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sparky-is-spiders · 10 months

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Tell me ur jon/jonah thoughts

I'm afraid that, while I have many Jonjonah thoughts, they're mostly incoherent snippets of ideas floating around in The Brain Soup. There's a couple varieties, mostly of my brain going "But what if..." -insert idea here- and then refusing to elaborate further.

Personally I'm very fond of AUs where Jon is also a regency man with an interest in the supernatural and they have a corruption arc together. I think they should go around London investigating statements and rumors of supernatural happenings. I like the idea that they were the only people doing research for the institute while it was still getting off the ground, and a lot of their correspondence and journals and papers would've been preserved (although most would be inaccessible/unknown to institute employees). Not sure how Jon would be surviving through the centuries though. Equally enchanted by the idea of him bodyhopping the way Jonah did, just being immortal as the Archivist, and hiding under the tunnels as a weird fucked up monster (I very much love monster Jon).

I've also seen a few AUs where Jonah finds Jon hanging out under Alexandria or something and bringing him back to London to be his Archivist (and maybe also help end the world a little bit). Everyone else is baffled and horrified but Jonah is smitten.

I am also weak to time-travel and/or universe-hopping shenanigans, either post s4 where Jon has to reckon with the Jonah he knew vs the (past? present?) version of Jonah. I think the most fleshed out (read: could be described in more than two sentences) idea I have for this would rely on a rewrite of s5 (at least the ending). I saw a couple posts about TMA ending with Jon trying to go through with his plan only for Martin to decide to kill him (rather than Jon volunteering to die in the hopes they'll end up somewhere else). Between those posts, a handful of "post-s5 Jon ends up in Jonah's time" AUs I've seen kicking around (mostly @/Paptato's "A Game of Cat and Mouse" and @/sm0kebreaks' "My Dear Jonah"), and my desire to see Jon succeed with his plan and kill the fears, my brain came up with the idea "what if Jon tried to get Jonah to do an apocalypse so he can kill the fears for good?" (Note: I often struggle to grasp what would and wouldn't be in character for characters that aren't mine, and this AU in particular may come across as somewhat (or very) OOC for Jon). It's mostly predicated on the idea that, having been betrayed by his friends and his partner for their own selfish ends, Jon came to the conclusion that the fears had to be stopped, and he was quite possibly the only person who both could and would, and wiping out humanity through a fearpocalypse would be the best way to destroy them for good. Thus he enlists Jonah's help in his armageddon quest (conveniently leaving out the part where Jonah would not actually live forever). From here the details get sort of fuzzy (is Jonah the archivist now? is it the Sims Institute?). Mostly I like to imagine them alone in the panopticon, watching the fears wither and starve, waiting for the end. Of course, I'm really not sure Jon would ever do... any of that? Maybe if his corruption arc went further, but I'm not sure the Jon we're given would willingly pursue the end of the world, especially after already being used to end it once. Also not convinced that he'd be very good at the subtle manipulation that would be required. However, I am still somewhat enamored by the concept of Jonah meeting stranger who clearly isn't quite human (possibly helping him recover from hopping realities?), enamored and intrigued by this mysterious person who promises eternal safety for Jonah if only he would help them. I think Jon might come to genuinely love and see some of himself in Jonah, but not enough to change anything. Honestly obsessed with relationships where there's this deep, intimate understanding between two characters, who are mostly on their own/disconnected from the other people around them, but there's still this yawning distance between them that they can't ever quite cross, and I think this specific AU could play into that really well.

#I'm afraid most of my thoughts about jonships are actually only about Jon #and also my ability to write romance is stunted #also I haven't listened to TMA in a while #and am very unsure of my ability to write about characters that aren't mine #(unlike my Wretched Lizards I cannot simply make up new lore/personality traits for Jon every time I get a shiny new idea)#I'm generally better/more comfortable with AUs than with meta/analysis #(again my bastard lizards are an exception to this rule)#but yeah usually what happens is. My brain latches onto an idea. I become too obsessed to stop thinking about the idea but not confident #enough in my understanding of the characters to go much further than the premise and a handful of short scenes #and so I just have a bunch of general ideas floating around in the Soup. (this is what happened to my favorite jon crackship #(jon x og!elias) an idea that came from nothing and makes no sense but is almost constantly in my thoughts)#but yeah anyway. Fond of Jonjonah #I've got a couple of fic recs if anyone's looking for them (but do keep in mind that I am Not discerning and will basically read anything #with those two with very few exceptions)#but yeah anyways. Thank you for the ask!!!!#also sorry it took me a bit to answer #needed to get my thoughts in order because otherwise I would've only been able to respond with garbled screeching noises

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scuopsie · 3 months

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I was tagged by @niteview to post my comfort movies & tv shows!! hi lissa <3333 thank you so much for tagging me!!! i LOVE this!!!!

Movies:

me: *holding my old cartoon dvds and crying* ALL OF THEM

(in no particular order)

1- Howl's Moving Castle

2- Captain America: The Winter Soldier

3- Avengers Endgame

4- A Simple Favor

5- Crazy Rich Asians

Bonus: The Phantom Of The Opera (havent watched it in a hot minute but i would not be the woman i am today (weirdo) without this movie)

TV Shows:

(in order)

1- Bones

2- Suits

3- The Originals

4- Children Of Nobody (also known as Red Sun Blue Moon) (kdramas count right?)

5- The Witcher (specifically season 2)

Bonus: The Time Traveler's Wife (2022)

Tagging: @uh0paque @joosgf @starlightfantasy @haechannabelle @biboramp3 @nunutual (i wanted tag my new svt moots too but im shy🫣💕)only if you guys want to!!!!!

#i could honestly list 20 movies.... like most of the classic barbie movies. a lot of older disney movies...#some 2010s teen comedies like Wild Child and Saint Trinians... i love these two...#my top comfort movies used to be La La Land and The Fault in our stars for years sdjlsdjf i had an emo phase #for tv shows id say mostly the first 3... like ive watched bones and suits a BILLION TIMES START TO FINISH #i debated putting spn in there but i only rewatched it completely once. it was a comfort show when it was ongoing but i didn't care->#-> that much after it finished #there are also a couple of new shows i really like but i didn't put them there bc idk if theyre gonna become comfort shows but #i really loved watching Only murders in the building :((((( cant wait for next season #also Blue eye samurai... literally has been living in my head rent free since i binged it like a week ago or so #im lowkey embarrassed abt the bonus show but... yeah. i know the concept is super weird but... theo james <3 #i swear me having only 2 white actor crushes who are both british IS A COINCIDENT (the other is henry cavil (mostly as geralt))#no one believes me...#anyway. i will shut up now <3 #tag game #mentions

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neverendingford · 6 months

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#so I have officially been to a club/bar now #tag talk #it was a country bar which was actually cool cause they played like. actual old country none of the post-9/11 shit #except everything else about it was ugh awful. music too loud drinks FUCKING EXPENSIVE holy shit stay home and drink instead pleaseeee #it was a work thing but none of my coworkers I'm friends with actually knew what they were doing so while I wasn't actual awkward they were #and the thing about social interaction is that if no one knows what they're doing it's not very fun #I grabbed someone and started a pool game because the table was open and both of us were absolute garbage at the game #but I was laughing about it and they were like... apologetic about being bad?? d #I did have the classic experience though where your friends disappear and you end up alone because you don't know where they went #all in all an interesting experience but not one I'm eager to repeat.#I did get invited to someone's Christmas Eve Party though which is cool and they gave me their number to make sure I have the info #so probably worth going just for that I think. got their phone number so we can communicate so that's like. successful social connection.#we're already friendly at work but easier to talk to someone when you're both not busy on the opposite side of the store with customers #anyway. who tf out going to clubs. awful environment.#I was like.. twenty percent of the way to being comfortable going out and dancing but hard to just swallow your hesitation #and a) alcohol as liquid courage is hmm not ideal and b) it was expensive anyway #oh well. it'll take more time to come out of my shell and I'd literally never been to a bar/club before in my life.#so I'll have some patience with myself and not be annoyed with how I could have done better or been more confident.#literally totally new environment. also... country music was nice but not a group of people I could really be comfortable around yaknow?#Lotta old white straight couples dancing the country two-step so I didn't really feel like I fit in.#anyway. interesting experience. neat to have. if I ever have a reason to go to a bar again I'll know more about what to expect #also... no one carded me. no one asked for ID? aren't they supposed to #oh wait. comment about the yodeling cause it was actual old country but they didn't do the voice register changes for it #I was like WAIT ARE THEY GONNA YODEL FOR REAL??? but then he didn't he just jumped intervals without shifting voice.#was a little disappointing but maybe a lot to expect from a random stage show at a bar.#wait wait I'm also proud of myself because the bartender asked open or closed and my mind scrambled for half a second to figure it out #but then I realized it meant open tab or closed tab like ordering more drinks and then paying at the end and so obviously closed #cause I ain't buying more than the one drink holy fuck it was so expensive also they mix them way stronger than I like #I like my drink weak ass and pathetic. alcohol is like spice I like a little to taste but not a lot. complimentary not overpowering #I drank it and then remembered I never ate lunch so I was like fuck and immediately went and ate something (work party so free food)

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running-in-the-dark · 7 months

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the apartment we looked at today was really bad - like, one room was missing half the flooring and they (the landlord) just put carpet over it. luckily it was only the current tenant there, though - she told us about the landlord and that she's... not great. so even if the apartment had been decent we wouldn't have been interested after that.

#it also helped us further narrow down which places/villages we'll consider from now on #it's basically just down to three places now.#and they're the same ones we would have preferred the last two times we moved.#but damn I'm just really not willing to go through all this work again just to end up in *another* shitty village that I know I won't #really like.#I'd rather stay with my mother for a couple months if it means we find a good place.#(it'd have to be my mother and not my in-laws because we're pretty sure they wouldn't want our cats in their house. so)#like it'd SUCK but I can. not. keep moving somewhere new every fucking year #especially since it takes me a year to start feeling sort of at home #we've been thinking we *might* be able to start thinking about maybe possibly mayyybe buying a house at some point. if I find a job and if #it's one that pays enough and so on.#and we would really rather not move again until we can do that.#(if we can. it's only a very vague idea at this point. but we've realised it's the *only* way we'd actually feel fully comfortable somewher #we're bad at living in a house with other people 🙃)#(and there are *no* houses for rent that aren't absolutely huge and/or way too expensive)#personal

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justthatspiffy · 1 year

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there's such a jarring difference in watching dating reality tv when you're single vs in a healthy relationship

when i was single i watched it almost as an exposure therapy to people being vulnerable and performing romantic gestures, and while i had many moments of "no! that is not how we communicate with our partners!" and awareness of the hilariously compressed timelines of these shows, i was not overwhelmed in cringe

now, while i don't have any more romantic experience than the people in these shows (tho i may have plenty more communicating-in-healthy-ways experience), the romantic performance is thrillingly novel, the vulnerability is alarmingly rushed, and it's overall not as interesting to watch

#potential other thing is love is blind isn't as good as it was the first season or two #but that doesn't seem likely i think this was always beautifully gilded trash tv #about people who can't communicate effectively in no small part bc of the demands of filming #and getting engaged in ten days and married a month later #anyway i was super bored and thought i'd give myself a lil girls night by myself w/ my stuffed animal pabo #and watched ep 1 from the new season #and i was excited to see some mid-30s folks really vibe with each other #but at the end of the ep she falls asleep at an inopportune time #and he's so so upset he thought she left #like i think one thing that is never addressed in love is blind is body language #and basic knowledge such as MY DATE FELL ASLEEP #lots of people would feel dismissed by that but also i think it could be an indication of someone's comfort with you #other than they're not actually in each others' presence #anyway what i was getting around to #is i was screaming at production #please tell him she's asleep #he deserves to know she's asleep she didn't ditch him #anyway this show stresses me out more since really coming to terms with the level at which i'm impacted by other people's movement #how you stand how you eat how you position yourself in relation to other people on and on #right what i didn't get around to saying was i was hoping bc this couple was older #they'd. act grown #but of course not #of course no one is acting grown on this show

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frostfairysteve · 1 year

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i try not to care about follower count but i'm getting really close to 200 and it's a bit overwhelming

#i left a sanders sides blog with ~1k followers behind a couple of years ago because i decided to start over w a new tumblr account #and after starting over all my blogs has sat at a comfortable 20 followers or less #partly because i turned on don't find me in search engines not realising it included tumblt search (google does not need to know me)#i turned it off when i made this blog and realised that hey it meant on tumblr too #but i had like two years of just vibing with barely any notes and recognising my followers #so getting back up in high numbers is overwhelming even with that former experience #if you read this far and like the occasional sanders sides content you should look at my other sideblog @lostcephalopods #(or if you like tma/hlvrai/bnha/mob psycho/body horror (it's a bit of a mess))

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theinternetkilledmychildhood · 2 years

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!!!! Something in my life went well for once!!!! Details in tags (slightly hindered by tag limit)

#so my romantic life has been a fuckin shitshow for years and even more so in the past few months #but i meet this guy at work last week who I really clicked with #we both got drinks at a sort of evening event nearby (the chalet at mass MoCA for those of you who know) after work last week #i ended up meeting a lot of new people and talking a LOT with him which was lovely #it was the most social I've been in months and i really enjoyed myself #and like. i gave him my number after work (which was how i ended up going to this thing in the first place) and afterwards??? he texted me #telling me he was really glad to see me there and he had a great time #and through our conversation i got indirectly invited to come over to his place and make/drink homemade wine spritzers (my recipe)#and at first i wasn't totally sure if this was a making new friends thing or maybe something more?#he's about 6.5 years older than me and we'd only talked twice (once at work and once at the thing) so it could've just be friendly #but we had that wine spritzers date last night and hung out for like. over 4 hours?? mostly just talking #oh boy did we talk about fuckin everything. he also told me I'm a very beautiful person in the course of that conversation #which... not many people have done in the past couple years. i can think of maybe one or two. so it's a big thing for me #and when we went inside to watch a few episodes of a show he recommended #he turned to me after the first couple episodes (which we were intermittently talking through)#and very matter-of-factly said can i ask you something? and when i said yes he said how do you feel about cuddling?#and of course my touch starved ass who already had a developing crush on him immediately said I'm a big fuckin fan of it #and we just. sat and watched like three more episodes of this show like that. very comfortably.#mostly holding hand(s) while he had his arm around me and i had my head on his shoulder (which was lovely)#but also??? with his hand between my thighs??? not doing anything but just like holding my leg #and we were like that for most of the last episode and a half of this show #and that was it! it got late and we both had to work so I left a bit before midnight #we chatted a bit and he hugged me on my way out but it wasn't anything more than that #and y'all. i fuckin. the slow pace? the honest and open communication? the clear respect of me and my boundaries but also attraction to me?#((which i barely comprehend btw))#god its so nice to be into someone whos also into me who's like. older and at a semi similar level of emotional and mental stability?? wild #so yeah im. very much reveling in the least dramatic and most wholesome slowburn of a romantic entanglement ive had in my entire life #GOD. to be treated like an ADULT by another ADULT. it shouldnt be this crazy but it really truly is.#ive had no choirs by florence in the machine stuck in my head since i walked home and its exactly everything i feel rn #personal

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jessethejoyful · 2 years

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it's wild how I can go from feeling yesterday like I was surrounded by love and friends and felt beautiful and on top of the world to today crying in my bed, weak and dizzy and alone

#personal #shut up jess #it's so stupid too but im just sitting here spiraling #my friends and i are gearing up to start an avatar d&d campaign #two of those 4 friends have now requested to have their s/o's join #which fine i understand people like doing things as a couple bc theyre their best friends fine whatever #im just so depressed because these are friends who have both almost completely ghosted since entering these relationships #we haven't done anything just as our little group for so long #and i am so single and depressed so i get to be like a 6th wheel because 3/4 of them are in relationships #and the last one is the dm #and this all sounds so fucking stupid as im writing it out but im just sitting here crying #because theyll like ask 'is it cool if x joins?' and how the fuck am i supposed to say no?#im not thats how #i don't feel comfortable saying to anyone 'hey can we not always bring our partners along i dont know them'#'and im not comfortable around new people so ill inevitably end up sitting there in silence because i feel isolated'#i just don't know what to do #if i try to back out itll look sus #i wanna just #scream

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sttoru · 3 months

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·.⌇ 𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈��. you’ve been one of sukuna’s many concubines for quite a while now. yet, you still cannot get rid of the jealousy in your system whenever he interacts with the other women in his harem.

wc. idk around 1 to 2k

tags. true form!sukuna x concubine!female reader. angst (hurt to comfort), fluff, suggestive at the end. heian era. you call sukuna ‘my lord’. reader gets called ‘brat, little girl’. size difference. no part2, don’t ask i beg. not beta read.

“get back here, brat,” sukuna raises his voice as he follows you. he isn’t one to care about others’ emotional outbursts, yet here he is, chasing you after you’ve poured out your heart to him.

you don’t know why you’re this upset. you do know, however, that it’s childish of you to walk away mid dinner. you should’ve just stayed seated and refuse to let the thoughts consume you.

now you’re speed walking down the hallways of the estate—your legs carrying you as fast as they can without actually making a run for it. your mind keeps replaying the ‘unsettling’ scene that caused you to flee.

you remember it vividly. the sound of sukuna’s low, amused chuckle. how intrigued it was because of something another concubine told him—how he stopped chewing to say something back to her. which he rarely does.

hell, you’ve never seen him laugh around his other concubines.

“i do not wish to talk to you right now, my lord,” you reply, voice raised so the distance wouldn’t make it a hassle for the king of curses to hear you. you know that feisty attitude of yours entertains sukuna to no end.

he raises an eyebrow once he’s heard your voice; how it’s dripping with envy and hurt. you’ve never reacted like that before—at least not in his presence. it made him want to figure out why and how.

though, he can easily guess the reasoning behind your sudden defiance.

“oh, that so?” sukuna hums. he’s lenient with you this time around. he could catch up to you in under a split second, but he decides to give you that sense of accomplishment first before completely destroying it. he walks after you slowly, your fast steps being the same tempo as his slow pace.

you don’t answer. you’re stubborn. you have no right to feel jealous. you are a fairly new concubine—only a couple months ago did you join sukuna’s harem. yet, the time spent with him was precious.

he treats you differently. everyone notices that. everyone tells you the same. you know he does by the way he lets you off the hook with most stuff you say and do.

you don’t know what you did to gain his favouritsm, but it’s addicting. his attention is addictive. real addictive.

you had sworn not to develop any unneccessary feelings for that ruthless sorcerer. but, with the way sukuna treated you so gently behind closed doors, it was impossible not to.

you eventually reach the doors to your chambers. you slide them open and wish to close them behind you, only for a big hand to halt those movements. you freeze in place and refuse to look up at the owner of that said hand.

“look up,” sukuna demands. his voice causes goosebumps to appear on your arms, but you still don't budge. he clicks his tongue. that’s your first warning. two more and your punishment will be carried out, “we can do this the hard way too if you want.”

you turn your head, your fingers curling around the material of your kimono. you really should not feel this way about a little interaction between sukuna and his other concubine. that is none of your concern. what he does with those other women is none of your concern.

and yet. . .

“i don't want to,” you retort. sukuna walks into your room with a sigh. each step he takes forwards, you take backwards. your back finally bumps against the wall next to your bed.

sukuna towers over you, his tall and big frame making you feel vulnerable. especially with the way those red eyes of his are staring down at you. he crosses all four of his arms before speaking.

“tell me what’s running through that head of yours,” sukuna inquires sternly. he isn’t playing around anymore, you can tell. you glance the other way—knowing that he will laugh at you the moment you tell him why you’re upset.

you have a feeling he knows the reason behind your tantrum anyway.

“it’s nothing of importance, my lord,” you shake your head and relax your tense shoulders to make you seem less upset. your words have some truth in them—you don’t think your feelings of envy hold any value to him.

sukuna sighs again. he’s trying his best not to be annoyed at you. you’re his favorite and he wishes not to sadden you any further. he steps forwards, one hand moving to cup the side of your face.

his rough fingers play with a string of your hair, “i’m not stupid, little girl. i don’t like it when my woman is in distress.”

your heart skips a beat. this is what confuses you—how he can go from stern to gentle and vice versa. it’s surprisingly unexpected, which makes you long for more. even if his behaviour is confusing.

you look up at sukuna. your eyes meet for the first time in a good couple minutes. the corner of sukuna’s lips curls up into a satisfied smirk. that’s one step closer to getting you to open up.

“now,” the king of curses lowers his head to your eye level, the proximity all the more nerve wracking. he holds your jaw super tightly out of the blue. it makes you whimper.

“spit it out.”

there it is. the duality of the man strikes once more. you swallow the spit that’s been building up in your mouth. you bite your bottom lip lightly, trying to gather and form the right words to explain yourself.

sukuna wouldn’t understand. he’s a cold-hearted man who doesn’t care about such ‘trivial’ matters. he’ll just call you stupid, pathetic or whatever other derogatory term.

you stop your thoughts for a moment.

“it’s really just a stupid thing,” you mutter. your fingers curl around sukuna’s wrist—the one hand he’s using to firmly hold your jaw. you take a deep breath in, “i did not like it when you, errr. . . when that woman talked to you at the dinner table.”

your voice is clearly dripping with jealousy. pure, pure jealousy. and for what? because he talked to his other concubine. you feel stupid. you thought you discarded your personal feelings for the sorcerer before you the moment you turned into one of his many women.

“that woman?” sukuna tilts his head, feigning ignorance. that little grin on his face tells you enough. he’s playing with you like some form of entertainment. well, technically you are.

he wants you to be specific. he’s forcing you to be by acting like he doesn’t know what you’re talking about.

in all honesty, sukuna’s already forgotten what that woman had said to him. it wasn’t and still isn’t worth remembering. all he can recall is your adorable facial expression when you saw him interact like that with his other concubine.

that little frown on your face was priceless. it makes him want to keep teasing you.

“you know who i am talking about, my lord,” you huff, trying to look away, but get stopped by sukuna readjusting his grip on your jaw. he firmly yet gently taps your cheek once and you know what it means.

“attitude,” sukuna warns with a quick hiss. he can let you say whatever you want to him, but you also have some limits regarding which tone you use with him. you apologise quietly under your breath.

the king of curses nods in satisfaction before releasing the grip on your jaw. his large hand trails down to your neck, thumb rubbing up and down your throat, “so, my little girl is mad at me because i talked to another concubine of mine, huh?”

you nod mindlessly. sukuna can easily get you to comply with him—to obey his every word, simply with his actions. the terms of endearment he uses are the cherry on top. they slip off his tongue so easily with you.

“tsk tsk,” sukuna shakes his head. his hand is now on the back of your head, fingers tangled into your hair. he’s staring down at you with a smug expression. he knows he’s got you wrapped around his finger, “how childish of you.”

you knew that would be one of the things he’d say to you. what you didn’t expect is for him to go for a kiss right after. his lips land on yours firmly, and to no surprise, you instantly return the gesture.

your arms wrap around his neck—your chest pressing against his. sukuna wastes no time in picking you up and letting your legs encircle his waist. he’s not pulling away for air to breathe and you don’t either.

“you’re going to listen to me, yeah?” sukuna murmurs between passionate kisses. he’s holding onto you tightly with two arms, his free hands roaming over your body whilst he pins you against the wall.

when you whimper out a weak, high-pitched ‘yes, my lord’, he smirks against your mouth before turning to kiss your neck. he slightly bites the skin to make sure you’re paying attention to him.

“i don’t remember what that woman said,” sukuna continues, nearly out of breath because of the kisses he’s leaving all over you. he easily grabs both your wrists and pins them above your head on the wall, “i was too busy lookin’ at a much prettier concubine of mine.”

he pulls back a little so he can look you in the eyes. you’re panting and embarrassed by what he just said. one of his hands finds your face again, tracing the shape of your mouth.

“my favourite,” sukuna whispers whilst licking his lips. you can see it in his eyes: he’s silently planning out how he’s going to remind you of your place. your place as his favorite concubine.

he dips his head back down, aiming for the valley between your breasts. he closes his eyes before sucking on the surrounding flesh;

“guess i’ll be nice for once ‘nd show you just what it means to be my favorite so that you’ll never dare forget it again.”

#sttoru writes.#jjk x reader #sukuna x reader #sukuna x you #jjk x you #jjk #jjk x y/n #sukuna x y/n

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fingertipsmp3 · 7 months

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I’m not even gonna lie, my grief over Mabel is making me insane

#every time i remember she’s not here i hear this roaring in my ears and i just break down and cry #i keep trying to pretend she’s just asleep in the other room but it’s not working #looking at pictures of her just makes me cry. the people who will be cremating her are going to take a clipping of fur and a pawprint from #her for me but i don’t know what i’m going to do with those things. like where i’ll put them #i know once i’m a bit more emotionally stable i’ll regret not having them. i wish i had some of kim’s fur. i forgot the feel of his fur so #quickly and i always struggled with that. but i also know that having pieces of mabel won’t comfort me in the slightest right now because i #just want her back and i feel so so so guilty even though i know it was her time #she’d gone so senile that she had a panic attack every time she went on a walk. it could last up to an hour. she was restless; refusing to #nap & barely able to sleep. she was riddled with arthritis to the point you could only touch her head; paws & maybe her chest #she bit if you tried to clean her or have her wear anything or sometimes if you put her lead on her. she never used to do that. that was a #new development that started in about june-july after she had two strokes. her little heart was racing and she was panting all the time f #she also had this growth in her mouth that may or may not have been infected or cancerous and she wasn’t letting us examine it. we wouldn’t #have been able to adminster treatment either because she’d bite and thrash if we tried to look in her mouth #but she was still eating and drinking okay… drinking too much if anything. and she was more or less continent. and she would have some lucid #moments where she was wagging her tail at us and requesting pets. she could get in and out of the house no problem #it was just quality of life because i knew she was in pain & her brain and heart were both shutting down and she wasn’t able to enjoy stuff #like walks that she used to love. and i knew she wouldn’t survive this winter because she haaaated the cold #but i still feel guilty because i know she could probably have lived another month. but it’s also like. how much would that month of life #have stressed her out? she’d already forgotten lots of people like my stepdad; my grandparents; my best friend and her kid. if she’d have #forgotten me and/or the house she would’ve been scared all the time and i never wanted that for her. i wanted her to have a good last couple #of days. and i think she did but there’s part of me that still feels so guilty and wishes she was still here #even if she was just eating and drinking and sleeping. even if she stopped letting me pet her. but then i know i’d have been keeping her #around for me. i feel like i ended her suffering but i also potentially robbed her of some happy moments #i just can’t get over the guilt of leaving her on that floor by herself. i sat there for ages waiting for someone to carry her out but then #i realised they were waiting for me to leave so i just walked out and it felt so wrong. she would have hated that she went to sleep on a #cold hard floor. she didn’t even lie on the floor voluntarily. she slept on the dining room couch or in her bed #i can’t stop crying whenever i think of it. i feel like shit and i don’t know how to move on #i put all her things in the garage to be sorted out when i’m less upset. apart from her collar and her blankets #i put her collar around one of the stair bannisters and i gave her blankets to my friend for her dog #i don’t know what i’ll do when she comes back to me in an urn. scream and cry and throw up probably

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britneyshakespeare · 9 months

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in a very strange way which confounds all logic and human emotion, i do enjoy substitute teaching

#it makes fucking shit money though #oh especially if youre subbing for a para. fuck #i make less than minimum wage in my neighboring state for subbing #but i enjoy the feeling of purposefulness. basically every school in america has a substitute teacher shortage #and im very appreciated on like. a human level.#and i kinda like the variety of it. it's hard learning new kids' names every day though #but at the same time you get to see so many corners and classes in one school district #i went to the high school for the first time today. i had only tried to do that a couple times last year #but ended up having panic attacks and having to cancel them last minute #plus my ongoing physical illness which was getting REALLY REALLY FUCKING BAD in late spring #i decided not to really push it until the next year #but today was pretty fine. good even!#despite that the clock-in time was 7:00. illegal #im gonna do the elementary school tomorrow though. good for me #the elementary school is my comfort zone #tales from diana #mainly cuz ive worked other jobs at that elementary school than subbing so i know more of the kids #but now those kids are starting to move onto the bigger grades ;____; omg...#two years from now i might run into one of my former elem. kids at the high school. not ok w that possibility #they just get older and older don't they. so do i.

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quitethepirategal · 11 months

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Ah oof. Feeling kinda anxious again.

#idk i really love writing Jess but i have no replies or anything and idk #i never really know how people feel about me and that makes me.... nervous?#there have been a couple time this week when i step out of my comfort zone and try and make a new friend! and then i scare them off some how #and im left like Oh Oki.....#and then it starts making my brain think that my actual friends also think im too much or annoying and i KNOW THAT ISN'T TRUE but #i still sit there like Oh Ok Sorry #idk #i wish i was better at communicating #rephrase: i wish i had two ounces of discretion #Actually the most recent time was totally understandable and just a completely different situation. I'm not worried about that but like.#It just keeps happening man qwq #{ mobile }#{ negative }

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jaysgirlx · 3 months

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"Need help sweetheart?" Bookstore Customer!Jason Todd helps you reach the books on the higher shelves. You were his favorite employee and he wanted to make your day easier. He'd been coming here for a while but you always forgot how tall he was and how good his body felt pressed against yours. You only knew how to mumble out a couple words because you didn't know what else to say to a man like that. "Uh sir, you don't need to-"

"Please call me anything but sir sweetheart, you know I'm not new here"

Bookstore Customer!Jason enjoyed teasing his favorite employee aka you of course. He teases you about working at the bookstore even though he's constantly there and he'll always be flirting with you even if you're working the counter that day. He knows he's holding up the line but he's a paying customer so he doesn't care.

"How's my favorite pretty girl doing?"

"M'tired today Jay, I can't handle your nonsense right now"

"Okay that was mean- wait, Jay? that's a first"

"Buy a book or get out Jason"

You could easily tell Jason liked classics and poetry but for some reason he was willing to read your favorites even if they were a smut-filled mess. One time, he backed you up into a corner, after reading one of those books you liked, "Hmm, you like this kind of shit baby? cause I can do all that to you and so much more"

Over time, you learned that Jason also likes to follow you to the store, whispering to you about all the things he could do to you if you'd let him. His hand is always on your hips, pressing his body fully into you. He knows you like it especially when you roll your hips into his when nobody's looking. He wishes you'd use your words and just say you were his but he knew he wasn't even close to getting that, at least not yet.

Jason tried to buy a new book every week, sometimes not even to read. He needed an excuse to be there since your boss has never been fond of him ever since he had caught him feeling you up near the back shelves once. He learned his lesso so now he purposefully buys the books you like, just so he can watch you ramble on and on about them without getting kicked out of the store.

Bookstore Customer!Jason thrived on the feeling he got from watching you go from being so nonchalant around him to the most talkative girl in the world. he wants you comfortable if he's going to fuck you. You find yourself shutting up one time because you thought you had bored him but he quickly gets rid of that thought for you, "Keep talking sweetheart, I'm just wondering how pretty your mouth would look with my cock stuffed down your throat"

"Jay I don't- I can't- I haven't-"

"Don't worry, you will and I'm sure you're a fast learner"

It wasn't that hard for you to notice that Jason got a little jealous when his brother Dick hits on you the first and last time he brings him to the bookstore. Dick easily chats you up and Jason watches the two become a bit too friendly for his liking but it wasn't his place to speak, "Now I see why my little brother brings home so many books"

"It's good he does, I like guys who read"

"I actually quite the fan of classic literature-"

"Oh shut up Dick"

Bookstore Customer!Jason had all your coworkers wondering if you'll ever let the poor guy hit. They weren't sure if Jason was interested in you or your body, regardless they couldn't ignore the smile you got whenever he walk in. Or the way you'd laugh at his dumb jokes. You had him on a leash and you didn't even know what to do with him. He's begging to take you out or just even spent a night with you. He didn't just want you, he needed you. "C'mon I promise to take care of you princess, I'll even take you to that little coffee shop in Bludhaven"

"Who told you about that?!"

"…Dick"

When he finally manages to convince you to let him kiss you, you're nervous as fuck. You thought this was just another one of his antics but no, this was real. He'd promised to stop hitting on you if you felt nothing and you should've know it was bad idea when you could hear your own heartbeat still your let his lips touch yours. It was such a bad idea because before you knew it, he's got you pushed up against the wall, leg parting your thighs with your hands gripping at his shirt. "Jay, more please" Suddenly after all this time, you're pleading for him. Oh how the tables have turned. You're begging for all he's got, and you know he has so much more to give.

"Just give me a moment baby, got be patient" Within a matter of minutes your pants are discarded on the floor, and your panties are still on but being pushed aside while two fingers are being pumped in and out of your pussy. He's got one hand on your hips holding you down while one of your legs is wrapped around his waist. "Didn't I tell you I could do some much for you baby?"

You nod quickly while he's sucking on your poor neck, that would definitely be red all tomorrow. you feel his teeth sink into your skin, not too hard but rough enough to leave a mark. "Now keep quiet, I don't want any of your coworkers hearing us back here" The next thing you know you're cumming on the boy's fingers and he wants you to do it again. and again. and possibly 50 more times if you're willing.

The next time Jason comes, he's holding what you think is flowers and you know he'll be your victim today.

"So I thought real flowers would be cheesy and you'd probably not want to take care of em, so my brothers taught me how to make these paper flowers and…here just take them"

"Wow, I'm getting hand-crafted flowers from THE Jason Todd? Someone must have a really big crush on me huh? Are those bandaids on your fingers? Want me to kiss your boo-boos? "

"Are you going to finally go out with me or do I have to make you cum-"

"Yes yes! Just do not finish that sentence out loud"

"You are soooooooooo in love me"

"Jay, get out"

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hemmingsleclerc · 11 days

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Scandal!┃CL16-MV1

I just want to say I love w all my heart charlotte so I'm not trying to hate on her, she looks very friendly but I just used her for her pics with charles

Also I had this idea on kylie and timmy's ''relationship rules rumours'' she put on him, poor timmy😭😭

instagram

f1_gossip

Liked by 183,573 others

f1_gossip According to reports, there is drama in the paddock! It all started when rumors came out of testimonies close to the couple where Aurora (Charles' new girlfriend) has imposed ''rules'' in her relationship with the driver!

"First, Aurora wanted him to cut ties with all of his exes, especially with the female driver, with whom he is still very close", Let's remember that Leclerc and Y/LN dated for almost 3 and a half years but they separated and they remained on friendly terms, before this they had been friends since childhood and the model ''did not like that'', they tell us.

comments

username girl what the fuck??

username stop, pls you're literally a ''model'' bc your mommy knew people and got u a job, on the other hand, Y/N has trained her entire life for that sport and she is super talented and has achieved all that by herself, stop embarrassing yourself.

username IF SHE MAKES SURE WE NO LONGER HAVE MOMENTS BETWEEN CHARLES AND Y/N, SHE WON'T LIVE TO TELL ABOUT IT FRRRR

ynln

Liked by maxverstappen1, redbullracing and 1,845,295 others

ynln Made some great memories in Miami, had dinner w friends, and podium celebration this weekend, see u on Imola <3

lewishamilton fun night!

username I miss charles' comments on her posts 😭

maxverstappen1 🤘!!!

landonorris why wasn't I invited?

ynln bc I hate u

landonorris lol wth? I literally apologized 5 times for laughing at your pic,pls :(

redbullracing 👏👏

charles_leclerc

Liked by scuderiaferrari, aurora.official, and 1,642,795 others

charles_leclerc A little bit of blue and leo 😘👑Miami, thank you

aurora.official SO PROUD OF YOU BABY!!!😍😍

username girl okey we got it, now stop.pls

username PLS- THE WAY HE CROPPED HER FROM THE PHOTOS 🤣🤣🤣

scuderiaferrari blue suits you 🩵

username you look so good on blue cha 😭💗

cha_yn

Liked by 843,537 others

cha_yn I miss my parents, pls they were so in love 😭😭💔

username the way charlie looked at her

username my man was so deeply in love....

username she used to shine more when she was with him :(

twitter

comments

username Ok max having a crush on yn wasn't on my bingo card this year

username ok but what a great and hot couple they would both be

username I SEE IT 👀

rebullracing

Liked by ynln, maxverstappen1, and 739,539 others

redbullracing P1 and P2!!! What an amazing race for our team, very proud of max and yn!

ynln ❤️‍🩹

maxverstappen yes baby!

username did anyone saw charles' face when yn and max celebrated together??? no?? okey

f1_gossip

Liked by 429,683 others

f1_gossip Apparently after the great victory of both Redbulls, both went out to celebrate at a bar and sources claim that both were "very comfortable around each other", what do we think of this?

username nooo, I was still hoping charles and yn came back :(

username I'm here for their reputation era

username Idk if I want to be yn or max

aurora.official

Liked by charles_leclerc, herbestfriend and 284,626 others

aurora.official My baby got P3!! I'm so proud of him❤️❤️

username girl,do you at least know something about the sport?

aurora.official duh

username :/

maxverstappen1 has posted a story!

caption: yn send me this pic earlier today and thought I needed to show u, do we look alike?

charles_leclerc has posted a story!

music: I bet you think about me-Taylor Swift

twitter

f1_gossip

Liked by 947,594 others

f1_gossip What the hell happened between these two?? In the first practice of the weekend both drivers fought! According to some fans who came today, Charles approached Max furiously while he was yelling at him and Max wasn't far behind! What could have happened between these two?

username STOP WHAT IF IT'S FOR YN!!?!??!?!

username WHAT IS HAPPENING

username what the fuck 😭😭😭

Part2

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