saw this and thought of them

last line tag meme

well dang, I was contemplating doing this with my many wips but now I got tagged by @dolston17​ so I can’t say no can I???

post a sneak peak from a WIP (favorite/last line/almost abandoned, dealer’s choice lol)

okay so yeah I got... 3 actually active WIPs that I’m working on and one that is... absolute crackfic but I’ve put 5k words into it so I have to finish it someday? so you’re getting a snippet from all of them

1 - Better Luck Next Time, Johnny (not really the title)

(can’t give you the last line of this because it’s uuuuh filth but there is some silly flirting before that I really like)

“Didn’t I tell you this isn’t a good place for you last time?”

His voice is far more teasing and playful than it is worried and reprimanding, and she understands that they’re probably being listened to. She tries to put the same amount of flirting into her answer.

“I really don’t like being told what to do, Johnny.”

There’s a twitch in his eyebrow she knows all too well, and the smallest hint of a smile as he bites his lower lip and leans over a bit more, his eyes raking over her in that dress, and maybe Kylie wasn’t quite so wrong to convince her to buy it.

“I highly doubt it, Dora.” His low voice isn’t at sultry-level yet, but it still has her squeezing her thighs together without even wanting to. “I rather think you like exactly that. Which is why you came back, hm?” He twirls a loose strand of her hair around his finger and pulls ever so slightly, and she has to bite her lip now to hide her smile.

“So you’re going to be a good girl”, he continues, and he’s definitely at sultry now, “and go get yourself out of here.”

-+-

2. - I’ll worship like a dog at the shrine of your life (yeah I’m that song-line kind of writer bitch)

(this is the start of the WIP but there’s actually a lot happening before it that I haven’t written yet)

"What are you thinking?"

"It's cheesy."

"Lemme be the judge of that."

A pause. Amy is smiling at him, softly, but with the slightest hint of mischief. It will never not take his breath away, that particular smile. He knows exactly what it means.

"I was thinking…" he begins, and his voice is raspy, far too raspy for only a few kisses. But he finds that he doesn't mind, as his hands stroke down her sides so tentatively he can see her shiver above him.

"Goddess." he finally whispers in that same raspy tone, and watches Amy's eyes grow wide and her body still. Only for a few seconds, before she catches herself and smiles again.

"Definitely cheesy." She judges, but leans forward to kiss him all the same, and the kiss tells him she's happier about it than she'll admit. "Which one?" he hears her mumbling against his lips, and he hums while thinking.

-+-

3. Five things I can’t hate about you (yes I am also that bad movie-reference kinda writer bitch)

this is a long last ‘line’ but it’s also the most active WIP I have and I really like this whole scene

They don’t speak for the maybe ten or fifteen minutes spent sitting in the darkened room. He doesn’t ask - doesn’t prod - doesn’t demand an explanation or more information or anything, really, not the way she’s used to from anyone else who’s actually figured out that she’s having some sort of attack, and she’s glad for it. She will explain it all, later, probably alongside the written thank you note he’s definitely going to get because that is the proper way to do it, even if he will make jokes about it. But right now, she’s thankful for the silence that doesn’t feel threatening at all, for the warmth of his hand and the calm of his thumb still rubbing across her skin. 

They let go when she stands up, squaring her shoulders as he rises next to her. 

“Ready?” He asks with his usual grin and she returns it with a small smile and a nod before he opens the door for her and sneaks her out unnoticed the same way he brought her in.

She mingles. She makes connections. She even gets to tell a few stories that make a group of captains laugh around her, but the laugh she hears the most is right next to her and very familiar by now.

He keeps handing her canapés from the trays of passing waiters (he’s a pro at spotting free food, obviously) and makes silly jokes next to her without ever stealing the spotlight or embarrassing her like he usually would. She notes a glass of orange juice in his hand whenever he hands her her own refill, and when Terry leaves early to see his family and asks if he needs a ride home, he declines.

And when the evening finally slows and the hall begins to empty, she walks with him to his dingy old car in the garage and gets in without another question, falling half-asleep during the ride back to her place.

She puts a coffee down on his desk with the thank you note tucked underneath it the next day, and tries not to blush when he comes in 15 minutes late with her coffee order in hand. The day is spent teasing her about the note in between his actual work, of course, but she sees it pinned between his knicknacks when she actually leaves on time in the evening.

It’s surprising that besides his actually funny jokes, he can make her smile with the strangest little things.

-+-

4. The Florida Menagerie

(a crackfic turned emotional turned back to crack and I genuinely have no plan how to end it so it’s been sitting for months now.. if you can correctly identify the ‘pets’... go you, I guess? there’s not really a prize I can offer.)

After that, the code was well-established. They met at their fences far more often while watering the lawn or, in Jake’s case, enjoying the hot tub the way it was meant to be enjoyed, without tears or burritos in sight. They would greet each other, maybe exchange pleasantries for a moment, and then Holt would inquire about his pets. And Jake was more than happy to answer.

“Oh, god, Goose and Foxglove got into such a fight last night. I almost thought I had to save Goose from it. But they made up this morning, I think.” “Big Bird isn’t really used to the new cage he got. Might be a bit too big for him, even. But I keep the door open and everyone’s been keeping him calm.” “The Nomster has found a new favourite food. He keeps trying to share it with the Pizza Pockets, but no takers. And I mean, they will eat everything.” “Foxglove and Peanuts keep bringing in so many dead mice and birds. Just, constantly on the hunt. It’s like they have a competition going.” “Stilton’s doing okay, I think. Getting used to me still. He keeps quoting my classic movie collection, so I think he’s learning from the best.”

It wasn’t much, it never was. But it was more than enough. 

And as he watched Larry muse about the wonderful feeling of Peanuts cuddling up to him when he felt bad at night, or sniff a little about how she was so smart and always knew how to make his day better, he could see Jake Peralta come back into his own again, and he felt as if Raymond Holt was right there to join him, hearing about Stilton and Goose getting along so well they often shared a cage and their meal together, or Stilton throwing his pebbles at Peanuts who was apparently happy to snack on them. 

It wasn’t much, but it was all they could get, and as such, it was wonderful.

Until it stopped.

we’ll sweep out the ashes in the morning |CHAPTER 7|

Even in the middle of New York's freezing month of February, a scandalous familiar fire is ignited within Jake and Amy when they run into each other after years apart. Luckily there's nothing wrong with being caught up in a fire that has to die out soon, right?

Read chapter here or on AO3 

CHAPTER MASTERLIST HERE

Being a cop, experiencing so much harm, hopelessness, chaos and everything in-between, was the hardest thing he’d ever have to handle.

Or that’s what he thought right up until the moment Jake stood on the doorstep to Sophia and, weirdly, his apartment in an attempt to get himself to come forward and confess to what he’d done - or just knock on the door would be a good start. For the last minutes, he didn’t even remember how many at that point, he’d been restlessly pacing back and forth outside the front door to their, his and Sophia’s, so-called “home”. But it being Brooklyn it was probably just a matter of time before someone would call the cops on him since he did look kind of disturbed and creepy: he couldn’t keep pacing forever.

His heart was beating so fast; so fast he was absolutely persuaded of having never experienced any similar feeling before. Another thing he noticed, he could’ve sworn, was that he could hear every pumping movement his heart uttered, which made no sense considering he simultaneously felt lightheaded and like no oxygen was getting to his brain. Man, he had messed up so hard. Not only with Amy, but with Sophia too.

Nevertheless he didn’t get much more time to consider, suffer and make up his mind, in reality none at all, because a loud repetitive knock from inside the apartment beat him to it and completely threw him off guard.

“Who’s there!?” he could hear a woman’s voice yell from inside the apartment: Sophia, of course. Her sounding upset was an understatement. “I’ve been hearing pacing and mumbling for the past 5 minutes so don’t act like no one’s there! I can and will call the police!”

Oh, shit - no more time to think. He had to just jump, head in first and… do whatever he could. Either that or cops, probably from his own precinct, would be there to arrest him within 5 minutes.

“No no no, please don’t! It’s me Jake!”

The yelling and warning bangs from her side of the door seized but probably not because, if he knew her well enough, she was relieved. Not that he’d expected her to be though; he couldn’t even begin to imagine how she was feeling, abandoned by the person whom she thought she would spend the rest of her days with, and now, without her knowledge, he was back to make it even worse.

“Can we talk?” He called out.

Silence. 5… 10… 15… seconds.

“I don’t think we have anything to talk about, Jake. I think where you stand has been made very clear.”

Venom coursed through her voice, every syllable, word and sound, which Jake couldn’t even blame her for: he deserved it. All she’d done was love him, saying yes to loving him forever when he had asked her to marry him, and all it’d gotten her was being left on her wedding day; being cheated on though she wasn’t even aware of this. Yet.

“You don’t have to say anything; you don’t even have to look at me… I just need to-“ he cut himself off trying to think of the right words to say though he knew nothing would ever be perfectly right. “I need to come clean: lay it all out on the table. I’m a the world’s biggest dick, and I’m not here to try to convince you of the opposite… Let me just explain a few things, okay? Please, Sophia…”

A sigh full of regret put a period to what he had to say; what he could say as he stood outside the gates to confession waiting to learn if his admission of guilt would be welcomed. On top of this he also felt deep regret knowing he’d hurt an incredible woman, knowing he could’ve acted so much more wisely, but also at the same time not regretting every moment he’d gotten with Amy.

Then, to his surprise, the door swung open revealing an exhausted-looking Sophia clad in sweatpants and being the exact opposite of what he knew her for: put together, cool, always on the move, determined. He’d done this to her and, if possible, he now hated himself even more.

“Hey,” to say smiling felt inappropriate was some understatement as he put on a weak one, but he didn’t know what else to do. Scream? Cry? He sure did feel like it. The smile ended up being the less weird option although it didn’t earn him one in return and that was okay.

Another tense silence, one more than before now that the door was no longer present as a buffer between them, crept up the stairs to where they were by the front door. It immediately let Jake know that no, he probably shouldn’t expect to be let in.

“I don’t have time for small talk, Jacob. Get to the point.”

Jacob. Oh, he was in so much trouble.

“Eh- okay,” his hands shifted uncomfortably in his jean’s front pocket, he took a deep breath and then jumped into the freezing ocean of truth: eyes closed, head first, can’t lose.

“So, first of all, I know this must mean nothing to you which is far beyond understandable, but just wanna say, again, how so very sorry I am for what I did to you - to us…” he paused to see if he should expect some kind of answer, reaction, the bare minimum but alas no. The only moving she did was crossing her arms defensively in front of her chest as if she was gearing up for war. His most qualified guess was that this was his cue to continue.

“…and I’m not here to rub salt in the wound and this might be selfish, I’m not really sure anymore, but I need to tell you the truth. The whole truth.”

This to some extent seemed to catch Sophia’s attention, a sudden curiosity lighting up her darker than usual eyes as if she was a kid who’s just been told they’re going to be let in on a secret. Only this secret surely wouldn’t make her feel any good.

“A few months back, in February, something happened and I already should’ve told you back then but I didn’t because I was a confused and a huge stupid coward and I didn’t know how to tell you.”

From the look on her face Jake could tell that Sophia was slowly starting to put the pieces together. It was only a matter of words, no matter how carefully picked they were on his part, before she would crack the code and know. The secret would be out with taking it back being no option.

“Remember that night I said I was going to Shaw’s with a friend from work?” he tried, not expecting an answer but hoping she’d recall which would allow him to spare her from the details.

Then a look of realisation, the last puzzle piece falling into its designated spot consumed the look on his almost-wife’s face. He could physically see the microsecond it all came together in her mind and it felt like witnessing someone pulling the safety pin of a grenade, and now he had to stay, stand his ground, and handle the explosion.

“Y-you…” she stammered before closing her eyes as to compose herself after the shock of the truth bomb. “You… cheated on me?” he could tell the word was laced with venom, tasting horridly in her mouth as she couldn’t believe she had to say it. “And you didn’t even have the balls to tell me!?” within seconds her voice transitioned from disbelief to loud, ringing anger.

What else could he do but comply? He knew he was the traitor; the culpable; the one in the wrong.

“I’m so sorry.”

“I don’t give a shit about your apologies! I was here, by your side, working my ass off for this wedding and us, meanwhile you were out and about screwing some chick?”

The flinch Jake’s face upon hearing Amy be put on a par with ‘some random girl he’d just screwed’ was in no way discreet, and Sophia of course noticed. It was indeed inevitable that their relationship was over Jake knew that Sophia knew him well - they’d been together for long and about to get married after all. Also, she was a lawyer so there was really no where for him to hide. Her entire demeanour quieted down upon internally analysing the facts.

Jake Peralta, a good guy with no scandalous past, goes out to get drinks with “someone from work” and cheats on her, flinches when she belittles this other woman…

“I know her, don’t I?”

Perhaps yes he was coming clean about everything but still he didn’t exactly feel like exclaiming the mystery woman’s identity. Alas the silence he met Sophia with was enough of an answer. The wheels continuously turned inside her mind, so loud that Jake could’ve sworn that he could actually hear it.

Jake Peralta. Good guy. No scandalous past or track record. Drinks. “Someone from work”. Flinch.

There must be feeling involved. She knows her.

“Someone from work,” Sophia repeated out loud as to speed up the answer coming to her. It was all one big mess in her head but somehow comes together forming a perfectly clear answer.

“Amy… “ she tasted the name on her tongue trying to find the second half of it. “… Amy Santiago. The girl you used to work with back at the Nine-Nine.”

Another silence; another answer; another soundless yes. Suddenly Jake wished he’d never told Sophia about Amy. The two women had never met, but of course Jake couldn’t enter a relationship without bringing home a lot of shop talk, which involved anecdotes and pictures about his squad: ex-partner Santiago who’d by then moved on to work with Major Crimes included

“I can’t believe you went out and screwed an old colleague while I sat at home like the good, naive wife-to-be!” She cursed loudly after having gotten over the big blow of the mistress’ reveal. Jake flinched having no defence as he knew very well that he deserved the rough treatment. What he’d done to her was inconsolable and unforgivable.

“Fuck you, Jake,” her eyes and words were equally life-draining as they dug into him like daggers. “Fuck you for being with me, fuck you for telling me you loved me, for you for building a life with me, fuck you for proposing and the biggest of all fuck yous for almost leading me into a what was already a dead-end marriage.”

By then, having already threatened moments ago but had only actually fallen in the midst of her last outburst, tears were falling on her cheeks.

“I deserve every single ‘fuck you’ you have to offer and I’m so sorry, Sophia. Really, I truly deeply am and, not that it matters now, but I did love you and still do… It’s just-“

“I’m not her,” she finished his sentence for her making it much simpler than whatever long, intricate explanation he would end up forming. And she suddenly looked very calm; upsettingly calm and settled even.

Jake froze. He knew he was thinking it but didn’t exactly expect Sophia to catch up on it so fast.

“You might be the world’s worst person to me right now, and I’m not about to forgive it…” Her eyes for the first time tonight, through the tears, showed a sign of sadness, regret even, rather than anger like she’d come to realise something. “… But I also know that you’re a man who does love and probably did love me, even though it doesn’t feel like it right now, which is also why I know you would never do this to me if there wasn’t someone you…” she halted as if the words didn’t want to come out of her. “… if there wasn’t someone you loved even more, and I don’t want to be with you if there’s someone out there you love more than me. I don’t want to waste my life being someone’s number two: I jut wish you’d told me earlier… Or simply in a way that didn’t include screwing around.”

Jake had never considered the fact that perhaps he had what resembled love for Amy, but hearing Sophia somehow explain his mess to him though she was the victim, it suddenly seemed more clear and obvious than ever before.

“You’re worth much more than I can offer you, Sophia… And I’m sorry I didn’t communicate that properly.”

“Well…” his almost-wife had seemed to calm down although the clenching feeling in his gut, guilt, would surely stick around for some time. “Just make sure to at least offer that Amy something equal her worth. Don’t be an idiot twice.”

Jake nodded trying to change it all in; the switch in tone and mood, all the new facts hitting him harder than a storm.

“Did she know?” Sophia quizzed again after a moment of silence.

“What?”

“That you had me?  That you were engaged?”

“Oh, uh…” Jake frowned hating that he knew the answer. Even though it didn’t matter he didn’t want what she did that night to represent Amy. But he couldn’t lie. Not anymore. “Yeah, I think… I believe I mentioned it.”

“Well,” Sophia took a moment to compose herself, grabbing the door as to get ready to close it. “Then perhaps you’re already offering her something equal to her worth.”

-

Between the confessing to Sophia and trying to win Amy back (is it ‘back’ if he never really had her?) Jake’s having a week from hell, and it very quickly turns out that talking to Sophia very surprisingly comes down to being the easiest task of the two.

It was a dark evening with clouds assembling threatening to spill rain and thunder covering the sky. Perhaps the weather knew how he felt; hopeless, somber, alone. After obviously not being able to stay in his and Sophia’s apartment anymore he’d offered to take the high road and move out - or at least move himself out along with a bag of clothes and bare necessities. The rest of his stuff would come around once he’d found a new place to call his own.

Until then he crashed at Charles’ which both he, Genevieve and especially nephew Nikolaj immensely enjoyed. Although he seemed not as happy and joking as usual, Nikolaj noticed, there was nothing better than spending evenings playing with his priceless collection of trucks and uncle Jake who always impressed him with conniving truck-sounds.

But as soon as the darkness and the moon reigned over New York, when Niko and his parents were fast asleep and the apartment was dead silent, Jake was left to himself in the guest room to ponder endlessly and hating himself so much more. At least during the day he could repress and distract himself from these thoughts and feelings.

The end of him and Amy, though he barely even knew what that meant anymore, suddenly seemed inevitable. Turned out that getting back in contact with a person whose trust you’d lost was harder than one would think - especially when you were obsessed, dying to be with said person, and she wouldn’t answer any calls, texts or voicemails which would allow you to explain.

Jake experienced this first hand as he dialled her number only to be met with her by now all too familiar voicemail.

“Ames, it’s me for the…” he took a brief glance at his phone immediately feeling slightly embarrassed by the sight of call list. “… 4th time today (20th time this week). Please, I’m begging you, pick up. I talked to Sophia and I’m-“ he searched his mind for the perfect words to say but they seemed so far gone, used up and meaningless by now. It already felt like he’d tried every way of wording possible to explain his renewed, honest intentions.

A deep sigh filled the pause before he preceded, slowly feeling himself slipping and giving up. “I miss you. I never meant to hurt you, and I know nothing will undo that I in fact did but please let me explain. I’m at Charles’. I’m staying here until I can find a new place to live and, yeah, Sophia is no longer in the picture. It’s just you, Amy. I just want you. Please call me back - or even just a text would be good too.”

He hung up before putting down his phone and turning over to lie sleeplessly, one more night to add to the list, in his lonely borrowed bed.

To no one’s surprise, least of all Jake’s, this declaration and plead number 20 wasn’t the one to convince Amy of giving him the time of day either. There was no way over, under or around the fact that she simply didn’t want to hear from him, and even less let him hear anything back. Though he was dying to explain himself, wanting nothing more than run to her apartment and kick down her door, tell her he wanted her,  he also knew that wasn’t the way things worked. Maybe in movies but not in real life with real people, real feelings and real consequences.

No matter how badly he needed and missed her he respected her wishes, which seemingly was not seeing him. Giving up on her felt wrong, unreal and excruciating when just five days ago he’d been lying in bed with her in his arms in the warm morning sunlight. And though he wasn’t officially about to back down and give in to the screwed up circumstances that had gotten them here, there sure wasn’t much motivation left in him but one thing: Amy.

Seeing Amy. Talking to Amy. Apologising to Amy. Admiring Amy. Touching Amy. Loving Amy, someday when that word seemed rational. Anything with Amy, he wanted it and would go to great lengths to earn it.

That, all that, he hoped, would be enough to mend them again someday hopefully soon.

I agree with some of the things about the last question answered but what about the fact that Felecia and Ludde were on a break? I’m not excusing Amies behavior and I think what she did was wrong in terms of girl code and what not but I don’t know, I don’t really feel like the show really does a good job delving into issues? Because of the time they’re given, but yeah. Like I couldn’t feel for some of the characters bc it felt like I just didn’t know them?

Pt2 of the last thing, I guess I also don’t feel bad for Felicia because she was a shitty girlfriend and I feel like a shitty friend as well.

Pt3!! And, and she did the same shit to Jake and was just kind of like let’s forget it so it just feels weird??

First off, thank you for this ask! I’ve been a little busy with school so I haven’t had a lot of time to answer it but I thought I’d get around to doing so now.

I think the whole “they were on a break” thing is very reminiscent of Ross and Rachel’s situation from Friends. People will argue as much as they can about a technicality but even if Felicia and Ludde were “on a break”, that doesn’t make it okay that Ludde and Amie hooked up immediately after. The truth is that Ludde and Amie did something really hurtful to Felicia and then concealed the truth for weeks after.

I actually somewhat agree about the show not really doing a good job of delving into this particular conflict. The writing in season 1 was pretty bad in comparison to season 2, where it did improve but still had some questionable storylines. I actually initially thought that Ludde was too drunk to remember anything from the Halloween incident and that Amie and Klara were the only ones who knew what happened (which would’ve made the situation even more morally difficult). 

Instead it’s kind of left ambiguous and we don’t really know why Ludde would make out with Amie. In Amie’s case we find out she does have feelings for Ludde (which was a whole other mess but don’t get me started on that), but I still don’t understand why Ludde would hook up with Amie when he was moping about Felicia all night. I thought that he had to have been so drunk that he really didn’t remember what he was doing at all, but I guess that wasn’t the case. I don’t know, I never really felt like the Halloween incident made much sense and that they just wrote it in to throw us all off. There wasn’t much thought put behind it, in my opinion.

I definitely understand what you mean about not really feeling sympathy for some characters because there just wasn’t enough time to properly get to know them. Or rather, there was time but the way the writers used that time for the characters wasn’t really well-planned.

I actually hated Ludde with a passion in season 1 because he was honestly a complete douchebag. Ludde let his friends objectify Felicia (which is honestly disgusting, and I’m still not over the fact that no consequences came of that and that the writers just chalked it up to being “locker room talk”). He started a fight with Felicia’s brother when Elias was just trying to protect his sister (and let’s not forget Ludde asked Elias if he got pictures in his head of his SISTER having sex, which was incredibly disturbing). Ludde got incredibly aggressive with Felicia and yelled at her to leave when Felicia mistakenly thought Ludde had told everybody about what happened to her in the U.S. instead of just explaining that there was a misunderstanding like any rational person would. Season 1 Ludde actually has so many red flags and I don’t understand why he was so popular. There’s also the whole thing where Ludde belittled Felicia for having her own issues because according to him “rich people can’t have problems!”. Don’t get me wrong, I like season 2 Ludde, but he was a complete dick in season 1 and he really needed a wake-up call.

That’s why I disagree about Felicia being a shitty girlfriend and friend. On the contrary - Ludde was actually the shitty person in their relationship. They both started the relationship with ulterior motives (Felicia to get back at her dad and Ludde to annoy Elias), but as they got to know each other Felicia started to really like him and it feels like Ludde always managed to do something hurtful to her.

I think Felicia was a really good friend to Amie as well. Felicia is the one who pushed Amie to talk to Tobias and to get her to audition for the school band. Felicia is the one who kick-started Amie’s music career (which ended up with her getting the record deal) and I don’t remember Amie thanking Felicia for that. I never really felt like Felicia was a shitty friend to be honest. Amie on the other hand was the one who ditched Felicia for Klara, and never really defended Felicia.

Felicia did not really cheat on Jack the same way Ludde cheated on her, though. Jack used that as a manipulation tactic to get Felicia to apologize to him when Jack was the one going behind her back. He was never actually bothered by it.

Felicia and Jack did not have an official relationship at that point and were only messing around. As for Ludde cheating, he and Felicia were in a relationship together and he decided to make out with her best friend after one bad fight they had. There were clearly more feelings involved during that incident as opposed to Felicia just having fun in Stockholm.

the beach house on crack: a love island au

alright lads so basically i’ve been binge watching love island and got to thinking about how jake and amy would be if they were in the villa bc you know it’d be spicy af so naturally i called up my resident brit @fourdrinkamy​ and the two of us wrote up some (4k words of) headcanons!!! If you dont watch love island then 1) culture yourself 2) it’s a british reality tv show that’s like a better version of the bachelor

“The premise of Love Island is simple. A group of attractive 20-somethings are made to couple up and share a bed—regardless of whether they have a romantic connection—in a villa on the Spanish island of Majorca. New cast members and challenges are introduced to make things difficult and they are made to recouple.” - time.com (oh + the winning couple gets £50k)

keep reading below the cut for some reality tv/brooklyn nine nine madness!!!

· so jake and amy are part of the original ten in the villa, obvs, along with charles, terry, gina, sharon and rosa and a few other randos who we don’t care about

· when jake comes in amy thinks he’s cute in a goofy sort of way but she doesn’t step forward (therefore admitting she would want to couple up with him) bc she wants to keep her options open and what not but jake thinks shes a BABE so he decides to couple with her anyway

She’s not mad about it though, he seems like a good time

charles choses rosa and she is Not Pleased bc he seems like a goober (he is)

Terry picks sharon and they become like the jack and dani of the season (kinda)

· Charles and jake instantly bond and have one of the best bromances in love island history

· Gina is the biggest pot stirrer the island’s ever seen and is constantly trying to get terry away from sharon but he doesn’t ever budge

· within the first few days its clear to amy they’re just gonna be buddies but that’s fine bc while he likes orange soda in his cereal and is possibly the messiest man she’s ever met he’s really funny and they’re really good at all the different competitions and she’s got the perfect wingman for when mr. right does come around!

· jake doesn’t mind either bc amy’s super chill and also wants to join the police academy so they can talk cop movies which is dope and also they smoke the competition when it comes to challenges

· Amy loves that they get given water bottles and forces Jake to drink it in its entirety x3 daily

· The first set of new guys/girls comes into the villa and while amy and jake both try neither of them feel anything so at the first recoupling Amy chooses to stay with jake so they both can stay and try to find someone

Rosa choses the new guy marcus much to charles’ disappointment

· jake gets everyone in the villa to start making title of your sex tape jokes and it becomes a running joke and the public gets it trending on twitter

· Over the course of the next week or so they have become each other’s best friend in the villa and often find themselves hanging out one on one even when they don’t have to, to the point where everyone else is questioning whether they actually like each other or not

· The islanders get a text from the producers (“I GOT A TEXT”) saying each couple has to pick two other couples they think are the least compatible and whoever has the most votes will get dumped from the villa, but even though jake and amy are in a friendship couple the rest of the couples think they have such good chemistry they don’t receive a single vote

· jake’s thinking the same thing and confides in charles after a few drinks and charles convinces him to say something to her

Charles is already a self-defined “melt” for jake & amy

THATS WHEN TEDDY COMES INTO THE ISLAND dun dun dun

Amy’s instantly drawn to teddy and everyone is excited bc she finally found someone she’s interested in

“He’s 100% my type on paper”

jake is genuinely happy for her ( “how do i look? Is this lipstick too much?” “you look great, ames”) but at the same time is a sad lil puppy

That night they recouple and amy chooses teddy and the public are sad bc jake and amy belong together!!!!!

Gina recouples with jake to keep him around bc she’s his mate le duh

amy’s all excited that night because she finally has someone to cuddle with but teddy just??? rolls over and goes to bed??? uh okay…

Also he snores. Big time.

Charles brings his sleep apnea machine and between that and teddy’s snores no one can sleep

On the brightside no one can hear the couples who are ~doing bits~

(A/N to clarify: in the villa, everyone sleeps in the same room which has six double beds & you share a bed with whoever you happen to be ‘coupled up’ with at the time)

· The jimmy jabs is totes one of the competitions they do and jake lets amy (and therefore teddy) win bc he knows how bad she wants it……and because he still likes her

· The heist, on the other hand, is something jake comes up with on his own and eventually everyone in the villa starts swiping things from each other

· Eventually this super hot girl sophia enters the villa and jake is SMITTEN

Jake in the interview room: “Looks like the gods have finally answered my prayers…”

iain the narrator: “Yes, the gods. Or, our producers wanted a bit of action so they asked our intern to find out your type.”

· Pimento enters the villa the same time as sophia and he and rosa are instantly drawn to each other and poor marcus doesnt stand a chance

They become co-presidents of the do bits society within like a day, even doing it in the middle of the day

Jake walks in on them doing it TWICE in one day and just silently backs out of the room, it’s not like he needed sun cream anyway

· sophia gets to pick two guys to take on a date and one of them is jake and amy is v jealous bc teddy is a dud (not that she’s going to admit that to anyone apart from in the talking head…just yet)

“I just don’t get what he sees in her honestly? Oh god…am i jealous of sophia?! Noooooo…”

Iain the narrator: “Yessssssss…”

· Amy’s been trying to get to know teddy, but it turns out the guy is a total snoozefest, which she tells gina and rosa one day while they’re getting ready

“All he ever talks about is pilsners. I dont even like pilsners!!!”

“Also, I dunno if you guys noticed this but the guy wears mesh underwear. Like why? Is it medical? How do you even ask that?!”

· Jake and sophia immediately hit it off and in the same episode it becomes v clear amy is over teddy and his lack of a personality

Theres a recoupling where boys pick and jake picks sophia and teddy picks amy but amy is Not Pleased

· A group of the islanders (led by Jake) creates a game where they take a shot every time Teddy chooses a pilsner to drink

charles is pissed by like six pm

· UH OH THERES A KISSING CHALLENGE

The islanders play snog marry pie, so basically the boys line up in a line and the girls pick a boy to make out with and one they’d want to marry (and one they want to throw a literal pie in their face)

Sophia snogs jake ofc and then says she’d marry some rando (again who we don’t care about)

Amy, however, chooses to marry teddy - “i’m marrying you because i think we’d have cute babies who would go to code camp” - AND KISSES JAKE. jake is surprised but also not upset?? And when amy pulls away jake seems to lean in for more!!!

Cut to sophia in the talking head like “HANG ON. why did she kiss jake and why did he look like he was going in for more???”

Sophia gets pissed off at jake who’s genuinely confused

“It was just a game??  Like i’dve kissed anyone bc that’s literally the game”

“Yes jake but you clearly went for more. And you didn’t have to slip your tongue into her mouth.”

Jake tries to clear his name but sophia’s not having it

“If you liked amy you should’ve just told me, not made out with her in front of me and the whole damn country”

She storms off after that leaving jake alone on the swinging couch

Cut to jake smiling in the talking head: “amy kissed me…”

NEXT TIME ON LOVE ISLAND…

Just kidding i don’t have enough follow through to make two posts so we’re just gonna do it all now

· After all that ~drama~ sophia goes to sleep on the couch but jake, ever the gentleman, tells her he’ll take the couch and she can sleep in the bed

Teddy and amy still share a bed…i mean it’s not like they cuddled before anyway…

· Everyone in the villa gives jake crap for his bedhead and amy crap for her old lady glasses

Jake def makes the glasses/penis comment and iain makes some snarky narrator remark

· Jake and Amy kinda dance around each other most of the day and then they hear Gina announce “I GOT A TEEEEEXXXXXT”

“Islanders, tonight there will be a recoupling. The girls will choose their partner. The remaining boy with be dumped from the villa immediately. #choosewisely”

Everyone in the villa immediately turns to jake and amy

· After a proper gassing up from gina, rosa, and charles jake finally goes over to amy

“Hey ames, can we go for a chat?”

Amy tucks her hair behind her ears as she gets up heheheh

Gina, rosa and charles don’t even try to hide the fact that they’re watching the entire conversation unfold from their spot on the day bed

· They go to the hanging couch (the best spot in the villa in my humble opinion) and jake finally tells her how he feels!!!!

“Look, i dont wanna be a jerk…I know you’re coupled up with teddy and it’s going really well. It’s just…”

“What’s going on?”

“I don’t know what’s going to happen at this recoupling and I think I’d be pissed with myself if I didn’t say this. I kinda wish something could happen between us…romantic stylez. And i know it probably will never happen because you’re happy in your couple but…”

· Before either of them can say anything more they’re cut off by terry announcing he has a text!!!

“Islanders, it is now time for the recoupling. Whichever boy is not chosen to recouple will be dumped from the villa immediately.”

Jake and amy just kinda stare at each other for a few seconds before amy finally gets up wordlessly and walks to the bonfire

· In classic love island fashion, amy has to choose her boy last, so it’s down to just teddy and jake. Whoever she doesn’t pick has to leave the villa.

Everyone, e v e r y o n e is visibly stressed. Charles is full on crying, and rosa is clutching pimento’s hand so hard it may or may not break by the end of the night

Teddy, god bless him, looks completely at ease. Jake keeps scratching the back of his neck and wringing his hands

· Finally amy takes a deep breath.  

“I chose this boy because…he makes me laugh. He’s a good friend, and he knows me better than anyone in the villa. Also – he’s probably gonna make fun of me for saying this – but he’s, like, really fit. I don’t know, I just would be so, so sad if he left the villa. And I want to give us a chance to go beyond friends.”

At this point the camera flips to jake who is giving her the smallest, sweetest smile and then to teddy who’s finally catching on.

“The boy I choose is…”

*dramatic-ass pause*

“Jake.”

· THE MUSIC SWELLS. JAKE WALKS OVER TO HER AND GIVES HER THE SWEETEST KISS. EVERYONE CRIES, EVEN ROSA.

Amy smiles as they pull apart.

“So, a lot of change around here, huh?”

He kisses her again. :’)

· The first night they sleep together they don’t kiss but they do spoon

Jake is almost always the little spoon and at first he gets crap from the other boys when they see this but he doesn’t care because being the little spoon is the best!!!!! He gets to wake up in amys arms like hellooooo

· Amy and jake are surprisingly affectionate??? Not in a weird way like charles and genevieve but amy just always seems to have a hand on his knee or what have you

For the record, amy was NEVER like that with teddy.

· Amy has a STRICT no-sex rule in the bedroom bc hello they are on national television her abuela could be watching!!!! + it would be super weird to do bits in the same room as charles…of course jake completely and utterly respects this and doesn’t even question it. If he has to go 6 weeks without sex even though he’s sharing a bed every night with the hottest girl he’s ever seen then so be it

· UNTIL it’s announced via text that The Hideaway (a private area/bedroom in the villa away from everyone else but still not the cameras Obviously this is love island) is open and the islanders get to choose a couple to stay there for the night. Having had to put up with their blossoming love and flirting 24 fucking 7 everyone else unanimously screams “jake and amy!!!! It has to be Jake and amy!!!!” and they just grin at each other

· The bed is so big and covered in rose petals & there happens to be a very handy bowl of condoms on the bedside table…at first they just talk about how nice it is to get some alone time and just hang out….which of course turns to kissing and then making out and then………under the covers they go (for those who don’t actually watch the show it’s literally like seeing sims wahooing but irl) (maybe we see a cheeky black and white shot of amy moaning)

· The next morning amy wakes up with the BIGGEST grin on her face and her hair all mussed, and she kisses jake awake “morning, baby” and he immediately pulls her into him and kisses her back

Jake’s talking head: “Last night? Last night was….it was amazing. Stupid good. That’s all I’m going to say.” our boy!!! Cannot!!! Stop smiling!!!!

· When they get back to the main villa they naturally segregate into boys and girls and the guys immediately ask jake “how was your night? Did you get any??” “oh my god, did you FRENCH???” “charles, no nothing happened”

· (in true Jamie style) he goes over to the day beds with amy and lets her cuddle into his chest and asks if it’s okay if he tells people what happened in the hideaway - he’s a gentleman!!! And he’s always going to respect her boundaries!! Amy tells him of course that’s okay, people are going to find out anyway and that it’s really sweet of him to check with her…and she laughs to herself when jake goes back over to the boys and she hears charles scream “I KNEW YOU WERE GLOWING”

· Rosa and Gina casually-but-not-so-subtly ask amy “so did you shag? Tell us everything” and amy just smiles….rosa and gina look at each other like noice, they’re so proud of her!!

Rosa later confides in amy “the amy i knew two weeks ago would nEver have done that with Teddy…i’m happy for you, santiago”

· CASA AMOR. the boys have to sneak out of the villa (jake goes into full on spy mode rolling around on the carpet) and get shipped off to a separate one that has 6 new girls in it and then 6 new boys enter the old villa to shake things up (reality television at its absolute FINEST YALL)…the producers’ twist? Fucking Constantine Kane gets put in the girls’ villa - amy’s eyes widen out of their sockets when she sees her most random ex enter. He of course is still so in love with her, or so he claims, and tells her how excited he is to couple up with her and share a bed and win her over and get married and have babies with her. Amy naturally is like no way jose and spends the entire time trying to avoid him (with the help of rosa) hiding everywhere she can fit and sleeping on the sofa at night (and, also naturally, she worries that Sophia 2.0 is with jake right now and she realises it kind of makes her sick to her stomach thinking about jake kissing another girl….maybe she likes him even more than she thought she did?)

· Just to mess with him, jake gets a text that has a photo of constantine trying to kiss amy and poor bb gets beside himself with worry…

Jake’s talking head: “I mean Amy can do whatever she wants, I’m obviously not going to stop her from being with another person - we’ve only known each other for what a month…” [he looks away from the camera and rubs his face with his hand] “But I really like her…so it just kinda…sucks.”

· OBVIOUSLY he has nothing to worry about and his face!!!!!!!!! Just lights up in relief!!!!! When amy walks back into the og villa during the Most Dramatic recoupling without bringing back anyone from the new one!!! She rushes over to him and cups his face with her hands and kisses him hard in front of everyone

· “I missed you, you know” “I missed you too” “Hey I have to ask…that guy you were with-” “You saw that?” “I got sent a photo…nothing…nothing happened between you, right?” “Yes - I mean no. Things did happen. In the past, on the outside. But I was young and I regret it so much - i tried to avoid him the entire time in casa amor. Honestly all I could think about was how much i wanted to be hanging out with you” “really?”  she moves to sit on his lap, wraps her arms around his next and kisses his cheek.  “the only person i want to be in this villa with is you” “i could say the same thing about you, ames” and then they get straight back to kissing :’)))

Iain: “nope, that’s definitely not a tear in my eye”

· One morning the islanders wake up to the delightful sound of babies screaming bc you guessed it!! baby challenge!!! (i.e. towards the end of the summer, the couples are given plastic babies and have to look after them for a day)

Amy is SO excited and throws the covers off running towards the cribs (after Charles and Genevieve) screaming - “We made a baby! Oh my god I have a baby!” leaving a half-awake dazed and confused jake still in bed

Jake & Rosa eventually bother getting out of their respective beds, definitely not as excited as the rest of the villa, but jake will admit his heart flutters a little seeing amy cradling a plastic baby to her chest so attentively

“Jake! Look we have a little girl!” “awww she looks just like you, Ames” “we have to name her” “Nakatomi” jake answers immediately, to which amy whines “jaaaake take it seriously! I’m not having a daughter called Nakatomi” “fine, i’ll compromise on Holly”

At first jake is a little apprehensive about having this new Responsibility (and he’s not about to blurt out all his dad issues on national television) and so he keeps his distance and mainly lets amy take care of their new offspring in the morning (“amessss why does it keep crying?” “i cannot Believe you would call our baby it, peralta!”) That is until the girls get sent off on a Mommy’s Lunch, turning the villa into daddy day care….

He knows how much Amy loves this little baby so he decides he is going to take this seriously and it doesn’t take long for him to realise that??? This is kinda fun??? He takes Holly on strolls in her buggy around the villa and plays with her in the pool with charles and terry and (tugging at the public’s heart) sits on a day bed with her and tells her just how awesome her mummy is

When amy gets back, her heart completely MELTS at the sight of her new bf with their little one……and they end up talking about how they’re the best parents in the entire villa nay the world (“our kid is WAY cuter than terry and sharon’s” “oh for SURE”) & then of course win the challenge

· For the Final Date extravaganza they go on a helicopter ride and ngl even Amy is beside herself with excitement…they’ve spent the last 6 weeks talking about their favourite action films etc. and now it’s like they’re in one! They definitely act like literal children/real cops pretending they’re on a manhunt for a fugitive (instead of appreciating the view like normal people)

They get treated to a romantic dinner afterwards followed by dancing with live musicians and that’s when they FINALLY say those 3 words to each other….(well 5 if you count “noice, smort”)

· AND THE WINNER IS…..jake and amy obviously this is a b99 x love island au :’) they’re so sweet and humble about it & amy makes jake promise on live national television that he’s not just going to spend all their cash prize on sneakers. They each end up with over a million followers on their instagrams, where they regularly post photos of each other on date night/ at premieres/ evenings at home…and also video sagas of them pranking each other which starts with amy pieing jake’s face unexpectedly and escalates into fake proposals and frozen shoes….and maybe some *light* tasering

· Of course they end up getting married for realz and a baby announcement follows not too long after that…they are utterly the nation’s sweethearts (and Charles keeps doing interviews to the press saying he’s the one who brought them together in the villa from the beginning)

so. okay.

as you may know if you’ve followed me for a while, or if you’ve read my bio once, I’m bi. what you may not know is that I wrote my graduation project on the importance and evolution of LGBTQ+ representation and know quite a bit about the topic. this is what I have to say on the matter of bi! Jake.

it might not matter to you, personally, if Jake is canonically bisexual or not. but objectively it does matter. this does not mean that b99 will automatically be a terrible show who made an unforgivable mistake if they choose not to make his bisexuality canon. however, it does mean that what they choose to do in this situation matters. they have spent the majority of season six peppering in hints of him being attracted to men - in a way they haven’t even done with their canon LGBTQ+ characters.

bi men are one of the most underrepresented groups on television, and as someone married to a woman and clearly isn’t going to divorce her, confirming his bisexuality even through a cold open or a mention, he would be revolutionary. which shouldn’t have to be the case, but sadly, it is. b99 has a choice between providing the canon representation which is already being strongly implied, or not doing it. if they decide not to, they will - whether or not they’re intending to - contribute to the belief that media does not have to give us representation as long as they have Good Woke Straight characters, and that same-sex attraction can be repeatedly used as a joke without characters coming out.

that does not make them evil. the good straights are important. b99 already has them - Charles and Terry, for example. Amy, I guess (I disagree on a headcanon level; but ya, I’d say she’s heavily straight-coded). but good straights are never going to be more important than real LGBTQ+ representation and the power it has. for some people, representation in media may be the only positive reference they have access to in order to understand themselves and feel visible. it can literally be life-saving. good straights are important, yes, but they’re never going to be as crucial as positive LGBTQ+ portrayals are.

yes, canon will have to state that he’s bi. they can do it in a cold open or a quick mention for all I care; actually, it could even be preferable, as it shows there are multiple ways to come to terms with your sexuality and come out. but they will have to state it somehow. I know this because while I was not in the fandom at the time, I have heard directly from people who received asks before Rosa’s coming out about the fact that she was definitely straight and they were stupid for thinking anything else. unless b99 actively confirms it, there will always be people who insist on Jake being straight.

they could have chosen not to put themselves in this situation. they could have kept the jokes about his same-sex attraction to a minimum, only including a couple instances, kind of like they do with Charles. but they’ve kept it coming. at this point, Jake refers to finding people of the same gender hot more than Holt or Rosa does. so they are, inevitably, in a position where they have to make a choice and the choice they make will have consequences!

it is, of course, one hundred percent okay to not want to care about this question. no one is forcing you to have the discussion. you can choose to engage with it or you can opt for enjoying this show without criticism and let it be your weekly twenty minute break from reality. if you can do that and want to do that and it’s what makes you feel good - perfect! please, go ahead. but you can’t complain about other people wanting to talk about this.

the thing is, the moment you expose yourself to other people’s opinions while choosing to be on a forum which allows for us to discuss a show, or even the moment you talk about this show with another person irl, you’re opening up for discussion. it’s called freedom of expression. we have to be allowed to talk about this. no one is saying you have to care about it or want to discuss it - but whatever you do, please don’t call yourself ‘woke’ or imply you’re better because you stay away from it. saying that it’s okay to not care about a subject is not a brave statement. it’s completely fine, but please don’t act like caring/not caring about this it makes someone a better or worse person. please. (I’m not saying people have done this or calling anyone out, but please, please, don’t.)

what LGBTQ+ representation means to LGBTQ+ people is always going to be more important than the comfort of straight people. if you’re uncomfortable or against the idea of b99 introducing a third LGBTQ+ character, please ask yourself why that is. you might not need it, but other people do.

(I would like to clarify that I am, genuinely, not aiming my critique to any specific individuals. I love this fandom a lot. I love this show. I love letting it be my own little way of escaping reality, and I rarely criticize it. but it’s not a flawless show! it can do better, and there is nothing wrong with wanting it to be better. I know this might sound crazy to some of you, but actually, you can love something wholeheartedly while also recognizing that it’s imperfect. it’s true.)

Fandom memery

@tarysande tagged me to do the thing a million years ago, and I might be late but I’m here! Let’s do this!

Three Fandoms:

1. Mass Effect

2. Brooklyn Nine-Nine

3. Stranger Things

The First Character You Loved:

1. Liara T’Soni. She was just so cute and shy and bookish and easily flustered, and I loved her immediately. I knew nothing about the game when I started it, so when the dialogue with Kaidan turned flirty with Kaidan, I was like “oh snap! You can do this??” But THEN things turned flirty with Liara and I was just “BYE KAIDAN I HAVE A BLUE BOO NOW.”

2. Terry Jeffords. He was obviously the level-headed voice of reason who had little patience for Jake’s antics. Also, he’s a devoted husband and father who makes his family important to his identity from the very beginning, and that’s something I’d love to see more of in general.

3. Benny Hammond. He was just so understanding of Eleven being scared and obviously not capable of complex communication, and he was a giant, soft teddy bear, AND WE WERE ROBBED.

The Character You Never Expected to Love So Much:

1. Garrus Vakarian. I read a lot of people saying they were thirsty for him in the first game, but I side-eyed him in that game a lot, ngl. I saw him as a loose cannon looking to make Shepard his excuse for bad behavior, and DID YOU HEAR WHAT HE SAID TO TALI IN THE ELEVATOR OMFG. To be clear, I didn’t dislike him. I just didn’t trust him. But he arcs so hard over the next few games and gains complexity, maturity, and vulnerability, AND I JUST LOVE HIM A LOT OKAY.

2. Jake Peralta. He annoyed me a lot at the start of the show, but like Garrus, he arcs hard. I feel like he starts out as the standard “Everyman” who’s supposedly brilliant but really he’s pretty mediocre and his self-regard is entirely unearned. But then he learns and grows and treats his colleagues as equals and family. I feel like he goes from being a lone wolf to the family pup, and I love his development.

3. Joyce Byers. Her first scene put me off. A lot. She’s chastising her teenage son (who’s making breakfast and who’s working nights to supplement her income) for not knowing where HER child is?? I raised my eyebrow at her pretty hard for that. But then as you start to learn more about her situation and how ready she is lay down her life for her children and how she doesn’t let ANYONE tell her she’s crazy when she KNOWS she’s right and NO ONE TOUCH HER SHE’S MINE AND I LOVE HER.

The Character You Relate to the Most:

1. Tali’Zorah. She’s a huge nerd who has no idea how to adult and pretty much relies on bullshitting her way into getting people to give her a chance to prove herself.

2. Amy Santiago. Again, a huge nerd who’s super organized and color codes everything and developed a deep sense of competition because her brothers always told her she couldn’t do things when she was a kid.

3. Joyce Byers. She’s been through some shit, but she would die for the ones she loves. She’s not tiny, she’s concentrated fury.

The Character You’d Slap:

1. Admiral Hackett. LET SHEPARD REST GDI. I don’t hate him, but he needs to learn that the Alliance has more commanders in it than just Shepard.

2. Hitchcock. Boy needs to stop creeping on ladies, realize he loves Scully, and marry that man already.

3. BILLY FUCKING HARGROVE. THAT RACIST SEXIST ABUSIVE UNSTABLE PIECE OF SHIT. That being said, I do realize the irony that he’s likely the way he is because he’s been slapped too much. But still:

Three Favorite Characters (in order of preference):

IN ORDER OF PREFERENCE???? WHAT KIND OF MONSTER!

1. Nyreen Kandros, Garrus Vakarian, Tali’Zorah

2. Rosa Diaz, Amy Santiago, Terry Jeffords

3. Joyce Byers, Dustin Henderson, Lucas Sinclair

A Character You Liked at First, But Don’t Anymore/Are Having a Hard Time with at the Moment:

1. Kaidan Alenko. I don’t hate him, and I understand a lot of people love him, which they’re free to do ofc. Specifically, it’s the romanced Kaidan that turns me off. He puts so much responsibility on Shepard for his feelings and even accuses them of cheating when he’s the one who did the breaking up (thanks BioWare for letting m!Shep defend himself to Ashley but not letting FemShep do the same with Kaidan that was great real classy and not sexist at all). I’m not a fan of that dynamic at all.

2. My love for the characters on this show has only grown <3

3. Karen Wheeler. I was a proud member of the Karen Wheeler Defense Squad in season 1, but then the Duffer brothers had to go and make her completely disinterested in her kids and then set her up with Billy and UGH EW GROSS NO THANK YOU. Season 2 Karen is a completely different person from season 1 Karen, and I will never forgive the Duffer brothers for creating an interesting, complex character and then going “oh wait you weren’t supposed to like her, here let’s ruin her for you.” KAREN WHEELER DESERVED BETTER.

A Character You Didn’t Like at First but Do Now:

1. Ashley Williams. While I never thought of Ashley as racist (in the Mass Effect universe, humans are on the receiving end of cultural and institutional racism and reverse-racism isn’t a thing so), the isolationist beliefs she holds in the first game put me off. Again, like Garrus, she arcs pretty hard and learns and grows and matures. At this point, I’m furious we didn’t get to romance her in the third game.

2. Charles Boyle, kind of. I didn’t exactly dislike him to begin with, but I found his obsession with Rosa creepy and distasteful. Once the show ditched that dynamic, I could appreciate him for being the goofy oddball he is.

3. Steve Harrington. In fact, I hated him quite a bit at first. But once he ditches his asshole friends and realizes he’s being an insufferable douche canoe, I started to warm to him. By the end of the season 2, I was ready to lay down my life for this disaster of a den mother.

Three OTPs:

1. Shakarian, Shali, Nyreen/Not being fridged

2. Jake/Amy, Holt/Kevin, Gina/Her phone

3. Joyce/Hopper, Jonathan/Nancy/Steve, Lucas/Max

And now for no-obligation tagging! @servantofclio, @mordinette, @pagerunner, @probablylostrightnow, and @bloomingcnidarians. Only if you want to!

Hey can you maybe write something from late season 1 please? I love pining Jake! It’s okay if you don’t want to

Jake remembers when he first realized.  When he realized just how much he really liked Amy; when he realized her eyes weren’t just brown but melted chocolate, almost liquid in the sunlight. Or how she always faintly smelled like clean sheets and lavender.

And just her. Everything. All of her.

All it takes is a twenty second flirt and then, he’s snared.

He doesn’t plan on telling anybody. It’s nobody’s business except his own. Plus, he isn’t fully sure he likes her. Maybe he just stares after her because her ponytail shines under the lights or maybe when she smiles his heart nearly bursts because she just has a pretty smile. Truth is, he’s bad at emotions and he has a long list of short-lived relationships that is proof of that. So, he doesn’t know to react to this.

Because, there’s something in his chest that expands when she’s around. It’s like his heart is being pumped full of air like a balloon. He fears that one day he’s going to explode all over the precinct, leaving the walls stained with blood, hidden feelings and untold confessions.

His heart expands most when she gets that little quirk in her eyebrow in concentration. He just wants to press on it with his thumb and iron out the wrinkle in her brow. It also happens when she smiles and the world just stops.

Honestly, he’s unsure of what to do with these feelings and even more so, he’s frightened at the idea of ruining a year-long friendship. More than anything, she’s Amy, his partner and (don’t tell Charles), one of his closest friends. If he ruins it by confessing that he thinks that the stars are jealous of her eyes, he’s going to hate himself forever. 

What if he tells her and she turns him down and moves to another precinct?

So, he buries those feelings deep down. Even deeper than his feelings about his father. So deep he’ll need more than a shovel to un-inter them.

However, it doesn’t take a shovel. All it takes is one day in the tactical village, a pilsner-loving guy named Teddy and a course record.

Jake loves the tactical village days. Being a badass cop is literally why he signed up for the academy and ,frankly, he doesn’t do much of that. Most cop work is paperwork and staring at Amy from the other side of a desk, but tactical village day? Jake thrives during tactical village day. He can’t wait to shoot new weapons and loose himself in the smell of gunpowder, adrenaline, and make-believe characters.

She sits behind him on the bus and Boyle makes a passing comment about the two of them. He brushes it off but in the graveyard inside his body, his feelings-for-Amy heart thumps.  His very own tell-tale-heart.

Then, enter Teddy. 

Jake tries to ignore the way her face lights up when she sees him. He butts in and watches as her eyes don’t tear away from him, as if one look away would hurt her. He walks away when he can’t ignore the beating beneath the floorboards and he’s afraid she’ll hear it. 

Still, he stays close to her.

He knows he doesn’t own her. She’s free to date whoever she wants and if that includes guys who know every single damn police code known to man, who is to judge? Especially if said guy beats course records and she raises her eyebrows in an impressed manner.

And then, that’s when the feelings rise from the tomb in which they are interred. They breathe and they jump and bleed.

Winning that record is suddenly the most important thing in his life and when he does, he wants to cheer because, yes, he thwarted it. She isn’t going to spare Teddy a second chance– it doesn’t work.  The exhilarating high that he felt before comes to a halt when she tells him “Actually, Teddy asked me to get dinner, so maybe I can meet up with you guys afterwards?” because no, it wasn’t supposed to be this way.

Her cheek dimples as she speaks and in the melted chocolate of her eyes, he can see it. She’s excited. She wants to go out with him. Something inside of him breaks. 

He pouts at the bar, desperately trying not to think they’re probably kissing right now and her sunshine smile is probably warming up his entire face.

But, Boyle is right. How is he to expect to her to not date a guy who asked her out. How is he to expect her to date him when he didn’t even tell her his feelings; when his feelings are still dusting of the dirt after they rose from the grave?

How?

So, he goes home. He crafts a plan. He’ll corner her in the evidence room- No, too creepy. He’ll wait beside her car after work, that way no one can see his humiliation if she says no. Wait, no that’s way more creepier. He’ll just ask as she’s leaving, real casual about it as if he was asking her if she’s seen their shared stapler.

That night he practices in front of the mirror. “Oh, hey Amy. How was your date with Teddy? Boring, I bet.-” he groans.  “Hey, Amy did you know that your smile is like a-”

He sighs and rubs his face tiredly. He tries again, “I think something between us could be really good. Like really, really good. I’m pretty sure they’ll write songs about us. Or maybe just about you because you’re like a thousand suns rolled-” a knock at his door startles him and he clears his throat.

“Coming!”

It’s Charles and he’s holding a trophy, more specifically, the coolest kill trophy.

“Charles, you won coolest kill? Weren’t you killed?”

“Nope. I know you were pretty sad about Amy so I went and bought one myself. Now, I know that it’s not exactly everlasting love like Amy-”

“I didn’t even say I liked her.”

“Oh, yeah? Didn’t I just hear you practicing in the mirror?”

He sighs. “Come in.”

He’s nervous all day and he waits till she’s leaving and everybody is almost gone to stop her. But, she’s wearing lipstick. He hadn’t seen her wear lipstick since she dated Clark and he wonders if that means-

“Teddy and I are going out again.”

And everything shatters like porcelain. It starts from the top to the bottom, the ridge runs down his chest and to his feet.  

So, he swallows his pride, holds his porcelain body tight and tells her to have a good time.

Later, when it’s just him in his lowly bed, he goes over his options.

Option number one: don’t tell her anything at all. Simply sit and stew on it for all eternity. Watch as she gets married and has kids with some other dude and cry for all eternity.

Option number two: just confess.  Maybe she’ll tell Teddy to beat it and maybe, just maybe, she feels the same.

Option number three: Ignore option one and two and instead stare at the ceiling until your eyes droop and you fall asleep.

He slightly struggles with hiding his feelings, especially now that Boyle knows about them. He’s actually doing pretty good. 

Option number three is going fine. Amy doesn’t suspect a thing and he’s gotten pretty good at pretending like he likes listening about Teddy.

But then, he gets fired.

Holt tells him to get fired. Trust me, he says and Jake does it without thinking. He trusts Holt, respects him. He wasn’t planning on being sent away for six months but maybe it’s what he needs because the bees in his stomach aren’t leaving. And maybe, just maybe, in order for them to leave, he has to.

He thinks he’s missed after he’s packed up his things but he catches her in the parking lot, spotting her hair like liquid ink in the moonlight. As he looks down at her eyes and wonders how they sparkle so much in the middle of the night, the dam breaks.

It all comes out of him like a river.

“I kinda wish something could happen between us.” he even throws in a “romantic stylez” to make it more casual but his heart threatens to leave out of his throat. He doesn’t let her speak, instead he talks until he can longer breathe.

But, as he’s leaving, he thinks he sees something in her eyes. A spark of something. Recognition or maybe something mutual or reciprocated. Or maybe, it’s just plain old surprise. He walks away before she can reply and before he can fully tell what that spark is.   

And later, when he’s deep in the mob and it’s night and it’s quiet he thinks about her little gasp and her unhinged mouth as he walked away, Then, only then, does he let himself wonder if anything had changed had he waited those .5 seconds.

fanfic: said i wasn’t gonna lose my head [brooklyn nine nine, jake x amy]

this fic is now basically old enough to buy its own beer but I never uploaded it here, so here it is in the interests of continuity. a dialogue-only fic where everything’s made up and the timelines don’t matter (set at some vague and frankly irrelevant point during season one) said i wasn’t gonna lose my head five scenes from a fake marriage (+ one from a real one)

i. a twist of fate makes life worthwhile "Undercover? With all due respect, Captain, this is insane. There is no way Peralta and I would make a convincing married couple." "Captain, I think what Amy's really trying to say is that she's afraid that in that scenario, she won't be able to keep her hands off me. In fact, I'd like to propose Undercover Lovers Rule Number 1: Santiago is not allowed to fall in love with me, no matter how charmingly irresistible I am as a fake husband." "Sir, I would like to counter with the proposition that when I murder Peralta, it's automatically ruled justified." "Oh, I think we both know it'd be a crime of passion. Speaking of passion—" "It's illegal to marry a twelve year old, Captain. Even one trapped in a 30-something body." "I knew you were thinking about my body." "Thinking about the best way to dispose of it." "Amy, that hurts. Lately I'm feeling like I'm just not enough for you anymore. What do you even want out of this relationship?" "Captain—!" ii. these precious moments, we have so few "I call the left side of the bed!" "In a world where the left side is the couch downstairs, you got it." "Amy, darling, we talked about this. How are we going to work through our intimacy issues if you won't let me in?" "Oh, I can give you intimacy issues." "I should let you know, the way you're saying everything through gritted teeth just makes you all the more attractive to me." "Can we just go over our cover stories again?" "Ugh, fine. I am Jason Pittman, millionaire genius playboy philanthropist. You are Alisa Serrano. You were my personal chef, until I swept you off your feet and did things to you in the kitchen that your strict adherence to the health code just could not abide. We were married in secret on my private island - our private island now, dear - after a torrid and passionate affair, because your family did not approve." "Literally none of that is what we agreed on." "And now we live in this gigantic suburban dream house, which is far too much for just the two of us even with my extravagant tastes, and that means we've gotta be doing it like rabbits to try to fill the place." "... yep. You're definitely sleeping on the couch." iii. something in the way you move "Please act normal this time, okay?" "Santiago, I don't know what you're talking about. All I did was tell them that we hooked up at a UFO convention and it's been nothing but happiness and paranormal sightings since. That's way more normal than those weirdos who met wearing Lycra. Lycra, Amy. That's just giving everything away straight up." "It was a yoga class." "I stand by my phrase." "And maybe you could stop showing everyone we meet that creepy comfit you had the sketch artist do of what our baby would look like?" "We have to be convincing. And Jason Jr is adorable, thank you very much. He inherited my best features. So, like, all of them." "Just try to be... well... not so you when you talk to the neighbours. We need them to like us." "That mangled attempt at a pot roast that you forced on the guys next door probably didn't help with that." "You know, sometimes when my mother asks me what I see in you, I just don't know what to tell her."

iv. just can't let you go "This is exhausting. How many dinner parties can one street possibly hold? Tell me there's not something suspicious about people with this much free time." "Well, one of them's a murderer, so... yes." "I'm starting to wish they'd hurry up and murder again so we'd at least have something to do besides make small talk. That's bad, right?" "At least there's food. My stakeout bag doesn't really go with this outfit and I can only fit so many peanuts in my pockets." "Please tell me you didn— you did. Jake!" "You know I get snacky!" "We're getting nowhere. Everyone's too busy criticising the cheese board behind the Gundersons' backs to do anything scandalous. Not that they're wrong. I mean, pepper jelly next to the Monforte Toscano? The Captain would be appalled. I can hear him now. "Santiago, I am appalled." " "Okay, Boyle, you stay here and keep an eye on who's leaving, and with whom. Maybe we'll catch a break and see something we're not meant to. I'm gonna make one more sweep, see if the wine has loosened any tongues." "Could you maybe sweep by those little crab puffs, if there's any left?" "If my wife requests crab puffs, then by god I will return with crab puffs." "I knew there was a reason I married you." v. i wasn't gonna fall in love again "Another successful undercover operation—" "It was our first." "— mostly thanks to me, of course." "You accidentally caught Roger Gunderson dragging the body to his car while you were trying to stuff our excess trash in his garbage bin." "Still counts." "Whatever you say, Pineapples." "Admit it. Being Mrs Pittman this week wasn't the worst." "Okay, it wasn't all bad. It was actually kinda fun." "Not all bad, actually kinda fun. Title of your— ow, don't hit me, I was going to say campaign slogan. Okay, no, I was gonna say sex tape." "So we're done with that nice moment we were just having, then." "One nice moment is all you get with me. But you never know, we were so good at this - and by we I of course mean me - we might become the go-to team for infiltrating the upper middle class. I didn't learn how to pronounce gremolada for nothing." "I guess I could have you as my fake husband again. If I had to."

+ (a little way down the road) vi. my destiny's with you "I think I actually have to credit our success at this one to both of us equally." "I'm so flattered." "Can I say, real marriage? Surprisingly much less complicated than fake marriage." "It is easier not have to elaborately lie about who we are, or our jobs, or how we met, or the fact that we weren't actually together at the time..." "And we got presents for this one, and your head didn't look so awkwardly Photoshopped-on in our wedding photos. But on the other hand... bills, and whatnot. And I have to buy vegetables now. For eating. Because health." "Yes, Peralta, despite my better instincts I'd kind of like to keep you around for a while." "You're a very intelligent woman, Mrs Peralta. Happy anniversary. " - - - - - also @ a03 if you’ve never experience the musical treat that is “pop! goes my heart”, after which this fic and its subtitles were named, you frankly haven’t lived.

B99 Hiatus Writing Challenge

In the immortal words of Captain Raymond Jacob Holt, “EVERYTHING IS GARBAGE.” – The finale left our favorite squad in pain, we have to wait months for new content, and Dianetti still isn’t canon.

Even Terry knows what we need most in these trying times: fanfiction. 

Under the cut is a list of 30 prompts/summaries put together with a ton of help from @stardustsantiago, @peraltiagoisland, @scullysthumbtacks, @three-drink-amy​, and @dogworldchampion. Feel free to run away with any (or many) of these plot bunnies!! Let’s make this hiatus as gr99 as possible. ★

1. He’s still chuckling at her screaming sheep prank as he walks out of the break room. He’s four paces away when he turns back, ready to stick his tongue out at her and yell one last comeback. Except that’s when he sees it: the Double Tuck.

2. An emergency at the precinct calls Raymond away from home, leaving Kevin alone to babysit little Marcus for the rest of the day. Everything’s all well and good until pre-nap story time, when Kevin realizes he’s never met another child so emotional over Humpty Dumpty falling off a wall. He manages to calm little Marcus down by suggesting they make french toast with bacon smiles for dinner, but the child ends up sobbing at the sight of the refrigerator. (Alternatively: 4-year-old Marcus bonds with his Uncle Ray-Ray’s boyfriend.)

3. “GET THAT LITTLE DEMON AWAY FROM ME.” “Jake, he’s just a baby. Also, weren’t you the one who rented this fur ball for the night?” “I DIDN’T REALIZE I WAS PAYING FOR SHERE KHAN JUNIOR.”

The relief team takes over. Jake and Amy don’t catch the bad guys. The night still ends up on their good dates list.

4. Five hours. No texts or calls or selfies or anything from him for five hours. Amy should have realized it sooner. She should have believed he was being sabotaged. She shouldn’t have driven off after he said, “See you never.” 

5. “Which bird is that?” “It’s the shut the hell up or leave me alone bird.” “Is that its Latin name?”

Rosa Diaz is a graduate student at Cornell looking into going on sabbatical to study birds at the University of Buenos Aires. She’s pretty set in her plans, until she meets novice bird watcher Gina Linetti.

6. Jake is a disgruntled bookshop worker, just trying to save up to pay off his crushing debt. His life is a monotonous cycle of shipment unpacking, shelf restocking, and cashier manning until Amy comes in with a rare old book request, and they spend an entire afternoon searching the store for it. (Truthfully, he knows exactly where to find it, but he maybe doesn’t want his time with her to end.)

7. “Hey, it’s me. Please open the door... Come on, let’s talk. I’m sorry.” “Can I help you?” “Oh, no, you’re not Amy.”

After the most disastrous double date in history, Jake knocks on Amy’s door instead of Sophia’s.

8. Jake Peralta is one of the best wedding planners in Brooklyn. He can handle any wedding with his usual pizzazz and charm. Except for Amy Santiago’s.

9. “All aboard the Terryliner. Next stop, Holtsovania.” “Wait! Can we drop by the farmers market first?”

A perp Charles has been chasing for months surfaces out of the blue. Nikolaj is left at the precinct, and the rest of the squad take turns watching him.

10. He’d hated this song since his bar mitzvah ages ago, but suddenly, he couldn’t bring himself to keep hating it. Not when Amy’s hand was clasped in his. Not when she was close enough for him to see the lighter flecks in her eyes. Not when her smile had him falling deeper and deeper in love.

11. “Geez, Santiago, you didn’t have to pay $950 just for a second date with me! I didn’t realize you were so bummed our date last month was cut short by that case.”

The NYPD Men’s Charity Date Auction is coming up, and it’s Jake’s first time participating in the event. He’s been boasting about how excited he is to get free dinner and help out the local children’s hospital, but truthfully he’s scared out of his mind. (Rumor has it that the crazy 2nd floor receptionist from the Seven-Three was gonna drop at least $500 for a night with him.) He’s as stunned as the entire audience when Amy pulls through with a winning bid at the very last second.

12. Gina Linetti is stuck as assistant manager at the worst sunglass kiosk this side of Brooklyn. Her life changes when Rosa Diaz walks up and demands the darkest and shadiest pair they've got.

13. “Are you hearing that? What the hell is that noise?” “Do you mean all that thumping, yelling, and plates crashing?” “That plus the endless loop of Beyonce songs.” “Yeah, that’s Rosa and Gina having sex.” “WHAT? EW.” “Oh my god. Am I neighbors with a homophobe?”

Apartment neighbors Jake and Amy bond over the loud, crazy people on their floor.

14. I made a deal to save your life, and we can never be with each other ever again or else the person I made the deal with is going to kill one of us and make the other watch... I’m so sorry, it was the only way.

15. “So if I transferred anywhere else, you wouldn’t care at all?” “No, of course not. Do whatever you want, you know, it’s your life.”

He should have said something. Because now she’s gone to work for the Special Victims Unit, and he’s pretty sure she took a part of his soul with her.

16. Amy Santiago is about to have a traditional summer with her family, including her close friend Rosa, at Kellerman’s, a summer lodge she goes to every year. But then, she meets Jake Peralta, a talented dance instructor from the wrong side of the tracks. Will she have the time of her life? (Dirty Dancing!AU)

17. “Peralta, I swear to god, if you get blue soda in my car, I’ll kill you.” “Okay, but can I still eat my pocket donut, though?”

Jake and Amy go on a road trip, minus the complicated relationships but still with the poorly disguised feelings.

18. Midnight motorcycle races weren’t exactly Gina’s style, but the girl in the black leather jacket riding the supercharged R1 has her intrigued. She’s even more impressed when this rider turns up as a classical ballerina in their local dance competition.

19. “Ugh, Dad, The Enigma won’t leave me alone! Today she followed me around the entire playground.” “Now, Nikolaj, be nice to your cousin. She just loves you so much!”  

20. We’re partners for an essay project in History of Magic, and we need to get a book from the restricted section, but I’m not sure how the books are organized in this section, and you won’t stop trying to find weird sex books, like, no I don’t think they keep the wizard’s kama sutra in the restricted section, what is wrong with you? (Hogwarts!AU)

21. “Remember when you got arrested and had to go to jail for three months?” “Yeah, good times.”

The squad and their kids get together for a barbeque, now that they’re all happy.

22. Lieutenant Melanie Hawkins is the best cop in the NYPD for a reason. As they’re being transferred to Rikers, Jake and Rosa find out they’re actually being sent to further infiltrate a notorious drug cartel. And thus begins one of the biggest, most dangerous undercover operations in history.

23. “Detective David Majors is already on this case. I need someone to partner up with him.” “Sir, with all due respect, I’m the obvious choice. I mean, look at me.” “I’m not sure you’re right for this, Peralta. The marshal says the detectives have to go undercover as a couple, and I’m not sure the group to be infiltrated is quite so progressive… I think I’ll send in Santiago.”

Amy gets assigned to date Blotter Dynamite Dave Majors for an indefinite amount of time. Jake considers ruining the operation in the name of love. (Fake Dating!AU - except not with Jake)

24. She’s pale yet covered in bruises, and her movements are slower and more guarded. There’s nothing he wants to do more than just hold her, but from behind the glass separating the two of them, all he can do is ask, “What happened?” (Alternatively: Amy gets injured in the field while Jake is in jail.)

25. “Sir, how did you and Kevin get engaged?” “I don’t think this is much of a proposal story, Jacob. We heard gay marriage had been legalized and then headed straight for City Hall.”

It’s only half an hour into this stakeout, but to Jake it feels like it’s been an eternity. There’s a ring box burning a hole in his pocket, and a jumbled mess of ideas in his head. He knows Amy wouldn’t want him turning to anyone for approval, but the longer they sit in this car, the more inclined he is to ask Holt for advice.

26. I am Head Girl, and I’ve been asked to give a presentation on safe sexual practices, and you will not stop asking me uncomfortable questions to embarrass me. Please stop, I know you know the answer to that, we did it last night. (Hogwarts!AU)

27.  “What the hell, Gina! I thought this was supposed to be a Hip Hop class?” “Rosa, Rosa, Rosa. Did you seriously think I wanted a Step Up-esque number for the first dance out our wedding?” “Uhm. Yes?”

Gina tricks Rosa into taking a couples ballroom dance class with her.

28. A tragic car crash kills Terry and Sharon, leaving their baby daughter Ava to their mutual friends Jake and Amy, who don’t get along at all. (Life As We Know It!AU)

29. Jake and Amy manage to keep their relationship a secret, but that means Dozerman stays captain of the precinct.

30. “Just you and me, and Baby makes three.”

There’s a binder full of color coded information on the shelf, and a Die Hard-themed onesie in the dresser. Jake and Amy’s baby is on the way.

Okay but here's how I see it- Adrian is Rosa's Teddy and Milton is Gina's Sophia

Let me explain:

On the surface, and even beneath the surface- Teddy and Adrian are totally different people. Complete opposites, if you will. But for Amy and Rosa? They serve the same purpose- the ones who seem Just Perfect but at the same time, not really.

Teddy's like Amy in the way that he's very organized and likes supposedly "nerdy" stuff such as police codes and binders. Extreme Amy, if you will. But ultimately, Teddy wasn't the person Amy wanted, or needed. Deep down they weren't similar in the right ways. Amy wanted to become the youngest police captain on the force, Teddy wanted to brew and bottle pilsners.

Teddy was nice but he was too boring, to quote Amy. Too tame. Yet, Jake could always be counted on to make Amy laugh, and he could challenge her and he could cater to her competitive streak because he had one of his own.

Likewise, Adrian is like that for Rosa. They both like... Nancy Myers and... knives? Honestly I don't even know. But they share similarities, and Sketchy Adrian just seems Perfect for Rosa, doesn't he?

Except- Rosa's been mentioning Adrian less and less, actually not at all for most of the second half of the season, and while she's been maintaining some semblance of her love for him this episode with her "yeah I just want him to be happy" and "good looking guy, weird energy" it's all falling flat- especially when he starts snorting cocaine on purpose and gets all... high, to say the least.

Sorry, but that doesn't look like someone who's mildly amused by the love of her life.

Also the way she fiddles with that cocaine knife when he starts getting hyped up makes her seem scarily angry or at the very least annoyed??

Sure, Adrian means well and he does love Rosa a lot- but how long can Rosa tell herself that that's enough?

Rosa is a "badass but not an anarchist". Adrian would kill a child if said child was a "dick". Not trying to say that makes Adrian problematic or anything, this is a comedy and he said that for comedic purposes- Jason Mantzoukas is amazing and honestly cracks me up a bunch. But fundamentally, Rosa and Adrian have different rules, and that sets them apart in ways that will ultimately make them incompatible in the long run.

She chose the Nine-Nine and left him in Argentina by himself. Even faced with the prospect of fifteen years in jail she chose her family over a fresh start in Argentina with no scorpions/too many scorpions. He wasn't enough.

On the other hand- when Jake first met Sophia, she seemed amazing and just the right fit for him. She was fun, witty, loved Die Hard, and was all around amazing. Except... not. They came into conflict over their jobs, and ultimately saw the world in different ways. Sophia also wasn't as committed to their relationship as Jake was.

I'm not saying that Milton is gonna walk out on Gina- far from it. Dude is a Good and Decent guy who seems to genuinely make Gina happy. He's a BOYLE. They all say "i love you" to each other constantly. Of course he's a great guy who wouldn't walk out on the mother of his child, just look at him:

And I'm not going to pretend that snowboarding, melted-snow-donating Milton isn’t exactly what Gina needs right now. He's sweet and affectionate and he spontaneously dances with Gina. Obviously they're on the same page baby name wise (side note: THE ENIGMA/ENIGMO IS A SUPER DOPE NAME).

But... how long can Gina be content with someone who, put simply- probably wouldn't challenge her in many ways? And possibly, maybe not even in any way. We don't know that much about Milton yet, but from what I've gathered, about him and Boyles in general, he'll likely end up always doing Gina's bidding and going along with her every whim.

Which, again, is what Gina needs right now. She's had a tough year, where she got hIT BY A BUS and was legally dead for two minutes- the girl could use a break!! And in Rosa's words, "After she got hit by a bus, no one can say no to her."

Sadly, I'm not sure a submissive Yes-man is what Gina wants or needs in the long run. Gina does best when she feels the need to prove herself, and admittedly at times she can go a little bit overboard and she needs to be reined in.

Milton's a kind and precious dude, and of all the horrible men in this world that could possibly father Gina's child (Gina's pregnancy squick is another matter, but maybe you lose all fear after getting run over by a bus idk), I'm glad he's the baby daddy. (Sorry for saying baby daddy)

But once Gina gets over how cool snow boarding, winter apparel, impromptu dinners, and having similar thoughts on baby names are- she'll find herself yearning for more.

She'll find herself yearning for someone who can pleasantly surprise her in ways she won't expect, someone who brings something new to the table, someone who can easily rile her up but also be her best companion.

I'm glad Gina and Rosa are both at the very least content with their romantic partners right now- but this isn't their endgame. Not to me, at least.

of pancakes and slushies

EDIT: forgot to mention that this was requested by a lovely anon who asked if i could write jake and amy taking their kiddo to target like the fumeros in david and melissa’s insta stories the other day. enjoy!

In many ways, Zoey Peralta is just like her father; she’s got his crazy curls, his passionate love for gummy candy and his uncanny ability to make Amy laugh at all hours of the day. Some days Amy wonders if she ended up spending nine months growing and then producing a female version of her husband because despite the fact that Zoey’s eyes are the same shape and color as her own, everything else about her allllllll Peralta.

Other days Zoey will ask to help with organizing the bathroom or glare at Jake when he uses the wrong voice while reading bedtime stories. Or, Amy’s personal favorite, she’ll declare her favorite Paw Patrol pup is Chase because “He’s a pweece officer like Mommy!” and then spend the afternoon pretending to arrest every object in the house. On days like those, Amy can totally, one hundred percent see herself in her two and a half year old and it makes her heart sing.

There are some instances though, where it is crystalline clear Zoey Peralta is a combination of both her parents.

This is, perhaps, never more true than when their little family decides to go on a Target run on Jake and Amy’s shared day off.

Jake is already getting breakfast started when Amy enters the kitchen with a sleepy Zoey clinging to her like a koala. Zoey’s curls are fanned across Amy’s chest, making her face barely visible to the untrained eye. He can’t help but smile as his two favorite girls slowly make their way towards the table, Amy trying as hard as she can to sit without jostling Zoey too much.

“Good morning, ladies,” he says brightly. “How are we doing on this fine Monday?”

The only response he gets is a low grunt coming from the curly haired mass still attached to Amy’s chest. Amy and Jake immediately lock eyes and try not to laugh. Zoey is not a morning person.

“Someone wasn’t ready to get up this morning,” Amy nods towards Zoey, attempting to smooth her curls away from her face. She plants a quick kiss on Zoey’s forehead. “Were you, baby?”

Zoey shakes her head against Amy’s chest. “Uh-uh.”

“I don’t blame ya, Zo-zo,” Jake says as he flips his current batch of pancakes. “Daddy likes sleep, too.”

“Yep. No one in this house has trouble sleeping anymore, do we?” Amy asks, nuzzling Zoey’s head with her cheek. In a few hours Zoey will be constantly on the move, but right now she’s so still and so affectionate it makes Amy’s heart ache. She’ll take all the cuddles she can get.

“No we don’t,” Jake agrees. He plops the pancakes on to the nearest plate before grinning over his shoulder. “But you know what’s better than sleep? PANCAKES!”

Amy feels Zoey begin to stir. Sure enough a tiny hand comes up to swipe hair out of its owner’s face. “With chocolate chips?” Zoey asks, a note of curiosity in her tired voice.

Jake scoffs. “But of course! Only the finest for my offspring.”

“Whatya think of that, Zo?” Amy bounces Zoey on her leg with a gentle smile. “Pancakes sound yummy, huh? And then, after we eat you know what we’re gonna do?”

Zoey shakes her head, a bit more interested.

Amy grins up at Jake before leaning down and faux-whispering in her daughter’s ear. “We’re gonna go to TARGET.”

The effect is instantaneous. Zoey’s eyes snap open, her head jolting off of Amy’s shoulder as her eyes flick from Amy to Jake and back again. “Really?!”

“Yes really,” Amy says with a nod. “I have a whole list of things to get and I need your help. You think you can help me?”

“Mmhm. Can we go to the one with es-kators!?” Zoey asks hopefully.

“Well of course,” Jake says, bringing over a plate of cut up pancakes for Zoey and two plates of non-cut pancakes for Amy and himself. He takes a seat across from Amy and Zoey and dives in. “Only the coolest Targets have escalators.”

“True that,” Amy says with a smirk. “So let’s eat and get dressed and then we can go, deal?”

Zoey scrambles off Amy’s lap and into her own chair before giving her parents a toothy grin. “Deal.”

Jake and Amy have been on their fair share of errands together in the seven years since they’ve been together, and while it isn’t perfect, they have ultimately created a system. Amy makes a list of all the things they needed, color-coded and categorized by department, and Jake without fail convinces her to buy a minimum of ten extra things they definitely did not need.

Zoey somehow does both. As soon as they park their car and make their way through the familiar red doors Zoey is badgering her mom about the list.

“Did you use colors, Mommy?” she asks as she slips her hand into Amy’s.

“Of course,” Amy says proudly, pulling out the piece of paper and showing it to Zoey. “What colors do you see?”

“Pink and yellow and green and blue!” Zoey says as she points to each one.

“Good job, baby!” Amy squeezes her daughter’s hand as Jake grabs a cart.

As they make their way into the store they inevitably have to pass the Starbucks and Target’s version of a cafe. Zoey grins up at her dad. “Slushies?”

Jake grins back and winks at Zoey before looking up at Amy. “Yeah Mommy, can we get slushies?”

“Oh my god,” Amy huffs, rolling her eyes. “You guys just had pancakes.”

“Yeah, two hours ago!” Jake points out. “We need more energy to keep us going, don’t we Bug?”

“Mmhm,” Zoey nods. Amy knows she shouldn’t give in, that if there is anything her daughter doesn’t need more, of it’s processed sugar. It doesn’t matter though because now Zoey and Jake are giving her matching puppy dog eyes. God, she’s such a goner.

“Fine,” Amy groans.

“YES! High five me, Zo.” Jake holds his hand out, which Zoey promptly tries to slap, tries being the key words. She gets it on the third try.

“But small ones! And you,” Amy jabs her finger into Jake’s chest, “Have to deal with the inevitable sugar rush and subsequent meltdown.”

“Deal.” Jake lifts Zoey up and the two of them race over to the counter. Any frustration Amy felt melts away as she watches her two favorite people hem and haw over their slushie choices. They’re both way too cute for her to be mad for too long.

A few minutes later Jake and Zoey return to Amy and the cart, both with giant smiles as they take their first sips of sugary slushie goodness.

“Ready to shop, sugar monsters?” Amy asks with an exasperated smile.

“Ready!” says Zoey, her teeth already blue from the slushie. Jake just nods, his mouth full.

Out comes the list and Amy’s favorite travel pen. “Alright, let’s do this.”

And so they make their way into the store, Jake pushing the cart while Amy and Zoey find the various items on their list. They make it through the pink section, aka hygiene and healthcare, pretty quickly, aka what Zoey deems the most boring part of the list. Amy does let her pick out her favorite band-aids, though. She goes with Ninja Turtle; Jake’s equally excited as she is about that purchase.

They’re just about to begin on their grocery list when Zoey announces she wants to ride in the cart.

“You sure, Bug?” Jake asks. “If you get in the cart you can’t help Mommy pick things out.”

“I wanna ride,” Zoey repeats. Jake and Amy shrug at each other before Amy goes to lift Zoey up and into the front part of the cart. Just before she sets her down Zoey lets out a very loud “NO!”

Amy freezes, suspending Zoey in midair. “But you said you wanted to ride?”

Zoey fervently shakes her head. “Not there!”

“Then where?” Confusion spreads over Amy’s face as Zoey points to the ground. “Zoey, baby I don’t understand.”

“Down!” Zoey says, again gesturing towards the floor. Amy sighs before doing as her tiny tyrant says and setting her back on the ground. As soon as her feet hit the ground Zoey moves towards the cart, making both Amy and Jake think she wants back in. Of course. But then, rather than try to climb up to the seat like a normal child, Zoey starts to crawl onto the little platform underneath the main compartment. “I sit here!”

All Amy and Jake can do is laugh at their daughter’s sheer determination as she tries to get herself onto the cart. Of course their kid is too cool for the actual seat and needs a whole platform to herself.

“But Zo, I think you’re too tall to sit there,” Amy explains. Zoey furrows her eyebrows and assesses the whole cart situation for a moment before her eyes light up.

“I lay down!” she exclaims before moving to the front of the cart and essentially army crawling onto the cart. She positions herself so her head is looking out to the store, her chin propped up on her hands.

“Well, you can’t say she’s not a problem solver,” Jake says to Amy, who’s just staring at her daughter with a mix of amazement and confusion. Amy snorts before looking up at him.

“Is this safe?” she asks.

Jake shrugs. “As long as she keeps her hands in, I feel like she’s fine. Better let her sit there than deal with a tantrum.”

“True.” Amy crouches down to be face to face with her daughter. “Okay Zoey, you can ride here. But you need to keep your hands inside the cart. No touching the ground or the wheels, okay? And no trying to get off while the cart is moving. Can you do that?”

Zoey nods, smiling so bright her eyes seem to sparkle. “I keep my hands here.” She taps her cheeks with her hands.

Amy smiles as she plants a kiss on Zoey’s head. “That’s perfect.”

She stands back up and shakes her head at Jake, who’s back behind the cart.

“Our kid is so weird,” she mouths at him. He laughs.

“I know,” he mouths back. Clearing his throat, Jake checks to see Zoey’s hands are, in fact, inside the cart. “Alright Zo, you ready for take-off?”

“Ready!” Zoey calls from her perch.

“Alright then,” says Jake. He dramatically grips the handle. “Here we goooooo!”

As soon as they start moving the cutest, purest giggle bursts from the bottom of the cart. Jake and Amy both can’t help but join in with their daughter, her laughter music to their ears. Jake was right; this is much, much better than a tantrum.

Amy leans down to see Zoey’s sweet little smile. “Having fun, baby?”

“Yes, Mommy!” Zoey giggles. “I flying!”

Zoey, being an avid rule follower like her mom keeps her hands inside the cart the whole time and never moves an inch, clearly mesmerized by her new position at the bottom of the cart. From her perch she cries out orders to her parents, calling for Jake to go faster and asking Amy if they can get gummy bears or Paw Patrol pencils. By the time they reach the counter they’ve found everything on Amy’s list, plus only five extra items Jake and Zoey convinced Amy they needed.

As Amy unloads their things onto the counter Zoey finally removes herself from the cart. The windswept smile on her face just about killed Amy right on the spot. How is their daughter so stinking cute?!

“This was the best day EVER,” Zoey announces.

For the thousandth time that day, Amy and Jake can’t help but grin at each other.

Amy rests her head on Jake’s shoulder. “I could say something really cheesy, like every day as her mom is the best day ever...”

Jake kisses the crown of her head. “And you would be 100% correct.”

Que Pasa Culata de Azucar?

Summary: Jake learns Spanish and does not immediately tell Amy. "Congratulations. It only took you 10 years to learn the language your partner speaks."

Thank you @cats-sarcasm-and-fandoms for the translations!

Amy is the kind of girl who went to college despite knowing she would be pursuing a career in law enforcement. She loved to learn; so, not only did she graduate summa cum laude but she double majored in Art History and Classics. On top of English, Spanish and a smattering of textbook-perfect french, Amy could read and write in greek, latin and hebrew.

It was sort of embarrassing.

Yesterday, he couldn’t figure how to fix the remote for his television so he ended up watching the Young and the Restless for four hours on his day off.

Amy and Jake put forth equal amounts of effort in very different ways, towards very different things. Besides their work itself.

Amy absorbs information like a sponge before wringing it out into the appropriate, color coded and labelled buckets in her head. She remembers literally everything ever and is thus great at crosswords and jeopardy.

Jake absorbs what’s immediately useful and discards the rest.

Every aspect of Amy’s life, besides self-care and emotions, is all-gung-ho all the time.

Jake puts his effort into jokes, into making his life full of zest, n’stuff. He will go to heretofore unheard of lengths for the sheer enjoyment of making others laugh.

Jake would never say this about himself, because he operates based on the idea that he flies by the seat of his pants at all times, and stumbles into everything based on a combination of sheer dumb luck and awesomeness of self.

On a Wednesday, for the first time, (well, not the first time. He probably put some effort into studying for the detectives exam or something. Or passing high school math. There’s got to have been something right?) Jake decides that he should take a page out of his weirdo wife’s book.

Much later, far off down the line he’ll say it was frustration that drove him to this point. That he was tired of sitting alone in a sea of confusion when they visit her family. That his sheer inability to follow the stories of her guilty pleasure telenovella was so insurmountably annoying that he just had to act.

Really it was just a series of amazing, wonderful, Amy-Santiago-Specialty presents. First it’s Hannukah, Then christmas, then his birthday, then Valentines and NO ONE is as pro as his wife at blowing his damn mind, four subsequent gift-giving holidays in a row. He cried at his birthday surprise. Tell no one.

Six months later …

Amy bites her lip and frantically looks around the precinct, ensuring the absence of prying eyes. She very suavely and inconspicuously gets up from her desk and strolls over to Rosa’s area.

“What .” It is not a question, but an icy hiss.

When Amy, who isnt usually cowed that easily, doesn’t speak up, Rosa looks up at her through narrow, calculating eyes. She must see something in her expression because she lets out an immense sigh and turns in her swivel chair. “What do you need?”

Amy opens her mouth.

And closes it.

Opens.

Closes.

Opens.

Rosa’s fingers under her chin bring her teeth together with a snap.

“Forget it,” she says nervously, “I’m being stupid. So stupid.”

“Probably!” Gina, who is across the room and not a part of this conversation, chimes in.

“Forget I said anything.” Amy makes to leave, face contorted in a painful wince. Rosa stares into her soul. Oh look at that. She’s grown roots. “Fine,” she sighs, “I need you to come help me stakeout a house.”

Rosa looks skeptical. “It’s a saturday.”

“Yes. Yes it is.”

“Where is this place?”

“East 47th and Claremont.”

“And you’re being weird about this because…”

Amy leans closer and whispers. “I think… I think Jake’s cheating on me.”

“HA!” Gina shouts loudly from where she has suddenly appeared right beside her ear. “That boy couldn’t, wouldn’t and probably shouldn’t be trolling for booty. He’s getting old, it’s kind of sad.”

“You’re the same age.”

“I am an ageless being made of pure light, descended from the heavens to grace you mere mortals with my presence.” She glances at her manicure, “So what are we waiting for? Are we going out on this stakeout or not?”

“No,” says Rosa flatly.

“Whyyyyyy,” Gina whines.

“Because Jake is not cheating on Amy. This is stupid.”

“But what if he is,” Amy pleads with her, “He’s been being weird. And he goes out every saturday. He says he has a pickup game with academy buddies. He doesn’t have academy buddies. ”

“That’s true,” Gina injects.

“You’re not helping,” spits Rosa, “Don’t legitimize her craziness.”

“Well, he’s also been hitting the gym more, but that’s none of my business.”

“Gina!”

“Please Rosa?” Amy’s eyes shine and her lips puff up in a pout, but what gets Rosa is the furrow of her brow and the very real worry she sees in her face.

“For the record, this is dumb.”

Gina and Amy take this as concession.

Rosa drives, Gina rides shotgun and Amy sits in the back. Together they watch the utilitarian brownstone. After an hour of inactivity the door opens and Jake bounds down the steps. He stops at the bottom and turns to wave at the woman in the doorway.

She can’t be more than 25. Her hair is long and black, bangs curl against her caramel cheek. It dimples when she smiles.

“ Goddamnit!” Amy shouts and slumps forward, head between her knees.

“Man. That boy has a type.”

“This is just great.”

“I will kill him for you,” offers Rosa.

“It doesn’t have to mean that right?” Amy seems to have chickened out of her own paranoia. “He could be here for any reason.”

“Sure he could,” says Gina, awkwardly patting her head. Amy lets out a breath and calms at the gesture. “But let’s be honest, probably not.”

Rosa hits her in the stomach.

“ Ow,” she grits pointedly.

“Come on, let’s head back to the precinct.”

Rosa does her very best to calm Amy down. (“Calm down,” she says.) And she doesn’t tell her this, but she runs the address through the database.

That night, Jake snuggles into her back and snuffles her hair. His warm hand caresses her arm and she feels so good, so safe. It makes her wonder how she could ever doubt him, when they fit together like this. He rubs his stubbly chin against her neck and settles in for the night.

And Amy just can’t let it go.

“Are we okay?” she asks breathlessly.

Jake is silent for a moment before he snorts. “Well, I should hope we’re better than okay at this point. We’ve been practicing for like four years.”

Amy turns in his embrace so they’re chest to chest. She’s so close that his eyes merge into one blurry one. He looks like a cyclops. She shakes her head free of the distraction. “I’m serious. Are we okay? Are you happy?”

Jake is taken aback and sounds afraid when he answers. “Why do you ask?”

She’s about to bring up her fears and feelings, she really is about to tell him the truth. But she imagines his reaction when she tells him she followed him. She imagines what he would say.

She chickens out.

The truth is, Amy is too scared to know. The truth is that Amy is so incandescently happy with her life that she’s willing to lie to herself a little. Maybe a lot. That frightens her, but not as much as the prospect of losing him to some young hot latina because seriously Jake? You are so transparent.

“I’m just… checking in. You know, like an audit. A relationship audit.”

“Why am I attracted to you again?” Her face burns and her gaze falls to his chest. Her shoulders curl inwards of their own volition. “Hey, I’m kidding. It’s just a bit I do,” Jake shucks her under the chin. “Hi, nice to meet you. My name is Jake Santiago, we’ll be married two years in September.”

“Sorry,” she sighs and leans up to rest her forehead against his. “Just been stuck in my head all day.”

“I think it’s sexy that you want to do a relationship audit. Should I whip out the spreadsheet pad? Will there be a physical evaluation of my assets?”

Amy laughs, “Oh definitely. I plan on being very thorough.”

“Santiago-style. I love it.”

“I love you,” she says with a bittersweet note to her voice.

“I bet I love you more.”

“False. But still, I don’t that’s something that I want to gamble on.”

Amy presses her lips against his and holds him tight. She slings her leg over his waist and rolls them over so that she’s on top, gently massaging his chest. “I love you Jake.”

“I love you too, Ames,” and he looks at her with wonderment and pride, the same way he has every day they’ve been together. It’s an expression that spreads warmth from her fingers to her toes and the thought of Jake with another woman flies out of her head. You can’t fake love like that. “You make me happier than I ever thought I could be. For the record.”

“For the record: same.”

It’s an hour and a half before Amy is asleep beside him, breathing evenly with her hands curled under her chin. Very carefully, Jake gets out of bed and sneaks out the bedroom floor and tiptoes into the living room where he left his satchel. He takes out his phone and earbuds then tiptoes back. He very carefully lower himself into bed and curls back up with his wife, who hasn’t budged an inch.

“Te equivocas de medio a medio, you are completely wrong. ”

He silently mouths along.

“ Claro hombre, eso es de cajón. Of course, that is obvious.”

The lease was under the name Marcia Rodgriguez, a 63-year-old mexican woman. It took some doing, but Rosa eventually found an ad that Marcia placed. She tutors Spanish as a second language.

Meanwhile, Jake is having trouble keeping it together. He’s been planning it for months. On their anniversary he’ll take her to the place where she proposed, get down on one knee and propose to her again in Spanish. Small consolation for her beating him to the punch in the first place but whatever. He knows it’ll make her happy. It’s the gift to trump all gifts, even those of the Santiago variety.

He would deny this, but he full on gushes to Boyle about it.

Who in turn, flings proportionate reaction to the wind and lifts Jake in the air, spinning him around. This is when Rosa walks into the bullpen. She turns around and walks right back out. Boyle, embarrassed, sets him down with a sheepish smile. A long pause then-

“Could you do that again? I felt like an eagle. It was magical.”

Amy is quickly losing patience with her mother. She holds her phone away from her for a moment so she can take a deep breath.

"Mama, es mi hermano. Sé que es un idiota, pero ¿qué es lo que quieres que haga?” Mama, he’s my brother. I know he’s an idiot, but what do you want me to do about it?

"Él y Mia lo resolverán solos, yo- no Mamá, sí, ¡escúchame! El domingo no puedo. Si pudiera tomarme el día libre lo haría-" He and Mia will work it out on their own, I- no Mama, yes, listen! Sunday doesn’t work. If I could get the day off I would-

She says it all in a very normal voice. If he still couldn’t speak Spanish he would never know anything was wrong. Amy does that sometimes.  Growing up in a full house meant keeping problems to yourself. It’s something they work on, but this is a family thing, and despite being a part of it, he doubts she’ll bring it up with him. Or ask for a day off for herself.

When Amy’s in the bathroom he phones the Sarge. “Hey, could you put me on the schedule this Sunday instead of Amy? ...Yeah, I know, but I used to do doubles all the time... Once won’t hurt.”

Mateo comes to visit a week before their anniversary. Amy invites him back to their apartment and Jake makes himself scarce for a while. Amy and Mateo were always very close and he moved to Chicago three years ago. It was rough for her at first, he’s glad she has this time with him.

What he didn’t used to be glad about was how Mateo had this annoying habit of talking to Amy in Spanish whenever Jake was around.

Mateo had been the hardest of the Santiago siblings to win over, besides Amy herself. He was closest to Amy in age, only 10 months older. They were in the same grade through all of school. They were inseparable until being accepted into different colleges.

He doesn’t like Jake much. To this day, almost two years into his marriage, Jake still doesn’t know why. He knows it bothers Amy, but he can’t do anything about it.

Well, he couldn’t until now.

Spanish drifts from the living room into the kitchen.

“Siempre hace cosas tontas para llamar tu atención.” He’s always doing stupid things to get your attention. “¿No te cansas de sus estupideces?” You never get tired of his nonsense?

Mateo is sitting on their floral couch, across from Amy on the armchair. He’s spread as wide as he can, taking up the whole thing.

“No, me canso de él dejando su basura por todas partes. Muy doméstico. No es gran cosa.” No, I get tired of him leaving his crap everywhere. Very domestic. No big deal.

This is the moment he chooses to walk further into the room. Alerting them to his presence. The conversation doesn’t end, the thread continued as if he were invisible. He takes a seat beside his wife on the arm of her chair and smiles benignly, feigning misunderstanding.

Mateo has no compunctions about continuing to talk about him as if he’s not there. “Todavía no lo entiendo. Él es tan... Extrovertido y tú eres tan... Reservada.” Still don’t get it. He’s so… out there and you’re so… reserved.

Jake is sort of offended on Amy’s behalf. She glances at him with a furrowed brow, so that even if he didn't understand what was being said, he’d know it was about him. He shrugs.

“Me gusta que sea tan abierto, me hace mejor que él me ayude a relajarme. Él me hace ser mejor.” I kind of like that he’s so open, it makes me better that he helps me loosen up. He makes me better.  

Jake has to fight down a blush.

“Estás bien como estás.” You’re fine as you are.

For the first time in the conversation, he concurs with Mateo.

“Sí, nunca se lo diría, pero cada vez que hace que nos desviemos, es siempre lo mejor. Probablemente la única aventura que he tenido en mi vida." Yeah, but I would never tell him so, but whenever he gets us sidetracked, it’s always the best. Probably the only adventure of my life. “Pero si se lo dices te mato.” But if you tell him though, I’ll kill you.

Jake is suddenly feeling overwhelmed. It’s not that Amy doesn’t say nice things to him, it’s just different when it’s not said for his benefit. In this moment (in all moments) he’s so glad that she chose him, so thankful that she’s in his life. He tries not to blush and fails, but that’s okay. Amy takes his hand and squeezes it.

“So. Who’s ready for food?” he interrupts.

Later, Amy comes out of the shower to find him organizing the previously ordered mess in which he lives his life. She stands in the doorway of the bedroom, clutching her towel to her chest, just watching.

He looks up from the sock drawer, feeling sheepish. The clean laundry had been piled in the corner of the room for three days. What he finds it not a teasing wife but a woman staring into the depths of his soul with dark eyes trained on his hands. Hands which he prides himself on because of their dexterity. Her plump lips part in an o and she blinks slowly. He can see a pink tongue running over white teeth and is struck dumb by it.

“I-I- uh, I’m organizing them by dressiness and color.”

Amy’s towel drops to the floor and she’s on him in an instant. Tackling him down onto the bed. “That is so hot.”

“Are you gonna just leave your towel on the floor?”

“Oh my god.”

“I have acquired a superpower,” says Jake to Charles in the breakroom. “She talks about her problems, I fix them, awesome sex. It’s a win win all around!”

“I dunno Jakey, this seems like a bit of an invasion of her privacy.”

“She’s talking right in front of me. And did I mention how good this sex was because-???”

“So basically you’re trying to justify lying to her.” Jake jumps three feet in the air. “Also, congratulations, it took you 10 years to finally learn the language your wife speaks. Good going, Jake.”

“When did you get here?” he shouts at Rosa. “It’s not lying. I’m using my powers for good. She never would have told me her brother was having marital problems and she never would have asked Holt for the day off to be with her family. Plus, this morning she was on her phone with her mom and said ‘Me gustaría que no oliera a huevos después de perseguir delincuentes’ which means I wish he didn’t smell like eggs after we chased perps. So I put on deodorant!”

“...” Rosa appears unimpressed.

“Come on, I’m telling her soon. Anniversary surprise!”

“Tell her now.”

“No.”

“Tell her.”

“You can’t make me!”

She shoots him a look.

“Okay, maybe you can. But please don’t.”

The death glare she shoots him as she leaves the room makes him question whether she will honor his request.

It doesn’t take long. He’s sitting with Amy, picking at her Pho when Rosa joins them. “Tu esposo es tonto y cree que eres una maniática controladora.” Your husband is an idiot and thinks you're a control freak.

“I am not! And that’s not even true!”

“How did you understand that?”

“Yes Jake,” says Rosa pleasantly. “Is it because you are a super genius and therefore comprehend all languages?”

Amy stares at her husband with suspicious eyes, “No, that’s not it.”

Amy doesn’t speak to him the rest of the day. They sit across from each other in uncomfortable silence where she works and pretends not to feel his stare searing into her face.

He knows he’s in big trouble.

At five o’clock on the dot he gets up from his desk, yanks Amy from her seat and drags her into the evidence lockup shouting, “We’re off the clock dweebs!” over his shoulder.

In the space where they kissed properly as themselves for the first time, where they got together, where they said goodbye before she went undercover, where they killed a man with their hot sexy makeout skills, Jake takes his wife’s hands and drops to one knee. “I’m sorry,” he says. “It was supposed to be a surprise.”

“¿Quieres casarte conmigo...de nuevo?” Will you marry me...again? Then he laughs and looks around the room. “Debes decir que sí.” You have to say yes.

"Of course!" she flings her arms around him and presses her face into his chest. "I though you were cheating on me, you asshole!"

"Wait what?!"

“Nothing, never mind. Te amo, cariño,” I love you Sweetheart, Amy replies, a little tearfully.

“Yooooo I’d totally forgotten about that. This opens up a whole new arena of obnoxiously cute nicknames, sugarbutt! Or should I say culata de azúcar? Doesn’t roll off the tongue the same.”

you can hear it in the silence

Rosa tells him, When you know, you know. It’ll come to you and just because it hasn’t yet doesn’t mean it never will.

It all starts after Teddy’s gone. He’s sitting in the break room, eating a donut and Rosa asks, “Aren’t you kind of upset?” He shakes his head, confused by the question. He’s upset the precinct might be shutdown. He’s upset that he attended actual hell on Earth also known as jazz brunch.

But, not really.

So, he shrugs, takes another bite of his donut.

Rosa rolls her eyes, turning the chair around and sitting on it backwards. “Jake, he beat you to it.”

“What?”

“Yeah, you know, Teddy asked her to marry him before you did”

“Ah..” Jake doesn’t have an answer to that. He truthfully hadn’t thought of that before Rosa mentioned it but now that she has, Jake feels queasy. In the midst of all the uncertainty about the precinct, he hadn’t really thought of the fact that, wow, someone proposed to his girlfriend.

That someone being her ex-boyfriend and he did it in front of him. And Jake just stood there.

Wow, the self-loathing comes quick.

Rosa winces and starts to stand, patting his shoulder in sympathy. Jake grabs onto her arm in desperation, holding her in place. Rosa groans under her breath.

“I guess I hadn’t really thought of it.” he begins. Rosa tries to squirm out but Jake has a firm grip on her arm. “Getting engaged, that is. I mean…our relationship is steady, like super rock-steady.”

“Uh-huh.” Rosa tries to pry his fingers off, to no avail.

“Like, I could probably do like a hundred jumps on it and it wouldn’t cave in. That’s how steady it is.” He looks up to her, something akin to desperation in his eyes.

“Okay, I get it, Jake. I regret bringing it up.” Finally, in a brief moment of thoughtful Jake, she undoes his hand. She dances away before he can grab her again. Jake stares at the wall, lost in the forest of his thoughts. Rosa sighs again, knowing that she won’t be able to leave him here without a rock of guilt in her stomach.

She sits again, a little farther this time, and sighs before she says, “It’s not a big deal if you’re not ready to ask. Just because someone asked her doesn’t mean you have to.”

“Yeah, I know that.” He rubs his face and below hands pressed to lips he says, “I don’t think I’m ready though.” He drops his hands in guilt. “I mean, I know I love Amy but…I guess I’m…” he winces, ashamed. “not ready to be married.” He groans. “What if I’m never ready?”

He drops his eyes to the table and Rosa groans, hating the goddamn caring feel in her chest.

“Jake, I am going to tell you a very personal detail of my past and I will seriously kill you if you tell anybody this.” she says through gritted teeth. Jake widens his eyes, looks more serious than he’s ever looked in all of his life.

“Okay, I’m all ears.”

Rosa sighs, looks up at the light bulb and wonders why she’s even sharing this with him. She decides because the scared look on his face was kind of pathetic and because, fine, she cares about him. Ugh, she hates having feelings. “I was engaged once.”

His eyes widen automatically, mouth forming a million and one questions. Rosa shuts him up with a look. Jake nods and keeps mum, but the questions remain behind his eyes. “She was my high school girlfriend. We got engaged right after high school. It was young love.”

“Wait, right after high-” Rosa’s death glare slaps the rest of the question off his mouth. He nods for her to continue.

“I broke it off because I knew that I wasn’t ready.” she shrugs. “Just as I know I’m not ready now.”

Jake nods, his eyes solemn and thoughtful. Rosa stands again, pats his shoulder a little too hard. He winces but tries to play it off. “When you know, you know. It’ll come to you and just because it hasn’t yet doesn’t mean it never will.”

She leaves him to sit in the information. He rubs his shoulder now that she’s gone. Jake’s eyes travel through the window, sitting on Amy as she talks with Terry. Her back is pin straight and he can tell that she’s correcting Terry on something by the sigh he emits.

Jake smiles.

He’s not ready yet but he’s more than sure he’ll be ready soon.

There are fleeting moments in which he this he’s ready. The arrival and meeting of her father, her sergeant’s exam, the time she watched Die Hard 4 without falling asleep. However, deep in the pit of his stomach, he knows that this isn’t it. He repeats the words that Rosa told him.

When you know, you know.

(But when he knows, he’s taken away from her.)

April 28, a day so insignificant any other year. But, this year, it’s when the fire inside his stomach glows, when it lets him know that he’s ready.

It’s after a long day at work, he cooks while Amy calls her family for their weekly phone-call. Jake pretends he doesn’t smell the cigarette smoke wafting towards the kitchen. They eat in almost silence and he plays Candy Crush while Amy showers.

It’s a simple night, a regular night. The stars don’t dance, the moon doesn’t shine on them like a limelight.

He’s playing on his phone, Amy’s doing her nightly crossword. He’s thinking of the case he’s working on and the fact that there’s no way in hell he’s going to pass level 25 without a cheat code.

But then, she says, “There’s a typo in this crossword puzzle!”

And he knows.

It’s such a mundane moment but yet, so monumental. It’s just them.

Now that he knows, he kind of wants to tell everybody, wants to shout it from the mountain top. But he doesn’t want to tell Boyle. He’s afraid his best friend’s heart is going to burst and Jake isn’t sure how he feels about that. Instead, he stews in it. Let’s it settle in and tries to think of the perfect proposal.

Ideally, the sun would shine like a spotlight, the birds would cease their singing as he got down on one knee and asked her. She’d say yes with tears in her eyes. There’d also be a horse drawn carriage that would take them to an empty movie theatre where they would watch Die Hard on a loop and make out.

But, funnily, life doesn’t work out that way.

Rosa finds out right away and doesn’t fully acknowledge it. She knocks into his shoulder as she walks into work, nods, says, “Finally.”

And he can’t stop smiling for days because, it’s really going to happen, he’s going to do it.

But then, Lieutenant Hawkins happens. Then, he’s in court and his future lies in the judge’s hands.

And then, he’s sent away. Fifteen years for a bank robbery he didn’t do. He sees his life with Amy slowly crawl down the drain.

“Sorry, dude.” Rosa whispers under her breath as they handcuff them and lead them away.

Jake already knows for what.

Prison is not as bad as he thought it was going to be. Okay, his cellmate Caleb is a weird dude and okay, he misses Amy like freaking hell but prison’s nice. He’s even grown a prison beard. Kind of patchy, but, whatever, Amy likes it. Every time he sees her, he thinks of the fact that he’s ready to live the rest of his life with her but he can’t. Probably never will if the squad doesn’t get off their butts and help him get out.

But, he knows they’re working hard. The dark circles under Amy’s eyes tell him that she’s spend long nights worrying about him and he just wants to wipe them away.

At night, when it’s just him and his thoughts (and Caleb), he dreams of days spent with her. He craves normal Saturday afternoons. How she would try to cook dinner every single time and how she would fail every single time.

The little disappointed look on her face at yet another uncooked chicken, at yet another batch of burned pasta.

He craves that little look on her face when they bet on something stupid. Like that one time where they bet one another that they could eat a whole basket of wings in under ten minutes.

Bad idea.

He reminisces of all the times he saw that dangerous glint in her eyes. Before they were together, even after, and most importantly, Halloween.

It comes to him. Halloween, the most festive day of the year.

He tries to jump out of bed but forgets he’s on the bottom bunk and hits his head. He ignores the throbbing as he sits on the ratty desk and grabs a piece of paper.

He begins to plan the heist. He knows that he’s probably going to rot in this cell but there’s no harm in imagining it. It’s the only thing that’s going to keep him company as he rots away in this dingy prison cell.

Amy and the squad get him out, just like he knew they would. (Okay, he did lose faith for a bit. Prison changes a person, even if you only go for a little over two months.)

His plan is back on as soon as he leaves prison, the little sketches he wrote hidden in his shoe. As soon as they hug one another for the first time, his heart almost bursts. God, is he ready.

He hides the pieces of his plan in one of his Die Hard DVDs, there’s so many that Amy wouldn’t know where to look. And also, she hates Die Hard so she would never open them. He seriously can’t believe he’s going to propose to a Die Hard hater.

He calls Amy’s dad Sunday morning, knowing he’s at Church and wanting to avoid him. He leaves a lengthy voicemail, talking about how much he loves Amy, how he’s going to propose, and okay, maybe even mentions her butt once.

Okay, twice. Fine, three times.

He calls him mom next and she answers first ring. He tells her everything, glad to get it off his chest. He mentions calling Gina and asking her to find a ring.

“No son of mine is going to buy a ring.” she urges and tells him to come as soon as he can.

As soon as he walks in she hands him a velvet box. At his look, she says, “It’s not the ring your father gave me. Think I would give bad voodoo to my son? It’s nana’s ring. Now come in and tell me everything. I bet you haven’t eaten blue cake since you got out of prison.”

there are many days where he just wants to grab the ring and ask her. like when she goes to the grocery store and she grabs that cereal she knows that he likes or the time they were struggling to find parking and she pointed at one. or when he wakes up and she’s already showered and ready, reading the morning crossword during breakfast. he wants to grab her hand and say, there’s nothing more I want in life than to spend the rest of my life with you.

literally, any time he looks at her but no, he has to wait for the heist. he wants it to be special.

That night before the heist, he gets home pretty late after a dinner out with Boyle, where they fixed the last details in their Halloween plan. He still hadn’t told Boyle about the proposal or his nana’s old ring. He knew that Boyle would never be able to keep the excitement at bay.

When he gets home, Amy is in the kitchen, going over a case. Her hair is tied up in a crazy bun, little pieces looking like feathers dusting her face. She pushes them back as she reads. Jake wants nothing more than to stand there and stare at her for hours, drinking every one of her movements in. Just one more day, he reminds himself. She gazes up at him and her eyes brighten dangerously at his gaze.

“Excited for the heist tomorrow?” she asks, her voice carrying the competitive edge he loves. “I’m going to obliterate you.”

“Oh, I think you’ll be surprised by what I have up my sleeve.”

“It’d have to be something really big because you really can’t surprise me anymore.” She shrugs a pointy little shrug, her eyes full of mirth and Jake grins.

You literally have no idea.

She kisses him goodnight later that night and knocks out quickly, her body prepping for the big day that lies ahead.

Jake tiptoes to the kitchen and reaches towards the back of the cupboard. He passes his old nudie mags and his signed Taylor Swift CD, past those old prized possessions, and grabs the little velvet box. He looks over his shoulder and cracks it open, the little hinge making the quietest sound and his whole face softens as he gazes at the ring.

Underneath the moonlight, the diamond looks almost purple and he smiles softly.

Remembering what Rosa said, about Teddy beating him to the proposal, he laughs. Yeah, Teddy was the first one to ask her but he is going to be the first one to get a ‘yes’.

for the prompt thing!! 29

29. “You said my name in your sleep.”

It was Jake’s first overnight stakeout in a long time. He hadn’t worked on such a case for a while, not since he had gotten back from his undercover stint in the mafia. He was excited about staying up all night, not having to follow a dress code and getting to sit in the comfort of his car as he waited for the appearances of any illegal drug activity involving their suspect, Brent Mann.

Jake’s happiness definitely had nothing to do with the fact that he was working the case with Amy.

“Nuts, check. Binoculars, check. Camera for us to take crisp sharp images of Brent Mann our Br-est Man,” He grinned at his own stupid pun. “Get it? Like Best Man, but also it kinda sounds like Brea-”

“I get it Jake.” Amy interrupted as quickly as she could, her panic making Jake grin from ear to ear.

“Check. Ooh! Back up nuts in case original nuts run out, check! Okay, we’re good and ready to go!”

“You sure about that? What about your gummy worms?” Amy asked with a touch of sarcasm in her voice. Jake either did not sense it or was completely ignoring it.

“OH YEAH. Can’t believe I forgot about that, those were like the most important thing!” He turned to Amy with an almost sheepish smile as he unlocked the car door. “Be right back.”

Amy rolled her eyes, although in retrospect she kind of brought this on herself by asking Jake about gummy worms.

They’re at the stakeout location outside this club within the next twenty minutes. Amy’s feeling a little hungry, that plate of pierogis she had a few hours ago long gone. But mostly, she’s exhausted. She fails to prevent a tired yawn from escaping the back of her throat, stretching a little to keep herself perked up. Jake turned to look at her with an amused yet somehow appreciative smile.

“Someone’s sleepy.” He remarked, getting Amy’s attention. She shrugged in response.

“Sorry. I’ll be fine- we need to get enough evidence on Mann to build a case against him. I’ll keep my eyes peeled.” She promised.

“No can do, Santiago. You need a little cat nap, at least. I know you just spent an entire week working that B&E with Boyle.” Jake offered her a reassuring smile. “A twenty minute nap wouldn’t hurt. I’m perfectly capable of keeping watch on my own for a while. What’s the most that could happen? Mann steps out for a breath of fresh air? Ooh, how incriminating. We definitely need at least two cops to catch that on tape.”

Amy let out a chuckle or two, feeling lighter inside and at the same time, reassured that there was nothing wrong at all with getting some shut eye. She drifted off to sleep. Except she didn’t just sleep.

“Jake… please…” Amy mumbled as she shifted uncomfortably in her seat, causing Jake to look at her a little worryingly. “Jake!”

That shriek scared the living hell out of Jake, causing him to yelp a little too loudly in his shock. This caused Amy to wake up with a jolt.

“What?!” She sat up snappily, turning to look at Jake, her gaze seeming to have softened in relief upon seeing his face. “What’s going on? Did Mann show?”

Jake took in a breath. “No. He hasn’t. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you. I must’ve yelled too loud?”

Amy regarded Jake with a quizzical look. “Why were you yelling?”

“Because you were screaming! You started it first!” Jake said defensively.

“I was screaming?” She asked. “About what?”

Jake gulped. “You said my name in your sleep. And then you proceeded to scream it.”

Amy’s face tightened in what Jake perceived to be worry or even panic. He took this as an opportunity to tease the hell out of her.

“Wait a minute- Amy Santiago, were you having a sex dream about me?”

Amy nearly glared at Jake. “You kidding me? No, I was not having a sex dream about you.”

“Hey, it happens. You don’t need to get so defensive. I won’t tell Teddy.” His face tightened as he remembered Amy’s boyfriend that he himself unnecessarily mentioned. “It’s not cheating if it’s in a dream. I know my beautiful body is irresistible to all.”

Amy almost laughed at Jake. “Whatever Jake, if that’s what you want to believe then yes, I was totally having a sex dream about you, happy?”

“Perfectly happy. So what was I doing in that sex dream to make you scream like that? I was good, wasn’t I?” He asked cheekily as he turned his attention back to the outside of the club subtly.

“Shut up, Jake. I think I need another nap now because of you.”

As Amy drifts off, she’s frankly quite glad that Jake thought she was having sex dreams about him, because the truth is just much… worse. Amy dreams about Jake getting hurt while undercover in the mafia- because sometimes she sees him lift his shirt up a little too high and there are scars she just can’t unsee. She dreams about Jake getting murdered- and while he’s alive and kicking right next to her, she knows that there are people he tricked who didn’t end up getting arrested, and that they want Jake’s head for the betrayal he brought upon them. Amy has dreams about Jake getting taken away from her. He’s being dragged away, he’s in terrible pain, and worst of all there’s nothing Amy can do to save him.

So she’s not exactly surprised she screams Jake’s name in her sleep. Because these dreams Amy has of Jake? They’re horrible nightmares- the worst kind imaginable.

Jake doesn’t know that him getting hurt has over the last six months subconsciously morphed into one of Amy’s biggest fears. He doesn’t know he rules over Amy’s dreams, and that sometimes Amy wakes up crying from a nightmare she had about him.

Dying. He’s always dying. If Amy’s dreams were another universe it would be the worst universe in the world.

But Jake doesn’t need to know all that. He’s all carefree smiles and cocksure grins. He’s all light ribbing and playful teasing. He’s someone who told Amy he wished something romantic had happened between them. Twice, because he didn’t want to hide anything from her anymore. She remembers finding him very brave for admitting all that to her.

Amy wishes she could be that brave too. But yet there she is, with a boyfriend she no longer has feelings for, pretending not to love the man who’s in her every dream.

Yep, even the sex ones. Every single sex one.

Send me a number and the character/ship they want!!

Can u pls pls do a fic of jake moving into Amy's apt and the first day/night there?

Jake has three cardboard boxes stacked and neatly packed the way he knows Amy would like them to be. They're mostly filled with clothes- Jake doesn't want to overwhelm Amy by bringing in his six massage chairs (most of which were already sitting in a storage unit when Jake and Gina swapped apartments), or any of his Die Hard merchandise. Although some of his clothes were Die Hard themed but- that's besides the point. He didn't want to move too fast (both relationship wise and moving house wise, heh.) in case things got too crazy for Amy. After all it was her house that he was going to be barging into for the rest of their relationship and he didn't want to overstep any boundaries and he knew moving some of his stuff in would mean Amy having to get rid of some of hers.And he for sure didn't want to be known as the man responsible for making Amy Santiago throw away any of her beloved doilies. Taking a deep breath to psyche himself up for this very important stage of their relationship, Jake rang Amy's doorbell and within five seconds she had opened the door- just a crack. "Jake, put this blindfold on. Don't ask why." "Wow Amy, I had no idea you'd be springing your kinks on me. And here I was thinking we're just moving in together. I'm not even in the house yet." He teased as he obediently put on the blindfold.Amy sighed tenderly, a gentle and content smile etching on her face as she shook her head. The fact that she found Jake's little quip cute was a self-indication of how far gone she was in her love for this man. "Shut up. It's just a surprise." "And I'm very excited about it. Okay, blindfold on." Amy unlocked the door and it opened wide as Amy gently held Jake's arm to lead him into the apartment. They took a few steps and the direction in which they went led Jake to believe that they were in the middle of Amy's living room."You can take the blindfold off now, Jake." Jake took the blindfold off, half expecting Amy's apartment to have transformed into some kind of kinky sex dungeon. To his surprise and relief, that was not what the surprise was. It was so, so much better than that. Jake's favorite Die Hard poster was hanging in place of one of Amy's framed paintings. She'd also replaced a couple of her knick-knacks with his, and a few of her framed photos with pictures of them.Two of Amy's armchairs were missing- and in their place were two of Jake's old massage chairs. He noticed a few of Nana's old lamps in place of Amy's, and lying around on the floor was his basketball. Amy had turned her apartment into their apartment. "When did you do all this?" Jake asked, amazed beyond belief. He had the world's best girlfriend."When you were working that robbery case with Boyle. Sarge and Rosa helped me move a bunch of stuff from your storage unit."Jake exhaled nervously with a smile. He had a lot of weird stuff in there. "How'd you guess the passcode on the lock? There were six digits, Amy.""It was 696969. Jake we guessed it on the first try. You should really stop using such easy numbers for all your pass codes.""Right. Yeah. I can't believe you moved my stuff in here and even replaced some of your stuff with mine." He had on that gooey, sappy, look that made Amy feel just as gooey and sappy."Because I knew you'd feel too bad doing it yourself. And this isn't all- come on and see the kitchen!" Amy excitedly dragged Jake to the kitchen and he smiled and let himself get pulled along. He was overwhelmed by how much he loved her and how much she loved him, too.Jake gasped when he saw the fridge. "You put my fridge magnets on here! Even the Die Hard ones!"Amy grinned, proud of herself for making him so happy. "I even brought over some of your coffee mugs." Jake gasped again, making Amy wonder about the extent of his lung capacity. "Even the Die Hard ones?""Especially the Die Hard ones." Jake's arms surged forth and had Amy wrapped into a hug immediately. In his happiness, he had lifted Amy off the floor and was spontaneously spinning her around in circles. Amy was panting for breath after Jake put her down, shocked at Jake's actions. "When did you get strong enough to spin me like that?" Jake's face was lit with glee and he shrugged almost proudly. "I don't know! I was just so happy you did this- wait! Is that why Terry's so strong? Because he has such a fulfilling relationship with his wife?" Amy shrugged, chuckling. "Captain Holt also has a great relationship with his husband.""Yeah, and the dude has a surprisingly toned set of abs. This solidifies my theory." Amy placed a kiss on Jake's cheek, making him shut up instantly and offer her this soft, somehow vulnerable look. "Let's go look at the bedroom now."Jake's eyes lit up in excitement. "Oh my god- did you put my turntables in the bedroom?"Amy shook her head. "No, Jake. I love you but- I'm just not sure I'm ready for your turntables."Jake nodded in resignation. "It's okay, I love the fact that you bothered to move any of my stuff in here at all."And then they were kissing again, until Jake had a sudden thought which prompted him to pull away. "Wait! You didn't have to throw away any of your doilies, did you?"Amy was touched by his concern, but she couldn't help but laugh. "Jake, doilies don't actually take up that much space. So no, I didn't throw any of them away."Jake heaved a sigh of relief. It was too cute. "Okay, let's go see the bedroom." Amy's old closet had been replaced with an even bigger closet, one that was almost twice as large."Ta-dah! Do you like it? I got rid of my old closet so we would both have space for our clothes. You can fit in all your plaid shirts now." Jake was too touched for words. He turned to look at Amy. "You really did this... for me?" Amy rolled her eyes affectionately. "No, Jake, I did this for me so I could fit in more clothes- of course I did it for you Jake! You have a thousand plaid shirts." Jake chuckled. "You love me that much, huh?" Amy held Jake's hands in hers, giving him her most sincere look possible so he would take her seriously. "I love you that much, Jake. And then some."Jake planted a long tender kiss on Amy's lips before pulling himself away again, somewhat reluctantly. "And now it's time for my surprise."Amy's eyes widened in delight. "You have a surprise for me too?" "Yup. Stay put, I'll go get it." Jake ran off to the door and got all three of his cardboard boxes, carrying them to Amy's- no, their bedroom."Wow, you really have gotten stronger huh? How are you carrying all three of those boxes?" "I badly want to take credit for that and act like I'm a superhero, but really one of these boxes only contain a towel, a lighter, a bucket, and some flammable liquid.""A towel? What- oh my god. Are you burning Towel for me?" "Oh yeah." Amy held her hands up to her face. She couldn't believe this. "But Towel was there when you first moved into your apartment!" "But you hate Towel. And I bought new towels for me and you to use. They had these cute couple-y ones that I thought you'd like." "You and I. But I'm loving this, please don't stop." Jake chuckled. "Yeah, so. You're making a lot of big changes to your living space so I wanted to do something for you too. Amy Santiago, will you burn my towel?""Yes! Yes! A thousand times yes!" They were a barrel of laughs and before they knew it, Towel was on fire. But then they remembered the smoke detector and Amy grabbed her fire extinguisher to put out the flames about ten seconds after they started the fire. "I'd get sad that you had to put out the fire, but Towel's already fully burnt. Man, that is one lousy towel." Amy chuckled. "Told you." "I have one last surprise." Amy turned to look at Jake. "Really? Wow, what could top burning Towel?""Probably nothing. But remember how you were trash-talking me by asking me to get ready to sleep in a bed with a thousand pillows?"Panic flashed across Amy's face. ""Jake. Please tell me you didn't actually buy a thousand pillows?"Jake chuckled. "I considered that- but I didn't have enough money so, I bought ten pillows, all of which have the number '10' embroidered on them, since you love embroidery so much. And also because 10 multiplied by 10 is a thousand- oh wait. It's a hundred isn't it?"Amy nodded. "Yeah.""Man, I am terrible at math."Amy patted Jake lightly on the shoulder to console him. "It's alright, Jake. I can sew on the extra zeros myself. I love embroidery, but you knew that."Jake smiled, pulling Amy in for a hug and planting a kiss on her head. "You wanna spend the rest of the day watching all the Harry Potter movies?"Amy pulled away from the hug to look at Jake, ecstatic at his offer."Do I? Of course I do you idiot!"Jake laughed and in less than ten minutes they were cuddling on the couch watching Harry Potter And The Philosopher's Stone. The next week, Amy embroiders one of the pillows as a gift for Gina when they visit her at the hospital. It says "Get Well Soon".