#there were women in the theater who cross-dressed for the theater and played male roles
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I watched all eight episodes of season 1 of Blue Eye Samurai over the weekend. I then went browsing because I wanted to read some online reviews of the show to see what people were thinking of it and also because I wanted to interact with gifs and art, as the series is visually stunning.
Yet, in my search for opinions on the show, I came across several points I'd like to address in my own words:
Mizu’s history and identity are revealed piece-by-piece and the “peaches” scene with Mizu and Ringo at the lake is intended to be a major character reveal. I think it’s weird that some viewers got angry over other viewers intentionally not gendering Mizu until that reveal, rather than immediately jumping to gender the character as the other characters in the show do. The creators intentionally left Mizu’s gender and sexuality ambiguous (and quite literally wrote in lines to lead audiences to question both) to challenge the viewer’s gut assumption that this lone wolf samurai is a man. That intentional ambiguity will lead to wide and ambiguous interpretations of where Mizu fits in, if Mizu fits in at all. But don't just take my word for this:
Re: above. I also think it’s weird that some viewers got upset over other viewers continuing to acknowledge that Mizu has a very complicated relationship with her gender, even after that reveal. Canonically, she has a very complicated relationship with her identity. The character is intended to represent liminality in identity, where she’s often between identities in a world of forced binaries that aren’t (widely) socially recognized as binaries. But, again, don’t just take my word for this:
Mizu is both white and Japanese, but she is also not white and not Japanese simultaneously (too white to be Japanese and too Japanese to be white). She’s a woman and a man. She’s a man who’s a woman. She’s also a woman who’s not a woman (yet also not quite a man). But she’s also a woman; the creators said so. Mizu was raised as a boy and grew into a man, yet she was born a girl, and boyhood was imposed upon her. She’s a woman when she’s a man, a man when she’s a man, and a woman when she’s a woman.
Additionally, Mizu straddles the line between human and demon. She’s a human in the sense she’s mortal but a demon in the sense she’s not. She's human yet otherworldly. She's fallible yet greatness. She's both the ronin and the bride, the samurai and the onryō. In short, it’s complicated, and that’s the point. Ignoring that ignores a large part of her internal character struggle and development.
Mizu is intended to represent an “other,” someone who stands outside her society in every way and goes to lengths to hide this “otherness” to get by. Gender is a mask; a tool. She either hides behind a wide-brimmed hat, glasses, and laconic anger, or she hides behind makeup, her dress, and a frown. She fits in nowhere, no matter the identity she assumes. Mizu lives in a very different time period within a very different sociocultural & political system where the concept of gender and the language surrounding it is unlike what we are familiar with in our every-day lives. But, again, don’t just take my word for this:
It’s also weird that some viewers have gotten upset over the fact women and queer people (and especially queer women) see themselves in Mizu. Given her complicated relationship with identity under the patriarchy and colonial violence, I think Mizu is a great character for cis-het women and queer folks alike to relate to. Her character is also great for how she breaks the mold on the role of a biracial character in narratives about identity (she’s not some great bridge who will unite everyone). It does not hurt anyone that gender-fluid and nonbinary people see themselves in Mizu's identity and struggle with identity. It does not hurt anyone that lesbians see themselves in the way Mizu expresses her gender. It does not hurt anyone that trans men see themselves in Mizu's relationship with manhood or that trans women can see themselves in Mizu when Mama forces her to be a boy. It's also really cool that cis-het women see themselves in Mizu's struggles to find herself. Those upset over these things are missing critical aspects of Mizu's character and are no different from the other characters in the story. The only time Mizu is herself is when she’s just Mizu (“…her gender was Mizu”), and many of the other characters are unwilling to accept "just Mizu." Accepting her means accepting the complicatedness of her gender.
Being a woman under the patriarchy is complicated and gives women a complicated relationship with their gender and identity. It is dangerous to be a woman. Women face violence for being women. Being someone who challenges sex-prescribed norms and roles under patriarchy also gives someone a complicated relationship with their identity. It is dangerous to usurp gender norms and roles (then combine that with being a woman...). People who challenge the strict boxes they're assigned face violence for existing, too. Being a racial or ethnic minority in a racially homogeneous political system additionally gives someone a complicated relationship with their identity. It is dangerous to be an ethnic minority when the political system is reproduced on your exclusion and otherness. They, too, face violence for the circumstances of their birth. All of these things are true. None of them take away from the other.
Mizu is young-- in her early 20s-- and she has been hurt in deeply affecting ways. She's angry because she's been hurt in so many different ways. She's been hurt by gender violence, like "mama's" misogyny and the situation of her birth (her mother's rape and her near murder as a child), not to mention the violent and dehumanizing treatment of the women around her. She's been hurt by racial violence, like the way she has been tormented and abused since childhood for the way she looks (with people twice trying to kill her for this before adulthood). She's been hurt by state-sanctioned violence as she faces off against the opium, flesh, and black market traders working with white men in contravention of the Shogun's very policies, yet with sanction from the Shogun. She's been hurt by colonial violence, like the circumstances of her birth and the flood of human trafficking and weapons and drug trafficking in her country. She's had men break her bones and knock her down before, but only Fowler sexually differentiated her based on bone density and fracture.
Mizu also straddles the line between victim and murderer.
It seems like Mizu finding her 'feminine' and coming to terms with her 'female side' may be a part of her future character development. Women who feel caged by modern patriarchal systems and alienated from their bodies due to the patriarchy will see themselves in Mizu. They understand a desire for freedom that the narrow archetypes of the patriarchy do not afford them as women, and they see their anger and their desire for freedom in Mizu. This, especially considering that Mizu's development was driven by one of the creators' own experiences with womanhood:
No, Mizu does not pass as a man because she "hates women" or because she hates herself as a woman or being a woman. There are actual on-screen depictions of Mizu's misogyny, like her interactions with Akemi, and dressing like a man is not an instance of this. Mizu shows no discomfort with being a woman or being seen as a woman, especially when she intends to pass herself as and present as a woman. Mizu also shows the women in the series more grace and consideration than any man in the show, in whatever capacity available to her socially and politically, without revealing herself; many of the women have remarked that she is quite unlike other men, and she's okay with that, too.
When she lives on the farm with Mama and Mikio, Mizu shows no discomfort once she acclimates to the new life. But people take this as conclusive evidence of the "only time" she was happy. She was not. This life was also a dance, a performance. The story of her being both the ronin and the onryō revealed to the audience that this lifestyle also requires her to wear a mask and dance, just as the bride does. This mask is makeup, a wedding dress, and submission, and this performance is her gender as a wife. She still understands that she cannot fully be herself and only begins to express happiness and shed her reservation when she believes she is finally safe to be herself. Only to be betrayed. Being a man is her safety, and it is familiar. Being a boy protected her from the white men as a child, and it might protect her heart now.
Mizu shows no discomfort with being known as a woman, except when it potentially threatens her goals (see Ringo and the "peaches" scene). She also shows no discomfort with being known as, seen as, or referred to as a man. As an adult, she seems okay- even familiar- with people assuming she's a man and placing her into the role of a man. Yet, being born a girl who has boyhood violently imposed upon her (she did not choose what mama did to her) is also an incredibly important part of her lived experience. Being forced into boyhood, but growing into a man anyway became part of who she is. But, being a man isn’t just a part of who she became; it’s also expedient for her goals because men and women are ontologically different in her world and the system she lives under.
She's both because she's neither, because- ontologically- she fits nowhere. When other characters point out how "unlike" a man she is, she just shrugs it off, but not in a "well, yeah, because I'm NOT a man" sort of way, but in an "I'm unlike anyone, period," sort of way. She also does not seem offended by Madam Kaji saying that Mizu’s more man than any who have walked through her door.
(Mizu doesn’t even see herself as human, let alone a woman, as so defined by her society. And knowing that creators have stated her future arc is about coming into her “feminine era” or energy, I am actually scared that this show might fall into the trope of “domesticating”/“taming” the independent woman, complete with an allegory that her anger and lack of human-ness [in Mizu’s mind] is a result of a woman having too much “masculine energy” or being masculine in contravention of womanness.)
Some also seem to forget that once Mama and Mikio are dead, no one knows who she is or where she came from. They do not have her background, and they do not know about the bounty on her (who levied the bounty and why has not yet been explained). After their deaths, she could have gone free and started anew somehow. But in that moment, she chose to go back to life as a man and chose to pursue revenge for the circumstances of her birth. Going forward, this identity is no longer imposed upon her by Mama, or a result of erroneous conclusions from local kids and Master Eiji; it was because she wanted people to see her as a man and she was familiar with navigating her world, and thus her future, as a man. And it was because she was angry, too, and only men can act on their anger.
I do think it important to note that Mizu really began to allow herself to be vulnerable and open as a woman, until she was betrayed. The question I've been rattling around is: is this because she began to feel safe for the first time in her life, or is this part of how she sees women ontologically? Because she immediately returns to being a man and emotionally hard following her betrayal. But, she does seem willing to confide in Master Eiji, seek his advice, and convey her anxieties to him.
Being a man also confines Mizu to strict social boxes, and passing herself as a man is also dangerous.
Mizu doesn't suddenly get to do everything and anything she wants because she passes as a man. She has to consider her safety and the danger of her sex being "found out." She must also consider what will draw unnecessary attention to her and distract her from her goals. Many viewers, for example, were indignant that she did not offer to chaperone the mother and daughter and, instead, left them to the cold, only to drop some money at their feet later. The indignity fails consider that while she could bribe herself inside while passing as a man, she could not bribe in two strangers. Mizu is a strange man to that woman and does not necessarily have the social position to advocate for the mother and daughter. She also must consider that causing small social stirs would distract from her goals and draw certain attention to her. Mizu is also on a dangerous and violent quest.
Edo Japan was governed by strict class, age, and gender rules. Those rules applied to men as well as women. Mizu is still expected to act within these strict rules when she's a man. Being a man might allow her to pursue revenge, but she's still expected to put herself forward as a man, and that means following all the specific rules that apply to her class as a samurai, an artisan (or artist), and a man. That wide-brimmed hat, those orange-tinted glasses, and her laconic tendencies are also part of a performance. Being a boy is the first mask she wore and dance she performed, and she was originally (and tragically) forced into it.
Challenging the normative identities of her society does not guarantee her safety. She has limitations because of her "otherness," and the transgression of sex-prescribed roles has often landed people in hot water as opposed to saving them from boiling. Mizu is passing herself off as a man every day of her life at great risk to her. If her sex is "found out" on a larger scale, society won’t resort to or just start treating her as a woman. There are far worse fates than being perceived as a woman, and hers would not simply be a tsk-tsk, slap on the wrist; now you have to wear makeup. Let's not treat being a woman-- even with all the pressures, standards, fears, and risks that come with existing as a woman-- as the worst consequence for being ‘found out’ for transgressing normative identity.
The violence Mizu would face upon being "found out" won’t only be a consequence of being a "girl." Consider not just the fact she is female and “cross-dressing” (outside of theater), but also that she is a racial minority.
I also feel like many cis-het people either ignore or just cannot see the queerness in challenging gender roles (and thus also in stories that revolve around a subversion of sex-prescribed gender). They may not know how queerness-- or "otherness"-- leads to challenging strict social stratifications and binaries nor how challenging them is seen by the larger society as queer ("strange," "suspicious," "unconventional," even "dishonorable," and "fraudulent"), even when "queerness" (as in LGBTQ+) was not yet a concept as we understand it today.
Gender and sexuality- and the language we use to communicate who we are- varies greatly across time and culture. Edo Japan was governed by strict rules on what hairstyles, clothes, and weapons could be worn by which gender, age, and social group, and this was often enshrined in law. There were specific rules about who could have sex with whom and how. These values and rules were distinctly Japanese and would not incorporate Western influences until the late 1800s. Class was one of the most consequential features to define a person's fate in feudal Japan, and gender was quite stratified. This does not mean it's inappropriate for genderqueer people to see themselves in Mizu, nor does this mean that gender-variant identities didn’t exist in Edo Japan.
People in the past did not use the same language we do today to refer to themselves. Example: Alexander The Great did not call himself a "bisexual." We all understand this. However, there is a very weird trend of people using these differences in language and cultures across time to deny aspects of a historical person's life that societies today consider taboo, whether these aspects were considered taboo during that historical time period or not. Same example: people on Twitter complaining that Netflix "made" Alexander The Great "gay," and after people push back and point out that the man did, in fact, love and fuck men, hitting back with "homosexuality wasn't even a word back then" or "modern identity didn't exist back then." Sure, that word did not exist in 300s BCE Macedonia, but that doesn't mean the man didn't love men, nor does that mean that we can't recognize that he'd be considered "queer" by today's standards and language.
Genderqueer, as a word and as the concept is understood today, did not exist in feudal Japan, but the people did and feudal Japan had its own terms and concepts that referred to gender variance. But while the show takes place in Edo Japan, it is a modern adult animation series made by a French studio and two Americans (nationality). Mizu is additionally a fictional character, not a historical figure. She was not created in a vacuum. She was created in the 21st century and co-written by a man who got his start writing for Sex in the City and hails from a country that is in the midst of a giant moral panic about genderqueer/gender-variant people and gender non-conforming people.
This series was created by two Americans (nationality) for an American company. In some parts of that country, there are laws on the book strictly defining the bounds of men and women and dictating what clothes men and women could be prosecuted for wearing. Changes in language and identity over time mean that we can recognize that if Mizu lived in modern Texas, the law would consider her a drag performer, and modern political movements in the show creators' home country would include her under the queer umbrella.
So, yeah, there will also be genderqueer people who see themselves in Mizu, and there will be genderqueer fans who are firm about Mizu being queer to them and in their “headcanons.” The scene setting being Edo Japan, does not negate the modern ideas that influence the show. "Nonbinary didn't exist in Edo Japan" completely ignores that this show was created to explore the liminality of modern racial, gender, class, and normative identities. One of the creators was literally inspired by her own relationship with her biracial identity.
Ultimately, the fact Mizu, at this point in her journey, chooses to present and pass as a man and the fact her presented gender affects relationship dynamics with other characters (see: Taigen) gives this story a queer undertone. And this may have been largely unintentional: "She’s a girl, and he’s a guy, so, of course, they get together," < ignoring how said guy thinks she’s a guy and that she intentionally passes herself as a guy. Audiences ARE going to interpret this as queer because WE don’t live in Edo-era Japan. And I feel like people forget that Mizu can be a woman and the story can still have queer undertones to it at the same time.
#Blue Eye Samurai#‘If I was transported back in time… I’d try to pass myself off as a man for greater freedom.’#^^^ does not consider the intersection of historically queer existence across time with other identities (& the limitations those include)#nor does it consider the danger of such an action#I get it. some come to this conclusion simply because they know how dangerous it is to be a woman throughout history.#but rebuking the normative identities of that time period also puts you at great risk of violence#challenging norms and rules and social & political hierarchies does not make you safer#and it has always been those who exist in the margins of society who have challenged sociocultural systems#it has always been those at greatest risk and who've faced great violence already. like Mizu#Anyway... Mizu is just Mizu#she is gender queer (or gender-variant)#because her relationship with her gender is queer. because she is gender-variant#‘queer’ as a social/political class did not exist. but people WE understand as queer existed in different historical eras#and under different cultural systems#she’s a woman because queer did not exist & ‘woman’ was the sex caste she was born into#she’s also a woman because she conceptualizes herself as so#she is a woman AND she is gender-variant#she quite literally challenges normative identity and is a clear example of what sex non-conforming means#Before the actual. historic Tokugawa shogunate banned women from theater#there were women in the theater who cross-dressed for the theater and played male roles#so I’m also really tired of seeing takes along the lines of: ‘Edo Japan was backwards so cross dressers did’t exist then!’#like. please. be more transparent won’t you?
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Hi! I just read your analysis of the P&P 2005 costumes. I'm currently in the process of researching Regency-period fashion for fic purposes; I'm writing a f/f story in a slightly alternate Regency world in which on top of regular marriages, parents (especially in the higher classes) could and did arrange for gay marriages for those of their children who wouldn't inherit - the principle being that the parents could set these couples up with a part of the estate that, upon those couple's death, would revert back to the estate to be inherited onwards, and thus not mess with an entailed estate all that much.
Anyway, long story short, my thought was that in these marriages, there would *still* be a masculine and feminine role, just independent of gender - and there would be according fashions. So, for example, a man's three-piece suit for a woman who took the masculine role in a f/f marriage, just cut towards the female figure, and perhaps with other nods towards the wearer's gender too, and similar for a man who took the feminine role in a m/m marriage.
I just wanted to reach out and see what you think of this and see if you'd have as much fun thinking about this as I have!
Thank you for your message, this honestly sounds really cool!! I think it's very interesting idea to come up with reasoning how arranged same sex marriage would work in a Regency class and land ownership system. I absolutely had so much fun thinking about this, maybe too much fun because look at how long this post is :'D You are entirely free to ignore all of this, I just had a lot of ideas, since your story has such an interesting premise. If you any of this catches your fancy, use it however you like!
I think it makes sense that in a very patriarchal and gender essentialist Regency society the couple would be expected to perform heterosexuality even while literally being in a gay marriage. What you described, men's clothing fitted to women's undergarments, is basically what costumes for breeches roles were usually in theater, roles for female actors, usually as a young leading boy. (Reverse roles, male actors playing female characters, usually elder/motherly roles, were just as common.) Another approach could be to use the women's silhouette, skirt with empire waist, but otherwise the clothing is similar to men's fashion. While most women's Regency styles were particularly strongly contrasted with men's styles, there was quite a lot of masculine styles too, which might work for that purpose.
I think the approach that would make most sense depends on how you want the gnc people seen and understood in the althis society of your story. In Regency society cross-dressing, women wearing pants and men wearing skirts, was seen as stepping into the other gender role. Cross-dressing was not acceptable outside theater, and people who did it needed to be stealth. So if you vision them taking the role of the opposite gender fully and not just in their relationship - living as the opposite gender and treated like that gender (for example the gnc women are allowed men's education and gnc men are not etc.) - I think it makes more sense that they would be using similar clothing as the costumes of the cross-dressing roles in theater. In that specific position it would then become acceptable to cross-dress. But if you envision them more in the societal positions of their own/assigned gender, and just embodying some opposite gender roles, especially in their marriage, I think it might make more sense for them to use the basic silhouettes of the fashion of their gender but in style the opposite gender.
So if you're interested, here's some historical styles and some additional ideas that could work as inspiration.
Before Renaissance men and women's fashions were not separate, but they started drifting apart when wearing skirts became unacceptable for men (which I have a whole long post about). However, very quickly women's fashion started to take influence from men's fashion for certain styles. Riding habit was the first one of these masculine styles for women. It originated from 17th century as men's clothing but with a skirt. From very early on men's military uniforms were a huge influence. A distinctive feature compared to other styles is the long trail so when the woman sits on the horse, her legs are not too exposed. Here's some regency examples. First example is from mid 1797-98. The bodice is exactly in the style of men's fashion of the period. Second is from 1808 in a very militaristic style.
Redingote or pelisse was a long walking dress often in the masculine styles of the riding habit. It was adapted from riding habit to fashionable day wear for outdoors in 1780s. It started as very masculine in line with riding habits, but in 1800s styles without the masculine elements also appeared. Though masculine and military styles were still common. Here's first a redingote from 1800, which follows masculine fashion of the day very closely. The second is from 1810s and has collar from men's fashion and detailing and color are loose references to military styles. The third one is quite military inspired redingote from 1814. It has long train and was probably for carriage rides.
Spencer was a very short casual jacket, modelled after men's fashion again. It became fashionable in 1790s and in the following decades it gained many variations, some not at all masculine in style, and some for formal usage too. Here's very masculine styles as examples, first is from c. 1799, second from c. 1815.
One last trend I'll mention is very short hair imitating Roman men's hairstyles, which became very fashionable for men after the French Revolution, but very similar hair for women became a trend in late 1790s. It was a bold style but for couple of decades it was very popular. I think the woman in the first example above is growing out her Titus cut. There's a little tuft on top of her head, which makes it look like her hair isn't long enough for a bun but secured at the back anyway. Here's couple of actual examples. First is from early 1800s, specific date unknown, showing a slightly longer than usual version of the style. Second is from around the same time, 1798-1805, displaying very well how hair was cut to imitate side burns, which were fashionable for men. The third example from 1809 has the typical cut, where it's very short in the back of the head and little longer and curled in the front.
Many Regency sapphics did favour these styles, since they were acceptable ways to present in a more masculine manner. Anne Lister, perhaps the most famous Regency lesbian, presented very masculinely in her portraits. Below her outfit looks like a redingote in this 1822 painting. An infamous upper class Irish sapphic couple, Eleanor Butler and Sarah Ponsonby, lived together for decades in Whales. Here's an illustrations of them from 1818 in their older age wearing masculine redingotes and sporting Titus hairstyles.
I think in a society where gnc queer people are part of the system, they might have their own slightly different dress codes. For the gnc women/afab people I'm thinking their evening dress might have redingote or spence or perhaps open robe in style of men's evening wear which was black with white cravat (second image below). The open robe could be something like the first image below but fully black, tailored, with large lapels, high collars in the white chemisette and white cravat.
Men's gnc fashion is much harder problem since femininity in men was much less (and still very much seems to be) accepted than masculinity in women. I think it's the old patriarchal superiority of masculinity issue (even if women shouldn't break gender roles at least they are "upgrading", while men would be "downgrading"). I think it might be interesting thought to take inspiration from the styles previous to French Revolution. Regency men's fashion (all Regency fashion really) was result of the French Revolution. I talk more about it in this post, but previously manhood and womanhood had only really been fully available for the upper classes and they were based mostly on displays of wealth. The revolutionaries rejected the aristocratic gender construction and instead created their own. It was based less on class and more on the gender (and racial, but we won't have the time to touch on that here) divide. Aristocratic gender expressions were deemed decadent and the bad kind of feminine. (French Revolution may not have been the origins of the Madonna-whore complex, but they certainly cemented it to the public conscience.) That's how men's Regency fashion was stripped out of colour, detailing and luxurious materials, the overt displays of wealth. New masculine styles were all about evoking militarism, country side and practicality of a working man. Most of it was aesthetic and the class structure remained, but altered heavier in the lines of gender and race/ethnicity. To show you how the fashion was seen, here's couple of satirical cartoons both from 1787 literally calling men wearing the more courtly flamboyant styles women. (First source, second source.)
It's not entirely unrealistic that the outdated fashions would remain along the new styles. Courts were resistant to change (especially since the change had anti-monarchist implications) and upheld the outdated dress codes, so court suits were very much continuation of the fashion prior to the revolution (though court suits too started to become increasingly subdued by the 1820s). Here's examples from 1805 and 1813.
In an alternative historical world like this, I think the pre-revolution styles might have kept on and evolved as a more feminine version of the more general men's fashion. Since masculinity had been tied with rural areas and working class, I think the gnc men's style wouldn't have lapels or turned down collars, which originated from working class clothing, but upward collars like in the 18th century dress coats and Regency court suits (maybe downward collars in informal coats, but not lapels). Maybe they would keep on with the long hairstyles where they tie up their hair with a ribbon, though I don't think they would keep powdering the hair as it went out of fashion for women too. Instead they might style the front of the hair similar to women by cutting hair shorter in the front (basically a mullet) and curling the front of it to frame the face. I don't think they would be wearing the loose trousers, which were very strongly working class till the beginning of 1800s, when they started to be accepted as informal wear for upper class men. Though I think pantaloons would become informal part of feminine men's fashion after general men's fashion would start accepting them as formal wear around 1810s. Here's some examples from 1780s, which could be used as inspiration. First is from 1785-1790, second is from 1788 and the third is from c. 1770.
Dress coats were used still in the Regency era not just in court suits but also in morning dress. The cut and silhouette of men's fashion changed after the 1780s, most significantly with the shorter waistcoats. Here's couple of morning riding dresses (they have riding boots) from 1801 and 1806. I envision the feminine men's style as using the fashionable cuts and silhouette of the day, but combining them with the less structured and finer fabrics, patterns, colours and embelishments of pre-revolution styles. In evening wear I think they could wear white, like women, or at least light colours.
Okay, here's finally all my ideas, I had much more of them than I initially thought! It was so much fun to think about an alternative history like this, so thank you very much for your ask! I hope you found this fun or interesting to read at least, but please take my ideas as just my opinion and if any of it contradicts your vision, just ignore it. It's fiction and an alternative universe in addition so you can follow history just as much or little as you like.
Basically, your story sounds very cool, and I wish you good writing!
#historical fashion#fashion history#history#fashion#historical costuming#dress history#extant garment#costuming#regency fashion#fashion plate#painting#answers#queer history
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On this beautiful (two days after) Trans Day of Visibility, I give you a transgender kabuki actress!
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暁の物語 Akatsuki no Monogatari
光 Akane
(O-Akane or Akane-hime to be polite)
Asakura Heijirō (朝倉 炳次郎), better known by her public name O-Akane, is an onnagata: a cross-dressing kabuki actor specializing in female roles, as well as an oiran: a high-ranking courtesan; and she is Hikari's lover.
Born to a poor family but blessed with amazing looks and an ambitious mind, Akane turned to (male) prostitution very early on by necessity. When kabuki theater came into being, she found her calling: being onstage was not only a way to attract clients, but also to express herself, and to indulge in the femininity she had been hiding her whole life. She was soon able to make a name for herself, as both an actress and a cultured, high-ranking courtesan, allowed more choice and luxury than most of the women of the pleasure district.
She is the kind of courtesan who knows her own worth and knows how to use it to get what she wants. She is cunning (although not cruel), resilient and ambitious, which allows her to live a relatively enjoyable life in the pleasure district. Being able to live as a woman is more than she could hope for, and she can both put up with a lot and fight very fiercely to keep this privilege.
She met Hikari when he was visiting the pleasure district. He saw her perform onstage and was immediately struck and fascinated by her, enough to court her for many weeks before being allowed to meet her. Their relationship quickly grew beyond that of a client and a courtesan, into a romantic -albeit unusual and unstable- relationship. Akane feels that Hikari is the only person who truly understands her, both as a person, as a woman, and as a trans individual.
Hikari being a traveler, he only spends little time with Akane, which makes it all the more precious to both of them. Hikari sometimes still has his doubts about Akane's true feelings, which are something prostitutes often play with. Akane truly does love him, but she can't bring herself to dispel his doubts, because both of their lives are too complicated for clear-cut feelings.
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Akatsuki no Monogatari (the Tale of Dawn) takes place in the very beginning of the Edo era, in the transition years between the warring period of the Sengoku-Jidai and the two hundred years of peace under the Tokugawa shogunate. It is a story about change and beginnings, both of a person and of a country.
Some name lore and historical context under the cut!
Explanation of Akane's name:
Like most men of her time, Akane has a "public" first name (Akane), a "private" first name (Heijirō), and a family name (Asakura).
-Akane is the stage name she chose for herself. It is typically written 茜, which means "deep red" or "madder plant (Rubia cordifolia). But it turns out it can be written with 80 different kanji or combinations of kanji, one of them being... fucking hikari 光. Because kanji is a system created by the devil. So of course I had to pick that spelling.
Note that in the Edo era, women's names were typically written in kana, not in kanji. In a formal setting, she would normally be referred to as O-Akane, or Akane-hime (princess Akane - she is not a noble, it's just a fancy title like milady).
-Heijirō is Akane's male adult name that she received upon coming of age. It is normally written 平次郎 which means "even second son" ("even" being an auspicious adjective; men's names were often composed of a positive word and their order of birth). Except it turns out that "hei" can also be written with the kanji 炳, which means... bright and shining! Like fucking 光 (which means light). So I obviously had to choose that spelling. Maybe Akane was given the name "even second son" and changed the spelling herself to "bright second son".
-Asakura is Akane's family name, the spelling is inconsequential, I chose it simply for the sound.
A remark on Akane's gender identity:
She personally identifies as a person of feminine nature, insofar as she can conceptualize "identifying as a woman" in this historical context. In modern terms she is a trans woman; in the Edo era's society, she is a man who cross-dresses 24/7 For The Art. Yes that was a thing. I could not make this up if I wanted to. From what I understood of my research, Edo society kinda considered onnagata to be its own gender role.
To quote the book "Kabuki" by Masakatsu Gunji: "In the attempt, not just to express femininity, but to become a woman, [...] the daily lives of onnagata were lived in the same way as women in almost every detail. On the third day of the third month, they celebrated the Doll Festival; they did sewing in their spare time; and their clothes were those of women in every respect. This intense effort to become a woman, by being ultimately doomed to failure, served to create for other men a kind of abstract of femininity that somehow summed up its essence better than any individual woman ever could."
Disclaimer on historical accuracy:
I really cannot speak for the accuracy of Akane's costume. I did my best by referencing old ukiyo-e prints of oiran (courtesans), but at the end of the day this is a very approximate attempt on which I slapped some modern furisode (long sleeve ceremonial kimono) patterns. At least it looks rad.
Also, historically, it's not very realistic for Akane to be an onnagata. In the early days of kabuki, all the actresses were women, and a lot of them moonlit as prostitutes - the plays were a way to advertise themselves and attract clients. A shogunal ban was eventually placed on women in theater, displacing the problem and creating an opening for young male prostitution (and the basis for the future onnagata). Then young men were banned from kabuki for the same reason, and cross-dressing male actors had to be registered with the shogunate lest the audience thought there was an actual woman on stage (a scandal!).
From what I understood of my research, the direct ties between kabuki and prostitution seem to have been severed after the second ban (on young male actors), which was followed by an attempt by kabuki actors to appear more respectable. By the time kabuki was established as a proper art form and the onnagata became highly regarded trendsetters and fashion icons, actors were no longer prostitutes.
Akatsuki no Monogatari takes place in the early decades of the Edo era, so in the first years of kabuki, before onnagata became a thing. But sometimes, you just have to bend history a tiny bit to treat yourself to a cool transgender actress/prostitute.
#my ocs#akane#akatsuki no monogatari#kabuki#onnagata#japan#edo#edor era#transgender#blorbo from my brain
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Are there any bangtan performances that have caught your eye as having potentially queer interpretations outside of the obvious mma black swan choreo?
I've always found Jungkook and Jimin's Adult Ceremony piece as being super gay lmao but if not for the amusing behind the scenes
Adult Ceremony is such a good case study because we have the performance and the rehearsal in behind the scenes and the acts have different meanings, at least in my interpretation.
I know I sound like a broken record, but I will once again go back to Chuyun Oh's article ''Unmasking Queerness: Blurring and Solidifying Queer Lines through K-Pop Cross-Dressing''. I really recommend this article for anyone who is interested, you can find it online. Oh analizes two performanaces by male K-Pop idols, one in which they use humor to reinforce heterosexuality and heteronormativity and a second one that manages to blur the lines by using subversion.The original performances are made by girl groups and the boys are trying to imitate that. Despite Adult Ceremony not involving cross-dressing, I think I can use the author's analysis because she makes some really good points that can be applied to this particular situation.
Oh starts by contextualizing how queer Asian identity is understood saying ''focusing on liminal features of queerness decolonizes Asian queer aesthetics by unmasking Western-centered gay subjects. Queer is often understood as a Eurocentric concept with the implication that the non-Western subject should follow Western models''. I only have to look at shipping spaces and 90% of the bloggers and twitter users are guilty of doing this because they can't get rid of their Western bias and lens through which they try to understand Asian queer aesthetics.
Going back to using humor to reinforce heterosexuality, we can see that in BTS as well, especially back when they had to pretend to kiss each other, or they were dressed up in women's clothes. They always ended up laughing, breaking the fourth wall so to speak, in order to remind the audience that they're just playing for entertainment, it's nothing serious, this is not them as men, because they are ''real men''. Chuyun Oh goes back to theater and the theories about presentational (Brecht) and representational acting (Stanislavksi) to frame these types of performances.
A presentational acting style is a technique in which the actor maintains a distance from the roles they play, it creates an alienation effect. I could say that this applies to some acts of fanservice, but to get to the point of this actual ask, I think what Jimin did in the rehearsal for Adult Ceremony was presentational acting. He couldn't get into the ''role'', and the role was that he as a man had to dance on a song and choreography in which the movements were gendered and specifically female for the most part (although for JM and JK's performance they did add some Michael Jackson inspired moves for a short bit if I recall) and the original message was that of a woman offering herself to a man that had waited for her to become of legal age so they can finally have sex. Jimin was shy and always breaking out of his role, while Jungkook was playful, but despite that, I didn't see him using humor to deflect from what he was actually doing. It's also important to remember that Jungkook, when he dances girl group choreos, he doesn't turn to parody in order to reinforce that he's still a man. If the movements are feminine, he will move his body the exact same way. What Jungkook does is representational acting, the technique in which the actor immerses themselves into the role they play.
This representational acting happens during the actual performance because none of them break that fourth wall. Jimin and Jungkook are not imitating the women who dance, but they embody on stage their femininity as men. Wearing masculine fitting black costumes doesn't erase that. They also have a part of themselves that can be considered more androgynous in appearance. (As I said, one part of themselves, I didn't label any of them as androgynous men in general, this is important to note).
You said ''this piece is super gay'', but I would rather say it's a queer performance because it plays with gender presentation and blurs the lines between socially established genders and it creates a space for queer expression, a ''third realm, a space of possibility in gender construction''. I would like to end this with a last quote from the article because it sums up what performances like Adult Ceremony and Black Swan can be interpreted as, without using some very narrow, Western-centric concepts that require definitive identities:
''The ambivalent construction of homoerotic role-play signals that anyone can act, feel, and be queer without the danger of directly being marked as gay or homosexual. Such ambiguity has potential to liberate individuals and to allow alternative sexual identities moving away from stereotypes of homosexuality embedded in Western culture''.
I believe that narrow mindedness, a Western perspective of gender and sexual identity and being art and media illiterate, stops this fandom from being able to talk about Adult Ceremony or Black Swan as being queer performances, as they believe that by saying this, it automatically adds a certain label to these two men and assuming their homosexuality (as we all know, assuming straightness is completely fine apparently). It's ignorance because assuming men could be queer is not wrong and second, they are not able to separate someone's possible sexual identity from the art they are doing. If those two are connected, fine. It usually is in a lot of cases, but in this particular situations when someone's sexual identity becomes a blank canvas because of the industry, then I say that once again, it's fine to just focus on the art and if the art can be interpreted as queer, then so be it. We can look at them as artists and the art they're making without automatically making statements about them as private individuals.
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“...While men in skirts roles hark back to the Renaissance past, women adopting men’s roles was an entirely new phenomenon on the Restoration and eighteenth-century stage. Women decked out in “small clothes” rather than hooped petticoats, then, paradoxically figured as a modern, avant-garde moment in contrast to the earlier single-sex theater. In the progress of the play there is often an attempt to recuperate the cross-dressed woman into a stricter regulation of gender, and thus nostalgically to evoke an earlier time, while actresses in travestied dress consistently resisted close association with outdated assumptions about women and became instead harbingers of freedoms yet to come.
…Peg Woffington’s biographical history reveals that her character onstage and in public life, projected as an interiority effect, involved a complicated web of referents. Her gendered identity was confusingly signaled through her anatomy, costuming, and sexual reputation, but also through her identity as a private individual whose activities were closely monitored in the periodical press. There was conflation not only between the actress onstage and off, but also between the dramatic character and the new freedoms she embodied. Crossdressing enables dramatic characters to merge and diverge from their private personalities and actual bodies over the course of the play; playing a man, even fleetingly, allows them to exercise greater mobility than most women, something that was easily conflated with actual actresses’ greater access to public space than previous generations had possessed.
The cross-dressed Woffington, resonating with a cluster of real gender disguises at mid-century, could be regarded as a signifier of both political and sexual liberty. Actresses and other women masquerading as soldiers were perceived to be simultaneously erotic and patriotic, for sexual freedom paralleled other kinds of dangerous independence. Among the many examples, actress Charlotte Charke achieved greater mobility when cross-dressed in real life as Mr. Brown who cohabited with her “wife” Mrs. Brown; Mary Hamilton masqueraded as “the female husband,” Dr. Charles Hamilton, but came to trial in 1746 for having married Mary Price; and Hannah Snell published her story as the female soldier in 1750. Even David Garrick’s wife-to-be, Viennese dancer Eva Maria Violette, disguised herself as a man to enable her to travel by sea from Holland to Harwich in 1746.
Breeches roles in the theater, in addition to increasing nightly receipts because of the audience’s wish to admire women’s curves in pants, facilitated a variety of plot consequences in which the disguised heroine pursues her elusive lover whom she serves incognito; or she may act as liaison to a rival mistress. In other examples, a cross-dressed actress, tinged with homoerotic overtones, becomes the mistaken love object of another woman. A third category of cross-dressed figure is immediately recognizable as a woman: she wears male dress while remaining openly female in order to take up an occupation, such as a military officer, from which she is ordinarily restricted. Cross-dressed or travestied roles heighten attention to the constructedness of gender categories in the real world.
As Elin Diamond put it, “When gender is alienated or foregrounded, the spectator is enabled to see a sign system as a sign system. The gender lexicon becomes so many illusionistic trappings to be put on or shed at will.” It is no surprise, then, that moral conservatives at the turn into the eighteenth century imagined cross-dressing onstage and off to be a threat to Godgiven sexual difference. Jeremy Collier, a nonjuring Anglican clergyman who had refused to pledge allegiance to William and Mary, and who evidenced strong Jacobite sympathies, asserted that clothing must correspond to anatomy. In The Conduct of the Stage Consider’d (1721), for example, Collier argued that apparel should not be exchanged between the sexes, even for seemingly harmless amusement.
He wrote, “Men putting on womens Apparel, and Women Mens apparel, as they do in the Masquerades,is a Practice condemned by Revelation, and the Light of Nature. The Holy Scriptures tell us, The Women shall not wear that which pertains to the Man, neither shall a Man put on a Woman’s Garment; for all that do so are an Abomination to the Lord: Deut.22.5 . . . . Nature has made difference not only between the Sexes, but between the Apparel of Men and Women.” In short, the heterodox cross-dressed figure represented an artificial difference that competed with nature. It was, then, a clever ploy to use the character of a cross-dressed woman to call anti-Jacobites to arms later in the century, as Woffington did, and as late as 1745 swapping gender, even in costuming, was regarded with suspicion in some quarters.
A letter in the Daily Advertiser urged Charlotte Charke—who flagrantly dressed as a man in private life and played Macheath, George Barnwell, Lord Foppington, and Lothario in travesty—to resume playing female characters so as to appear in “her proper Sphere” by “laying aside the Hero,” which Charke had justified as occasioned by a scarcity of actors. Charke’s equivocal sexuality offstage invaded her stage persona and became troublingly real. The eighteenth-century audience’s pleasure in cross-dressed roles, as many critics have argued, was aroused partly through its recognition that the character was in camouflage, and that the woman’s body beneath the disguise could readily be distinguished. Indeed, Stephen Orgel believes that the whole point of Renaissance boys pretending to be women was that the audience could easily see through the impersonation to admire their budding masculine anatomy.
Many critics have argued similarly that in the Restoration and the eighteenth century the delicious ambiguity of breeches evoked pleasure because the woman’s figure beneath the male disguise was satisfyingly perceptible. Considering breeches roles in the eighteenth century Dror Wahrman, drawing on and extending Kristina Straub’s arguments, has maintained that penetrating the disguise to make out the female anatomy beneath the clothing signaled a larger historical shift from an ancien régime belief in a flexible, constructed identity to a fixed, essential gender identity as man or woman. But the steady historical progression from an unstable to a fixed gender identity at the end of the century is perhaps not as straightforward as Wahrman suggests, and in travesty roles no unveiling occurs.
Contemporary observers, for example, were quite divided in their opinions about the extent to which Peg Woffington succeeded in fooling the public into believing she was a man. Commentators like Thomas Davies thought that Woffington acted male parts perfectly and without a hint of femininity, while other observers, such as her manager, costar, and sometime lover David Garrick, maintained that she was indeterminately gendered as a sexual impersonator. Still others thought her acting as a man was so convincing it could teach male spectators proper gentlemanly conduct. In her cross-dressed theatrical roles at mid-century, Woffington by many accounts behaved as if she were a virile, heterosexual man; her interpretation of male characters was applauded for avoiding the excesses of femininity labeled “effeminate,” a term best understood as men’s exaggerated rendering of conventionally feminine mannerisms that regularly provoked satirical responses to foppish characters.
When Woffington impersonated a man, her effortlessness in inhabiting the parts, described as uninhibited and free, catapulted her to the top of her profession and established her reputation. Robert Hitchcock noted her natural ease in assuming a male character, for Woffington offered an “elegant portrait of the Young Man of Fashion in a stile perhaps beyond the author’s warmest ideas” (1: 108). James Quin compared Woffington’s breeches roles to Ned Kynaston’s impersonation of female characters but preferred her rendering to the Restoration actor’s because she was happily “dispossessed . . . of that aukward stiffness and effeminacy which so commonly attend the fair sex in breeches.” He continues, “It was a most nice point to decide between the gentlemen and ladies, whether she was the finest woman, or the prettiest fellow.”
In Quin’s view, the would-be opposites became indistinguishable from one another rather than antipodal, and the androgynous middle ground suggests a blending that made it difficult to discern the female form beneath the male costume. Francis Gentleman, too, remarked on her admirable blending of the sexes when he writes that her deportment in travesty as Sir Harry Wildair was “free and elegant, whose figure was so proportionate and delicate.” The “raison d’etre” for the breeches role rested “in the imperfect masculinity of the performer” (Rogers, “Breeches Part,” 257), but many of Woffington’s contemporaries strongly praised instead how “well made” she was as a “model of [male] perfection” without differentiating between breeches and travesty roles: “Indeed when she assumes ye man there is such a freedom in her air, such a Disengagement from ye woman, with ye happiness of Being perfectly well made, that it is by no means surprising that she has been followed with uncommon & universal applause.”
In short, to stage a convincing man whether in breeches or travesty meant, for many viewers, that Woffington separated herself completely from the gestures associated with female form and persuasively affected the style and manners of a gentleman; for others it involved combining the sexes in a harmonious fashion. As we shall see with reference to specific travesty or cross-dressed parts, Woffington represented the tensions for eighteenth-century Dublin and London audiences that Diana Taylor has found to be characteristic of modern identity with its “entangled surplus subjectivity, full of tugs, pressures, and pleasures.” Woffington’s popular characterizations in male dress also legislated against the idea that national identity rested on strict sexual difference, though her studied affectation of robust masculinity may have countered the nation’s fears of contamination from French effeminacy.
Yet while her transvestite impersonations and speeches rejected effeminacy, they also ambiguously incorporated women, of a certain sort, into the definition of nation: in her public performance as a man or a cross-dressed woman, Peg Woffington refuted both the idea that women should remain exclusively within the private domain and the belief that the female sex was entirely peripheral to the nation’s interests. Woffington’s surplus of identities in performance might be described, then, as creating a kind of value-added onto the commodity that she had become.
That is, the incremental increase in her value as a result of the very marketable identity-effect she produced could be converted into an economic surplus that resulted in higher net receipts for herself and the theater. In short, her simulated identity is the commodity that Woffington purveyed through the gaps and fissures exposed in her cross-dressed and travestied roles. That surplus of identities, created not only through reiterative performances but also through the varied sexual, religious, and national alignments they evoked, proves to be an index to modernity and key to the aspects of her interiority effect that produced her value.”
- Felicity Nussbaum, “ he Actress, Travesty, and Nation: Margaret Woffington.” in Rival Queens: Actresses, Performance, and the Eighteenth-Century British Theater
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Bessie Love (born Juanita Horton; September 10, 1898 – April 26, 1986) was an American-British actress who achieved prominence playing innocent, young girls and wholesome leading ladies in silent and early sound films. Her acting career spanned eight decades—from silent film to sound film, including theatre, radio, and television—and her performance in The Broadway Melody (1929) earned her a nomination for the Academy Award for Best Actress.
Love was born Juanita Horton in Midland, Texas, to John Cross Horton and Emma Jane Horton ( Savage). Her father was a cowboy and bartender, while her mother worked in and managed restaurants. She attended school in Midland until she was in the eighth grade, when her family moved to Arizona, New Mexico, and then to California, where they settled in Hollywood. When in Hollywood, her father became a chiropractor, and her mother worked at the Jantzen's Knitwear and Bathing Suits factory.
In June 1915, while a student at Los Angeles High School, Horton went to the set of a film to meet with actor Tom Mix, who had recommended that she visit him if she wanted to "get into pictures". However, when Mix was unavailable, she was advised to meet with pioneering film director D. W. Griffith, who put her under personal contract. When it was decided that her given name was too long for theater marquees and too difficult to pronounce, Griffith's associate Frank Woods gave Horton the stage name Bessie Love: "Bessie, because any child can pronounce it. And Love, because we want everyone to love her!" Love dropped out of high school to pursue her film career, but she completed her diploma in 1919.
Griffith gave her a small role in his Intolerance (1916). Although Intolerance was her first performance to be filmed, it was her ninth film to be released. The first films Love made were with Griffith's Fine Arts company, yet Intolerance was the only film that he formally directed.
Her "first role of importance" —in the second of her films to be released—was in The Flying Torpedo (1916). She later appeared opposite William S. Hart in The Aryan and with Douglas Fairbanks in The Good Bad-Man, Reggie Mixes In, and The Mystery of the Leaping Fish (all 1916). This string of appearances and supporting roles led to her first starring role, in A Sister of Six (1916). In her early career, she was likened to Mary Pickford, and was called "Our Mary" by Griffith.
As her roles got larger, her popularity gradually grew. In early 1918, Love left Fine Arts for a better contract with Pathé.[ After the Pathé films were unsuccessful, she signed a nine-film contract with Vitagraph later that year, all of which were directed by David Smith. Her performances often received positive reviews, but her films often were shown at smaller movie theaters, which impacted the growth of her career.
Upon the completion of her Vitagraph contract, Love became a free agent. She took an active role in the management of her career, and was represented by Gerald C. Duffy, the former editor of Picture-Play Magazine.
Love sought roles that were different from the little girls she had portrayed earlier in her career when under contract to studios. She played Asian women in The Vermilion Pencil (1922) and The Purple Dawn (1923); a drug-addicted mother in Human Wreckage (1923); a woman accused of murder in The Woman on the Jury (1924); an underworld flapper in Those Who Dance (1924); and versions of her real-life self in Night Life in Hollywood (1922), Souls for Sale (1923), and Mary of the Movies (1923).
As a film star, she was expected to entertain studio executives at parties, so she learned to sing, dance, and play the ukulele. She gradually honed these skills and later performed them onscreen and on the stage. Because of her performance in The King on Main Street (1925), Love is credited with being the first person to dance the Charleston on film, popularizing it in the United States. Her technique was documented in instructional guides, including a series of photographs by Edward Steichen. She subsequently performed the dance the following year in The Song and Dance Man.
In 1925, she starred in The Lost World, a science fiction adventure based on the novel of the same name by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. In 1927, she appeared in the successful Dress Parade, and was so impressed by her experiences on location that she wrote the unpublished novel Military Mary. A year later, she starred in The Matinee Idol, a romantic comedy directed by a young Frank Capra. Despite these successes, Love's career was on the decline. She lived frugally so that she could afford lessons in singing and dancing.
Love toured with a musical revue for sixteen weeks, which was so physically demanding that she broke a rib. The experience she gained on the vaudeville stage singing and dancing in three performances a day prepared her for the introduction of sound films. She appeared in the successful sound musical short film The Swell Head in early 1928, and was signed to MGM later that year.
In 1929, she appeared in her first feature-length sound film, the musical The Broadway Melody. Her performance earned her a nomination for the Academy Award for Best Actress, and the success of the film resulted in a five-year contract with MGM and an increase in her weekly salary from US$500 to $3,000 (equivalent to $45,000 in 2019)—$1,000 more than her male co-star Charles King.
She appeared in several other early musicals, including 1929's The Hollywood Revue of 1929 and 1930's Chasing Rainbows, Good News, and They Learned About Women. Her success in these musicals earned her the title "the screen's first musical comedy star."
However, the popularity of musical films waned, again putting her career in decline. Love is quoted as saying of her career: "I guess I'm through. They don't seem to want me any more." She shifted focus to her personal life, marrying in December 1929.
She semi-retired from films, and traveled with a musical revue that included clips from her films The Broadway Melody, The Hollywood Revue, and Chasing Rainbows. While on tour, she learned she was pregnant with her daughter, who was born in 1932. Love stopped her stage work to raise her daughter. In 1935, Love moved to England, briefly returning to the United States in 1936 to obtain a divorce.
During World War II in Britain, when it was difficult to find employment as an actress, Love worked as the script supervisor on the film drama San Demetrio London (1943). She also worked for the American Red Cross.
After the war, Love began acting again, this time primarily in the theater and on BBC Radio as a member of their Drama Repertory Company; she also played small roles in British films, often as an American tourist. Stage work included such productions as Love in Idleness (1944) and Born Yesterday (1947). She wrote and performed in The Homecoming, a semiautobiographical play, which opened in Perth, Scotland in 1958. Film work included The Barefoot Contessa (1954) with Humphrey Bogart, and Ealing Studios' Nowhere to Go (1958), and she had supporting roles in The Greengage Summer (1961) starring Kenneth More, the James Bond thriller On Her Majesty's Secret Service (1969), and John Schlesinger's Sunday Bloody Sunday (1971). In addition to playing the mother of Vanessa Redgrave's titular character in Isadora (1968), Love also served as dialect coach to the actress.
When television became popular, Love appeared in dozens of episodes of British television shows in the 1950s, '60s, and '70s. In October 1963, she became the subject of This Is Your Life when host Eamonn Andrews surprised her at the stage door of Never Too Late after its London opening. Guests included London Scrapbook director Derrick De Marney, her Forget Me Not (1922) co-star Gareth Hughes, actor Percy Marmont, her friend and Those Who Dance (1924) co-star Blanche Sweet, and her daughter Patricia.
Love appeared in John Osborne's play West of Suez (1971), and as "Aunt Pittypat" in a large-scale musical version of Gone with the Wind (1972). She also played Maud Cunard in the TV miniseries Edward & Mrs. Simpson in 1978. Her film work continued in the 1980s with roles in Ragtime (1981), Reds (1981), Lady Chatterley's Lover (1981), and—her final film—The Hunger (1983).
Love married agent William Hawks at St. James' Episcopal Church in South Pasadena, California on December 27, 1929. Mary Astor (Hawks's sister-in-law), Carmel Myers, and Norma Shearer were among her bridesmaids, with Irving Thalberg and Hawks's brother Howard serving as ushers. Following their wedding, the couple lived at the Havenhurst Apartments in Hollywood, and their only child, Patricia, was born in 1932. Four years later, the couple divorced.
Love moved to England with her daughter in 1935, a year before her divorce was final. Her life in England kept her out of the eye of her American fans, which resulted in the American press erroneously reporting her as dead multiple times. Love became a British subject in the late 1960s.
Love was a Christian Scientist.
After several years of declining health, Love died at the Mount Vernon Hospital in Northwood, London from natural causes on April 26, 1986. Her ashes are interred at Breakspear Crematorium in Ruislip, Hillingdon, England.
Cartoonist Alex Gard created a caricature of Love for Sardi's, the famed restaurant in Manhattan's Theater District. It is now part of the Billy Rose Theatre Division of the New York Public Library for the Performing Arts. Portraits of Love are also in the collections of the Smithsonian National Portrait Gallery in Washington, D.C. and the National Portrait Gallery in London.
Love periodically was interviewed by film historians, and was featured in the television documentary series The Hollywood Greats (1978) and Hollywood: A Celebration of the American Silent Film (1980), both about early filmmaking in Hollywood. She also loaned materials from her personal collection to museums. In 1962, she began contributing articles about her experiences to The Christian Science Monitor. In 1977, she published an autobiography entitled From Hollywood with Love.
For her contributions to the motion picture industry, Love was honored with a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame in 1960 at 6777 Hollywood Boulevard.
#bessie love#silent era#silent hollywood#silent movie stars#golden age of hollywood#classic movie stars#classic hollywood#1910s movies#1920s hollywood#1930s hollywood#1940s hollywood#1950s hollywood#1960s hollywood#1970s hollywood#1980s Hollywood
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TIMOTHÉE CHALAMET
New interview for German media (2020)
Translation
He is what Leonardo DiCaprio was in the 1990s. But Timothée Chalamet is not only enthusiastic as an actor. With his appearance, feminine and still male, he is also considered a model for a young generation. And he understands his work more politically than his predecessors did. Allow: the future of Hollywood!
NZZ am Sonntag magazine: Timothée, the story of a gay love "Call Me by Your Name" made you an international film star and earned you an Oscar nomination for best actor. What memory do you have of the evening in March 2018?
Timothée Chalamet: Oh, that was a fantastic evening! I went there with my mom, she was my date that evening. For me, a dream came true that day. I was so thankful to meet all these stars that I look up to. I had already met her at other events from time to time in the weeks before, so there was almost a buddy feeling - crazy! Friends of mine were also nominated, Saoirse Ronan and Greta Gerwig. And James Ivory even won an Oscar for our film, for the script. That was the most incredible moment.
In 2019 you were nominated a second time for the Golden Globe as the best supporting actor in «Beautiful Boy». Is that becoming the rule for you now?
I don't expect it in the near future. But of course I wouldn't mind if it works again at some point.
How has your life changed since the great success of "Call Me by Your Name"?
Oh, I don't think about that very much. I am happy that I have more options now and prefer to concentrate on doing good work and finding roles that challenge me. I've always been a violent film nerd, I grew up with indie films, I love this job - I was just extremely skeptical that young actors would get any chances out there. But the reactions from the audience confirm that it is worth being an actor. You can inspire people like that. We really wanted to say something with “The King” too. I love the language of the film alone - it is a cross between Shakespeare and “Game of Thrones”.
The drama “The King” deals with political issues such as abuse of power, manipulation, betrayal and trust. Did you learn anything personally from the subject?
When I was playing I noticed something: power feels very different than you think. Because you always feel yourself as a normal person, never as an overpowering figure or one of the most important drivers in the world. There are no machines even in the control centers of world politics. When I was in my costume and had to take on this leading role, I felt exactly like my young regent, who is faced with great tasks and challenges and who is not sure whether he can master them.
How does a young man, who carries a film of several million on his shoulders, who is quite slim by permission, deal with self-doubt? Didn't the heavy armor bring you to your knees, not to mention that you wielded the sword for hours?
The director wanted dirty, hard sword fights, and that's exactly what we shot. I gained a good seven kilos of muscle for this role. Of course I'm far from being a handsome warrior. If the director had wanted that, he would have taken another one. What we paid attention to was the attitude with which I went to war. It shouldn't be an invincible king, but one who just barely survives. The bottom line is that he still faces the fight. Nevertheless, I had a lot of fun with it. I was able to bring the ten-year-old to life in me.
Even if “The King” is not a superhero movie but a modern allegory, many young people will probably only watch the film for your sake.
Phew, it can be, of course I don't know. But if I can make these important issues accessible to the masses, then I'm happy. It's about what makes power out of people who only came to this position through privileges or their family tree. Yes, I was still at school six years ago and I remember how hard the teachers tried in vain to get us excited about politics. Today it really worries me which regents are currently in power.
You've been dating Lily-Rose Depp since the shoot. Now you are both considered new Hollywood royalties like Brangelina once. How do you like being such a modern prince?
Now I have to think carefully about what I say. Modern Prince: Somehow this description doesn't suit me at all. My career was not a straight line that quickly led to great success. I would describe it as a zigzag. I always chose very different projects, sometimes they ran better, sometimes worse. First I made small independent films. It was only last year that the projects suddenly got bigger, but "The King" and "Dune" were not filmed in the hustle and bustle of Hollywood. Honestly? I don't even feel like a movie star.
Do you still feel the pressure from your fans? Do you want to live up to expectations?
No. What I feel is really just a big thank you. Because films are important. I believe that films can change the world. You are just my big love. I am incredibly happy that they obviously want to see me in it. It's fantastic how much films can move, isn't it? I remember seeing the Oscar-winning drama "Moonlight" in a sold-out movie theater and how it was felt after the show how deeply the whole audience was touched by the story. I work to make moments like this possible!
And what about your own life? Do you also allow space for all the successes?
To be honest, I struggle quite a bit: to find a kind of balance or rhythm between my complete dedication to playing and a normal one - if there is any! - Development of my living conditions. At 24, that's easier than when I'm 17. But I still have no idea what is good for me, apart from playing.
How old were you when you realized you really wanted to be an actor?
13 years. That was in high school in New York, we had an acting class that I was enrolled in. And after a few hours it was clear to me: "That's my thing!" But maybe it wasn't that coincidental. I grew up in the show business environment. ,
Your mother was a dancer, your uncle is director Rodman Flender, your grandfather is screenwriter Harold Flender, and you went to the acting and art specialist high school La Guardia, along with Madonna's daughter Lourdes. , ,, , ,
But what really shaped me was the experience of performing something on stage with other people and thus generating deep emotions. When I finished high school, I immediately looked for an agent and started going to auditions. During an audition I met a colleague who had just got a small role in a TV series. That was when I felt my ambition for the first time: I wanted to achieve something. I really wanted to be part of a really good project, whether on TV, cinema or theater. ,
In any case, you've worked hard over the past few months.
But how! After “The King” came Greta Gerwig's historical drama “Little Women”, followed by Wes Anderson's “The French Dispatch”, and finally the sci-fi adventure “Dune” for six months in a row. That was a lot, but I'm incredibly grateful for the opportunities. The good thing is that you don't have time to think about all the work, you just concentrate on the task in front of you. I don't want to disappoint anyone.
Who is a source of inspiration for you personally?
Talented colleagues with whom I work, for example Greta Gerwig, with whom I have already made two films.
What seduced you to “Little Women”, which now starts in late January?
Greta as director and Saoirse Ronan as main actress, whom I also knew from Ladybird before. We are already something of a gang. I am very proud of “Little Women” and will soon see it together with Saoirse, that has already been agreed.
Do you mind if fans are more interested in your amours than in your work?
What can I say? I can hardly influence what people think. Fortunately, it doesn't feel like many are interested in me privately. I know that it can be dangerous for young people if they focus too much on what the public thinks about them. So I decided to just focus on my job and my work.
What is going on in you when you are greeted and cheered by thousands at premieres in Toronto, Venice or anywhere else in the world?
In Venice I was just happy that so many, especially young people came to the premiere. It's not like people go crazy every night when I leave the house. A premiere like this is an exceptional situation, and that's exactly how I perceive it. It is not real life.
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Onnagata or oyama (Japanese: 女形・女方, "woman-role"), are male actors who played women's roles in Japanese Kabuki theatre.
The modern all-male kabuki was originally known as yarō kabuki ("man kabuki") to distinguish it from earlier forms. In the early 17th century, shortly after the emergence of the genre, many kabuki theaters had an all-female cast (onna kabuki), with women playing men's roles as necessary. Wakashū kabuki ("adolescent-boy kabuki"), with a cast composed entirely of attractive young men playing both male and female roles, and frequently dealing in erotic themes, originated circa 1612.
Both onnagata and wakashū (or wakashū-gata), actors specializing in adolescent female roles (and usually adolescents themselves), were the subject of much appreciation by both male and female patrons, and were often prostitutes. All-male casts became the norm after 1629, when women were banned from appearing in kabuki due to the prevalent prostitution of actresses and violent quarrels among patrons for the actresses' favors. This ban failed to stop the problems, since the young male (wakashū) actors were also fervently pursued by patrons.
In 1642, onnagata roles were forbidden, resulting in plays that featured only male characters. These plays continued to have erotic content and generally featured many wakashū roles, often dealing in themes of nanshoku (male homosexuality); officials responded by banning wakashū roles as well. The ban on onnagata was lifted in 1644, and on wakashū in 1652, on the condition that all actors, regardless of role, adopted the adult male hairstyle with shaved pate. Onnagata and wakashū actors soon began wearing a small purple headscarf (murasaki bōshi or katsura) to cover the shaved portion, which became iconic signifiers of their roles and eventually became invested with erotic significance as a result. After authorities rescinded a ban on wig-wearing by onnagata and wakashū actors, the murasaki bōshi was replaced by a wig and now survives in a few older plays and as a ceremonial accessory.
After film was introduced in Japan at the end of the 19th century, the oyama continued to portray females in movies until the early 1920s. At that time, however, using real female actresses was coming into fashion with the introduction of realist shingeki films. The oyama staged a protest at Nikkatsu in 1922 in backlash against the lack of work because of this. Kabuki, however, remains all-male even today.
Oyama continue to appear in Kabuki today, though the term onnagata has come to be used much more commonly.
Every Kabuki actor is expected to have facility with onnagata techniques; and while it is tempting for Western opinion to equate onnagata with cross-dressing, or female impersonation, no kabuki actor's training is complete without mastery of what constitutes the techniques the Kabuki onnagata. The phenomenon is best identified with the kanji, 女形, for there is no English equivalent.
(In the prints of this era that I have seen, you can distinguish onnagata from women primarily by looking at their jaw: onnagata have a heavy, broad, masculine jaw, while women are generally drawn with a narrower jawline.)
1. Actor Nakamura Matsue III as the courtesan Agemaki from the play Sukeroku Yukari No Edo-Zakura, by Ryusai Shigeharu, 1830
2. Actor Nakamura Tomijûrô II as Ran No Kata, by Hasegawa Sadanobu I, 1840, from the play Gishinden Yomikiri Koshaku
3. Actor Onoe Kikugorô III as Shizuka Gozen in Yoshitsune Senbon Zakura (The Thousand Cherry Trees of Yoshitsune), 1830 by Ryusai Shigeharu
4. Actor Onoe Tamizô II as Okumi, The Ghost (Reikon) of Hôkaibô from phe Play Koi No Omokage, by Gatoken Shunshi, 1825
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Telling Lies In America 1985-1995: The Joe Eszterhas Era by Jessica Kiang
“Written by Joe Eszterhas” is a phrase that has not had much of a workout on US cinema screens in over twenty years—and it’s arguable whether the 1997, 19-screen nationwide release of certifiable shitshow Burn Hollywood Burn: An Alan Smithee Film exactly qualifies as “a workout.” But for those of us who had the parental training wheels come off our theatrical filmgoing in the late ‘80s or early ‘90s, there were few individuals more central to our cinematic coming-of-age. And with perhaps the sole exception of Shane Black, a different animal in any case, none of the others—the Spielbergs, Camerons, Tarantinos—were exclusively screenwriters. For over a decade, the Hungarian-born, Hollywood-minted superstar writer of Basic Instinct bestrode the adult-oriented commercial screenwriting mainstream like a smirking colossus in a tight dress wearing no underwear. And given that Hollywood is primarily how the USA, the most loudly, proudly self-created of nations, expresses itself to itself and to the rest of the world, by the man’s own bombastic standards it’s only a slight exaggeration to suggest that America, between the years of 1985 and 1995, was written by Joe Eszterhas.
But for all the dominance he exerted, the rules he rewrote and the sheer money he made, examining Eszterhas’ heyday today feels like an act of paleontology, even for those of us who lived through it. 1992 is not so very distant; in a variety of ways it is still with us. It was the year Quentin Tarantino, whose latest film is in theaters right now, broke out with his first, Reservoir Dogs. It was the year the current loathsome, racist, tinpot President of the United States made a cameo appearance in Home Alone 2: Lost in New York, back when he was merely a loathsome, racist, tinpot property tycoon. It was the year that the number one box office spot was taken by Disney’s animated Aladdin, which felt close enough in time that the live-action remake which—and I’ve checked my notes on this, apparently was a thing that happened to us in 2019—felt entirely too soon.
But it was also the year of Paul Verhoeven’s Basic Instinct, the sine qua non of Eszterhas-penned films. And if Sharon Stone’s lascivious leg-cross (Verhoeven’s invention, incidentally, not Eszterhas’) provided posterity with the most iconic upskirt of a blonde in a white dress since Marilyn Monroe’s encounter with a subway grate, that is largely all that remains to us of it today. Well, that and the instantly forgotten sequel (sans Eszterhasian involvement) that already seemed wildly anachronistic in 2006. The original film, its writer, the erotic thriller genre it exemplified, the dunderheaded sexual politics it upheld while attempting to subvert, the whole idea of a mainstream screenwriter having a brand at all (even one as loosely defined as “writer of films you don’t tell your parents you snuck into”), all seem like ancient relics. These are the artifacts not only of a bygone age but of an extinct genus, a whole evolutionary branch that was nipped in the bud so comprehensively that even now scientists might argue over how closely the skeletons of certain bird species resemble the bones of Basic Instinct.
This containment, however, is what makes looking back at the Eszterhas era so fascinating. His brief Hollywood hegemony is a microcosmic event in cinematic history, one with a beginning, middle, and an end (barring some late-breaking epilogue, or a post fade-to-black pan down to an ice pick under the bed). And it didn’t start with his first produced screenplay, for the leaden Sylvester Stallone truckers-union drama F.I.S.T. (Norman Jewison, 1978), although the glimmer of future feats of financial alchemy was already present in the reported $400,000 he received for the novelization. Dawn really broke for Eszterhas, as it did for three of the only other people who could legitimately be termed his peers as purveyors of massively popular, high-concept, low-brow ‘80s sensationalism (producers Don Simpson and Jerry Bruckheimer, director Adrian Lyne), with 1983’s Flashdance.
It was an improbable success, less a film than an aerobics video occasionally interrupted by some awkward sassy banter and Jennifer Beals’ popping-flashbulb smile. Its vanishingly thin story, which Eszterhas co-wrote, is of an 18-year-old welder in a steel mill, who moonlights as an exotic dancer while aspiring to become a ballerina—a logline that sounds like a hoot of derision even as an unadorned description—and is full of Eszterhasian hallmarks. There’s the high degree of preposterousness. There’s the gym scene, during which the ladies of the cast grimace and lift weights in full makeup, and while here the frictionless unreality of Lyne’s TV-commerical aesthetic makes the sequence abstract, the peculiar faith in the erotic potential of a workout would recur in the squash sequence in Jagged Edge (Richard Marqund, 1985) and the ludicrous gym date in Sliver (Phillip Noyce, 1993).
And Flashdance also prefigures almost the entire Eszterhas oeuvre in being a story that centers on a woman’s experience and that laudably—if here laughably—positions her career ambitions as at least equal to her romantic aspirations in the mechanism of the plot. But, as elsewhere, it’s a view of women constructed by a proudly unreconstructed man, directed and photographed by men. (Eszterhas’ hard-drinking, womanizing, hellraising, Hunter S. Thompson-of-the-movies persona is enjoyably self-mythologized in his memoir Hollywood Animal.) If anything, what comes across most strongly in Eszterhas’ conception of a “strong woman” is his bafflement when tasked with imagining what such a woman might have going on inside her brain. His filmography may be full of female-fronted titles, and may contain the most famous mons venus in film history, but most of Eszterhas’ work could not be more male gaze-y f it were written from the point of view of an actual phallus, like the closing chapter of his 2000 book American Rhapsody, which is narrated by Bill Clinton's penis, Willard (I am not making this up).
This powerfully eroticized dissociation, this sexualized incomprehension of women as people with interior lives, is the animating idea behind the most Eszterhasian of Eszterhas scripts. But it’s a blank space in which directors, and especially actresses, could sometimes find room to create for themselves. Sharon Stone is genuinely, in-on-the-joke fantastic in Basic Instinct—who else could have delivered “What are you going to do, charge me with smoking?” as if it were an unreturnable Wildean riposte? Costa-Gavras’ Music Box (1989) is by some distance the sturdiest and least dated of Eszterhas movies, a lot due to its comparative sexlessness, but also because of a great, warm, real performance from an Oscar-nominated Jessica Lange. Debra Winger just about wins out in her more thankless role in Costa-Gavras’ first Eszterhas collaboration, Betrayed (1988). And Glenn Close imbues the heroine of the superior thriller Jagged Edge with such shrewdness that it’s almost a liability to the believability of the central deception.
But live by the sword, die by the sword, and when the director/actress combo fails to operate in similar sympathy we get Stone horribly miscast as a… sexy wallflower?… in Sliver, or Linda Fiorentino visibly flailing as a… downtrodden femme fatale?… in Jade, or poor Elizabeth Berkley thrashing wildly about in the neon-lit swimming pool of kitsch that is Showgirls. In these failures, the writer’s almost panicky vision of women as vast, dangerous cognitive black holes is best revealed. But then, mistrust of the opposite sex is only one aspect of the wider mystery that underpins even Eszterhas’ outlier titles: his entire output is preoccupied with how little any of us can ever know anyone.
In Eszterhas’ semi-autobiographical Telling Lies In America (Guy Ferland, 1997), a teenage Hungarian immigrant (Brad Renfro) is dazzled by Kevin Bacon's smooth-talking DJ, but blindly unable to work out if he is friend or fiend. Music Box details a lawyer’s dawning disillusionment over her adored father's murderous past—eerily mirroring Eszterhas’ discovery of his own father’s collaboration with the Hungarian Nazi regime. Betrayed has Winger’s FBI agent falling for Tom Berenger’s farmer only to discover he is, in fact, the neo-Nazi she insisted to her bosses he was not, in similar vein to Jagged Edge, in which Close’s lawyer discovers that the lover she successfully defended actually dunnit after all.
Oftentimes, the credulity-stretching ambivalence of these characters is all that powers the suspense, as in the is-she-gonna-kill-him-or-is-she-just-orgasming moments in Basic Instinct. In the misbegotten Nowhere to Run (Robert Harmon, 1993) Jean-Claude Van Damme plays a ruthless ex-con turned valiant protector, his blockish inertia apparently meant to signal that inner ambiguity. More often, it leads to final-act fake-out twists so unmoored to anything like recognizable motivation that they become weirdly weightless, as in Sliver when Stone’s Carly does not know if she’s killed the right man until the final four seconds of the film, and where, had the coin-flip gone the other way, it would still be equally (un)believable.
If it’s part of the egotistical remit of the writer to believe they have an insight into human psychology, it’s remarkable how much of Eszterhas’ oeuvre pivots around how fundamentally unknowable people are to one another. And while that schtick, by which you can’t tell if someone cares for you or is simply a talented sociopathic mimic, resonated briefly at the exact moment when the grasping, solipsistic ‘80s were segueing into the untrustworthy, PR-managed ‘90s, it proved not to have much long-game sustain. Critics had always been sniffy about Eszterhas, who clearly mopped up his tears with massive wads of 100 dollar bills. But when audiences started staying away, like in the Showgirls and Jade-blighted annus horribilis of 1995, the inflationary bubble that allowed Eszterhas to command millions for two-page outlines scribbled, one suspects, on the back of strip club napkins, abruptly burst. The idea of screenwriter-as-auteur, or rather as reliable bellwether of commercial success, proved a fallacy, an expensive experiment that began and ended with Joe Eszterhas, its earliest progenitor, luckiest beneficiary, and biggest casualty.
Glossy, vacuous, adult-themed thrillers were not the only thing going on in Hollywood, and Eszterhas was not the only big-name screenwriter. Shane Black, writer of Lethal Weapon, also commanded astronomical sums for his early ‘90s scripts, but the key difference is that Black wrote in the register of the franchise-able action-spectacular blockbuster that would eventually trounce all others as the Hollywood model for the future. Black has gone on to become part of the Marvel machine as a writer and director, while aside from one Hungarian-language period film, Children of Glory (Krisztina Goda, 2006), Eszterhas’ contribution to the pop cultural landscape post-2000 has been in the form of self-aggrandizing memoirs, or highly public fallings-out with celebrities, like Mel Gibson, of a similarly corked vintage.
The tastemaker point of view has historically been to consider Eszterhas among the worst things that ever happened to Hollywood—so much so that disdain-dripping sarcasm seems to be the fallback for critics summarizing his impact. But while no one is going to make the case for the man’s filmography as some sort of artistic landmark, the Eszterhas era did represent one of the last gasps of a Hollywood that believed, however misguidedly, in personality over product, when the idiosyncrasies, idiocies and ideologies of a single person—a writer at that—could, with studio backing and a 1,500 theater release strategy, influence the cinematic development of an entire generation. That might not have seemed like a good thing but retrospect, like cocaine, is a helluva drug and in 2019, with blandly anonymous, market-tested content churned out by mega-corporations bi-weekly to siphon your hard-earneds away, the kind of salacious tackiness Eszterhas represented feels oddly adorable, even quaint. Now that singular talents—even the obnoxious and objectionable ones—who could make decent returns on mid-budget, adult-oriented mainstream fare, have been steamrollered by infantilizing, monolithic billion-dollar mega-franchises, it’s hard not to be a little nostalgic for the vanished hiccup of time when Hollywood briefly uncrossed its legs for Joe Eszterhas, and Joe Eszterhas told us all what he saw.
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Mugen Musou / Krung Thep ~ Moon Troupe 2019
Over the length of my trip I saw a pretty fair cross section of this show—way back in mid-March pre-Krung Thep changes in Takarazuka; the live viewing of Takarazuka raku with Miya’s sayonara show included; and last week in Tokyo, the first full day of Reiko’s absence with the cast changes in place.
I solidly did not enjoy Mugen Musou. I love Tamaki’s Tsukigumi, I love Miya Rurika and was so glad I had the opportunity to see her last show, and no one’s treatment in Mugen Musou was able to save it for me. I think perhaps if you read and enjoyed the novel, and also love Tsukigumi, there’s a decent chance that you’ll like this. I did not read the novel, and it felt very much like I had to as a prerequisite.
There was an awful lot jammed into an hour and a half. The flow of the show bothered me; there were so many scenes, they changed so quickly, and none of them felt very substantial to me. In Saito-sensei’s attempt to cover as much plot as humanly possible, I think he lost the characters; while I understood generally what was going on, I did not immediately get who many of the characters were, how they knew each other, or why many of them were doing what they were doing.
That provided a poor setup for my biggest gripe: I recognize that I am an American, and I am not necessarily the intended audience, and that this is certainly a big part of Japanese history and culture, but in the year 2019, the whole samurai honor I-must-kill-everyone-just-to-prove-I’m-strongest thing is not very compelling to me. If accompanied by moving character relationships (which, I hear, the novel has in spades), I can definitely give it a pass; but in the absence of onstage character development, that as the standalone force driving the story was simply not interesting or relatable enough to me to be enjoyable.
With a few exceptions—and this probably just goes back to the overall lack of character development—I thought most of the characters were ill fitted to their actresses. I don’t even think anyone did a poor job, everyone really gave it their best effort; my hang up lies entirely with the directorial choices, and I guess the choice of this show in general. I find Tamaki the most charming when she’s fully in wholesome ideal husband mode. I finally watched Elisabeth recently and liked her Tod a lot more than I expected also, so that was a fair out-of-the-box choice for her. The samurai with something to prove for no good reason other than that he’s embarrassed about his dad did not hit me where I want Tamaki to hit me. Otsu is not really presented with much depth; she’s pretty demure, and she spends the whole show waiting around for men to come back to her and gets sad when they break their promises. I was hoping we’d get something that would allow Sakura to show off her strengths a little more in her Grand Theater debut (although she did play the flute for real). I wanted more pining between Otsu and Musashi, but I didn’t really get it, and what there was seemed kind of one-sided on Otsu’s part. Kojiro, too, was one-note; I’m not sure what there was to him other than “the strongest dude” (oh, and he wears a cross, so he’s CHRISTIAN. That’s BACKSTORY). Miya did her damnedest, and she did manage a kind of cold sexy anime boy vibe, but again, especially for her last show, this was just not the kind of character I most enjoy seeing her play, nor did it play to her strengths in my opinion (with truly all the love in my heart for this woman, I have to say she cannot swordplay her way out of a wet paper bag). On my first viewing I thought Ari was the villain, but after the other two I don’t think there even is a villain; Ari seems to be just a stern guy from a dojo (that Musashi passed through when he was weak and thus *had to* defeat in its entirety when he got strong). Again, I don’t really know what his motivation was, and the character didn’t show off any of Ari’s charms, or challenge her in a meaningful way to try something different. Very few other people got roles substantial enough to be worth mentioning.
I DID enjoy some specific things:
Reiko’s character, Matahachi, was my favorite, and her portrayal was my favorite. Matahachi had personality, and amidst all this very serious samurai glory business going on, he had sort of his own contrary subplot that I found much more entertaining. He’s a loyal friend to Musashi, but also lazy, kinda dumb, and utterly useless. He runs away from home with Musashi in the beginning, but while Musashi is off on his quest for ultimate strength, Matahachi pretty much gives up, spends a lot of time sleeping in a brothel, has to do manual labor for 5 minutes and gets tired of it, and eventually happens upon a dying man who is trying to carry some sort of scroll of certification to Kojiro. Matahachi is thrilled at his great fortune; he takes the scroll from the dead guy and uses it to steal Kojiro’s identity, attracting hordes of women and scaring away thugs on his “reputation.” His aging parents WALK OUT OF THEIR TINY HOMETOWN with the purpose of finding him and bringing him home, and successfully find him and embarrass him in front of all his swooning admirers. I saw Oda on the first day she took over this role, and I wish I could have seen her after a little more warmup. She didn’t have the charm that endeared me to Reiko’s Matahachi, but she sure can hold her own with the rest of the upperclassmen in terms of acting and stage presence.
Toki-chan as Akemi, a girl who Sachika’s character took into her brothel and raised, gave me the heart-wrenching yearning I wanted from Musashi and Otsu. In the very first scene after the prologue, Akemi and Musashi are walking and talking (she’s taken a liking to him). Musashi finds a bell on the ground and sticks it into Akemi’s obi. For the remainder of the show, Akemi jingles softly with every appearance and every movement, haunted via sound by the reminder of her unrequited love for Musashi, making all of her longing looks more poignant.
There’s a scene at the end where Musashi sees a ghost/memory of his father (Shimon). Dad is like WHY DID YOU DO ANY OF THIS? and Musashi doesn’t really have an answer. Same, dad.
I loved Krung Thep so much the first time I saw it. Then it went through some changes, and I cooled a little on it, but still thought it was really good overall.
It’s been a 2-act heavy year so far, and Estrellas and Krung Thep (as of me writing this 2 days before Yukigumi shonichi) have been our only revues. I thought that for the most part the music in Krung Thep was beautiful, not really in a jam to the soundtrack way like Estrellas, but in a really nice ambient way; there are a lot of bells and other interesting sounds that we don’t get as frequently. It also has a dazzling gold aesthetic, the kind of spectacle you want as a Takarazuka lover going into a revue.
There were for sure some questionable moments. The boy band number (albeit this time with Sakura at the center of the boys), which, much to my chagrin, seems to have become a revue staple regardless of director, was originally THIS SONG, which I happen to know and love thanks to this Japanese version, so I forgave its presence. This was one of the three numbers that got the axe before filming day, and they replaced it with a synth remix of the Takarazuka classic C’est Magnifique. That rendered it no longer forgivable. The chuuzume was very long and set to Shall we Dance, but like... only the chorus over and over and over and over again with varying flair. It was also turbans doing absolutely nothing to disguise Daisuke’s favorite Latin ruffles, and, if not for the King and I undercurrent, it wouldn’t have fit with the rest of the show whatsoever. A King and I medley maybe would’ve been nice?
Standout numbers:
The first or second number after the prologue (depending on when you think the prologue ends) is a Reiko vs. Ari kickboxing match. It’s hammy and ridiculous and goes on for two whole rounds, which seemed TOO LONG for how awkward it was the first time I saw it... but then when the fight ends, they break into a song about “male friendship” and how they love each other no matter who wins or loses. After that I was stoked, and on subsequent viewings appreciated every detail down to their girlfriends and trainers in the audience.
There’s a beauuuutiful barefoot duet dance between Tamaki and Miya
Mayupon in drag singing in at least 3 octaves flawlessly. There’s an alternate timeline, perhaps a brighter one, where I’m just in Mayupon’s club
Admittedly one of my least favorite revue tropes where there’s a nightclub and a girl and a terrible boyfriend and a new guy who shows up and someone gets jealous and has a gun and the wrong person always dies... but this time Ari is in hotpants
The Grand Hotel numbers in the sayonara show are probably too tough a contender, but the Krung Thep kuroenbi is not only great (messy tailcoats with rolled sleeves, mmmmm) but also almost the best little taidan gift for Miya in the whole thing. I don’t know how they’re going to splice the frames together for the DVD, but it opens with Miya singing a solo, and then she goes down into the floor as the kuroenbi is starting (making it look like she won’t even be in it). The rest of the otokoyaku dance a bit, then Miya comes back up out of the floor dressed to match, and everyone else hits one of those sexy lunges in formation, and then they all turn their heads to look at her in unison. Ugh.
I’m gonna miss Miya!!!!! And I hope Reiko is doing ok.
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My Transgendered Lifestyle -- Read My Blog!
Resolve right now to explore roads you haven't previously traveled. 😊 You might be pleasantly surprised and you might discover some new facets about yourself that you didn't know existed! And most of all, have fun and enjoy starting with.... Reading my Tumblr Blog!
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I'm a lover of fashion and arts, with a lifelong passion for cherishing, honoring, and embracing all aspects of feminine beauty. My favorite creative outlet is cross dressing and gender bending. I look at this as an art form and take it very seriously. I try to create a very authentic, classy and often glam look once or twice a month that's not over the top like the drag queens (not that there's anything wrong with being an over the top drag queen! 😊 I've impersonated Marilyn Monroe for several Halloweens and a few parties here and there, and I must say that it's about the most fun I've ever had. Other celebrity impersonations I've done were Audrey Hepburn, Madonna, Paris Hilton, Bettie Page, Natalie Portman as the Black Swan, Daryl Hannah as the evil nurse from Kill Bill, and Elsa the Ice Queen from "Frozen".
I'm searching for fun people who are creative, bold, confident and very special who would appreciate and embrace the exciting and creative world of fashion, beauty, fitness, performing arts, role play, cosplay, pinup fashion, gender bending, and even (mild -- nothing hard core--I' m a sub)- S&M / B&D.
LGBTQBDSM -- If I'm looking for people who will accept me as I am, I certainly would would accept her lifestyle choices. Not many women would embrace this lifestyle--I realize this-- but I'm confident that there are some and within that group, I'm confident that there is one woman who's life I will enrich, and vice versa. I know she exists. My ultimate goal is establishing a long-term, romance-filled, caring and life sharing relationship, keeping in mind that marriage and serious relationships involve work, and I'm ready and willing to expend the effort and receive the rich personal rewards and fulfillment that love and caring brings.
Although my unorthodox lifestyle is not always easy, it's never boring and I feel very fortunate to have the desire and physical attributes to honor and cherish women and femininity in a realistic, creative, tasteful, respectful, loving and non-intrusive manner. It's a part of me that has always existed. Prior attempts to change and conform to a more traditional lifestyle have not worked for me, and as such, I have fully accepted and truly enjoy my femme side which I now know will always be a part of me. I get a lot of questions like "Are you in femme mode 24/7?" So I'll answer that question early in the profile and say, no my "everyday look" is male. (But I often playfully note the difference between me in male mode and me in femme mode as "drab vs. fab" 😊.
As a male, I'm often mistaken for a much younger person, (and occasionally mistaken for a girl--woo hoo!!) which in my opinion, is due to my dedication to health and exercise, my slender body and lack of facial hair, creative and fun choices in fashion, and a youthful fun, and positive outlook on life. No boring baggy jeans "dockers" or Donald Trump Navy Blue Suit/ (ridiculously long) Red Tie for me, thank you!
I have lots of goals which can be pursued in male or femme modes, including... ...finding a (romantic or platonic) partner for Rollerblading and ice skating at the outdoor rinks--(a great exercise and AN ABSOLUTE MUST for the body, mood, and mental clarity!) my favorite ice rink is the Sculpture Garden at 7th & Constitution Ave. I've been skating the outdoor rinks heavily since 2016.
During the warmer months (April - November) I bump up the rollerblading and cut back on the ice skating, going to the indoor rink at Mount Vernon Recreation center or the Medstar (formerly known as Kettler) Iceplex in Ballston once or twice during the summer if that. I always look forward to the beautiful spring and summer days on my rollerblades with a return to the outdoor ice rinks in November. The beginning of spring -- with the cherry blossoms -- the mild air and the longer days, is my favorite time of year. I look at it as a reward for enduring the winter months!
I also would like to explore and cultivate more activities such as:
★First and foremost★ ---Vacations--(Key West, Italy, and Hawaii are just a few of the places on my list). I have not traveled for pleasure much, but doing more of this is one of my top goals. Over the years, I've traveled for business, but I usually found those trips to be boring. I'd welcome the opportunity to meet someone who is interested in vacationing more and would like a fun vacation partner, even if it's just on a platonic level. In July, 2016 I met up with a group of rollerbladers in Copenhagen for three days of Denmark city and rural skating -- my first visit to Denmark! I re-joined that group for four days in Seville (Spain) in the first week of October, 2017. What a lovely city and a very rewarding (although exhausting!) experience! And for 2018 --in early September I joined them for the third time in three years: ✫¸.•°*”˜˜”*° PARIS!´✫¸.•°*”˜˜”*° c'était merveilleux!!! August 4, 2019 update: In mid July, I spent a lovely week in Berlin with this wonderful group -- many friends and familiar faces, as well as some new friends! I'm looking forward to my next European trip -- probably during the summer or fall of 2020.
★ Ballroom dancing--I'm a complete novice, but I think it would be fun to try, and perhaps occasionally (with the right partner) experimenting with reversing the roles, with the girl -- the genetic girl that is --wearing a men's suit and leading! I also have three relatively new and strong dance passions: (1) "The Carolina Shag" (2) Tap Dancing, and (3) Popping. When done with precision, The Shag is a joy to watch and I'm sure it's even more fun to perform. Watch these two Shaggers and you'll probably catch the Shag Fever too!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8l5pczCZw04
If you're a good dance instructor, I'd certainly be willing to pay you for lessons -- even if you're not interested in forming any type of personal relationship.
★ Movies and theater (here in the DC area, but also day and/or overnight trips to New York). I think this is an aesthetically stimulating activity, yet most of us seem to only do this sort of thing every now and then.
★ Al fresco dining -- beautiful weather and people watching in all parts of DC, Bethesda, Fells Point, Inner Harbor and many others. Warm summer nights enjoying dinner, the energy and enthusiasm at the Georgetown waterfront (Washington Harbor is as good as it gets! And after dinner, a leisurely stroll along the waterfront or through some of the more vibrant sections of town to me, is very romantic. And the brand new "Wharf" on the SW DC waterfront has a lot of promise! I often like to do something very different and get really dressed up (sometimes femme, sometimes homme) and enjoy a nice restaurant during the week when everyone else seems to be in "business attire" or casual mode.
★ Home improvement projects. I'm AWFUL at doing these things myself, but I'm confident that these skills can be learned and I think I'd get a lot more satisfaction from doing some projects myself, such as painting, trim/molding replacement and addition, tile installation. I think it would be interesting to find a woman who has these skills, and also a bit ironic me to learn from her while I give her advice about makeup and clothes/accessories!
A topic related to home improvement is automobile repair and maintenance. I own a wonderful older BMW, but things break and wear out. If you're good at automobile repair/maintenance, I'm always looking for someone who enjoys working on older cars. Many of the shops in my area take the easy way out and say, "we'd rather not work on a car this old -- too much trouble and limited parts availability".
★ I'd like to do something to help disadvantaged children or others who aren't as fortunate as myself. I'm open to any suggestions you may have, and if this is something you're involved in, I'd certainly be interested in joining you in doing some good things for others.
★ Horseback riding. I've been on and around horses about a dozen times over the years, which has given me only basic knowledge and skills. I'd like to get serious about it, making riding a regular part of my life. I know that owning a horse is A LOT of work, so if you own a horse, I would gladly help out with the chores.
★ I love water skiing, jet skiing, and surfing. My first time on water skis was when I was 14 years old, and after about one hour of using two skis, I was able to get up on one ski. I haven't been water skiing in many years, but one thing is certain -- I do not want to own a boat! It's just too much work and too many headaches. Many people know the expression, ..."the two happiest days of my life: The day I bought my boat, and the day I SOLD my boat!"... So not having access to a boat means I won't be doing much water skiing! And not living near a beach means that I won't be doing much surfing! So you might be wondering why I even mentioned these activities. I guess it's just something that provides a lot of enjoyment just thinking about it. And I love to watch the surfing documentaries and imagine myself on those 50+ foot waves on Hawaii's North Shore. I guess we all have things that we fantasize about!
I'll be happy to answer ANY questions you may have. I'm single, never married (but there's still hope for me!), no kids, creative, imaginative, and lots of fun. I own a wonderful townhouse in a vibrant location (almost free and clear!), I'm financially secure, and I try to lead a healthy, active, and relatively stress-free life. And if you've read this far and decided that this is just too much for you, well I certainly understand, but I hope what you just read provided a fun and interesting diversion to your day and perhaps gave you a reason to smile or the notion to pass this along to one of your friends who may be more inclined to embrace a multi-faceted, non-traditional relationship.
You are MORE THAN WELCOME to express an interest in becoming a platonic friend or an activity partner! And to suz, sko, sso, and t ...Thanks for dropping in! 😊 All the best to you in your search for your ideal match!
Oh good! You're still reading.😊 My career for the last 20 years has involved doing what I absolutely love. My work doesn't really seem like work to me and that's how I know that it's the right thing for me! I often think to myself, ..."wow, I can't believe I'm getting PAID for doing this!"
I’m especially good at:
★ Making people feel good about themselves. Recently the American Film Institute honored Jane Fonda. When she spoke, one of her comments was particularly thought provoking: "It's better to be interested than interesting". I have long realized that asking questions about others rather than bragging about oneself works best and feels right for me.
★ Reflexology, which I will gladly provide on a regular basis for someone near and dear to me. If you wear heels a lot, you will love the soothing and stress reducing aspects of this wonderful type of massage.
★ Rollerblading and Ice Skating -- I love and thrive on the exercise that these invigorating activities provide. I am thankful that I have an outlet for exercise that doesn't really seem like exercise. Plus no health club dues, golf green fees, or other significant costs associated with many exercise and recreational routines! I think I'd get bored with running or riding the stationary bike, or walking the treadmill. And if I'm bored with it, I would most likely limit the activity or even give it up.
★ Thinking, feeling, and dressing in a youthful, energetic, creative, and fun way. I am enamored with Betsey Johnson -- the 73 year old fashion designer who to me, is the epitome of a youthful, creative, energetic and fun mindset! She is known to do a cartwheel on stage at the end of her fashion shows! Another older person who had tons of energy and refused to fade away was Elaine Stritch, the Broadway actress and singer. There's a wonderful documentary about her called "Elaine Stritch: Shoot Me". At the other end of the spectrum, my next door neighbor for example -- who is just a few years older than me -- usually wears faded and worn shorts, a dingy white t-shirt, black socks and wing tip shoes, and seems to have a constant scowl on his face. Really? Black socks and wing tip shoes with shorts?? If he's going for the "frumpy old man look", he's got it down pat!
★ The Sunday Washington Post crossword puzzle-- I consistently get 95-100% of the answers. I'm always amazed at how I might feel I am totally stumped, but come back the next day to easily get more answers right. I've heard that regular crossword puzzle activity is good for Alzheimer's prevention.
★ I make awesome Espresso! I've tried them all, but the one I keep going back to is "Cafe Bustello". Oh yes, and did I mention I'm good with makeup and femme fashions?
★ The first thing people notice about me is healthy smooth, radiant and glowing skin which has almost no facial hair.
Movies give me a lot of enjoyment. I have a wide range of interests including TCM, and in particular movies by Alfred Hitchcock, David Lynch, Quentin Tarrantino, Woody Allen, Mel Brooks, and Stanley Kubrick to name a few. I have recently become familiar with the work of a French director Catherine Breillat. Her films have over the years sparked a lot of controversy, mainly due to her blunt and objective handling of sexual themes.
Are there any movies that make you cry every time you see them? The first time I saw "The Kite Runner" I cried. The second time I saw it, I wanted to see if it had the same effect, and yes it did. And even the third time I saw it, I cried. This kind of emotional release is very therapeutic! There have been other movies over the years that have made me cry, but a box of Kleenex is always needed for a viewing of "The Kite Runner". I'd be interested in hearing about any movies that have a similar effect on you.
I can rely on "Cinema Paradiso", the 1990 Oscar winning Italian film, to produce a strong emotional response.
The Oscar nominated 1985 Swedish film, "My Life As a Dog" is also very touching and poignant.
Another example, and another Oscar winner, is "Dances With Wolves". One of the final scenes, in which "Wind In His Hair" shouts down at "Dances With Wolves" from a ridge high above: ...."I am Wind in His Hair! Do you see that I am your friend? Can you see that I will always be your friend?"
"Manchester By the Sea" starring Casey Affleck (2017 Oscar Winner for Best Actor). If that movie doesn't move you, I really can't imagine what would!
The ending of "To Sir With Love" -- Sydney Poitier as Mr. Thakeray (aka Sir) accepting his gift from his students: ..."well ... I think I better go and put it away"... Gets to me every time!
And speaking of Sydney Poitier, I recently saw "A Raisin in the Sun" (1961) in its entirety. I've seen bits and pieces, but oddly-- had not seen the whole movie. I'm amazed that Sydney wasn't nominated for an Oscar in this role. And I now am very eager to see the play!
In 2018, I saw two Japanese movies on a flight that brought me to tears. Perhaps it was the travel exhaustion that brought it on, but there I was, sitting quietly with a river of tears flowing on my face. The first one was called, "The Lies She Loved", and the second one which REALLY got to me, was called "Color Me True".
Over thirty years ago, I saw a movie directed by Steven Spielberg called "Empire of the Sun" which starred a 13 year old unknown actor named Christian Bale. Of course, most of us movie lovers know that CB is now a mega star. I was fortunate enough to see it again recently, now with high definition and surround sound! The story is set in the early 1940's. A privileged English boy (Bale) is living in Shanghai when the Japanese invade and force all foreigners into prison camps. I was surprised to see that the reviews -- even the great Roger Ebert, gave this film a lukewarm review. But I loved it, and cried a river of tears!
I occasionally enjoy movies that are very poorly written, directed and acted. You know, movies that are so bad they are good! Many of us know about Ed Wood -- probably the most famous of the bad movie directors-- "the worst of the worst!" I recently discovered a director named Bert I. Gordon who specialized in really bad sci-fi movies. What makes these movies even funnier is the fact that they were intended to be serious drama. The special effects were hilarious and very low budget, the acting was stiff, and the plots lacked any kind of structure and logic. Gordon's "Attack of the Puppet People" (1958) is delightfully bad! In this movie, a mad scientist/doll maker shrinks people so they can be his puppets!¸.•°*”˜˜”*°•.✫And... "Queen of Outer Space" (1958) starring Zsa Zsa Gabor. No additional explanation is necessary for this one! And extremely bad movies aren't limited to the 50's.
After recently seeing "The Disaster Artist" (2017), it appears that Ed Wood has some serious competition for worst director and worst movie of all time. His name is Tommy Wiseau and his movie from 2003 titled, "The Room" is a perfect example of film making at its worst. You can learn all about this delightfully bad monstrosity by watching The Disaster Artist which is by the way, an excellent movie about the making of an awful movie. Don't miss it!
I prefer film noir and drama over comedy, sci-fi, and rom-com, but I really can't think of a genre that hasn't provided me with some enjoyment. I think I've seen every "Twilight Zone" episode --the original ones with Rod Serling--multiple times. I always enjoy the SciFi Channel's New Year's Day Twilight Zone Marathon! If you have a favorite TZ episode, I'd be interested in hearing about it. Three of my favorites are "What You Need", "Eye of the Beholder", "To Serve Man" (IT'S A COOKBOOK!!! 😊), and "Twenty-Two" ("Room for one more, Honey!)
Musicals: Chicago, Rocky Horror, Hair Spray, The Producers, West Side Story, and Frozen. "The Fabulous Baker Boys", while not really a musical, features one of my favorite and most sensual performances ever: Michelle Pfeiffer singing "Making Whoopee" while lounging on top of Jeff Bridges' piano in a slinky red dress. I know that Jeff Bridges wasn't really playing the piano, but they did such a good job making it look as though he was actually playing. And note how Michelle steps down off the piano to sit next to Jeff -- stepping on a very thin ledge while wearing very high heels. How did she do that?
Everyone knows and loves the dancing of Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers, including myself. But the often overlooked solo performances from Ginger are amazing. One in particular was from a 1942 movie called "Roxie Hart" which, by the way was the inspiration for the musical, "Chicago". In "Roxie Hart", Ginger does sort of a tap dance going up these metal stairs and she just makes it look so effortless. I also love the quote (it's origin is not exactly clear), ..."Ginger Rogers did everything Fred Astaire did, except backwards and wearing high heels!"
Other vintage female dancers who mesmerize me are Vera Ellen, Cyd Charisse, Debbie Reynolds, Rita Moreno, Leslie Caron, Ann Miller, and Mitzi Gaynor. And probably the most entertaining dance sequence I've ever seen on film (oddly enough performed by a man--go figure!) is Donald O'Connor doing "Make Them Laugh" in the movie, "Singing In the Rain" ====>
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lO-FXFfhsEc
The 2011 Oscar winning film, "The Artist" has an amazing dance sequence at the end featuring the ultra charming Berenice Bejo as "Peppy Miller"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i2nNmU5v8zM
Occasionally I'll see a movie for the first time even though it was made decades ago One such example -- an amazing movie-- is "Reflections in a Golden Eye" (1967). I can't believe I missed seeing it all these years. Well, without giving too much of the plot away, it's set in the late 1940's and centers around an army Major's (Marlon Brando) latent homosexuality. And because it was the 1940's the major's sexuality is revealed only with subtle clues. His wife is played by one of the greatest actresses that ever lived -- Elizabeth Taylor. In one scene, an army Colonel (Brian Keith) comments that the army could have "made a man" out of his effeminate domestic worker and that he would have been a "better person" if he acted "normally". The major (Brando) then comments (in his typical Brando vocal style), and I'm paraphrasing some of it:
"So what you're saying is, that any FULFILLMENT obtained at the EXPENSE OF NORMALCY is wrong, and should NOT be allowed to bring happiness. In short, it is better, because it is MORALLY HONORABLE, for the SQUARE PEG to keep scraping about the round hole rather than to DISCOVER AND USE the unorthodox square that would fit it’ The Colonel replies, Why, you put it exactly right. ‘Don’t you agree with me?’ Brando's character: "No" (I think this is a significant and poignant anti-hate /pro tolerance message, especially for a film made in 1967)
✫I recently saw for the first time, a movie made in 1965 which was an adaption of a play from 1962 called "A Thousand Clowns" starring Jason Robards. His character (Murray) is an eccentric comedy writer who is pressured to conform to society in order to retain custody of his 12 year old nephew.
An example of his eccentricity -- here Murray is leaning out of his window, very early before most people are awake. He yells: “This is your neighbor speaking! I'm sure I speak for all of us when I say that something must be done about your garbage cans in the alley here. [raises voice even louder] It is definitely second-rate garbage. Now, by next week I want to see a better class of garbage: more empty champagne bottles and caviar cans! I'm sure you're all behind me on this. So let's snap it up and get on the ball!”
Another great quote from 1,000 Clowns:
“Five months ago I was on the subway on my way to work, was sitting on the express same as every morning looking out the window watching the local stops go by in the dark with an empty head and my arms folded, not feeling great, not feeling rotten, just not feeling. And for a minute I couldn't remember, I didn't know, unless I really concentrated, whether it was a Tuesday or a Thursday or a... for a minute it could have been any day. I gotta know what day it is. I gotta know what's the name of the game and what the rules are without anyone else telling me. You gotta own your own days and name 'em, each one of 'em, every one of 'em, or else the years go right by and none of them belong to you. And that ain't just for weekends, kiddo.”
I am a big fan of anything written by Tennessee Williams... including a recent discovery -- a 1962 film based on Tennessee Williams' play "Period of Adjustment". This gem of a movie starred a very young, sweet, and feminine Jane Fonda! Delightful! I loved the movie before I even knew it was written by T. Williams! My favorite TW plays: Hey, why list them? I love them all!
And I'm starting to have a huge appreciation for the works of Ingmar Bergman. I was recently fascinated by his 1960 film, "The Virgin Spring".
Sergio Leone's "Man With No Name Trilogy" starring Clint Eastwood:
........."A Fistful of Dollars" (1964)
........."For a Few Dollars More" (1965)
........."The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly" (1966)
All three released in the U.S. in 1967
The critically acclaimed "The Danish Girl" (2015) had a very strong impact on me.
August 4, 2019 Update: I can't believe I omitted one of the best movies I've ever seen: From 1957, "Twelve Angry Men". 95% of this movie is set in a small, hot jury room with no air conditioning. They are all trying to reach a verdict in a murder trial. A brilliant film with lots of big names in the cast, this movie received a very rare 100% rating on the Rotten Tomatoes Tomatometer. It has also been performed on stage, although I haven't seen the play. Hopefully, I'll get to see it one day soon.
Oddly, I had never seen "Gone With the Wind" in it's entirety until July 2019. Many consider this one of the best movies of all time. My opinion: Yes, I liked it but it doesn't make my top ten list.
Nancy Kwan--the beautiful Eurasian actress who made a big splash in the early 1960's with "The World of Suzy Wong" and "Flower Drum Song"-- mesmerized me when I was about 12 years old, and continues to mesmerize me to this day. Oh, the way she wore those beautiful silk Chinese Dresses -- I now know that those dresses are called "cheongsams". So if you are Asian, Asian American, or of any other heritage and you like to wear the cheongsam, please "go to the front of the line"--you will mesmerize me just as Nancy has done for all these years and have me eating out of the palm of your hand 😊. Nancy was exquisite in her performance of "I Enjoy Being a Girl" and I'm sure you will enjoy this wonderful number:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8JigBfoDtzY
I have been a regular SNL (Saturday Night Live) viewer since day one (1975). In 1982 I bought my fist VCR (remember VCR's? :-) solely for the purpose of recording SNL. It's hard to believe that a "great deal" on a VCR in those days was $549 -- which is what I paid for a VCR that could only be programmed to record one show. And it had a WIRED remote. Today, if you can even FIND a VCR for sale new, it would cost you around $19.95
Music: I have a large and eclectic collection on my smart-phone. I'd be happy to send you a list of those songs to give you an idea of the music I like to listen to. One thought that seems to come up regularly is how certain bands kind of "Jump the Shark". Bands that were in my opinion, once really good but in an effort to become more mainstream, they lose what once made them stand out.
When I listen to some of the early songs of the band "Chicago" or as they were originally referred to, "The Chicago Transit Authority" circa 1968-71) I can't believe how much better they were when compared to the mid 1970's and beyond Chicago. The later version just got kind of sappy and boring whereas the earlier stuff just had more grit and edge. For example, compare "25 or 6 to Four" and "I'm a Man" (the long versions) to "Saturday In the Park" or "If you Leave Me Now".
Similarly, the Doobie Brothers lost their edge when Michael McDonald came in and, in my opinion ruined them!
Rod Stewart underwent a ridiculous (and sad) transformation when he started singing songs from the 1930's and 1940's. Really? Rod Stewart, the rocker? Singing "It Had to Be You" ??! I don't think Mick Jagger would ever sink this low! Just my humble opinion though. Feel free to disagree!
I'm not a huge fan of "The Grateful Dead" -- I like them I suppose in small doses. But one thing about "The Dead" as their big fans call them, is that they never "sold out" by trying to appeal to the masses and altering their style. I really respect that about this group.
Occasionally I make huge errors in assessing new talent. I'm kind of embarrassed to admit this, but regarding the singers Sheryl Crow and Taylor Swift, I remember when they first started, my thoughts were that they were just a "flash in the pan" and couldn't possibly have any long term success and significance in the music world.
Wow, did I blow the call on those two. They are now very high on my list of singers/songwriters and I couldn't have been more wrong about them.
Conversely, for some newcomers I predict huge things and they end up just being mediocre or their shelf life expires very rapidly. When "Jewel" first arrived on the scene, I fell in love with her work, and yes she did have some early success, but she never became a mega-star.
Fiona Apple was (and continues to be) an extremely talented singer/songwriter and I was infatuated with her from the start, but (maybe by her own choice?), she has stayed out of the limelight and never hit the heights that I predicted for her.
Sports: My interest in sports over the years has fluctuated. There was a time when I wasn't even aware of who was playing in the Super Bowl or World Series. During the past ten years though, I've returned to watching sports and I attribute this entirely to the DVR. Watching sports that are not recorded or delayed is so tedious with all the commercials. and down time. When I record them I watch only what I want to watch, zipping through the commercials and other non essential airtime.
Which sports? Football (college is better than pro!), Baseball (usually just the post season playoffs though), Basketball (March Madness NCAA Tournament only -- I'm slowly warming up to NBA Basketball), Ice Hockey (my interest grows as the Stanley Cup Playoffs start-- and YES!! THE CAPS WON THE 2018 STANLEY CUP FOR THE FIST TIME IN THEIR 44 YEAR EXISTENCE!!), and Horse Racing -- only during May and June when the Triple Crown Races are held. I love women's figure skating--these girls are awesome!
And I WISH we had professional women's fast pitch softball. A few years ago, they tried to form a professional women's' softball league, but it folded, due to lack of support by the public. It's a shame, because these girls are so talented, and in many ways their game takes more skill than professional baseball. And to add insult to injury, women's' softball was discontinued from the Summer Olympics, presumably due to the U.S. Team's domination of the sport. BUT... I understand they're bringing Softball BACK TO THE OLYMPICS!! And I'm sure the U.S. will put a spectacular team together for Tokyo 2020!! Can't wait!
The National Spelling Bee! On ESPN! Yes, spelling is now a televised sport!
And finally, the annual Nathan's annual Fourth of July Hot Dog Eating Contest (although many would not consider competitive eating a sport! 😊) On the 4th of July 2018 once again, Joey Chestnut ruled! He ate 74 HDB (that's hot dog and bun for all you competitive eating neophytes) in ten minutes to beat his previous record of 72 and win the 2018 contest easily---leaving his 17 competitors in a cloud of dust!
I often think about...
Personal Goals such as:
★Traveling and vacationing more, either with that special someone or with one or more platonic friends. I've taken several vacations by myself and and have come to realize that vacationing alone is not for me.
★Relocating to a warmer climate after nearly 30 years in DC. The winter of 2014-15) was particularly harsh and made me give the idea of relocating a lot more thought. The winter of 2015-16 has been unusually warm, but as I write this update (January 23,. 2016) there is about 15 inches of snow on the ground with a good chance of about 10 more inches by the day's end. And as I write THIS update (July 14, 2016), we're expecting temperatures in the mid 90's with a heat index of 104. Where would I want to move? Maybe MIAMI, Florida (SoFi --South of 5th South Beach), KEY WEST, NEW ORLEANS, Louisiana, HILTON HEAD South Carolina, SAN ANTONIO; AUSTIN, Texas, PHOENIX, Arizona, SAN DIEGO; LOS ANGELES /SANTA MONICA, California, or HONOLULU, Hawaii to name a few. I'd like to make some good friends from these cities and through them, get to know what it would be like to live there. I would welcome the opportunity to meet someone who may not be interested in me romantically, but has a similar desire to relocate to a warmer climate. Kind of a platonic partnership with the goal of starting a new, exciting and adventuresome chapter in life, in another part of the country. I think a move like this is much less traumatic, less anxiety inducing, and more fun if there are two of us facing similar challenges -- and there will no doubt be challenges! I'd even consider a move to another country. At this stage in my life, now is not the time to be skittish!
★Enhancing my circle of friends and acquaintances.
★Enriching my life and that of others' through volunteering and more acts of kindness.
★Rollerblading and ice skating. Although I'm much more comfortable and proficient on hockey skates, I have a fascination with "Ice Dancing" and have always fantasized about gliding effortlessly across the ice with a beautiful female skater. In ice dancing and ballroom dancing, "the man is the frame, and the woman is the picture"... meaning that it's the man's job to showcase the beauty and elegance of the woman. I realize that this ice dancing notion will probably will remain just a fantasy, but I do have figure skates and would love to sharpen them up and partner with a woman who also likes ice dancing, even if it is at the most basic level.
★ I also want to swim with dolphins, and as a result of *finally* seeing "Lawrence of Arabia" in it's entirety, I'd like to ride a camel! Also, I can't imagine life being complete without at least once seeing the live Mermaid show at Weeki Wachee Springs, FL😊 ===>
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HZymMONi1XA
★Being more active in striking up conversations with people I encounter. I've found that people in the DC area are generally hesitant or uninterested in chatting with someone they don't know, or someone that they perceive to have no value in the furtherance of their professional or personal goals. As such, I have over the years and for the most part, avoided initiating conversations with people I don't know. I've decided to be more outgoing in this area, recognizing that only a few will respond favorably, and not worrying about the "rejections". I also think about...
★I'm not sure why it's taken me so long to realize this, but relationships involve: A LOT OF WORK (better to realize this late than never!). There are rich rewards, but unless one is willing to (a) admit that there's hard work involved, and (b) actually do the work when it becomes necessary, the relationship is likely to fail. I think one of the main reasons I've remained single for so long is that I had this fantasy notion that successful relationships were all wine and roses, and when things went wrong, I came to the conclusion that it just wasn't working and decided to end it. How twisted is that logic?! The bliss of a new relationship fades pretty quickly, and that's when working at the relationship comes into play. Think of a garden or lawn that has not had any special attention -- no watering, no fertilizer, no nothing. It wouldn't be lush and green, nor would it have beautiful, colorful flowers. Take that same garden or lawn... water it, feed it, weed it, trim it, mow it... and the result is a beautiful sight. ~But it took a lot of work~! If I ever enter another serious relationship, it will be with the clear understanding that the real rewards come with overcoming obstacles and resolving conflict while remaining 100% committed to the relationship. But in keeping with the theme of this profile -- total honesty --after living single for all these years, it will be a hell of an adjustment to live with someone else. Hopefully, patience, love and acceptance will prevail and the gradual adjustment to a new (and exciting!) lifestyle will occur. And I REFUSE to enter a relationship that is without extreme effort or care.
★Have you ever heard of people who are married but live in different cities? That kind of arrangement for some reason intrigues me. The couple has the benefits of marriage but they enjoy freedom and independence when they're not together. And the potential for little squabbles is diminished because they're not constantly together. Obviously, this is not for most people, but given the right couple and the right circumstances it could result in a very diverse and fulfilling lifestyle. Plus it would make the time spent together more special, and they would have the benefit of enjoying two cities on a regular basis. So if you know a couple who has this kind of lifestyle, or if this is something that you think about, I'd love to have a discussion on this subject.
A variation of the "married but live in different cities" could be a partnering with little or no romance or intimacy -- basically roommates, but with a deep caring and commitment to enrich each others' lives. Best friends to give each other emotional support, without the trappings of traditional marriage. Independence and freedom from always having to answer to each other -- i.e. "Where are you going?" "When will you be back?" "Who were you with?" I really don't know how or even if this could work, but my gut feeling tells me that it could indeed work. And although I wouldn't count on this happening, it is entirely possible that the emotional support and caring could actually grow into a love that would be stronger than if it were to have begun in the traditional manner. I would have to give this type of arrangement a lot of thought, but with the right person, it could be a very rewarding and broadening experience.
There is another huge benefit of this arrangement, and I'm wondering why more people don't take advantage of it. It goes something like this: You are comfortable financially like me. You own your home -- a nice home, but nothing extravagant or opulent. Let's say we both own homes worth about $500,000. Being a couple -- either a traditional couple or a non-traditional couple (see previous paragraph) would effectively allow us to live in a home worth $1,000,000. Granted, in today's real estate market a million dollar home to some people would be low end, but to someone who has a history of living in a modest home, that kind of arrangement would allow a couple to live their later years (let's face it, it's coming whether we want it to or not) in a location and style that is a definite step up. I'm thinking Georgetown or Old Town, perhaps with a river view. Maybe this is just fantasy, but I really think it could improve our lives significantly. Again, if you have any thoughts on this, I’d like to hear them. Even if you think this is an insane idea fraught with problems, which it very well could be.
★ This one, well it's kind of scary and depressing. I think many (over age 50) single people struggle with the anxiety of being old -- really old-- and having no one. I try not to think about this one too much, but the fact remains that being old is difficult even with that special someone. Being old and all alone is frightening. This shouldn't be the only reason for wanting a significant other, but as time goes on, it becomes more important and is definitely something to think about.
January, 2019 update: More and more, I've thought about finding a significant other for the sole purpose of having a support partner for the golden years. Romance and intimacy wouldn't be necessary -- just good friends who care about each other provide comfort and companionship. And although I STILL have not made a Will, I would like to have that special someone to inherit my estate, which is by no means extremely large, but is not a pittance either. I make this comment with the full realization that anyone with ill intentions who has seen an Alfred Hitchcock movie or tv show, may try to form a relationship, get me to name them as beneficiary, and proceed to knock me on the head with a frozen leg of lamb (great episode -- "Lamb to the Slaughter", 1958 --find it on YouTube if you haven't seen it!), thus reaping the financial rewards as a "grieving" widow or significant other. :-) Other cinematic ideas for knocking off a "loved one" -- "Double Indemnity" (1944), "The Postman Always Rings Twice" (1946), "Dial M for Murder" (1954), "Vertigo" (1958) and "A Place in the Sun" (1951). :-) But remember, none of the murderers got away with it! :-)
★I don't know if it's just me or if this happens to a lot of people: The older I get, the more thoughts of occurrences from the past just pop into my head -- completely unexpected and seemingly without any type of trigger. And the unsettling aspect of this is that these thoughts of past events involve me in a situation that I mishandled in some way, and make me respond..."what were you thinking??" Often it's something that I did, but shouldn't have done....something I said that I shouldn't have said... or, something I didn't say but should have, or something I didn't do, but should have. Is this our way of reminding us that we have matured and our stupid and reckless ways of the past are now behind us?
These thoughts always focus on things I'd like to take back and have a "do over" or in the golfing vernacular, a "mulligan". And what's interesting is that I never get random thoughts about things I did well or things that I'm proud of. So I'm asking you... does this happen to you? Or if you're familiar with this type of thing, is it something that all of us (or most of us) experience? I'd be very interested in knowing more about this.
★How I've never really embraced hanging out with the guys. Recently, after a vigorous workout on my blades, I stopped at one of Old Town's riverside parks. I found a vacant picnic table, under a tree, with a cool breeze and a lovely view of the Potomac River, the Wilson Bridge, and the new Capitol Wheel across the river at National Harbor. What could be more relaxing and serene? Well, about five minutes after I settled in, here come four men in their 40's, 50's and maybe 60's... all standing around about to do some, I don't know... male bonding? Guy stuff? And then, not one, not two, not three, but all four.... light up these big fat smelly cigars and my blissful, relaxing scene is ruined. Well, I did get about five minutes sheer joy, but it left me thinking... "would I like to be one of those guys... standing around with their guts protruding over their belts of their khaki pants...smoking cigars? I also thought about their poor wives and/or girlfriends who would have to endure the foul, lingering odor of a cigar. I can't even imagine getting the slightest enjoyment from being part of that group. Of course, this is no great revelation-- I've never gotten warm and fuzzy feelings bonding with guys, and this is just one of the many things that reinforce the notion that I'm very different from most guys.
Hanging out with the girls is more exciting and invigorating, providing better quality, more supportive conversation in an "odor free" location! Well, this musing could go on and on, but the point I want to make (and I'm sure you've figured it out by now if you've read this far!) is that I'm not like most guys.
★Even though I generally speak of being attracted to women, a lot of people ask if I'm gay-- a fair and logical question. I've often wondered if I'm really gay and just refuse to admit this to myself. Then I think, hey, if I'm really gay, wouldn't I have *at least once* tried, or experimented with intimate relations with a man? The answer of course is no, I have not -- because it's something that just doesn't interest me. I think my brain is just hard-wired to be attracted to, surrounded by, and infatuated by, feminine beauty. I have, over the years had a number of male admirers who have tried to persuade me to be their girlfriend, but it's very clear to me that women offer so much more mental and physical stimulation.
Now, having said all that, I do find it interesting and exciting to have a girls night out -- with one or more genetic girls-- and have interested guys buy us drinks, hit on us, and to be one of the girls talking about how hot this guy or how wonderful the new guy that they're dating is. Women receiving the attention of men, in my opinion, enhances feminine feelings. I know--I know...this has all the earmarks of a gay mindset, but when it really comes down to being intimate with a man, reality sets in and there is no interest.
★I see guys wearing pink shirts all the time. I also see a lot of pink ties. Apparently, pink shirts and ties are ok for guys, but pink pants? I've got these great American Apparel Riding Pants that are, pink (actually, more of a coral), but wow you wouldn't believe the looks I get. Occasionally, I'll even see looks of disgust while shaking their head as if they're saying no. Often I'll see people just staring at my pants -- in line at the grocery store, at the airport, anywhere. One girl recently, in a kind of mocking tone said, "I like your leggings". And my response was, "why should girls have all the fun?!😊" The more I wear them, the more I'm amused at people's reactions, yet the guy in the pink shirt and pink tie with one or more earrings doesn't even get noticed. By the way, the American Apparel riding pants are the most comfortable pants I have ever worn, and I highly recommend that you give them a try. I have them in black, khaki, grey, safari brown, purple, yellow, navy, and --gasp!-- pink! Just google American Apparel Riding pants. American Apparel discontinued them recently (why I don't know because they were wildly popular!) and I've picked up a few new or lightly used pairs on ebay. AA also makes what they call "Disco Pants"-- super stretchy, and form fitting and so comfortable! Just google "American Apparel Riding Pants" or "American Apparel Disco Pants" and you'll see some wonderful pictures. I think they look great on all women XXS to XL.
Many of my other pants are very skinny, stretchy, and feature fun prints and colors -- very comfortable! I often wonder why "the norm" for guys includes pants that lack any distinctive or interesting characteristics, i.e. boring, dull, and frumpy -- as described in the State Farm Commercial featuring one of the Coneheads (Beldar) explaining to his wife (Prymaat) what khakis are: "khakis : a dull earthly garment covering male extremities". 😊 By the way, who determines what's acceptable fashion and what's not? During Breast Cancer awareness month, it's ok for men to wear pink, especially in the NFL where tough macho guys are wearing pink socks, wristbands, and even shoes. So it's SOMETIMES ok for a man to wear pink. Also, you'll occasionally see some bright and colorful pants on the golf course---there is a company called "Loudmouth Golf" that makes some really cool pants, and they're quite popular---BUT ONLY ON THE GOLF COURSE. On the golf course they're ok, but wear them to the movies or the grocery store and be ready for those puzzled, surprised, and sometimes disgusted looks from others.
In earlier times, if a man wore earrings, he would be ridiculed and presumed gay. At some point though, it became ok for a man to wear earrings and now they don't get a second look. Even Jim Vance, the NBC 4 Newsguy who I really admired and respected, wore an earring when he delivered the news. Sadly, Jim passed away on July 22, 2017.
Another example would be women and tattoos. Not too long ago, if a woman had a tattoo, she was considered to be "trailer trash" or "from the wrong side of the tracks". Then it became not only ok, but extremely fashionable to have a tattoo or multiple tattoos. What brought about the change? I suppose all it takes is a celebrity such as Angelina Jolie (tattoos) and Madonna (wearing lingerie as outer wear). But I guess it's going to take more time before Lady Gaga's dress made from meat??! gains a foothold! :-)
If you follow "baseball cap fashion", you'll know that the "flat bill" has become more popular than the traditional "curved bill". In earlier times, if someone wore a flat bill, they were immediately considered uncool and nerdy. Then, I don't know, someone famous -- I believe a rapper like "50 cent" wore his flat billed cap, and it soon became cool and street-wise to wear it that way. The curved bill became popular in the first place as a more effective way of protecting ones eyes from the glare of the sun, but now it's only used by those who cling to the old school ways. In fact, I was in a baseball cap store in Georgetown recently and I saw nothing but flat bills. I asked the guy working there if they had curved bills and he pulled out a few small boxes, opened them up and showed them to me. They weren't even on display!
And remember polo shirts in the 80's? Someone somewhere decided that he/she would turn the collar up, (maybe to protect the neck from the sun) and a new trend started. That style has faded, but occasionally you see older people wearing their polo shirts with upturned collars (maybe they think it's still in style!), and even some younger ones who are going for that retro-look.
Pantyhose vs. bare legs? Same thing -- you used to never see bare legs, now that's pretty much all you see, especially on the west coast. Well, the list goes on and on, but my point is that I have no desire to follow any kind of "acceptable" fashion guidelines, although I think it's interesting how some things become "appropriate" and others remain "inappropriate".
★One of the things that I've noticed over my years of "people watching", is that most girls do not know how to walk in heels. I think it's so beautiful to see a poised and confident woman, gracefully and sensuously walking in a sexy and elegant pair of heels. Unfortunately, this sight is so uncommon that when I do see it, I'm totally mesmerized. I know a former professional ballet dancer who, when walking in heels, is so confident and so graceful, that she never fails to turn heads. If there ever was a fitting real life example of "poetry in motion", this girl when walking in heels, regardless of the height -- 2" or 5" -- would be it. There are of course, varying degrees of walking in heels the wrong way. Some make me think that only a few small adjustments are necessary, while others are embarrassingly awkward and need a lot of help. I often wonder if women as a general rule, do the homework necessary to learn what it takes to walk in heels, and practice those techniques to perfect their walk. My guess is that most do not.
In reality though, I am by no means one of those perfect walkers, and I could benefit from some practice myself. When I do see one of those rare, elegant walkers, I make mental notes and try to incorporate their techniques into my walk. It's amazing what just a little work in this area does for poise, confidence, and allure. Maybe you'd like to get together (as platonic friends if you're not interested in a serious relationship) for some high heel practice sessions!
The designer John Galliano once said, "Style is wearing an evening dress to McDonald's, wearing heels to play football. It is personality, confidence and seduction." And a quote from Sophia Loren😍: "Nothing makes a woman more beautiful than the belief that she is beautiful." I believe there's a lot to these statements. This is why so many girls who may not have those drop dead gorgeous looks come across as sexy and desirable--they have CONFIDENCE, POISE and STYLE!
So come on girls-- (head held high, shoulders back!) go online and watch some YouTube videos about the proper way to walk in heels, develop some subtle but mesmerizing body language, and most of all, be aware of your walk, know the effect it has on people, and work at it to continuously improve! The increased confidence and poise will benefit your love life, your health and flexibility, and your professional life.
★I've visited many "erotic websites" featuring beautiful and sexy women (any man who says he hasn't done this is lying!). One thing I've noticed, is that many of the models pose for the pictures using a facial expression that is supposed to be sexy. The best way to describe this is that they look like they are either in pain, bored, angry, or uncomfortable. You know that look--head held back, mouth slightly open, eyes halfway closed. I don't know whether the photographer tells them to look sexy and this is the expression they use-- or the photographer describes the exact look he/she wants. Or some of the models might have this blank, mannequin like stare. To me, these expressions are not nearly as sexy as a woman posing for a picture with a nice, natural smile. These smiling girls are sending the message to the viewer that they are confident, warm, and fun.
Confidence, warmth, and fun are VERY sexy! And if they are not smiling, they are looking into the camera again, exuding confidence and self assuredness and basically saying "I know I'm beautiful, sexy and intelligent, and I love being a woman". And even though I love to watch fashion shows (Remember CNN's "Style" with Elsa Klensch? My Saturday morning wasn't complete without watching it!), the models usually had this bored, blank look on their face as they walked the runway. I would be thrilled if these fashion shows all featured models who smiled and looked like they were having fun! But maybe there is a reason for the fashion models to have that bored look. Perhaps the designer is saying, "I don't want people to look at the models face, I want them to look at the clothes!" That may be true, but a smiling, fun loving and playful model makes an outfit much more beautiful and sends the message, "wear this ensemble and you'll be fun and beautiful too!"
But back to the erotic website models-- I don't know, maybe they've done some type of study and the results show that most men find that painful, angry, or bored look to be sexy. And if that's the case, my preferences are just further proof that I'm not like most men!
★ Speaking of posing for a photograph, and at the risk of offending many people, I have to say that taking a picture of oneself (a selfie), while standing in front of a mirror awkwardly holding a cell phone is not very natural or attractive. I know, lots of people do it, but to me, this sends a message of, "I have no friends to take a picture of me, or I have no activities to engage in while being photographed, so I'll just stand in my bathroom and take a picture of myself." Part of what makes a good picture is the feeling that the subject is enjoying himself/herself. How fun can standing there by oneself be? And again, I'm probably offending many, but the ultimate mistake is using one of these pictures for a *profile picture!*
Surely there are events and activities at which to be photographed, and surely there are friends, relatives, co-workers, or even strangers who will gladly take your picture if you ask (and stop calling me Shirley!) :-).....June 4, 2017 update: Wow, I've gotten a lot of messages expressing strong disagreement with my views on this subject. But I'm holding firm on my position that selfies are less attractive and less fun than traditional posed photos.
★Most people have at least one or two hobbies. The obvious benefits are stress reduction and numerous other health benefits. Hobbies give us a fun diversion from everyday life and the sense of satisfaction from engaging in something one loves to do. Some like to go fishing, tend to the garden, collect stamps--mine just happens to be cross dressing and gender bending. One of my cross dresser friends put it this way: "Some men play golf. I play girl!"
My life choices give me the opportunity to step outside the everyday persona and become someone different, even if just for one night. I think that's why so many adults love Halloween (I'm one of them!).
I know one guy who is extremely passionate about participating in Civil War reenactments. He goes to several reenactments every year, wears authentic uniforms (thick wool -- very hot in the sweltering heat of the summer), carries authentic weaponry, and even eats the food that civil war soldiers ate --hardtack and corn pone. He absolutely loves it. Why? I suppose it's due to reasons similar to mine -- to create a diversion from everyday life and engage in one's passion.
But in my opinion, there is something a little unsettling about glorifying such a tragic event -- one in which over 600,000 people perished. Successful lawyers, accountants, auto mechanics, etc. -- pretending and fantasizing that they are going through the same physical and emotional trauma as the original soldiers. To me, it's not much different than "re-enacting" the 9/11 tragedies. I'm reasonably certain that if this were to be done, it would immediately be considered to be "poor taste". But I'm sure that the passage of time somehow softens the emotional impact, and using this logic, in about 100 years there may be people who have a passion for being a part of "9/11 re-enactments".
But...to each his or her own, so Civil War actors -- if this is your passion, go out and enjoy yourselves! And some people love to go to Star Wars or super hero conventions dressed to the nines as their favorite character. Why is this kind of activity generally considered harmless, creative fun, while my gender bending artistic endeavors are often met with scorn and ridicule, and often prompt speculation about mental and emotional stability? I recently received a message from a lovely girl from the Philippines, and I was stunned at the simple and logical outlook she had regarding my lifestyle.
Here's how she put it: ¸.•°*”˜˜”*°•✫ ..✫¸.•°*”˜˜”*°•.✫.....I never experience liking a man looking like a woman. But your an exception to that. I never saw you different or complicated. Just like any other. I saw you just like an amazing person who dedicates himself with his passion. Never saw you as a girl but a man who enjoys his passion and bravely does what his heart want him to do.if i love singing or cooking, you love cross dressing so whats wrong with that my sweet? Nothing right. :* do not except yourself with everyone. You belong with us and you deserve to be treated normal just like what every man deserves. But lemme tell you a secret okay? Even though i saw you as normal man. My heart beats specially telling me. Your really special. ❤ so because of that. Be ready to be treated special too. ¸.•°*”˜˜”*°•✫ ..✫¸.•°*”˜˜”*°•.✫
Another heartfelt message (which I have read over and over again for inspiration and confidence!) is: ¸.•°*”˜˜”*°•✫ ..✫¸.•°*”˜˜”*°•.✫"Reading your profile was such a rich experience that I wanted to compliment you and reinforce that you re a very special and unique person, one with so much depth, insight, awareness, honesty, thoughtfulness, compassion and wisdom. Your articulate blog drew me in completely, and I felt blessed to be fortunate enough to have you share your inner self, inner spirit, inner soul with me. I felt a warmth and tenderness that truly touched me. You are truly amazing, inside and out, and deserve to find your happiness, fulfillment and joy throughout your lifetime."¸.•°*”˜˜”*°•✫ ..✫¸.•°*”˜˜”*°•.✫
And my absolute favorite response to my profile comes from a beautiful woman (inner and outer beauty!) in Romania and she writes:
¸.•°*”˜˜”*°•✫ ..✫¸.•°*”˜˜”*°•.✫¸.•°*”˜˜”*°•✫ ¸.•°*”˜˜”*°•✫ •°*”˜˜”*°•✫ ¸.•°*”˜˜”*°•✫
It took me almost two hours to read your entire profile. I had to look for the explanation of some words or expressions, being an excellent exercise in improving my English and at the same time a fascinating immersion in understanding a person as complex as you are. It is the most powerful, captivating, complex and honest profile I have ever read. I never thought I could. read something like this on OKC. I am still amazed by your clear, logical, profound and so colorful style of expression You are a very special person, so different from what I'm used to know but so human and profound in a way that few people can be.
¸.•°*”˜˜”*°•✫ ..✫¸.•°*”˜˜”*°•.✫¸.•°*”˜˜”*°•✫ ¸.•°*”˜˜”*°•✫ •°*”˜˜”*°•✫ ¸.•°*”˜˜”*°•✫
★ A lot of people ask me how and when I developed an interest in cross dressing and gender bending. I'm not exactly sure, maybe it's an innate characteristic, or maybe a particular incident or experience created a spark and my creative imagination just ran with it. I do recall at about age five becoming mesmerized with these beautiful cocktail glasses emblazoned with the stunning women painted by the artist Alberto Vargas. Vargas' style by the way, has been copied by many, but no one really comes close. If you're curious about his work, simply google "Alberto Vargas" and you'll see some of the images that I believe created the spark that lit the fire, giving me this lifelong fascination.
Countless television viewing experiences added fuel to the fire, so to speak. Remember Ginger from "Gilligan's Island"? I was captivated by her beauty and elegance -- evening gowns and high heels while stranded on a deserted island walking through the sand! 😊 And a series of old commercials for "Muriel Cigars" starring Edie Adams (who incidentally bore a resemblance to Ginger (or was it Ginger who resembled Edie? 😊) View these fun and sexy commercials on YouTube, if you like. There was a lot of sexual innuendo and double entendre in these commercials, but it all went over the head of a young and mesmerized viewer.
I could list dozens more, but the gist of all this is that strong visual stimulation, a passion for feminine beauty and elegance, combined with an active and creative imagination, set the stage for a life-long appreciation and admiration of feminine beauty.
★Another question I get fairly often is, "Do you ever think about transitioning to being female 24/7, ala Bruce/Caitlyn Jenner and thousands of others? I've often wondered about it, but so far I've had no desire or motivation to go down that road. Some transgendered people have a burning desire to present as who they are inside-- 24/7. For them, there is just no other way to survive.
Other transgendered people (like me), find pleasure in both their masculine and feminine sides and as such have neither the need nor the desire to make the transition to 24/7. In fact, I believe that being "gender fluid" makes me appreciate both my male and femme sides even more. April 30, 2018 update: I just finished Caitlyn Jenner's book, "The Secrets of My Life". I wanted to read it to compare my lifelong thoughts of being transgendered to those of CJ. Although I never won an Olympic Gold Medal, many, many aspects of our lives and inner thoughts are eerily similar. I highly recommend this book (which is an easy and entertaining read) for anyone who has an interest in knowing about the myriad of difficult challenges and coping solutions that transgendered people typically face.
I also read "Becoming Nicole" -- a New York Times best seller about a family with identical twin boys -- one of whom is transgendered, and the other being a "normal" boy. One of the key concepts of this story is how the brain becomes "masculinized" or "feminized" ~~while still in the womb~~. Sexual anatomy is determined approximately six weeks into the pregnancy, however the brain does not "masculinize" or "feminize" until six ~~months~~ ... and can be very different even in the case of identical twins. This is another great story of courage and perseverance -- not only for Nicole, but for her entire family.
And I recently came across a brief, but very interesting and informative essay titled, "The Psychology of Cross-Dressing". A couple of high impact quotes from this article:
**...”But in truth, cross-dressing is grounded in a highly logical and universal desire: the wish to be, for a time, the gender one admires, is excited by – and perhaps loves. Dressing like a woman is merely a dramatic, yet essentially reasonable, way of getting closer to the experiences of the sex one is profoundly curious about – and yet has been (somewhat arbitrarily) barred from... “
and
**”It may be bewildering to have to accept that one is at heart, in the semi-conscious mind, always going to be something far more diverse, multi-faceted but also perhaps interesting than a mere ‘man’ or a ‘woman’** If you'd like to read the entire essay, it can be found at:
https://www.theschooloflife.com/thebookoflife/the-psychology-of-cross-dressing/
As I mentioned early in the blog, for me, this has always been a fun, creative, and artistic expression of feminine beauty which I enjoy very much. But do I feel like a "woman trapped in a man's body"? I guess the answer is sometimes yes, and sometimes no. Which supports my theory that some transgendered people find pleasure and comfort by embracing certain aspects of both genders.
Only lately have I taken the time to look into the pros and cons of hormone treatments which most consider to be one of the first steps of transitioning from one gender to the other on a full time basis. One notion that surfaces over and over again -- when it comes to genetic males taking female hormones -- is that they feel more relaxed and have more inner peace. It has also been reported that this more relaxed feeling allows them to connect with people on a deeper, more meaningful level. Now I'm not going to rush out and start taking female hormones, but experiencing those feelings that are generally attributed to females is something that intrigues me.
One other thing that I have heard trans women describe as a result of hormone treatments is that their senses are heightened. Colors are brighter and scents are stronger. It is almost as if one's senses are somehow altered or enhanced. Again, very intriguing. Buuuuut... a HUGE DRAWBACK of hormone treatments is often (usually) a diminished sexual response ("E.D. to be specific) and THAT -- is something that will most likely keep me from venturing into those waters!
I have a lot of respect for the transgender people who "go all the way" because it is undeniably a difficult road to travel. Only a few transsexuals who were born male have features and outward physical characteristics that allow them to blend in with other genetic women without being scrutinized. And that's why I have so much respect for people like Caitlyn Jenner because, no matter how much surgery or how many hormones she takes, she will still have many physical characteristics typically associated with non-genetic women. That takes A LOT OF COURAGE and presents so many challenges in life.
★ It is entirely possible that the the “normal” khaki wearing, briefcase toting guy you see every day has a secret desire to cross dress or feel feminine, but doesn't dare tell anyone about it. It's much more common than you might think. I feel bad for the guys who are 100% in the closet because their femme side is locked up and hidden away, and they struggle to keep their secret, terrified that their wives or girlfriends will discover that they have these feelings.
Often, they try to overcompensate by being excessively macho and manly. I know one cross dresser whose wife knows, but totally disapproves. He told me that at one point, he secretly rented space in a storage facility so he could have some "girl time". A damp and dimly lit storage facility?? How lonely and depressing is that!? While it is true that when going out en femme, the venue has to be considered, (some places, unfortunately are not "TG friendly") but at least I'm not locked up in a storage facility trying on dresses and heels! I hope the storage facility guy eventually gains a little more freedom.
I decided long ago that if I was going to be married or have a serious relationship, it would be with a woman who not only knew about my femme side, but enjoyed and appreciated it also.
★You'll no doubt agree that this blog seems to be a bottomless pit. There's a reason for such extensive expression. I want people to know as much about me, without concealing anything. Think about all those people who write a few paragraphs (or in some cases, just a few words!) in a dating profile about who they are and what they want in a significant other. Are they really letting you look into their deepest, most private thoughts? Or are they just giving you the information they think you might want to hear?
I have a friend who met a guy, and married him about a year later. Shortly after they married, he expressed a desire for her to look and act like a little girl as a sexual stimulant for him. I have no problem with role play as an enhancement to sexual matters. Actually, I think it's quite healthy and creative. For this guy however, the "little girl fantasy" was the be all and end all and my friend quickly realized that something didn't sit right with her. Now, without knowing the intricate details of the marriage, I can't say for sure how the marriage ended, but it did. And after talking with my friend, I learned that his fixation was a primary factor. Why do I relate this story in my profile?
Well, this guy and the unfortunate girl could have saved a lot of heartache had he been up front with her before they were married. If he had told her all about this part of him that seemed to fixate on his adult wife looking and acting like an 8 year old for his sexual pleasure-- she could have made an informed decision about whether she could or couldn't live with his fetish. She most likely wouldn't have married him and she could have been free to pursue they type of relationship she wanted, and he could have been free to look for a woman who didn't have a problem with his desires.
To my knowledge, he wasn't into child pornography -- he just wanted his wife to "act the part". And that brings me back to my situation. I'm fully aware that most women would not be interested in pursuing a relationship with me. But I'm up front about myself and I would never want to string someone along, and then suddenly reveal a very different side of myself. Doing so would be extremely selfish and detrimental to the relationship, to say the least. What you have from me -- from the start -- is complete openness with nothing concealed. I wonder how many dating site profiles go to such great lengths.
★ I often wonder why, when a little girl shows an interest in things like toy trucks, or football, the parents rarely discourage her from being interested in these things. In fact, they often encourage her to experience things that are traditionally feminine AND traditionally masculine. When young boys express interest in traditionally feminine things -- Barbie Dolls, princess dresses, etc., -- there is usually A LOT OF CONCERN and disappointment that he's not a "normal boy".
Is it that we all have a subconscious notion that masculine is "strong, good, and positive" and feminine is weak? Not that long ago -- sadly -- many white people really did think (some consciously, some subconsciously ) that black people were born with an inferior intellect. At one time, there were no black quarterbacks in the NFL and even though it was rarely discussed, everyone knew that the reason was the notion that black players were not smart enough to be a quarterback. Fortunately we have evolved and that kind of thinking is, for the most part, extinct.
I wonder if that feminine/masculine thinking for our children will continue through the ages, or will it evolve into a broader, more logical and humane way of thinking. If you'd like to see an amazing video of how a father responds -- in a very positive way-- to his son's apparent feminine interests, check out:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qWlsMulh3MY
★ I recently came across a YouTube channel called "Fabricio Castro Fotografia". I suppose I could write pages about this, but I'll keep it brief and if you're interested you can check out his channel. He has a team of photographers, makeup artists, and hairstylists that do an amazing job of transforming teenage boys into beautiful young women. What's really amazing is that the parents of these boys are ~~very supportive and encouraging~~. And they pay Mr. Castro a lot of money for his services.
Very often, the transformation is done for a big party -- very popular among the Hispanic community is the "Quinceañera" party -- the 15th Birthday. After their transformations, they become very feminine and beautiful girls in their formal gowns. They are also coached on feminine walking, mannerisms, etc. But the true beauty of all of this is the look of total joy, happiness, and contentment as they become "girls for a day". I can tell that, in the majority of cases, it's not just a curiosity on the part of these boys. They wouldn't go to all the trouble and expense if it was just a curiosity or a whim. And the parents most likely wouldn't support them unless they felt it was extremely important to their sons. They feel female on the inside and the look of content and inner peace that you see when they are transformed is very heartwarming.
I also can't help but to think that after their "girl for a day" they become a little depressed and disappointed that they have to return to being boys. But I also feel that the parents are fully aware that their child is transgendered, and this is very likely just the first step in ultimately transitioning to a full time female.
This is a perfect example of how societal views have changed regarding transgendered persons. When I was young, I ★wouldn't have dreamed★ of asking my parents to allow me to do this. And if I had asked them, it would have been met with scheduling appointments with a psychiatrist. Coming out as transgender during this time period would have resulted in so many negative outcomes, and unfortunately many transgendered children (who didn't even know what being transgendered was) became emotionally scarred and even suicide victims. I have so much respect and admiration for these modern day brave children and their progressive thinking parents.
★Finally, MMO, which is an acronym for "Male Multiple Orgasm". Although it may sound like an oxymoron, it is entirely possible for a male to develop this amazing ability which most people understand to be the sole province of women. It's not an easy thing to accomplish because most men are wired to achieve orgasm in the traditional manner. But armed with an open mind, patience and relaxation, many men can "re-wire" themselves and discover a whole new world of pleasure. There is a lot written on MMO, so if you're interested in knowing more, simply do an internet search on "male multiple orgasms" and you'll learn about some very interesting concepts.
★ I have not had sexual relations with a partner for a long time. This however, has in no way limited my sexual pleasure or diminished my sexual desire, as I have discovered and refined some amazing um, "solo techniques"😊 that have resulted in some earth shattering experiences. I've also done a lot of research regarding diet, exercise, and vitamin/herbal supplements to maximize sexual response. The results are astounding! But the most powerful and the most important sex organ? Without a doubt --the brain.
One very apparent result of my staying out of relationships for so long, is that I have been able to reflect on past relationships and recognize the things that I did (or didn't do) which acted to sabotage the development and progression of the relationship. Just about every sport at a professional level involves watching films of past performance. A tennis player might see a glaring flaw in his/her form which can then be corrected. A baseball hitter might take note that he is dropping his shoulder too much when swinging the bat and take steps to correct it.
Well, I don't have actual films, but for me the footage is in my head. And I have a lot of footage! If there is another serious relationship for me, I will (like the professional athlete) learn from the mistakes and take steps to make me a ~~much~~ better partner! I promised myself long ago, that I would not pursue or take part in meaningless or shallow sexual encounters. That is, sex without a ~~deep~~ emotional commitment. And I'm proud to say that I have kept that promise. I don't miss casual sex at all. In fact, I have a lot of regrets about being interested in certain women with only one goal (sex) in mind.
I wish I could talk to each one of them and apologize for my selfish and shallow behavior, and for wasting their time letting them think that there was potential for a more serious relationship when my intentions were entirely short-term, self centered, and shallow. On the other hand, perhaps many of these women were using me in the same way I was using them. In any event, it is now clear to me that these encounters were a waste of time and an impediment to the development of healthy emotional maturity.
One issue that came up several times in past relationships was my admiration of pretty women while out and about with the girl I was dating. It wasn't like, "...oooh, look at her, she's FINE!!" It was more like me just sneaking a glance and appreciating her beauty, style, elegance and fashion choices. But you know? --most women have this built in "radar" that immediately notifies them that their man is looking at and taking in the beauty of another woman. There was a funny commercial -- I can't even remember the product--I think it was Corona beer-- that shows a couple on the beach. A stunningly beautiful bikini-clad woman walks by and the guy just gawks at her, mouth agape. His wife/girlfriend, without even looking up from the book she's reading -- places her hand on the guy's chin and pushes it up to close his mouth. A perfect example of the "radar" I just described.
One girl I was dating always knew that I was stealing glances and she never failed to tell me, "I know you're looking at her" or something like that. And rather than apologize to her, I would defend my position and say, "yes, I was looking at her--that doesn't mean I want to date her. It's just human nature to look at and appreciate beauty." She didn't buy that excuse, and I think it was one of the main reasons that our relationship didn't last. Looking back on it, I now see how it made her feel and I'd like to apologize to her for the distress I caused her.
On the other hand, I'm really not sure if I'll ever be able to resist admiring all the feminine beauty that the world has to offer. So if I ever enter another serious relationship, I'll have to tell her these things and make sure she doesn't have a problem with it. I think that maybe, just maybe-- women who have a problem with their men looking at (not lusting) other women are somewhat insecure. A woman with confidence will view this behavior as a natural and harmless activity. And by the same token, I'd never call her out for looking at other men (or women) because I understand that this is just part of being human. Why walk around with horse blinders on simply because a significant other is by one's side? I'd be interested in knowing if you agree or disagree with this.
This is a 30 year old secret that I have never revealed to anyone--until now: I saw "Dirty Dancing" -- paid to see it in the theater--not once but twice in one week! It's one of those things that should be filed in the "what was I thinking??" folder. I just remember how cute Jennifer Grey looked (before she got her nose "fixed"), and I remember how I liked the music, regardless of the fact that the movie was kind of schmaltzy. I don't think I've seen ANY movie twice in the theater. I've seen many movies multiple times, but none were seen more than once in the theater. I've probably seen "Jaws" 20 times, "Rocky Horror" at least 10 times, and "Blazing Saddles" about 10 times, "The Shawshank Redemption" about 10 times, "Dances With Wolves" about 10 times, "Double Indemnity" about 10 times, and the recently released "Frozen" about ten times! I still don't think I'll tell anyone (other than in this blog) the "Dirty Dancing" secret ...very embarrassing! 😊
This really isn't a private thing, but I'm kind of embarrassed to admit that I don't do text messaging or Facebook. I do have a smart phone-- A Samsung that's about six years old (ANCIENT in cell phone years!). But I don't use it as a cell phone. For me, it's a music player, video player, camera, video camera, address book, and occasional internet surfer -- everything except a phone! My phone is an even more ancient Motorola "flip phone" that can't even send or receive text messages -- it's only a phone. I got it on ebay for $15.00. I've lost it a few times and its has always made its way back to me, mainly, I suppose, because no one would want this phone and I guess the finders have all felt sorry for the "low-tech user" who owned it! 😊 If I lost a smart phone, I'd probably never see it again.
I’d love to have you contact me if perhaps:
You think you're that special person I'm looking for...
OR, if you just want to be friends....perhaps you have ZERO interest in my lifestyle that no doubt traverses a different path... but maybe you'd like a friend to cultivate some of your interests that coincide with some of mine ---rollerblading, ice skating, theater, travel, etc.
...you’re a TG girl like myself who would like a friend to hang out with, have dinner, go to a show, or go out dancing...Halloween is approaching -- are you interested?
...you'd like a friend for an impromptu visit to the nail salon for a pedicure followed by a fun outdoor (weather permitting) lunch!
...you're a beautiful lady with a lot of style and confidence and you love to get dressed to the nines for a night out at a restaurant of your choice. Just us two girls, oblivious to the gawkers and admirers that we know are checking us out. One night...no strings attached...we go our separate ways after I pay the tab (that's right, it's on me), and all we have is the memory of a lovely evening. It may appear to be a shallow experience, but who says everything in life needs to be deep and significant?
...you may not want to be tied down and you may not be interested in anything intimate or long term-- that's ok --just one unique experience for an evening. And if it leads to more nights out, all the better!
.....you are a fun and adventuresome couple. Many of my friends are couples, so if the two of you think you'd enjoy my company, I'd love to hear from you. I once was close to a couple who came to my home for dinner with me (dressed in my French Maid's Uniform) serving as their waitress. Afterwards, we went out for drinks and dancing.
...you're a straight woman who might be fascinated by the idea of having a lesbian relationship, but also enjoys the company of a man. In other words, ..."the best of both worlds!"
...you're attracted to my positive energy and creativity, but you want no part of my femme presentations. Ok, fair enough. Any time we spend together will be with me in male mode, recognizing of course that I cannot and will not suppress my femme side and I will continue to enjoy this part of me with friends who enjoy and embrace my femme side
...you're a lesbian or bi-sexual woman who would like a TG friend.
...you're an "aging baby boomer" (I cringe when I hear that term and you may cringe also -- if that's the case, my apologies!) who has previously been highly independent, but realizes that growing old (another cringe) will be more palatable with a partner who can provide emotional support and companionship. I seem to be in a state of denial about this issue, mainly because I think and feel like I'm light years away from "being old" but as sure as the sun will rise tomorrow, it (old age) will eventually be banging loudly on our doors.
...you are bride planning her wedding and (omg!) one of your best friends has backed out of her commitment to be one of your bridesmaids. Your problems are over because you've found me: I can step in and take her place as one of your beautiful bridesmaids!😊. I also love bachelorette parties and would be honored to be one of your girls!
...and speaking of weddings, maybe you're going to a wedding, family event, class reunion, or other social engagement and would like to make a BIG SPLASH by bringing a fun, fabulous TG girl as your date or platonic friend.
...you admit that you need some practice walking in heels and want a non-judgemental practice partner. Or maybe you want to go shoe shopping together!
...you are a man who is an admirer of transgender girls. I always enjoy making new friends and it is always nice to be appreciated and respected by a gentleman. I know one guy who is not gay, but he is fascinated by the way I can transform myself into pretty and femme looks.
...you're a man who enjoys ballroom dancing and would like to either take lessons or just get out and dance with a transgendered partner. It's an interesting and intriguing idea...
But guys, listen up: Sending me a note saying only "Hi" or "ur sexy" or in one case, apparently it was too much work to write "Hi", he simply wrote "H" -- won't get a response from me.
And... if my quest for romance somehow fails to materialize, I would be interested in taking an alternative route briefly described as:
...If you are an elegant, stylish, chic, successful and confident woman and dominant (straight, lesbian, or bi) who has absolutely no interest in a romantic relationship (but are intrigued by my lifestyle, fashion choices and musings) and would like me in your life to help you with your busy professional and personal activities. I suppose what I'm describing is a personal assistant (or if you prefer to use the term "maid" please do so--there are some very cute maid's uniforms available that I would be happy to wear for you on those special occasions.😊. I am very attentive, and will give strong consideration to dedicating myself 100% to your happiness and pleasure, asking for nothing in return other than knowing and being in the presence of an elegant, successful, feminine, sophisticated, chic and intelligent lady. To me, giving happiness and pleasure is just as rewarding, if not more rewarding than getting. I am willing to relocate! I WILL make your life a lot more interesting!
✨THERE!! --- You made it though my labyrinth of a blog. CONGRATULATIONS!✨ --- you're one of the few!! 😍 ❤
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MERCE CUNNINGHAM CENTENNIAL CELEBRATION
The Merce Cunningham centennial celebration reached a peak during this week of his birthday, April 16th, with two of the major events of the celebration – “Night of 100 Solos,” happening live at London’s Barbican Theatre, New York’s BAM Opera House, and UCLA’s Royce Hall; In addition, a program of Cunningham dances done by three different companies at the Joyce Theater, April 17-21 – a feast of Cunningham dancing, done entirely by dancers who never danced in his company.
NIGHT OF 100 SOLOS. (l-r): Reid Bartelme, David Norsworthy, Sara Mearns
On Tuesday night the Howard Gilman Opera House at BAM came alive with a 90-minute “event” comprising solos extracted from Cunningham’s six-decade-long dance repertory. Twenty-five dancers ranging in age from a college student to nearly seventy-years old, present and former members of companies like Martha Graham, Mark Morris, Trisha Brown, Bill T Jones/Arnie Zane Dance Companies, Kyle Abraham’s A.I.M., New York City Ballet, and Charlotte Ballet, among others, took part. Each dancer was taught a number of solos – four it seems – by nearly two-dozen former Cunningham dancers, many of whom are now official stagers of his work.
NIGHT OF 100 SOLOS. Kyle Abraham
What emerged from this panoply of movement was recognition of the astonishing inventiveness of Cunningham’s movement and the clarity of performance it mandates. The dancers, one and all, evinced their respect and admiration for the work and its creator with near flawless embrace of his uniquely exposed style, technical execution, and kinetic spirit. Here in New York, the passages were arranged in space and time by Trish Lent, director of licensing for the Cunningham Trust, and assistant stager Jean Freebury, with simultaneous and overlapping soloists, weaving their individual pathways around each other on the large BAM stage. Sometimes spatial proximity suggested contact between them – a hand on a shoulder, a mutual focus, a conjunction of leaps or turns or balances that became accidental duets, trios, and quartets.
NIGHT OF 100 SOLOS. (l-r): Lindsey Jones, Christian Allen
Another refreshing aspect of the presentation was the diversity of bodies, training backgrounds, and, especially, races of the dancers onstage, many of whom are audience favorites in their home companies. It has been a concern that Cunningham had only four African-American men and no women in the six-decade history of his company. In my opinion (as the first of those four men) it was because Merce loved jumping for himself and his men, and his vision of the ideal female dancer was Carolyn Brown, whose perfect lines and articulation were ballet-worthy. Certainly, had he lived further into his nineties African-American women would have been invited into the troupe.
NIGHT OF 100 SOLOS. (l-r): Jaquelin Harris, Claude “CJ” Johnson.
Tuesday night, Shayla-Vie Jenkins, Tamisha Guy, Jaquelin Harris, sterling dancers and women of color proved their mastery of the style, and Kyle Abraham, Claude “CJ” Johnson, Christian Allen, and Chalvar Monteiro, evinced all the balance, articulation, and power of any of Cunningham’s alumni. Vicky Shick, one of Trisha Brown’s original company, and Keith Sabado, long-time Mark Morris dancer – both in their sixties – extended the age range we’ve come to associate with Merce’s dancers, except for himself.
NIGHT OF 100 SOLOS. The company in John Cage’s 4′33″
There was a full-company teaser ending, in which the dancers filled the stage for Cage’s “4’33”,” a silent work for piano in three movements. Light changes indicated the ends of sections, when the dancers shifted poses. There was humor – Jason Collins jumping with tin cans strapped to his loins and Sabado’s circling the stage on a bicycle, which Merce did in “Variations V.” For Cunningham aficionados it was fun to try to recall the sources of the excerpts and remember the dancers who had done them originally and succeeded them in various generations.
NIGHT OF 100 SOLOS. (l-r): Cecily Campbell, Jason Collins
The décor was a digital art work created by Pat Steir, which kept the cyclorama morphing slowly in white and gray images that looked like ghostly stone columns or precipitation – rain, snow, sleet – or cascading waterfalls. Lighting designer Christine Shallenberg provided an appropriately celebratory atmosphere. Reid Bartelme, who also performed, and his costume design partner dressed the dancers in wonderful pastels and richly-hued leotards, unitards, bike-tards, and jumpsuits with various necklines and sleeve lengths. Bartelme and Sarah Mearns, both in pale lavender, shared the stage at one point, doing solos at the same time.
NIGHT OF 100 SOLOS. Keith Sabado
A thunderous standing ovation greeted the dancers at the end, from an audience who felt reassured that Cunningham’s works are in good hands. Although the technical skill and precision Cunningham’s work required were ahead of their time in the last century, they are by now within the grasp of most present-day elite dancers, hence the Cunningham legacy of dance excellence seems assured for generations to come.
photos by Stephanie Berger
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The following evening, April 17, the centennial celebration continues with a program at the Joyce of three Cunningham dances done by three companies – Centre National de Danse Contemporaine in Angers, directed by Cunningham’s associate director Robert Swinston; Ballet West from Salt Lake City, directed by Joffrey Ballet alumnus Adam Sklute; and Washington Ballet from D.C., directed by long-time ABT principal Julie Kent – doing, respectively “Suite for Five” (1956), “Summerspace” (1958), and “Duets” (1980).
CENTRE DE DANSE CONTEMPORAINE ANGERS.(l-r): Claire Seigle-Goujon, Anna Chirescu, and Carlo Schiavo in SUITE FOR FIVE. photo by Arnaud Hie
“Suite for Five” doles itself out sparingly to a minimal piano score by John Cage, “Music for Piano,” played live by Adam Tendler. It starts with a solo, danced by Carlo Schiavo in blue tights and matching polo-neck shirt has unmistakable Cunningham signature moves like backwards walks in parallel, big jumps with open, bent legs, and low-slung crouches. Next, Catarina Pernão in bright yellow epitomizes Cunningham’s ideal female, linear and erect with balletic articulation of legs and feet, and calm balances on a foot while the other leg sweeps in long extensions that arc slowly around the body.
CENTRE DE DANSE CONTEMPORAINE ANGERS.(l-r): Gianni Joseph, Carlo Schiavo, Claire Siegle-Goujin, Catarina Pernão, and Anna Chirescu in SUITE FOR FIVE. photo Arnaud Hie
Then follows a trio by the other two women, Anna Chirescu, and Claire Seigle-Goujon, in orange and purple and Gianni Joseph in lime green. Brief blackouts separate the sections, so each is a kinetic haiku. The dance contains Cunningham signatures – long, slow balances, bursts of leaping that switch direction midair, deep lunges, male-female duets, straight from the ballet lexicon but designed with unusual shapes and leverages. This was the company’s premiere performance of the dance, and because Cunningham movement is so exposed with nowhere to hide, the dancers’ nervousness showed.
CENTRE DE DANSE CONTEMPORAINE ANGERS. (l-r): Gianni Joseph, Claire Seigle-Goujon, and Anna Chirescu in SUITE FOR FIVE. photo by Arnaud Hie
BALLET WEST. Joshua Whitehead in SUMMERSPACE. photo by Beau Pearson
“Summerspace” (1958) lends itself to performance by ballet dancers. In it, Cunningham was exploring ways of conquering various kinds of turning modern dancers weren’t used to. In 1966, it may have been the first of his dances set on the New York City Ballet. Salt Lake City’s Ballet West definitely has the technical skill to pull it off, and it’s nice to see dancers of color in some of the roles. Katlyn Addison does fine with the brutally difficult crossing, originally done by Viola Farber, in which she slides one foot forward while bending the other until she is balanced sitting on the heel of the supporting leg with the leading leg stretched ahead of her, while unfolding her arms to the sides.
BALLET WEST. Gabrielle Salvatto in SUMMERSPACE. photo by Beau Pearson
Kyle Davis another African-American dancer hangs suspended in midair in his high-flying leaps. And Joshua Shutkind has piercing focus and dynamic sharpness in the role Cunningham created for himself. The stager, Banu Ogan, managed to communicate the evanescence of the piece, which is accompanied by Morton Feldman’s sparse “IXION” and dressed in white unitards, stippled with pastel dots by Robert Rauschenberg, that match his beautiful, pastel pointillist backdrop that camouflages the dancers, when they pose motionless in front it.
Artists of BALLET WEST in SUMMERSPACE. photo by Beau Pearson
WASHINGTON BALLET in DUETS. (l-r): Tamako Miyazaki and Alexandros Pappajohn. photo by Dean Alexander
The Washington Ballet takes on “Duets” (1980), staged sensitively by Melissa Toogood, another of the Cunningham’s dances that is well suited for the skills of a classical company. Made for six couples in Mark Lancaster’s costumes and lighting, the clothes are an amazing mixture of colors – pastel and bright – and shapes – tights, leotards, skirts, and dresses – that seem random but blend wonderfully.
The piece has moments of dry humor, when a man keeps switching the hand that holds up his partner’s raised arm in a balance, while she holds a tilted passé. And another woman alternates hands on her partner’s outstretched support arm. The dancers can also exit the stage by suddenly disappearing behind a curtain upstage that cuts off the right third of the upstage.
WASHINGTON BALLET in DUETS. (l-r): Javier Morera, Nicole Graniero, Alexandros Pappajohn, and Tamako Miyazaki. photo by Dean Alexander
The dancers overlap each other’s duets, entering or crossing the stage, as if they are continuing their duet offstage. Cunningham is showing us the portion of action that appears in the space we can see, and encourages us to imagine the parts that might be happening out of our view. Here, Cunningham’s movement does not depart radically from ballet vocabulary; it just expands it, working in parallel as well as turned out and adding some un-balletic torso action that the dancers have seemingly embraced under Toogood’s expert coaching,
(Note: some photos of companies at The Joyce may be of alternate cast members)
Gus Solomons jr, © 2019
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THE THREE EPISODES THROWDOWN
Where we sing and dance to Luis Miguel’s AMVs.
Shoujo☆Kageki Revue Starlight
Yes it’s a Revue review, which isn’t quite a pun, since revue is indeed the origin of the word and both mean simply “see again”. Which would be a wise step before writing an analysis, especially for this series. TOO BAD.
Now, the other meanings of revue are that of “magazine”, perhaps because that’s what they were for initially, and in English, revue theatre consists of shows with several acts or a combination of several skills in an act, which is what most concerns the Japanese variety and thus, this series. The main inspiration for this work, in every sense, was the Takarazuka Revue company, the first all-female group focused on western stories, born at the beginning of the 20th century in contrast to the classic all-male Kabuki theatre, as a touristic incentive produced by the Hankyu Railways. Though not the original intention, this has obviously become iconic for many a women looking for empowerment and a sense of personal expression. Funnily enough, this line of theater developed in a much more cabaret-like fashion in South America, where the “teatro de revista” (magazine theatre) is usually a mix of lousy comedians and voluptuous women in skimpy, yet flamboyant outfits.
So this is what “dressed to kill” means.
Anyway, Revue Starlight is about a bunch of performer girls in training at a prestigious academy, where the usual Japanese intensity and group effort is compounded with the theatre’s competitive nature, all towards the Zero Position, the place in stage for the number one star… which is apparently still one who plays male roles. Japan. In particular we focus on Karen and her estranged childhood friend Hikari, who, as kids, swore they would become stars, then got separated for years while Hikari went to study at the best British academy, and now they reunite to fulfill or utterly mess up said promise.
I come to kick ass. From England.
Well, I’m the queen of bland, so there.
Production-wise… it’s spectacular. Design, animation, music, singing, it’s all top notch. There’s theatre imagery everywhere, there are creative uses of forced perspective, lighting, shadows, props… you name it. And it’s quite consistent so far, all the more so during the audition-fights, which are as dynamic and detailed as the best.
Truly a cut-throat industry.
But then there’s the most interesting, confusing, bombastic and fantastic element of the story, the underground revue. This are casting auditions, but also a rather dangerous tournament. They sing and dance, but also actually fight. This is the way the roles are determined, but it’s also a secret. This has every sign of being metaphoric, but the series makes it all too clear it’s absolutely happening for real. Everything else in the series is pretty much a realistic depiction of the struggles of theater training, except for this. I have to assume the idea here is that it works as representation of the feeling of theater itself, a land of contradictions. You compete with the people you share the stage with, you delve deep into the fiction of the stories presented, you confuse reality and fantasy at times, maybe? I should point out I know very little about any of this and I’m so very much NOT the intended audience for this. Also there’s a giraffe overseeing the audition tournament, because… yeah. I guess it’s a stand-in for a Kirin, which is a sort of good-luck fantasy creature. Or because the staff really like beer, dunno.
The other thing I should point out is that the director, Tomohiro Furukawa is a protégé of Kunihiro Ikuhara and worked extensively in Mawaru Penguindrum and Yuri Kuma Arashi. This is immediately apparent in the somewhat surreal nature of the audition tournament, very reminiscent of Ikuhara’s debut, Revolutionary Girl Utena, which itself was deeply influenced by the revue theatre, so you could say what goes around, comes around. The shocking use of color, music and a “transformation” scene full of mechanical action, all feel very much like the work of Ikuhara indeed. However, these elements and the place of this fantasy within reality are what worries the most about the future of the series. Even more than the fact that there’s not a single man in the series because it’s a Bushiroad idol production, so any interaction makes the fans combust. (I’M NOT KIDDING, LOOK IT UP)
As for the writer, it’s Tatsuto Higushi. Let’s say he makes very compelling ecchi. Have you heard of Cross Ange?
Why make it so very clear that the deadly auditions are happening, if there’s no way they are real?
And why not show a level of reaction to this reality that corresponds to its fantastic nature?
Why not show this world isn’t as normal as it seems in any other way than that?
It’s a unique kind of uneasiness that also stems from the fact that both the realistic and fantastic sides of the story don’t just aim towards the same goal, stardom; but also involve almost the same skills, with the glaring exception of combat. And sure, in the end, the winner simply has to take out a button holding a cape, but it sure looks like they are trying to kill each other for the most part.
Usually, fantastic elements work by either making sense in the context of the series or having an uncertain nature that makes it clear they are metaphors. None of those options quite apply.
Also, I’m concerned that there’s very little symbolism in the “transformation” sequence, and it’s mostly just an spectacular depiction of the making of clothes and putting on makeup.
So, I guess I hope the series manages to become more compelling in both fronts, particularly in the interpersonal conflicts, since all the characters still feel rather stereotypical and the yuri overtones (probably not his fault, but hey, another Ikuhara staple) will probably amount to nothing relevant. The most interesting aspect, in the context of revues, is that Karen, the protagonist, wants to become number one to share the spotlight with… everyone. Or at least with Hikari. That would be a drastic change from the current and real system, and at least that’s a theme that seems like it will be explored in depth.
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Mora-Amina
“I ended my last book, Images Matters, with a childhood memory of my father's quiet hum — the hum of a man mourning the loss of his wife. On the night of my mother's funeral, surrounded by his entire family and all of his friends in our home, my father hummed my mother's favorite Roberta Flack song. Swaying back and forth while his eleven-and-thirteen-year old daughters sang over the record, he hummed instead of crying. A hum can signify a multitude of things. A hum can be mournful; it can be presence in absence or can take the form of a gritty moan in the foreground or a soothing massage in the background. It can celebrate, animate, or accompany. It can also irritate, haunt, grate, or distract.
On that indelible night in the basement of our home, my father humming in the face of the unsayability of words. Even now, the memory of my father's quiet hum connects me to feelings of loss I cannot articulate in words, and it provokes in me a simultaneously overwhelming and unspeakable response. It is this exquisitely articulate modality of quiet— a sublimely expressive unsayability that exceeds both words, as well as what we associate with sound and utterance— that moves me towards a deeper understanding of the sonic frequencies of quotidian practices of black communities[1].”
youtube
You Heard of Roberta?
My initial response to these thoughtful words by Tina Campt was of course to make a dance. But once I read and reread this passage— three, four, five times— I was drawn to the mention of one Mrs. Roberta Flack, and left querying, which song was being referenced, which album? Knowing this was not the focus of Campt’s writing, I couldn’t help but to be inspired to go down my own sonic frequency rabbit hole. If I was going to make an embodied response to Campt, I would have to listen to Flack's catalog once again. Upon the first melancholy truthfully articulated chords, I was reminded of how penetrating Roberta Flack sound is. In the midst of this re-membering I realized I was veering away from what I initially intended my project to be, I wanted to make a performance and written piece about the Black utterance: the hum, the moan and the groan.
I wanted to speak to these Black utterances call and explore a Black embodied response through dance, this is a project that I will return to at a later date. Allowing this shift in my creative agenda, I viewed this as a chance to engage with a Diasporic spidering of thought. According to Nadine George-Graves, this is when, “The multidirectional process by which people of African descent define their lives. The lifelong ontological gathering of information by going out into the world and coming back to the self (George-Graves).” With this in mind, I gave myself over to Flack’s voice— a poetry in motion, gentle, penetrative and firm. I ruminated how its sound has played a distinct role in the transmission of Black dance aesthetics. This is specifically true of Black male choreographers. Often Flacks music is used to display a Black femininity as seen through the eyes of Black men.
I was struck by Flack’s voice; subversive in it's quiet deliverance, even when Flack is at the height of her vocal range, the pinnacle of story in song, her voice displays such technique and control that she is never screaming or yelling. Her sound is a centered power, crystal clear, shattering any emotional wall that the listener has erected. You never, ‘just listen’ to Roberta Flack, you become affixed to her sonics and in turn her story, resulting in a space time shift. You are brought to the scene of the loves lost crime she is depicting and are both seeing for the first time and reliving for the umpteenth time her and your story, you are sonically conjoined. Her singing makes short shrift of the listeners ears, cutting straight to the heart of the truth of the matter of all human existences. When a Black female dancer is chosen to respond to Flack’s call, this is a rite of passage, you have been anointed and are moving from mere female dancer to WO-MAN dancer. This is of great importance because you are faced with the herculean task of merging performing an embodied response to Flacks vocals and at the same time authentically portraying the character's story and point of view. This is something that can only be expertly transmitted through a body that has had mature living experiences.
The choreographers that have used Flack evidence both the traditional dance movements of Black dance aesthetics— driving speed, and frenetic energy— and at the same time displays movements of softer hues— languid arms, leg adagios and full all-knowing womanly undulations, and TIME to do so. When Flack is used it is slower, deliberate, patient even. It works less in the instantly demonstrative, and more inside of a deep, particular gendered Black femininity to tell stories of the girls, women and the mothers.
Examples of this are Donald McKayle’s Songs of the Disinherited, choreographed in 1972, the female solo Angelitos Negros , Billy Wilson’s Rosa choreographed in 1975, the all-female work featuring one female soloist to I Told Jesus Kevin Iega Jeff’s The Yellow Dress, the song Do What You Gotta Do, and Ronald K. Brown’s For Mother, choreographed in 2005, the song Go Up Moses, these are all examples of specific female dance stories being conveyed through Black male choreographers. What may sound patriarchal, is actually an embodied expression of “speaking nearby[2]”, as Trinh T. Minh Ha would say. Perhaps expressing and paying homage to the Black women these men grew up with, were nurtured by and loved. These choreographies are odes to Black female stories and lives.
vimeo
I performed Songs of the Disinherited while with Dallas Black Dance Theater in 2002. I was an ambitious young dancer that was awed and ready to work hard for Mr. McKayle. I was selected to dance the opening trio in the four-section ballet. I hoped I would have a chance to dance Angelitos Negros, but that was not to be, as there were women who had far more seniority than I did waiting to take on the mammoth dance task. They had been biding their time for the current soloist to leave. Learning the dance in secret hoping for their moment to display their worthiness, dance consecration of their WOMAN-NESS. Looking back at that time, I wasn’t ready, I had lived a bruising 24 years, but I was lacking the dance wisdom to apply to Roberta Flack’s question in the song, “ Painter of saints in the bedroom, if you have a soul in your body why have you in painting your paintings forgotten black people? Whenever you paint churches, you paint beautiful angels, but you never remember to paint a black angel.”
My chance to have a dialogue with Flack came in 2005 when I was chosen to dance in a newly commissioned work by Ronald K. Brown while at Philadanco. For Mother was a ballet that was choreographed and built on me and around me. This was an ordination, a crossing over of sorts, I was allowed into a very small club of Black women performers, a club that instead of a special hand shake, has special diasporic dance movements that very few can embody. These experiences are long ago, but unforgotten. The memories have stayed with me and informed me as an artist. A depth of re-memoring easily ignited from Tina Campt’s mention of Roberta Flack and a mourning father, humming instead of crying….
[1] Campt, Tina M. Listening to Images. Durham and London, Duke University Press, 2017.
https://vimeo.com/29883239
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One summer day, #ParkShinHye
Time off for Shin-hye who’s never stopped working. She glows under the dazzling Maldives sky and we finally find her relaxed.
ISSUE 2017.05.24
A camouflage pattern dress from YCH, Paua shell circle drop earrings from Matias, and White leather sandals from Dr. Martens.
YCH striped chiffon dress and white wide-leg pants, Matias drop earrings, and Coach’s cora domed satchel bag.
A black backless top and floral race skirt from N。21 , Drop earrings from Hotdew, and A swagger bag with double turn lock from Coach.
A cutout pink top from the Studio K, Earrings from Vintage Hollywood, A flower applique bag from Coach.
A white long t-shirt and corset belt from Vov, White and green cubic earrings and a ring from Hotdew, Premium leather cross strap sandals from Dr. Martens.
A see-through blouson jacket from S=YZ, Unbalanced earrings and a crystal swing necklace from Swarovski.
BEAUTY NOTE
Make skin moist and smooth with ‘Brightening Cover Watery Cushion’ that naturally covers up flawed skin and uneven texture, and complete the vivid look with a crayon type lip pencil ‘Creamy Tint Color Balm Light #3 Rosy Brick’ which moisturizes the lips like a lip balm. All from Mamonde.
Arriving at Male International Airport in the Maldives after a long flight. Shin-hye Park boosts the mood with energy like a vitamin while others are overwhelmed under the strong sunlight. This is why she is the life of the party, and everyone who has worked with Shin-hye compliments her. Everyday, she swims until being tired and enjoys snorkeling and wakeboarding with athletic talent despite that following shooting schedules waiting for her might depress her while she’s on a trip. The real side of her, full of beautiful youthfulness in her 20’s, surprisingly resembles her life as a veteran actress who has lived half of her life vigorously through different characters and serious ponderance that those characters have caused. She is not yet fully mature, and ingenuous, and full of curiosity.
I’ve heard that you have just finished filming ‘Silent Witness (Tentative Title).’
I began shooting ‘Silent Witness’ just after finishing drama ‘Doctors.’ It was April when I started shooting ‘Doctors’ and it was October when I finished shooting the film. I feel like I’ve shot 100-episodes of TV drama for over six month.
Your character ‘Hee-Jung’ in ‘Silent Witness’ is different from previous characters you’ve played.
Yes, she has totally different characteristics. She is a minority and is not bright, although she has her own belief and tries to maintain this. Maybe for the audience who don’t know the ending, Hee-Jung may look inflexible, unwilling to compromise, and rather stuffy.
We see you less on films than dramas. Is there any difference between them?
Films require deeper understanding of people and their emotions than dramas. In a drama, multiple relationships with loved ones, friends, and family lead the story. However, in a film, there are many occasions which focus solely on the relationship between me and my partner, obviously leading to more personal, deep, detailed acting. TV rating are important for dramas but I feel more pressure in movies since the audience come to movie theaters spending money and time. The question about whether I could attract the audience makes me think twice before accepting a role. I know I can’t avoid this question forever so I try to actively take on roles now.
You already have fourteen years of experience as an actress. Do you think you have improved?
Well, I think my attitude has become more flexible. I had felt shameful when I had many takes while shooting a film because I felt like the mistakes came from lack of practice. Then I realized that I could finally meet the real me after shedding stubbles through several takes. I am still concerned about my acting skills. I was once between a rock and a hard place when I was told that I could not attract the audience without a male actor. Pacing is really important for acting as well as in life, and hard-working is not the only answer.
So, now, this seems to be the real vacation for you because you’ve just finished everything.
I usually travel a lot after finishing working on films. I went to Portland with photographer Hyelim Shin after finishing ‘Doctors,’ and traveled to Italy, Switzerland, and Germany after finishing ‘Pinocchio.’ I spent most of time alone there. Oh, in Florence, I had a night tour and coincidentally, all the members in the tour were Korean women. We grabbed a beer and had a chat. The beer, I still miss the taste because it was really cool and tasty.
You seem to go back to be yourself and fully enjoy during a trip.
Right. while travelling, I just walk around comfortably and freely as if I don’t have much thought. It would have been more enjoyable and fun if I had done more backpacking when I was not as popular abroad as now. When I travelled to Jungfrau in Switzerland with my mother, I saw so many Koreans and Chinese who recognized me. I usually don’t care about other people recognizing me and I feel that getting pictures taken is inevitable. However, when I get bothered, I do tell them frankly. If you ask them politely and candidly, then most of them tend to understand.
This open-mindedness enables you to enjoy ordinary life like the people who are in the same age as you.
I like driving listening to music, and riding a bike when the weather is good. The beer after bike riding along the Han-river is always the best. Recently, I started inviting my friends to my house for dinner often because I just moved out of my parents’ house.
Didn’t your parents oppose your moving out since you are the youngest?
Yes, they did, a lot. They said they would rather see me get married and then move out (laugh). My mother keeps telling me that she wants me to get married soon if there is a good guy for me. One day, it just came to my mind that there is nothing solely mine in the world despite all my efforts and hard working. So, I decided to move out to have my own space first. There WAS my room but it could be invaded anytime by my family. This is a bit ridiculous but I was so bothered by this idea that I even muted my own voice when I practiced script reading in my room.
You must have gotten interested in interior design.
Yes, but I’m not still sure which style fits well with my house: Northern Ireland style, modern style, or maybe pop arts style. Overall, I like white tone, but the curtains should be navy. I like wood furniture but I don’t think every piece of furniture should be of wooden material. I’m still debating so my house remains very simple without much decoration.
Where do you see yourself when you get to your 30s?
Probably still running around in a shooting location. But when it comes to acting, I want to be an actress who can express her inner story with more detailed emotions, like the movie “Very Ordinary People.” I want to work on a piece about the instant moment that everyone has experienced one way or another: The heartbreaking moment and happy moment. My life is like a happy escape from reality. Be adventurous and travel. Eat whatever you want. It’s okay because you can work out later.
A sleeveless dress from Tell the Truth, Cubic circle drop earrings from Matias, A yellow and blue bracelet by Vintage Hollywood, Rita Monica silver bangle, and Dr. Martens black gladiator sandals.
Giambattisa Valli’s white chiffon dress, gangster ring set of 3 from Swarovski.
BEAUTY NOTE
Make skin soft and bright like having powder applied with a ‘Brightening Cover Powder Cushion’ that completely covers up blemishes and pores, and apply the vivid look on your lips with a crayon type lip pencil ‘Creamy Tint Color Balm Intense #5 Blooming Rose.’ All from Mamonde.
A striped shirt dress from Le Sarte Pettegole by Seven Sisters, and Swarovski’s black and white glance earrings, necklace, Crystaldust Choke and bracelet.
Coach’s floral dress and Rogue bag with colorblock snake handles, Red earrings from Vintage Hollywood.
http://www.instylekorea.com/issue/article_view.asp?seq=2896
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@skwhy you dense troll
http://makinggayhistory.com/podcast/episode-1-1/ "It was always the effeminate male or the butch woman, that’s what society always looked at. We are the ones that went out there and we didn’t take no shit from them. We didn’t have nothing to lose. Actually, you know, at that point in time, you know, I understand the ones that held their heads down low, because they probably had very nice jobs and they had a family to go to. I was born to be an effeminate child. My grandmother used to come home and find me all dressed up. Just like… I’d get my ass whipped, of course, you know. “Well we don’t do this. You’re one of the boys. I want you to be a mechanic.” I said, no, but I want to be a hairdresser. I want to do this. And I want to wear these clothes." Sylvia Rivera Sylvia: Because, straight society always looks, “Oh, well a faggot always dresses in drag or he’s too effeminate.” You’ve got to be who you are. Passing is like saying a light skin black woman or black male passing for white. And I refuse to pass. Eric: You couldn’t have passed. Sylvia: No, I couldn’t pass. Eric: Not in this lifetime. Sylvia: No, not in this lifetime. I just like being myself. It’s fun being… It’s fun being Sylvia. It’s fun playing the game. •••••••••• https://mobile.nytimes.com/blogs/takingnote/2015/08/26/who-threw-the-first-brick-at-stonewall/?referer= We know nothing conclusively. Besides, it’s wrongheaded to be overly concerned with pinning one clear-cut act on one identifiable person, in a misguided attempt to make say that so-and-so rather than so-and-so “started” Stonewall, and that therefore history teaches us that X rather than Y is true. A heterogeneous street crowd started the resistance at Stonewall, not a particular person. Are there reliable accounts and historical records from that night? The most we are ever likely to be able to say about the origin of the riot is that, according to newspaper reports and eyewitnesses, there were a couple of hundred patrons inside the bar when police raided it, and as police attempted to make arrests and load people into the transport vehicles, an agitated, resistive crowd of several hundred more formed on the street. At some point members of the crowd began to hurl bricks, bottles, coins and garbage at the police, and the situation escalated from there. ••••• http://makinggayhistory.com/podcast/episode-11-johnson-wicker/ Marsha: Well, uh, at first it was just a gay men’s bar. And they didn’t allow no, uh, women in. And then they started allowing women in. And then they let the drag queens in. I was one of the first drag queens to go to that place. ‘Cause when we first heard about this… and then they had these drag queens workin’ there. They didn’t never arrested anybody at the Stonewall. All they did was line us up and tell us to get out. •••• https://www.quora.com/Psychology-Whats-the-difference-between-drag-queens-cross-dressers-and-transvestites This question is an important one, because there are many reasons a person may dress or act in a manner associated with their "opposite" gender, and in the case of transexual children societal understanding can save lives. Be aware most of the terms we are discussing are vernacular labels, and to a degree reflect stereotypes which are not in real life so simple, as gender expression and identity can be very nuanced and complex. Cross Dressing A "Cross dresser" is a general term for any person who routinely wears clothing typical of another gender, regardless of their reasons for doing so. Transvestites A "transvestite" is typically a male, often heterosexual, who regularly wears female clothing as a sexual fetish or as an act of expression of social defiance etc. A fictional example of a transvestite might be the character "Klinger" from the TV series M.A.S.H. who feels compelled to cross dress as a form of protest as well as a form of defiance and self expression. For some, the term transvestite is a perjorative. Transexualism A "transexual" is an individual withgender dysphoria, who deeply feels their mind and spirit is of different gender than the body they were born in. Many transexuals never cross dress at all, or do so only during a phase where they transition to the gender they wish to live or are discovering their transexuality. The distress they feel is often profound and has a major impact on their lives. Suicide rates for untreated transexuals are in excess of 30 percent, and account for a significant number of childhood and teen suicides as young transexuals reach puberty and experience their body and societal expectations inexorably changing in a manner which for them is entirely wrong. These extremely profound feelings of being in the wrong kind of body are not temporary, most transexuals report a disconnect between their body gender and their mind from their earliest memories. A popularized expression of transexualism would be the phrase "a woman trapped in a man's body." Transexualism is a gender condition distinct from sexuality. A transexual may be heterosexual, bisexual, or homosexual and studies suggest they reflect the rest of society in regards to the percentage of those who identify as homosexual etc if you consider their declared gender as "correct." The accepted treatment for gender disphoria is, on confirmation/recognition of the diagnosis, often sex change. The degree of sex change may be as simple as full time cross dressing to allow an external expression of the "true" gender or one which involves hormone therapy and/or surgical reconstruction. Remarkably, suicide rates for treated transexuals drops to below 2 percent. A transexual who fully transitions gender does so at great pain and expense, including sacrificing their ability to become a parent and going through a series of excruciating major surgeries. When considered along with the extraordinarily high rate of suicide if left untreated, this should indicate the remarkable degree of distress a transexual individual can feel when their body does not match their actual gender. Gender is a central aspect of identity, with great impact on an individual developmentally as well as in all aspects of interpersonal relationships and societal role. Gender disphoria is remarkable as one of the few psychological disorders which is regularly and succesfully treated through surgical intervention, and it seems likely that in the future the biological root causes may become known. In the future newborn babies may be assigned gender not only as a result of cursory visual examination but in conjunction with brain scan and DNA analysis. Our relatively new understanding of transsexualism very strongly suggests that society should consider adopting measures to detect and assist transexual children prior to puberty instead of simply condemning them as "freaks" or "perverts." Most transexuals desire nothing more than to live a "normal" life where their gender is simply accepted and as unremarkable as anyone else's. "Drag" A "Drag Queen" is a campy and sometimes perjorative term for a person, typically a male, who cross-dresses as a form of performance art or theatre. Often this involves exaggeration or parody of gender differences through dress and behavior as a means of provoking audience reaction. Contrasts The psychology of these different forms of transgenderism is very different in nature. For example: A biologically male drag queen might crossdress in a way which is exaggeratedly "effeminate," and seek attention. Cross dressing would only be for the sake of audience reaction and be entirely public. However a born-male transexual would be more likely to cross dress in a way as to pass as unremarkably "feminine" and typically seeks to pass unnoticed. This transexual would likely argue that they are in fact female, and that their body is what is inappropriate to their true gender, and any cross dressing they engage in would be as likely to be for comfort while at home, in other words an "audience reaction" or public notice is about the last thing they would want. While a male transvestite might relate a story of wearing a female relative or friends clothing and becoming sexually excited when young. Clothing while cross dressing might be highly sexualized and any public cross dressing is typically intended to spark a reaction. In short, while the public may lump anyone who cross dresses together under a typically perjorative stereotype, these forms of trans-gender behavior are completely distinct. ••••••• https://igfculturewatch.com/2015/08/11/the-stonewall-myth/ Back in 1999 IGF posted Stonewall Revisitedby historian Eric Marcus, who noted, “The story of what really happened at Stonewall has yet to be distorted and embellished beyond the point of recognition, but it’s well on its way.” And in 2002, we ran The Myth of the Transsexual Stonewall by Dale Carpenter, who wrote: “It is wrong to characterize the Stonewall Inn as having been a sanctuary for genderqueers (unless that term encompasses non-transgendered gay men).” Eric Marcus wrote: The Stonewall Inn attracted an eclectic crowd, from teenage college students like Morty Manford to conservatively dressed young men who stopped in with their dates after the theater or opera. “It was a different mind-set then,” recalled Dawn Hampton. “On weekends, men dressed up. A lot of them were dating and they would dress in coat and tie.” … The Stonewall Inn was not a generally welcoming place for drag queens, although as Martin Duberman notes, “…a few favored full-time transvestites, like Tiffany, Spanola Jerry, a hairdresser from Sheepshead Bay, and Tammy Novak… were allowed to enter Stonewall in drag…”
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