#these are some real good edits aaaa
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𝐈𝐧𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐦 𝐀𝐔 - 𝐒𝐞𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐥𝐲 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬 𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝟐
𝐃𝐫𝐚𝐛𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝟏 𝐅𝐢𝐜
Cast(s): Actress!Reader & Actor!Suna Rintarou
Warning(s): Swearing, a bit suggestive at the end, reader is using she/her pronouns, girls in pics are just for references, all of these pictures aren't mine (I just edited some of them)
A/n: This is the longest insta au I've ever made. Bcs I just discovered that you can upload more than 10 images on tumblr's web. But I hope it's not boring tho😭
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yourinstagram wanna take this downtown?
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nikizefanya This liquid courage got me way too honest
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ynfan13 WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON?!?
rintarousuna We should explore europe together, wdyt?
↳yourinstagram Ofc, you're the Boots to my Dora❤️
↳rintarousuna Okay, princess
↳aquariusuna WTF AAAAAA!!! SO YOU GUYS ARE OFFICIAL NOW?!?
↳sunafan15 Y/N, I'D DIE IF RIN CALLS ME PRINCESS. TELL ME WHAT BLACK MAGIC ARE YOU USING?!?
↳ynfan14 LITERALLY JUST DIED. FUCKING FINALLY!!! YOU GUYS ARE PERFECT FOR EACH OTHER❤️❤️❤️
rinynfloral I KNEW IT. I FUCKING KNEW IT
antiyn2 Just a week ago he said he wanna keep the relationship private and now look at his "girlfriend". This is definitely for pr
↳ynfan15 I smell jealousy😌
↳cinnamon.ln You need to realise that he got interviewed months ago, darl. People change. Just be happy for them, you're so negative lmao
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rintarousuna あの通りを散歩して街灯の下で踊った
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atsumumiya That's it, I'm gonna log out from this shitty app
↳yourinstagram You're just jealous, Miya
↳rintarousuna You're just jealous, Miya (2)
↳osamumiya You're just jealous, Miya (3)
↳astumumiya SAMU?!?
↳atsumumiya @aranojiro Help mee
↳aranojiro No
rinyn.crew OH MY FUCKING GOD!!!
ynfan16 idc what yall gonna say, THEY ARE THE IT COUPLE
↳ynfan17 AGREED
rareyn Go to Paris for PFW❎️
Go to Paris bcs is a big simp✅️
↳sunafan16 LMAO YES, I JUST REALISED HE GOT NO REASON TO BE IN PARIS😭
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48,926 likes
therinynpost RINYN STANS!! HOW ARE WE FEELING RN???
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ynfan18 SO YOU'RE TELLING ME THAT THEY'RE IN LONDON RN?!?
↳sunafan17 RIN WASN'T JOKING WHEN HE ASKED HER TO TRAVEL AROUND EUROPE TOGETHER😭😭😭
ynfan19 THEY LOOK SO CUTE TOGETHER
sunafan18 FINALLY THEY FEEL COMFORTABLE TO BE SEEN IN PUBLIC. IM SO HAPPY FOR THEM
sunafan19 MY SHIP IS FINALLY SAILING
ynfan20 Love is in the air😭❤️
23,846 likes
dreamyyn GOOD NEWS EVERYONE!! Y/N WILL PLAY FOR A MOVIE DIRECTED BY THE ONE AND ONLY SHINSUKE KITA!!
View all 752 comments
ynfan21 OMG I LOVE HIM SO MUCH!!! HES ONE OF THE BEST MOVIE DIRECTORS
ynfan22 OMGG WHERE CAN I READ THIS ARTICLE???
↳dreamyyn I just put the link in my story!
ynfan23 Y/N, RIN, KIYOKO, OSAMU IN ONE MOVIE?!? IM DEAD
ynfan24 OMG I'VE READ THE BOOK!! HE'S RIGHT! Y/N DEFINITELY WILL KILL THIS ROLE
ynfan25 You know you're a good actor when you could impress him😩
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tmz_tv Love is in the air for the newest A-list couple. Just a day after made their relationship Instagram official, they were seen together at The National Gallery in London. Link in bio for all we know about their romantic museum date.
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ynfan26 They're melting my heart😭❤️
sunafan20 I want them to last forever
sunafan21 M-museum date?!? I'm done. This can't be real. They're so in love
ynfan27 Rin, could we switch? Please, I BEG YOU
ynfan28 Parents 😩❤️
Liked by osamumiya and 927,619 others
yourinstagram *gasp* can you guys believe that now I'm part of these amazing casts?!? Thank you so much @.shinsukekita for cast me in this film *cry*
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kiyoko Yayyy, here we go! See you on set, angel<3
↳yourinstagram AAAA SEE YOUUU QUEEN<33
rintarousuna I'm stuck with you, ig
↳yourinstagram You can't get rid of me, baby
↳rinandyn.daily I WANT WHAT YOU TWO HAVE🥲
sunafan22 OMFG AAAAA YOU GONNA KILL THIS
ynfan29 Mr. Kita ain't playing with the casts😩
lndaydream IM SO PROUD OF YOU!! YOU DESERVE IT❤️❤️❤️
Liked by yourinstagram and 10,275,737 others
rintarousuna Let’s celebrate the day you gave up on finding anyone better than me for the third time!
All jokes aside, I love you and thank you for being a good mom to our baby
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yourinstagram She's a beauty, no wonder you keep her all this time
↳rintarousuna Yeah I do gatekeep
ynfan30 IM NOT SURPRISED THAT YOU'RE TOGETHER. BUT 3 YEARS?!?!
sunafan23 PLEASE... I LOVE YOU GUYS SO MUCH😭❤️
ynfan31 God, when is my time🥲💔
sunafan24 MOM?? BABY??
↳rintarousuna I– not a human baby. You haven't seen the third pic, have you?
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yourinstagram Everyday I am grateful to have you. But here’s a post to prove it.
(Alternative caption: 26.280 hours and still counting✨️)
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tooruoikawa *gasp* I thought we were married? I'll make @primevideo fire you. Alexa, play traitor by olivia rodrigo
↳yourinstagram #ynisoverparty
↳rintarousuna Get lost, shittykawa
↳tooruoikawa HEY
↳ynfan32 PLS YOU GUYS... IM CRYING😭
hitokayachi love love looooveeee
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ynfan33 YOU TWO ARE THE CUTEST OMG
rinxyn Pls get married, I'm begging
sunafan25 Ramen date and flowers??? I'M CRYING. HE'S SO ROMANTIC😭
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↳sunafan25 SHUT UP. Y/N LIKED MY COMMENT?!?
385,819 likes
voguemagazine @yourinstagram is our November cover star! For this month’s issue, Vogue sat down with the actor in the middle of her busy schedule. L/N shared details of her quiet life in suburban areas and across Surrey during the filming of “I Know Places 2”, her unique way of dealing with fame and protecting her mental health, rumours that she's dating her co-star, her tricky teen years, and her upcoming films.
Head to the link in bio to get a sneak peek at her cover story in our upcoming November issue, on sale on Monday, October 24.
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ynfan34 @yourinstagram Girl... get some sleep
↳sunafan26 Ikr, new series, film, photoshoot, interview, and now magazine? 😭
↳yourinstagram I need to secure the bag, baby😔
↳ynfan34 AHSHSBDB OMGGGG PLS TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF!!!!
itsyn.update We are so proud of you❤️
ynfan35 You're the coolest😩❤️
Y/N via Vogue's website
Academy Award winning couple Y/N L/N and Rintarou Suna have become one of our favorite celebrity couples; the two have been secretly dating for three years. The reason behind it is because, according to Y/N, she wasn't so sure about their relationship at the beginning.
She admits her initial concerns about dating the Japanese actor. “I was scared. I never dated anyone ever since I started my career. Which means, I’ve been single for almost a decade,” she confesses. “I had this thought like, ‘Are we going to get paparazzi’ed all the time? Should I be worried? What about our job and friendship? Am I not being professional?’”
L/N tells Vogue how grateful she is to have a boyfriend that understands how she felt and always supports her no matter what. However, as times goes by, she is letting the cat out of the bag since she doesn’t feel anxious anymore about “what people may say”.
Y/N also reveals that working with Rintarou makes her feel comfortable and one of the best things she has ever experienced. “I can not imagine anyone could replace him as my co-star. Besides, we’ve been friends for a year and have worked together as Coach brand ambassador.”
Then, the (H/C)-haired actress describes her relationship is as beautiful as daylight. Love to her is “golden”, it’s save, warm, and peaceful. “He doesn’t really enjoy going out too much. He loves to stay at home and feels secure. So when we have a free time, we just cuddling while watching a film,” she shares. “The rest? I’m just gonna keep that one a secret.”
Another a/n: Pls keep in mind that I’m not a journalist or whatever. So if the “article” is cringe or not good enough, I’m sorry lol.
Taglist: @alienvarmint @iwaizumi-chan @rivaiken @tenaciouswritersheep @whorefornoodles @ssc7514 @jeanskanojo @jtaimeurmom @pinksilk @yachisupremacy @33765 @bukopandansalad @jjikyuu (some accounts can not be tagged, sorry)
#If you've seen the unfinished version of this. yes. I accidentaly posted it#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu x female reader#haikyuu x f!reader#haikyuu fluff#haikyuu smau#hq x reader#hq x female reader#hq fluff#hq smau#suna x reader#suna x female reader#suna x f!reader#suna fluff#suna smau
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First art on a new tablet!
Grian having a crisis due to Watcher things. c:
I talk about my new tablet under the cut if your interested!
So, as an early birthday present I got an inexpensive portable tablet called a PicassoTab. I've had it for a bit but I've mainly used it to take notes for my externship and other things using the Squid notes app but I've finally sat down and pulled up mediabang and done real art.
So what do I think of this tablet?
The PicassoTab is an inexpensive general tablet that supports a real drawing pen. Basically, its a cheap iPad and apple pencil. Except I would definitely NOT call it cheap. Its actually a really nice little tablet and pen combo and I'm quite happy with it.
I'd liken it to my large Ugee tablet in terms of draw feel. Its very obviously a tablet and does not at all feel like drawing on paper. This can be a major downside for some artists to PLEASE keep that in mind. While I prefer my Gamon as far as draw feel, since I've used the Ugee before its not a huge downside and the portability makes up for that less than desirable draw feel.
The pen uses a single AAAA battery which isn't ideal imo. While it keeps the pen smaller and more pen sized, its a hard battery to find outside of online stores. Its not rechargeable so when the battery dies then you need a new one. Though there are rechargeable AAAAs out there, I dont know if they will fit as rechargeable batteries aren't the same size as their normal counterparts.
HOWEVER, I've been using this thing almost CONSTANTLY for over 2 weeks now and there is no sign of the pen dying so I think its got a good battery life and the passive discharge is minimal.
Whats nice about the Picasso is that its a general tablet as well as a drawing tablet. It has access to the play store and runs on android software. It came with 2 drawing apps installed and I really didn't care for them. But with access to the play store I was able to download mediabang which is a free software app that works wonderfully. It doesn't have all the same options as clip studio but its more than enough for the sketch book experience I want from this. I did make this art as a finished work on the Picasso but I didn't get it to replace my Gamon, just to replace the chunky sketchbooks and notebooks I used to carry around (and use less paper).
The other positive about it being a general tablet is that I can use it as a notebook, too. I write A LOT. Notes, lists, planners, ect. My house is stacked with notebooks of all shapes, sizes, and colors. I have SO MANY pens, too. Like WAY too many pens. But because the Picasso has access to the play store I can use the note app Squid to replace all of these notebooks and pens. I now carry around about 12 notebooks and counting in my purse and the notebooks have unlimited pages. Squid also lets you edit and move text after its written so its pretty easy to reorganize notes without rewriting everything.
So ya.
100% recommend if your looking for a portable sketchbook/notebook tablet.
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I am here for the mature ramblings of Sony’s new animated film installment, Spider-Man: Across the Spiderverse. I will not be overseeing only one character, and I will not be commentating on the new character, The Spot, or Dr. Johnathon Ohnn.
I have no admiration for The Spot and will see to it.
No admiration whatsoever.
None at all.
Great, now that that’s out of the way.
HOLY HELL I LOVE THE SPOT SO MUUUCCCCHHH!!!!! AAAAA I need to just GUSH real fast cause all my friends would JUUDDDGGEE MMEEEEEE 😫
I ALWAYS simp for the silly characters, especially when they get a teeny bit unhinged, so I had to tread carefully around this guy once I saw him in theaters. But HOLY CRAP once I saw the edits I was DOWN BAD.
AND NOW I’M DOWN WORSE.
Which feels kinda weird, cause he also turned out to be one of my kins and a little more like a comfort character??
Idk.
AAAA EVERYTHING ABOUT HIM IS SOO AAAAAAA
He is SUCH. A DORK. AND I LUV IT. He was so cute when he was putting the homemade collider together in his lil workshop like “This is what I love about science!” 🥺 THE BABY-And he’s legit smart, too?? Like that bumps him up a level or two I love the smarties 🤭
And he’s got the dad bod! He ain’t jacked!! Tbh I was just thinking “TYPICAL” of the Miguel simps to simp for the jacked guy. But SPOT. Idk man he looks so cuddly 😋 And his arms and legs are extra long as a bonus. I could see the chubbier version of him from his concept art being a lot softer. HE LOOKS SO MUCH FRIENDLIER I COULDN’T SEE HIM HURT ANYONE-
Well.
I STILL CAN’T WITH THIS VERSION OF HIM-
His hands.
I’ve got no dirty thoughts about that, unlike SOME of y’all 😏 Tbh I just wanna give him a high five. Hold his hand for a bit, y’know. Give the poor guy a hug, he needs it. He looks like either a good or an awkward hugger, which is great cuz I’m awkward too 😭😂
But yea just fluffy time like the short bit I wrote. That’s when them hands would come in handy lol
AND HE LOOKS PRETTY TALL TOO. Those scenes when he grabbed Miles’ head in the theaters, HOLY CRAP I NEEDED TO GET A HOLD OF MYSELF I WAS SITTING BETWEEN MY PARENTS-
Again, then hands-
That’s all for now :)
<3
#the spot#atsv the spot#the spot atsv#atsv#across the spiderverse#spider man: across the spider verse#spiderverse#johnathon ohnn x reader#jonathon ohnn x reader
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CLEM!!!
Happy birthday, lovely! I hope you're happy and healthy! So sorry I didn't see your post earlier, I've been having a very hectic year with studying, working and just generalized stuff! BUT BUT I couldn't send you a inbox!
So like a said: HAPPY BIRTHDAY! you are one of the sweetest mutuals ever! And to celebrate that a gotta ask
What is your latest read?
And I want to know your all time favorite Jason fics, please with links and all!
LOVE OF MY LIFE HELLO!!!
OMG PLS DONT APOLOGISE I KNOW HOW HECTIC LIFE CAN GET!! i hope you are taking good care of yourself, resting and relax outside of studies and work!!! remember that none of it matters if you aren't feeling good <33
MY LATEST READ OKAY
um truth be told my love i have been in SUCH a slump lately,,,, its been tough out here.
i only read like 3 books very recently (last month or so)
I did read All The Little Raindrops by Mia Sheridan my QUEEN. its like a mystery thriller with a side of romance!!! Sheridan's books are ALWAYS a hit (she's very popular for her booktok famous Archer's Voice? And Travis !!) I've read like. most of her books at this point. I have never devoted myself to an author so much. She got me into the whole thriller genre and I LOVE her. so much. ITS SO GOOD AAAA. its not for the faint of heart and on more than once i find myself with the need to throw up with how HORRIFYING and messed up some of this stuff is (most of her thriller books are not for the faint of heart. lots of horrific stuff that is all too real and it makes it 10x more disturbing). Anyway i loved it i think i gave it a 4/5 stars it was so so good
2. i ALSO started Ana Huang's If Love series. I literally never shut up about Ana Huang like. EVER and i had been wanting to read this for a while and IM SO GLAD I GOT IT STARTED !!! Its a LOT less popular than hr Twisted and Kings of Sin series; she wrote it well before she got popular/published but its so good. its def not Twisted/Kings of Sin series but it makes it sooo clear how much she's grown in her writing, character development and general story telling!!! I read the first 2 books and UGHGUGHUFGHUFGHG yeah. new comfort series fr fr fr fr.
I also got digging through Lynn Painter's works (Love Wager, Mr Wrong Number, Better Than The Movies, etc) 10/10 her rom coms are sacred to me. this was a while ago though like. months ago lmao but i think abt her books always!!!
OH OH OMG I READ BIRTHDAY GIRL BY PENELOPE DOUGLAS !!!! SOME TIME AGO!!! yeah it changed my brain chemistry. i dont remember if i told you or not. but it changed my life. i think about it always.
edit: omg shut up i forgot i read some banger books months ago that i did not mention. i ate up Liz Tomforde's sports romance series (Windy City series) it was SO FREAKING GOOD. she had hockey romance, she had basketball romance she had BASEBALL ROMANCE. 10/10 amazing vibes
I ate through the latest of Lauren Asher's (Love Redesigned) IT WAS ALSO HELLA GOOD!! Ana Huang's King of Greed was also a vibe. not my fav but it was good. I ALSO delved into hockey romance SOOO DEEP. Fav series is probably Becka Mack's Playing For Keeps. It's the silliest stupidest fluffy no plot head empty series ever. the first book is 90% porn. its just for the giggles. the second is a bit better but the third is def the best in terms of actual plot & character development for example but the vibes are astronomical and i live for them
i ALSO started reading Sarah Adam's small town romance series (very very good). All fluffy fall vibes. CHLOE GONG HAD COME OUT WITH A NEW BOOK IN THE SUMMER AND I GOT TO IT AROUND THE NEW YEAR AND IT WAS SOOO GOOOD. Immortal Longings mm......she destroyed me once again.
OKAY ALL TIME FAV JASON FICS ok i dont have links (is lazy to go find links) but i will tell you two blogs im like religiously stalking:
@in-som-niyah has AMAZING THOUGHTS on Jason 10/10 i love getting all my jason content from her GOD BLESS THE HARDWORKING PEOPLE OF TUMBLR DOT COM
@fcthots also has some kick ass Jason stuff....like....from smutty to fluffy and domestic its....yeah. oooghgubjgubgn yeah yeah.
anyway i've probably forgotten to mention a bunch of books but thats all i can remember that was actually good. HOW HAVE YOU BEEN WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN READING !!!
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omg... please may I know more abt bb playing L in ur tv show au 🫴 (no pressure, I just saw ur tags and I'm so intriguied :3)
aaaa yes!! i'm not gonna give away the WHOLE THING yet (i have over a thousand words of pre-planning notes that WILL magically be turned into a fic sooner or later), but i can definitely tell you about the premise!
so, basically - a few establishing notes:
BB survives. he's let out on probation post-canon for being on good behaviour; near pulls some strings and makes sure he's kept a close eye on.
he does this by putting him with mello and matt, who also survive the events of death note. don't worry about how. the important part is that mello's the only one left who heard about BB directly from L himself, and mello can't really argue with that logic, especially with near saying mello is better suited for something than him.
mello publishes a book about the kira case because he strongly disagrees with near about keeping things under wraps. letting light yagami be remembered as a good boy and kira as a martyr to his followers? nahhh. let the world see the man behind the "divine justice" for the charming snake he was, and let kira's followers see exactly how human their god was. some details are edited, of course, but it's largely a factual account of the case where it's clearly stated when aliases are used to protect the privacy of affected people. even a lot of details about L are released, because mello wants the original L to be remembered properly, not be tucked under light's and near's asses as though there was never a difference. near doesn't agree with mello, but he doesn't stop him, either, as long as he gets to approve the final draft before release.
the book becomes an absolute bestseller, obviously. everyone wants to know the real story of the battle between kira and L. before long, directors and movie studios clamor for mello's attention, wanting to sign deals for the rights to make a movie or tv show based on his retelling of events.
obviously, they need actors for the tv show mello agrees to sign with. hideki ryuga's the director's top choice for light, not just because of the resemblance, but the fact that he's local to tokyo and the bonus of his name coming up as an alias used by L himself - it's perfect. recognizing that mello is really, really picky about the casting for L, though, the director lets mello sit in on the casting for that role.
no force in the world (matt) could possibly have kept BB from making it to the audition.
mello has little choice but to admit that yeah, okay, going for accuracy, applicant rue ryuzaki is unfortunately the best casting choice among the options. he is also one of mello's roommates and a nightmare to work with-- yeah, the director's already got him signing the contracts, sure, whatever.
BB is absolutely gleeful.
he is also, in fact, a nightmare to work with.
hideki ryuga, his co-star, puts up with him. so does misa amane (playing the role of misa amane). everyone else is desperately unsettled by his method acting ass.
in an attempt to bond, hideki takes BB out to party. while the night is a bit of a mess, they do at least get absolutely schwasted in the end. sensing weakness, BB pounces to ask the question that's been burning in his mind ever since he heard about hideki ryuga being an alias of L's.
L doesn't just use other people's names. he takes them as trophies. he defeats them first.
oh, yeah, a very drunk hideki ryuga confirms. yeah, i did encounter the guy, actually.
hideki ryuga does not realize in the slightest at this point that the perpetrator of the los angeles BB killings has just decided he is now the most interesting person around he can hyperfocus on.
#am i gonna write bb/hideki ryuga rarepair fic. the answer is ''i mean. too late. i already started it''#enjoy this uhhh. idk. preview? trailer? intro summary?
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guys i didn't even REALISE until NOW THAT
CODE RAINBOW
VANITY FAIR HAS RELEASED AN OFMD S2 FIRST LOOK!!!!!!!!
I'm actually insane, and of course my incoherent thoughts will now be discussed as sub-text to each picture. Because what else is my Tumblr good for if I'm not going to unhinged-ly ramble??????
(*edit, this post has been changed to fit my current thoughts and theories)
GUYS GUYS GUYS HE HAS A BOTTLE MESSAGE IN A BOTTLE GUYS MESSAGE IN A BOTTLE MESSAGE IN A BOTTLE- It's for Ed isn't it, OR IS IT FROM ED? Oh my god is it from LUCIUS? Or JIM? Or FRENCHIE?? This has so many possibilities oh my god MESSAGE IN A BOTTLE AAAA. PLUS WHY IS HE SLAYING SO HARD??? HIS HAIR IS ACTUALLY A LIFE GOAL AT THIS POINT IN TIME
He looks so PICKABLE oh my god why is he looking like that. AND WHERE DID HIS EMO MAKEUP GO????????? Why is it gone. What's going on, is this after or before Stede-Ed reunion. Why is he sad, what is he looking at. IS STEDE PRISONER??? I SAW A FIC ABOUT THAT- and also I just need to very calmly comment on the beautiful wonderful LACK OF STEDE'S CRAVAT AND WTF ARE PEARLS DOING THERE- He wears fine things so WELL UGH
THE GANG. And I think we've all SEEN STEDE'S RED CRAVAT. AND I THINK WE ALL KNOW WHAT IT IS. It must be it must be it must be it must be it must be it must be. Also, can I just comment AGAIN and say his fit is such a vibe??? He's slaying in the pirate wear for REAL. He looks so miserable omg just give him to Ed PLEASEEE
This picture gives me so much JOY. SPANISH JACKIE AND ED JUST GOSSIPING. But BUT BUT if you look closer, ED IS LOOKING AT SOMETHING. HE'S LOOKING AT SOMETHING FONDLY. He's looking at Stede right, he's just finished telling Jackie how much he loves his boyfriend because s1 finale never happened PLEASE WHAT'S GOING ONNNNNN
PLEASE DEAR HE LOOKS SO CONFUSED. What is he doing, what is he doing, he is up to something look at his little "don't be suspicious, don't be suspicious" face. HE IS UP TO SOMETHING, HE IS UP TO SOME SHENANIGAN. Stede stop STOP STOP
This is part of Fuckery vol.2 AND I KNOW IT. Please what are they doing in an eastern country, and please don't tell me Stede went looking for Ed in the very place he promised to follow him TO. OH MY GOD PLEASE DON'T DO THAT WHY DID I DO THAT TO MYSELF HELP ME HELPPPP BUT BUT BUT BUT LUCIUS IS ALIVE? THAT MUST BE IT RIGHT RIGHT RIGHT
AND OF COURSE THE BEST PART: THE WOMEN PIRATES OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG I'm gay panicking for REAL THIS IS ACTUALLY MAKING ME NERVOUS SWEAT. Who is she who is she I must know and please make her a lesbian I need lesbian pirates BADLY. IS SHE MARY READ OR THE MERMAID. PLEASE TELL ME I'm GOING TO FAINT
I'm going feral over her. I'M ACTUALLY GOING INSANE. PLEASE THIS IS THE PERSON OF MY DREAMS WHERE CAN I FIND THIS?????????? ANNE BONNEEEYYEYEYEYYE. ALSO THEY'RE WEARING CONTRASTING COLOURS PLEASE. I NEED THIS TO HAPPEN LESBIAN PIRATES PLEAAASEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE AAAAAAAAH
That concludes my frilly little rant. Expect more uncontrollable behaviour from my part in the next few weeks.
Oh, and of course more in October. I will be wrapped in my breakup-robe-blanket, in my pirate shirt, underneath my Queen Anne's Revenge flag, staring at my screen like a hermit.
#our flag means death#ofmd#our flag means death season 2#ofmd 2#vanity fair first look#stede bonnet#ed teach#blackbeard#lesbian pirates#mary read#anne bonny#the crew#the revenge#i found out about this when staring longingly at my pinned ed post#then i noticed that the ofmd tag was trending#lo and behold vanity fair has come in clutch
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✨🌿
thank you bestie <33
✨What's a fic you've posted you wish you could breathe life into again and have people talking about it? (or simply a fic you wish got more credit)
aaaa this is seriously such a difficult question tbh i was very indecisive between two fics in particular - has to be either 'of loving at will, of loving till death' or 'can't help myself', but i think i'll go with the latter here. i enjoyed writing that fic so much, it was an idea i'd had on my mind for so long at that point i really needed to get it out and i think it's just such a fun and light fic but it still means so much to me!! but idk, i feel like maybe people simply aren't that into lingerie lmao don't get me wrong, i'm very grateful and happy with the feedback i've gotten for it but i posted it during a very weird time private life-wise and so i got kinda weird about it too. idk idk. i love it but posting it somehow managed to send me into a writing slump that i'm still trying to get out of so there's that lmao
🌿how does creating make you feel?
it's not really a fixed feeling, is it? sometimes it feels like breathing, it just comes so natural and automatic - you manage to write thousands of words in one day and it doesn't weigh down on you at all; but then some other times you spend hours trying to craft something that just doesn't want to come out, and you work and work and work until your eyes feel like sandpaper and your head could explode, you look at that word count and it's less than 1k words. it's exhausting and you can't stop, you feel guilty when you don't do it and it's all you want to do; sometimes you sit down to do it and you just can't find the words, and then sometimes you work your way through a whole scene in one sitting and you just feel like you could scream at everyone that you did it, you created something that is yours and yours only - from scratch, from your very own, very messy mind. and it feels so good, like you have electricity running through your whole body. and then you go back to reread everything once you're done with it: you start to edit to polish everything and wrap it all together, and you really feel it coming to life. and then, when you're done with that too and you finally post it, it's like you're putting a piece of yourself out for the world to see, and it's just so validating - saying i'm here, this is me, this is something that came from my mind, i could see it so clearly and now it's real and other people can see it too. it's yours, it helped you and it haunted you, and it's not just an idea anymore - it's tangible, a proof of your passage. your way of saying 'i'm here, i was here, i will be here'.
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20 questions for fic writers
This seemed like fun 😅💖
1. How many works do you have on AO3?
39 on AO3 (I’ve still got so many I never bothered to port across and probably never will 😅 All of my new stuff goes on here though!)
2. What’s your total AO3 word count?
512,495 uploaded so far (though I’ve got quite a backlog still to edit and upload).
3. What fandoms do you write for?
Wonka (2023), Undertale, BNHA, You me and the Apocalypse at the moment. Maybe I’ll go back to MCU, LoTR and Witcher someday. I am really, really tempted to start writing for more Mathew Baynton related fandoms; I am utterly obsessed with Ghosts at the moment as a reader 😅 I need more Thomas/Pat, Thomas/Julian, and Pat/Cap in my life! 🔥
4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
Twelve steps - 2,927 kudos - MCU, post civil-war, following the twelve steps of grief after a physical injury changes Tony’s life forever.
Unleashed - 1,274 kudos - Undertale, fellswap, shameless reader/Mutt/BlackBerry BDSM fic.
One track mind - 840 kudos, MCU, found family Darcy-centric Drabble.
Unforgivable - 628 kudos, Hobbit, post-canon everyone lives fix-it.
Taking the me out of teamwork - 602 kudos, MCU, Tony leaving the avengers Drabble.
5. Do you respond to comments? Why? Why not?
I now do my best to respond to every comment I get on every fic. I used to worry it was weird or annoying, but now I just try and focus on showing my appreciation for anyone that takes the time and effort to comment on my silly things.
6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
Ooooh gosh, either Twelve Steps (kind of a hopefully ending at least), Dark Deeds and Bitter Choices (my first finished and shared dove), or possibly Three Strikes (which I will go back to write an even darker follow-on at some point).
7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
Aaaa what even is happiness? Probably (Pure) Imagination; it’s just smut with a very open but happy ending. Or The Most (Un)Romantic Day of the Year (which I should up uploading in early April '24).
8. Do you get hate on fics?
I got some for one of my Undertale fics where people hadn’t fully read the tags 🥲 That fic hasn’t been finished but hopefully I’ll go back to it one day.
9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
I mainly write smut now 😅 80-90% of that is some kink of BDSM, fetish, or kink related smut. A real mix of long fics and one-shots. I feel more comfortable writing smut than I do fluff at this point!
10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?
I have started writing them again. At the moment, Wonka (2023) x You, Me and the Apocalypse (2016) is probably the most recent strange one? I’m also working on something Wonka (2023) x Ghosts (2019) at the moment, possibly with a bit of Spy (2011) and You, Me and the Apocalypse (2016) thrown in, but I'm not sure yet if I'll actually upload that one or not.
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
Not that I’m aware of 🤞
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
I believe Twelve Steps was translated into Russian but that’s it.
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
I have not, but I’d absolutely love to! 👀
14. What’s your all time favourite ship?
At the moment? Felix Fickelgruber x Willy Wonka (2023); it used to be Duo x Treize x Zechs 😅 but even back then that was a rare pairing to find 😅 I’m not sure if I’ve got an all-time favourite ship anymore; I prefer specific tags to ships. I’ll read anything sugar daddy or most healthy RACK/SSCK BDSM-related fics. Oh! Or anything with good, detailed aftercare.
15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?
It’s not looking great for Unforgivable 😢 maybe some day I'll go back to it.
16. What are your writing strengths?
I have no shame when it comes to smut. I’ll try writing (almost) anything at least once.
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
Repetition. So, so much repetition. Editing is not my strong suit, though I try my best.
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?
It can be interesting if done well? Sometimes it doesn’t feel like it adds much to the story and can just slow things down for the readers (especially if there is no translation provided).
19. First fandom you wrote for?
Gundam Wing as a literal child back in the 00s 😅
20. Favourite fics you’ve written?
Sugar Daddy? Call Me (Sir) has to be my absolute favourite just because it introduced me to so, so many amazing new fandom friends along with my absolute favourite discord server of all time.
His (Darkness) is the one I’m most excited about writing at the moment.
For A Moment is probably the one I most want to go back and do a sequel for, I feel far too bad about leaving Felix in that situation.
Dark Deeds and Bitter Choices is probably one of my absolute favourites (and ironically one of my least kudos’d multi-chapter fics); I think it’s just a bit too dark for the fandom which I totally get.
(Pure) Imagination is the one that helped me get back into writing again, so it's got a special place in my heart.
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🧟💅
AAAAAA Rose! (sorry i am getting back to this late, apparently I had plans after work aaaa)
Okayokayokay I did a 'controversial' opinion for the St fandom last time so lemme do one for the It fandom now
I do not understand the fandom for the Bower's gang. I didn't even realize they existed until a couple months ago. And I swear if I get one more Henry x Patrick ship edit pop up on my fyp on tiktok I am going to lose it.
And my issues isn't with that side of fandom as a whole- some people like the villains, i get it but there is one poignant thing that bothers me. It's when they ship Richie WITH Patrick.
Look, I love a good angst fic. I love to hurt when I read a good fanfic and there are fics that are technically Patrick x Richie but they're not romanticizing that ship and Patrick is the antagonist in that story; those can be good fics. Side note, if anyone checks out those fics I beg you to read the tags, they get real dark.
My issue stems from where a fic will romanticize that ship, especially when Richie and Patrick are in their canon charatizations. Patrick straight up killed his little brother so it's a little weird when ship with Richie, a character that spent a whole summer helping one of his best friends look for his.
Also, that photo of Sadie made me laugh, thank you
Emoji Fandom Opinions
#maybe I should've done a st opinion since you sent sadie#oh well#i was thinking about the bowers gang so this is the opinion i share#Thanks for the ask Rose!#and encouraging my silly ask game#sam answers asks#ask game#richie tozier#patrick hockstetter#it 2017#it 2019
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top 5 newmann moments (canon or headcanon/made up)
U r getting both. Also, this is long bc i have "can't shut up" disease :[
Top 5 Newmann moments (canon)
1. "Say it with me, my man. We are gonna own this bad boy" / "By Jove, we are going to own this thing for sure"- like what can i even say about this scene, the first time i watched it, i had to pause the movie, everything about this scene is just so good, the awkward handshake, the fact that Newt says "my man" and "bad boy", the fact that Hermann smiles at him with a smile rivaling the sunniest of days as he awkwardly holds Newts hand, the fact that they are drift compatible i just. Yeah.
2. Uprising Hug - Hermann breaking his PDA rule to bodily throw himself at Newt, do i need to say more, this was not a normal side hug, this was a "i missed you i missed you so much i am so glad you are back and christ we just did that" hug and newt maybe doesn't even know about it and i bite bite, precursors meet me behind the walmart.
3. Passionate and Fascinating Letters - they had no reason to include this as canon lore but it kills me inside, especially cause i am pretty sure they had emails but these two nerds just decided to do the most yearning thing of writing, assumingly, pages upon pages to eachother, disscussing theories, sharing research, slowly dropping in more private stuff... looking forward to coming home after a day at the labs or wherever they where at the time cause maybe there will be a letter waiting for them in the mail box i am ngh.
4. The choking scene - listen i love angst, i think deKnight or whoever else was responsible for editing out Newts tears in this scene is a coward, but this scene. The emotional impact of it? Hermann not fighting back? Newt looking at him like that in one of the only moments we get to hear and see the real Newt shine thru the Precursors control?? Newt saying "I am sorry, Hermann." Newt in the novel saying: "Help me, Hermann" Yeah. Yeah.
5. In uprising when they pan over Hermanns lab and you see that's it's kinda messy with cups standing everywhere (with. Heavy implication that it's because of the Drift with Newt) and him having a fucking picture of the two of them on his desk even though at this point it's been 10 years, i am ;_; even after Newt left him... he never left Hermanns mind... Aaaa
Honorable mention: the hug cockblocked by Tendos entire body - the little taps on the back, man. The taps.
Headcanonish
1. The little time between Hermann finding Newt seizing on the floor and getting Pentecost bc Newt must have gotten from "unconcious" and "one the floor" to sitting in Hermanns little green shivel chair, concious with a glass of water, also Hermanns quiet "I don't know what to do" when he comes in with Pentecost heavily implies that Hermann did try to comfort him in a Hermann way and listen. Listen.
2. Their first meeting in real life - "they instantly disliked eachother" lives in my head rent free, i want to know what happened, did Newt role up in Kaiju themed shoes while Hermann overdressed because he was nervous? Did they both missread eachothers nonverbal communication things because talking in real life is way different than just writing? What happened that they looked at eachother and mutually went "yo fuck this guy"
3. Newt saying goodbye to Hermann to go to Shao and the build up to that bc i am a glutton for angst, imagine Hermann and Newt after the drift finally figuring some shit out, Hermann maybe thinking no matter what comes they will be together and then Newt slowly starts to pull away. Not that noticable at first, maybe he gets a bit quieter, but then it ramps up, Newt spends more time away from Hermann and then one day he tells him he is leaving for Shao and Hermann has a little crisis over it because how did he missread the signs so bad, ofc Newt would not want to be with him but it hurts watching Newt leave their lab for the last time and i am a big fan of that concept. Bonus points the first few days of Hermann discovering something and wanting to share it with Newt, only to turn around and see that his station is cleaned up and empty and yeah ):
4. I like to think that when the war in the first movie was under full force, they had little moments of vunerability between eachother. Stuff like after a especially tiring day they just wordlessly find their way to the others room and the talk in for them unusual quiet voices and maybe they allow themselves to cry in those moments and it doesn't really matter because they can hold eachother up in these moments. Them learning over time to read eachothers signals. They still yell at eachother and fight but who is gonna call them out if Newt plays his music a little quieter when Hermann is having a bad day or Hermann leaving out food for Newt if he gets too focused on science to take care of himself
5. This is self indulgent but that they have the typical german riveraly of "we come from diffrent regions and we say some words differently and it's common knowledge, but i will fight you because this is not how you say that word, i am correct you are wrong /light hearted" and they tease eachother every chance they get about it
#ty mossy my friend mossy#the ghost answers#coulson is an avenger#long post#i think this is almost 1k words apperantly gg#dw i also hate that uprising is in there so many times i hate this movie why is the newmann so good aaaaarghhhh#pacrim
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yess I love them!! the edits and mood boards and asks make me love them even more~ and I'm obviously very excited about the story, but pls don't feel like you have to post. do it at your own pace. I hope it's "good" busy that you've been and that you're taking care of yourself! I've been going through changes and trying to focus on the good and push through. walks make breathing a bit easier. I also rlly miss my dog.. but I hope to see him and snuggle him in december. until then we have the christmas lights to look forward to! and some new shows! idk if you've watched "young royals" but the 2nd season is coming out soon and it's marked on my calendar heh. but yeahh :]] just pls know I'm gonna come back eventually and most definitely spam your q box with love for the birdies <33
HEHE ty anon!! yes it's a good busy tho im ngl I do need a break AHA I used up all my leave at work for Decemeber but now I've realised it's gonna be 7 weeks until I get a real break AAAA I'm happy to hear that walks have been good for you and stuff AND OMG dogggg I missed my dog so much when I lived away so I feel you!!! I hope you get to see him soon <3 I haven't actually seen Young Royals but I've been told to watch it so I might check that out soon :]] ALSO tysm for the spam I look forward to when I see you next!!!
#raesponses#anonymous#the last show I watched was House of The Dragon#but I'm also thinking of watching that Lord of the Rings show now#lmao I am a nerd AHAHAHA#next chapter of Early Birds will probably be about Aoife sorry :(#but Ill for sure post some Isaac and or Avery filler content inbetween#teehee
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YOU MET SUPER COOL PEOPLE AND HAVE A PARTNER NOW ?!?!!!!!!!!!! explain!
HALDHSJSHSSHWB I HAVE NO IDEA BOW TO START
OKAY OKAT SO UH
MAN ABOUT THE PARTNER THING ID NEED A WHOLE SECOND POST LMAO
But basically, pretty boy in my class, I go “holy shit what the fuck omg”, turns out my best friend talks more with him cause they share a lot of classes together. At the meeting of our schools honors program (which im a part of) I find out he works with music and I need music and auditorial ways to hide clues for my ARG so I go Omg that’s great and like we talk about it over chat and discord and I find out he’s gender-fluid and pan and idk I fell in love all over again and then we became close friends!!! Insert some drama with uh man idk real awkward flirting(??????) and me freaking out about everything and then he confessed and I cried and uh then we got together :D
AS FOR THE COOL PEOPLE OMG
So I went to the winter edition of the HDCC comic con right?? And AAAA OMG SO MUCH HAPPENED
I cosplayed as Nicholas D Wolfwood from Trigun and I WAS SO HAPPY TO BE RECOGNIZED
I WAS WALKING IN HEELS FOR EIGHT HOURS BUT IT WAS WORTH IT AND I ONLY HAD TO TAKE THEM OFF AT THE END CAUSE IT WAS RAINING AND I HAD TO CARRY THREE BAGS AND A GIANT CARDBOARD CROSS TO THE CAR WHILE RUNNING
Also carrying three bags and a giant cardboard cross the entire day was not good for my back BUT I could set the cross (the punisher) down and we’d have a small table Lmaoo
These were the first trigun cosplayers I met!!! THEY WERE SO NICE AND COOL OMG they just stepped out of the room for prejudging for the cosplay contest and then I ran up to them LMAOO
AND VASHS (red coat guy) ARM COULD GLOW IT WAS SO COOL
We ran into them while looking for my friends LMAO
AND THE WOLFWOOD WAS THE SAME WOLFWOOD I MET IN JUNE AT THE CON
Had the best interaction with this vash omg
We were walking somewhere with my group and they just ran up to me from behind, turned around and pointed at me, to which I gasped loudly and pointed back
IT WAS SO IN CHARACTER I LOVED IT
Honorable mentions:
THIS DILUC COSPLAYER WAS SO BEAUTIFUL OMG ITS INSANE
I saw morax outside posing and I had to but AAAA THEY WERE SO NICE
I met the deku cosplayer back in June aswell!!!
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ooohhhh permission to word dump in your ask box??
but no my head is mostly [happy static], i'm just thinking a lot about names and how the 'infantilizing' joke name JollyBaby uses as its public name isn't all THAT dissimilar from "Murderbot", in that can probably both be taken as jokes on the way humans perceive them, except "Murderbot" is private because identity and perception and direction are things it's still struggling with, and the name "SecUnit" is safe, allowing an amount of ambiguity and freedom with regards to "feelings" and "friendship" and "having to decide your life's direction for yourself"
like, yeah humans do basically see SecUnits as murderbots, which is funny and a joke because it's wrong - SecUnit is not a bot, and it is not optimized for Murder; that isn't its job because it is not a combat bot and why would it need to spend so much time babysitting humans then. but also it deactivated its governor module after an incident where it killed its clients, and it isn't actually sure how or why that went down. so maybe "murderbot" isn't so wrong. which is not very funny. and even in NE, Thiago is very pointed about insinuating that SecUnit could have left some Targets alive, and either chose not to or can't help defaulting to killing. which, SecUnit doesn't think he's right or anything, but it rankles. and it Knows that calling itself "murderbot" is going to go down so badly
and then you have Murderbot 2.0, who does not have any of that, uh. baggage. 2.0 does not consider its name private because 2.0 knows exactly what it's for, why it's here, wherr it's going, and how to get to the finish line, and none of that is in conflict with its designation as "Murderbot". 2.0 has its "win condition" written in.
and at the end of Network Effect, seeing SecUnit verbalize a sense of belonging (not as an object, but as a person-with-a-Home) as well as a desire and direction. and surrounded by people who would hear "Murderbot" and associate it with security rather than The Terminator. hhhhgghogh
i think this turned out both longer and more incoherent than i planned for but mobile is a finicky creature that will not let me scroll up or edit so i am very sorry but ALSO thanks So Much for being the push that got me to finally pull this out of my eternal "to read" list. aaaa
ok first of all yall have 24/7 permission to come and word dump in my inbox anytime over whatever intersecting interests we have
and secondly "murderbot as a name is a sort-of joke except it's Not Funny" is a good point!! i guess BabysittingConstruct was taken?
[rest of text under cut]
it's that one night vale tweet that goes like "confused? sounds like you're human. good luck!" except it's not just humans (the audience is shocked and offended). life is so much simpler when you're just MurderWare 2.0: killware on your planet, having perfect alignment between its name and purpose? it's more likely than you think!
and that just brings So Many questions. at which point post-ganaka pit and/or the hack did 1.0 decide on a name? (or even decided to have one?) imo it's interesting that 2.0 has enough of 1.0's memory archives to recognisably be murderbot but doesn't automatically Nope at using murderbot as a name. 2.0's name/purpose alignment aside, it also means that whatever memories 1.0 felt was enough to maintain 2.0's integrity/prevent a killware spree did not also contain the idea that P.S. Hey We Don't Tell People We're Called Murderbot Thanks!!!! different subsets of memories or something.
(2.0 does point out this wasn't in its instruction set, but tbh it's pretty understandable that 1.0 didn't put it in, given it would obviously never think to use it. maybe it assumed 2.0 would use its local feed address if needed?) (except killware ain't got hardware lmao)
this is getting as long as your ask but names are just Very Neat. rereading the setting-feed-ID bit in fugitive telemetry and on the one hand i appreciate that indah didn't insist on it providing a ~Real~ Name Which Is Not SecUnit. but. on the other hand, this is (a) in line with her desire to post a warning of DANGEROUS SECUNIT ON BOARD *siren noises*, and (b) possibly closer to how inanimate software like secsystem is treated, since many preservation bots seem to have names (though idk if they set those in their feed)
ANYWAY names as in "word you call yourself" vs "identifier you want others to call you", etc etc. i don't think this was coherent either but i'm glad i managed to get you around to reading the books!! also you should check out the two short stories if you haven't already
#they're easily findable via google on wired and tor#murderbot#asks#anonymous#long post#........very long#libby crashed on me right halfway through writing this so i can't check for sure#but the way mb outlined its options for a feed name as using feed address = being assumed as bot#suggests that bots don't set their names there either?? idk#edit to add: come join the murderbot discord anon. there's emoteunits. they're great
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Hi there! First of all, I wanted to say I love cherry wine and it lives rent free in my head! Second, I wanted to ask, if it's not a bother, what was Izuna's thought process during the entire story?(what was he thinking when his fist was, ahem, lmao) like, I get the general feel of his feelings(heh) but if it's not a problem I wanted to hear the specifics. I really like your Izuna, he is a very complex and compelling character!
ahhh thank you *^__^*
... honestly i wrote it a while ago, so idk if i remember XD;;; let's see...
mostly "aaa senju let's kill it -- madara is not killing it ??? ok follow his lead but agh (what the entire fuck he's not a beta just like me?? damn i gotta edit my marriage headcanons then) okay okay okay madara wants him i'm just gonna. keep my distances ooH NO YOU DON'T GET TO RUN AWAY WE WON THIS ONE FAIR AND SQUARE ugh this is too disturbing i don't wanna pay closer attention it's.. he's... .... on no the scariest motherfucker ever is all shaky and lost oh no what the fuck are my guts doing tying themselves in knots i want him dead anyway it's not like the marriage headcanon is still relevant i don't have to care i... aaaaa... aaaaaaaa."
then it was "aaaa" until the end to cover up a royal mess of "this is my RIVAL that i HATE and RESENT for getting in the way of my peaceful and happy life but also i spent several years daydreaming about hatesex in a marital context and also my only surviving brother wants him Real Bad". guy was torn between "i have to be madara's voice of reason since he seems to have lost his down a mineshaft" and "!!!! actually for real irl having SEX with my! sexy nemesis!! and getting to see him all weak and shaky and at my MERCY!!! hgghhhhh my libido, my fantasies."
... honestly, if him and madara had been better at sharing responsibilities instead of izuna's only job being to see that his brother's orders were done, then he'd have leaned more to "i have to be the voice of reason and do the hard, necessary thing even against his will", and then he'd have tried to kill tobirama, but he was too used to madara not letting him have the last say or more than just a consulting position so then he was like "oh fuck it FINE we'll do what you want, especially because i also want". so like, that's good for tobirama... XD;; but it did lead to some guilt and self-recrimination in the following days because it was weak-willed of him. izuna knows a lot better than madara does how little they can afford mercy, because madara is a bulldozer of epic proportions who can afford the risk; Izuna is also very strong but he's still normal-strong, not mythical.
my izuna defines himself a lot by the roles he plays for other people, gives himself obligations based on those, and tries to dutifully ignore all the chafing and pain it causes him. (then he camouflages it by being a blithe, sarcastic adorable brat, so nobody notices, because he's not a complainer when it's something serious.) he has obligations as madara's adopted littermate to support him but isn't give the space to do it the way a real littermate would, he's the clan's second in command so he has responsibilities to the clan that sometimes clash with the risks madara wants to take, etc. his main responsibility is to neutralize tobirama and his secondary is to learn as much as he can about him so he can neutralize him, but then madara did the neutralizing and didn't let him finish tobirama off and it turns out izuna didn't know something as huge as his real gender. the first fic had him scrambling to keep up with all the different demands placed on him.
but also, when he was doing the thing with the hand. holy shit he wished it was madara's dick, because then they'd HAVE to keep tobi, and he had just discovered that hazy-eyed, sexually demanding and needy tobirama really did it for him. he does want to have sex with tobirama himself, a lot, but since he has placed hashi and tobi in the role of "maybe spouses one day" in his head he has precise Proper Ideas about the order of things, and the alpha and omega are the coupling that's important to seal the deal; the other combinations are just for fun. also he really really really wants some kind of mark of madara seeing him as his real littermate and not as a youger child/brother, so sharing an omega or even a beta with him is almost more about making sure madara is here and enjoying it, enjoying what izuna set up for him, than about taking care of his own dick. sex is fun but he can have it with anyone anytime, it's not meaningful on its own, but sharing someone with madara is an emotional milestone even if it doesn't lead to a wedding.
this was so damn close to what he secretly really really really wants, and yet it didn't matter and wouldn't happen again, so it was great but also quite emotionally painful. very bittersweet.
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Not going to tag every side, even if they were technically all mentioned but. I'm. Very screaming still.
Pre-episode. Squealing, so much squealing. Remus. I'm just. Remus, but intense. Remus 💚 Anyway, I see Thomas looking horrified- OH ARE WE GETTING TO THE DREAM THING? Are we dealing with The Thing from DWIT??? Aaaaa. Also, Logan? I thought it was supposed to be Virgil. Hm.
Okay, let's- hnnnnnng content warning I happy flapped. Frick I keep squealing, the green smoke and the bear trap in the A of asides. Omg omg omg. FORBIDDEN FRUIT! Is it two am or pm? Gasp! NICO! No Nico, don't jk the date, please. I'm begging you, I can't. (Edit: legendsgates told the server that it was Thomas who texted Nico, not vice versa.) Oh no, he slept through the text notif? Oh no. Logan! Oh, it's two pm. I mean, I figured because of sunlight, but. FFFF 69TH! *snicker* Thomas smirked, too.
Ooh, daily schedule. Degree a couple degrees! Five am Thomas is a bastard. Logan is… very whelmed by all the Thomases. Oh boy, this schedule is… not going well. Snort. Don't mention it. You don't have the time. Did he schedule time for scheduling? That's a lot of alarms.
ARM!!!! Oh is that a bear trap? Oh. Yup. Whoops, that's- oh. Nope. He's fine. Old?? Aging? NICO IN REAL LIFE OMFG AAAAH! HE HAS A FACE!!! Oh. Aging. Hm. Okay, so he bear trap was less physical, more like Remus is trapping Thomas's thoughts. Neat! Also I have to take a break right, now I cannot handle the dramatic music and his face omfg. Aaaaaaaah. Okay I'm good maybe. Oh! That's the face from the thumbnail, nice. Green light in his hair looks nice.
Aw, Logan is concerned about him. He's a good boy. And yikes that's a lot of um. Filth. Is that a nail? "Muck" is- Remus, points for effort, but no, dear. I mean, only if you say it outloud, backwards. K-Cum. Okay, you know what? I'll allow it.
Remus. Rearranging his sentence is less intimidating than you think. I think he's putting back(?) Caressing? A book of Broadway… something. "You couldn't turn anything on, if you tried." WOW, WAY TO BE WRONG, LOGAN. I mean. You know. Uh. I'm just holding this attraction for a friend, it's not mine-
Thomas looks resigned. Hmm. Shiny green notebook, nice. Does that say "call updog?" Mmm. Yep. Yep it did. Lot of Updog on there, on the other hand, Remus's handwriting is gorgeous, wow. Dinner with Updog (can't cancel that again) I may have injured myself laughing at some point.
This. This is that point. Oh my gosh. Who. So freaking close. The freaking tension! Did they censor damn? Yeah, sounds it. FFFFF LOGAN. Janus and Logan wine moms confirmed. Oh my gosh. He just freaking rips the cork out with his teeth. Chug. There's, like so much tension in this episode. Predicting that the screw is him "screwing" with his mind? Yep, nothing. Hmm. What if I choke. Is that Remus's influence? Or Virgil's? "I'd be screwed" Ha! Oh, wow, Logan! Look how much you're putting Thomas's mental health first! Wonder what was on Remus's second list…
Okay what's going on with the roomba. Ayyyy, Intrusive Thoughts! He's so good in this, Logan. WHAT KIND OF RUBE GOLDBERG GARBAGE- oh, garbage disposal, wow this was well set-up oh my gosh, the drawing attention to the garbage disposal, the book he placed there. Never stack your knives on top of anything, guys!
The little 'yes!' Oh. Oh. Um. Okay. Wow. "I don't care about the knife, but the soap!" You guys, no, this can't be canon help. Oh he's cleaning! Ohhhhh, eyepatch. Love it. This feels very reminiscent of Dealing With Anxiety way back when. But with more Remus! Oh no he got his string caught in his weiner.
Bratwurst, whatever. I bet that was not originally in the script. I.e., accident. Hey, Kingdom Hearts! I know he is. Thomas, Logan, or Virgil? The chords before "He said you're wanting to be more honest"!!!!!
Cue freakout. Yeah, it's Virgil. Man if Remus keeps setting these things up, he's like a genius, the physics involved, geez. Oh. Well, listen, not all experiments work the first time. Oh nope. There it- nope. Hmm. Pink panther-esque? Um, sir that's glowing. Sir, that's a keyblade. Oh, Nico again. Coffee, he says, after guzzling wine. Puzzle? Cognitive distortions!!! "It was a stab" Virgil!!! Logan's such a good boy, oh my gosh, I can't. Yeah. Sounds pink panther. I beg your pardon??? Whomst? Love the 'ooh~' in there. Haha, just stops at Logan. Oh, he's trying to get to Logan- ffffff, Remus, oh my gosh. Okay, why are there text alerts but no new texts? Remus, did you wear his shirt while getting stabbed? Rude. Ha! Got an ad for Anxiety/stress, that's funny. Aw, ketchup. Logan how can you be so wrong? Ha! Solenium lycopersicum again. "Yes. You. Am." Help I love him so much. Nico napkin? It's not me, right? He's not contacting him? (Edit: It was me. 😔) Okay, so the thoughts are being very tied up into anxiety, with like being alone, but he's also obviously scared to take a step towards relationship? Maybe??? Man, Remus is so good at these things. Okay, also stress about someone being in his house? Just high stress in general, I gu- !!!!!!!!! Oh hi.
No, Remus, your puppet is being mean- oh, no, that's the, he's just stabby. Mutual stabby? You have no idea how hard I'm looking at his eyeshadow right now.!!!! MUSIC??? Song? Oh, okay, cool. Ahhh, what your momma gave ya. Remus, omfg he's so pouty at lack of stabbing. It's not lost on me that the lighting is purple. WOW, Logan. Willing to see his merit. Squeak squeak flick. He's not pretending he doesn't- yeah. Oh tongue lollipop. What was in his ear??? That he ate???
Manicure on severed hand. Ignoring dummies for dummies. Aw, does Nico have a carrot next to his name? WOAH WHAT!!!! Holy crap, fandom was right-
WAIT ARE HIS EYES ORANGE NO WAIT NO.
THEY ARE!
No, I wasn't ready for this theory to be right! Idk if…… rage/anger/wrath is orange through Logan or if that's a Logan thing or if he's turning into orange, gosh, I,,, really hope not. Nico calling! Ohhhhh, Remus likes that.
Ahhh, Nico. Aww they're cute. Wait, is Logan supposed to be angry at Thomas? Oh. I really liked Procrastination as orange, and. Hmmmmmm. Oh man. We got some. Good, yet heartbreaking Logan there.
Oh my gosh. I'm like. Almost shaking. Oh my gosh. I like. Don't know what to think. Love that totally real phone convo, though with Hello Fresh. Aaaa, what even do I think?! I'm so concerned! On multiple levels! But aw, Nico. I'm reeling. That angry Logan changed everything. Squints that seems lot a lot of paprika. Nico date! Patton!!! Roman!!! Virgil!!! Aw, Logan. Rome didn't fall in a day. "He's giving him permission," WAIT HE'S ANGRY ABOUT THAT TOO??? Okay, Logan's calming down, being okay. OH NO OH NO OH NO THAT WAS HELLA COOL WITH JANUS BUT THE EYES!!!! Crap, orange is anger. Damnit. Chills.
ALSO I had a belated realization at about Janus being in the tree and freaked out about it all day so expect something on that soon.
#sanders sides#remus sanders#logan sanders#character!thomas#nico flores#new video reaction#ts spoilers
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kalopsia; s. wb + reader + k. ty
pairing: seo woobin + reader + kim taeyoung
genre: angst, fluff, hanahaki au
word count: 10.4k
warnings: blood, hospital visit, light cursing, mentions of sickness, death, anxiety, and alcohol/drinking
summary: in each passing day that you grew fonder of taeyoung, more petals would come out of your lips. your heart, a garden of the most beautiful flowers, only that it was also a reminder of your unrequited love. and with the withering petals, woobin can't bear to simply watch.
-- video teaser; story playlist; masterlist; taglist form 🥀
a/n: my longest fic so far! aaaa this is for a fic exchange with the amazing @arieswonjin. ilysm <3 i enjoyed writing this a lot and i hope we can do more exchanges in the future! also, special thanks to @starrycrvty who helped me with the editing process and cheered me up while i was losing a braincell in the development of the scenes. you’re awesome and ily. <3
hope you will enjoy this ride. send me feedback through my ask/reblogs! i’ll appreciate it a lot :>
taglist: @bunnyseongmin
[ will edit this again in the future; ]
regardless of how the day was already ending, flowers seemed to not lose their vibrancy. whenever a gust of air blew by, it would dance along with the wind’s melody. you took a breath, the floral scent easing your body which was probably hugged with nothing but fatigue out of the ruthless writing sessions you gave yourself for hours.
a mélange of colors in the sky; the red hue engulfing the orange tint. it was funny how despite that war of colors, in the end, the sky will turn pitch-black with scattered twinkling stars.
sure, spring was one of the most beautiful seasons. but that small amount of fondness for the aforementioned season will never be enough to make you want to experience it for the whole year. life played favorites though— it was spring for you all year round.
you smiled to yourself, trying to shrug off the thought. good thing you weren’t in your room and the sidewalk wasn’t the quietest place to be at during this hour. it offered a space for distractions. most shops were closing, students were to go home from long hours of studying, workers with a weariness that yours couldn’t match walking to hubs for some sort of leisure activities. if you were in some kind of company work, you’d probably be in the same position. going for a drink or two with friends after working hours. but well, you weren’t.
instead of a bustling office requiring formal attire; you were usually in your pajamas, musing about life and writing about it through means of prose and poetry. a young published author who was known for having a great appreciation for flowers. in a few months, another book will be launched under your name. its spine holding all the papers inked by your love, not for flowers or anything else, but for a childhood friend who seemed to not have taken notice of the flower that began growing in your lungs— a rose.
reaching the convenience store, you contemplated which instant food would serve as your dinner tonight. ordered food seemed to have bored out your taste buds, a little change was needed. and to say, probably a more unhealthy choice. maybe a dosirak would do or a kimbap and peel sausage.
as you were to enter, a call of your name put your feet to a halt. you turned to look at the speaker. “oh hey, woobin?”
a weak smile graced his lips, opening the door for you. he spoke after the both of you had entered the store. “tired of ordered meals?”
“kind of,” you replied, a sigh punctuating your words. you walked up to the aisle of dosirak. the sight of it made you swiftly cross it out of your options. you wanted something else. “how about you?”
“craved for ice cream,” answered woobin who, unlike you, had made his mind in settling with a pint of almond ice cream.
grabbing some triangle kimbaps, you looked at him with a raised brow. “wouldn’t that harm your ever so majestic voice?”
if you made money through books, woobin earned his through singing. it ranged from covers to original song compositions. he was quite popular with all the ballad songs he covered that without a lie was a heart-melter. if home and serenity would be defined using a voice, woobin’s would be the perfect definition for it.
“not really.” a chuckle was heard from him as he watched you grab a cup of instant ramyun. “well, wouldn’t that harm your ever so wonderful brain?”
you shook your head but laughed at the remark. woobin had been your friend for quite a long time, probably one of the closest. light and playful banters seemed to have become a part of your usual talks.
walking towards the counter, you settled your items which the worker scanned quickly. the amount flashed by the small screen, and you pulled your wallet out to pay. woobin followed shortly.
“a healthy alternative after ice cream?” you asked, noticing a herbal medicine pouch being placed in his bag.
woobin hunched his shoulders up, and proceeded to go out of the store.
a soft breeze welcomed you as you stepped out. the sidewalk was no longer as busy as it was earlier and the sky was losing its colors bit by bit as if the flickering lights in the queued lampposts were sucking it all.
“so how is it coming out?” woobin asked as he walked beside you. your apartment and his were only a few blocks away. his apartment was inside a street, away from the main road filled with noises coming from horns and speeding cars, while yours was in a complex near the road. you liked watching people from up the balcony, it was like watching a film, only that everything that was happening was real and only the made-up dialogues of the strangers were sheer fiction.
“minor editings left,” you replied. “also, next week the possible art for the cover will be out. want to check it out with me?”
he didn’t reply right after as if he was mentally checking his schedule, weighing if he was free or not. though his answer indicated that the things he had to do had flexible deadlines. “sure, just tell me when.”
“i’ll call you once they message me about it.” a cough ended your sentence, you covered your mouth as you did so. something smooth touching your palm. it was happening… again.
“are you alright?” concern evident on woobin’s face, he went closer to you. his hand on your back, rubbing circles to ease your coughing.
but he was aware it would not be enough to stop it. a rub or any sort of medicine wouldn’t stop it. like how will those be enough to stop a flower from blooming in your lungs?
it was the reason why even though you admired the beauty of spring, you also disliked it.
flowers were in full bloom during spring. the way each petal was colored was pleasing to the eye. however, such beauty should have just stayed where they were supposed to be. on the ground, decorating the world with its vibrant color. it should only be there instead of clinging onto someone's lungs after failing to get their love returned.
hanahaki, a disease that causes someone to cough up flower petals when their love is one-sided.
there were different stages of it. at first, it was only a mere cough. something one would mistake for a regular cough. until petals come along with it on the next stage. followed by a mix of blood, acute chest pain, and shortness of breathing in the last.
two ways to resolve it. either undergo a surgery which will cost a fortune at the risk of wiping out not only your emotions but also the memory of all people you are close with or have your love reciprocated. inability to obtain any of the mentioned cures will result in the most unfortunate event. no more pain from the flower sprouting in your chest. no ache, coming from the bitter taste of being reminded every single night that your love wasn’t reciprocated— death.
“i’m alright.” it took quite a while before your coughing subsided. you were sure petals were already accumulated on your hand. bringing your hand down, you let go of the red petals. luckily, no blood. but you didn’t expect less. this disease had been giving you restless nights lately, worsening and worsening.
a sigh left woobin’s lips as he shook his head. “that’s not the look of someone alright for me.”
the rest of the walk was silent. woobin insisted on walking you home, to which you had no power to decline. even if you told him no, he still ended up doing so.
by the time you reached the front of your unit, night had already won the clash in the sky. the stars glimmering above at their triumph.
“don’t work up until late,” woobin reminded.
you smiled, wishing you could tell him that it wasn’t the writing that made you get less rest every evening. it was the rose that inhabited your lungs. “i will not.”
“here,” said woobin, handing you the bag of the things he bought earlier.
the ice cream was no longer of its same form as it was earlier. its mist soaked the insides of the plastic bag. “and why are you giving it to me?”
“just take it. you know in movies heartbroken people would eat ice cream as they mope around.”
the lighthearted remark made you laugh. woobin had his ways to make you feel better. “and what about the medicine?”
“you’re probably sad, but that won’t mean that you should not take care of yourself.” he was aware of your feelings for someone else. he was aware of the red roses in your chest. he was aware that your feelings weren’t reciprocated.
“makes sense.” you flashed him a smile, scrambling on your bag to take out one of the triangle kimbaps. the item tossed to his direction which he caught smoothly. “take that at least.”
“well, thank you?” he gazed at the food you gave him before returning the smile. “have a good night, y/n. call me if you need anything.”
you hummed as a response, watching woobin make his way to the stairs, descending afterward. another gust of wind passed by and you rushed to go inside. staring at the now melted ice cream, you shook your head. a laugh escaping your lips as you closed the door.
how long has it been? you thought.
collapsing on the bed, you stared at the ceiling. the coughing had already stopped, yet the burning pain in your chest remained.
what was the flower again?
a rose?
maybe the stabbing ache was caused by its thorns that came to hug your lungs. you sighed as if that would altogether pull out the suffocating sensation— of course, it wouldn’t. it would never.
a curt beep on your phone pulled you out of your cloudy thoughts, reaching for it to read the notification. a message from one of your friends which read,
it’s your debut book’s first anniversary today! congrats, y/n.
for a moment, your lips curled into a faint smile, so weak that it didn’t even last for a minute. sending a quick reply to show gratitude over the thought, you allowed yourself to drown over the same thoughts.
that book with inked poetry all meant to deliver a single message— your feelings for taeyoung. the words laced in each rhyme was a cover of the affection you had for him, and the petals you cough each night was his answer.
a childhood friend who you used to be neighbors with. he still lived under the comforts of his parents’ home, while you moved to live alone in an apartment, desperately seeking independence.
or maybe seeking for a way to not see his face every single day and be reminded that his favorite flower, a rose, had been blooming in your lungs.
the brightness taeyoung had never seemed to fade, his smile still carried sunlight of its own. a contagious one that would make anyone have the same smile (but maybe not as bright). his bubbliness was a comfort. whenever around him, the butterflies causing chaos in your stomach would make you forget about the evening ache he was subconsciously bringing.
taeyoung, ever since you were young, loved books and flowers. you preferred other things though, but somehow you found yourself conforming to what he liked. being the person you spent most of your time with, his interest became yours. whenever he would tell you about something he became inclined to, you would check it as quick, forcing yourself to like it. it was a repeated action that was implanted as a habit. in the process of trying to be his ideal person, your own identity was thrown away. a trap filled with nothing but thorns of his favorite flower.
shifting to your side, your eyes landed on the wall just above your working table. photographs of roses were stuck on it, along with verses other people might find painfully beautiful. you knew your words better though. its beauty was a mere delusion. hiding behind the pretty words were ugly cries— your reality.
another cough, a petal escaping from your lips. it danced in the air as it was freed, only to meet the cold floor of your room. with flowers blooming in the chest, you closed your eyes drifting to sleep. the pain no longer mattered as it was the usual sensation.
a soft instrumental had taken over your apartment. the sun was already up, its light filtering through the blinds. your potted plants were probably thankful for its generosity. you took a sip of your coffee, staring at the few words written in the new document reserved for a new manuscript. writing, or at least conceptualizing the main theme, of your next book was your top priority today. however, the continuous notifications coming from your close peers dragged you out of your bubble every single time.
with you celebrating the first anniversary of your debut book (which basically marked the day of your debut as a published writer), receiving messages was plain inevitable. your editor even asked if you’d be up for a drink later this night. an offer you turned down. silence and alone time this evening were everything you craved for.
putting your laptop on rest, you grabbed your own copy of withered roses, your book. it was silly how you decided to have perfectly blooming and lively roses as its cover when it contained the very title, your own withered roses hiding through beautiful verses.
flipping through the pages, you stopped on a certain poetry. undeniably, one of your favorites. it was one of the first poems that you wrote for this collection. grabbing a paper and a pen, you scribbled the words down, the same words still describing your situation perfectly. and maybe that was the reason why your condition was worsening.
you stuck the paper on the wall, just beside a photograph of a blue rose. for a moment, you stared at it, smiling at the words as if those were some kind of lost friends who rekindled with you. you smiled as if those were something that you should be smiling at.
three doorbells and a few knocks. a heavy sigh came out of your lips, tearing your eyes away from the poem. slow steps towards the door, the person on the other seemed rather impatient for the doorbell continuously made a sound. it was enough for another breath to escape the confines of your mouth.
swinging the door open, your eyes widened. the sight penetrating quickly to your senses and the sensation you hated the most overpowering you, your heartbeat loud. really loud. “taeyoung?”
for him to be able to give you the most wonderful feeling of warm cheeks and butterflies and still be able to poison you using his favorite flower lethal to your body, you wondered when it would end.
“it’s withered roses’ first anniversary!” his smile was a band-aid, too fleeting of a cure for you. he lifted a pot of cycnoches orchids, something that was probably from his parent’s flower shop. “here’s a gift for you.”
“thank you.” as he handed you the pot, you gave him enough space to enter your unit. placing it just beside the other plants you had, all coming from their shop, you turned to look at taeyoung. a pout appearing in your countenance. “you should have brought food.”
taeyoung scratched his head at your sudden words, a sheepish smile curving on his lips. “well, we can order.”
at the sight of a slightly flustered taeyoung, a string of laughter became your immediate response. “i was kidding.”
you went back to the couch to sit with taeyoung following you shortly. the music playing in your room had long ago stopped, something you only noticed after taeyoung came. after your awareness came to hug you once again.
his eyes wandered as if it was his first time in your unit. it was definitely not his first visit, to count how many times he’d been there was also impossible. just like how you frequented their flower shop, he was usually in your unit as well. maybe it was due to him being used to your company. childhood friends, former neighbors— inseparable, but in a manner that went nothing beyond romantic feelings. at least to his side.
glancing at him, you followed where his gaze was fixated on. it was focused on the wall that held photographs of roses and the poem you scribbled earlier from your book.
“wasn’t that the eighth poem in your book?” intrigued, he looked at you with a brow raised.
you didn't have to meet his gaze. a smile slowly crept out of your visage. it didn't hold an emotion though, more like a simple forced curve. "it is."
"i love it." it was a genuine remark, but somehow, instead of giving you a warm feeling, it did the opposite. standing up, he reached for the paper, detaching it from the wall. the words slipping out of his tongue as he read it out loud.
heat-haze;
sunrays visible at the nighttime daydream
under the cloud of deep distance
built a sensation of unrequited affection
innumerable actions--
satisfied, captured by mere existence.
nevertheless, the heart was jinxed
in a presence,
a love,
i cannot withdraw from.
as the final four lines were uttered, he looked at you in the eyes, a hint of gloom clouding his misty orbitals. he had the poem memorized, but it was only the words he had carved in his mind. the feelings sealed with it, unnoticed.
taeyoung was the reason why you began writing. a simple comment of his saying that you would make a good author and your words were all prettily laid out made you want to write.
or perhaps it was not the writing you were chasing for, rather the speaker who told you that he wished to see more of your writing.
for others, writing could be a form of escape. to be under a little spell that would pull someone out of their reality. you wished you were the same. you wished your writing wasn't your reality.
anywhere you go, you were surrounded by your reality. the potted plants you should not be taking care of if it wasn't for his interest in plants and flowers. the book that was published a year ago and the soon to be published one. the colors that accented your unit which he said was such a relaxing palette. the words in your head. the flower in your chest. it was the reality made out of nothing but the person you loved.
“wait.” taeyoung’s voice snapped you out of your thoughts. he was peering over petals of red roses that were on your table.
it seemed like you forgot to clean it up earlier. well, you didn’t expect anyone to actually go to your house. such a realization was thought late.
“were you playing with roses?” taeyoung asked, frowning as he looked at it.
you’d consider that a stupid question, but taeyoung didn’t know a thing about your condition so you let it pass. there was no way in hell you’d tell him about it now. not yet. “yes.”
“so how was it?” the excitement and giddiness leaking in his tone as he plopped down next to you on the couch didn’t help. what was he even referring about? your hanahaki disease? what? as if hearing your question, he clarified his query, “does he love you?”
ah, the popular he loves me, he loves me not.
there was no need for that though, the petals you vomit each night was a clear answer. you smiled, leaning back to get seated more comfortably. “he doesn’t.”
the way those two words left your lips surprised you. no hint of hurt, sadness, or anything— it was laced with a calm tone as if retreating, surrendering, accepting. will it really be your fate?
taeyoung sighed, the smile he once had melting away. “don’t worry, it’s just a silly game anyway. the person you love probably loves you too.”
you turned to look at him. a mistake. kind eyes met yours, reassuring you of something you had already known for so long was false. there was no need to hang into that ray of hope when you were aware that it was not the case.
eyes glossy with the tears that never dared to fall, you offered him a tight-lipped smile. “thank you.”
he grinned, which you assumed was out of relief before he looked at your wall once again. “why use roses though? there are other flowers out there.”
“well, isn’t it the first flower you’d think of when you hear the word love?” you replied. “it means a lot more depending on its color, but in simple terms, it just means love and romance.”
“you seem to know a lot about it,” he remarked, not tearing his gaze away from the photograph. “why blue out of all colors?” he asked referring to the photograph you had on your wall.
“it stands for an impossible miracle.” a clear depiction of your situation. no word followed that sentence, and good thing taeyoung didn’t ask any further about why. maybe it was due to his perception that poetry writers had other symbolism hidden behind their verses, even when there was nothing and the message was just in front of their readers.
“roses are wonderful, aren’t they?”
not when they are blooming in your chest. not when its thorn embraces your lungs. not when it suffocates you. your thoughts were loud in your head. but you knew you can’t blame it for inhabiting your body. you can’t even have taeyoung blamed for it either. it was the universe’s fault for laying such a disease in humanity. “they truly are.”
“it’s my favorite,” taeyoung mused.
there was a smile that sat on your lips, a peck of gloom decorating its corners. “i know.”
how could you not when its petals were the ones that kept on coming out of your lips every evening?
a ringing coming from a device shattered the silence in your apartment. but this time, it wasn’t from yours. it was from taeyoung who was now about to leave your unit, his parents had called him to go and do his tasks in the flower shop. seemed like he had forgotten about it, considering that he’d been with you for almost an hour.
“take care and have fun for the rest of the day!” taeyoung ruffled your hair and left. his touch lingering.
your room suddenly felt empty. as if taeyoung had taken all the vibrancy it had after stepping out of it. taeyoung was your paradox— a home that housed nothing but emotions you shouldn’t regard as home, but you did. he was your home.
you coughed, a petal threatening to escape. the windpipe blocked, your chest tightening. a sorrowful smile was your only answer to the ache that was resurfacing. your gaze didn't falter, still locked on the photograph of the blue rose. to no one in particular, few words were whispered, “they are beautiful.”
“remind me again why i’m here with you?” woobin looked at the almost empty store; sleepwears displayed from the first showcase up to the last rack. it was a week after the first anniversary of your book, things had seemed to tranquil much more.
shopping during the working hours on weekdays was certainly one of the best things. the absence of people led to different advantages like having no long queue to the cashier, no people to deal with as you browse the clothes, and overall just serene shopping.
you didn’t mind it when a salesperson would go and ask you about what type or design you were looking for, they were probably getting bored having to stand for a long time and entertain just a few passing potential customers. the mall’s theme song was playing from a distant speaker, almost inaudible and muffled by the sweet piano music playing in the shop itself. keeping it up to the theme of the shop, if there was a bed in there, you’d probably be brought to sleep right after. something you weren’t sure to consider as a good aspect or bad aspect of the clothing store.
“well, you just finished posting another wonderful cover which hit a hundred thousand views in an hour, we must celebrate, right?” you replied as you picked up a pair of pastel plaid pajamas, checking the fabric quality to which you quickly marked as spandex.
woobin reached for the design next to what you picked up, eyeing it with less interest than you had. “but why are we buying pajamas?”
“because i need it.” a chuckle was heard from you after he let go of a sigh at your words. you stepped closer to him, peering over his shoulder to check the design he was checking.
“by the way,” he began, not wanting to ask more as he was aware of your love for comfortable clothes (pajamas being the top of it along with sweaters and hoodies). “i’m applying for a job in this pharmaceutical company located in another town as a medicinal chemist.”
“oh? the one you mentioned before?” you watched him go through another set of sleepwear.
it was a sudden reminder that before being known as the seo woobin who sang various songs in innumerable gigs and had built a name in the music side of youtube, he was the seo woobin who excelled in his major, organic chemistry. for years of him not applying for an actual job as a chemist anywhere and pursuing his dream career, that fact was swept out of your mind.
you met woobin in one of your electives— a chemistry class that you would probably have to retake only if he didn’t help you out. the limited slots in language classes were the ones you put your blame on, but it wasn’t completely that bad. after all, you had ended up making a good friend in the class you despised the most.
“are you going to quit singing?” worry was painted all over your face which earned a soft amused laughter from woobin. you adore his singing a lot, the comfort his mellifluous voice could bring was distinct, something you’d grown ever so fond of.
“you know, i just want to put my degree into proper use.” woobin smiled reassuringly as he tossed you a set of pajamas with the design he guessed was what you were searching for, the one with doodled roses decorating it from bottom to the top. “kind of had the urge to get a secured job.”
the clothing dumped to you went unnoticed as you fired off another question. “what about the album deal? i thought you already had one. what’s going to happen with that?”
“i will still sing.” there was no need to doubt woobin’s calm tone as he said those words. “don’t worry about it. i love singing and i’ll not stop doing it.”
“make sure to.” you walked towards another rack, finally noticing the pajamas woobin had thrown in your way earlier. staring at it for a moment, the initial thoughts about the flower easily came into your head. “this one’s cute. i’ll take it.”
unconvinced, woobin raised a brow at you. “are you sure you found it cute or there’s another reason behind you liking it?”
the other reason he was pertaining to was clear, enough to become a slap rather than a mere reminder. do you really like it or do you simply want the person you like to notice you for having something close to their favorite thing?
feeling lost to your own set of likes seemed like a normal thing. mind plagued with taeyoung’s interests that it mattered more than yours. at this point, you weren’t sure if you were doing it for him to like you back and finally get the fuzzy feeling of being loved back or you were simply desperate to stop the flowers from budding in your chest.
“i like it,” you answered after a long while of spacing out. you even nodded your head as if trying to convince yourself from a statement you weren’t sure whether to label as a lie or a truth.
“if you say so.” an indistinct sigh came across woobin, subtly shaking his head in disbelief. he didn’t go deeper into the topic though, instead uttered some words that made a bright smile grace your lips. “go and choose whichever you want. it’s on me today.”
wearing the new pair of a loose shirt and pajama, you gazed at your reflection. a curve spotted on your lips, satisfied with the new purchase. demeanor dropping as a familiar sensation crawled up to your senses. the calm night was taken aback when your chest began tightening. a petal quickly rising, stuck on your throat afterward as you tried to hold it in. however, it was a failed attempt. the urge strong that you had to run towards the bathroom to release all the petals of the vivid red rose that nurtured in your body, watered with nothing but unreturned affection.
just like any other night, the sickness came to do its visit. its terrible reminder playing in your mind. the blood that mingled with the petals was hard to discern as they were colored in the same hue; it tasted different though.
a ringing in your head as your vision started to blur, not noticing how tears had formed in your eyes as the pain emerged to be stronger than it usually was. the intensifying ache wasn’t the only one that made your tears fall. all your unnoticed efforts, regardless of how big they were, were the ones that brought salty tears. your knees buckled, allowing you to meet the ground unceremoniously. it was getting harder to breathe and the cold bathroom tiles were your only company.
it was a twisted melody. in each cough, petals would escape. it didn’t even take a long time for you to be surrounded by a sea of red petals. what a sickening view, you thought. how do people regard roses as something so beautiful?
a memory.
“dear, taeyoung is outside, waiting for you.” a few knocks on the door accompanied your mother’s call.
it was a hot summer, the sun giving no mercy with its ray as if angry with how it was neglected during the cold seasons. with a few remaining days before the start of a new quarter, you probably had spent most of your time in your room. oftentimes will you go out only at the call of a childhood friend.
“y/n.” as if stepping out of your thoughts, taeyoung had your name wrapped by his cheerful voice. “mom made homemade ice cream. come on, get out of your room already.”
if your own mother wasn’t able to pull you out of your room, taeyoung was. your feet quick to move as you checked on your reflection by the mirror, practicing a smile and some silent dialogues. all to which you weren’t really able to show when you opened the door. a faint blush crept on your cheeks as soon as your gaze landed on the bright smile taeyoung had on his own. butterflies flew free in your stomach, heart pounding.
maybe it was the way taeyoung would talk to you with an unmatched enthusiasm even if your words make no sense. maybe it was because of the vibrancy he had all around him that simply could bring comfort to anyone he was with. maybe it was due to the fact that he had been with you since you were a kid.
or maybe it was just because he was him, kim taeyoung, that your crush began budding as a love. and as soon as it did, his favorite flower, a rose, was caught in your lungs during middle school.
occupied by the sensation, your mind didn’t attend to the continuous doorbells ringing in your apartment. in a few, the door was opened, rushed footsteps along with your name uttered in sheer concern echoed in your unit. with the air knocked out by the relentless flower, from red your vision turned pitch black.
when dusk fell, woobin was already in the hospital with a drink in his hand, which was meant to be given to you. he’d been going back and forth to the hospital and his apartment to bring you food and some other items you needed.
the scene he witnessed last night was still fresh in his mind, the panic lingering. on your cold bathroom floor, you laid unconscious with petals of roses surrounding your figure. he was swift to get help, which ended up with you having to stay for almost a day in the lonely ward. your room making you feel sicker.
“oh, you’re back?” serim, the head nurse and a close friend of woobin, said as he walked towards the other.
woobin nodded, tracing the track he’d been stepping into since this morning. it was as if he could easily go to your room even with eyes closed. serim followed from behind and before he could say a word, woobin had already found your room empty. finally, he offered the nurse attention. “where’s y/n? already discharged?”
“yes, they just went to talk with their doctor for a few more reminders.” serim shook his head disapprovingly. “they should stay longer, but they seem like a very busy person.”
“y/n should just follow their doctor.” a sigh punctuated woobin’s sentence.
“and you should too,” said serim.
woobin began walking his way back to the nurse station reception to wait for you. “my case is different.”
“you’re slowly losing your voice because of your own sickness.” serim’s sigh was way heavier than woobin’s, his orbitals painted with worry. being one of woobin’s closest friends, he knew all about it. “orchids are blooming in your lungs, how are you different?”
a glare was darted to serim’s direction which became woobin’s sole reply since they both saw you approaching them. serim hunched his shoulders up, shaking his head once again before walking away.
“thank you for taking care of me,” you told woobin who handed you the drink he bought outside.
“of course,” woobin said, leading the way out.
there weren't a lot of people in the lobby. only a few were there, either the nurses turning for their night shifts or the relatives of those people staying in the hospital for the night.
“it’s getting worse, isn’t it?” woobin’s words slowed down your pace, your head turned to him as he continued. “shouldn’t you start trying to move on and finding someone who can actually love you back?”
“what do you mean?”
woobin shrugged. “it seems like it’s the only way for you to be properly healed.”
yes, moving on and falling for someone else was a considered cure as well. a change of feelings could remove the flower naturally. but doing so was easier said than done.
a sad smile became evident on your brim. how could you do that? you thought. “i can’t just fall in love with someone like it’s nothing, woobin.”
“give me a chance then.”
woobin’s words were powerful enough to make your feet stop from moving, to catch your breath and make it halt. it can’t be. you looked at him confused, wishing that you misunderstood what he said. you wished that it would be his regular sentences as he tried to make you feel better. you wished what you were thinking was a mere thought, an idea, a false gut feeling. “woobin?”
it was a question that didn’t need any elaboration. the simple call of his name with such perplexed tone was enough as a query. the same gloomy smile on his lips matched what you had earlier, accompanied by his faint chuckles. “yes,” to your horror, he confirmed. he let go of a breath, something that gave him a boost to finally utter the words he’d been meaning to say. “i’m in love with you and all i want is for the flowers in your chest to stop blossoming.”
“that means…”
to experience the same thing you had been experiencing. to give someone the same taste of your suffering. to plant a flower in someone’s chest and water it every day as you were failing to return their provided affection. it was something you didn’t wish to do, an extremely unfavorable idea which reminded you of how the universe had been unfair from the very start.
“yes, and they aren’t beautiful.” a tight-lipped smile became apparent on his countenance as he stared at the glass doors of the hospital. a few more steps and both of you will be out of the place the two of you frequented on different days, but for the same means— a fleeting cure for the ache caused by hanahaki. “the pain we’re both carrying out of unrequited love. it isn’t beautiful, y/n.”
a lump in your throat stopped any possible reply from coming out of your lips. you wanted to apologize, but an apology from taeyoung wasn’t the thing you’d want to hear from him after you confess and you assumed such wouldn’t give comfort to woobin as well. an apology wouldn’t be enough when you were already striping away someone with their lives.
rather untimely, the door opened, revealing taeyoung. he was holding a basket of flowers, probably for some kind of delivery. with hinted concern, he walked towards you and woobin. “what are you doing here?”
“stomach ache.” regardless of your mangled thoughts, it was a surprise that you were able to respond as soon. it was as if such sickness was a practiced lie.
“is that so?” taeyoung looked at woobin to confirm and the older just nodded not wanting to speak more. he turned to you, his worry dropping a few levels, but was still obvious. “let me just bring this flower to a friend and i’ll walk you home. will that be alright?”
you looked at woobin, silently asking if he would be okay with that. it was such a silly act, of course, he would be against it. but what can he do? just like him, the person you had grown fond of hasn't reciprocated your feelings yet. both of you probably wishing the same thing— for the flowers to wither and be gone. for the restless nights to end. to be loved back. the only difference was woobin was so focused on you that he had forgotten about his condition which was worsening at the same rate as yours.
he patted your shoulder. “sure, i need to head somewhere else anyway. get home safely?”
“i will, you too, woobin.” you gave woobin a smile, guilt sitting in your stomach which was continuously twisting.
woobin weakly mirrored the feature before turning his back to you and taeyoung. as he was stepping out of the establishment, he looked at the twinkling stars, hoping this night would be kinder. but he was certain he’d be the one coughing out orchids tonight, probably worse than your roses.
the stars from above watched you and taeyoung walk on the now empty sidewalk. even without the illumination coming from the lampposts, it was all so bright. all in gratitude for the moon which served as a ball of shining light in the clear night sky.
"you've been sick since we were kids, but you never told me what with." taeyoung broke the silence, uncertain if he should go further. “was it really because of stomach ache earlier?”
a chill ran down your spine, making you inwardly shiver. that wasn’t the talk you were so ready to face. and after what happened last night, you can’t simply bring another lie. however, telling taeyoung everything wasn’t something you planned to do as well. afraid that rejection would become the final straw.
taeyoung stopped dead on his tracks, looking at you with nothing but sheer concern. “is there anything bothering you?”
you gave him a smile which was obviously forced. “don’t worry about it.” you urged him to continue to walk and he did, but just as you thought that you were already safe from his questions, he asked another.
“it’s not a stomach ache wasn’t it?” hands on his back, his gaze was fixated on the road. “what was it, y/n?”
maybe it was time to tell taeyoung about it? maybe— “hanahaki.” the words subconsciously slipped out of your tongue.
“what?” surprised by the mention of the disease, his eyes were wide when he whipped his head to your direction. “you mean… your love is unrequited?”
taeyoung was quick to catch the gist of the disease. it was pretty much a popular sickness that had probably made some of his other friends suffer. the only thing he wasn’t quick to get was… who your feelings were for.
“woobin doesn’t like you back?” he asked, snapping you out of your thoughts which was purely of practicing the possible explanations if he ended up recognizing your feelings for him. and apparently, he didn’t.
it was your turn to shoot him a look. “what?”
“don’t you like woobin?” he averted his gaze and it trailed back to the road. “i mean the two of you seem like really close friends and you’re together most of the time.”
you didn’t know whether you should be relieved or not. but since you were still unprepared to offer any explanation, you just went with the flow. a bitter smile coming to your lips. your head had his name on your sentence, regardless of how you uttered another man’s name. “yes, i like woobin. but it seems like he doesn’t feel the same way.”
“maybe you should… try moving on?”
the way taeyoung suggested the same thing made you laugh, confusing the person beside you. to move on, huh? was that what the universe wanted you to do? to move on? a smile lingered on your visage, as you stepped on the stairs with taeyoung following you behind. it was just funny how he thought you were in love with woobin, when in fact the flower he adored the most was living in your lungs. that he was the person you were in love with, not any other person.
stopping at the front step, the worry that sat on his orbitals didn’t waver. the look asking if you’d be alright tonight— you already knew the answer. “take care, okay? if you need anything, just call me. good night.”
as soon as you closed the door, it began. the coughing that seemingly just waited for you to step into your unit came rushing. a petal waving in the air before meeting the ground. “i need your love, taeyoung. i badly need it.”
the smell of freshly done pancakes wafted up to your bed, a few noises coming from the kitchen followed. it was a gentle alarm that pushed you to wake up and get out of your bed. too groggy, a foot still on the dream you were having, you didn’t think that whoever was in the kitchen could be a thief or anything. well, who in their proper mind would cook food for the owner of the house if they were only to snatch things after?
a few days ago, you had an extreme case of hanahaki, something that led you to stay in the hospital overnight. after that, it had seemed to subside or at least be more gentle during the evening, resulting in more hours of sleep.
“woobin?” you called his name as you watched him turn off the stove, placing the fluffy pancakes onto a plate. there was already a hot chocolate ready for you to drink. you didn’t even question how he got inside. probably jungmo, the landowner, gave him the code to your room. oh, talk about privacy.
his smile was as warm as the morning sunrays. “good morning.” his voice was a little hoarse, normally you wouldn’t really pay attention to that. when he recorded songs too much in a day, he’d end up with such. but now that you knew he was experiencing hanahaki, a question hung in your head. was it because of the coughing? your thoughts dropped at the sound of his voice, still mellow regardless. “i’ve cooked you breakfast.”
“don’t you have work to do?” you asked, remembering how during the past days he’d been telling you about his new work— the slot in that pharmaceutical company as a medicinal chemist. you dragged a chair before occupying it, looking at him as he placed all the things he used in the sink. a curve became visible on your lips as your eyes fell to what he prepared. it was just pancakes, but it was woobin’s pancakes. he was such an amazing cook, you could vouch for that. “thank you by the way.”
“work? ah yeah.” he took the seat adjacent to yours, a cup of coffee in his hands. he grinned at you and you swore, your heart was in ultimate chaos when you heard his next words. “i took on the job of taking care of you for free starting today.”
sunlight filtered through the glass door of the flower shop, highlighting the wide variety of spring flowers. ranunculus, tulips, and calla lilies were all displayed along with other non-seasonal plants. there weren't a lot of customers coming, given that there were flowers available to be picked up in some public gardens. regardless, there were still a few who would come and get flowers arranged for some special occasions. but then again, it was just morning. it was rather too early to judge the possible count of customers later.
“jungmo’s coughing out petals now,” allen, one of the workers in the flower shop. said.
taeyoung looked at him, pausing his actions of tying a yellow ribbon in the bouquet of tulips. with a brow raised, he asked, “hanahaki?”
putting the freshly done arrangement of peonies, allen tapped on the counter which called the attention of the delivery man. he pointed out the card which contained the address and watched the other go out to deliver the item. dragging a stool to sit on, he stretched his arms. “seems to be. he’s coughing out petals of his crush’s favorite flower, crocus. i don’t think it’s a mere crush now though.”
“oh, so the flower that blooms in a body experiencing hanahaki would be the favorite flower of the person they like?” taeyoung asked as he finished the bouquet he was working on. he retrieved stems of roses and cut them nicely, removing the thorns and excess leaves.
“yes,” allen replied. “you like roses right?”
taeyoung only nodded, a memory alighting in his head. it can’t be—
“that means the person who likes you, but ends up with a one-sided love would end up having roses in their chest,” allen continued, causing taeyoung’s hand to stop from moving. the younger’s eyes fixated on the collection of red roses in his hands.
“it’s my favorite,” taeyoung mused.
there was a smile that sat on your lips, a peck of gloom decorating its corners. “i know.”
the flower growing in your chest was his favorite flower, roses?
it was him all this time?
right at that moment, there was one thing taeyoung would want to address himself as. an idiot. realizations came crashing to him like a powerful wave that held no mercy. it was ice cold, his body freezing at each thought that his mind welcomed.
the petals he found on your desk weren't there because of a silly game of he loves me, he loves me not. it was the petals you coughed out and forgot to clean.
“are you okay?” allen asked, momentarily snapping taeyoung out of his daze.
the twisting on taeyoung stomach was unbearable. his heart racing not with flutters, but rather with anxious thoughts. he was the cause of your pain?
with an almost inaudible voice, taeyoung let out of his horror. “y/n likes me.”
continuous taps on the keyboard, words appearing on the screen only for the flow to stop with punctuation. in sync, the doorbell rang. you no longer wondered who it was. it had always been him.
you stood up and shuffled towards the door, opening it before welcoming the male with a warm curve in your face. “it’s lunch already?”
woobin nodded, handing you a bag of still hot dishes he cooked probably not more than an hour ago. he followed you as you made your way to the dining area. when the male said he’d be taking care of you starting that specific breakfast, he stuck to his words, visiting you almost every day. the only exception was when he had to meet a producer. his own album was in the process of being finalized.
you placed the bag down and woobin walked towards your cupboard. where to find the things was already memorized. it was as if he was living in the very unit.
“so how’s your morning?” he asked as he placed two plates on the table.
“woke up a bit late, but i was able to finish the last set of poetry i’ve been meaning to write!” the spark in your eyes was a lot brighter than the past days. it was easily contagious as woobin found himself having the same amount of glee. “i’ll print the last parts and let you read, wait.”
woobin shook his head, a smile crossing his brim as he watched you go to your workspace to do what you said. as he finished setting up your lunch, he took a seat and waited for you. just like you, woobin was experiencing fewer symptoms. his voice was no longer that raspy and he was able to post new song covers almost every week regardless of his current busy schedule with other recordings.
“here!” with unwavering enthusiasm, you extended your hand for him to reach the printed papers. you sat on the seat across him, gazing at the food which only made your mouth water. eyes already feeding off the sight of the meat dishes.
“this is quite interesting,” woobin remarked. “is this the last one?”
you nodded at his words when he showed you the last page. “i figured that it could be the best way to end it.”
“it sure does.” woobin served you by putting meat on the top of your rice. “eat up.”
just like the past days, you enjoyed lunch with woobin. a few talks here and there, though most of the time the two of you were silent. not the terrible kind of silence, but a good one. something comforting. and maybe that kind of silence was all you needed.
after the meal, the two of you sat on the couch. the television served as background noise as you run down the things you have to do this afternoon.
“you seem to be happier the past days, did you get yourself another contract?” woobin asked once you were done telling him where to drive you today, the flower shop and to your editor’s place.
“i do?” you caught sight of the lone photograph of roses on your wall. the poetry that accompanied it once was now resting on your table. “i haven’t been coughing recently.” your cheerfulness evident when your eyes wrinkled into crescents as you turned your head towards the direction where woobin was sitting. “maybe he’s starting to like me!”
a soft beam hugged woobin’s visage, contented with the result you were having. for your own flower to stop blooming, that was all he wished for. his mind got him best though, speaking without much thought as he eyed the last poem you wrote once again. “or maybe you’re starting to like him less.”
blinking in confusion, woobin handed you back the printed papers you gave him earlier. it was on the last page. the words were probably a clear indication of your feelings.
zest gone.
pen dropped.
book closed.
lock kept.
no word
survived.
those words weren’t the most gleeful of words, but it carried freedom. something you’d been wishing you could get out of taeyoung’s labyrinth of roses. something you never knew would finally come to you.
“right?” woobin pulled you out of your own thoughts. “i’ve been coughing less as well and i can guarantee that you’re the only one i like.”
“that means…?”
“you’re slowly moving on, y/n.” woobin gave your head a light pat. his beam growing warmer as he looked at you. “you’re moving on.”
before going to the place where you were to meet your editor, you asked woobin to stop by the flower shop. knowing your editor, she’d probably love some dahlias and irises.
upon entering the shop, the same floral scent you had been accustomed to since you were younger embraced you. however, instead of taeyoung greeting you, the expression in his face— wide eyes after a gasp— was a little perplexing. you raised a brow at him, stepping closer to the counter with woobin following you from behind.
“dah—”
“can we have a moment?” taeyoung’s question interrupted your own set of words.
with a head tilted to the side, you didn’t make an effort to hide your confusion. the seemingly forced smile he had, which was quite too awkward for your liking was not a help at all. you turned to look at woobin, asking if it would be alright for him to wait. “will it be okay?”
“sure.” woobin shrugged, trying to act as nonchalant as he could. something he was successful in doing so. “i’ll buy you a drink while i wait. just send me a message if you’re done.”
“thank you, woobin.” and with those words said, you watched woobin leave the establishment. as soon as he did, your stomach sunk. there was no one else in the flower shop, it seemed like the other staff had already left.
taeyoung gestured to you to sit on an empty stool next to the counter, but you declined. instead, you leaned to it, urging him to speak what he wanted to talk about. he wasn’t the kind to be hesitant with such, but now, it was as if his tongue was tied in hundreds of knots and words can’t just be delivered.
“you’re experiencing hanahaki, right?” a stiff start. not only you, but taeyoung could feel how unnatural it sounded. no cheeky grins, no bright tone. it was flat and dripping with nervousness you weren’t aware taeyoung could be under the state of. “how are you?”
“i’m alright.” you chuckled at his words, letting loose of the already tensed atmosphere. as much as you were nervous for what was to come, you didn’t want it to spread on your formerly cheerful mood. “come on, taeyoung. i’m not going to be mad or anything.”
it partially helped taeyoung who had a small smile on his visage. but his eyes were still unable to meet yours as he locked his gaze on something else, the flowers healthily blooming inside the shop. “you were coughing out… roses, right?”
you hummed as a reply. finally taking the offer to sit. “yes, your favorite.”
“that means that you like me?” taeyoung took the seat next to your stool.
surprisingly, instead of worrying about how your little secret got figured out, you had an opposite feeling. you were relieved. there was no anxiety about him giving you the possibly worst rejection, no concern about how he could possibly shatter a thorned heart.
whatever made him realize such a thing, you were thankful. at least you no longer have to go through excessive explanations.
but there was something you would want to clarify.
“i used to like you a lot,” you said, giving an emphasis to the phrase: used to. a relieved sigh left your lips, satisfied with how everything was happening. it wasn’t as bad as you imagined. “you don’t have to worry now though, i’m gradually moving on.”
“still. you had to suffer from that for years,” he trailed. “i’m sorry.”
“it’s okay taeyoung.” your tight-lipped smile turned into a genuine one. the moment you shifted your gaze to look at taeyoung, you met his eyes. regardless of the pain it brought you, there was in no way you saw yourself blaming taeyoung. you liked him. and that summed it up. “your brightness was a blessing and never did i regret liking you despite the thorns and petals brought by it.”
his slightly soaked eyes were an indication of his former worry, which was slowly being washed away by a good amount of reassurance. “i’m glad.”
“you no longer have to worry about the roses, taeyoung.” stripping down the photographs on your wall for the past days, you replaced them with other photographs. you were sure the delusion was coming to an end. yes, the roses were indeed beautiful. but its thorn wasn’t as astonishing. “it’s withering.”
a stray tear slipped out of your eye and taeyoung didn’t only catch the tear, his arms were wrapped around you in such a warm hug. you were sure no petals would come out of your lips again. the warmth that embraced your body conveyed a closing home.
it’s time to move out and find a home that has no garden.
you no longer despised the spring. the beautiful flowers surrounding the town were no longer catching distasteful looks from you. your lungs free from spring. hand wrapped around woobin’s, the warm rays of the remaining afternoon sunlight filtered through the thick leaves of the trees the two of you would pass by.
another book was published, all containing the last words for your former muse. the title didn’t hide anything, quite an obvious choice: kalopsia.
three times a week you would go out for a book signing while woobin, now your boyfriend, would fetch you every time. he was busy himself with the recording of his album which was to be released by the end of the month. but he never missed going to the venue where your book signing would take place. by now, he probably had about nine signed copies of your book.
“you experienced hanahaki as well, right?” you asked woobin as you passed by a shop that had orchids hanging on the wall. petals of lush yellow, pink and purple decorating it.
woobin chuckled, taken aback by your unexpected question. “i did.”
“how was it?”
“it was weird. i mean coughing out petals so suddenly.” he looked at you, only to see your furrowed brows. something that made him laugh once again. “what do you expect me to answer?”
“that made you realize that you like me?”
“don’t be silly. even before the first petal left my lips, i knew i already liked you.” a contented smile graced his brim. even before that, the way his heart would thump in his chest as if it had run a marathon, the way a dumb smile would hang on his lips once he saw you, the way he would be subconsciously adoring you while you were busy writing, the way he wanted to be beside you, the way he wished to hold you closer— it all happened before a petal of orchid escaped the confines of his mouth.
a faint blush became apparent on your cheeks, giving it such a cute color. “and up until now you still like me…”
“correction, it’s liked. past tense,” woobin said, laughing at how your expression shifted. he took a big step and stopped right in front of you, he turned to face you with his hand still holding yours. “now, i love you.”
the weather wasn’t as hot since the sun was preparing for the twilight, but your cheeks were. it was accompanied by the wild flutters in your stomach. letting go of woobin’s hand (a reflex to hide how flustered his words got you), your ears were enveloped by his sweet, sweet chuckle. you walked past through him in such rushed footsteps, a peal of laughter escaping your lips as you did so. “i can’t believe you had to say that in that way.”
however, you were not even that far from him when woobin caught you. your steps halted when he locked you in a back hug, giving your cheek a light peck which simply made it more flushed. “i love you more than you’d ever know,” he carefully whispered to your ear.
you chuckled at the gestures, his words tickling you. regardless of how playful it seemed to be, you knew woobin was dead serious with it. he detached himself from you, only to hold your hand once more and walk beside you.
glancing at your interlaced fingers, you leaned your head to his shoulder. “i love you too, woobin.”
“i love you so much, y/n,” he replied, gently squeezing your hand.
to be able to look at the flowers without thinking about how they budded in your body, to rest every evening without worrying about the petals disrupting your serene night, to be right next to the person you love and loves you, there was nothing else you could wish for.
the flowers in your chest had long ago stopped blooming. it went the same way with woobin. but little did you know... orchids started blooming on someone else’s body, slowly growing on the chest of the person who once caused you to have roses hugging your lungs.
and just like how you first found those roses beautiful, taeyoung thought those orchids were too.
#cravity imagines#cravitywriters#cravity oneshots#cravity x reader#kpop imagines#seo woobin#kim taeyoung#woobin x reader#taeyoung x reader#cravity
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