I had a week long vacation not long ago, so I finally have enough energy to talk to non-medical friends once again. And I just realized once again, I'm not sure how to talk to them.

They tell me all the things they participated in, and I'm truly happy for them, all the while thinking I would never have half that much energy. They ask me how I am, I tell them I'm good, finally had a vacation. What did I do? Oh, literally nothing, tried to sleep off the worst of the exhaustion and tried to avoid interaction with other humans. How's work? You know, just the usual, it's good. It is good, and I love it, but how could I tell them all the horrors witnessed? That's right I don't, but what else do I have left to talk about? Most of my fun work stories are tainted with the shadows of tragedies... And unfortunately, I wouldn't trade it for anything.

So I just read their cheerful message and leave it on read, contemplating what to answer. And just hope they won't take offence to my agonizingly slow replies...

"their not adopted in chinese standards!!111" it says adopted father and adopted #1

#2 hoyo is not writing a chinese adoptive family, they are writing a german family. their for the standards of the family would be in german would it not? (and the other nations Mondstadt is jumbled into lmao)

clearly says adopted here. just say people are stupid and dont see it as incest or refuse to give up the ship since the info wasnt made 'clear' (aka hidden in character stories)

or they really wanna sexualize/fetishize foster families as well.. jfc

Your post about your upcoming Bad Buddy meta got me thinking about Bad Buddy (again), and I remembered one particular thing that had an impact. Apologies if this is long and rather incoherent, I wrote this past midnight.

In the final episode, the part where we see Ming and Dissaya turn a blind eye to Pat Pran's shenanigans really struck a chord with me.

[I'm an Indian, born and raised, and queer, but it's well worth mentioning that my experiences are not universal- in fact, they may be the exception rather than the rule; I'm not quite sure.]

What it reminded me of was, that asian parents tend to come around eventually- in particular mothers. We've seen time and time again in series' that deal with difficult/not accepting family members; Bad Buddy, GAP, Wedding Plan, maybe even Double Savage (haven't watched this one but I believe the dad feels bad in the end?), that even if the parental figure(s) doesn't agree with their children's choices, they learn to compromise. Because the difference in opinions isn't worth losing their children over. Obviously, for every parental figure that comes around there's one that the children cut ties with (Wedding Plan remains a good example), but I think it's something worth seeing.

It made me think of how I was never scared of coming out to my mother, because I knew that, despite the difference in views, and her prejudice, she'd accept me, no matter whether she thought it was a phase or not.

Do I know what the point of this ask is? Not really, I was rather nervous sending this ask, especially not on anon, but I'd love to know what you think of this, since I've come to really enjoy reading the thoughts you have on these shows.

Ohhhh, wow. @starryalpacasstuff, come 'ere for a big mom hug! HUGE HUGS!

I'm gonna unwind a little randomly; I hope this is coherent. A ton of what I write about on my blog vis à vis Asian dramas are the unique characteristics of Asian families and an Asian upbringing. Parental conditional love, competitiveness, our unique experiences with intergenerational trauma. I write a lot about how Asians, in our cultural expectations of life, accept pain and suffering as an assumed part of our existences. The reason why I watch Asian dramas exclusively is that, as I'm Asian-American, I just connect far more easily to the Asian cultural experience of growing from a child into an Asian adult, than I do the experience of white Western folks growing into their adulthood. I grew up intimately with Asian cultural practices and expectations; but I also grew up with racism in my external American world, and came to my adulthood in a society that still values white Americans above all other demographics.

But one thing I'm cognizant of, that I don't think I write about enough, is that many of these characteristics of the Asian cultural scopes of life are indeed similar to those that a fully American person (for example) might experience. It's not like intergenerational trauma doesn't exist in the West. It's not like homophobia in families against a child doesn't exist in the West.

However. As an Asian-American, one thing I note about many (not all, of course) Western families and family systems is that very often: Western adults will give up their agency to be loyal to what I might call a "higher power" -- a philosophy, a political preference, a religion. If a queer person wants to come out in a conservative American family, that queer person may very well be risking cutting permanent ties with their family.

That, of course, also happens in our Asian family systems. But I think you're onto something, @starryalpacasstuff. While divorce rates are sky-high in the West -- there is also a paradigm of family systems being and looking different in the West than they do in Asia. Asian family systems still don't accommodate for divorce and blended or chosen families as they do in the West.

The Asian family systems and paradigms that you and I grew up with as Indians absolutely still value a heterosexual two-parent household -- and I'd posit that our past generations, our grandparents and great-grandparents, put HUGE, HUGE pressure on our parents to keep the two-parent family systems together and whole. And to keep the children close. It's a huge value in our Asian cultures to have whole and complete families. The West has become far more accommodating, culturally, on this issue.

And, so. I totally agree with you, @starryalpacasstuff. I think we do see the beginning of a coming-around on the parts of Ming and Dissaya. And that coming-around is certainly something we can relate to. Our parents will likely accept us for our differences. I fucked a lot of shit up with my folks when I decided to live independently of their desires -- and I don't think things really healed (and I still carry tremendous traumatic baggage) until after I had my own kids, and expanded all of our families. Because in the end, the value in our Asian cultures is that keeping the family complete and close still matters more than any one's individual biases or desires.

Ming and Dissaya are remarkably traumatized people. Ming was traumatized by the expectations of his father. He screwed Dissaya over, and literally handed his trauma to Pat on a silver platter, for Pat to embody for most of his life. And Pat flipped that platter over in his father's face and ran away. Ming, at the end of the series, is passive-aggressive with Pat, despite Pat's efforts to try to work with him. And yet -- Ming still sips Pran's scotch.

To your point -- does time heal everything? I'm not so sure in the West, with the Western predilection for Christian/Puritanical/conservative values to supersede reasonable family resolutions. But I think, because of the value that Asian systems put on having complete families, that you are right -- that there may be more room in Asian family systems for eventual acceptance of a child's "differences," despite us living in collectivist societies. This is definitely not an absolute. There are environments in which it's still dangerous to come out. But the value that Asians put on family does indeed give us a tiny bit of comfort that our cultures can move the needle on acceptance in different ways over time.

Gege rly said "I never felt a woman's touch and now I'm going to make it everyone's problem"

the drama that would have been averted with a few proper conversations between michael and tommy

infinite wealth if sawashiro said "who gives a shit about ebina im going to hawaii with ichi" and then the rest of the game is a family vacation

The huge irony in The Little Mermaid (1989) essentially being about a teenage girl who desired to be understood by those around her, so she went to a drastically different society in order to achieve that, and it's one of the most misunderstood movies that Disney has ever released. Disney Princess movies already get a bad rap, but this movie, in particular, gets the worst of it. It's truly amazing.

I think it would be funny if Alastor met Octavia at some point

Al can't beat Lucifer or Stolas in a fight but goddamn it he can steal their daughters

deadnamed at my father's funeral

One of the other men laughed gently to himself. His dark hair was swept back, and he had a greying, well-manicured beard. The old man glared in his direction. Greybeard raised an eyebrow in response, still smirking, then winked at Nyssa, who couldn't help but smile back. The old man glared at her as well. The figure closest to the edge of the platform murmured an incantation and raised his arms, the others mirroring the movement. Nyssa followed suit, and for the first time realised that she, too, was wearing a robe. With a growing sense of unease, she also saw that her hands were smaller. Her nails less manicured. Her arms... shorter. “How interesting all this is.” Greybeard's voice sounded vaguely familiar, though Nyssa couldn't quite place it. The old man turned to admonish them once more as Greybeard spoke again. “Now, I wonder if — ah.” The old man froze, as did the other figures, and even the snowflakes — hanging in the air as if they'd been captured in a painting. Only Nyssa and Greybeard remained unfrozen. “It's quite simple once you understand the basic principles, isn't it?” “I'm not sure,” she replied. “Who are these people? And where are we?” “Well, from the look of it, I'd say we're on an observation deck at the edge of Arcadia, and these are some of the more, shall we say... free-thinking members of the Prydonian chapter. I always knew your grandfather was a bit of a rebel, but as for hanging around with this lot of hippies, I must say he's ever so slightly gone up in my estimation. Now then, if I can just get the hang of this time-shift —” Greybeard frowned in concentration. “I still don't understand what's going on here,” Nyssa said haughtily. “Who are you?” Greybeard looked directly into her eyes. “I am a friend of your grandfather,” he purred. His eyes were mesmerising. “And I'm sorry to say that he's gone missing. I'm rather keen to find out exactly where he's run off to.” “Why?” “Because we have... unfinished business.” Nyssa wasn't sure she trusted this man. “What sort of unfinished business?” Then, pointing to the old man frozen like the snow in front of them, she said, “And isn't that my grandfather?” “It was,” Greybeard nodded. “But all this was some time ago. Really, Susan, I expected more of you.” “My name's not Susan!” Nyssa said. “And I'm not even sure that's my grandfather.” “Then who are you?” Greybeard asked, apparently bemused. “And why are you — ? Oh. Oh, I see. Temporal balance cones interfering with the personality interfaces, are they? Fascinating. I wonder who you're seeing. No, you're definitely not Susan, are you? You're another player, aren't you? Yes, from later on in his time stream. Much later on, given the time it took for the interface to stabilise. Who are you, by the way? Another Prydonian? No, you don't look the type at all. I wonder if this delightful little device will give me a little insight into his future — or mine, even.”

— The Toy

SPY X FAMILY is the best isn't it?

It really is! I haven't enjoyed anime this much since, like, 2018.

Almost every single character is lovable or fun, it is incredibly cute and peaceful which raises up the occasional action scene even more, and also the more serious themes it sometimes touches it does so pretty well, I think.

And season 3 has one of my favourite mini-arcs in anime ever. I don't think many shows can do such sudden changes from cute and wholesome to fast passed action and suspense. Like, I shouldn't be laughing one minute and crying the next, that sudden change in tone shouldn't be working, but they somehow pulled it off with Yor's fights in the cruise ship.

Really cemented itself in my fav-anime-of-all-time list.

So I've been thinking. It's funny how enjoying meta is somewhat embedded with trust.

Like, if you're "friends" and have followed a person for a long time, you have more a sense of their values, and it's easier to read their difficult meta because you trust more that they're being charitable/nuanced.

If you don't know them, it's harder to trust that they're not funneling difficult topics into rationalization of liking/supporting gross shit.

Random, but. It’s fascinating how “Valjean and Javert written by someone who thinks cops are Good” is so radically different from “Valjean and Javert written by someone who thinks cops are Bad.”

Like, for me the number one Thing that will determine whether I enjoy someone’s take on Valjean and Javert are whether they realize that the police/prison as an institution destroyed both of their lives, and is the villain of both of their stories XD.

But yeah it’s really fascinating! Both in adaptations and in fanfiction, the tone/interpretation with which the plot beats are handled can change so much about the characterization. All the adaptations/fic start off with the same basic plot beats but so much can be changed and colored (for better or worse) by the way the author chooses to interpret them

btw my mom said it. she said it to me looking me in the eyes. i told her about how difficult it was for me to get through those family reunions, and she admitted it was very important to her, important enough that she was just going to do it anyway.

sorry i lied im complaining about the renfield movie again.its incredibly funny them giving him a wife and child was probably a half assed attempt at making him seem so normal so hes more sympathetic to viewers, but then they rewrote the implied assault turning '31 renfield psychotic in favor of dracula just straight up offering him free powers, making renfields choice to take those and leave his family to die and never think about them again turn him less sympathetic than the book and '31 renfields could ever be