far on tumblr, seriously! your content - be it from your shitposts to mindless thoughts like the entire indirects to j*** * yES I STILL RECALL THEM - you always manage to make my day brighter whenever i see you on my dash. i wish you all the happiness and hope you’re doing good uwu
@seungcheolsbodyharness 💌 katey, sis i still think about that criminal seokmin and the entire au we made up - from FBI agent cheol to incompetent intern vernon and all that jazz. besides the fact that your url is a pure 10/10 as well as your other URLs, you’re such a nice person and i really enjoy your presence - be it in the form of reblogs of any kind of thing to the comments you occasionally leave and don’t get me started on the aSKS; katey, i’m so glad to have met you on this site!!! uwu
@softwonwoo 💌 jian darling!! honestly, i have no idea how you even know of my existence. just like pretty much everyone else i’ve tagged here you kinda had that intimidating aura?? but then the more i talked to you somehow, the more i was proven wrong and you’re such a sweet pea i can’t- also, i’m glad that i found someone who can agree with me when it comes to chungha dsakjlskj pls stay healthy, stay happy jian!!
@swyllh 💌 sara, i don’t think we have ever had a proper conversation, but i just wanted to give you my appreciation. you are one of the most underrated writers within the community yet you always give your best when it comes to your writing and honestly, i really admire you. i haven’t found the time to read your interactive fic yet (i keep pushing that back i am so sorry but i’ll get to that one day) and one of the fics that i absolutely adore is that one end of the world fic with chan, as well as the vernon collab with sha!! i really hope you’ll get the recognition and love you deserve you gifted writer !!
@tonicandjins 💌 faye my snowflake, i haven’t seen you around lately but if you read this, i hope everything’s alright from your side! i’m quite sure i’ve already mentioned this to you but i’ll say it again. i will NEVER shut up about one and two small petals and will NEVER recover from it. another banger is that wonwoo fic with the printer- ugh, you’re such a talented, beautiful person and i truly wish you all the best. remember, don’t stress yourself and relax once in a while uwu
@yeolsmiling 💌 angie hi!! i legit only sent you one (1) ask so i really don’t have much to say so far unless i wanna repeat myself lMAO one day, i aspire to purely emit soft energy for yeol but i doubt that day will ever come. i hope we get to talk more in the future you soft bear <33
honeybunch anon 💌 honeybunch, i hope you’re doing well! i still remember that i called you that when you slipped into my asks and gushed about that one mingyu fic up to this day i’m still flattered and eternally grateful that you’re still here uwu thank you for your support and making my day <33
fromis anon 💌 idk if you’ll ever read this but i miss you uwu i hope you’re doing fine and just a quick update from my side: i still haven’t found a bias yet uGH
sugarpie / tulip anon 💌 you seem like such a cool person i’m really glad you stopped by in my inbox thank you for hitting me up uwu since i have no clue who you are and since i’m a dumbass, i’m can only rely on you messaging me jslkdj
none of the letters are proofread i am so sorry
#i stayed away up until now to make this post#bc i know im gonna fall asleep straight after school oops#if u excuse me i'm going to bed now lkdslk#dara being dumb and dense#in other words: dara is currently mush with zero (0) brain cells and energy#it's 3 am and i gotta wake up in 3 hours pls#i have for sure forgotten someone ugh kms#softhaos antics
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How do you imagine Tenco's Story ending in your head?
that is a GREAT but UNEXPECTED QUESTION freshlybaked "spider" bread and i'm really happy to have the opportunity to try and answer this ageless question that has burned within all of us in the tenco's story iv waiting room community since 2013. it is an incredible coincidence (or is it? 👀) that i was just talking to Risa about tenco's this (edit: yesterday) morning so i am extra double super in the mood to talk about Tenco's Story today. so excellent of a coincidence is this that i am tempted to refer you to them in case you wanted to hear their thoughts on the matter that would probably turn out super cool, but that is neither here nor there; let us talk Tenco's Story.
i of course must mention my unadvertised and modestly detailed commentary on tenco's i-iii at https://shidiand.tumblr.com/tencos, presenting slightly interesting facts in an unwieldy and difficult-to-use format, but as it dates back to june 2017, i want to take some time to understand my feelings about the series once more.
tenco's story is a series that has a lot of meaning to me.
i took on my current name of shidiand in november of 2013. i was still in 11th grade at the time, 4th year of high school, and a very socially isolated person. i should say i was introduced to touhou in 7th grade, 2010, so i was still working through a 3 years-strong phase of trying to simultaneously both find an outlet for and bottle up an endless wellspring of awkward weeaboo-gamer nerd energy at the time.
i had my first real foray onto the internet in 2010, tried out twitter, followed some RPers and other people who had Cool Touhou Usernames. didn't really go anywhere. i had maybe 50 followers, i dont really know the count but it was definitely a) double digits and b) pretty low. didn't know what to tweet about. didn't know how to hit it off with others. i think there was basically maybe only 3 other people i ever properly interacted with. oh shit i was playing league of legends at the time. oh my god. i really did play league of .. oh my god. let's move on.
aw shit im super digressing amn't i. well.
this is just how it goes when i write essays on tumblr.com.
i'm afraid you're just along for the ride at this point so please do your best to enjoy it.
i got kind of tired of twitter at the time because i didnt know what to do with it. didnt know how to interact with people and didnt find the people i was following interesting, so i ghosted on out of there by the end of 2012. didnt deactivate it until like 2015 but at that point that was just burning away my dark history. anyways. november 2013.
--im taking a lot of time here trawling through old files on my computer, my tumblr blog, notification emails still lying around in my gmail inbox from twitter, the dropbox i didn't actually use but it had several tenco's story pictures on it but i deleted them so this was useless, ... to trace the timeline of this story and im really seeing a lot of remnants of dark history here you know? did you know i wrote a letter to a girl i had a crush on valentine's day 2014, slipped it into her locker, and anxiously hung around nearby at lunchtime to see how she reacted at lunchtime? i certainly didn't, or at least i made darn ass sure to forget about this incredible virgin incident and not remember it, ever, until i came across the records of it that i thoughtfully preserved for the me of 5 years later today. ok well now i have to read the letter to see if it was as bad as it just sounded there brb
ok so the good news is that it was actually very focused on being positive and full of admiration for the cool things she did instead of being a confession letter so i am very glad i was able to be a respectful chad 5 years ago, but the bad news is that the jokes, the actual sentences i put together. oh my god. but i mean. well. at least i got the spirit. its certainly a step up from this other person in my grade, WEEABOO ANDREW, YOU MAY RECALL THIS STORY AND HIS NAME FROM PREVIOUS STORYTIMES, THE MAN THE MYTH THE LEGEND who came to school on halloween once cosplaying kirito from sword art online and got very possessive about people asking if they could hold his black replica plastic sword, and probably worse, dropped a "will you be my girlfriend" letter into the locker of my homie and fellow trombonist samantha, who was a little bit nerdy, hung out with the anime-likers who were actually sociable and fun to be around so you can imagine why weeaboo andrew was into her, which had i) a direct quotation from SAO chapter 16.5 (origin of the famous "glopping noise" line), and ii) a condom. jesus christ. i dont want to talk about this any more. next topic.
i also put this drawing of iku nagae and her skarmory (actually an albinoss from 18 DRAGONS) on the other side of the letter because it was the coolest thing i could think of drawing at the time. and i completely agree with 2014 me because it IS super fucking cool. hell fuckin yeah
https://shidiand.tumblr.com/post/76301993387/iku-nagae-ft-that-thing-that-supposedly-is-a
alright that was a fun little trip down memory lane but lets get back on track. november 2013. i started anew as shidiand. still awkward, still learning how to express myself and looking for my place among others. i followed some touhou bloggers, hung around r/touhou a lot as well. in december i got my first tablet for christmas, a wacom bamboo splash. i still use this thing! the usb cable disconnects if you bump it so i have to find just the perfect position to sit in whenever i want to draw, but its served me well. anyways. i was just starting to play around with digital art but i remember, probably just before new years, for some reason i wanted to find out more about tenshi hinanawi (i don't remember why. tenshi wasn't even one of my favourite characters at the time) so i went googling and right there on zerochan i found this:
https://www.pixiv.net/member_illust.php?mode=medium&illust_id=23525572
this was during my dark souls phase so i just went BANANAS at the sight of this. this was literally the coolest image i had ever seen in my internet life. That image alone made me want to draw in hopes that I could make something as cool as that someday.
it wasn't immediately after but i soon discovered tenco's story, and it was love. kannnu was my very first artistic inspiration, and for a long time, my only one. i absolutely idolized them at the time. since then, ive found other artists to look up to, in a more healthy manner, but to this day i still look up to kannnu, still admire their work a lot.
i played around with drawing, followed the lives of people on tumblr, started reading touhou fanfiction, made a new twitter. i met a lot of new people along the way. some people i havent stuck with, some i cut ties with, and some people i still keep in contact with today. over those long 5 years of being shidiand, i found a name (i used to use shidian and then shid, but someone called me shidi once and i realized that was a lot better), how to reach out to others, how to express myself, places that i could feel included in. this is why i owe a blood debt to evelyn, who permitted me to kneel at her throne and was like "yea ok you can join my discord server u seem cool". evelyn, if you were confused by me ominously mentioning this blood debt/blood oath in a tumblr reply 1-2 years ago, this is the context. those 5 years were like a coming of age of sorts, that i never had when i was in high school.
and my love for tenco's story, that inspired me to draw that day, has been with me since almost the very beginning of my time as shidiand. from the beginning, i have always encouraged people to READ TENCO'S STORY, like the kin of those who cry PLAY MELTY or WATCH SYMPHOGEAR. i think my very first sidebar description was something akin to a prayer, written in very choral language, hoping for the day tenco's story iv was completed, ..., "meanwhile, furious shitposting". kannnu's work, finding delight in whatever they chose to draw, has been at my side, all along. my true mentor, my guiding moonlight...
so that's why i still to this day love tenco's story so much.
let's talk about tenco's story.
tenco's story is a story told through single pictures. the plot is vague, and details are sparse. dialogue is rare. we only know what has happened; we seldom know why. furthermore, there are many gaps between scenes that the reader is left to fill in for themselves; we see only snapshots that form an hazy outline of the events that occurred, and must imagine the rest. motivations and explanations fail me. but even with a barebones plot, tenco's story has themes, and if nothing else, those have to be carried through.
the main theme, of course, is journey and travel, but there are also other ideas, too. i actually think they start to change as the series goes on:
book i, where tenshi runs away from home, is about striking out on your own. it's a very fun and unpredictable journey, together with a friend.
book ii, where tenshi and iku are separated, forces tenshi to find and rely on companions of her own even more. but they do so, and they are able overcome hardships, and there is food and festival.
book iii marks a climax, reasserting tenshi's goal of finding the sword of hisou. i feel like the journey shifts from a travel (visiting) to a path forwards (making your way through). perhaps this is just something i get from knowing the locations from dark souls (Anor Londo, New Londo Ruins, the Great Hollow), but the locations start to give more of a sense of verticality, like they're emphasizing tenshi's climb to the summit. the hardships and enemies are the greatest they've been yet, and right when they near the top, tenshi and iku start to bleed. the book ends on an uncertain note.
if i had to describe the type of journey and travel that tenshi and iku undertake, there's this sense of wonder at discovering new places, wandering from vista to vista in delight, but also a sense of conquering, making it through a difficult patch. the sequence from pages 2-44 to 2-51, taken together, convey this sense of overcoming the best. it's one of my favourite parts. again, although the tone definitely starts to lean towards struggle in book iii, i think tenco's sense of wonder really is the heart of the series. there's no map of the world, no predicting where tenshi and iku will end up next. and through their travels, though they come across many enemies, they also find friends -- places of refuge, places full of life, people who will look after them for a few days, companions who will stay with them for the rest of the journey. at the end of book iii, we see a long haired tenshi with purple hair being impaled by the sword of hisou (3-33, see also this extra illustration that risa pointed out to me http://sinnnkai.blog.fc2.com/blog-entry-195.html), and regular short haired tenshi continuing on her journey (3-42). if we ignore the out-of-story images where tenshi has the sword of hisou, tenshi has actually only ever used her sunlight blade (2-24, 3-26, etc), so i think that the long haired tenshi on 3-33 is a different person altogether. (if i had to guess, she might be the purple haired woman in the top left of https://www.pixiv.net/member_illust.php?mode=medium&illust_id=35443328 as we have never seen that woman appear anywhere.) she probably has something to do with the flashbacks at the end of book ii and she might somehow be short-haired tenshi at the same time, but this is just speculation.
however, in 3-43, tenshi's hair is rather blue, so i don't know if this is the purple haired woman or not. if it is, tenshi is probably still fine and closing in on the summit, but if it isn't, then it's very worrying to see a picture of tenshi without any of her companions. it's very ominous.
meanwhile, iku, while climbing the red carpeted corridor, is stabbed, and disappears for a few pages. there's a black page, a shot of a shrine that strongly resembles the hakurei shrine, and a picture of iku standing behind someone in a tux, with the line "In the past, I was saved by the lady I was serving, you see?". and then iku wakes up in a field of flowers.
i think what this scene makes clear is a theme that has continued to appear and reappear throughout every book of "being saved, being aided by someone's kindness".
i think another theme that is implied and has to be addressed by this story of running away from home is "return". something im imagining is that the reason tenshi makes finding the sword of hisou her goal is because she wants to have something to prove herself with, to vindicate her when she comes home. but i don't think she needs to prove anything, and i ultimately think that she would be happier spending the rest of her life exploring.
so i think this should be what happens in the ending.
open on iku's journey, and give her a long sequence of travel without seeing tenshi. underline her newfound resolve. she climbs to the summit with albinoss, and finds the rest of tenshi's companions fallen. and in the last room is sword of hisou tenshi, who has lost herself, and it comes down to iku to bring her back. after a difficult battle, when both of them are on their last legs, iku is unable to stand any longer. but at this moment tenshi sees her companions struggling to get back up and reach her, and that's what brings her to her senses. and iku gets to see how many friends tenshi's been able to make on her own, and they finally and properly reunite. together, tenshi and iku carry each other out of the last room.
i don't think it's necessary to return to heaven. as a conclusion, dedicate some time to tenshi and iku travelling together. they're on their way back, revisiting old friends who helped them along the way, enjoying the journey. their last stop is the house of the elderly nawis (1-42). tenshi shows off the sword of hisou; she decided to keep it not as a trophy to show her family but as proof of the bonds of her companions. surrounded by friends, tenshi and iku decide to part ways with each other, knowing that the other will be alright. iku drifts among the clouds once more, and tenshi sets off for the horizon.
that's the plot that i'd write/just wrote. i don't really expect tenco's story iv to ever come out, though. i mentioned my first sidebar description earlier in this essay, but of course, you can see that it's been changed. 2 years ago, i read my hopeful prayer once more and was struck with a terrible melancholy, so now it reads this: "having come to terms with the fact that tenco's story iv will never be released, i can still live, knowing that the spirit of the journey will live on through kannnu's original works [...] meanwhile, furious shitposting".
on one level, tenco's story is a story, but in the process of following it, i came to think of the work itself as a journey too. you can constantly see kannnu's improvement between and even within each book. they have always drawn whatever they liked; what plot matters in the face of "I wanted to draw a beautiful sky." "I wanted to draw a fantastic battle." "I wanted to draw Dark Souls and Monster Hunter and Pokemon and Brave Fencer Musashi and Bokura no Taiyou and Touhou."
its not really kannnu's style to go back and tie up old ends. they just draw whatever makes them happy. so as i watch them continue to draw beautiful places and fantastic creatures, new characters heading out on journeys of their own or just enjoying their everyday lives, it's as if tenco's story never ended. the limits and consistency of that world ignored, and a new one springs up; in a way, the world of tenco's, which had such thin boundaries, just gets bigger.
but even so, having said all that, i still see them draw that short-haired tenshi from time to time. it makes me happy to see them remember tenco's story with such fondness. often crossing over with orion or roar or elweiss, you can see tenshi on another journey.
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*ahem*
You might be wondering: What the fuck is this bitch doing back here?
Well.
Tl;dr: I fuckin missed?? Interacting with other writers and seeing their posts on my dash? Like, even if I had no idea what some of you were talking about, there’s something comforting and good about seeing other creative people do creative stuff and it’s just inspiring and nice!!! I wanna keep up with my favorite people on this stupid website and I couldn’t do that without this blog.
I mean I could ... but it’d be a pain in the ass to start from scratch.
Now, for the people who will inevitably think my departure was a STUNT to get more ATTENTION because I’m an attention-vampire who will DIE unless people lick my posts ... I’m not here to prove you wrong, because I know you wouldn’t believe me anyway, and also I don’t owe you shit. I will say that leaving and losing followers because they believe the blog is dead seems a bit counterproductive if you want more followers, but whatever, man.
I don’t regret leaving. That’s the thing. I did what was right for me then, and even if I knew I’d return back then, I’d still leave. (But maybe say it was a hiatus instead of a full goodbye, but ya know, hindsight and all that.) I honestly had a super great time away from writeblr and I would and will do it again sometime. In fact, I’ll keep doing it. I’m still doing it.
You see, eff-writes is gone and won’t return.
But Eff, yours truly, is still here. I will follow @brynwrites‘ example and simply stop being a writeblr. I need somewhere where I can just ... talk. Ya know? About stuff. Like, I saw Venom yesterday. Where would I post about that? My WIP blog? My art blog? My book blog? Make a movie blog while only being able to actually see new movies like once a month?
Again, some of you might think that I’m not making a new main blog because I’m “popular” here (Am I though? Am I?) and don’t want to lose my followers.
And like. Yeah? More followers means more people to interact with. (When 90% of them aren’t quiet, that is.) I have built up an audience over the course of uuh years? So you’ll excuse me if I feel like it’d be a waste to throw all that effort away.
Anywho, I think I needed to be away from this place to realize what was good about it, because when I left, I could only see the bad, and found no reason to stay. I needed a proper hiatus, and until now, I didn’t know how to actually DO that.
From now on, I won’t be a part of the writeblr community or call myself a writeblr or interact with writeblr content (aside from individual writers ofc). I will probably be doing NaNo but that’s not exclusive to writeblr. I’ll just be here sometimes, updating whenever I feel like it, chillin, enjoying content from my buds while shitposting about stuff that happens to get stuck between my last two braincells.
So yeah. That’s about it.
#blog stuff#personal#bitch didn't even last a month away from here#that's how much i missed both seeing and being seen#and no i won't be removing the parting words post#i like to be transparent about stuff
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i was at northeast trek con this weekend, if you couldn’t deduce it from my posts that must have sounded like they were coming from some sort of hallucinatory trip. to say i had fun would be a wild understatement. if you slot this con on an alignment chart, it would be wall-to-wall chaotic good. the theme advertised was celebrating the 25th anniversary of ds9... and boy did we celebrate.
what follows is everything i feverishly tweeted about the wildest 72 hours of my life.
the only reason i went to this con at all was @thylekshran, who wanted to see one mr. jeffwey combs very badly. @jadziadax happened to say to me one night, “hey you should go to this con happening where you live to see nicole,” and i said, “wait a minute, isn’t this the con dylan wants to go to? what if i actually Did go to this?”
friday: i grabbed dylan, somehow, from the bus stop that i think didn’t quite exist on this plane. we get to the con and we walk into the exhibit hall. nicole is right by the door and i cannot look at her, so we beeline for vendor tables, and suddenly before me is an extremely familiar spread of colorful images. it takes me a minute to process it, and then i’m pointing to this table and rushing toward it going, “OH MY GOD. IT’S HER! FROM TUMBLR! OH MY GOD WHAT.” it was none other than @abravenoise selling prints!!!! i had no idea she would be there since i didn’t look at anything before i left the house. just fyi she is irl just about the nicest person i’ve ever met!!!!!! and i’m so glad we got to hang out as much as we did!
we spent the day mostly going to panels and being big baby chickens regarding jeff’s and nicole’s tables, respectively. we did end up at jg hertzler’s table A Lot, because dylan, like, is recognized?? by him and his wife??? idk dylan’s just out here charming the pants off everybody, so i was like, okay cool, this is the first thing that is Totally Fine, just chilling with martok. we also met two cool dudes through jg who really enjoyed hanging out with us, and that was great! making friends all over the place! not the first and not the last!
one thing dylan and i were bummed about was that the klingon meet & greet party that night (where jg and robert o’reilly would get in costume as martok and gowron and duel to the death) was sold out. we really really really wanted to go... so dylan just... straight up asks jg if he can get us in dhfklshdfd. and you know what? he fucking does. just... put our names right on that list! O K A Y!
the friday panels were a sign of what would be to come, every one we went to was crazy. this was my first real trek con, so of course i have never seen hertzler and o’reilly in a room together, but now i have and my third eye is open and all that. not to mention: learning that garrett wang plays pokemon go, nicole cracking up at poop jokes like i said, hertzler doodling a little shran with glasses on jeff’s sign, the con’s power point file just being named DRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR. everything that was happening was so good.
chase masterson had a panel about her pop culture hero coalition, and currently working for a non-profit myself, i was really curious about what kinds of programming they do, so i went to her table to talk to her about it. chase ended up talking some about the why’s of starting the coalition, what it meant to her, her own struggles with depression, and i’m thinking to myself, “uhhhhhh well if chase is gonna share about her mental health struggles, then... i... will also do this.” the nanosecond i said something about experiencing difficulty with self-love, she was zeroed in on me like a cruise missile. i spilled everything to her about my job and how my old boss was basically the meanest, most miserable person alive, and how much she got into my head and how now that i was out of that department, i had to pick up the pieces and it was proving to be much harder than it has been in the past. well, god almighty, chase just had the nicest things to say in return, and we commiserated over being your own worst critic, and how ridiculously hard it is to have this fight against yourself over and over again, but that we deserve so much and going forward is worth it. jesus christ! i got a big hug and said to myself, “holy shit i can’t wait to tell my therapist that a star trek actor talked to me about mindfulness and now i want to learn the hell out of it.”
oh but then it was time for the klingon party that we were now going to thanks to jg hertzler. this thing was off the chain immediately, martok and gowron had their duel, first with sparkling bat’leths that fell apart, and then with whole baguettes, and i can’t believe i got to watch this with my eye parts. and that was the beginning; the party would go for another 3 hours, almost all of which i spent dancing with the most generous people i’ve ever met, who went out of their way to welcome everyone they could onto the dance floor, regardless of physical ability or skill level. there was one woman in particular who, if she saw even the slightest twinkle in your eye and you weren’t already dancing with her, she’d be like, “you, get over here!” i don’t know how my body did that for all that time without falling apart.
our esteemed guests began showing up, and garrett wang leapt into the middle of our jump around circle and gave each one of us a vulcan high five. jeffrey combs showed up which of course sent dylan over the moon, and he said, “you go, girl!” to her dancing. max grodenchik gave dylan one of his drink tickets and then asked us whether or not we thought the existence of god could be proven. chase found us and reached out her hand over a couple people’s heads to give me a supportive hand squeeze (!!!???). aron eisenberg, i don’t know what the hell he was doing, but i feel like maybe somebody asked him about terry, because all of a sudden i hear something like, “terry left because she was in love with nog and couldn’t take it anymore.” garrett has three pokemon go accounts, which he showed off at my urging, and let me tell you, don’t encounter him at a gym because he has three dragonites, two tyranitars, a monster blissey, and god knows what else. dancing, dancing, more dancing. then it was time for it to be done, and time to go home. we watched reanimator. i was wired as hell and barely slept.
and THAT. was only friday.
saturday: i had kept my eyes open for a copy of the lives of dax the day before, but didn’t see anybody selling one. this morning, i walk by a booth we went to the previous day and all of sudden, on top of a bunch of other books in a big tub, there it was!!! couldn’t have forked my money over faster if i tried.
then i had this bright idea. hey... here’s a copy of lives of dax... and nicole is here... and she should sign it... and then in the future i can get terry to sign it... boom, bang, let’s do it, right? i had dylan drag me to nicole’s table because i was like, “i am never going to make even eye contact with her if you do not physically take me there,” and one of us brought up that we missed her at the klingon party. it’s cool, we all gotta sleep, right? well, it turns out nicole had gone out with the gaaays in spaaace people to the bar where they were going to have their party later. so she says garrett texts her, “uhhh hey you know you’re kinda supposed to be making an appearance at this thing, right?” nope! no clue. so she texts him back, “hmmm uhhh well,” takes another sip of her drink, “i think i’m doing good work here.”
the thing about nicole that i somehow missed in my drinking in of all ds9 actor content is that she embodies pure shitposter energy, but if the shitposts were coming from a wine mom. she’s hysterical, 50% intentionally and 50% unintentionally. an extremely excellent human. she signed lives of dax, i had my tribble photo op with her later (that i almost missed due to getting into a conversation with larry nemecek!) and she said she was going to the gays in space party later. helllll yes. i hope somebody puts up her q&a because she told a RIDICULOUS story about auditioning for ezri and creeping on jeri ryan on a plane. i can’t do it justice, there are movements that have to be seen.
we went to combsland finally, and i grilled him about whether or not herbert killed the cat, and we learned jeff has two cats! show them off, man! where are the vids! then, and i had never planned to do this, i bought an autograph from him, and the shran i bought it on ended up selling out! crazy.
hertzler had doodled a martok above his table, and so this combined with the little shran from yesterday led me to these words coming out of my mouth: “can i pay you for a drawing? can i pay you for a drawing of jadzia and martok brofisting?” he gave it very serious thought, said he was gonna have to look at a lot of pictures of terry (relatable), and told me to give him my e-mail. between him and his wife, i hope to god one of them remembers my e-mail is in his wallet. let me give you money!!!
my next tweets jump right to gays in space - again, dylan knows a lot of the gis folks, so i didn’t feel like i was going into this totally unawares. we’re chilling at the bar, i’m drinking my cranberry juice, and then o’reilly, aron, and nicole arrive, telling everybody that jg’s probably going to be late because a bouncer pushed his wife and he might go to jail. like, kidding, but also... it’s jg hertzler and he could legitimately fuck you up. so he was gonna be late, regardless.
nicole sees dylan and me and comes to say hello (????!!!!!) and somebody ends up saying, “get this lady a drink!” yeah, dylan and i were on that. in fact, i pulled my credit card out like i cared not one bit about identity theft, fico scores, my own personal finances; i would purchase this alcohol in an alley from a guy using a card skimmer. few minutes tick by and then i’ve officially bought a drink for nicole de boer (?????????!!!!!!!!) and i’m giving it to her (????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) and we’re clinking our glasses together (?????????????????????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) i’m clinking glasses with nicole fucking de boer and somehow managing to be normal about it. i’m not altogether convinced i didn’t exit the universe entirely by this point and end up in another one.
the gays in space party was AMAZING, it was just as fun as the klingon party! if you have a chance to go to one, please do, there’s like no way you could ever regret it. you get treated to star trek-themed drag shows, get to mingle, there was a raffle, the people were just as friendly as the previous day, it was so great. we were out very late for my old lady body clock but it was worth every bit of exhaustion we felt the next morning, after the saga of actually getting home past a blocked off road and dylan slicing herself open on the bottom of my passenger seat.
sunday: nicole sees me, mid-yawn, and gives me one of those, “eyyy you and me went through some shit last night huh?” looks and tells me good morning. ( ? ? ? ? ? ! ! ! you know this drill.) combs ended up on the escalator behind us after his panel and i turned around and i said to him, “hey jeff, you got any pictures of your cats with you?” (no, but he has a black cat and a very vocal calico.) i went to chase’s table again and got another hug right out of the gate, we took a pic together, and she told me i was powerful! yo! or rather yooooooooooooooooooo!
the con was winding down at this point, but there was one more thing left: jeopardy. the jeopardy game was done at the first northeast trek con and was so popular they did it again, and i really, really hope someone uploads it to youtube because it is beyond description. first of all, the whole draw were the contestants: you could enter a raffle to end up on either hertzler’s, aron’s, or garrett’s team. the champion from the last game ended up buying half the tickets, so he was on it again, and not on aron’s team, much to aron’s annoyance because god almighty did he want to win. he was about to commit murder in there. someone said nicole was upset that she wasn’t in the game because she really wanted to play, lmfao. so the guys running it were like, “well, go get her, she can be on garrett’s team!” which sent aron into a fucking tailspin. now we got a team with two people on it?! they got nicole and drew the other winners, and the game began.
one of the rules was “this isn’t going to be fair. at all.” actually, it was two of the rules. despite this, you’d have thought aron was bitten by a rabid raccoon. every lost question almost got him flipping the table over. nicole belatedly, i’m talking like 5 minutes into it, realizes she doesn’t understand the rules of jeopardy and can’t figure out why “their” question was answered by someone else. she can’t believe someone knew what voyager’s registry number was. one of the questions was, “a young kid called ensign kim this name instead of ‘ensign’,” and with no hesitation, she answers, “asshole,” and wasn’t even joking, that was her actual guess. R E A L W I N E M O M H O U R S
the winner was hertzler and the previous champ. aron wants to ban the guy from buying tickets ever again. we head to the closing ceremony but it doesn’t happen? lmfao. well, guess the con’s over!
@abravenoise, one of our other con pals, and dylan were all taking the same bus that night, so we all went to grab dinner with two other guys, one who was a con pal and one i hadn’t encountered at all, and halfway through our dinner larry nemecek strolls in and sits down with us. things just keep happening, huh? the guy i hadn’t encountered at all was really impressed with me unhinging my jaw to consume my burger, and halfway through doing this i have to stop because he says, “hey, why the HECK did jadzia die?!” ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh here go hell come. my time to shine.
larry like looooves asking people what brought them to star trek, and this time he was asking us the -whys- of what brings us to star trek. i said the characters, for sure. he asked us about our favorites. i told him mine had changed throughout my life, but that when i was a kid, dr. crusher was my first favorite. he said, “in high school?” i said, “no, i mean, when i was REALLY little. like 4 or 5.” he asked me, “wow, have you ever met gates at a con and told her that?” pfft well, no, but first of all, now you got me wanting that, second of all i said what i really wanted was to swap cat pictures with her.
that was the end. i took everybody to their bus, went home, snuggled up in bed, and just asked myself, “what the fuck happened?” i still don’t know! but it was fun as hell, and amazingly impactful, if i’m being honest with you. i was surrounded by so many people brimming with enthusiasm, so many people who were happy. then there’s me, a curmudgeon who’s done everything in her power to stamp down her happiness all in the name of being ~cool or whatever. and it hasn’t made me very happy. i mean, i am also clinically depressed, there is that. but i’ve stopped sharing the things i enjoy with others, especially in recent years. i’ve closed myself off, mostly out of fear and attempting to survive my old job, but even here, i tend to keep myself at a distance, and i thought it was just because i’ve run the whole gamut of loving something before and just want to hang out with my friends. i think it’s more than that, though. i think it’s more of a defensive posture, and it’s that same posture which is running my life right now. it’s exhausting. this weekend wasn’t exhausting. it was in the sense that the human body needs rest and sleep and food and i wasn’t getting nearly enough of any of it, but emotionally, i was unburdened.
it would be nice to be that way all the time. i don’t know if it’ll be possible to be happy again like the people i met this weekend, but i do know that i want to experience this over and over and over again.
now, next time, maybe @rootmacklin and @jadziadax will be with me and we’ll be showing off our friendship necklaces to a very tall lady. that would be a good step toward unlocking my happiness...
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are requests still open? :D I would like to request for a Keisuke Shijo fluff/nsfw (*´꒳`*) he's from Liar! Office deception(: he's such a babe but there's currently no fanfic for him yet coz.. he's pretty new? If you haven't played the game yet, then I would like to request for a eisuke/ota fluff(*´꒳`*). Thank you! You're an amazing writer(: all the best💜
Hi anon! Unfortunately, I haven’t played Liar yet, so I chose to write some Eisuke fluff instead (I hope you don’t mind). Thank you for the compliment and I hope you like this ^^!
Title: tête-à-tête
Summary: Eisuke can’t keep his eyes to himself, while she makes a mistake that’d seemingly jeopardize her. It doesn’t.
Genre: Fluff, Romance
Pairing: MC/Eisuke
a/n: this fic is based on this post i made a while back lmao. i’m kinda proud of turning a shitpost into an actual fic :’) also, eisuke and mc are dorks.
@maidofstars @2bedroom-baddestbidderlove @bolt8826
@ada254 (THANK YOU FOR YOUR IDEAS IN THE TAGS!!)
“This is a pain,” Luke said, moping. “I came all the wayhere only to find out MC isn’t here yet.”
“You do know that you’re required to be here for auctionmeetings, right?” Eisuke sipped his coffee, not even bothering to hide hisdispleasure at his own tasteless brew.
“There’s no point in being here if I don’t get to see hermagnificent collarbones today…”
“Aaand there he goes again,” Ota commented.
True enough, the penthouse wasn’t as lively as it ought tobe with MC absent. Eisuke could feel his mood quickly dampening at the taste ofcoffee that wasn’t hers. He had half a mind to page her just to salvage histaste buds, but he had to restrain himself. She worked herself to the boneyesterday, and was feeling a bit guilty.
“Well, collarbones aside, MC really is cute, huh?” Babaadded.
Eisuke felt a stinging pain in his mouth, only to realize hebit his tongue at Baba’s statement.
“Aw, come on, guys. Don’t look at me like that. Are yousaying you all seriously haven’tthought that at least once?”
The room grew a bit silent at the thief’s retort, and Eisukefound himself musing on it. Baba wasn’t wrong in the least. She was very easy on the eyes, what with the wayshe smiled at him and carried herself around him. She wore the maid’s uniformalmost every single day, but he wasn’t a fool not to see that she was hidingsomething special underneath all that. He’d be a blind idiot to thinkotherwise—not that he’d ever admit it out loud, though.
“I guess she has nice legs,” Mamoru said, taking anotherdrag.
The thought of MC diligently cleaning the room, clad in herfitted, work-prescribed stockings conjured not-so-innocent images in Eisuke’smind.
“Oh, so you’ve got a thing for legs now, Mamo?” Ota teasedback.
“Shut up. You see ‘em just as much as I do.”
Her bending down,looking for something underneath a couch, her rear facing me—
“Boss?”
Baba’s voice shook Eisuke from hisdefinitely-not-work-related trance, and Eisuke had to hide his irritation, lestthe others have an inkling of his definitely-not-work-related thoughts.
“You’re oddly quiet today,” Baba noted, the smile neverleaving his face.
“Unlike some people, I have better things to think about.” Says the man thinking about her bent over.
“Really, Eisuke? We all know you think she’s cute, so don’tbother hiding it,” Ota added smugly.
“Whatever.” Like hellI’m telling you that.
Not long after, they heard a soft knock from the door, andsure enough, she had arrived for the day’s cleaning. The others stared at heras if they had seen a ghost, but she could only look back at them curiously.
Talk about bad timing—
“Uh, is there something going on?” she asked tentatively.
“Nothing you should concern yourself with, MC!” Babachirped. “Don’t worry your pretty little mind about us.”
“Okay…” She didn’t look convinced, but she started cleaninganyway.
Try as he might, Eisuke couldn’t keep his eyes off her evenif he wanted to. Either Baba’s comment got to him, or he was starting to losehis wits.
Either way, he had to admit, there was one thing thatbothered him about Baba’s comment.
She’s definitely morethan just cute.
That night, Eisuke plopped down on his bed. It had been along day full of meetings that seemed to drone on and on, and he wanted nothingmore than to just sleep his troubles away. He unbuttoned the topmost buttons ofhis shirt before letting out a sigh.
This bed’s way too bigfor just one person.
Not that he wanted a smaller bed, but lately, he wasstarting to feel something every timehe saw the cold, empty side of his bed.
Without warning, the image of MC, immaculately sprawled on his bed, dressed in nothing but his shirt, appeared in his mind. Ashiver went down his spine before he begrudgingly realized that he should not be thinking those sorts of thingsabout his employee, of all people. Ugh, Baba’s rubbing off on me.
His phone buzzed next to him, and he scowled at the sound.Whoever the hell wanted to disturb him at this ungodly hour was about to get apiece of his mind. He was about to send the interloper a scathing reply when hesaw MC’s name on the screen.
Strange. He couldn’t remember the last time she texted himfor anything. Most of the time, their form of communication consisted of himpaging her, or the occasional call from him. She never initiated contact, asfar as he could recall. If he was being completely honest, it disheartened him.
Curious, he opened her message only to be met with asurprise.
“Holy shit. Holy fuckingshit.”
The “message” she had sent him wasn’t a work-related text oran innocent greeting. No, her message was the farthest thing from innocent—it was a picture of her in front ofher bathroom mirror, wearing nothing but lacy lingerie that left nothing to theimagination.
He had to refresh the message twice just to make sure itreally was her, and not some fantasy conjured by his overworked mind. No matterhow much he re-opened it, all he could see was her, clad in a lacy black bikiniset he never would’ve thought she’d dare to wear. Who knew that under her maid’suniform and her quiet countenance was a stunning body and an even bolderspirit? Mamoru may have called her a kid all the time, but the cop was a blindfool as far as Eisuke was concerned.
The real stinger was the caption that came with the photo:
[Do I look good inthis :) ?]
Good god, she’s goingto be the death of me.
Why the hell would she send him this? It feltout-of-character for someone as shy as she was, but he couldn’t find himself disappointedat the situation. In fact, if he had to say, he was almost…ecstatic, even. If this was her way coming on to him, then Eisuke wasn’tcomplaining anytime soon.
Nevertheless, he was still her boss. The rational side ofhim urged him to delete the photo and erase everything from his memory.
But, goddamn it, you’vewaited so long for an opportunity, and it looks like she made the first move.
That was also true. God knows how many lonely nights he’dspend with only his right hand as company and images of her lost in the throesof pleasure. He’d die before saying it out loud, but nothing save for her her seemed to excite him anymore. Thecompany of other women did nothing to rouse his blood, but even her mostmundane gesture sent him into a spiral of dwindling self-control.
He stared at the photo one last time. Maybe this was hisreward for months of sleeping alone. If there was a god out there, then damn,maybe he’d start praying if this was what faith got him.
Tomorrow, he’d confront her about it. For now, he desperatelyneeded a cold—no—freezing shower torelieve him of the uncomfortable tightness in his pants.
I’m seriously going tolose my mind.
Impatient as he was, Eisuke couldn’t wait for the next dayto come. He paged MC up to his office as soon as soon as he arrived thatmorning. If he was anxious or excited, he couldn’t tell at this point; all hewanted was to see MC as soon as possible. He even prepared some wine for themto hopefully get the message across.
He heard her knock on the door and beckoned her to come in. Eisukeschooled his most neutral expression while she looked adorably flustered,fiddling with the hem of her uniform.
“MC, you know why I called you in here, right?” he askedher, pouring some wine to appear casual.
She gulped before answering him.
“Is it because I accidentally sent you my nudes…?”
…What?
He froze and stopped pouring the moment he processed herwords.
“…Accidentally?” Thewords were ringing in his head as she nodded back at him. Suddenly, he wantednothing more than the ground to swallow him up and erase this memory from existence.
For a while, they both remained in painful silence. Theawkwardness was so palpable that Eisuke wondered if she wanted to hide in ahole as much as he did. Her unabashed blush seemed to indicate it.
But wait a minute, he thought. If she sent him the pictureby mistake, then that meant someone elsewas meant to receive it. As far as he could remember, she wasn’t dating anyoneat the moment.
Or was she? Shecould very well be dating one of the other auction managers right now and hewould be none the wiser.
He felt a pang of white-hot fury at the thought of one ofthem raking their eyes all over her, pressing their lips on her smooth skin,savoring the cries from her lips and—
“Mr. Ichinomiya,” she said, looking away from him. “Just…pleaseforget this ever happened. It was a complete accident, and I swear this’llnever happen again—“
“Who did you mean to send it to?”
“E—excuse me?”
“Just answer the question.” For my peace of mind.
She was still blushing, but she forced herself to speakanyway.
“…Look, I don’t know why youhave to know, but my friend gave me some lingerie as a birthday present, andshe wanted me to send her a picture to show that it fit me. Your name justhappened to be next to hers on my contact list, so…”
Eisuke inwardly let out a sigh of relief. If it had beensome cretin, god knows what he would’ve done.
“Sir, I really think you should just delete the photo andpretend this never happened.”
True, he probably should. If he were a good boss and apolite gentleman, he’d delete the photo to save them both the potential trouble(not to mention awkwardness) in the future. Then they could both resume theirlives as if nothing happened.
The only problem was he was neither of those things.
“How about this instead?” Eisuke suggested. “It’d be unfairto you if you were the only one in a compromising position. I’ll be sure toreturn the favor, then we’ll be even. Deal?”
“I really don’t understand…”
“You’ll see soon enough.” Eisuke took a long sip of his wine,easing his earlier tension.
“By the way, you didn’t look half-bad.”
If she was blushing a while ago, then she was positivelybeet red now.
“Oh, um, thank you…”
She left his office after giving a hurried bow, and Eisukecould only smirk at how his plan would come to fruition very soon.
That night, MC plopped on her own bed, dead tired from theday’s events. Today was absolutely mortifying,to say the least. She really hadn’t meant to send him the godforsaken photo,and she thought she had sealed her doom the moment she realized she sent it to Mr. Ichinomiya, of all people.
God, I really thoughtI was gonna die back there.
But the look on his face when she told him it was an accident—itwas the same look he’d always have whenever he drank someone else’s coffee. Itwas the look he had whenever he’d try to pet an animal, only to have it claw athim in retaliation.
It was, dare she say it, disappointment.
Come on. Like he’d bedisappointed by something like that.
And yet, the look on his face when she told him the picturewas meant for a friend—it was undeniably relief.
She didn’t know what to believe anymore, and there was afluttering in her stomach she couldn’t shake off. It only grew worse when sheremembered his earlier compliment.
Get it together, MC!He’s your boss, for crying out loud.
Her phone buzzed, and she picked it up only to see that Mr.Ichinomiya sent her a text.
After what happened, she could only feel apprehension atwhat was to come. Surely, he was going to fire her after today. God, now she neededto look for a new job, too. Great.
Shakily, her finger swiped the phone screen to open themessage.
“…What is this?”
The room suddenly became very warm, and all the blood rushedto her cheeks the moment the screen changed.
It wasn’t a brief text, but rather, a picture of himself. Hewas standing in front of his own bathroom mirror wearing only his blackboxer-briefs, giving her a delicious, unadulterated view of his lean, chiseledbuild. She had to gulp at the distinct V-line that ran down his hips and into…that place.
There was a caption that came along with the photo, and MChad to blink twice to make sure she wasn’t seeing things:
[Now we’re even. Belatedhappy birthday ;)]
Facing him tomorrow was going to be one hell of a task.
#Anonymous#spade writes#kbtbb#kissed by the baddest bidder#voltage inc#eisuke ichinomiya#mitsunari baba#ota kisaki#mamoru kishi#luke foster#fic#fanfic#fanfiction#voltage fanfic#plot twist: MC IS JUST AS THIRSTY AS EISUKE IS#god i've been meaning to do this for a while and i'm glad i finished lol#im sorry this was meant to be fluffy but it ended up becoming suggestive instead lmao#otp: thank you for being born
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20 followers I’d like to know
I got tagged by @crewmanjeeter! (like, a week ago... oops)
1) Name/nickname: Laurin, there’s not really a nickname for Laurin in the U.S., but people in Australia have been calling me Loz/Lozza and I like that a lot
2) Gender: Female
3) Star sign: Taurus
4) Height: 5′5″. And I’m the short one in my family (they’re all Tall)
5) Hogwarts House: Ravenclaw (with Slytherin undertones)
6) Favourite animal: Right now it’s red foxes
7) Hours of sleep: Since I’ve been in college I’ve been a lot better about this, I average 7-8 on school nights?
8) Dogs or cats: Both! I grew up with both so I can’t choose (though right now i want a cat)
9) Number of blankets: As many as I can get without overheating
10) Dream trip: Italy/the Mediterranean
11) Dream job: Astrophysics researcher! Dream-dream job? Scientific educator in the vein of Carl Sagan, Bill Nye, Neil Degrasse Tyson, etc.
12) Time: 5:52 pm AEDT
13) Birthday: April 26!
14) Favorite Bands: Right now it’s Misterwives, Imagine Dragons, and Bastille. And also Panic! at the Disco, Florence + the Machine (in that they’re technically bands, I guess?)
15) Favorite Solo Artists: Sara Bareilles, always. Also Halsey, Bishop Briggs, Marina and the Diamonds, and Taylor Swift (she keeps pulling me back, okay?? her old stuff is GOOD)
16) Song Stuck In My Head: Most Girls by Hailee Steinfeld
17) Last Movie I Watched: I think it was Kingsman 2?
18) Last Show I Watched: The new Crazy Ex-Girlfriend episode!
19) When Did I Create My Blog: Late summer 2011- a long-ass time ago
20) What Do I Post/Reblog: Fandoms and shitposting mostly
21) Last Thing I Googled: trump twitter- I was trying to figure out what happened yesterday
22) Other Blogs: I run a studyblr ( @bi-stronomer ) and a blog about my study abroad experience that I haven’t updated in a while (oops). I used to have a Nancy Drew games quotes blog, but I let that die bc I got tired of making the images
23) Do I Get Asks: Pretty much never
24) Why I Choose My URL: It’s the shortened version of “turquoise8″, which was taken when I signed up on tumblr originally. I’ve been using the same username on everything for my entire online existence, tracing back to webkinz and club penguin. if you see a turq8/turquoise8 on a website, there’s like a 90% chance it’s me
25) Following: 471
26) Followers: 418
27) Lucky Number: 8
28) Favorite Instrument: I like hearing strings in songs, but I wouldn’t say I have a favorite instrument
29) What Am I Wearing: a short-sleeve shirt and jeans, and my big cozy sweater bc i have to blast the ac in my room during the day if I want to sleep at night.
30) Favorite Food: seafood always
31) Nationality: American, but I have Canadian citizenship too
32) Favorite Song: Out of Tune Piano by Misterwives probably right now
33) Last Book Read: The Raven King I think? I’ve got a big “to read” list though
34) Top Three Fictional Universes I’d Like To Join: Probably Harry Potter, that’s a given. The Bright Sessions universe? That one’s pretty low-key, especially if you have a power that you can keep under control. Ooh! The Good Place, but in the part of the universe that’s the actual good place.
I’m gonna tag @ifoundaflamingsword, @dare-to-do-our-duty, @ablackberrywinter, @hydraxx, @welcomedears, @alexanderssecretboyfriend, @indecisivehannahk, & anyone else who wants to do it (though if I did tag you, you’re under no obligation)!
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