#theyve been stuck in my mind all day
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CANT CATCH ME NOW ?! - leaving them behind
they see you everywhere. james, jonggun, joongoo. they find bits and pieces of you lying around in their pockets, their houses and memories. it depends on which one it is which scene they see you in.
DG VER. gun ver. goo ver.
for james, he sees the sight of you in the crowd when he first started as an idol. he catches himself hoping for a glimpse of you in crowds as he did before. maybe you just show up at one of his concerts one day. he knows its a childish hope to think you'll come back. especially not when theyve all pushed you out of their lives.
but was it such a hopeless thought to have? a particulary fond memory of seeing you in the front row at barricade. hopping down and singing his lyrics to your face. fans thought you were just a really lucky person to catch the attention of DG, minimizing it to a harmless fan interaction moment just for the concert.
he loved the way your eyes twinkled underneath the stage light illuminating your face in a mesmerizing glow. he recalled the heartbreak when they were all gathered up at your apartment.
it had become a haunting memory of seeing the house abandoned. the only thing left was a small ragged old scarf you insisted on keeping
"yknow! one day for my super awesome snowman! ive been waiting for winter to come in korea so snow is finally here!" you tell him with a giddy grin at the mall. your loose baby strands around your face and your face bare with nothing on it standing out to him.
you always mentioned you wanted to experience the snow. you said you didnt have it where you were from. far too sunny for that you said.
"you wont have to wait long. it get cold fast in korea" he tells you. chuckling as you hold the scarf in your hand while picking out more winter items.
how unfortunate. it was snowing right now. he wondered where youve gone. maybe youve died off, its better for him that way. that way he wont have to think about whether or not youve settled down yet. maybe gone back to your old country or somehwere new.
maybe youre out on a date somewhere, possibly 6 feet down in a ditch. his mind wanders when it comes to you.
reading the note you left behind for him. written in a sparkly pen you always used.
"why do you have so many pens and only use one?!" he questions you with a raised eyebrow. his long fingers unzipping your pencil pouch and looking through all the pens you own.
"you cant expect me to use all of them. plus my papers look sparkly this way and its cute. the design is cute and i like how it writes!" you chirp at him. turning behind you and hitting his forehead with your pen. "red hair... i like you with your curly red hair. reminds me of someone i used to know" you tell him.
curling his hair around your pen before dropping it when you hear the teacher say your name and turning back to the board. your hair whipping him in the face "im innocent!" you joke with your hands raised causing the class to laugh.
you tell him youre sorry in the note. that you couldnt handle it anymore.
you tell him everything but telling him nothing at the same time. telling him of how you felt like everyone else was moving while you were stuck in the present. everyone was special and you were not.
he let the paper drop down after skimming the rest of its contents. he wished to just crumple it up and tossed it away. he couldn't.
he knew he was being selfish wanting you back when youve clearly stated in the note this was out of youre pure will, leaving them behind. he wouldve cried. he wouldve cried if he was james lee.
all he could do was pick it back up and meet back with gun, and goo.
it was gonna all be in one set page but i found that it was longer than most of my other projects if i actually completed this whole
so i broke it up
like the friend group
ha
i caught up with lookism
i like the new pretty boys :3
ALSO QLSO I HAD AN ENTIRLY SEPRATE DOCUMENT FROM THIS AND I ACCIDENTALLY POSTED MY UNFINISHED STUFF BC I ACCIDETNALY POSTED IT INSTEAD OF COICKING DRAFT SO I HAD TO COPY AND PASTE ALL OF THIS PARAGRAPH BY PARAGRAPH TO THIS PAGE THINGY BC IM ON THE PHONE TYPING ALL PF US THIS SO A+ FOR WFFORT
did not proof read (bc im insecure abt my works 😔🤞)
#gun lookism#lookism x reader#lookism#gun x reader#goo x reader#james lee x reader#dg x reader#lookism scenarios
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everything happens for a reason part 22 - zuko x fem!reader
I've been waiting on you
part 21 | masterlist | part 23
a/n: UHHH happy one year anniversary of me not updating!! i missed it by a day but honestly that's very in character. i kind of have no excuse for taking a year long break from this. lol. all i can really say is i lost all my avatar inspo and got really into a bunch of other things and poor little ehfar got left in the corner abandoned!!! but i could never abandon this it's my baby and even if it takes me 1000 years to finish it i will finish it. it's kind of embarrassing that it took so long for this to come out and it's a short filler chapter like who do i think i am.... but everyone is happy and on the beach and yn finally gets some clothes of her own after spending like 7 chapters in prison clothes. anyways enjoy (three more chapters left what?? will it take me 3 years who knows)
wc: 4.8k
warning(s): yn and zuko talk about their pasts and what theyve been through but overall this is a very fluffy chapter
chapter title from seasons (waiting on you) by future islands
The days after their arrival back to the island passed by with relative ease.
Y/N practiced waterbending with Katara and Aang so she could work on getting the hang of it again. She’d been close to mastery before Ba Sing Se, and her muscle memory was stronger than she realized, but prison and the months without her bending had weakened her. Zuko continued working with Aang on his firebending under the looming deadline of the comet.
Sokka and Suki trained with each other too, working on their hand to hand and sword fighting, and Y/N would occasionally join in to stay sharp on what Suki had taught her back in prison. Her time without her bending made her realize how much she relied solely on it, and she never wanted to feel defenseless again.
They continued to share stories every night over a campfire. They all had plenty to talk about after everything they’d been through, especially when Zuko had been against them for half the time, Suki was leading the Kyoshi Warriors, and Y/N was stuck behind bars.
And of course, Zuko and Y/N spent as much time together as they possibly could. They were practically attached at the hip—sitting together at meals, watching one another bend on their breaks, training against each other the way they used to, exploring the island together, just being with each other. After everything they’d been through, Y/N thought they deserved it.
Eventually though, it was decided that they had to leave. Being in Fire Nation territory, even in the middle of nowhere, was risky. They were running out of food and supplies in general, and the possibility that Fire Nation ships would still somehow discover them weighed on their minds. They couldn’t afford to get caught so far into their mission, especially with the traitor prince of the Fire Nation on their side.
Zuko’s idea, however, was possibly even riskier.
“Ember Island?” Y/N asked hesitantly. “That’s… bold.”
“We’re already being bold by staying in Fire Nation territory,” Zuko said. “We’re safe from Azula for now, but it’s only a matter of time before she somehow finds us again.” He shrugged. “My family’s vacation home is the last spot anyone will think to look.”
“I think it’s a great idea,” Sokka said. “It’ll be nice to not fight for our lives for a minute before we make the final push.”
Aang adjusted his hold on the reins—they’d already packed up Appa and started flying before Zuko proposed his idea—and shrugged. “I’m okay with it. Zuko and I will be able to keep training, and you all can relax in an actual house.”
“And we’ll be able to go to the beach!” Toph exclaimed. “I’ve been meaning to work on my sandbending. And,” she grinned, “I’m betting none of you have heard of sandball fights.”
“We’re really getting ourselves into something,” Katara said dryly.
Y/N smiled and she leaned into Zuko’s side. He wrapped his arm around her immediately and pulled her closer.
“I’ve always wondered what Ember Island was like,” Y/N mused. “I was always so jealous when you and Azula got to go there on vacation every summer and I was stuck at the palace.”
“You weren’t missing much,” Zuko said wryly. “Yeah, there’s beaches, but mostly it was just unbearably hot.” He frowned. “My father still made me do work even when we were supposed to be on vacation. I’ve done a lot of swordfighting here.”
“I missed you,” she said, and she knew that she would never get tired of seeing Zuko’s cheeks flush red.
“Really?” he asked. “Even then?”
“Especially then,” she clarified. “It wasn’t like I had much going on for me there. The palace was extremely boring without you.”
“Spirits, you guys are gross,” Sokka groaned as he looked out at the sky. “Suki and I haven’t been like this, have we?”
Katara chuckled. “You definitely have. You could barely stay off of each other when you got back from the Boiling Rock.”
“Just imagine what they were like when they first got back together,” Zuko said with a frown.
“Neither of you can say anything,” Toph asserted. “I can hear both of your heartbeats shoot up every time you’re around Y/N and Suki.”
Zuko scowled, Sokka’s face flushed, and Suki and Y/N just smiled at each other.
“So Ember Island is a yes?” Aang asked. When everyone nodded in agreement, he looked at Zuko. “I’m in need of your navigation skills, Sifu Hotman.”
He groaned. “I told you to stop calling me that.”
“I know,” Aang said cheerfully.
Zuko just sighed, and he kissed Y/N on the cheek before he moved to sit next to Aang. She smiled, and she let her hand hang over the side of the saddle.
“...I guess it is nice not seeing you two argue all the time,” Sokka said after a moment.
“It’s nice that you two aren’t moping around all the time either,” Toph added. “That was kind of annoying.”
“Imagine how I felt,” Y/N said, though it was absent minded as her gaze stayed on Zuko.
“I don’t have to imagine it,” Toph said. “You were very clearly mopey.”
“And when you weren’t mopey, you were angry,” Suki contributed. “You said you were imagining Zuko’s face whenever I taught you new moves at the Boiling Rock. You beat him up a lot there.”
Sokka and Toph laughed, but it was a moment before she said anything. It took Katara saying her name for her to turn back around, and when Y/N did, she blinked for a moment. “What?”
Katara chuckled, glancing at Zuko before she looked back at her. “We’re just glad you’re back.”
Her expression instantly brightened as she smiled. “I’m glad to be back.”
-
It didn’t take long for them to arrive at Ember Island—and if it did, Y/N was far too busy conversing with her friends and watching Zuko for it to matter. She grimaced as she slid off of Appa, one hand taking Zuko’s and the other wiping a bead of sweat from her forehead.
“Spirits,” she mumbled, “I thought I was used to Fire Nation heat by now.”
“Me too,” Sokka groaned. “But this is already worse than all the other places we’ve been to.”
“Ember Island’s always been like this,” Zuko said. “The good news is that it’s Ember Island. There’s plenty of beaches—we’ve even got our own private one.”
“Good for practicing waterbending,” Katara said with a glance at Aang.
“Good for practicing all kinds of bending,” Zuko said. “You’re gonna need to practice your firebending every day if you want to stand a chance against my father. We’re running out of time and you’re nowhere close to being a master.”
Aang frowned. “Way to bring down the mood, Zuko.”
“I’m being realistic!” he defended. “You can’t just end one hundred years of war with some good luck and an optimistic mindset!”
Sokka shrugged. “It’s worked for us so far.”
Zuko opened his mouth to say something that would definitely cause an argument. Before he could, Y/N laughed, looping her arm through his and tugging him along.
“Come on,” she said. “Show us around.”
Zuko sighed, though his show of annoyance was negated as he pulled Y/N closer. “Fine. It is about time I’ve brought you here.”
“Ugh.” Toph kicked at the sand with her foot. “I think Zuko’s just brought us along on his couples vacation.”
“Oh, quiet,” she joked. “We’ve earned it.”
Toph stuck her tongue out. “Doesn’t mean we can’t complain about it.”
Y/N chuckled as they walked together, the rest of the group trailing behind them.
“Spirits, Zuko,” Sokka marveled when they stepped inside the house. “This is huge.”
“It is the summer home of the royal family,” he said dryly. “My father never settles for anything less than perfection. It also gave us more room to avoid each other when he was causing arguments.”
“I can’t imagine that happened a lot,” Katara said sarcastically.
“Never,” Zuko agreed with the same tone. “He almost burned down the place a few times.”
Aang frowned. “Sounds like a great guy.”
“I know you’re not a violence guy, but if there’s anyone you’d enjoy fighting, it’s my dad,” Zuko muttered.
“I’ll do it for the good of the world,” Aang said. “Not because I’ll enjoy it.”
Zuko grimaced and opened his mouth to say something, but Y/N interrupted once more before they could devolve into this conversation again.
“Like Sokka said, this place is huge.” She placed a hand on Zuko’s arm. “Will we have our own rooms?”
Zuko’s brows creased a bit, but he nodded after a moment. “Yeah. There should be enough for all of us.”
“Suki and I can share,” Sokka said, stretching his arms out casually to reach one around Suki. She laughed and leaned her head against his chest, and he looked far too pleased with himself. “Tryna make up for lost time, y’know?”
“Gross,” Toph scoffed. “I’ll take my own room, please.”
Aang glanced at Katara for a moment before he cleared his throat and nodded at Zuko. “Yeah. Me too.”
Katara was too busy looking at a mask sitting on a mantle. She picked it up and glanced back at Zuko. “What is this from?”
“One of my mother’s favorite plays,” he said. “She was an actress before she married my father, and every time we came here, we’d always go see some shows. They gave her the mask of the lead character after the end of one production a few years ago, as thanks for her patronage.”
“Oh, we should definitely go see a play while we’re here!” Y/N exclaimed. “I got my hands on some old play scripts when I was still working in the palace, and the other servants and I would spend hours reenacting our favorite parts.” She chuckled. “It would be nice to see actual actors do it.”
“We should be able to carve out some time for that,” Zuko said. “Between all the training, of course.”
“You are such a downer,” Aang groaned.
“I’m seeing the full picture!” he defended. “We’ve still got a lot of work to do—just because we’re at our vacation home doesn’t mean we’re on vacation.”
“After all this is over, we definitely deserve a vacation,” Sokka muttered. “Before all the rebuilding and restructuring and relegislating starts…” The smile fell from his face. “Wow. We’re never gonna get a vacation.”
“Oh, perk up, ponytail,” Toph said. “We’re going to end the endless war and defeat the undefeatable Fire Lord. If we want to take a vacation, no one can really stop us.”
The smile reappeared with surprising quickness. “That’s true!”
Zuko laughed softly. “Your rooms should be on the first floor. You can explore and divide the rooms yourselves. I,” he looked at Y/N, “want to show you something.”
She smiled as Zuko pulled her closer with an arm around her shoulder and made for the stairs, leaving a rapidly growing argument over room selection in their wake.
“Do you think they’ll have decided by the time we get back down?” Zuko asked.
Y/N shrugged. “This is the first time they’re sleeping in rooms instead of camping on the ground in… Spirits. Since Ba Sing Se, I think. I wouldn’t be surprised if they go at it all night.”
He chuckled as they stopped in front of a room, and Zuko pushed open the door so they could walk in together.
“This was my room whenever we came here,” he said. “I figured we could share it.”
“This is the height of luxury,” Y/N commented, stepping out of Zuko’s embrace to run her hand over the sheets. Her lips quirked into a smile. “I can’t believe you slept on a bed like this every night.”
“You’re telling me they don’t have this kind of stuff in the North?” Zuko asked wryly.
“No,” she chuckled, “definitely not. We were more focused on not freezing.”
“Well, we’re more focused on pointless displays of luxury,” he said, “so you’re not too far off.”
Zuko ignited the tip of his finger and began lighting candles around the room, and Y/N glanced at him with amusement as she sat down on the bed.
“Mood lighting,” he explained with the sliver of a smile. “I think we deserve some time alone after the past few days.”
She pressed a hand to her chest. “You know the way straight to my heart.”
Once he was done he sat down next to her, and Y/N intertwined their hands together and pulled him down so they were laying on their backs. She rested her head on Zuko’s chest and he moved his arm around her to keep her close, tracing lazy circles on her shoulder.
“Wonderful mattress,” she sighed. “So this was what you were up to while I was sewing clothes and doing endless loads of laundry.”
“I thought about you a lot more than you probably think,” Zuko said. She turned her head a bit to look at him, slightly surprised, and he shrugged. “Honestly? When we were kids, I thought about you pretty much constantly. My father always told me not to talk to servants, but I didn’t see you as anything other than my friend. You were… kind of my only normal friend.”
“Well, you were kind of my only friend, period. All the other servants were way older—they just felt like a different version of my mom.” Y/N’s gaze rose to the ceiling. “I wonder how they’re all doing.”
“They should be okay,” Zuko said. “No one really caused as much trouble as we did.”
Y/N laughed as her gaze flitted around the room, taking in all the details. A portrait of the royal family hung on the wall, while a much smaller, lone portrait of Zuko sat on a desk in the corner. He didn’t look very happy, but she couldn’t imagine sitting for that many paintings as a child was fun. What looked to be a half-finished message sat on the desk, the ends of the scroll rolling up and obscuring most of the inked letters. A neat stack of towels and blankets were on top of a clothing chest in the other corner, and she chuckled a bit. In her experience of doing his laundry in their youth, it seemed to be something he still hadn’t grown out of.
“I can practically see little Zuko running in here after a day at the beach,” she mused. “The ends of his clothes singed from fighting with Azula, his hair drenched from swimming, getting sand all over the sheets.”
“I wasn’t that messy of a child,” he complained. “I… I did come home with my clothes singed a couple times, though.”
She chuckled. “I know. My mother had to fix a lot of your outfits because of it.”
“It’s not my fault that ‘hide and blast’ was her idea of fun!” he defended.
“Hide and blast?”
“One person hides, the other person searches. By… blasting fire everywhere.” Zuko shook his head. “I don’t know all kids around the Fire Nation were as crazy as us or if Azula invented it herself.”
“...Yeah,” Y/N said with a slight laugh. “We definitely didn’t play that in my village.”
“Of course you didn’t,” he said. “None of you were firebenders.”
“I was the only waterbender in the village though,” she said. “There were a couple other earthbender kids, but it made me feel so special. We would always play together and try to mix our bending together.” A small yet wistful smile tugged at her lips. “That feels like forever ago, though.”
“I know what you mean,” Zuko murmured. “I was banished three years ago, but a lifetime has changed since then.”
“For the better?” Y/N murmured.
She could feel Zuko nod. “Definitely.”
Their door was then pushed open more, and Suki poked her head in through the gap. A grin appeared on her face at their closeness.
“I see the lovebirds are making themselves at home,” she mused.
Y/N laughed as she sat up, pulling Zuko with her. She smiled at the sight of his flushed cheeks. “We’re trying.”
“We believe in knocking here in the Fire Nation,” Zuko grumbled.
“The door was open,” Suki said cheerfully. “And I’d like to steal your girl for an afternoon outing.”
Her eyebrows shot up. “What for?”
“Well, I’d like to explore the island some, and I figure we’re the lowest profile out of our whole group,” she said. “We’ve also missed out on some shopping while we were stuck in prison—we’ve gotta get our hands on some Fire Nation clothes.”
Y/N’s eyes lit up. “That’s a great idea! Leya’s dress is beautiful, but Earth Kingdom clothing sticks out a bit more than I want.”
“And I’m in literal prison clothes,” Suki said. “The sooner we’re in red, the better.”
“That’s… probably smart,” Zuko amended. “There’s some gold pieces in my bag. It should be more than enough for both of you.”
“Are you sure?” Y/N frowned. “You don’t have to—”
“You think I didn’t take a bunch of money from the palace before I left?” Zuko asked wryly. “Don’t worry about it.”
Suki’s smile grew. “Just call it reparations.”
Zuko huffed a laugh, but Y/N cut him off as she pulled him in for a kiss.
“You’ll be alright while we’re gone?”
“Of course,” he said. “This is my home, after all. If anything, I should be asking you that.”
“I’ve got the leader of the Kyoshi Warriors with me,” Y/N said. “If anyone decides to mess with us, it’s going to be their problem—not ours.”
Suki laughed and gestured with her head, and Y/N stood up and started walking backwards. “I’ll see you later—try to have some fun here.”
“I don’t have fun,” he called out as she was walking out, and she just shook her head with a smile.
“You’re really dating a ball of sunshine there, aren’t you?” Suki joked.
Y/N bit back her growing smile. “I wouldn’t have it any other way.”
-
The rest of the day went by in a breeze.
Y/N and Suki spent a few hours in town, chatting and shopping and even doing some reconnaissance at the end, just to make sure they were truly undercover at the vacation home. Doing rookie spy work with a Kyoshi Warrior was surprisingly just as fun as the shopping part—and after what she and Zuko did to free her village, it was surprisingly easy.
The sun was still high in the sky when they got back, dressed head to toe in Fire Nation finery. Zuko and Aang were in the midst of training when the two of them went around back to find their friends, and when he saw Y/N, his fire died out and his eyes nearly popped out of his head.
(“Yeah,” Zuko had stammered when she asked his opinion, “You look really good.”
“Thanks,” she said, and she felt the heat rush to her cheeks. “I feel pretty good.”
“Fire Nation clothes suit you,” he said, and he pulled her into a kiss. “It’s about time you’ve gotten some.”
“Technically, I wore them for a few months,” she said wryly. “Prison clothes and all.”
Zuko scoffed. “That doesn’t count.”
“And I wore them for most of my childhood,” she mused. “Servant clothes and all.”
“That counts even less!” he insisted.
“But thank you,” Y/N finally said with a smile. “I was hoping you would like them.”
It was an effort to bite back her joy every time Zuko would sneak a look at her while they continued their training.)
The rest of the day was just mostly spent getting used to everything. The last time the vacation home had been occupied was when Zuko, Azula, Mai, and Ty Lee visited, so a lot of adjustments needed to be made.
Katara insisted on washing all the sheets, and Y/N decided to join in because of her waterbending—Aang wanted to talk with Katara, Zuko wanted to be with Y/N, Toph wanted to ask him a bunch of questions about Ember Island, and Sokka didn’t want to be left out, so soon enough, the seven of them were all sitting on the steps of the house doing laundry and telling stories.
Soon enough, the sun had set and the house had been cleaned what felt like ten times over. Everyone had retired to their own devices except for Y/N and Zuko, who were walking along the shore arm in arm.
“I think I like beaches,” she mused. “The nearest ocean had no beach back home, and all we had in the North was ice. You Fire Nation folk are lucky.”
Zuko chuckled. “I don’t know if it’s luck. We’re just one big island with a lot of humidity.”
“Still,” she leaned her head on his shoulder, “it’s nice. We should visit here together once all this is over.”
“Of course,” he nodded. “I know I’m going to be the Fire Lord if all goes well, but there’s going to be a lot of diplomacy trips.” She felt his eyes on her. “You can join me on all of them.”
“Of course,” she repeated. “The Fire Lord’s Earth Kingdom-born, waterbending girlfriend will be so welcome.”
“If you’ve learned one thing through all of this, it should be that I don’t care what anyone thinks when it comes to you,” Zuko said. “I want you there with me. You want to be there with me. That’s reason enough.”
Y/N chuckled, and she ran her thumb over Zuko’s knuckles. His hands housed callouses, borne from hundreds of hours of explosive firebending and sword-fighting and years of life on the road. She always wondered how hands that treated her so softly, that revered her, were so capable of violence.
“I know there’s going to be a lot of expectations for us,” she said. “Especially once you take the throne. But I— I’d like to take things as slow as we can.”
“Of course.” Zuko squeezed her hand, his brows creasing. “I don’t care what anyone says or wants or expects. I love you, Y/N—we’ll go at our own pace.”
“It’s just because we’ve spent the past year trying to kill each other,” Y/N said with a nervous laugh. “If we could spend this next year being in love with each other, that would be really great.”
That actually got a laugh out of Zuko, and he gestured with his head towards the sand. When they sat down, he pulled her into his side. They fit perfectly together.
“Don’t worry,” he murmured. “I think we’ve already gotten a headstart on that.”
“Good,” she said.
Y/N sighed as she moved closer into Zuko’s embrace, his warmth a shield from the cool night breeze. She’d always run cold, and having a personal hearth made things much easier.
“I wish we didn’t have to go through so much to end up with each other,” she murmured.
“Believe me,” Zuko sighed, “I know.”
“But my mother always told me that everything happens for a reason,” Y/N said. “And… I guess she’s right. Because I don’t think we would be here if all this hadn’t happened.” Something inside of her twisted, and though she tried to suppress it, the words came out before she could really think about it. “And sometimes I— I wonder why I’m still here.”
He frowned slightly, allowing a short glance down at her. “What do you mean?”
“I mean… you know what I’ve had to go through to get here. My village, the palace, the North, this journey with Aang, the capital prison, the Boiling Rock…” she shook her head. “Countless others have died or gotten hurt trying to protect me or save me. Our group— we were the first ones ever to escape from the Boiling Rock. So why do I get to be here? Why is my father gone, but I’m still here? I don’t deserve it more than he did. I certainly don’t deserve it more than Yue. So… I don’t know. Sometimes I just can’t understand why I’m the one that got to make it when so many others haven’t.”
“Don’t say that,” Zuko urged.
“It’s not the way you think,” Y/N said honestly. “It just feels like we’ve beaten every single odd.”
“Maybe we have,” he said, “but it’s certainly not out of luck, or chance.” Zuko took her hand and intertwined their fingers together, giving her hand a squeeze. “You fought every step of the way to get here—a lot of the time, you were fighting against me. You’ve earned every good thing you’ve gotten, Y/N, and I think I might spend the rest of my life trying to be someone worthy of you.”
“Zuko,” she lamented, “you already are.”
“It’s not the way you think,” he echoed wryly. “I’ve loved you since the beginning, and despite everything, you still love me too. You kept giving me chances because you believed in me for some stupid reason. I wouldn’t be where I am without that—without you. I want to be the best version of myself every day so you know you made the right choice.”
Y/N felt the heat rush to her cheeks as she smiled, squeezing his hand back. Nowadays, they were almost always touching in some way. Tonight reminded her why—she never felt more comforted, more at peace, then when she was with Zuko.
“You… kind of just hit my next point,” she said with a nervous chuckle, curling into his side further.
“Don’t tell me it’s more self-doubt,” Zuko said.
“I can’t help it!” she defended. “I— I just have to make sure.”
“Of what?”
“That…” Y/N paused, her mouth suddenly dry. “That I’m still the one you want. Even after all that’s happened. After all that’s going to happen.”
Zuko frowned, and he took her other hand, lacing their fingers together. “Of course. Y/N, it’s always been you. It’s been true forever, even if I haven’t always known it.”
“It’s not going to be easy,” she said softly. “I’m Water Tribe and Earth Kingdom. Your people aren’t just going to accept that, especially with you as their leader.”
Zuko actually laughed at that, and he gave her a sideways smile. Months ago, staring into his hardened eyes used to bring her close to tears. Seeing him smile now, reassuring doubts that seemed so pointless in the face of his love—even after everything, Y/N considered herself the luckiest girl in the world.
“Y/N, we’ve gone across the whole world doing things no one ever has,” Zuko said. “The seven of us are going to end a war that’s been going on for a century. Aang is going to defeat my father, and he shouldn’t even be alive. We’ve beat every single odd against us. I think getting my people to like you will be the easiest thing we have to handle.”
“You think so?” she asked. The tension had dissolved some from her shoulders, her worries dissuading with each honeyed word.
“I know so,” Zuko assured. “I’m gonna have to change the Fire Nation from the ground up. There’s no one else I’d want by my side while I do it. My people will see you the way I do, and they’ll love you just as much.”
Y/N leaned closer and pressed a kiss to his lips. Sometimes she still couldn’t get over the fact that she could just… do that. Just kiss him, just smile with him, just be happy with him. Yue shone down on them as she pulled away, Zuko’s features glowing in the moonlight, and Y/N hoped her friend knew she was so much of the reason she’d gotten here.
Happiness seemed out of reach, out of her cards entirely, for such a long time, and when she had it, it always felt like such a precarious thing. Sometimes she still remembered those days in the tea shop, the night in the catacombs.
But with Zuko finally by her side, it was a tangible thing. Something she deserved. Something she already had.
“We’ll do it all together,” she murmured.
“Together,” Zuko agreed.
And she laid back down on the sand, bringing Zuko with her. He pulled her closer, tucked into his side as he wrapped his arm around her. They laid there in silence, Zuko’s warmth heating her from the inside out, staring up at the starry night sky and reveling in the feeling of just being with each other.
Together.
-
i'll tag ppl here because it's been uhhhhhh fucking YEAR and everyone's prob forgotten it exists and i also did tag lists while this was coming out but please do not ask to be added bc i dont do them anymore!!
ehfar tags: @chandies-sideblog @zacatecanaaaa @anzanity @randomthingssssss @escapingthoughtsandsecrets @shanksfav @shephard17895 @ilovespideyyy @whats-my-question @selfship-mishaps @ilistentotayswifttocope @i-make-questionable-choices @3leni @thatobsessedreader @lostgreekgod @oriontingz @zerode-unhinged @badpvn @mimi-sanisanidiot @adhdhufflepuff @aquaamethyst96 @hollyismentallyillhelp @holypoetrygarden @islandgayneery @pitrii-petra @jinxed-jk @veras-fanfic-reblogs @cloud-9ine @lucifersidepiece @kiskzawagnerwhore @froggi-00 @eajalova @mrsyixingunicorn10 @xxxxxxdelenaxxxxxx @cafesho @the-natureofme @whoevenfrickinknows @a-bit-late @zukowantshishonourback @settlebackeasy @jemssafespace @wildwallflower24 @calmoistorm @mich1551-blog @inutheangel @sagemastah @avrilh
#zuko x reader#zuko x you#zuko x reader fic#zuko#zuko fic#avatar#avatar the last airbender#atla#avatar fic#atla fic#avatar the last airbender fic#atla x reader#avatar x reader#sadie writes#ehfar
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Okay so absolutely loving your writing sm <3
So I had this idea while, of course, scrolling down the aaron x reader tag so like you dont have to write it if you dont want to but i wanna throw this out here bc otherwise itll stay stuck in my brain
But like reader who is just,, incredibly shy? Like in social situations they put up a front and you would never expect them to be shy because theyre very present and speak up often despite almost blending in the background when quiet. But its a whole other story at home and such?
Like, Aaron notices and first thinks theyre uncomfortable with him but he slowly realizes that this is like, their love language ig and showing vulnerability? Quiet time, acts of service and such yk? Like, they always put up a front and to drop that (not entirely ofc but a decent amount of it) is just the highest form of trust bc theyve been ridiculed for being shy? And the shyness is much more present in the bedroom, especially when he praises them they just get even more shy and hes just so so gentle :(( like asking if theyre okay, going slowly and asking to see them when they hide their face but never forcing them to and just like praising them when they do and the praise kink of them just sticks its head up and its just the purest form of being together? Like, its not rough but gentle and its soft and theres really no other word than making love for it and its all just :(( and the aftercare the man would provide is just AHHH😭❤️
Oh dear im so sorry but i got sucked into the fandom and got obsessed by hotch and then your writing so- this is so long so imma shut up now but i just needed to throw it out there tbh before id explode from all the hotch ideas i have in my mind that im not writing myself or giving to any writer bc what if they think the ideas are weird or too long like rn- but anyway imma shut up have a nice day/night and hydrate <3 (also you might see more of me if you dont mind long ass rants in the middle of it like this one- if you do mind just tell me to shut up im not gonna be mad or anything <3/srs)
-🧽
my sweet sweet 🧽 anon <33 this took me a while to write i'm sorry!! i hope you've been well!! i think about you a lot and i haven't forgotten the kind words you had sent to me <3 i hope you enjoy this!! (and ofc i don’t mind long rants i LOVE talking about aaron <3333)
nsfw - minors dni
♡ ♡ ♡ ♡
“Can I, honey?” you heard Aaron’s words as he wrapped his hands around your wrists.
You had been covering your face as you usually did when your boyfriend went down on you. After making you finish, Aaron had made his way up again, urging you nicely to look at him.
With a nod of your head, you gave him permission to gently remove your hands from your face.
“There you are.” He smiled at you.
“Hi,” you said, softly, unable to keep yourself from smiling a little.
“Hi,” he answered, just as softly. “Do you wanna taste yourself, baby?”
“Mhm…” You nodded, staring at his chin instead of his eyes.
Your own eyes closed involuntarily, as he lowered himself and his lips touched yours. You opened your mouth, allowing his tongue to touch yours. Knowing where that tongue had been before it was inside your mouth, made you even more excited for what was coming next.
Aaron placed his hand on your hip, giving it a squeeze and then moved it down your thigh, wrapping your leg around his body. “Open them wider, sweetheart.”
Only a few moments later, Aaron was inside you, rocking his body against yours, in a pace slow enough to be considered both romantic and tormenting.
“Ah…”
“Good?” he breathed heavily on your mouth.
“So good…”
“I love you,” he moaned, his face now buried in the crook of your neck. He left open mouthed kisses on your sensitive skin after every little whine of yours. “I love your body. I love the sounds you make. I love the way you take me like you were made for me.”
“I was,” you sighed, because you really were. There was no man in the world you’d let yourself be this vulnerable around, other than Aaron. Your Aaron.
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this post is abt my ocs so they have up to date context on this blog. i genuinely dont remember if ive made this post before, i could have, my memory is bad & i want to talk abt them so i dont mind repeating myself
selkie
& wolf
those r placeholder names but they dont get real ones
selkie is a selkie with no coat & wolf is not a werewolf but they were a werewolf like 5 mins before the start of the story.
setting is pretty generic grimish fantasy world where magic just got fuckign zapped out of existence causing all curses to break, thts probs been done 1000 times before but idc vampires have too let me live.
wolf is the first werewolf ever & theyve just been a giant wolf wreaking havoc full time for a good 1000 yrs or so, all other werewolves have a weaker version of their curse. it only affects them on the full moon bc thats the moon phase wolf (the person) was cursed on wweuueh wolf did stop wreaking havoc once a year on the day they were cursed, this became a holiday where locals vent their frustrations to the giant wolf that usually tries eating them every other day of the year, giving it to god kinda idea but for giant wolves.
now that everyone evers curse has been broken as a byproduct of magic being obliterated, wolf is a person. why doesnt magic being gone make them stuck as a wolf fuck off shut up. magic is what makes them a wolf thats how it works thats how magic works go to magic school idiot,
wolf is a person again, but god** forgot what they looked like before being a giant wolf so theyre kinda just whatever wolf felt like at the time now. despite it being their actual genuine fucking heart and soul and spirit in physical form, they arent super happy with it bc now they have to see their muther (who isnt dead) (despite 1000 yrs passing) who will probably be judgy abt their actual ficking hesrt and soul ajd spirit in physical form & that feels bad. so wolf wants to be a giant wolf again asap to avoid tht mother child reunion.
** there r two gods but one is dead but thats fine so like the world they live in is one massive dead gods head & the other one is like cultivating a mould population on it but the mould is the creation of man. the rest of the body is there too but ppl usually fall off & die trying to get to the neck & shoulders. they dont know its a head they live on though like its massive theyd never know, they just think some landmarks look weirdly like an ear & eye socket & stuff. the god tht is alive is like hes not a guy who glows god hes an unknowable being god but also i imagine the universe is in a shed & they are humanoid shaped so i dont rly . i do think dying and growing tiny teeny versions of your shape on you is cool
selkie lost her coat like ages ago and has been looking for it for years, but now that magic fucked off selkies cant even be seals anymore. so even if she got her coat back it wouldnt work. selkie is pretty bummed abt this, still wants it back but also feels like she wasted years of her life at the same time & wants to move on. relates to wolf on these things.
theres also a vampire who isnt a vampire anymoere but also sort of is but not really & he wants his ex wife back who dumped him for being miserable.
also probs an elf (the elves here are plant based not meat based & very magic based except not anymore)
all the fairies died bc i dont like faries. and i dont kniw how to spell fairies. theyre the only crestures that died with no magic only bc i dont like them.
so i guess the goal is wolf wants to shout at god. its like horton hears a who. watch horton hears a who thats this comic one to one.
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hi!
MASSIVE question thats been rlly heavy on my mind and i hope i can type it out to the point where u can understand bc im awful w words lol 😭
so, most ppl think that when you manifest you shift to a reality where u have it (i believe this too) bc ur shifting ur conciousness bc thats what we all are. pure conciousness.
but if we, or I, are all the god of our own reality, how are other people simultaneously living in it aswell? and ik eiypo but how does that work for other manifestors that live in this reality with us?
bc they are the gods of their reality too, but we share a reality, how does it work?? there cant be multiple gods in one reality. but how do we all live together here ?
also! when people go into the void and affirm for other people to go to the void, how does that work? because theve shifted to a reality where those people have entered the void, but that also means theyve shifted away from the original people who havent entered the void, isnt it impossible?
very sorry fir the long ask, justs so curious!! thank u <33
ahhh it depends which school of thought you prefer! (also you are not awful with words)
in one theory, it says that there is no one here except you, meaning everyone is you and you are everyone so there is no other, there is no duality. therefore there is no other god in your reality except you (regardless no one else has power over you in either case). you just are God. This is all your creation and it's a play and you're living in it. They're all forms of consciousness stemming from you.
in another pov, if you believe in the statement that everyone is a god then my assumption is that you all shift to a reality where that thing is possible. i have switched timelines accidentally where someone i was with did not recall something that happened (not because of faulty human memory, it is like that day just never happened). so if you don't wish to undermine someone else's free will but also maintain your own sovereignty as the ultimate creator of your reality, I would go with this. remember that no matter what you believe, you have full control of your circumstance as you are the Creator.
If you believe in a more spiritual side, your soul and their souls may have signed a contract in order for you to help them grow and vice versa. So the soul is real but the form is unreal.
well! i don't believe people can manifest for others in the void. the person in the void just has their 3d change to what they prefer. if you are someone who got help from someone in the void, you did not receive the help, you created it. it is all you.
im not gonna lie there are* a lot of things that don't make sense and fuck it, maybe they're not supposed to. i wasted a lot of "time" thinking about logic in a place where it doesn't exist. forget about all these questions and just focus on the end and let everything go even if it's hard or you will be stuck in a cycle that will be hard to get out of as there is NO answer thats clearcut. you can't really find an answer through reading, apply what you've learned and find out for yourself
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Hello. Do you have any thoughts about lg’s Mechanical Gear skin?
DO I!??!?!?!??!?!? I have so many scenarios so many ideas om so sorry youre only going to read absolute nonsense BUT
I have two main thoughts about Lucky Guy's Mechanical Gear that I love. 1) He's a fucking freak actually. 2) He's literally just a guy
My favorite is the former but I have surprisingly have more ideas with the latter
If we go with 2, Lucky's. Some guy that the research team picked up otw because he's wasn't infected. You've got this traumatized search team and this random guy they found outside the shelter THRIVING and going about his day as if it wasnt the FUCKING APOCALYPSE
They originally thought he was immune to the mycelium (because HOWWW HAS HE SURVIVED THIS LONG), so they brought him along, but Lucky insists that he is NOT. PLEASE STOP USING ME AS A GUINEA PIG FOR THE FUNGI PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE
They find out that he was waiting for Charles (Failed Exploration), who said that he'd be going out to find the possible "safe shelter" theyve been hearing about over their now busted radio. (Qi Shiyi and Frederick looking at each other knowing fully well that they met the guy on the way here with spores on his arms)
Charles DID get to the shelter before being infected, but wasnt allowed in. Since the team would be going on their journey, as precaution, they strictly enforced the rule that NO outsider could get in- infected or not. So theyre the indirect cause as to why he's infected 😋
From then on its nonsense, so moving on to 1: HE'S A FREAK!!!!!
Lucky Guy doesn't love the apocalypse, but he doesnt mind it. He's been following the same structure and routine for so many years that he would welcome a sentient fungi hellbent on taking over the world if it meant change 🫶
He's still scared of it, but he's not as worried about it as he SHOULD be. The team doesn't know what to do with him because someone who isn't 100% cautious of the mycelium is a liability (everyone in that fucking team is a liability they need to look at a mirror), but his loser charms have captivated them (He looked pathetic while begging to join them on their journey)
So theyre stuck with him!! Its not all bad, since he actually goes around assisting the group, and Lucky brings this sort of. Feeling of before. Before the apocalypse. Before the mycelium. He slowly becomes a source of comfort when things get tough
Branching off now, I think it. Would be funny if Lucky is immune to the mycelium in the sense that it cant trap him in his "greatest desire," which is simply change.
Unlike Frederick who desired "more beauty and splendor to greater heights," which was achieved in the Feaster's illusions, Lucky was content with what was happening in the present. It could be better, but in the end it's still "change" that was able to break him from his continuous routine.
Im imagining the feaster trying to trap him in an illusion like everyone else only to stop and go "huh. this guy's a weirdo actually." and deciding to just trap Lucky in the same scenario over and over: the apocalypse happening, accompanying the research team, finding the source of the mycelium, repeat w/o memories
It's ironic. Lucky's greatest desire is change, but he doesn't know that he's going through the same journey over and over again.
SORRY this post is 100% nonsensical rambling. First mistake was mentioning Lucky Guy. I cant be normal about this guy. Im so sorry.
#it was a trap btw i did this only to put lucky guy in another loop just like in midsummer misty mountains/j#i love putting him in loops. we should put him in more loops. i hate him. he must suffer. die.#identity v#idv lucky guy#idv#identity 5#lucky guy#idv lucky#identity v lucky guy#my asks!
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of all the things to just not bring up again about the events of kings tide, im surprised to see that luz being very nearly petrified didnt make that cut. like, she was seconds or less from being irreversibly turned into a statue, while nobody was around to help, completely at the mercy of belos.
sure, we saw this once before with eda, at the end of season 1, but shes a full grown adult, with a lot more experience being transformed against her will (what with the curse and all), and she had at least a whole day to come to terms with her impending demise, not to mention the years shes known she had it coming.
not luz. shes a child, the closest experience she had to this body horror was when she bodyswapped with eda for an afternoon, and she had maybe a minute, tops, between when her petrification was started on a whim and when it wouldve been complete. she was just a kid trying to convince an old bastard to stop his religiously-motivated genocide.
and somehow, she kept a cool head, cool enough to find a way out, cool enough to talk her executioner into stopping, and cool enough to turn the situation around on him right afterwards, flawed though that plan ended up being.
luz seems to have become the kind of person to be remarkably calm and competent under life-threatening pressure, only to pass that dread into the future. we saw this near the end of season 1 when she managed to walk all the way from the emperors castle to the owl house before finally breaking down, again when she was run ragged at the blight expo before coming home and crashing, and another time when she broke down as soon as the action stopped after the trip into the emperors mind.
ever since the end of season 1, she hasnt done a lot of panicking under duress like she used to do (like running away during the duel at the covention, and running from grom, to name a few), but she almost always brings it up again eventually, from her pride over the piece of the emperors mask she chipped off in their first fight, to the constant angst about the revelations in hollow mind, she clearly processes the emotions from those scenarios eventually.
not so with her petrification.
i suppose i can chalk it up to another casualty of the cut, but its really a huge shame that all we get to worry about from the events of kings tide is "the child god is running loose on the boiling isles while were stuck on earth, unable to ensure the safety of our loved ones", and then theres the whole new/old thing of belos somehow still being around, and it just feels so disconnected from that plot.
their time on earth couldve been a deeply emotional unpacking of all the stuff theyve been going through while they try to make it back, mixed with whatever adventures can be had, repeated failures and lingering repression leading up to luz's attempted narrative suicide, but instead we got "look how sad this all is, but look at all the fun times weve had, but now look how much sadder luz still is than everyone else, despite all those fun times we just showed you, and wOAH WATCH OUT! BELOS!"
idunno, one of the biggest reasons ive gotten into fanfic in the last month has been to explore the emotional consequences of all that stuff. one of my favorite oft-overlooked traumas is that luz had to endure the encroaching effects of a rather horrific death while simultaneously lying her way out of it, succeeding by such a small margin that it may as well have been a fluke that she survived at all. lots of potential for angsty nightmares and such, but none of it explored.
#the owl house#toh#luz noceda#eda clawthorne#emperor belos#toh spoilers#season 3 spoilers#thanks to them
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Twenty Questions for Fic Writers
@starquestingfordrarry ahhh thank you for tagging me, these are such good questions!
1. How many works do you have on AO3?
41 +1 unrevealed +6 that ive hidden
2. What’s your total AO3 word count?
238,631
3. What fandoms do you write for?
only harry potter atm but i have written other fandoms before and i am psyching myself up to write some pjo/hoo next year
4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
Best Kept - drarry, secret relationship, EWE, E, 7k
How Does Your Garden Grow - wolfstar, modern au, T, 1.6k (this was the first hp fic i ever wrote back in 2016!)
Sparks - drarry, soulmates au, secret relationship, E, 20k
White in the Darkness - wolfstar, established relationship, possessive!remus, E, 7k
Maybe Love Could Be A Verb - wolfstar, getting together, idiots to lovers, E, 16k (my first fic coming back to fandom last year!)
5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
not as much as i should... i hate replying to comments when my work is still anon and i swear this year all ive done is anon fests and then i forget to reply when reveals happen and then my inbox gets super full and i get overwhelmed...
6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
oooh probably Invisible, Inescapable - ghost!reg, house magic, 16k, M - or Non-Existent Hearts Still Bleed - mostly canon compliant Pansy character study, 8k, M
7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
uhhhh most of them? i dont tend to write sad things
8. Do you get hate on fics?
not so far!
9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
yes. all of it. mostly queer but i have done some m/f but mostly in triads and that one tomione dead dove. currently in the middle of kinktober so smut is on the brain
10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?
no theyve never been my vibe
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
no thank god
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
yes! well, someone asked, idk if they actually did it. it was my pansromione choir fic from pride fest
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
back in the day i co-wrote one with my then-best friend - i think it was the first fic i ever uploaded...
14. What’s your all time favourite ship?
nope. impossible question. my ogs are wolfstar and drarry, but i also adore pansmione/pansromione, fleurinny, ginsy, jegulus, jegulily... so many ships so little time...
15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?
i tried to do nano with original fiction several times and none of them really stuck, which im sad about because some of the ideas were banging - lesbian vampires through time, anyone?
16. What are your writing strengths?
ok this is the hardest question by far...
i think i am quite good at the introspection, and characters having to think through their situations, figure out how they actually feel. i blame all the therapy...
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
confidence and run on sentences. i was editing a fic yesterday and found a sentence that was nearly half a page...
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?
i dont mind it, but i think it has to fit the story. but one of my pet peeves is when people but dialogue in another language and then put the translation in the chapter notes - i have a goldfish brain and by the time i get to the end of the chapter i have forgotten what the dialogue was about
19. First fandom you wrote for?
kingsman back in like 2014/5
20. Favourite fic you’ve written?
dont make me choose between my babies! maybe the one that i cant talk about yet (i feel its the most up to date representation of my writing at the moment), maybe my wolfstar witcher!au (longest uploaded fic, and i really struggled to finish it but im so proud of myself for getting there), maybe my soulmate fest one (i was so not happy with it but everyone seemed to like it and it reminds me that i am my own worst critic)
Tagging: @gloivy @uncannycerulean @silently--here @tracingpatternswrites <3
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Oooh ok lemme tell you my lil yandere Aizawa thoughts? Bc why not, they've been bouncing around my head for a moment?
But he doesn't even realize how far he's fallen for them until shit hits the fan? I'm thinking the darling is a barista at a 24hr coffee shop, someplace he frequents on his night patrol? It sorta started out as something normal, just a dude getting his coffee. It slowly turns into him taking his breaks there at the coffee shop, grabbing something to eat the chat more with the barista. They're just so chatty because quite frankly he's the only person that's been in at this hour and they're bored.
So it turns into a nightly ritual where they both sit in a booth snarking away at this or that because theyve both sorta got the same sense of weird humor. Aizawa doesn't even realize he's falling for them even when he's causally thinking "oh I wonder if y/n likes this sort of takeout? Maybe I could bring it tonight". He doesn't even realize subconsciously he doesn't even both going to that coffee shop on the nights they have off.
Course bad guys come in; maybe they're connected with a case Aizawa is behind, or maybe the darling is just in the wrong place at the wrong time. But he comes in for his nightly (not a date) coffee and sees the place trashed and sorta just goes on a rampage. These bad guys didn't think a pro would be anywhere near the scene anytime soon so their trails pretty fresh.
And after taking down this entire gang he find his darling tied up, gaged and blindfolded in one of those heavy duty dog cages, and he's just stuck staring because there you are. He was so scared that he wouldn't be in time to save you. In fact, he didn't even call in the incident in the first place, he just reacted.
To him, you look so small, curled in on yourself as much as you can in this cage. And he just sorta reacts? Picks up the cage and gets outta there, just leaving behind a bunch of bodies for some poor idiot to find another day.
And like. When he gets you home, it's not. Immediately he takes you out, no he's got to prepare a little bit? In fact, the thought of you needing his protection had crossed his mind, but never to this extent. So it's a cobbled together "bedroom" for you. He takes his bed and anything he thinks you might like that he has on hand and shoves it in the basement that he's never used. And only then hes starting to "unlock" that cage for you. Really just putting on a show of unlocking it so you know someone's there again.
When he reaches for you, whenever you feel the touch of a hand your jerking back and forth wildly, scared out of your mind, but it's not too much a deterant as he just pulls you out before slipping of your blindfold. Oh if he hadn't been in love before he would have fallen for you again in that moment, your eyes so scared before melting into heartbreaking relief at the sight of him. Your sob and throw yourself into his chest and he just pulls you in and strokes your hair.
He hasn't even untied you, and your sobs and muffled by the fabric tied in your mouth, but your too far gone to recognize anything but a hero in front of you and he just holds you as your shaking starts to calm down. He's heart breaks when you start chanting garbled thank yous into his chest. It's not for a moment until you've calmed down enough for him to untie you fully, and your practically limp in his arms.
From there, it's so easy for him to convince you that you were being targeted; that you needed to stay with him for your own protection. Your eating up his lies with full acceptance, nodding along that of course you'd stay.
And you do, unquestionably. At first. But by the time you start to catch onto things he's had all the time he's needed to fully lockdown and stafeguard your home. You never even fully suspected something amiss until the basement door that had been unlocked your entire stay is suddenly locked. You think it's just an accident so when Aizawa comes down to sit you gently on the bed to explain things have changed a bit (for the better he says, for your protection he says) you think he's joking until your cuffed to the bed as he goes about the final renovations to your prison cell, ones too obvious to get by under your nose.
And he's just so gentle the entire time, he's planned for this. Your acting logically, like a kitten in a new home. Of course everything is scary and new. But it's fine, you'll both be happy soon. He'll make sure of it.
Oops I wrote a lot my baddddd, plus it's late AF for me so like. This is definitely smth that's a train of thought vs actually thought out ppft
Tell me what u think?
Oh… this is so soft, omg 🥺 thank you for this - I swear I got a little teary when reader hugged him 😭 This is just.. the perfect yandere. Good intentions but still incredibly possessive. I don't even know what else to add to this, but I really loved the kitten motif here 👀
How terrible that must have been for him - he nearly got his heart ripped out of his chest, nearly lost you. Can you blame for never wanting to let go of you ever again? You’ve been hurt like this once, who is to say it won’t happen again?
He can barely stand your tears and begging once you catch on what he’s been doing, really, it breaks something deep within him. And he understands, knows that this shouldn’t be the solution but he can’t help himself.
He really tries to make the transition to living with him easier - he’ll get you a few books of authors you enjoy, some supplies for crafts you like, small trinkets to hold onto. And he’s patient. So incredibly patient with you. Never punishes you when you slap him, bite him, try to scratch your way out of his arms (because that’s what you do with feral kittens, right? Just shower them with love until they learn to accept and enjoy it.)
He misses your old self, those careless nights and late coffees and the conversations - he wants those back, desperately so, but life isn’t fair. Some day you’ll be as carefree as before but for now keeping you safe is his top priority.
But I think with time, he learns to enjoy the new power dynamic as well. It feels good to protect you like that, to be able to ensure you’re completely safe. Confusing, isn’t it? On one hand he wants to go back, on the other you’re cute like this, too. Maybe he can have both. Maybe he can put you in adorable little outfits and come home to a warm meal after a hard day at work, maybe you can laugh and talk over dinner and he can he have you underneath him, absolutely wrecking you.
Also, you can't tell me he wouldn't get a little... freaky with it. He's a grown man, he has pined after you for so long, he has developed some urges as well. He has a penchant for the cuter, simpler things in life and putting you in a little frilly collar in your favorite color? God, he mentally sheds a tear when he makes you put it on for the first time. It fits you, he thinks - you're feisty yet so delicate when compared to him. He really has found his perfect match and he's never letting go of you.
#yandere bnha#/eraserhead#tw.long post#fhdjfhj seriously anon this is art... like you could write a multi-chapter fic with this#i'd read it 10000% omg...#tw.yandere
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YOU KNOW WHAT WHILE IM BEING ANNOYING AND ABUSING THE TEXT POST FEATURE,,,
I had an experience a few years ago where a close friend of mine said something like "yeah I dont do that anymore ever since you said x about it, I realized it wasnt good for me." And this advice that I gave was something I barely remember saying. It was insignificant, it was in passing, probably at 11pm in her car on a very routine drive home, but somehow it stuck in my friend's brain and contributed to their personal growth and happiness. People I work with swear the funniest jokes I've told are ones I dont remember telling. I keep having this experience over and over again where I realize everything matters, even the things that are so small you haven't kept track of them. I exist to people when when I'm not there in the same way perfect strangers have no idea they exist to me because of something tiny and unimportant that happened between us.
Like five months ago I decided I wanted to post cringe and write shameless smut but I was afraid to do it in the circles I normally run in so I made a new account and I started tinkering around with fanfiction. I started writing A Long Way Off somewhere in that time bc I've always wanted to do a long fic, and my feelings are so big, and in my mind nobody would read it and idk it would probably get no attention and maybe I would get a nice comment on a chapter where the blorbos kiss or something.
I don't know what's in that fic that speaks to people but I've gotten a handful of DMs and messages and comments from unrelated people where they will tell me things about their lives. Things that are like personal and important--about times they've been bullied, about difficult experiences theyve had, about coming out, about times they've been a bad friend or had a bad friend, about times they weren't grown up enough to solve a thing they might be more suited so solve now. All kinds of formative things. All kinds of challenging things.
And like I'm a nobody on the internet?? I'm not wise or notable. I don't know for sure why I'm being trusted with this kind of information about strangers but it means an absurd amount that a thing I'm doing for fun and for hehe make the blorbos kiss is like...in some way meaningful to people.
And basically what I've learned form all this is--
If you want to make something, then make it.
If you have something kind to say, then say it.
Full stop. Because you literally have zero idea who you've touched in your life or how. Everything everyone does is so important, even the stupid stuff. People seeing people, meeting people, touching people, that's whats important. And we do it all the time every day without even trying. Literally nobody has any fucking idea when they're doing that.
I dont remember the funniest joke I've ever told and I'm glad I don't. I would have fucked it up if I was too busy aggrandizing it in my mind.
#fawnfic#Might delete later when I'm ashamed of all the weird things I had to say about my personal experience as a random on the internet
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Pretentious ceramic artist rant incoming
[[MORE]]
So my partner rents studio space at a local pottery place. Its ran by a woman who basically just had a shit ton of money and wanted to get into it so. you can kind of imagine. that its not like. the most well ran place. Not to say its bad but like. Anyways.
My partner went to school with me, so formally trained in pottery, is a really great artist, has been doing tech stuff since being in school. Sometimes helps out the studio by loadin/unloading and firing kilns. He got in a bit of an arguement (barely could be called that tbh) with a woman theyve hired as a tech. Who is still IN school (3rd or 4th year which usually isnt ooooverly qualified for doing tech thibgs unsupervised n very much still learning- i certainly wouldnt have been able to be a tech at that point). Because he loaded a class kiln, confirmed with management he was ok to, but she had wanted to do it a later day. This was also after he had mentioned in their communications for people to keep him in the loop about things because he was recently helping out, because he had to fix work that got stuck to shelves when other people had apparently already changed their mind about doing that for them.
So anyways he loads this kiln. Has to get mad at that tech because she stacked kiln shelves (which are VERY EXPENSIVE) in a way that is very bad for them and makes them likely to crack. No kiln shleves anywhere are ever stored stacked on each other. This is taught to you. And she only put fresh kiln wash on literally 1 shelf. (kiln wash is a refractory paint that keeps glaze from sticking to the shelves- if anything sticks to a shelf and exposes it, it needs rewashed, and routinely to keep them in good shape). Also her cone packs (a cone is a thing that melts at a set temp so you know how hot the kiln gets) were falling apart and made with the wrong style of cone and just bad. So he used his own.
So he loads it. does all this extra work washing shelves n shit. is worried cause its a little tight. gets yelled at for doing it at all by this woman. She removes his cone packs.
we dont hear anything for awhile
then we find out they had to unload the WHOLE KILN because apparently "someone" had gotten "suspicious" that the kiln wash had glaze in it- which is VERY BAD. Because glaze is the OPPOSITE of kiln wash and turns into GLASS and would have FUSED THE WHOLE KILN LOAD TOGETHER.
so she probably realized she mixed glaze into it somehow (which is WILD because HOW THE FUCK that such a massive mistake) and was mad because she had to tel someone now that she couldnt fix it before the kiln was loaded .. like im just. speechless.
this woman should not be in a tech position.
and this also really reinforces my belief that hobby potters REALLY need to fucking humble themselves and stop trying to be proffessional potters with nothing more than a community college course or half a bachelors degree like. i DONT want to say u need education to be an artist or make a living. but CERAMICS is VERY FUCKING TECHNICAL. you can KILL PEOPLE by using the wrong glaze or misfiring a kiln. and you can poison and maim people in A LOT OF OTHER WAYS. And just. blindly working under the assumption you know enough is so god damn reckless. Like that would have been a several hundred if not thousands of dollars worth of equipment of a mistake for the company. let alone all the student and studio proffessional's work in the kiln that would have been unsalvagable.
like i love potters and small business and i DEFINITELY know how hard it is to get going and you gotta just do things but like. Ask for fucking help. Ask someone more knowledgable to shadow you while you do things on your own the first few times just to make sure you are doing it right. potters are some if the most community minded art people ve ever known. they would help. Its unacceptable.
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ok ive alluded 2 this b4 and i wanted 2 talk abt it 4 ace week so if anyones just dying 2 get in on an internet strangers Dramatic Queer Backstory im ready to overshare. its about my history with sex negativity and how its affected me.
so i grew up with an lgbt+ irl friend group of about 7 years. it sounds totally fake but for the love of god just trust me on this. Friend A was your typical anti-aspec, anti-mogai, anti-kink exclusionist with internalized homophobia and Friend B was a sex repulsed asexual. these two people were my best friends, we were all nd, we all liked fandom stuff, and we all found out we were lgbt+ together.
now with that context in mind, im letting you know right now that our relationship with eachother as lgbt+ people was utter hell. we werent CONSTANTLY at eachothers throats, but there had always been an air of uneasiness any time any topics about our identities or lgbt "issues" were brought up. there was no solidarity, and any support for eachother had always been one-sided. when tolerance HAD failed us, it resulted in arguments and shade-throwing. and it was all fueled by tumblr funnieman internet discourse brain poison. i was unable to feel pride within the presence of these two people, and the damage this did to me as an aspec person alone is a post all on its own.
these two friends, as you can imagine, were also very sex negative people. as was i. for me it was from a weird mixture of repulsion, and repression. but the nuances of my mess of an identity is, again, an essay for another time. but anyways, my own issues combined with both Friend A's internalized homophobia and Friend B's repulsion lead to us being neck deep in a miserable cycle of both sex and kink shaming, of either people we knew or people on the internet, amongst ourselves (i guess this was the one thing we could all agree on. isnt that just swell). this had been disastrous for my self esteem as someone who, later realized, wasnt "as asexual" as they thought, for lack of a better phrase.
i cant begin to describe how psychologically damaged this behavior has left me. to be stuck in such a toxic, harmful mindset during such a crucial period of development, between the ages of 13-20 years old. that i still struggle immensely to unlearn. it feels permanently ingrained in my subconscious, its just completely automatic to react with disgust or anger towards anything sexual. i always thought myself to be the perverted freak of the group, because of what i only relatively recently realized was actually normal human behavior all along. but the guilt of simply having any sexual thought continues to eat me alive to this day. and i must reiterate, the shaming wasnt just from my friends. i take just as much responsibility for the harm i caused. and i dont doubt my old friends are also just as fucked up from it as i am. i dont want to blame them for what happened. there is a part of me that wants to be angry, but thats mostly at the exclusionist shit. which i, big shocker, also had a hand in as well. funny how that works. its just. sad it had to be this way. this month is the 4 year mark of when i finally stopped talking to them for good. and i can only hope theyve grown up and gotten better.
#hollyposts#vent#ace week#aaw#i could go on foreeever about this. but i actually wanted to keep it readable.#so storytime with holly will probably happen more often#considering turning off reblogs actually takes a lot of anxiety off my shoulders talking about it#i see posts that say aspecs should speak up more about their experiences. so ill try 2 internalize that.
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Forgive the improper grammar but I needed release. This is a safe place for those who feel they need to be silent on what they feel.
Breathing
So easy yet so heavy
Second nature yet it's become suffocating
What am i to do when you were my reason?
What am I to do when i can only sit here
My chest becoming restricted
I feel everything yet nothing at all.
It's heavy
This ache i hold inside my chest.
The place you once sat
The place i wanted to hold you forever
It hurts
Why does it still hurt, I suppose I will never understand.
Yet, why can’t i let you go.
You’ve moved along
Yet i sit here still grieving
My head spinning
Tormenting me with these thoughts
These memories of only you.
Why is it only you
Day in
Day out
It is only you.
What more can I do?
Who can I go to?
My chest cavity feels empty yet over bearing
It’s like ive forgotten to breath
Why am I suffocating
All these smiles
Pretty sweet lies
Crowded places
Their voices are screaming bur I hear nothing
Feel nothing
No one to my side
I want to scream
I want to cry
But these walls are too thin
This place is not my home
I am not comfortable here
I hate being alone
I hate this pain
My mind has darkened
Ive begun second guessing
That day, was it worth it staying
Accepting this second chance
Why was i given it, thats what i use to think but now, i feel it was just a mistake.
Yet i would have never met you. Would that have been a good thing
I don’t knoe my place anymore. I’ve lost my footing
I use to know this roads, yet ive become lost
As if ive never been here before but i know this street all too well.
Im fine
Thats the lie always ready on my tongue.now adays
Everythings fine. I swear I’ll be alright
But this pain isnt okay.
This heart ache shouldnt remain
Youve moved on yet im stuck here
Stuck in the past
Stuck on the things that ive already lost
I feel like i wasnt enough
Im still not
These marks arent just natural
I want to make them more
I second guess who would miss me
I second guess my place
I wan tto get rid of this pain
Represents dont seem to work
Im afraid only one thing will
Ive been wanting to try it
Hoping for the void to call and win
Its gotten close
Closer than id like to admit.
Yet no one will ever know.
No one would ever see
Ive become an actor
A smile plastered on my face even as my chest pulls tight.
Yet, after my door closes, and im alone for the night.
The bottle spills and i lose my self once again.
Its become harder to find me
Who even am i
Who do i want to be
Do i even want to be alive anymore
Its become harder to find reason to remain
Im sorry that ive grown darker
I was hoping it would only be a phase
But this doesnt seem to want ot pass
Its become permanent
Something i cant just chase away
I want to act happy but its becoming harder as the days pass.
Why does it take such petty means to have someone listen
I hate being alone
Thats when my thoughts want to scream
Want to dig their claws into me.
Theyve become more persistent
Louder
Stronger
Theyve become many
They were once few.
I could handle them
But ive been struggling
I was better
So i thought
But it seems i was just prolonging whats inevitable.
Whats written in stone it seems
Im tired of it
Im tired of living
Im tired of trying
Im tired of guessing
Im
Tired,
Self wallowing
Thats become my favorite pass time
My favorite hobby
It takes up all the free time i gave left.
This act
Its becoming more and more difficult
Its starting to sleep but im done pretending
Maybe this time. It will be the last.
Im tired of bleeding through this invisible wound
I want to make it end
I want to release this pressure but it will never be enough.
I want to be free but how can one be free from their own mind.
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tagged by @iliacobserva thank u legend and thank u moreso for man cheek monday
• Nickname: is max a nickname?? my mates call me by my surname and my younger mates call me mackers/maccas/maxwell/etc yuck
• Sign: pisces we love spring
• Height: im at Least 5'6 and i used to think i was 5'7 but everyone is taller than me,, i still think im 5'7 but i dont know what a foot is in normal units
• Last thing I googled: is max a nickname for maxfield
• Song stuck in my head: iits oonlyy riiiighhtt that you should plaay the waay you feeeelll itt // but im listening to mac to remember christine mcvie, and this song is gorgeous, and everything will be good again
• Number of followers: i really needa block those porn bots fr
• Amount of sleep: been shite recently but usually i hit 7 hours min (excluding drinking ofc)
• Lucky number: torn between 13 and saying that every number is my friend, lover, etc.
• Dream job: i wake up at a reasonable time in the AM and grab a coffee and a pastry and work in a lively but not stressful environment with people who arent the worst and i can work from home some days and i can afford to buy a house at some point before i Partner Up
• Wearing: always cuffed jeans always rolled up t shirts always a silly big jacket :)c
• Movies/books that summarise me: before sunrise, little miss sunshine, in bruges, introduction to electrodynamics by griffiths hehe
• Fave song: sometimes by mbv comes to mind immediately, but in terms of current obsessions its gotta be bro fuck it im so bad at tumblr and worse at linking shit HAZARD DUTY PAY by JPEGMAFIA was where i was at ugh!!
• Aesthetic: Awful Halfway NB, cuffed everything, (skinnies, tee, even jean jacket) mad that it really be nb all the way down
• Fave author: i need to read more. got a mary oliver collection of poems last birthday and naturally its life changing but yep needa read more
• Fave animal noise: foxes croaking/squeaking?? such weird cunts i love them to bits
• Random fact: all my bottom teeth are chipped,, theyve been filled but what else rando fact do i got
bruh i got to this late and i feel like i cant tag anyone atm, sorry mutuals.. But if you see this then i have my eye on you and youre free to catch me accountable x
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Head empty only soft miritama
#theyve been stuck in my mind all day#mha#my hero academia fanart#my hero academia#bnha#bnha fanart#mha fanart#miritama#tamamiri#mirio togata#tamaki amajiki#boku no hero academia
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.
#feeling absolutely murderous#so quarantine has just gone into effect for my dormbuilding#theyve been testing the wastewater of all the buildings and we got a positive test for ours which means tomorrow we all have to get tested#but i swear to god#i cannot be cooped up with roommate for days or weeks. i’ll lose my entire mind she gets on my nerves so easily#like she can be such an inconsiderate bitch#and then of course my dad comes in with the most condescending asshole text#like i need to be angrier during all of this#and all i really wanna do is cry but im stuck in my room with my roommate so i feel like i cant#bc clearly i dont want any questions from her or literally just for her to see me crying#also apparently the food they bring you in quarantine sucks so thats great cant wait to starve#i just. i know this all sounds very meoldramatic but im really freaking out over here#and this is dumb but my roommate likes to have our lights on ALL THE TIME even when we have our blinds open and theres more than enough sun#and i have a diagnosed eye problem where my eyes are super sensitive to livht so constant exposure to these harsh bright dorm lights kills#my head and gives me the worst migraines. and she already knows this but still does it anyway so now i have to live with that every hour of#every day and im. im gonna scream#and i just dont feel comfortable doing a ton of stuff around her yk???#ignore me ill just be busy losing my mind over here#amber’s rambles
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