#there's one less good thing on earth
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Some really depressing news...
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Sometimes I forget why I ship odazai, then I watch Dark Era again and go “Oh! It's because they're canonly in love with each other! Cool 👍”
#The Dark Era finale is nice :')#The thing is‚ when I watched it for the first time it left me very 😐#Genuinely unimpressed lol.#“So Dazai... This person everyone loves and adores and treats like a God on earth... Is not even doing good for goodness sake???#Is not even trying to be a better person? Where's the redemption? Where's the acknowledging what he used to do was wrong?”#on top of. various nihilist rhetoric lol.#But after years and having begrudgingly gotten attached to Dazai‚ it's an heartwarming scene :')#But one thing I knew since the VERY START. Since the very first time watching when I sincerely couldnt care less about any of the character#Was that Dazai was in love with Oda. It was like it's not even coding anymore it's just so thereeeee#It's just. Plain in daylight. Way more blatantly than for any other possibly romantic relationship. It's just THERE#random rambles
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y3 has made me feel many things but one of the things that lingers with me the most about it is how majima takes every possible opportunity and makes every possible gesture to say “please don’t leave me alone again, please take me with you when you leave, I WANT to be right next to you when you need me, I’ll literally do anything for you, just don’t leave me alone again” always indirectly but in strong enough ways that i think it’d be obvious to anyone paying attention EXCEPT Kazuma Kiryu, The Densest Man On Earth, who he’s pleading to in the first place. it’s. frustrating to watch. someone needs to grab kiryu by the shoulders and tell him. for the love of god. this man loves you so much and you keep leaving him when all he wants to do is help you and be with you please just take him to okinawa oh my god
#kazumaji#it’s FRUSTRATING#specifically thinking about the scene in the bar after the pink truck debacle#where majima finally says like. if you’re going to Okinawa to deal with this whole assassination thing or whatever comes up I’m coming#with you. you don’t have a ton of support down there and me and you together are basically unstoppable#pretty much completely outright#and kiryu. the dense stubborn motherfucker he is. is like. i don’t have No One down there I have a few friends (missing the point). I’ll be#fine. I don’t need your help there. you should stay here#I’ll give him some credit because then saying ‘someone has to stay here and keep the Tojo clan from total collapse’ is a good point and it#does mean something that he trusts majima to be that person (especially given I don’t think anyone else on earth would trust him with that)#(despite him being totally capable- you know mad dog persona and all that blah blah blah)#like that’s a good point idk who else would be a good choice to do that considering daigo’s out of commission and who’s even left after that#obviously mine is Sketchy. kashiwagi is (supposedly) dead. everyone else kiryu trusts in the yakuza is dead or injured more or less.#not gonna leave fuckin DATE in charge or something#so. fair enough point. but nonetheless it doesn’t erase the fact that kiryu overlooks what majima means in the grander scheme of things#and still believes first and foremost that he doesn’t need/want his help when he does and he should#he’s just. allergic to making life easier for himself#among other issues#sigh#yakuza 3#y3#goro majima#kazuma kiryu#kiryu#majima#rambling
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the funnies and sillies
#friday night funkin#fnf lullaby#fnf shinto#fnf purin#<-not original source i know. but all Beast Lore was made up for this mod it was originally just One Jpeg#fnf grey#lost silver#strangled red#disclaimer this is not In His Defense. however the mod is good nonetheless#(anyway i do want to know what it would be like if finished properly#however i also think sometimes not having the whole thing enhances the Horrors. nothing is scarier trope yknow#ie characters fates being audio over black screens and not knowing what on earth is going on in purin#amusia ending meanwhile. got less scary w/o the dialogue and jumpscare but it Did get so sad and sable is my poor little meowmeow now)
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📽 action!: rank all six of the films (or three if you're a hater)
Answers for this LotR ask-game.
Ahh okay so at this point I have to confess something terrible: I still have not seen the third Hobbit movie. I'm sorry! I just couldn't do it. The fuckery of it all, especially in the second movie with Mirkwood and Thranduil and Legolas ("a lowly Silvan elf" what the FUCK what the fuck PJ WHAT THE FUCK), was just too much for me. Character-assassination is one thing, and I thought after Denethor I knew what I was going to be getting with Thranduil but NOPE! It was literal world building assassination and I just CANNOT.
Don't get me wrong, Lee Pace did an amazing job and actually seeing Mirkwood was amazing and it was genuinely delightful to see Orlando put those ears on again; but the OuTrAgE that filled my heart at the yeet-ing of what minimal canon we even have for the Mirkwood elves was just intolerable, and while I did mean to go see it, really I did, I just...couldn't actually get the motivation to go before it was out of theatres. I've heard the EE are better (less studio fuckery) so I'll watch them someday! Honest! I just...haven't. yet.
And as to the Lord of the Rings trilogy...man, I don't even know how to do this. In terms of which is the best film, or in terms of which one I enjoy watching most, or in terms of which on hits me in the heart hardest or...? I don't know if I can objectively rank my feelings about these movies even in my own brain because RotK ends with Into the West and I have FeelingsTM about the Undying Lands and Sea Longing okay. So the last scene of RotK at the Grey Havens is a fucking spear through the heart every time and I can't even describe the knot of feelings it engenders, and I think overall TTT may be my favorite but also it has Plot Issues that piss me off even more than the Plot Issues in RotK I think,...yeah, we're going to do this in terms of Film Crafting rather than personal favorites because I'm having too many feelings lmao. So! In order of most-well-done-movie to least:
Fellowship of the Ring
The Two Towers
Return Of The King
The Desolation of Smaug
An Unexpected Journey
#look there are some REALLY LOVELY MOMENTS in the hobbit movies#(all three of them; i've seen enough stuff floating around the internet to know that even about the one i haven't actually seen lmao)#but the ratio of beautiful moments to what-the-fuckery is just so skewed to the latter#and the cartoonish unreality of most of the effects do NOT help#it's like somebody watched the mumakil bit from rotk and went ''more of that but dial it up to eleventy-one!'' and i just...#do y'all know how FUCKING EXCITED i was to see the White Council???#to see GALADRIEL?#to see sauron thrown out of dol guldur? TO SEE THE WHITE COUNCIL!???#because as soon as i heard ''three movies'' i knew I KNEW (i hoped) that they had to be adding that it#because how the fuck else were they going to pad-out that tiny little book into three whole movies? OBVIOUSLY with the white council!!!#and then...we got a chase scene in the mines that made the podracing look like it deserved an oscar#and the most cringe-inducingly-artificial cgi armies at war that i think i've ever seen even IN video games#it was like watching galactic battlegrounds middle-earth edition wtf#did y'all literally just make one elf and one dwarf and copy-past them a million times into the scene wtffffff#but i still need to make it clear that i DO love the good bits that's what makes the bad parts hurt so much!#like: does the fact that the elves coming to helm's deep make no sense and also VANISH from the plot as soon as it's over irritate me? YES!#but the battle itself is filmed with so much HEART that i don't care I DON'T CARE#i still cheer at ''no orc horn'' i still weep at haldir's death (GODS that MUSIC!) i still watch the whole thing RAPT and ENTHRALLED#but 80% of the hobbit's actions scenes don't DO anything they're just empty pixels with less purpose than the droid factory on geonosis#and there should be SO MUCH HEART because that's WHAT TOLKIEN IS auuuughhhhhh#and the fact that they missed the entire fucking EVERYTHING about MIRKWOOD of all fucking places...! UGH#DO YOU KNOW HOW AMAZING THESE ACTORS WOULD HAVE BEEN IN THESE ROLES IF THEY'D ACTUALLY BEEN FILMING THIS STORY??? PJ WHY!#lotr movies#hobbit movies#middle earth asks
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the thing I keep thinking about really intensely is that yes, for like 99% of their acquaintance, Crowley was the one who had more understanding of the way heaven and hell really work. but for that brief moment in their first meeting, he genuinely was more naive and idealistic than Aziraphale. like, Aziraphale was scared, even back then, at the thought of questioning god; even right back before the beginning, some part of him knew that he was fearful and unsafe, and he realised that before Crowley ever did.
it’s honestly almost like some kind of, Aziraphale fell first, Crowley Fell harder - he never completed the realisation the same way Crowley managed to, but he arrived there earlier. And I wonder so much what exact kind of effects witnessing the demons’ fall had on him, given that he’d already obtained some of that awareness that he perhaps was not in a very good place to be. but the only alternative of places to go, as far as he knew, was at the very least just as bad, and in some ways legitimately worse.
#good omens spoilers#good omens#aziraphale#crowley#i think it's interesting because i know there's been comparisons to irl religious sects/cults with aziraphale#but i feel like the idea of the alternative to your current bad place being somewhere Worse works in like#a metaphorical sense but less so in a literal one#because i think that the thing with irl conditioning is the Worse Place is generally just anywhere outside of the community#which is made to appear as somewhere hostile and unwelcoming as part of the conditioning#and like sure earth is not actually that#and in that way does represent the not-so-bad and potentially good place that the real world actually is#in comparison to the community that wants to keep him#but equally in aziraphale's case#hell is not a tool for fearmongering or a thing you can like#eventually discover not to be an Absolute Belief the way it's presented#Aziraphale's situation in comparison to irl religious indoctrination is really weird because hell is REAL#and genuinely is awful#there's a terrible place beyond the neutral real world where he could actually end up#and we know it was awful for Crowley being there#and heaven is awful too but they are both notably distinct from the kind of potentially awful which earth can be#and i do this with pretty much Every fantasy/scifi heightened version of irl phenomena which i encounter#but it's gotta have a different impact on your brain right#getting out from under your conditioning somewhat because you've found the neutral real world#and you're experiencing stuff that challenges your beliefs and shows you that there's more than you realised#but at the same time that moment of realising that you don't have to believe in the terrible consequences you were raised to fear#never comes#because you KNOW that place exists#and you know somebody who went there and despises it#who in fact actively works to prevent you from having to go there too
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And then I finally end it off with some doodles of them… they make me feel things.
#ringmaster doodles#sona art#( they’re very much the theme of. love in the face of the neverending march of time. )#( being immortal and knowing you will outlive the man you love because someone else deemed he unworthy of eternal life. )#( he may still have tens of thousands of years left. sure. but you know that those will go by and he’ll disappear in the blink of an eye. )#( and you’ll sit there on his death bed. wondering why did things end up like this? )#( wondering what you did wrong. and if you could have done something different. you’ll always ask yourself. )#( if he lives a life of happiness and comfort or did he live a life as gruesome and miserable as the wars on earth? but you won’t know. )#( and the more you think about it. the more you realize it. how nihilistic he was. and how he never seemed to smile even in the good times.#he always seemed to have a frown or a scowl on his face. he always seems bothered and unhappy. )#( so you wonder if it was something you did. because you know you aren’t perfect. you’re hardly good. )#( you wonder if he’s mad at you. maybe he was. but he doesn’t have the heart to stay mad. )#( and that’s love in the face of adversity. knowing that no matter how bad it gets. he loves you as you love him. )#( and you wonder why he never smiles. because he truly never does. and so you ask him. honest and true. )#( and he tells you there isn’t anything worth smiling for. nothing in this whole world. )#( but he smiles at you. it’s always small. and it’s always brief. )#( but that smile. that smile means love. )#( that hug. as flimsy as it may be. that hug means love. )#( of course. he isn’t affectionate. if anything. he detests it. he hates physical contact of any kind. you’ve noticed. )#( which is a shame. you love your hugs and your kisses and your hand holding. )#( but even if he doesn’t like it. he lets you do it. because it makes you happy. )#( and you learn that when you’re happy. he’s a little less miserable. )#( of course. not all love is equal. and not all love is fair. )#( the love from a lover and the love from the father can never equate to one another. )#( no one will love you in the same way a father or mother loves you. in the same manner. no one will ever love you the way I do. )#( because my love will remain with you. long after I disappear. )#( and as bitter as the idea of my own existence coming to an end is. knowing I did all of this for. essentially nothing. )#( that I’ve gone through all this pain and suffering and hardship just for it to all amount to nothing. for it to be fucking useless to try.#I get to die knowing that you’ll always love and be loved. and that’s enough for me… )#( … maybe there is something worth smiling for after all. )
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#boueibu#akoya gero#gero akoya#binan koukou chikyuu bouei bu love!#cute high earth defense club love#my art#my comic#i don't want to distract too much with my own commentary but#im going to say that being raised on the internet just infinitely multiplies this bc a lot of boundaries do not exist in the same way online#astounding how consent and agency really do give back the sense of being a person#as an aside im personally not that comfortable with the word 'vulnerable' -- it's one of those words im sensitive about#basically i just prefer not to frame things that way. if im comfortable then i'll share things bc i want to#disclaimer: it is ok to prune flowers and is actually good for them. but not everyone who cuts a flower is thinking of the plant#other disclaimer: akoya is turned towards kinchan bc i think arima is less likely to be upset by all his hair getting in his face
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#man usamericans just cant help themselves in thinking theyre exceptional even if they're leftist#'biden is the most pro-gay‚ pro-LGBT political leader ON EARTH rn. and my one point of comparison is the Labour Party on Terf Island'#'and the republicans are the Most Aggresive Anti-LGBT party in the entire 'Western World' too'#look man this isn't star wars. im not even necessarily saying you're Wrong. but if you're gonna go there. sources please#and if you haven't actually checked the political situation in all ~200 countries on earth. maybe just don't make a hyperbolic claim#like that?#tbc: idk how well biden personally ranks. and idk how well rutte does either for that matter#it just seems like a very weird thing to throw out there with the only two counterexamples being the UK and Russia.#did you know there are in fact more countries than your mommy and your nemesis#and that it's enough to ask people to vote for the democrats if only to prevent another republican from taking power in the usa#even if it weren't the final battle between Good and Evil#.... and anOTHER THING#if the labour party -a party which is not currently in power in the uk - counts as comparison. that means youre not only comparing#to ruling parties. you're comparing to any reasonably prominent political parties anywhere#and declaring them all less pro-lgbt+ than mr joseph biden. ok. sure jan
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feeling torn re: my bruce portrayal cause on one hand there is the batman that i love as an active critique of brutality and vigilantism thin blue line rhetoric repackaged in a bat costume and a man who learned better kind of narrative over time but then on the other hand there is batman unburied bruce who would not fucking say any of that <3
#out.#cause like they cannot exist in the same space in my head they are entirely different people#2022 and arkham based bruce is antithetical to unburied bruce and idk which one i would wanna write </3#cause like. the former is kind of integral to my dick and jason's bg considering#less dick but definitely jason since he IS arkham based#cause like. bruce not killing joker is easy across the board but the level in which my jason Hates bruce#depends heavily on bruce's entire shtick as this savior to gotham who loves dishing out violence but refuses to commit to it#fancies himself a hero who never kills while finding in perfectly acceptable to like. maim human beings lol#and who fancies himself one of the GoodTM rich guys while at the same time wasting millions on tech and new batmobiles and suits etc#idk. which. i do like! cause irl batman as this famous superhero figure literally everyone on planet earth knows about lol#i like critiquing what he stands for while believing in his ability to change legitimately#like bruce's whole thing is learning from the people around him for the better#BUT........ UNBURIED BRUCE......#is so. so good and i need to write him like now now immediately#and i also feel more confident to write him? idk </3#like if i write unburied bruce he will exist on a different plain that the rest of my muses#like. threads with them will not be within the same canon as the threads w bruce#cause their makeup is just wrapped too tightly in an entirely different batman#idk what to do!!!!!! rah..... unburied brainrot taking me apart piece by piece rn#girl help
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oh psa but if you're in an industry that checks IDs and the person in front of you is clearly trans, don't make comments about anything on that ID. for instance saying "OMG your middle name's Danielle? that's my name too!!!" to someone 5 feet tall with a full beard is perhaps not the best choice one could make if one didn't want to put a neon glowing sign above that person's head saying "THIS IS A TRANSGENDER" to everyone they're with
#it is p funny tho going out places with cis / nb-and-always-presented-as-agab friends and always getting singles out abt my#id in Some Way and them always being like ??? wtf that was so weird what was up with that#and i have to be the one to be like 'remember that my id has an f on it' and theyre like :0 ....... >:0!!!!#like fuckin. the time i got id'd at goddamn jack in the box????#she was like 'yeah we have to check it on all orders over $25' which had never happened before and has never happened since because#its fucking jack in the box so every stupid order is over $25#for important context i was driving and bf in passenger seat was paying so id handed her his card and was way less passing than now#so once we left travis was like yo wtf that was so weird why on earth would they id someone at jack in the box?????#and im like well because i look like this and i handed her a credit card with the name travis on it and people making#up reasons to check trans-looking peoples ids to verify if theyre trans or not is unfortunately not an uncommon occurance#and he was completely floored that that was even a possibility#which like mood when i was doing bev steward literally the only thing i was thinking about on those ids was birthdays#course i was working at a theme park so we had ids from all over the country#and world but nonamericans had passports which are much more consistent than state ids#so id get handed someones id and just be like ugh ok where do they hide it on this one i have 50 people in line i dont have time for this#like why would i be wasting time casually perusing their gender marker yknow i have shit to do#so the fact that there are people who will feel the need to know that so bad that theyll do that is just wild to me and presumably him too#(working there was how we met and he ended up being bars lead then full water park sup after i left the job)#but yeah after he had his 'wait people actually do that?' realization he was just like '....well then good thing it was my card so we had to#give her my id so she'll never get to know for sure‚ get fucked' LMAO#ooh or when me and a friend went to trader joes and bought drinks cause i collect cool drink cans and when the cashier was checking#my id i made a joke to ny friend abt my picture looking like bobby hill and the cashier was like 'GASP dont say that about yourself youre#beautiful!!' which i believe i did have the beard by this point so it was a pretty obvious dig#and the picture super does look like bobby hill by the way like ill show yall if anyone's curious but literally no one irl has disagreed#except this one random woman lmao. but we get out and my friends like ????????? that was so weird#why did she say that????? and im like. well it has an f on it remember#and once again the :0 -> >:0 transformation#like it sucks having it happen but there is smth really funny abt watching friends so inclusive something like that never even#occured to them realize that thats a thing people will do and it just happened right in front of them#shoutout to my roommates friend tho who has worked at a sex shop and weed shop and changed my rewards account name for both to chosen name
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hehe hoho feeling absolute rage!!!!!!!!!
#i thought mothers in laws being the worst human possible was a myth. guess what#GOING BALLISTIC 👍#i don't give a shit abt her being all lovey dovey and shit but straight up homophobic and transphobic in my back.#even if after months and months living (hell) with her she never misgendered me nor say anything abt her son being with a man#kinda impressive to be that respectful for this amount of time then in reality being the biggest bigot on earth#like damn. she do be commited to the bit huh (making ppl she's not bothered by my existence) (when in reality she kinda wants me dead)#but like. ALL THE OTHER THINGS.....#IM USED TO THE HATE CRIMED BUT HAVE TRULY LESS TOLERANCE ABT THE TURMOIL BF IS GOING THROUGH BC OF HER LOL#thank fuck so many good ppl who also know who horrible she is are supporting bf with me#the more i learn abt her the more!!!!!! im loosing my temper lmao help im never angry what am I supposed to do with all this#IT'S NOT ONLY SHIT SHE DOES TO HER OWN SON SHE'S TERRIBLE WITH OTHER PPL 💀💀💀💀#i want so badly to warn that company abt the abuse she did to one of the worker going there but i caaaan't#and god knows it reminds me of my groomer and how there's a risk she could do that to other ppl if no one does anything 💀#I mean abt my groomer it is a certainty as he did abuse another wee lad after me and started with another lass and. idk what he's up to now#and it does not help with sleeping at night. but anyway hoping that she won't pull out shit like that with the other workers#she drove everybody working at that company away for having the reputation of being absolutely horrible anyway lmao 💀💀💀💀#sorry for renting no one gives a shit but im simply!!!! loosing it ++++++#need to find a way to channel this anger now lol help!!!!!!!! what do now#tomtom_is_rambling#tomtom_is_venting
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About to go insane trying to find sources for this, but starting to develop a theory that the idea that the bottom of the ocean is totally unknown is pretty outdated, but is an extremely compelling factoid and as such has persisted longer than it is true.
#The main source for this claim on wikipedia is from '99#And the amount we know about things has incresed somewhat since then#And significantly for me personally but a lot of that was catching up#Many satellites exist explicitly for the purpose of monitoring and knowing more about the ocean#And like there's some projects that are currently working on the exact problem of detailed seafloor mapping#But none of them are willing to tell me the resolution they're using nor the other more technical details that I could use to sort this#And by 'willing to tell me' I mean can be found by me on their websites#The specific claim is 'the bottom of the ocean is less well mapped than mars'#and that's also very complicated because both areas of knowledge have substanatially increased in the past 20 years#TBF it's not implausible either#I read a paper from the 70s saying that we knew more about moon rocks than any given earth rock too#I just would like a more recent source on this in either direction and all I can find is marketing materials#ETA: Having found what I could I think 'we have higher resolution topography of mars than the ocean' is true#But more because we've been doing a really fucking impressive job mapping mars#We've also been mapping the ocean pretty well but due to the technical details it is to a lower resolution than mars maps#They're looking to improve the ocean-bottom resolution but it's already pretty okay#Which is a far cry from 'totally unknown'#It's not as good as the martian ones that's true but it isn't really in the territory of 'total mystery' anymore
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🦁
#you know sometimes I berate myself for being a coward (and silently question why on earth I’m a Gryffindor) but then I remember times like#when I had to separate from my first and only college roommate due to Extremely Bad circumstances and when my old roommate’s boyfriend#found out he got my number from her and started spamming#me with paragraph-long tirades about how selfish I was and how ridiculous I was being and cussed me out and other things I will not mention#(in the middle of my university literary journal meeting no less!)#but then I told him that if he were going to go to all this trouble to insult me he might at least consider using correct grammar.#and then I blocked him.#honestly one of the more satisfying things I’ve ever done#(there is a lot more to this story of course but it’s probably not something I should circulate on the interwebs)#but it does make me realize that I DO have a little lion in me somewhere#she’s just really really really good at hiding#she really needs to get out more often#really could’ve used her when I should’ve confronted aforementioned old roommate about just giving her boyfriend my number huh
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tf:p is popular and probably better quality media in comparison to the rest of the tf catalogue but also everybody is annoying about it and the cgi faces are kinda ugly so I don't like it
#rando thoughtz#i am petty enough to just dislike things bc the fans are annoying i am not above it <3#for example i hate tf:a blitzwing bc ppl are annoying abt him#i also have a bit of distain for megatr.on & starsc.ream for similiar reasons#(though i cant say its hate its more indifference and slight annoyance which is p good considering im a massive hater)#tf.p i will be honest i havent finished but its kinda bc i got bored at a point and fell asleep and couldnt keep up when i woke up#my sister loves the show though (i was watching it w/ her btw) so i will grant her that grace#she also rlly rlly loves . all the characters from it that annoy me a bit#bc of fandom oversaturation to be clear not bc of the character themself#like tfp starscr.m 🤢#and k0bd which ok i am indifferent towards idc. i did buy her k0bd stuff for xmas bc i know she likes them#its just. idc i dont care for the show that much its hard for me to watch#bc again their faces are so weird to me i cant get over it#tf:e got the cgi faces down a lot better like thank god for innovation#yeah i think my problem is. its not earth.spark i just like earth.spark more#OH ESPECIALLY since theres less focus on op & megs And Instead focus on a well written bee and new fun characters#plus a rlly nice plotline abt unity and solidarity between earth & cybertronians which is one of my fav parts of the franchise ok#i know this is like The Opposite of what the typical tf fan wants out of the franchise#but i think we established by now i am not the typical tf fan#so tf:e is my fucking bread and butter this is the ultimate thing i want out of the tf franchise#so yeah to summarize i am just a hater in the tf fandom and i dont like any popular takes on anything here
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...
#today has been a day. as in time did pass. the earth rotated. and i accomplished very little#bc im just feeling paralyzed and not so good. and i guess thats understandable#like i understand y its happening but its not any less frustrating. mostly its just knowing that i have to make life altering decisions in#the next few weeks. and the pressure of: if i dont decide to go for this one project then they dont get a student and they dont get funding#that makes me pretty nauseous. and knowing i have an interview Thursday that im not ready for and i dont really wanna do#and its a product of not talking to people like a human being. like i just dont interact with people much. when im in the lab i mostly#stand around looking unapproachable or go in when i kno there's no one there and i just dont have close friends so i dont really talk to or#text anyone. i just work and fail to get things done. so then when im in a situation where i have to talk to ppl its all anxious shrapnel#or me dominating the conversation bc i cant stand the pauses and i have so much obsessivly rotatinf in my head. and i hate it. im so sick#of hearinf my own voice but no one talk in the way i want them to. i get so bored. and i want to ask pressing and uncomfortable things but#i kno i shouldnt. but i also dont really have a filter so ill just say fucking whatever. which is what i did Saturday when a triggering#topic of conversation arose. so now my lab mate officially knows too much. but whatever wtf is he gonna do abt it. i just get so annoyed#bc now its in my head. thr fact it set me off and that i overshared and that now its in my head. annoying.#and it doesn't help with the writing things i need to finish. bc i dont like feeling like ive done something wrong and one of the reviewers#has good points. which also probably means ill have to redo my 8 days of measurements so far#but i also might b able to shorten the timeline so idk. just a lot is happening rn and i feel the pressure and by brain doesn't like#pressure. and not doing things rn is not good. things need to be done#so idk i dont feel good but it makes sense. by the end of February hopefully things will b figured out#and i should sleep and hope for a better tomorrow#unrelated
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