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justdiptych · 7 months

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There's a scene in Fallout: New Vegas that I find really interesting in how it uses skill checks in dialogue. A merchant company, the Crimson Caravan, want to buy out one of their rivals, Cassidy Caravans, and they hire the player character to negotiate the deal. The player has likely already met the rival company's owner, Rose of Sharon Cassidy, by this point - in fact, it's entirely possible that she suggested they ask the Crimson Caravan for work in the first place.

Cass is propping up the bar at a truck stop on the border near the game's opening area. She's heard that her caravan has been destroyed in her absence - her employees killed and their wagons burned in an attack on the road - but she can't investigate because of a bureaucratic hold-up. The man in charge of the border post, Ranger Jackson, has halted all commercial traffic across the border because of dangers on the roads - wild animals, bandits, and enemy soldiers - that the authorities are struggling to get under control.

When the player brings the Crimson Caravan's offer to Cass, she refuses on principle. Her business may have effectively been destroyed, but she's too proud and too stubborn to sell her surname for any number of messes of pottage. Convincing her requires that the player employs one of either their Speech or Barter skills - there are two options for each, requiring either moderate or high investments of skill points. Skill and Barter are the game's two Charisma-based skills, and it's not uncommon for them to appear side-by-side like this, but here, they diverge in application.

The easier Speech option is simple - the player just reminds Cass that, if she sells the business, she won't be commercial traffic anymore, so she'll be able to get across the border. She's itching to get on the road again, so this convinces her. (She will ask the player to help Jackson clear the roads for the benefit of her fellow merchants, but this is a very simple quest that they likely already completed hours ago.)

The more challenging Speech check is to tell Cass that there's no way her business can survive, so it's her duty to do the merciful thing - shoot it in the head, bury it, and move on with her life. This, naturally, brings her close to socking the player in the jaw, but she sees the truth in it. She's been holding onto the forlorn hope that there might be something left to save, but she really has lost everything. This bypasses Jackson's quest - she just wants to walk out and not look back.

The Barter options approach things differently - from the Speech options, and from each other. The more challenging one involves making some sport of the offer, challenging Cass to a drinking contest. The player has to supply the booze, and they run the risk of getting embarrassingly drunk if their Endurance stat is too low, but, either way, this will impress Cass enough that she'll sign the contract.

The easier Barter option, though, is, I think, the most interesting. It requires the player to sweeten the deal with their own money - a not insubstantial amount of it, in fact. Cass is still hesitant, though, which allows the player to make a very interesting point. With the money from the Crimson Caravan plus the player's contribution, she'd have enough to restart her business - buy new animals and equipment, hire a new crew, start trading again.

Further, the player can point out that the Crimson Caravan are unlikely to continue using the 'Cassidy Caravans' name after buying it. They're only buying her out to try to monopolise local trade, after all. If they don't use the name, they'll forfeit their rights to it - meaning that Cass can, as she puts it, take their money, give them nothing, and go back to running her business as if the attack never happened.

Cass, naturally, accepts this offer, though she's staggered that the player is so willing to sell out their employers to help her like this. (The player needn't feel any moral misgivings about doing so. A little investigation reveals that the attack on Cass's business was actually engineered by the Crimson Caravan themselves, in collusion with a crime family, in a conspiracy to wipe out their competition.)

I think this entire interaction represents how well New Vegas uses skill checks. Barter, in RPGs, is often a very barebones skill. Its use is letting the player earn more and spend less - as part of an equation determining shop prices, or in dialogue options that boil down to asking for money. It's not uncommon for Speech to be the skill of the peaceful, benevolent diplomat, while Barter is for common mercenaries.

Here, though, the Barter options actually cost more than their Speech equivalents. The player ends up out of pocket for a sizable chunk of change or at least a lot of booze. Instead, the Barter skill represents the character's understanding of common business practices and relevant laws. It allows them to convince Cass to accept a deal by finding a loophole that benefits her more than if she refused.

The equivalent Speech options, meanwhile, are effectively free, but do involve making Cass feel that little bit worse. They emphasise what she's lost, how trapped she is by her circumstances, and convince her to give up and let the Crimson Caravan win. In the long run, this doesn't make a real difference - once she leaves the outpost, she and the player can discover the conspiracy and get their revenge either way - but I think the choice does let the player say something about their character.

Part of the brilliance of this game is how little details, like Cass being stuck at the outpost, tie into other details all across the story. Caravan traffic is halted, in part, because deathclaws have nested near the roads to the north. They've nested there because the local quarry has ceased operations - the noise caused by the digging and blasting had previously scared them off.

The quarry closed down because escaped convicts raided it and stole the workers' stash of mining explosives. The convicts escaped because the government was using them for forced labour on the railroads, and foolishly entrusted them with enough dynamite to stage an uprising, seize control of the prison, and turn it into a fortress and a base of operations for banditry.

Similarly, the threads of Cass's story spread outwards, ultimately affecting the entire future of New California. When she learns that the Crimson Caravan and their allies killed her friends, Cass is furious. She wants to march over there and beat the snot out of the people responsible. The player can convince her to instead settle things legally - get proof of their crimes, pass them on to Ranger Jackson, and hope the justice system gets revenge for her.

If Cass does things her way, the criminals pay with their lives, but their bosses end up better off for it. With their regional execs murdered, the trading companies can claim that the government isn't doing enough to protect them - so, they don't have to support the government's interests, either. They withdraw trade, demand special treatment, and end up making their shortfall everyone's problem.

If the legal option is pursued, though, the evidence becomes blackmail material. The government has the trading companies over a barrel, and that lets them pass stricter trade laws. Given the choice of accepting regulation or facing criminal investigation, the crooked execs choose to stay out of jail. Those responsible for the murders technically avoid justice, but their hopes of a monopoly are dashed - and their superiors are unlikely to be pleased with them having hurt long-term profits so badly.

Cass's story is political and economical all the way through. It's about the influence of wealth on government, and the fundamental injustices of the carceral system. It's about revenge, and reform, and how to hit people where it hurts - their bottom line. And it's about how, sometimes, skills in an RPG aren't about making numbers go up - they're about how a character understands the world around them, and how they can apply that understanding to help someone out of a jam, or help reshape the trade lines of a whole nation.

#vidyo games #fallout #fallout: new vegas

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lexyeevee · 1 year

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it's wild to see myhouse having escaped the orbit of Doom People, because so much of it specifically riffs on doom in a way that is laser-targeted at Doom People, to the point that i just wouldn't have expected it to be nearly as interesting if you don't pick up on that stuff

right from the outset, "my house" is even a recognizable genre, because doom was among the first approachable platforms for creating a 3D space, and if you give random people the ability to create a 3D space then many of them will just try to recreate their own house. (i want to say jp lebreton even made an effort to play through every house map on the idgames archive at one point, though hell if i can find it now.) there was in fact already a "myhouse.wad", from 1995!

frankly it's incredible that someone (or someones) put so much effort into this map and then had the gall to simply post it on doomworld as "myhouse.wad", because that is a thread title that guarantees the fewest possible people will bother to look. there are posts in the thread where people outright admit that they only checked because they were surprised how many replies a "my house" wad got.

so anyway, okay, the "classic" doom wad experience is that you download a wad, it contains exactly 1 map, and it has zero custom textures or music or other frills. most wads from the 90s are like this; if you're lucky you might get a bad midi rendition of a metallica song. nowadays there are texture artists and musicians and everything collaborating on full map packs, but "just a map" is still kind of the default mapping experience and is recognizable to anyone who's been around doom for sufficiently long.

and myhouse riffs on absolutely every aspect of this:

• the music is the MAP01 music, Running From Evil, which is just the music you get if you supply your own map in the MAP01 slot and do nothing else. so a ton of 90s maps had this same track as their background music, so everyone has heard it a zillion times. it is ingrained into so many people's skulls. subtly fucking with it is a great way to fuck with the player

• the house uses only stock doom 2 textures, or occasionally light modifications of them. again this is just what you get if you make a map and don't supply any other resources, so the stock textures are very familiar. only later, with sufficient poking around, does the map introduce new textures, which really help sell the impression of being swept away to Somewhere Else

• if you take the exit, you go to MAP02, Underhalls. this is the expected experience because doom wads replace what's already there — you're not really supplying a "new map pack" or anything, you're overwriting a map from the original doom 2 progression. (there are ways to fiddle with this now, but in vanilla doom 2, the level progression was hardcoded.) so the "ending" of a no-frills single-map wad is always, always to transition to Underhalls. the opening shot of Underhalls is practically like seeing the credits. so roping Underhalls into the experience is completely unexpected, because Underhalls is the sign that you've escaped back to regular doom

• the super shotgun is "hidden" in Underhalls, in probably the best-known super shotgun location in the whole game, because it's the first time you can get it

• incidentally Underhalls itself feels uncanny, because the player camera height is higher than usual to make the house's proportions feel sensible. (part of the trouble with exact recreations of real spaces in doom is that the camera is weirdly low.) i was actually convinced that myhouse included a modified Underhalls, but no, it's stock doom 2 Underhalls, it just feels off when you're slightly taller

but wait, there's more

• silent teleporters are a feature from boom, a very early doom derivative that added a number of helpful mapping features and is basically considered only half a step beyond vanilla. so shifting between two versions of a space without interruption isn't completely unexpected. it's only later that the portal use becomes more obvious

• although if you're especially canny, you should notice that the second version of the house shows both the upstairs and downstairs windows in full, which is impossible — doom cannot do room-over-room. (in fact this is accomplished with a semi-obscure zdoom feature called sector portals — essentially, the whole second floor and the space outside it are a separate area, and the "ceiling" of the yard becomes a view up through the "floor" of that second space.)

• swinging doors are a hexen feature (polyobjects) that gzdoom inherited. (heretic and hexen were modifications of the doom engine, and zdoom started out as a merge of all three codebases into something that could play all three games.) they might also be in other fancy engines (eternity?), but they are very distinctly not a doom thing. if you're deeply familiar with doom's limitations then they'll jump out at you immediately, but if you're looking at doom like it's any old 3D game then maybe not so much

• recreations of other humble real-world locales are also a somewhat common theme, and remind me in particular of Doom City, from way back in 1995

• a very common desire for players is to "uv-max" a map, i.e. reach the exit on ultra-violence with 100% kills and secrets. if you can't do this, the map is (reasonably) considered broken. it is comically impossible to do this in myhouse, and anyone with the skill to create the map would be acutely aware of this

• the extra weapon frames look to be borrowed from the well-known smooth doom, which adds extra frames for everything and is just pretty dang slick overall. so it's not merely "ho ho, got you, smoother weapons" but specific integration of another familiar project

• this might be reaching a bit, but mirrors are specifically a nightmare in zdoom's software renderer because they work by rendering all visible geometry as if it were physically present on the other side of the mirror — and if there be any actual geometry back there, it will also get rendered and you will have a big fucking mess. so a mirror in the middle of a room is a laughable idea. this is somewhat less of a concern now that the hardware renderer is basically the default, but it's still a spectre looming over the very concept of mirrors, so the way mirrors play out in myhouse is very funny to me

there's probably more, like, the way it intercepts noclip is a stroke of genius and not something i've ever seen done before. but i hope you get the idea

#doom #myhouse.wad

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leychin · 4 months

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All of it.

part 2

Tomura is due for his procedure in one week.

You don't bother trying to talk him out of it. Whats the point. His brain is too clouded by his hatred and rage towards heroes, towards his master, towards everyone around him.

It overpowers anything he feels for you.

You want to believe he hates you so it can be easier, but its never easy with Tomura. He knocks on your door at night so gently as if he isnt the most feared man in all of Japan, sits on your bed as if it's a rocking ship, and asks you to hold him like he's made of glass.

But Tomura wouldn't say it, he can't, he doesn't know how. He's lived with this hate for so long that loving you isn't something that comes to him naturally, in the mornings you don't exist. Just another League member with a job to fulfill, so why is he here with you like this?

It's because he's scared. His entire body is going to be ripped apart and then put back together for months, who wouldn't be scared? You're scared for him, he comes into your room at night and you press sweet kisses to tear sodden cheeks as he truly realizes what hes going to do. He knows hes going to leave. Its going to hurt. But it's something he has to do.

Not for his master, but for you.

He could never say it though, because how could he expect you to understand? Would you believe him? He knows you would try and convince him to stay how he is, he doesn't need to he stronger.

But Shigaraki needs to, he has this overwhelming urge to protect you, the one good thing in his life. He needs this power to keep you from disgusting people like master and the heroes. He wants to keep you in this room right here, with the minecraft music playing softly in the background as you ask him for more iron for some lanterns.

Its things like this that Shigaraki is fighting for, His hatred overshadows everything but you've lit a candle in his heart. When you fall asleep with your controller in your hands he's taking it from you and tucking you in, ghosting his lips over your head in his own form of a kiss.

God, he really does love you.

But it's never said, it can't be said. It's too late. Shigaraki will be gone for months and he'll be different, All for One will have everything he's worked for and he'll take your Tomura from you, and you'll be nothing to him as he moves to things much larger than the two of you in this shared space that's littered in old wrappers and empty cup ramen.

Eventually though, you wake up one morning and Tomura is gone, the menu music still playing softly in the background, the pause screen only showing one player showing he's logged off long ago.

Though, you unpause for a moment just to take a final walk around the world you two created. Beautiful cherry blossom trees lining a pathway to the updates village you made, ugly creeper holes Shigaraki didn't bother to fill up. You keep them uncovered, as a way to permanently mark the time spent with him.

You decide to log off and never play this game again, to never let yourself feel this hurt again, to never love again. But theres a spot in your enchantment room you've never seen before, Its hidden by clever bookshelf and stairs placements but theres a button wedged between the blocks, and when you press it you hear pistons whirr and open to what looks like an armory.

Theres an empty armor stand and one thats in full enchanted netherite armor, its his armor. The chest next to it is full of valuable items but one stands out to you; a signed book.

The glow makes you quickly add it to your inventory and open it yourself.

"It's all for you. Everything." -T.S.

That fucking idiot.

#tomura shigaraki #x reader #tomura shigaraki x reader #shigaraki x reader #fanfic #tenko shimura x reader #mha x reader #bnha x reader

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laaailuh · 9 months

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-TROPHY WIFE PT.2🏀

╰┈➤PART 1

-pairing: basketball player!e42 miles x fem!black!reader

-genre: fluff

-summary: What it’s like to date Visions Academy’s most prominent basketball player.

a/n: I am obsessed with making these.

MILES MORALES who always needs you by his side to help him choose out of his D1 offers.

“What about this one? Their program seems pretty nice.” “Yeah but baby, it's in Texas.” “So?” “Im not tryin’ to be 1000 miles away from you so another nigga can think he has a chance, fuck no.”

MILES MORALES who continuously reminds the cheerleaders that flirt with him that he's taken whatsoever and not interested.

“That crossover trick you did was so good.” “You should totally teach us some time.” “Nah. My girl can teach you how to get your ass beat though? She crazy.”

MILES MORALES who will give you private basketball lessons. Even though you weren't the best at playing, you still wanted to learn it because it was something that he loved deeply.

MILES MORALES who needs reassurance/ comfort when he gets injured during his basketball season.

“I cant rest Ma, scouts dont look for the player who sits out the most.” “You’re injured though, you need to lay off your ankle.” “Nah I have to-” “Basketball will still be there for you when you heal, so please just rest baby.”

MILES MORALES who tries not to let a fight escalate on the court if another player trash talks or purposely trips him. He wanted to show you that he was bigger than that.

MILES MORALES who will try and convince you to get him the new 2k game that comes out every year.

“Please mami, they added more moves and everything.” “Miles, you play the actual game in real life, you don't need it.” “But I wanna create a sexy ass basketball player.”

MILES MORALES who will leave his jerseys at your house intentionally because he knows you like to wear it to bed or to his games.

MILES MORALES who lifts his shirt up to dry his face when he's sweating. This makes you go absolutely feral and he knows it too.

MILES MORALES who will take you out to eat after school before one of his games, he wants you to have enough energy to cheer for him.

MILES MORALES who loves when you get your nails done with his jersey number on it.

“You like my new set?” “Mhmmm….I love them baby.” “Now we have to do that tik tok trend where I show my nails on your pants.” “You stay wanting to do that huh?”

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cactuscoolerr · 6 months

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hello how are you?? hope you're doing amazing<3 by the way,can u request for a part 2 for the lacy fanfic? (idk fanfic?hc?idk) if it's possible?For the characters,can u make one for Sae and idk Kaiser? anyways you can ignore this if you want! no pressure! thankyouu<3 (sorry my english is kinda bad.Not my first language)

⋆｡˚. lacy - michael kaiser, itoshi sae

• sfw (mentions of sex in kaiser's but nothing too explicit)

• notes: this is my first time writing for kaiser.. hope this is okay ( • ᴖ • ｡)

. ˚ ｡⋆ michael kaiser

it wasn't easy being the girlfriend of the michael kaiser. before he met you, it was known that he'd go off with any girl. he was a player and he had no means of changing that, until he met you.

of course, he didn't change immediately upon meeting you. you and him had your hook up and he went the rest of his week like he normally would. that was until he found out that you, who just so happened to move into town, were a very close friend of one of his teammates.

kaiser had acted nonchalant about the whole situation, pretending that he was just meeting you for the first time, like he wasn't balls deep inside of you just earlier that week. but on the inside, his mind was going rampant with thoughts of you and the night you and him had spent together.

after a while, kaiser finally got ahold of himself and did the unthinkable. he asked you out.

the whole thing went well and in the blink of an eye, you had been the most important part of his life for three years now.

you and him had your ups and downs but for the most part, neither you or him had ever been happier than with each other. though, his history of hooking up with various girls seemed to get to you more often than not. you knew that it was over now and he was loyal to you, but it was a hard thing to forget.

"are you alright, my love..?" michael was pressed up against your side, once again forgetting what personal space was.

a soft hum came from you as well as a small nod. immediately, your boyfriend knew that there was something else that you were hiding. it was a common occurrence and yet he still didn't know exactly what was wrong at moments like this.

"you sure?" he pressed closer into you, making you squirm.

"stop it, micha.." a soft giggle fell passed your lips and kaiser smiled gently at you. "you don't like me anymore then?" his eyes met yours and you immediately looked away with a dramatized sigh. "uh huh.. I absolutely hate you. glad you figured it out"

instead of acting as he usually did and continuing the drama routine, kaiser gently turned your head to face him once more and pressed a kiss to your forehead. "i wish you'd be honest and tell me what was wrong.."

your eyes met the faint scarred mark on his neck from one of his previous hookups rather than his eyes. the sight made you swallow roughly, now finding it hard to make eye contact with him now that you were thinking about your boyfriends past once again. sometimes, you'd even convince yourself that he wasn't serious about the relationship. like you were just a toy to him like those other girls were on the nights he decided he wanted them.

kaiser noticed the way your eyes flickered towards his neck, and it finally clicked.

"my love.." he once again brought your face towards his own, kissing your soft lips this time while his hand gently ran up and down your arm in hopes of soothing you. "they mean nothing to me, okay..?"

waiting for you to nod, kaiser brought you in for another kiss. "you mean everything to me, darling. three years of my life have been filled with you and I could've never been happier with that fact.."

"i love you."

the two of you spoke at the same time, making your eyes meet in surprise, the both of you finding absolute love and admiration in the gaze you held towards each other.

"i love you a lot.." you whispered and wrapped your arms around kaiser's neck to pull him into a deep kiss, trailing your kisses down until they reached that scar on his neck to replace it with a mark of your own.

. ˚ ｡⋆ itoshi sae

"are you gonna come eat?"

you jumped at the sound of your boyfriend talking to you, quickly slamming your phone down on the desk before turning around to smile awkwardly at him. "uh huh.. just give me a second"

sae eyed you suspiciously, sighing and crossing his arms as he leaned against the doorway.

"you're hiding something" he said simply, the usual blank face returning. "what is it?"

with a shake of your head and a slight shrug, sae grew visibly annoyed, stalking over to you and holding out his hand as if he was expecting something from you. "what.." your eyebrows pinched together in confusion. "give me your phone" sae's gaze was stern as well as his intimidating tone.

a sigh fell passed your lips as you hesitated, meeting his eyes once more which made you give in and hand sae your phone. you watched his reactions as he looked at what you were looking at, though you were disappointed with the lack of reaction he gave you. it was hard to tell if he was mad because you were stressing about something he had already assured you about.

"didn't i already tell you not to trouble yourself over dumb shit like this?" his eyebrow was raised as he gazed down at you, not yet handing your phone back to you as he began scrolling.

a soft sniffle sounded from you as you gently wiped the bridge of your nose, gulping the suffocating feeling in your throat. "yeah.. sorry.."

sae sighed softly, placing your phone back down on the desk. he looked at your for a few seconds, noticing how you were beginning to tear up. it wasn't a secret to sae that you were sensitive and he was careful with that fact. he was almost annoyed with himself for being the cause of upsetting you.

"im not mad.." another sigh came from your boyfriend. still, you refused to look at him again, feeling embarrassed that he had to tell you to stop overthinking again.

you knew that his last relationship was apparently a pr thing. sae had been getting articles written about him for his poor attitude and his manager had thought a pretty girlfriend and public outings would fix that. of course, it worked. though, the girl got a lot of hate from fans of sae, saying she was a distraction or she didn't deserve to be with him.

and when sae began dating you nearly a year later, this time because he actually wanted to be dating someone, he kept you hidden from prying eyes.

it was easy for sae to have a private relationship and you enjoyed yours and sae's quiet and intimate relationship together. no one knew that sae was gentle with you, unlike how he was with everyone else. but that was also the issue. it was hard to be a secret when his last relationship was so public and there were so many pictures of them being all over each other, though sae claimed he hated it, said it made him uncomfortable.

"we shouldn't have to have a public relationship for you to believe that i love you," sae spoke, pinching the brim of his nose. "i know you love me.." you looked up at him, sniffling softly. "its just hard when other people are claiming that you don't because you don't want to be public with me.."

with another deep sigh, you were pulled into sae's arms, your cheek pressed into the warmth of sae's chest. "i just want to protect you. is that so hard to believe?"

you gently shook your head no, wiping the few tears that slipped passed your waterline. "its because i love you, you know" a careful hand moved to card through your hair, soothing you even more with your boyfriends rhythmic heartbeat that slightly sped up when you wrapped your arms around his torso.

"love you, too.." you whispered, moving your head to look up at sae, who pressed a sweet kiss to your forehead.

"yeah, i know you do, crybaby.." sae grumbled with a slight roll of his eyes, annoyed that you so easily got him to show you his sweet and gentle side. but it made you feel at ease knowing that side was reserved for you and you only.

#bllk #blue lock #blue lock x reader #bllk headcanons #blue lock fluff #bllk fluff #sae itoshi x reader #itoshi sae x reader #itoshi sae fluff #michael kaiser x reader #michael kaiser fluff #sae itoshi fluff

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kirain · 12 days

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I don't get people who say Gale just whines about Mystra all the time. Like do they not realize WHY? Do they not realize there's a perfectly understandable reason for it!?!

Yeah, I don't get it either. Every character "whines" about someone. Astarion whines about Cazador, especially during the second and third act. Lae'zel whines about pleasing Vlaakith, especially during the Crèche mission. Hell, she'll even betray you if you fail her persuasion checks. Shadowheart whines about Shar and snaps at you if you criticize her goddesses of darkness. Then, if you prove she's being used, she falls into a deep depression and still whines about Shar. Wyll whines about Mizora and she's a constant presence in his life, to the point that she'll park her abusive ass directly in your camp just to torment him. If you romance him, she sees everything. She watches you 👀. He has no privacy. I think Karlach might be the only companion who doesn't constantly whine about someone, but she does complain about her engine a lot.

But these aren't criticisms. They're absolutely, 100% justified. Astarion has every right to whine. Lae'zel has every right to whine. They all have every right to whine. I just want to emphasise the hypocrisy when it comes to how players judge Gale. Every character has a dark past looming over them, our chatty wizard included. If you get mad at him, it's only fair to keep the same energy for all the other companions, because they're in the exact same situation. They're trapped. They're victims. They're suffering. Of course it's going to be a major talking point, especially when there's a person/goddesses/devil responsible for that pain.

Honestly, I think the only people who get annoyed when Gale talks about Mystra are would-be romancers who get turned off when he doesn't immediately throw himself at their Tav's feet. Have you seen the somewhat viral video where a streamer drools over him, but goes full jealous mode when she sees him conjuring the image of Mystra in his palm? It's funny, but she acted like they were already a couple ... but at that point in the game Gale didn't even know she was interested! I'm certainly no expert, but isn't that how relationships work? It's pretty hard to find someone who doesn't have an ex, and he only talks about Mystra in a positive light before you express interest. He's insecure and he feels lost without her, but if you romance him it makes him realise how messed up their "relationship" was in the first place. It's a healing process, not a competition. He never compares you to Mystra in any way other than to say that you're better, and that's only if you ask.

Gale is also arguably the most romantic character out of the bunch, so I don't know why people get so upset. Mystra, much like Shar, Cazador, Mizora, etc., is a constant negative in Gale's life and the reason he's dying. She could remove the orb with ease but she won't, so of course he's going to "whine" about her. He feels guilty at first, then he feels used and angry, and by the end you can either convince him to become her Chosen again (which is entirely on you, though you remain his priority) or you can convince him to reject Mystra and leave the crown in the sea. The orb remains lodged in his chest, because Mystra's too petty to remove it, but it becomes completely inert. Either way, he's happy and he devotes himself entirely to you, not Mystra.

#bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #gale dekarios #gale of waterdeep #bg3 mystra #mystra #astarion #lae'zel #shadowheart #wyll ravengard #karlach #cazador szarr #mizora #shar #minthara

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itsclydebitches · 7 months

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Zevlor: An Angsty Character Analysis

Hey, Zevlor simps. Can I interest anyone in 4,000 words about our favorite disaster tiefling? 💀

“We can’t stay, but we’ll be slaughtered if we leave—we’re no fighters.”

Back during my first play-through this is the line that turned Zevlor from another dime-a-dozen, exposition spouting NPC to a character I was legitimately interested in. “We’re no fighters.” My DnD ignorance abounds, but even I could see that wasn’t an accurate statement. Here’s a mountain of a man sporting fancier armor than my level 2 Tav knows exists yet, having wrecked half the goblin hoard with his crossbow and, if you let him, he'll happily turn to punching as a solution to verbal disagreements. Plus, he’s clearly the one giving the orders, so what do you mean you’re not a fighter?

Having explored the Grove a bit I chalked it up to a generalized assessment of the refugees as a whole. They’re mostly kids, civilians, and would-be protectors who only look the part of fighters in cobbled-together armor. One woman is grappling with the guilt of killing someone for the first time, even an enemy. Lakrissa is sure they’re all going to get slaughtered and is willing to put money on that fact. Meanwhile, the couple you meet are more concerned with what pet they’ll get when they somehow, someway, make it to the city. Don't worry about how that'll happen. You learn later that even those like Ronan are small potatoes compared to most of the baddies you’ll face. On paper he looks and sounds like the real deal—dressed in robes, talking up an apprenticeship with the famous Lorroakan—but scenes like the celebration light show and his own fury at needing to be saved, again, highlight how far he still has to go. The point is that Zevlor is right: these aren’t fighters and he at 18 strength, paladin, former commander, is definitely the exception.

However, BG3 is the sort of detail-heavy game where I’d expect them to include that exception in the dialogue. “We can’t stay, but we’ll be slaughtered if we leave—these people aren’t fighters.” Zevlor’s inclusion of himself in this assessment continued to nag at me and it didn’t start to make sense until I delved into his tag here on tumblr, with more patient players than myself posting everything there is to know about the tiefling. (Thanks, all.) Zevlor is fascinating to me in part because he has this contradictory nature, one example of which is that he’s a very talented fighter who desperately doesn’t want to be a fighter anymore.

…but also he totally does.

We overhear in his dialogue to Tilses that Zevlor is adamant about shedding the titles he’s earned through combat: Hellrider, Commander, Sir. He insists that they’re just civilians now and it’s not like he’s being disingenuous here—note that he introduces himself as just “Zevlor” to Tav. Zevlor means what he says to Tilses and we can see that he’s trying to both reinforce his point and lesson the blow by referring to her as “Tilly.” The nickname is a sweet one, hinting at their close bond in just a single word, reminding her that he’s not saying this to hurt her, he cares for her… but the nickname is simultaneously something he never would have used as her commander. The intimacy meant to comfort is also a hard blow to weather. They're now people who use nicknames inappropriate for the hierarchy of battle.

So Zevlor means what he says here, means it enough that Tilses is convinced and drops her use of “Commander,” but there’s definitely a hint of bitterness in his voice. At least, I’ve always heard it. Zevlor is steadfast in his conviction here, even going so far as to say, “I’m done soldiering, Tilly” when discussing what will come next at Baldur’s Gate. Yet for all of that his tone conveys (understandable) anger and disappointment that it’s come to this. Zevlor doesn’t act like someone who truly wants this change, but rather someone who’s been forced to accept it.

Is it outside forces unwillingly influencing him then? Did Avernus truly change things irrevocably? No, not really. At least, not in the way Zevlor likes to claim. Tilses herself states that being a Hellrider is for life; nothing can take away that title. You lost your post? Your whole city? Most of the people under your protection? Doesn’t matter! You’re a Hellrider forever, no matter the circumstances. I can easily picture a time in Zevlor's life where he would have agreed with Tilses wholeheartedly. They are Hellriders, dammit, and so long as there’s one person looking for their help they will wield that title alongside their blades. And right now, Zevlor has a lot more than just one person in need of his assistance.

So it’s not that Avernus truly stripped them of that identity. Nothing can do that. Zevlor is not rejecting titles and planning retirement because the mechanisms of fate are forcing him to.

He’s doing all that because he’s lost confidence in himself.

Even as someone with a shaky understanding of DnD classes, I love the parallel between a broken oath and the rejection of a lifelong title. If Zevlor can fail in his oath—or in his faith entirely, according to the memories stemming from his pod—why-ever would he think that any other ‘permanent’ part of his identity was worth fighting for? If you can loose the very thing you’ve built your entire life around, every important aspect of yourself, tied to your very soul… what’s a bestowed title compared to that? Zevlor doesn’t believe himself worthy of being a Hellrider anymore, but I think that goes deeper than a string of horrific circumstances making him feel incompetent. As an Oathbreaker, Zevlor likely believes that if he couldn’t uphold that, he can’t uphold anything. Calling himself a Hellrider would be a lie. A fiction. A pathetic, dangerous, insulting fiction at that. It’s like calling yourself the “Hero” while continually failing those around you. Sure, others might insist it’s a title you’ve earned, one you will always carry with you, but you don’t believe them anymore and at a certain point calling yourself that feels worse than embracing the title of “Villain." You don’t want to be the villain… but you want to pretend you’re the hero even less. Pretending is exhausting.

We see this struggle in the many ways that Zevlor fails, or almost fails, to uphold the ideals that originally guided him. I use the term “villain” above deliberately because Zevlor is not merely a former hero-type who’s self confidence has been shattered, or who has been reduced to a civilian, or who thinks themselves useless; he’s actively fighting against temptations that, under less stressful situations, he’d never even consider. I don’t think he is a villain, I think he’s a flawed, struggling victim who sees his own, inevitable mistakes as villainous—and the longer that warped perspective continues the easier it is to fall into bad behaviors. This cycle is perfectly summarized in the autobiography Zevlor keeps by his bed:

“When every passer-by thinks you a thief and a heretic, it is deeply tempting to become one.”

We don’t know if this is Zevlor’s autobiography (as far as I’m aware, anyway) but even if it’s not the words have clearly resonated enough for him to keep them nearby. This particular line paints a pretty clear picture of Zevlor’s struggle. If everyone you meet says you’re devil-kin, vermin, or would-be criminal, isn’t it easier to just give them what they want? If you can’t persuade them otherwise, why put in the effort of trying? If he can’t be Faithful to his God, why have faith in anything at all? If he can’t save these people—setback after setback, mistake after mistake—why is he even making the effort?

Zevlor obviously is trying, very, very hard, which is why such thoughts are merely temptations rather than actual, questionable actions. Still, the Grove gives us numerous examples of the precipice he’s balanced on—and the ways Tav can tip him in one direction or another. You can talk Zevlor down from his anger and get him to acknowledge his disgust in nearly sinking to Aradin’s level. You can also let him boil over and punch the human at a time when the last thing anyone needs is more violence. You can convince Zevlor that there are peaceful ways of stopping Kagha's ritual, or you can help him in pursuing the darker temptation to kill her. It’s a “low” thought, but at his own admission he hasn’t been above entertaining it. Zevlor’s requests for help, though always polite and humble, carry a spark of manipulation in them too. He’s not above leveraging your previously selfless good deed to his advantage—"She owes you for saving this grove"—and if you approach him before speaking with Kagha he’ll claim that the ritual will “be trouble—for all of us.” Except, no? Not really? Tav can make it clear that they’re just here for a healer, they’re only passing through, and as a fighter they are not beholden to the Grove’s sanctuary as the teiflings are. It’s not trouble for everyone involved, yet Zevlor frames it as such in the hopes that (unnecessary) self-interest may motivate you if selflessness fails. Finally, if Zevlor dies in your play-through and you use Speak the Dead on him, he will admit to having “plenty” of secrets, none of which he’ll share. Admittedly, this may be the result of cut content, specifically a story-line in which Zevlor knowingly betrays the tieflings rather than being tricked by the Absolute. Still, the game as it stands is the story we have and within it we’re given a man who is both fighting against these dark urges (ha) and has a past riddled with secrets. If Zevlor is anything, it’s blunt when it comes to his own failings, accurate and otherwise. So how terrible must these secrets be that he outright refuses to divulge them when, generally speaking, most corpses speak freely in death?

However, out of all of this the struggle I’m most intrigued by is the one surrounding the gate. Zevlor represents the tieflings: persecuted refugees, vulnerable civilians, people seeking to survive through cooperation, specifically by joining a community. Kagha represents the druids (or at least a vocal subset of them in Halsin’s absence): bigoted individuals, powerful fighters, people seeking to survive by giving in to their fears, specifically by keeping themselves isolated. This is the moral dichotomy of the Grove and it is symbolized through the gate. Zevlor wants to open it to everyone whereas Kagha wants to close it, permanently.

So isn’t it odd that Zevlor is the one ordering it shut?

When the scene first starts Kanon shouts down that no, he won’t open the gate. Zevlor said that no one is allowed in. Notably, he’s saying this to Aradin and his crew, people that the Grove is at least passingly familiar with, given that Halsin left with them to search the temple. It’s also notable that Zevlor isn’t expecting goblins to attack the Grove. He’s shocked that this is suddenly a problem, brought about by Aradin’s decision—“You lead them here?”— and the entire point of staying at the Grove is that it’s at least comparatively safe. Yes, there have been more attacks lately, but Zevlor seems to be relying on the Grove’s relatively unknown location, as well as the fact that goblins are normally disorganized. The safety is only compromised because Aradin brought a hunting party back, so Zevlor has no reason to expect any visitors, let alone ones that would be a threat.

More importantly, he should welcome such visitors even if he did expect them. After all, that’s precisely what the tieflings are: strangers with no ulterior motives other than to survive. Broadly speaking it makes perfect sense why he'd shut the gates. Zevlor’s first priority is to his people, so anything that keeps them safe is, theoretically, a good thing. But through the lens of his specific characterization and this specific, moral dilemma, it’s an awfully hypocritical decision. Based on everything we’ve seen, our party would not have been welcomed by Zevlor if we’d arrived without danger on our heels and a rescue to endear him to us. So his people should be welcomed, trusted, kept safe, given the benefit of the doubt… but Zevlor isn’t necessarily willing to extend that same trust to others. At the end of the day, he and Kagha want a version of the same thing: safety for those they deem are worthy of it.

It’s precisely these flaws and temptations that make Zevlor such a great character to me, even before he’s tricked by the Absolute. The fandom has leaned hard into Zevlor’s self-loathing and let me tell you, I love it (kisses, hugs, and cookies for you all), but canonically I think he has more reason to fear himself than we tend to portray in the H/C fics. I’m not saying he’s a bad person. Rather, it’s precisely because Zevlor is such a good person that he has the capacity to fall so far. It’s his all-consuming desire to protect his family that leads Zevlor to do and consider so much that a paladin would normally balk at. Denying others the safety you’ve been granted. Subtly manipulating others to do your dirty work. Considering murder.

Zevlor is someone torn between doing the Right Thing and the thing he believes will help those under his care survive. Importantly, when we first meet him he considers these to be two separate courses of action. So can you imagine what goes through his head when he first sees Tav saving everyone and doing so righteously? I think it’s integral to Zevlor’s characterization that the game all but forces you to play the Good Guy in that initial encounter. A cut scene starts, you’re thrown into combat immediately afterwards, and unless you plan to start attacking the Grove members alongside the goblins (which the mechanics discourage through the coloring that distinguishes enemies from allies) you will always finish this fight as Zevlor’s hero. Sure, you can be an asshole afterwards and demand payment. You could already be plotting your betrayal and the slaughter of all the refugees. But in this moment you are nothing but a miracle made flesh in his eyes. Right from the start Tav is succeeding in all the ways Zevlor feels like he's failed. You're the hero.

More specifically, you’re an Every-Man Hero. We might have epic backstories for our Tavs, but within confines of the game you’re largely a nobody when not playing an Origin character. How powerful must that have been to witness then? A total stranger, someone who has no ties to the tieflings or even, depending on your class, any sworn reason to help others, putting their life on the line to save what is most precious to Zevlor? I think a lot about the fact that he never asks Wyll to step in and try to change Kagha’s mind. She owes him just as much as she does Tav—Wyll is an equal participant in that fight and, if your shoddy play style is anything like mine, he likely did more damage—and Wyll is clearly invested in the tiefling’s survival, training the kids as he is. Now, obviously Zevlor’s reticence is largely a question of assigned roles (we need to be the one engaging with Kagha because we’re the protagonist/player) but, like Zevlor’s choice to include himself in the Not a Fighter group, it would have been all too easy to explain this away within the narrative. One comment about how Wyll already tried and failed, or how Kagha doesn’t trust Warlocks, or hell, maybe you don’t meet Wyll in the Grove at all. It’s an easy thing to accomplish and though this is edging more into the realm of headcanon than anything else, I can’t help but think that Wyll isn’t the kind of person that Zevlor could turn to for help right now. Because he’s a folk hero. The Blade of Frontiers, known far and wide for his impressive, selfless deeds. Zevlor is struggling so hard to keep the tieflings safe, tempted by all the unsavory solutions that might achieve that, drowning in self-hatred as his past and current failings catch up with him, wanting nothing more than to be his peoples’ protector:

“I would be a paladin again—with a god’s purpose, a god’s power. Everything I needed to protect my people. And all the while, the cult tortured them. They fought, and ran, and died around me, while I imagined myself their savior.”

Three of the things Zevlor mutters while trapped in the pod are “Hellrider… for… life…,” “Trust… in me…,” and “Children… look away… look at me…” He wants to be the protector, the one children look to for reassurance, he wants his words to Tilly to be a lie and he wants a way to prove that he is a Hellrider for life… but he’s not. At least, Zevlor doesn’t believe it. He lost his titles while Wyll still proudly bears his. Wyll trains the children to fight while Zevlor can only get swept up in anger at them being threatened. The people trust Wyll, adore him, he’s the hero and Zevlor… is not. Not anymore.

It’s too painful to approach Wyll and admit all that. That would be a hell of a blow to Zevlor's pride. But Tav? A stranger? A nobody? The Every-man who had no reason to help or reputation pressuring them, saving them anyway? That’s inspiring. Someone like Tav could be the answer and even, perhaps, the proof that Zevlor could redeem himself. Neither of them are folk heroes, untouchable in their assumed perfection. Tav is a living, breathing example of how the flawed, everyday adventurer can be everything Zevlor strives for.

No wonder he won’t shut up about them in the Shadowlands.

All of this is why it’s so tragic that Zevlor wasn’t given a redemption arc. Sure, you can recruit him for the final battle against the Netherbrain, but there’s no quest to change the cast’s opinion of him—or change Zevlor’s opinion of himself. All his content at the end of Act 2 and Act 3 reinforces that self-hatred.

Let’s make a list, shall we?

Nearly every line of his reunion with Tav has Zevlor painting himself in the worst light possible, from “a lie kinder than the truth” to his refusal to join you because he believes he’ll stab you in the back. You cannot convince him of the Absolute’s manipulation and there’s no response to his belief that such horrors start within the person like, “Of course it does! Because we’re all flawed and equally capable of good and evil deeds! That potential doesn’t make you irredeemable, Zevlor, it makes you mortal!!”

He’s utterly failed as his peoples’ champion and he’s also deemed “unworthy” of being a True Soul. Obviously not being chosen by the Absolute is a good thing, but for a man drowning in self-loathing that’s one hell of a complicated rejection.

Nearly all the tieflings hate him now, all those people he’s been sacrificing his soul to keep safe. I found it particularly devastating that this is one of the rare occasions where nailing a persuasion check doesn’t change the person’s mind. There’s at least one tiefling at Moonrise (I’m drawing a blank on her name) who will believe you when you explain how the Absolute influenced Zevlor, but that doesn’t lead to forgiveness.

Zevlor is deemed unimportant on a literal, narrative level. He is very easy to miss in the pods (I nearly did on my first play-through) and the game does incredibly little to dissuade you from that mistake. Putting aside for a moment that obviously an Origin companion is more significant than a minor NPC, compare this to Shadowheart screaming from her own pod, the game making it abundantly clear that this is someone in need of help—someone worth rescuing. She’ll even say later that you could have run past, more concerned with your own survival and the big picture heroics to bother with her. How must it feel then, if Zevlor ever learns that Tav was there and never stopped for him?

If you do miss Zevlor… oh boy. We’ve probably all seen at least a recording of Orin’s so-called gift. There are plenty of characters who can meet untimely and devastating ends, but very few go through this level of horror. Zevlor—after being held captive, remember—is tortured by God’s Favorite Torturer. He is stripped of his personhood and reduced to a mere “message,” a “pet.” Zevlor is further humiliated in death by being literally stripped of his armor—not just vulnerable in his nakedness, but denied the last symbol of his faith, his status, his power—and it’s always struck me that this is the closest we see to him 'enjoying' an intimate moment, this parody in Orin’s painting. Zevlor is one of the NPC’s most in need of physical comfort and instead he’s forced into this torturous mockery of a sex scene. It also hits hard that when Tav first spots his body the narration says that Zevlor “might almost be sleeping.” Undoubtedly this is a man who isn’t taking good care of himself. He needs a good night’s rest, yet this horrifying trick is all he gets.

As if all this weren’t enough, most of your companion are VERY critical of Zevlor while commenting on his demise. It’s one thing for the tieflings to believe the worst given their ignorance and the fact that they are the ones who suffered from Zevlor’s failure, but your company understands the Absolute and the ways that she gets her hooks in people. Still, Astarion calls him a “wet rag” even if he did deserve better than this. Shadowheart wouldn’t have wished this on him either, but she can’t help but slip in a “no matter his failings.” Lae’zel, often the most blunt, straight up says that he was “always destined to fail his people—and to fail us.” Wyll shakes his head and intones that “even good intentions can lead us down deadly paths.” Only Gale and Karlach stick to mourning the dead rather than airing his shortcomings.

When I spoke to my allies before the final battle Zevlor didn’t have a cut scene. It became clear to me later that this must have been a bug in my play-through, but at the time it only reinforced my feelings that his story was incomplete. Looking on Youtube I’ve found recordings of him saying that he is a Hellrider once more and he would “die a proud man if [he] were to die this day”… but that rings as terribly hollow given where we left him. Last we were together, Zevlor was saying in no uncertain terms that he could not be trusted, he would fail again, he was unworthy of forgiveness. Where did this change of heart come from? It makes perfect sense that he would help Tav in this moment—he begs to be of some use after getting free—but not that he would present himself with such confidence. Within the story as it’s been told this feels… fake. Like Zevlor is putting on a mask to fit the mood of this lively, optimistic party. Which, in turn, gives the “I would die a proud man” line a terrifying implication to me. Does Zevlor expect to die this day? Does he intend to? What would persuade him not to lay down his life here and now? His mission is complete. The tieflings are safe—though not by his hand. There's no hero's welcome waiting for him after this battle. They hate him. He hates himself, and by his own admission the one thing that could still make him proud would be to die at Tav’s side, trying to do one last bit of good. If someone said that to me after everything Zevlor has been through I would keep them far away from the front lines.

(I did, for the record lol.)

I’m not saying anything new then when I go, “Larian, PLEASE add more to his story.” Give us a Zevlor side-quest to renew his oath. Let us invite him to our camp. Something to link the broken man mid-game and the confident fighter at the end so that the latter doesn’t feel like an alarm bell with two legs and a tail. I mean yeah, I get hooked on minor characters so 75% of this is simply me wanting more content of a fave, but I also I do legitimately believe that BG3’s story would benefit from tying up loose ends like this.

Zevlor is a fantastic character, someone who contains an astounding amount of complexity for so little screen time. You have to follow up on that complexity though. If he’s meant to be a purely tragic figure, okay, fine, that’s the ending you get with Orin. But one where he joins you with a smile and reclaims a title he's previously rejected with such fervor requires more work in the middle; a through-line that explains how someone with so much self-loathing learns to think of himself as the hero again.

Because it does all come down to Zevlor’s perception of himself. He was always a hero, flaws and all. He always was and always will be a Hellrider.

The UI knows what's up :)

#BG3 #Zevlor #bg3 Zevlor #wow this took forever #someone cry over this wet cat of a tiefling with me #mymetas

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lovingmattysposts · 5 months

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You dont know me 4

P1 P2 P3 P5 P6 P7 P8 P9 P10 P11 P12 P13 P14 P15 P16 P17 P18 P19 P20 P21 P22 P23 P24 P25 P26 P27 P28 P29 P30 P31 P32

pairing: y/n and chris sturniolo

summary: you and Chris came from two different sides of the spectrum when it came to the social scale. You had the perfect life, the perfect boyfriend, the perfect parents, but when you start to peal back that layers things got messy. Your life was set and stone, your future was set and stone. That was until he comes and changes everything.

warnings: suggestive, cursing

chris pov

I didn't sleep. How could I fucking sleep? The way she looked up at me with those eyes. I should have just kissed her. I couldn't. I knew I couldn't. God, but the way she looked up at me like she was ready to risk everything. Her lips. They way she licked them. I cursed myself the whole way home. She was just high. That's what I kept telling myself. She didn't really want to kiss me. She probably woke up this morning regretting even alluding to the fact that she wanted to. I didn't. I woke up still angry at myself that I didn't.

She didn't want to be like that though. That's what she told me. She didn't want to be that girl who cheats on her boyfriend. She didn't want to be seen like that. She didn't want to see herself like that. So I wasn't going to make her see herself that way. We kissed once. One amazing, hot, gut wrenching, head spinning kiss. That was it. That's all it's ever going to be.

The tension was so thick, she had to have felt it too. It was suffocating me. I wish I wasn't so attracted to her. I wish I didn't think about how she would look if she was underneath me. How her head would be back into the pillow. The sounds she would make. How she would feel. The way her nails that she scaled across my arms would feel over my back as I-.

I had to stop. I'm literally in public.

"It's not fair! Coach can't do this to me! This is our regional qualifier! He knows he can do it without me on defense!" Nate yelled to me as we sat in class. I wasn't really listening. Not with the unholy thoughts going through my mind in this moment. God. Is it hot in here?

"Are you even listening?" Nate spat at me. I sat up in my chair and looked at him and nodded. He crossed his arms. "Yes I am. The coach benched you because you had too many penalties. Listen Nate, it's part of the rules. If he forgoes the rules for you, how is he suppose to enforces them on someone else when the same thing happens to them?" I asked leaning up raising my eyebrows. He huffed and leaned back.

"Since when do you care about rules?" He rolled his eyes. I shrugged. "I don't. I'm just telling you why this is happening to you" I said shaking my head. He slammed his hands on his desk. Jesus, he's dramatic. "You know he would never do this to Hastings! He has it out for me. I think Hastings pays him to play" He said shaking his head. I smiled and shook my head.

"Whether he does or doesn't. You're a better player Nate, and it's only for the first half" I said looking at him. He huffed and mumbled to himself. I rolled my eyes. "You're coming right?" he looking up at me. I looked up at him shaking my head profusely. He held his hands up. "You're my best friend, you have to come" He argued at me. I shook my head.

The bell rang and we grabbed our stuff as we made it out of the classroom and into the hallway. Nate ran up beside me. "You can't argue me on this. This could be the most important game of my life. I need you to be there" He said looking at me.

"I said no. It's three hours away" I said shaking my head. Nothing was going to convince me to go to this game. "And you say that about every game" I said looking at him. He shook his head. "Because every game is more important than the last! Please come, no one comes except for the coaches wife and kids, some of the parents, and the princess" He rolled his eyes.

I stopped and looked at him. "Y/n?" I asked looking at him. He pursed his lips and crossed his arms. "Yeah also known as Max's girlfriend, might I add" He said raising his eyebrows. I huffed. "Don't tell me you've got it in for princess over here" He said laughing at me. I glared at him. "Don't call her that" I said looking at him.

"What you don't want me to call her that because you started fucking Labraut over here?" He asked smiling. I grabbed his arm and pulled him to the side of the hallway. "Would you keep your fucking voice down?" I spat at him. He looked at me with wide eyes. "You like her" He stated looking at me. I glared at him.

"Nate stop" I stared at him. He shook his head. "Whatever. Come, don't come, see if I get a fuck" He spat before turning and walking away. I sighed. I didn't mean to piss him off. I just don't know why he gets so bent out of shape about Y/n.

Whatever, I didn't have time for this. I turned to start walking the other way when I saw her. She was leaned against the locker talking to her friend. She smiled and squeezed her eyes shut laughing at whatever she said. I smiled looking at her. God, I can't be her friend.

Y/n pov

"Why won't you tell me about anything that happened?" Sydney asked leaning up against the lockers. I looked over at her crossing my arms. "I told you what happened, I went over there asked him to keep his mouth shut and I left. That was it" I lied right through my teeth. She raised her eyebrows.

I kept my game face. I didn't mention the drugs, the hand holding, or the almost-kiss. She didn't need to know about any of it. What Sydney doesn't know can't hurt her. I don't need her to be worrying about the fact that Chris and I were friends now. She would make a big drama out of it. That I don't need.

"Well did he say anything else?" She asked raising her eyebrows at me. I shook my head. "Nothing else. It's over let's both forget about it" I said looking at her. I needed her to drop this. She sighed. "Why did you choose him to kiss anyway? He's like a ghost, he barely even goes here I think" She laughed.

I clenched my jaw. I didn't like her talking down on Chris. There was no reason for it. She doesn't even know him, but I didn't need to defend him. I didn't want her to get suspicious of anything. Not that there was anything to be suspicious about anyway. We're friends that's all.

I shrugged.

"I don't know. I barely even know his name" I forced a laugh out of my mouth. All of the sudden as if on cue, the locker a few lockers down slammed shut. We both turned from the sound. I saw Chris looking back at me with a straight face for a second and then turn and walk off.

Fuck. He heard me.

I closed my eyes and sighed looking down. Great start off of a friendship. God, I'm a bitch. I grabbed the rest of my things out of my locker and slammed it shut, starting to walk after him.

"Y/n" Sydney said making me turn back around. She shook her head with a nervous look on her face. "What are you doing?" She whispered back loudly. It turned around and watched Chris turn the corner of the hallway. I turned back to Sydney, biting my lip. Fuck, what do I do? I tapped my foot on the ground.

"Hold on" I said quickly before darting off after Chris. I can't have him think I meant that. He can't think I meant that. I shook my head at myself as I moved around the rest of the people in the hallway. I whipped my head around, looking for any sign of him. No where. He disappeared. He's good at that. I bit my lip as I circled the hall. I stopped when I saw a door that led outside.

I turned my head side to side to see if anyone was looking before opening the door and walking out. I turned and saw Chris leaning against the wall smoking a cigarette. I sighed of relief as I walked up to him. He didn't look up at me as he took the cigarette out of his mouth.

"Hey" I breathed. He didn't respond, just looking out to the parking lot. I sighed. I set my bag down and leaned next to him. "Look I'm sorry, it's just Sydney she-" I stopped myself. This excuse makes me sound like an entitled bitch. I shook my head.

"I'm just sorry I shouldn't have said that" I said looking at him. He showed no emotion in his face. I licked my lips waiting for him to respond, but he didn't as he took another hit.

"I just don't want her asking questions" I said looking down. Still nothing. Silence. I tapped my foot on the pavement. Why wasn't he responding? Did he not care? Did I piss him off so bad he just wanted to forget the friendship completely? I couldn't have that. Fuck. I pushed his arm, he just looked down at me.

"Chris, I'm sorry" I said again. He just looked back forward. Silence. I sighed and looked down. Okay. I wasn't going to force him to speak to me. I get it, it was bitchy. I leaned down and grabbed my bag and threw it over my shoulder before walking back towards the door in defeat. I grabbed the handle when I stopped. I turned back around and walked forwards slightly.

"I know you Chris" I said looking at him. He didn't look at me. I set my bag back down. "I know your last name is Sturniolo and that you moved here halfway through sophomore year and I know that no one knows why." He looked over at me. Dropping the cigarette by his side.

"I know that Nate is the only person you talk to at this school, because I've never seen you with anyone else" I said shaking my head. "I know that you only take honors and ap classes because you're viciously smart for some reason. I know you used to play track and stopped because you got into a fist fight with the coach's son and that you go to every single one of Nate's games, because I see you there" I smiled shaking my head.

"I know you moved from Massachusetts because of your accent and I know you absolutely hate parties because you looked miserable at the last one and I know you only go because Nate wants you there and you go because you care about him" I breathed. "I know you're the most angry and hostile guy at this damn school, but only when people do something wrong not because you just like to beat up people for no reason." I laughed. He still stared at me.

"And I know that there's a heart buried somewhere down there because you're choosing to save my relationship and I can't understand why" I said shaking my head. He pursed his lips and looked down. I sighed and reached down for my bag.

"That's-" He breathed. I looked up at him, dropping my bag by my side. "Really fucking scary that you know all of that" He laughed lightly. I smiled at him. "I'm not creepy, I'm observant" I stated looking at him. His face fell into no emotion again, before sitting down against the wall.

I just blinked down at him. He sighed and looked at me before motioning next to him. I smiled and set down my bag before way to eagerly walking over him. I basically skipped, it was pathetic. I plopped down next to him and leaned my head against the wall.

He held his cigarette up to my face. I scrunched my nose and shook my head moving his hand away. He looked down at me, smiling. I smiled up at him. God, the tension. Why did it always have to be like this? Why couldn't I just sit with my friend, and not want to melt into his eyes and give him every single part of me?

He looked away from me. I played with my fingers as he blew smoke out his mouth. I looked over at him. "Why don't you do hockey?" I asked looking at him. He didn't look at me. "Take out your aggression on a puck instead of people?" I smiled looking down. He shrugged. "Not my thing" He mumbled. I nodded slowly.

"Plus Nate is better than me at it. It wouldn't be good for my ego" He said smiling down at me, making me smile at my hands. "I'm not that much of an angry person" He mumbled. I looked at him, and he looked at me. I furrowed my eyebrows. "I once saw you beat up Sam Wright for bumping into you in the hallway" I laughed. He smiled and shook his head.

"That was because he was talking bad about Nate's sister" He said shaking his head. "He was just asking for it when he bumped into me" He smiled. I nodded. Questions circled my mind about him. I wanted to know everything about him. I want to know what makes Chris, Chris. I probably shouldn't have but I started with the most obvious one.

"What made you move to Michigan?" I asked quietly. He stared forward. Silence fell between us. Thick, awful silence. I looked up at him when he didn't respond. He wasn't looking at me. his jaw was tight as he stared out onto the parking lot. I couldn't read the expression on his face. I hoped that I didn't overstep a boundary. The energy between us shifted into uncomfortable silence. I swallowed.

"What you didn't like kill someone or something did you?" I laughed attempting to lighten the mood between us. I hated whatever was going on right now. I should have just dropped it, seeing the hurt on his face when he looked at me.

I felt my heart drop in my stomach from his look. My eyebrows furrowed. He turned from me throwing the rest of his cigarette on the ground and standing up grabbing his bag roughly off the ground.

I just looked up at him as he marched towards the door.

"Chris" I said as he opened the door and let it slam behind him. I felt guilt wash over me. What did I say? I frowned and looked down at my feet. Why am I so naive sometimes? I stood up slowly, wiping my hands on my jeans and grabbing my bag off the ground, before walking back into the building. I turned and looked down both hallways, he was no where to be seen. God he's so good at that. I bit my lip as I walked to class.

I couldn't focus the rest of the day. Calculous, Biology, Health, nothing. I didn't pay attention to a single thing that the teacher went on and on about. All I could think about was the look on Chris's face. Like I had insulted him, and I didn't even know what I said. I know he couldn't possibly have killed someone, so what was it? My mind raced all day. I needed to talk to him, to apologize for whatever I did.

I couldn't lose him. In one way or another, I couldn't lose him.

The final bell rang and I quickly got up. Maybe I could find him in the hallway. I walked out of the classroom and saw a storm of people. I bit my lip as I looked from side to side. I hate that I was always trying to hunt him down and that he was always hiding. I wanted to cry. What did I do? I looked down at my feet as I felt Max walk up to me.

He was complaining again about hockey practice. How coach 'always made him doe extra reps'. Only because you're the best babe, is what I would normally have said if the thought of Chris being angry with me wasn't eating me alive.

I just looked up and nodded as we walked out of the school and into the parking lot. I still glanced up to see if I could spot Chris. Nothing. I gave up hope completely before hearing my name being called.

"Labraut!"

I turned around from the loudness of the voice that was calling my name. Max turned with me. I felt my heart beat quicken and panic run up my neck as I saw Nate walking up to us. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. I couldn't speak my throat ran dry. I couldn't even move my feet they were planted into the ground as he walked up to us.

"What the fuck did you say to him?" Nate said walking up to me. Max stepped in from of me and pushed me behind him. My turned red as I stared at him. "Back up Doe" Max yelled back at him. I just looked at him with a horrified look on my face. Nate didn't look at Max, his eyes were planted on me. I swallowed.

"I don't know" I said quietly. He glared at me. "Look, I know you're some stuck up rich prick, who thinks she can do whatever she wants and say whatever she wants. Hate to break it to you princess. That's not the case" He said looking at me. A crowd had stopped around us briefly in the parking lot. I hate that this was drawing attention, but not as much as this made my stomach drop thinking about how I had hurt Chris.

Max shoved Nate back. "You don't get to talk to my girlfriend like that" Max said towering over Nate. Nate glared up at him before smiling silently. Please Nate. Please don't.

"I'd stay out of this one if I were you Hastings" He smiled looking at him and then me. I looked at him before closing my eyes and looking down. Nate pushed Max back before backing away.

Nate looked over at me and scoffed shaking his head and walking away. My heart was beating out of my chest. Nate could have blow my whole life up over this, and he didn't. He screamed at me, yes. But he didn't say anything. I guess Chris was right, he wasn't going to say anything.

I looked down at my feet. Max shook his head before turning over to me. "What was that about?" He asked looking down at me. I looked up over towards the direction of where Nate walked. Chris was now with him. Chris was shaking his head as Nate talked to him and then they both walked away.

"I have no idea" I whispered with a straight face.

tag list: @rac00ns-are-c00l4 @miastromboli @secret-sturniolo @sturnsclutter @sturniolodreamz @paper-crab @chrisolivia4l @mwah0mwah @recklesssturniolo @ejswift @kitaysworld @meg-sturniolo @nickmillersn1gf @fr3shl0ve @adrianaturnedpretty @oversturn @ghostgurlswrld @flowerxbunnie @ilytrinsworld @lustfulslxt @kiarastromboli @gemofthenight @blahbel668 @haunted-headset @sturnybabes @bethsturn @d3adlyclassrat @sturnybabes @mattsbitch @chrisluvbot @nickenthusiast @sturniolossmut @biimpanicking @iloveneilperry @chalametbich @dsmja @bernardsleftbootycheek @lovingsturniolo @aoxash @idrkk-123 @gingerbreadgodofhyperdeath @babagurlrichey @meme2003

#matt sturniolo #sturniolo fanfic #sturniolo smut #nicolas sturniolo #christopher sturniolo #sturniolo x reader #nick sturniolo #chris sturniolo #sturniolo triplets

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preciouslittlebhaalbabe3 · 2 months

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Thoughts about Ascended Astarion! (This is a long one, and I'm not trying to change anyones opinion, just highlighting the fact that the player is in complete control of the situation at all times. This game is about choices.) First off, I don't usually prefer to ascend him. But I love all versions of Astarion. His character is so well written and all of his arcs deserve praise and attention no matter what your personal opinion of them are. The devs did an incredible job. If any parts of his arc (ascended or spawn) make you uncomfortable, then romancing him isn't for you. If the dynamic between AA and your character makes you feel scared or upset, don't ascend him. That dynamic is supposed to be 100% consentual. He's a tough nut to crack and his story can be very triggering. I myself broke down a few times hearing him talk about what he went through. There are other companions with lovely character development that you can choose. When people go "ugh he's ruined I didn't want this" My dear, with all due respect. This is the dark fantasy romance option. Emphasis on the fantasy. You didn’t get his approval by being nice. It's not like he's the only option. You chose to romance the vampire. The game warns you of what exactly you're about to do multiple times. You willingly help him murder thousands of people for freedom. A vampire who was a literal slave for longer than he was even alive for just got a MASSIVE amount of power. Were you expecting he was gonna just be a good guy now? He has had NOTHING for so long. His entire life trajectory changed within moments. He’s still figuring himself out. You as the player are still completely in charge. He owes everything to you and he knows that. You can walk away at literally any point. He asks you to kneel and obey to establish trust and a dynamic. To confirm this is what you want. YOU CAN SAY NO. Then, he gets right down on the floor with you. He's either gentle or rough based on your choice. If you don't like the vibe just break up with him at that point like he literally lets you do. Or, even just reload the save. But just remember. "That's what you want, isn't it?". When Astarion ascends, Neil says it best. His mask is off and he's allowed to be at his most terrible with no fear. He doesn't have to perform or be aloof as a distraction from the pain anymore. He was never good aligned. But now, he has the power and ability to give himself and his favourite person the life he thinks they wanted. Otherwise why would you ascend him? His love language becomes acts of service and gifts. He ADORES tav to almost obsession. He's always doting on them and calling them his. The ritual only amplifies that. "but what about what he says if you convince him not to go through with it?"

He’s not lying. He knows tav saved him from himself. It is technically the “good” ending. But that’s not what matters here. The ascension is for characters who are not good aligned. It is for characters that are just as much of a power hungry monster as ascended Astarion is. They want to be a monarch that rules the world over. It’s a role playing thing. Is it wrong? That’s for you to decide for yourself. Not others.

"but what about karlach? He's a massive jackass to her when he ascends" ...Yes. He's not a good guy. Karlach is basically the goodest character in the game. It won't work. And if you do break up with him, he lashes out and says some extremely hurtful things. Because you just broke his heart. It's a perfectly normal response from someone being completely blindsided. He thought you wanted this. You said you wanted this. After everything you both did you get here, he feels betrayed. Not even to mention ascended Astarion does not make you just a regular spawn. You quite literally become his vampire spouse. He thanks you for putting your trust in him. Then eventually you become a true vampire with time. He wants to make sure tav doesn't go insane after being turned. If you wanna learn more about vampire spouses in DnD I highly reccomend doing some google searches. It's fascinating. Is ascending him the right thing to do? No, but it's not "wrong". The game doesn't work that way. Is keeping him a spawn the right thing to do? Maybe, if your character thinks it is. Either route has their sets of pros and cons. It's up to you which ones you think work for your playthrough.

I almost always convince him not to go through with the ritual. But ascended Astarion + durge is a power couple and the vibes are immaculate for evil runs. Just have fun with the game! The devs made all these character arcs for you to explore! Thanks for reading <3

#baldurs gate #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #astarion #bg3 astarion #astarion baldurs gate #ascended astarion #spawn astarion #vampire spawn #dark consort #dark romance #astarion analysis #ascended astarion analysis #let people enjoy things

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sunflowerskies00 · 2 months

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meet the family, sorta

in which y'n's brothers walk in on her and her boyfriend

youngerhughessister!reader x rutger mcgroarty

requested

word count: 1.7k

I loved the lake house. I loved Quinn and Jack even more for buying the lake house. The thought of going to the lake house is what got me through the school year, that and getting to see my brothers again.

I had decided to go to U Mich for college, meaning I was nowhere near any of my brothers during the school year, it was a bummer but getting to spend the entire summer with them sort of made up for it.

However, this year was slightly different. I had started dating Rutger, one of the U Mich hockey players, in the fall. That was 8 months ago. Had I told my brothers? No. I had kept it a secret, and the few things that had been posted on social media had been faceless. My brothers obviously bugged me about who it was and asked when they'd get to meet him. Unbeknownst to them, Luke had already met him and knew him decently well. He just hadn't been my boyfriend when they were teammates. Luke didn't even know I still talked to some of his teammates. They really didn't know that I was bringing said teammate with me to the lake house.

When they had asked if they would finally get to meet the guy this summer, I told them sure, if I could bring him to the lake house with me. They said yes, but then informed me if he was a douchebag they were telling him to get out. A part of me was convinced Luke was going to be telling him to get out anyway.

"Hey," Rutger's voice pulls me out of my thoughts and I glance over at him from the passenger seat.

"Huh?" I ask, missing if he had said anything to me before the word hey.

"We're here," he pulls into the driveway. Normally, I'm at the house as soon as my last class is done, which means that sometimes my brothers were still in the playoffs if their teams had made it. This year, however, I went with Rut to Nebraska for a couple of weeks when classes got out, which meant that my brothers were all done with their seasons and were all already here. Wanting to make sure we had at least a little bit to settle in before chaos ensued, I stalked my brothers' locations, which I forced them to share with me, to make sure we'd get to the house when they were all out at the gym.

I unbuckle my seatbelt and bolt out of the car, grabbing my bag from the backseat. I kept most of my summer clothing here, considering this was basically the only place I ever was during the summer, but there had been a couple of things I had brought with me to Nebraska. I lead Rut through the house and upstairs and to the bedroom I had claimed as mine when my brothers had bought the house.

"Well, if this doesn't scream y/n," he steps into my room, looking around at the decor. It was decorated almost the exact same as my bedroom at college. "Did you just buy two of everything when you were decorating?" he teases. He leaves his bag by my door and flops backward onto the bed.

"I might have done that, it's not impossible," I smile in response, letting myself fall onto the bed next to him. He yawns and lets his eyes fall closed. "No way, I just spent for too much time in Nebraska and there is a giant lake out there calling my name," I say, springing off the bed and going straight to my drawer of swimsuits.

"I want to nap," Rutger mutters.

"You can nap on the beach or on a floating thing in the lake, or on the boat," I go to his bag and it takes me all of three seconds to find his swim trunks and chuck them at him before going to change into the swimsuit I had grabbed. By the time I walked back into my room, Rut had gotten off my bed and changed into the swim trunks. "Let's go," I grin at him. I stop and grab beach towels on my way out, Rutger falling closely behind.

"What are the odds Luke will be pissed?" he asks me as I make myself comfy out on the dock.

"I don't think he'll be pissed," I say truthfully. "He might be a little agitated, but I really don't think he'll be that pissed."

"And any reason you didn't tell them we were dating sooner?" he asks.

"Because they're annoying and overbearing, and I like living in my brother-less bubble sometimes," I answer him. "Wait, are you mad I didn't say anything sooner?" I ask, sitting straight up from where I'm lying to look at him.

"No, I'm not mad," he laughs. "I was just curious, I thought maybe you were just trying to piss them off," he shrugs.

"Well, that is super fun, this time I was not purposefully trying to make them mad," I lay back down. I'm about to open my book and start reading when Rutger is suddenly picking me up off the dock, making my drop my book to the side. "Rutger McGroarty, do not drop me into the water," I warn.

"But you were all I need the lake now," he teases before plunging himself plus me into the water. I pop back up, fake glaring at him. "You looked hot," he shrugs, a smile playing on his lips. I roll my eyes at him before splashing him. He shakes his hair at me before tackling me backward into the water. I resurface, ready to tackle Rutger back into the water, but my attempts fail miserably. He's a solid 7 inches taller than me, and a whole lot stronger, so when I go to tackle him he just grabs me and hauls me up out of the water. I narrow my eyes at him as my legs wrap around his waist.

"You're not very good at this game," he grins.

"You have an unfair advantage," I point out, a smile making its way onto my face.

"That sounds like something a sore loser would say," he teases. I just shake my head at him, situating my arms around his shoulders, to help keep myself up. Not that he needed any help, he didn't seem to be putting any effort into holding me out of the water. I lean forward and press my lips against his, pulling myself closer to him, not that it's really possible when I'm already pressed up against him. At that moment I completely forget that there are neighbors who could be watching us, and I definitely forget that my brothers could come home at any time and witness this because that's exactly what happens.

I have my legs wrapped around Rut's waist, one arm around his shoulders, the other hand is pressed to his chest, and my lips are on his when a throat clears.

"This is absolutely disgusting, and I need to bleach my eyeballs," it's Quinn's voice that says it. I pull away from Rutger in a hurry, unwrapping my legs from his waist and dropping them back into the water, whipping around to face my brothers.

"Well this is awkward," I mutter under my breath.

"You gonna introduce us?" Jack looks incredibly amused, and they all know damn well who the man I was making out with is.

"You're dating Rutger?" Luke speaks before I can say anything to Jack's statement. He stares at me, his jaw might as well be hitting the ground, he looks that shocked.

"Um, yeah," I make my way out of the water, and towards land where they're all standing. Rutger following close behind me.

"And you didn't tell me because?" he trails off on the last word. Jack and Quinn stand there quietly. This has turned into a y/n and Luke conversation only apparently.

"Luke, I love you, but you guys can get so incredibly over-bearing and stick your nose into places it doesn't belong and it can get really annoying, and sometimes I want to be able to do things without having to listen to any of your guys' opinions," I look at Jack and Quinn too when I say it, because they love to stick their nose into my business. "So I just decided that I wouldn't say anything until I absolutely had to," I explain.

"Wait, do mom and dad know?" That's what he chooses to respond with.

"Yeah, I told them a while ago, I asked them not to say anything to any of you," I rub one hand up and down my other arm, not really knowing what else to say and feeling like I put myself in a terribly awkward position.

"Okay," he nods.

"Okay as in you're not mad?" My voice sounds hopeful. Out of all my brothers, Luke and I were the closest, and as much as I liked pissing them off and annoying them, I absolutely hated when he was mad at me. I felt like a sad, kicked puppy when he'd get mad and there would be nothing I could do to fix it right away.

"Nah, if you're happy, then you're right, it's not my place to say anything or be mad," he shrugs his shoulders. He turns to face Rut now. "But, if you do happen to hurt her, she's still my little sister and I don't care if we're friends, I'll kick your ass," he addresses Rut.

"I would expect nothing less," Rut nods at Luke's words.

"Lovely, now that we're done with that little powwow thing," Jack says, and I roll my eyes at him. "We're taking the boat out, are you guys coming?" he asks. I nod in response and follow my brothers out, pulling Rutger along behind me.

"Oh, and I'm begging please don't make out in front of me. I think I've been scarred for life," Luke says as we make our way out onto the lake.

~~~~~~~~~

Sunflowerskies Masterlist

#jack hughes #luke hughes #quinn hughes #rutger mcgroarty #rutger mcgroarty x reader #rutger mcgroarty imagine #umich boys #umich hockey #nhl imagine #rutger mcgroarty x y/n

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beautifulhigh · 8 months

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It just occurred to me that the polo scene doesn't get much love as it should. I know it's very short but just the thirst in Alex’s eyes, the way you can see his mouth dry while watching Henry ride that horse and his oh so sexy smile. I feel like that scene required a major dissection, and no one does it better so I came calling.

You know what? I'm doing this one now. I know I said I would do a meta on Henry Fox and I would do a meta on the New Year's Eve party but this is in my inbox now and yeah, let's talk about the polo scene.

(I'm also doing this now so I don't have another thing on my To Do pile, and your kind words made my shitty day a little better so thank you.)

Short scene, not a short meta.

In the book when he and Henry are in his bedroom, Alex has this little moment of clouds parting, sun beaming, angels chorus revelation:

In an instant of sudden, vivid clarity, he can’t believe he ever thought he was straight.

And while movie!Alex doesn't have the same bi awakening that book!Alex does. this is very much his moment of "oh I am very not straight at all" and that is valid of him.

(As this is a Jen meta, we shall also be talking about everything else because you do not analyse a text in isolation.)

This interview talks about the editing of the polo match:

Nick [Moore], my new editor coming in, took a look and he says, “I wanna try something with that polo match.” He spent a weekend of his own time doing something, and then he was ready to show me. He sat me down and said, “I’ve done something crazy.”

And we went from filmed scripted scenes and a lead in, to "bagpipes intensify" and it works SO well for where these boys are in this new stage of their relationship.

Our establishing shots are of the teams, the horses, the uniforms. This is Henry's world and Alex is about to step into it (which is a reversal of Henry at the NYE party - I swear I will write that meta once I have all the gif posts I want to link to) and it's all quick cuts and sharp transitions and moving shots. The pace has been set for Alex to enter.

We pick him out in the crowd but he's lost as quickly as we spot him. He's one of many here and it's all too quick to stay with him.

Firstly, you will never convince me that he didn't pick the tightest trousers he could find. Henry's comment about him being a mouthful is foreshadowed, right there.

ANYWAY

He walks in, he's looking around, he's doing up his jacket as a form of protection. Alex is the proverbial fish out of the proverbial water (and I have a meta about water if you're interested) and we're straight back in with the quick edits. Horses, polo sticks, this is not a game most people know how to play. Alex certainly doesn't. He's doing up his jacket and he is uncomfortable.

He is not a stranger to a suit, and that is certainly not something that is ill fitting. It is circumstance, not clothing.

And then we get our first clear shot of Henry. Only it's not clear, not at first. He literally comes into focus.

Stick aloft, mouth open, like he's a walking riding metaphor.

And Alex's face changes.

Yeah. He is definitely not straight.

From then on we stay with Henry. We, in Alex's viewpoint, have found him. And so we track Henry through the game and it's just generic horse legs if we're looking at anything else. The only player we/Alex see is Henry.

Here, Henry is leading. Going in first, checking it's clear, knowing Alex will follow him. Henry leads, Alex follows. Into the garden, into the bed, into the sexual component of their relationship. Alex admits to Henry right from the start that this is new to him:

“I’ve, uh,” Alex begins. “I’ve never actually done this before.” “Alex,” Henry says, reaching down to stroke at Alex’s hair, “you don’t have to, I’m—” “No, I want to,” Alex says, tugging at Henry’s waistband. “I just need you to tell me if it’s awful.” Henry is speechless again, looking as if he can’t believe his fucking luck. “Okay. Of course.”

When it comes to being with a man? Henry leads, Alex follows.

And then the pacing and editing kicks off. We intercut to the tempo of the bagpipes between the match and the hook up and Henry is leading the charge on both.

He's in charge and Alex is LOVING it:

Turns out being on the receiving end of Henry’s royal authority is an extreme fucking turn-on.

This is risky and the most dangerous thing they have done so far. Amy walking in on them in the Red Room is one thing - book!Alex is VERY thankful for the staff NDAs when it comes to what they know about him and Henry - but neither of them care here. And Alex is very much letting Henry take the lead and set the pace.

Which, given how long Henry has wanted Alex, wanted this, and how he's not able to live and love (at this point) as openly as Alex is, giving Henry this control means that not only can Alex continue his education in this mlm era of his life, but he's giving Henry all of the freedom he can. God Bless America or something.

We intercut the make out scene with shots of things being hit, the hard slamming of one thing against another, of riders in saddles. The hands may be a metaphor for sex in the Paris scene but we have it here as well.

Alex is fully on board by this point and he's not letting Henry set the full agenda. In his White House bedroom we got the scene of Henry going down on Alex (and there is no way that it was a one-way exchange given how long they were there) so now? It's his turn.

My favourite editing choice?

We then cut to Henry's arse bouncing in that saddle. If the Paris scene is making love? This is them fucking. Henry is bouncing away, riding for all he's worth, chasing down his singular aim with precision and determination.

It's innuendo at its finest.

I love this shot. We're looking up at them - we're just like Alex who is now looking up at Henry due to his new vantage point (#NoLongerTaller) - and we see Alex is fully crowding up into Henry's space. And they are right by the door. There is no cover, no escape. Anyone coming in has fully caught them. Please let there be a PPO or a Secret Service be just outside. Please. For their sanity if not mine.

But even if there isn't for some insane reason, they don't care. They are so lost in each other, so caught up in this moment, that they aren't FSOTUS and the Prince Of Wales. They aren't boys with status and expectations. They're just two consenting adults who are testing the boundaries of what public indecency actually means.

They are really going for it now. Henry's arm is tensed with the effort of keeping Alex close, his hand is splayed on Henry's back to give him contact with more of him. They are not letting go. Diving all in like it's a nod to the Olympic event where they met in the book.

And when they come up for air it's because Alex is... well... about to go diving.

Those fingers make VERY quick work of the belt and what he is doing with his hands and those fingers is further evidence in the "this is them fucking" category.

And then the frame which I'm guessing inspired Cordelia's ask to me:

LOOK AT THAT FACE. Look at those fucking eyelashes. But Alex is wanting and he is wanting hard for Henry. Pun intended. He's got a plan for this, he's got a To Do list for those Very Bad Things he promised/threatened Henry with all those weeks ago.

And it will have been weeks. The State Dinner was around February time based on the texts (end of January at the latest) and then Henry says the polo match is "next month" (which would put it end of February, early March because we would not say 'next month' if it were next week, regardless of when the month starts) and so it's been weeks since they hooked up in Alex's room. Weeks of having to just text and email and maybe venture into video calls.

None of that would compare to being together.

This is the first time that Alex has gotten his hands on Henry since his bedroom and he's desperate to get more than his hands on him.

And this shot as Alex pulls Henry's trousers down is fucking pornographic. Matthew López, did you direct Nick to act like this or was it his choice? Go watch his expression as Alex is pulling the offending clothing out of the way and tell me that this isn't pornographic.

And then we cut to the not-at-all subtle shot of Henry well, making the shot. With ease and power and the ball shooting out of frame. Something something orgasm metaphor something release.

There's even a little wisp as he makes the shot. If this post isn't flagged for mature content I'll be surprised.

Next shot?

Congrats on not getting caught, on the sex, on the most smut-filled-while-almost-fully-clothed-sex scene I've ever had the joy of frame-by-framing through.

Alex is doing up his tie again but he's not uncomfortable. And Henry is so fucking happy I could cry. Because he just hooked up with this guy, in semi-public, and got away with it. They are firmly in Henry's world here, a world where he can't be out and proud, and he got to have something he wanted. And, maybe crucially, no one knows about it. His privacy is intact.

But more importantly, this thing he's got with Alex is something. It's not a one night stand. Alex came here specifically for him, because he asked him to. Because Alex wanted to see him, be with him. This wasn't an obligation, this wasn't something set up by anyone for show and to do damage control. This was for them, and them alone.

Look at these smug bastards. Look at them. Gettin' their rocks off and making puns about being hungry and eating like they didn't just devour each other.

BUT

I gotta bring the feels here 'cause it's me.

Henry attended the State dinner because he was expected to, because that was in place before the New Year's kiss. It was an obligation and in both the movie and the book he had been ghosting Alex. And then Alex grabbed him in the Red Room and they hooked up and at the end of that scene Henry nervously asks Alex if he wants to be his guest at the polo event. Alex doesn't actually say yes - he says he doesn't know how to play polo, there's a comment about it being safer if he's on the sidelines - but leaving aside any fear that he would stand Henry up this is the first time they have made plans with the intention of seeing each other, of being together in this way.

This is, for want of a better term, kinda like a date.

Alex turned up, Henry put out, and they're very much committing to seeing where this path will take them. (Forever. It'll take them to forever.)

Alex isn't straight, Henry is very much in love, and they're embracing that giddy phase of a relationship where you just can't keep your hands off each other. And we fade from this to Paris where they're on another kind of date and then there's another kind of sex scene and it's a speedrun of their relationship on screen like they weren't indulging in foreplay with all the text flirting.

Which, by the way, don't think I didn't notice that Henry's jersey number was 4. Four-play indeed.

(Thanks for this, Cordelia, I needed something like this to soothe my brain.)

#jen answers stuff #i-cordelia #firstprince #alex claremont diaz #henry fox mountchristen windsor #prince henry of wales #red white and royal blue #rwrb movie #firstprince meta #overthinking jen is overthinking #rwrb #otp: history huh #long post

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rocketbirdie · 2 months

Text

Arrrghh. People are finishing up Rebirth and looking up the different localizations, and the inevitable wave of hate for the English version is starting to gain traction again just like with Remake. I guess I just get super defensive about it because I have worked on large translation projects before, and it's not as straightforward as players seem to think.

It's not like the good ol' days of "This Guy Are Sick." They don't write the JPN script first, and then just send it out for translation anymore. Nowadays the different language scripts are all written simultaneously, with the teams working back and forth together, to check over each ofher's work and make sure that no one sentence is under- or overshooting a goal. Like it or not— everything is checked over and approved.

There's a lot more being translated than just words. There's so much to take into account— tone of voice, the cultural context, the lip sync and corresponding length of each line (which isn't allowed to run over by more than 0.2 seconds which is CRAZY). It's a messy process and it's a lot of goddamn work.

And then there's the audience, too. Different languages' audiences are often going to have wildly different interpretations of a character. A really good example from FFVII would be Yuffie. In the JPN version of the OG, Yuffie is written to be a confident girl who's dead serious about her ninja training. The ENG translation didn't do that justice... she instead comes off as a silly annoying kid pretending to be a ninja. Remake's DLC was testing the waters to see if they could write Yuffie in a way that's still faithful to both of the strikingly different regional perceptions of her character. And they nailed it.

The same thing happened with Cloud, and continues to influence the way he's written in the Re-trilogy. It's much more subtle than with Yuffie, but it's still noticeable, and I think it's why a lot of people get up in arms about his dialogue.

Cloud has always been written as having a stark disconnect between his tone of voice and his choice of words. It's just that the two major languages get it swapped! JPN Cloud has a harsh, mean tone, but his choice of words is polite and easygoing. On the other hand, ENG Cloud says a LOT of nasty shit out loud, but his true feelings are betrayed by his soft voice and gentle body language.

The difference goes unnoticed by the average player who isn't so invested to give a damn. But if you're actively searching for "bad translations" to get mad at, then you'll find them where one version's Cloud comes off a bit too strong. It's only natural that English Cloud is the one that pisses people off more often— after all, he's literally saying stupid shit to to piss other characters off constantly. His character is so convincing that players want to reach into their screens and wring his neck, and I think that's glorious.

But that's why it upsets me to see people turn that frustration at the localization teams. They didn't "ruin" a character's dialogue— they were just barely able to make something work, all things considered. Character, line length, culture, story context, facial animations, voice acting, for MULTIPLE languages, like... holy shit. It's a miracle that most of it is really really good, and that the bad is only a little bit bad.

Idk where this rant is going. Just... c'mon people. Have some respect for such an insanely complicated art form.

#look dude. some of the shit cloud says in ENG is awful yes. THAT'S THE POINT THAT'S THE POINT THAT'S THE POINT #it's supposed to be jarring!! it's supposed to make you want to fucking bite his fingers off!!!!!!#it's his shitty asshole coping mechanism and it's The Point Of Everything #the ENG and JPN versions may be different but The Point gets across nonetheless. and that is GOOD.#ugghhh ok just get this outta my system. seeya lol have yourselves a wonderful me gongaga monday tuesday #ffvii

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peachhcs · 2 months

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Could we get kinda what we go from “Sammy how she was really that Will was work it” but in this case how Will was also in a dilema because it’s his best friend and it take him time to understand but he is also willing to sacrifice everything because it’s Sammy his best friend the girl he loves.

the 3 times will's confused about his feelings and the 1 time he isn't

hughes!sister x will smith au (samy + will)

will's pining after his best friend, but is he really willing to risk their entire friendship for a relationship?

5.9k words

woo second longest fic of the series and i'm finally doing a request! guys if this is bad, i'm so sorry. i got a bit carried away and i don't like the ending but that's fine lol i'm still working through my requests but feel free to send more and i'll get to it at some point :) this also isn't proofread so if you see mistakes my bad i will try and proofread this soon lol

au masterlist

ONE

the first time will's heart skipped a beat against his chest when he wasn't drunk enough to play off any of the feelings trying to make their way to the surface was watching samy's senior send off for her last homecoming. there were probably over 30 families in the small drive trying to take photos together along with couples everywhere navigating their way through the crowds. knowing the last homecoming was a big deal for samy, will convinced gabe and ryan to drive down to see her off knowing she'd really appreciate having them there.

the three stood with ellen, jim, and luke in a small corner of the lot watching the youngest hughes pack herself together with all of her friends for pictures. there was something nostalgic about all of it considering the boys didn't get things like this when all of their focus was on hockey most of the time. even if they denied it, they secretly loved getting to be a part of samy's senior year.

gabe and ryan talked mindlessly with luke and while will stood in their small circle, he definitely was not paying attention to what was being said. instead, his eyes lingered on his best friend. she stood some feet away from them immersed in her own conversation filled with laughter and large smiles with no idea that a pair of eyes couldn't leave her no matter how hard they tried.

for the entire day since they got to samy's house, will's eyes kept finding samy even if she wasn't looking at him. he'd be standing with ryan and gabe and his gaze would just drift away from them to samy whenever she was in the same room as them. even when she was just walking by, will's eyes followed every single move.

he didn't get it. it couldn't be because of her curled hair, sparkly dress, and makeup.

he's seen her dressed up so many times over the summers because their parents would drag them out to eat at a fancy restaurant no matter how many times they said they didn't want to. it happed at least twice in the three months they spent together, so will didn't get why he just couldn't peel his eyes off the girl.

there was another reason and one that the blonde hadn't fully come to terms with yet.

her date was this guy she'd been talking to on and off over the summer. will met him once when he stopped by in august to take samy out for their first date. he seemed fine—soccer player, good grades, a swimmer on occasion. nothing special, but not some jerk at least. samy liked him and that was all that mattered.

what no one knew was that will didn't fall asleep that night until he heard the front door closing and soft footsteps padding up the stairs where samy's bedroom door shut seconds later meaning she made it back safely.

the guy clung to samy's side the entire time taking pictures. his arm was wrapped around her waist at nearly every second like he was afraid she'd disappear if he let go. that gesture, seeing him grip samy's waist like that, had will's chest tightening into knots and his heart skipping a beat. something in him popped open—a feeling. an urge.

a jealousy.

as soon as those thoughts mixed into the blonde's consciousness, his face whitened even more than it was. his jealousy quickly faded into confusion then back to jealousy then back to confusion the back to—

"you okay?" gabe's voice broke will's thoughts. he snapped his gaze towards his friend who already looked at him expectantly. ryan and luke raised their eyebrows, but tried not to act like they were staring at him.

will's jaw immediately loosened and the color in his face quickly returned to normal as if the feelings in his chest moments ago were never there in the first place.

"yeah, why?"

gabe paused. he looked at his friend a bit longer before slowly shaking his head. "no reason. you looked lost there," the dark-haired boy shrugged.

"think i'm just tired," will forced a yawn to make it more believable.

he knew gabe was studying him like he didn't quite believe what he was saying. next to samy, gabe probably knew will the best which meant he knew when the entire truth wasn't being told. feeling a bit flustered, will drew his gaze away from gabe, but unfortunately, it led itself right back to samy and her date hanging off her side.

something inside of will was screaming as the warmth in his skin returned and his jaw unknowingly clenched seeing them so close together. the feelings returned along with the battle in his mind between jealousy and confusion.

was that why he couldn't peel his eyes away from her all day? because of her date being at her side at every single second and staring at her in a way that made will's stomach drop not because he didn't like the way her date was looking at her, but because he wanted to be the one looking at her like that—

"will! get over here!" this time samy's voice broke the boy from his racing thoughts.

she found his gaze, a soft smile on her lips motioning him over. his nerves eased and a smile replaced the confusion on his features as he shuffled towards her. ellen already had her camera out as samy's date (finally) dropped from her side and will took his place.

samy, who was as oblivious as ever, tucked her head into the blonde's shoulder while his arm found the same exact place on her waist. her touch shot a fiery sensation through will as he mustered up his best smile for ellen 's phone.

"you guys look adorable. i'll send these to your mom," ellen beamed before ushering gabe and ryan into the photo as well.

ryan grabbed samy's other side while gabe hooked himself onto will's side. the four of them scrunched together with wide smiles, but all will could think about was samy's hip pressing into his own marking just how close they were and the explosion it sent throughout the boy's body.

"so, so cute, i'm so glad you guys drove down," ellen said and finished taking pictures for now.

the three broke apart, but lingered close by as samy grabbed her phone to check her makeup. "i think you've looked at yourself twenty times in the span of fifteen minutes," ryan laughed.

"shut up, leonard," the brunette eyed him.

"i'm just saying. you look fine. stop worrying," the taller boy said in a more softer tone. samy rolled her eyes before her gaze fell on will, seeking confirmation because she knew he'd be honest with her.

will's poor blush got worse under her stare, "don't listen to leno. you look good."

his words made samy grin, "thanks, i trust you. thanks for coming down. it means a lot." she ruffled up some of his curls that surprisingly weren't hidden by a baseball cap for once.

"yeah, of course. wouldn't miss it for the world, hughesy."

her smile had will's heart skipping a beat for a second time and something in him wanted to make her smile like that all the time.

the reality of everything set back in when samy's date returned to her side and started whisking her away as everyone began leaving. the girl rushed out her goodbyes and thank you's before disappearing into a car.

"you guys are more than welcome to hang around the house for the night if you don't wanna drive back. dinner, too," ellen extended her offer to the three boys hanging around still.

"anything made by mama hughes is an automatic yes," ryan grinned making the others laugh.

"i'm flattered. you can follow us back up to the house," the older woman beamed.

later that night after the boys ate as much as they physically could, gabe found will sitting on the back deck looking blankly ahead. the dark-haired boy shuffled his way towards the edge of the deck using his foot to poke will's back, announcing his presence.

"what are you doing out here by yourself?" gabe wondered. the sun hadn't set yet, but the air was growing cooler as october drifted into november and there wasn't much to look at besides a playground and the family pool.

"just..thinking," will answered.

for a moment, gabe wondered if he should keep prodding because he definitely knew what will was thinking about. he saw it when they stood in the lot watching samy take pictures with everyone. he saw it in will's face when him and samy took pictures together.

"about?" the boy sat on the step above the one will was on.

"just stuff," the vagueness had gabe rolling his eyes.

"about samy?"

sure, the guys teased the two all the time about having feelings for one another, but it was never serious. they were always joking and will knew that which was why he could brush their comments off. this time gabe was being serious and they both knew that. will couldn't push his questions or comments off.

the silence from the blonde told gabe everything he needed to know. he saw right through will.

"seeing her with her date..i don't know. i didn't like it. it felt wrong. i-i think i felt jealous? like..like maybe it should've been me instead?" will hardly ever opened up about his feelings, especially regarding samy, but he knew gabe wouldn't stop asking.

"do you know why you felt jealous?" gabe wondered.

the words were on the tip of will's tongue, yet he couldn't bring himself to say it. those words have bounced around in his head since that stupid truth or dare game where samy kissed him in the bathroom. they were there when they were drunk and made out with one another, yet neither of them talked about it after. they were there when samy was the first person he went to after a game.

it was all there, but will couldn't say it.

"no, i don't."

if he said it, it made the feelings real and in will's mind, they couldn't be real. she was his best friend. that was all she'd ever be.

TWO

no one spoke a word in the locker room after coach's harsh lecture. the loss sunk into everyone's skin, especially since it was their first loss of the season and they were supposed to win this game. no one did anything right which was why they gave up three points to the other team. the buzz of adrenaline that usually danced across every guy was replaced with solemn and disappointment. will felt it extra hard after his coach pulled him aside to give him an extra lecture.

he was one of the team's best, the coach's favorite, the team's favorite, yet he let everyone down giving up those three points.

no one dared speaking to one another as everyone slowly drifted out of the locker room once they were showered and redressed. will hardly moved from his stall, though. his head fell into his hands along with a bitter line of frustration towards himself.

he couldn't step out of the locker room with the knowledge his parents were waiting probably disappointed in him and another harsh lecture to follow. the boy couldn't handle that right now. he needed to focus on breathing before he punched something and got into even more trouble.

a small knock caught his attention. will lifted his head fully expecting his dad, but when he saw samy lingering in the doorway, everything about his demeanor shifted.

"oh will," the brunette frowned seeing his state.

she went to him, hands pulling his own away from his hair and wiping the tears will didn't even know was falling down his cheeks. "ryan and gabe said you were in here still," the girl explained her presence.

"we fucking lost," the boy choked out.

"i know. i know. it sucks," she pulled him into her so she could run her fingers through his hair and massage the spots he pulled at in frustration.

something about her soft touch and soothing voice had more tears spilling out of the boy as he buried his face into her chest.

will was by no means a vulnerable person. he had a hard time being emotional with people, but everything with samy was different. he could cry in her arms for however long he wanted knowing she wouldn't ever judge him and let him cry for as long as he needed.

her gentle fingers wound around his curls which was a stark contrast to the way he roughly pulled at them minutes ago. they just sat there on the bench while will attempted to regather himself so he'd stop crying, but samy hardly minded. she hummed some mindless tune and everything about it had will's head spinning.

those feelings he had a few weeks ago were back and a lot stronger than before. jealousy, want, and need mixed themselves together creating a pretty lethal combination building in the boy's chest, but again, he couldn't understand it.

why, why, why, why, why.

"wanna talk about it at all?" samy wondered after some more silence.

will slowly lifted his head up so he could meet her gaze. he probably looked like hell, but if he did, samy didn't any anything.

"i let everyone down. coach is mad at me and i'm sure my parents are gonna give it to me once i go out there," the blonde frowned a bit making samy frown as well.

"you didn't let people down. you played your heart out. tonight just wasn't your night," samy said softly.

"but we lost a game we should've won. everyone was counting on me to prove that i'm good at his and deserve a spot on a d1 college team," will continued.

"this one loss doesn't mean you're not good enough. you are good enough. a bad game isn't a bad career. i think you're good enough."

i think you're good enough. her words tightened will's chest along with the way she stared at him—so loving and so sure of his abilities.

"you're just saying that because you have to," the boy almost scoffed.

"i'm not, i promise. i've always thought you're good enough, will. you lost a game and that sucks, but it's not a bad career. no one hates you because you did your best," her words warmed the hockey player's heart.

she wrapped her arms around his neck for a tight hug. will's own 'arms tightened around her waist and buried his face into the crook of her neck. if someone walked in who didn't know them, they'd definitely think they were dating just based on the way they were wrapped around each other.

will never wanted to let go, but he knew he had to eventually, so he drew back. samy smiled, placing a gentle kiss to the boy's forehead. she's done it before, but right now it meant a lot more to will than before. the gentleness of her lips had the boy wondering what they'd feel like against his own lips when neither of them were drunk to even really remember what happened the next morning.

"you wanna go out there together?" samy wondered.

the blonde nodded. he collected his things and wrapped his arm tightly around samy's shoulders as they finally faced his parents waiting for him. they spotted them a few feet outside of the locker room and will braced himself for the worst.

will's mom saw her son's state—dreary eyes, teary cheeks, messed up hair—and placed a hand on her husband's arm before he said anything he was planning on saying. colleen knew another lecture wasn't what her son needed nor wanted. she saw samy hanging off his arm knowing she probably calmed him down in the locker room and she hated disrupting the peace samy brought to him in whatever way.

instead, colleen stepped forward to collect will into a hug. "you did your best, yeah?" she whispered into his ear. all will did was nod.

"you wanna join us for dinner, samy?" colleen looked over at the girl.

she was about to decline the offer until she met will's gaze that said something like please stay and she couldn't ever say no to him when he looked at her like that.

"yeah, i'd love to. thank you."

with that, the four piled into the car back to the house. as soon as will got situated in the back seat, he reached for samy. the girl laid herself in her arms and for a second, everything felt okay. the feelings racing through his chest eased while those three words crept up further and further up.

after dinner, will dragged samy to his room to watch a movie while trying to avoid his dad's lecture for as long as he possibly could. they didn't even get 20 minutes in until samy was falling asleep against the boy's chest. it was a pretty regular occurrence, especially over the summer, but right now will was terrified to even move because he didn't wanna wake her up.

he found his phone, clicking into gabe's contact and staring at the chat for a moment before typing something. he stared a his message for a moment, debating on sending it.

if he sent it, his feelings became real. could he actually do that? could he actually admit something that's been plaguing his mind for months now?

what if everything went wrong?

before will could even think about sending it, his phone started buzzing in his hands as grace's contact flashed across the screen. he grabbed his airpods just as his sister's face appeared.

"hi will. i heard about your game," the older smith smiled gently.

"it was a shit show," will whispered.

"it looked like you were playing well though?" grace offered, but the boy only shrugged.

"i don't know. i guess?"

"why are you whispering?" grace wondered quickly making her brother's face flush.

he carefully directed his camera down to where samy could be seen sleeping at his side. the look on grace's face was a mix between surprise and a small smirk because she also knew all too well about her brother's feelings even if he didn't say anything.

"so when are you finally gonna ask her out?" grace teased.

"stop," will rolled his eyes.

"what? i'm not sure cuddling in your bed is something just friends do," the older girl stated.

"or drunk makeouts?" will muttered that part, but grace heard him nonetheless.

"drunk what?" she sounded nearly flabbergasted.

"never mind," the boy shook his head.

"seriously, will. you obviously like her. what other reason is there for feeling jealous of her homecoming date?"

grace stumped him with that one. will's gaze drifted down to the girl still sleeping peacefully beside him. his fingers found a place in her hair and gently wrapped it around his fingers like she had done for him. the blood roared in his ears along with a feeling of warmth spreading all across his chest watching samy sleep so soundly at his side like nothing else mattered.

"what if i'm scared?" will finally said.

"scared? of what?" grace grew confused.

"if i admit how i feel, it makes it real and i'm scared of making it real. she's my best friend, grace. i'm not supposed to feel this way," the blonde's admission had grace's expression softening.

"i think that's all the more reason to feel this way. the most unexpected feelings come from the most unexpected people, will. i doubt she doesn't feel the same way too."

when the siblings ended their call, will went back to him and gabe's chat feeling a bit more sure than he did before grace called. his message still sat in the box waiting to be sent. with one final look at samy, will hit send and he knew everything after this was gonna be as real as it could get.

from will i think i like samy

THREE

a loud buzzing pulled will from his sleep. the boy jolted, bleary eyes trying to adjust to the dark and find the source of the incredibly obnoxious buzzing. his eyes flicked around his room until his phone screen lit up and he finally realized someone was trying to call him.

he grabbed his phone, not even hesitating as he lifted it to his ear and sounds of a party came through on the other end.

"hello?" will rasped out, sleep laced deep in his voice.

"w-will? hey!" marcie's voice came through. the boy raised his eyebrow trying to remember if he ever gave marcie his phone number.

he pulled the phone away to read the screen, but nothing answered his confusion seeing samy's name on the screen. "marcie?" the boy mumbled.

"hi, hey. yes. sorry. i'm sorry for calling so late..i..jesus.." she stumbled over her words and for some reason, that woke will up more when he heard the slight slur in her tone and her fast talking.

"are you okay?" the boy sat up in his bed.

"yes. maybe. so..we're at this party..we're like..30? maybe? minutes from you? samy drank a little too much..and i-i didn't know who else to call? her brothers would've definitely killed her and..and you were like the first person on her emergency contact list. i know it's late..but like..could you come down? please?"

marcie didn't even have to ask twice as will jumped out of bed and got himself dressed as quickly as possible.

"i'm on my way. can you send me your location?" he was out the front door a second later with keys in hand to his car.

"yes, i did. don't freak out, she'll be fine i just..i have no idea where to take her," marcie explained.

"i'll be there as quickly as possible, okay? just keep her awake and make her drink water," will rushed and the two said goodbye after that.

about 100 thoughts ran through will's head all at once as he definitely went over the speed limit. something in him paled at the idea of samy at a party getting too drunk that she couldn't make decisions for herself. he wondered why she didn't invite him? or why she was drinking that much in the first place?

"just breathe, will," the boy muttered to himself before he gave himself a panic attack.

he made it the house in record time probably going the fastest he's ever gone in a car to cut the trip down. marcie and samy were on the front lawn where will rushed to them as soon as the car slid into park.

"hey, you okay?" he hugged marcie first.

"yeah, i'm fine. i'm sorry again. it's so late and i..i don't know why i didn't..i'm sorry," the girl became flustered and embarrassed she even let her friend get so drunk.

"don't apologize. it's not your fault. has she been drinking water?" will gazed down at the brunette on the ground.

"yeah, i've been giving her a little bit."

samy's eyes gazed up at will while a hint of recognition flashed through them before she literally jumped into his arms.

"willie! hey! what are you doing here?" the girl exclaimed as she practically clung onto him.

"came to get you. you doing okay?" will pulled his gaze down to hers.

"mhm, yeah. perfecttt," she dragged out the t.

"i'm glad you're perfect. wanna get in the car?" samy gave him a half nod as him and marcie helped the girl into the back seat. she practically collapsed onto the entire back row with small fits of giggles leaving her lips.

marcie and will got back into the front. the first five or so minutes of the drive became filled with silence besides the soft hum of the radio and samy's quiet mumbling to herself. will glanced at her through the rearview mirror every five seconds probably—worry etched into his features and the hundred thoughts racing through his mind again.

"i'm sorry again. i don't know why she got so drunk," marcie broke the silence, her voice small.

"don't apologize. it's not your fault," will said. his words didn't convince the girl because she just shook her head.

"i don't really know the details but i think her and kevin stopped talking. she was briefly talking about it with me the other day and then she proposed going to that party i think to get over him.." marcie's voice faded off into the deafening silence in the car.

kevin was samy's newest guy—the same one she went to homecoming with. they had been talking for quite a long time with an implication of a relationship soon, so will wondered where it went wrong.

"i don't know if i should be telling you this either, but samy started rambling on about you. it was broken sentences, but she kept saying how it's been you all along, even kevin knew. something like that," the girl's words tightened the blonde's chest into the familiar knots he's become acquainted with over the past few months.

"oh."

"i mean come on, will. you guys are so obvious yet so oblivious at the same time. why else do you think she kisses you in the bathroom?" there was something about driving down backroads at almost three in the morning that brought out the most vulnerable in people.

"i-i don't think that really counts. she's drunk. i'm drunk," will swallowed nervously, his eyes glancing up at samy again.

"well, yeah, but aren't drunk words, drunk actions sober thoughts? you're always the one she goes to by the end of the night," the two met each other's gazes. marcie had a pointed look on her expression that will tried not to read into too much.

"i don't know. it still doesn't feel genuine though?"

"what about the time you guys kissed sober during that truth or dare?" that was the only time him and samy were sober and kissing. will thought about that moment a lot.

another silence filled between them. the boy's glance landed on samy who was close to sleep and everything marcie just said replayed over and over in his mind. there was a tug at his heart thinking about samy having him as her first emergency contact and another tug at the smallest idea that she might actually like him back.

"you like her, right?" marcie spoke again. will's gazed flick over to hers momentarily.

"yeah," the boy whispered knowing samy was too out of it to understand what they were talking about.

"i know your scared about ruining everything with her if you did date, but i know you guys care a lot about each other to ever think about hurting one another. when i first met you last year i immediately saw your relationship. i saw the way you looked at her and the way she looked at you. i don't think i've ever seen a guy care that much about her before and that's coming from someone who's been her friend since middle school. you mean a lot to her, will. like a lot," marcie rambled on, but her words had a deep blush spreading across the boy's cheeks.

will led marcie to the guest room while he sat samy down on the couch. he wanted to sober her up before he let her go to bed knowing she'd have a killer hangover in the morning and he feared she'd throw up in her sleep.

"thanks for calling me, mar. i'll make sure she'll be okay," will said before the girl went to bed.

a soft smile appeared on her lips, "i know you will. thanks for coming and getting us. i hope your parents won't hate you."

"they won't. i'll explain everything and make sure you guys won't get in trouble," the two exchanged warm smiles.

will returned his attention to the girl on the couch. he grabbed water, a snack, and tylenol in hopes that it will sober her up some more. samy gazed up at him as he came back into the living room, a smile on her lips.

"aww, you're so sweet willie. i love cheez-its," the brunette hummed.

"i know you do," the boy chuckled. he poured a few into a bowl, not wanting samy to overeat and make herself sick.

"you should've been at the party. it was sooo much fun," the girl gushed.

"it looks like you had fun."

"i dumped kevin," her bluntness caught will of guard. he's never been around her when she was this drunk and was quickly learning that samy said anything on her mind.

"i heard," the boy hummed.

"i didn't really like him that much anyway. he kept arguing with me about stupid stuff. he thinks you like me! isn't that hilarious?" soft laughter tumbled from the girl's lips, but will wasn't laughing. the only thing he could hear was his pounding heart beating a bruise against his chest.

"i started thinking about it a lot, actually. maybe it's part of the reason why i broke up with him. i don't really know. dating your best friend? that seems scary to me," she kept rambling and will had no idea what to say.

he wanted to confess everything to her, but he knew she definitely wouldn't remember any of this in the morning, so how true was it really? it brought will back to all of the times they woke up the morning after drunkenly making out, but samy never said anything about it. they just acted like nothing happened.

"yeah, it does seem scary," the blonde managed.

"i mean would you date me? i'm saying all of this and i don't even know if you like me," the girl laughed again.

will's heart clenched, biting his tongue to keep from saying anything, "how are you feeling? it's getting late. maybe you should try and sleep?"

"you're right. i'm exhausted and i'm gonna feel like shit in the morning," samy mumbled.

"is sleeping in grace's room okay?" will collected her things, extending his hand out to help her up the stairs.

"mhmm, sounds perfect."

the two tiptoed up the stairs to the older smith's bedroom. will helped take samy's shoes off and he attempted to wipe some of her makeup off before laying her down. the girl smiled lazily at him.

"thanks for taking care of me, willie. you mean a lot to me."

"of course. i'll see you in the morning," the blonde returned her smile, but as soon as he faced away from her, it faded.

once the bedroom door was shut, will leaned himself against it to just recollect himself with the ache in his heart that samy wouldn't remember anything about tonight. hell, marcie's words were probably just drunk rambling.

THE 1 TIME

goosebumps ran up will's skin when a delicate hand ran across his arm, pulling the blonde from the book he was reading. he lifted his head, a soft smile appearing on his lips seeing samy peering down at him. "hi," will said.

"hi, pretty boy," samy returned his soft smile with one her own. hearing that pet name roll off her tongue directed at him was something will would never get used to. even though they've only been together for a month, he'd nevr get tired of hearing it.

"what's up?" the blonde wondered as he reached his hand up to run across samy's skin.

"just wanted to come say hi. you looked so cozy up here," the girl giggled.

"wanna sit?" will offered the tiny space next to him. samy swung her legs over, basically landing in his lap because the seat was definitely not made for two people—or a 6'0 hockey player and his girlfriend.

"how was golfing with jack, quinn, and luke?" the guys went out early to get a game in and samy did not like golf that much to get up as early as they did.

"it was fun. i think luke killed all of us, but i think gabe and ryan had fun," the blonde laughed. he caught sight of his teammates down in the yard trying to play volleyball.

"i swear, my brothers' profession would be golfing if it weren't for hockey," the girl giggled which was like music to will's ears.

"you should come next time. i think you could definitely beat luke," will lovingly squeezed part of her leg that rested atop his lap.

"are you just saying that because you want to see me in a skirt?" samy teased a bit which caused will to blush a deep crimson all the way to the tips of his ears.

"shut up. that's not what i was implying," he playfully rolled his eyes.

"i know, i'm just kidding. my brothers are way better at golf than i am, so i definitely could not beat any of them."

a comfortable silence settled between the couple. will's gaze lingered on samy who glanced at her phone, so she missed her boyfriend's loving stare until she looked back up and flushed when he was already looking at her.

"when do you leave for boston?" she changed the subject for now.

"august 12th," will answered with a hint of sadness laced in his voice. the idea of leaving hurt will a lot more than he thought it would. especially after finally getting the girl.

sure, he'd have all of his teammates following him, but the one person he wanted to always be around wasn't coming.

"three weeks away?" samy wondered and the boy nodded.

"i can't believe it's already here," will mumbled earning a tiny frown from the brunette.

"you're gonna do so awesome at boston, will. i'm really proud of you."

samy shifted so she could wrap her arms around his neck. he buried his face into the crook her neck, placing soft kisses against her skin. "i wish you were coming with me," he mumbled.

"me too. i wish we got our act together and got together a lot sooner. maybe if i wasn't so afraid of my feelings and kept pushing them away," samy rolled her eyes, but will pulled back. he raised his eyebrow in confusion.

"wait, how long have you known about your feelings?"

samy's face flushed, "well..i kept pushing them away every time we drunkenly made out at parties. i don't know. prom i knew i had feelings, but i was scared and stupid."

"so you did remember the next morning after the party," will chuckled in mostly amusement.

"uh, yeah. i did. i never said anything because i just..i don't know. i didn't know how you felt. i didn't wanna make it weird and we had a thing going," she shrugged a bit.

"it wasn't obvious to you how i felt after?" will smiled a bit with a small tilt of his head.

"looking back, yeah it was obvious. i was stupid," the girl flushed again.

all will could do was laugh and pull samy closer to his chest where he never wanted to let go. everything they went through was worth it in the end to finally have the girl will's always had feelings for. for once in life, he was finally sure about something besides hockey.

hockey's been a constant and he was too dumb to realize he had another one right in front of his face all along.

as the hot summer sun danced between the clouds, will had everything he could ever need. samy laid against his chest and what was better than having his favorite girl beside him all the time now? he truly couldn't ask for anything more.

#hughes!sister x will smith au #will smith hockey #samy x will #boston college #boston college hockey #samy hughes #umich hockey #will smith imagine #will smith x oc #uofmichigan #will smith fluff #will smith hockey fluff #bc hockey #gabe perreault #ryan leonard #luke hughes

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thedomesticanthropologist · 8 months

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In one of my playthroughs, my Tav is having a TIME with Astarion, and it's a version of his romance I don't see represented online as much and I want to talk about it.

If you choose more lightweight dialogue options, if you don't dig into his mind at the bite scene, if you get his Araj confession instead of his impromptu one,

Then by the end of Act 2, you do *not* have a secure relationship AT ALL, he has never said he's in love, and everything feels REALLY rocky.

All through act 1 he lays on the seduction heavily, but in act 2 a bitch is MAD. He is stressed, he needs to figure out his scars, he feels hunted and un-safe and because of this, he starts to take it out on Tav a bit.

SPOILERS FOR ACT 2:

when Raphael shows up to talk to him, he snaps at Tav saying "don't get in my way". When you do his quest and kill the orthon, you have to PRY a thank you from him by literally telling him to parrot your words ('thank you for helping me, it was very... Kind') and he spits it out like he really, really wasnt intending to say anything in the form of gratitude.

When you talk about what to do about Cazador, my Paladin chose 'youll never be free while he lives' because it's true. If he runs, cazador will hunt him. If cazador lives, he will never stop looking over his shoulder. His reply 'i hate that you're right'

Even when you say you'll join him to hunt his master down, you can watch his facial expressions and see: he's not convinced. Of course he isn't. He's terrified. And is he grateful? Yes, but again, it's guarded.

I then went to moonrise and talked to Araj, and I defended his autonomy 100%.

When his Araj-confession happened, it was absolutely NOT a LOVE confession. It was more like:

"thank you. This made me realize I was still acting like a slave even in freedom, and you supporting me there made me feel like I can start to snap out of that kind set. Sooooo... I should tell you, since you did me a solid, that I was using you for protection and manipulating you up until now"

If you DONT choose the top options, the MOST he tells you about how he feels about you is a single line of dialogue

'imagine my surprise when I started to actually feel... SOMETHING... For you'

This could be friendship, crush feels, etc. It's VERY vague, and important things to note is while WE THE PLAYER know more about him and what he may feel at this point or what he's gone through, YOUR TAV DOESNT.

He does not apologize for using you. He states his regret that his plan failed because he started to value you as a person instead of a tool for him to be used. That admission is his gift back to you for defending him in front of Araj.

If you then choose 'what do YOU want' he approves, but says he doesn't know. And then he defends that 'isnt it nice not to know?' You still get soft faces, your hand held. He's trying to *silently* communicate what he can't bring himself to say, but he *DOESNT* SAY anything to affirm you two are a couple/in a relationship/etc. Just a vague 'lets not talk about it but see where it goes'

Honestly, based on this experience via dialogue choices for this character, it almost seemed to me like "sounds like you need a friend not a lover" makes the MOST SENSE. Of course this is my Astarion Romance run, so my Paladin instead said, basically, I'll wait for you until you're ready. (She chose the 'what do you want,' and let it lay there as is)

Afterwards you can ask about your relationship with him and again, he's flustered, he's hedging, he's defensive, and he brushes it off. He's not ready to talk, he's not ready to commit, he's fully focused on Cazador and his safety.

You enter this waiting period where Tav has been manipulated, spoken down to, snapped at, bitten, and responded to without gratitude, but is ALSO given just the faintest, BAREST glimpse at the vulnerability beneath the surface. The player is being asked at this point to REALLY trust and WAIT without ANY evidence that this relationship could become healthy, or could turn into love, or could because a real relationship. And that's SO NEAT

If you don't romance anyone else and aren't put into the position to choose him, you never get a confirmation of dating. If you get the Araj scene and don't choose hug, and don't force him to confirm he was attracted to you etc, you can literally end the talk on "thanks for defending me, also haha I was using you this whole time just so you know, thanks for being nice about it"

From a Tav point of view, this *could* be fairly devastating, and even if Tav decides to wait and keep supporting him, at this point, even post "confession" there is VERY little evidence that things are gonna get better between you.

We know it does. WE do. We get the access to other dialogue and choices or the other confession IF we chose that. But this, this scene, these dialogue choices REALLY emphasize his Act 3 confession

"you were patient. You waited, through blood lust etc /even when it was an objectively stupid thing to do etc"

Cause yeah. He's RIGHT. If you don't choose VERY specific dialogues to get more out of him, most of his romance up until the Act 3 confession,most of how he treats you, most of how he responds to your decisions in game (if you're playing fairly good and not evil/durge) gives Tav no reason beyond faith to continue to pursue him.

I think he knows this, and it's why he's surprised when you state you don't want him for sex. Because up until Act 3, he KNOWS how he's been treating Tav and even HE wouldn't have stood for it if the roles were reversed, so h thinks 'it must be because I'm good in bed'. Then he takes the sex away and you still stay? Even when he's chasing power, hunting for revenge, snapping at you, refusing to commit?

It's a powerful story line. It's so engaging. And it has room for SO MUCH ANGST

Anyways thanks for coming to my Ted Talk

#baldurs gate astarion #astarion bg3 #astarion ancunin #astarion romance #baldurs gate 3 #bg3 oc #bg3 tav #astarion x tav

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yan-lorkai · 6 months

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Imagine yandere Lucifer punishing his darling but instead of spells or line writing he goes for the silent treatment or just leaving them in a dark and enclosed space so and now there darling is getting flashbacks on how they were punished as a child and is begging him not to leave them

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ Warnings: Yandere content, guilt tripping, child abuse, panic attack + comfort for the said panic attack, toxic relationship, probly some typos (❁´◡`❁)

You can still hear them, your parents screaming, their voices reverberating off the walls until everything goes silent. It is common for fights of this type to occur now; your father tries to protect you from your mother's extreme punishments, but he can never convince her to tell him where the basement keys are hidden.

Your father, blessed be his heart. He's was not good at defusing tension, throwing insults and punching things, and using a tone of voice so angry that it makes you shake and hold back crying.

Your childhood was like this, silent, ignored and sad, you often observed the world from behind the door lock. You could hear very faintly the news on television, you heard songs that your mother sang in an arithmic and out of tune tone, she gossiping with her friends, and above all you imagined a different life. A different world, with someone who loved you, with someone who protected you.

Things got even worse after your father's death, but you never told Lucifer these details. It wasn't a pleasant conversation to have, even though you trusted him a lot and you knew he would calmly comfort you and ease your fears, there was still distrust and pain present in your heart. You used to imagine a pink, pretty and glamorous love, and really Lucifer was all of that. But he had an additional danger lurking in the darkness of his heart, in his sharp-toothed smile and in his hands with huge claws that encircled your waist.

He was a demon and like all demons, the Morningstar loved possessively, a love so suffocating that it stole your entire essence. But you didn't care, you didn't know better and you let him take whatever he wanted from you without thinking twice. Lucifer was an extremely sweet and soft boyfriend most of the time, but he also was incredibly methodical.

Stopping to think now you don't know if he ever really loved you or the idea of you. The idea of a human lover who was strong and survived the seven lords of hell, the idea of a lover who was kind and funny and so fragile he could rip you in half with a single punch. Maybe that was why Lucifer loved having you on his lap so much, resting his face on your neck while he worked, he needed something weak to feel strong.

Just like your mother needed you to blackmail your father. The strong overcoming the weak, hunter and prey. And once again there was nowhere for you to run or anyone to help you.

The problem with ideas is that they are fragile, they break easily. Today instead of you coming to spend your time with Lucifer like you always did, you preferred to spend time with Simeon and Luke. They were your friends, it was only natural. But apparently it wasn't something that pleased Lucifer, he didn't like it one bit and he let you know this with the severe expression attached on his face.

"I will give you a chance to redeem yourself," ruby eyes staring into yours as if he withheld all the truth in the world and you were the most lying human he had ever seen. As if you were a flower that he needed to cleanse of the weeds that corrupted you. "Apologize if you will."

There was something different about him as soon as you found him. The soft sound of piano coming from his record player as the open windows let the air in and the dark atmosphere sink into your bones, a shiver went down your spine just like it did when you witnessed Lucifer punishing one of his brothers.

A bitter taste spreading in your mouth as you watched him cross his arms and smile. But it wasn't the same smile he gave you as soon as you got a good grade on your test or right after you two woke up. That smile was one of fascination every time he whipped Mammon or killed a demon, dark, sly smile that made a knot curl in your throat and tears of fear come to your eyes. A dark smile.

You remembered your father's voice. You remembered the slaps you received from your mother and your little world in the basement. You trembled, not knowing how to respond or act, only being able to count how many times Lucifer sighed or the number of times his feet made contact with the floor. The silence stretched until it seemed obscene. And the Morning Star had reached the end of his patience, disappointed in your silence and angry at being your second choice.

He crossed his office with slow steps, his expression now more neutral, Lucifer held your face between his hands tightly, his nails bruising your skin. You waited for anything, screams, attacks, except Lucifer touching his forehead to yours and looking into your eyes as if you were a dumb little thing. There was tenderness and there was fear, and there was a little of everything, your heart beating confusedly inside your chest as you drown on your own feelings.

"My sweet, naive summer child, you don't know what you did, do you?" He uses that condescending tone that almost makes you roll your eyes, but you don't, realizing that you're already in trouble and you don't want to irritate him even more. "Lovers are always each other's first priority, MC. Ever."

Your eyes widened as Lucifer freed your face from his hands and turned onto his back. "Wasn't I good enough for you, Mc? Have I not cared for and loved you always, as a good lover would? So why am I not your first priority like you are mine?"

Oh. You had hurt him. Oh my, you had hurt him.

You denied, pulling his arm so he turned to face you again. "No, no, I love you very much, Luci, I don't have eyes for anyone but you and I'm sorry if I made you doubt my feelings."

But he remained standing with his back to you, thinking, Lucifer was unpredictable when he was hurt, he was angry in his actions and vengeful in his words, and when he was quiet like this you always felt a little apprehensive. He walked away without saying anything in return, back to his paperwork, as if you weren't even there.

Was he ignoring you? You decided to move closer to him, guilt pounding in your chest as you sat down in the chair he always kept next to his. The same chair you left empty today while you were having fun with the angels, not thinking about how lonely he must be feeling being alone all day.

Were you really so wrong about spending time with your friends? Several minutes passed in silence, broken only by the sound of a pen dragging over paper and your breathing. It was so uncomfortable, the silence, you turned to see the closed expression that had closed on Morningstar's beautiful face, eyebrows twisted, lips set, he wasn't happy at all.

"Lucifer, can we talk?" You asked.

Lucifer, however, remained silent, not giving in to your words. He hummed his favorite song as he read and signed documents, smoothing his bangs as they fell in his eyes. In other times he would be reading to you out loud as you had confided in him that you loved listening to him speak, you would pull your chair closer and lay your head on his shoulder. You hated the silence.

In the silence you remembered the days spent in the basement, the sleepless nights and the shadows that crept from the walls to you, close to touching you before disappearing. And then the cycle repeated itself, your parents screamed, you listened the news and the gossips, night came and the shadows return, tauting you, mocking you.

You looked down, feeling the depth of the wound you had caused. The silence persisted, heavy, as you remained distant from each other, trapped in a moment of disagreement and hurt. The tightness in your heart became unbearable, suddenly you were back in your small basement room, the light fading, the cold crackling over your skin.

You looked down, your feet chained to the walls again while roachs and rats runned past you. And Lucifer... Lucifer had abandoned you because you ruined everything. Your body tightened, you took one, two breaths until you realized that the oxygen was not able to reach your lungs.

'He hates you.' An annoying voice screamed in your mind, making you flinch on your seat. 'He's going to break with you. He's going to leave you alone again.'

'If even your parents couldn't love, why he should?"

'Undeserving and ungrateful, good for nothing human.'

Too much noise. Too much silence. Too much everything. Invisible hands started to climb up your body, leaving you trembling and gasping for air.

Everything is crashing down on your already overwhelmed mind. You were stumbling in the darkness, without a light in sight, no end in the horizon. No switch to flick the light on, no Bringer of light in sight. Trapped forever here, alone. You clutched onto your chest with weak fingers. Your lungs were rising and falling at a far rapid pace, one you couldn’t gain control of. Everything was burning. What was this?

A panic attack? A heart attack?

A pair of hands found their place on your shoulders, nails digging straight into your skin, burning, scratching. You felt lightheaded, a thin line of sweat bathing starting to run down your neck as you tried to breath. Your eyes were open but you saw only darkness in front of you, you could breath only darkess, for it was only you and darkness that existed right here and right now.

The only good thing on your life was your relationship and you destroyed it so easily, so mindlessly.

There, in the darkness you could see your mom's face wearing a twisted smile. You struggled against your shackles backing away from her at every step she took on your direction, red painted nails trying to reach you, trying to harm you again as she always did.

“Breathe in, darling.” Lucifer’s voice cut through the panic, voice sounding too angelic for a demon like him. “Look at me, darling, I'II help you.”

You still looked at her, smile on her lips, eyes wild with angry. You whimpered, trying to put some more distance between you two.

She disapperead as soon as Lucifer placed your hand on his chest, freeing you from her mirage. “Slowly breath in!” You followed your lover's instructions, breathing through the nose at the same time as him. If anyone could save you from the darkness and the pain now, it was him. “And out- keeping going, darling, just like that.”

There was urgency in his voice you realized. But why? Why would he care when he hated you? The voices on your head had lied to you? But he also had leaved you alone - though you did the same to him just earlier, it's true.

“Breath in-” Light. It was you how would describe him, black as coal hair being lightned by a broken halo. He held onto you so softly, wiping the thick tears that you haven't even realized that were falling. You could see that he was confuse, scared even, since not even Mammon behaved like this after or during a punishment. "Everything's ok?"

The cat seemed to have caught your tongue, your head lolling forward as your entire body collapsed into his chest. Tired, that's how you felt, tired of the pain, tired of the darkness and having to remember that person.

That person who should love and protect you. That person that made your life a living hell just because she could, because it was fun, the same person whose house you would return after the exchange program.

Sobs erupted from your chest, trembling again in Lucifer's arms but from a different reason now. From exhaustion, from fear. Your arms circling his torso with enought stregth to knock him up if he was a puny and weak human. But he was not. He was not, if he was cruel like her then he would be laughing now, he would bellitle you.

He was not cruel. And he couldn't know that ignoring you would trigger such reaction. It was all your fault.

You looked at him, brows furrowed, apprehension on his eyes as he hold you, hands rubbing your sides and back. Lucifer was nothing like her, would never be like her even in a million years.

"I'm sorry." You whispered unable to formulate a better apologize. "Don't hate me, please."

Please, don't leave me. Please don't take the light away. Just please stay, you wanted to scream, want to let him know what happened. But couldn't, eyes blurry with fresh new tears, lips trembling, and Lucifer held you gently. He knew you couldn't talk right now, could see in your eyes that you were unable right now with panic and fear swimming in them - any and all reasons for your sudden outburst forgotten while he comforted you so gently.

The awful silence was replaced by your lover's loud little kisses that he peppered your face with. "It's ok, love, I've got you."

IBut you were right, he was nothing like your mother. In fact, he was worse and he recorded this entire event on his mind, replaying it, trying to find a reason why you reacted that way.

With time he could use this to shape you, could train you to never leave him, to never look at anyone else, to not even thinking any dumb throughts. He smiled, bringing you much closer than before, there on the floor, for you have fallen without realizing, hugging him, you felt safe again, felt loved, if only you realized that his love was toxic and suffocating... But it's too late now.

#yandere obey me #obey me #yandere lucifer #yandere lucifer x mc #yandere lucifer x reader #lucifer x mc #lucifer x reader #obey me lucifer #lucifer avatar of pride #lorkai drabble

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