#there is beauty everywhere get off reddit and go look for it
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hate when assholes use santa clause, the easter bunny, tooth fairy, etc being made up as a reason to be cynical or to make kids sad.
“tHeY LiEd tO uS As KiDs, mAgiC isN’T ReAL aNd eVeRyThiNg SuCKs” ok but did you ever consider that the fact those ARE lies is just as amazing? that the real magic lies in the beauty of millions of adults, with or without kids, all agreeing to tell those stories so young children can experience a kind of joy unique to childhood while they still can?
you rube. you utter buffoon. the most magical thing about this world is a society’s collective cooperation to ensure the happiness of others.
#‘christmas is too commercialized!!’ i don’t care#i do not care#you do not understand how little i am inclined to care#grow up#cynicism for cynicism’s sake is childish and i hate it#there is beauty everywhere get off reddit and go look for it
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Scare Tactics
18+ Aaron Hotchner x Fem Reader
Summary: Surprisingly, Aaron agreed to a darker roleplay this Halloween.
Warnings: Ghostface role play, scene planning and negotiations, taking about safewords and limits, CNC, stalking, stalker phone calls, fake break-ins, handcuffs, oral (male receiving), deep throating, rough sex, degradation, name calling, slight pet/owner kink mentioned, begging, vibrators, multiple orgasms, unprotected sex, creampies, domdrop, aftercare
Word Count: 6100
When he gets in that night, it’s late. Pushing midnight, late. That’s not really a shock to her, he’s always got something going on. Between driving his son everywhere he needs to be, working on the PTA and teaching night classes at the local college, Aaron Hotchner is a busy man. Always has been, and always will be.
She’s in bed, scrolling through things on her phone as she waits for him to arrive. She is just catching up on the newest trends and celebrity gossip when she hears his heavy feet coming up the creaky old steps of their century home. While it is a beautiful place to lay low in the middle of nowhere, the sounds it made— especially at night— were insanely creepy.
The TikTok she’s watching doesn’t help either… she’s been listening to creepy Reddit stories and looking at home footage of spooky happenings. The videos she’s seen the most tonight, however, are ghost face videos. Be it thrust traps or couples going to the store to buy a mask to enhance alone time later that night, she’s seen them all.
There’s one on her screen as Aaron opens their door, she quickly locks her phone and looks at him with a guilty smile.
His old profiler ways clock in on the awkwardness right away, “What were you doing?”
“Nothing,” she presses her lips together and shakes her head, pretending she doesn’t know what he’s talking about.
“Wait… were you watching porn?” He asks. Eyes narrowed in on her, waiting to read her reaction.
She laughs, “no? Oh my god? I mean…. It’s not, but it definitely does something to me.”
He sits on the edge of the bed, “well, now you have to tell me?”
She sighs, thinking how she’s going to explain it to him of all people. “You’re going to think I’m insane.”
“Too late,” he teases.
She shoves him, “Seriously, it’s weird… I don’t even like the movies but—
“Oh, you were looking at thirst traps again?” He’s only recently learned that term.
She can’t help but smile, “Yeah… do you know the scream movies?” He nods. “There’s a trend right now where couples are having sex while the dominant partner has the ghost face mask on.”
“It is like a full role play? Breaking in? Phone calls? Knife play?” He asks as if they’re setting boundaries already, planning a kinky scene is something they’ve done a few times. He likes to know all the limits, the expectations and what turns her on about it before they agree to anything.
“Wait, you’d do it?” She asks, sitting up straighter. “Seriously?”
He nods, “if it’s something that’ll get you off, why not?”
She tosses the blankets back and gets to her knees, he pulls her into his lap and holds her by her hips. She cups his face and presses a quick kiss to his lips, “so you don’t think it’s weird?”
He shakes his head, “Not at all… mask kinks are incredibly common.”
“And if I did want you to pretend to stalk me and break in and overpower me…”
“I’d need some prep time, I’ll have to have a free day the next day and Jack can’t be in the house that night,” he explains his boundaries. “I’ll, of course, give you aftercare right after and when you’re okay, we can switch?”
She pets his hair and nods, “Of course, my love. I’ll take the best care of you after. I appreciate everything you’re willing to do for me.”
“You just have to get the mask and maybe we can talk about the specifics of a script or series of events for the night,” he whispers, brushing his nose against hers. “Maybe you can get something new to wear during it?”
She likes the sound of that, but she just has one question. “Black or red?”
—
He gets a burner phone a week before the scene is set to happen. He doesn’t tell her thats what he’s done but when he’s getting ready to leave for work one night he smirks from the closet and says “if you get a phone call from an unknown number… be sure to answer, okay?”
She knows he has a class tonight, he has Introduction to Legal Skills from 6-8 and then Trial Advocacy from 9-11:30. Jack goes to bed around 10:30, so she knows he’ll call sometime after Jack's in bed. Otherwise, he could hear the conversation and either be scared for life knowing his parents had kinky sex or grow concerned that his stepmom had a real stalker after her. And he’s been traumatized enough for a 17-year-old boy.
Sure enough, her phone rings at 11:45 while she’s in the living room, on her phone with the TV on in the background.
“Hello?” She answers, a fake sense of nervousness in her voice.
“What are you watching, Y/N?” He asks, his voice deeper than usual. Almost scarily deep.
“Excuse me?” She can’t believe he’s really doing this. “Who is this?”
“Have you never watched a scary movie before? You should know asking that is a death wish,” he teases. “But you never answered my question.”
“How do you even know I’m watching TV?” She asks, it’s not like the sound is up. She looks out the window to make sure he’s not out there, completely forgetting that they have security cameras inside and he can access them on his real cellphone.
“You’re on the couch, in a cute little black tank top and shorts… aren’t you cold? It’s October.”
“How do you know that?”
“I know a lot more than you think,” he taunts.
“Then shouldn’t I know something about you too?” She asks, turning it back on him. “Don’t you think that’s fair?”
“Hmm… I suppose it would, but isn’t part of the fun all in the mystery?”
“You must know my husband used to be an FBI agent so—
“Ah yes, agent Hotchner,” he laughs. “Retired, haunted, old man, Aaron Hotchner.”
“He can still kick your ass,” she assures. Both scaring this character and stroking his ego at the same time. “And enjoy doing it.”
“We’ll see about that.” He says before hanging up.
It makes shivers run down her spine and all the hair on her body stands tall. If she didn’t know this was actually him, it would be incredibly terrifying. Yet for some reason, she’s more turned on right now than anything.
When he gets home that night, she’s still in the living room. Waiting for him. He puts his bag down, kicks off his shoes and hangs up his coat before making his way over to her and crashing down onto the couch. He lays his head into her lap and she brushes his hair back, “tough class?”
He nods, “they asked so many questions. It’s literally not even that hard.”
“Awe,” she sympathizes. “Not everyone is as smart as you, handsome.”
“How was your night?” He looks up at her with a smile.
“Good, Jack drove us to get some ice cream tonight and he was actually really good at it this time and then I got a weird phone call…”
“Huh,” he raises his brows quickly. “Weird… do you know who it was?”
“No idea.”
“Well, just keep an eye on it,” he advises. The profiler in him wants to say don’t answer the phone again but the game was too fun. He wanted her to answer again, he wanted to tease her, he wanted to make it as real as possible.
This was going to be a fun week.
—
She gets a call every night that week. The calls last anywhere from a minute to 10, depending on how long she can keep him talking in his sexy deep voice. She switches into a cute little night dress before their next conversation and she sits on the couch facing their security camera with the hem of her nightgown pushed up a bit too high… giving him a show.
“So…” she asks, wishing she had an old corded phone to twirl around her fingers. “What do you look like? Are you cute at least?”
He snickers, “That’s your question today? Really?”
“Yep, I mean if you’re going to stalk me and find me and make me yours, you better be hot,” she teases him.
“I’m… average, I guess?” He struggles to compliment himself.
“I figured you wouldn’t be as handsome as my husband…”
He sighs, “I’m going to make you pay for all these comments.”
She laughs, “okay… I’m sure.”
“Taunting a psychopath is never a good—
“That’s a lie, I know from my husband that sometimes taunting them is what they need. Sometimes they’re such losers that this is all an act, pissing them off makes them slip up and expose themself… so is this all an act? Are you secretly a loser who needs attention? What, did your mommy not love you enough growing up? Or was it daddy beating you that made you this way?”
“You’ve got two days,” he reminds her. “I’m going to get you.”
He hangs up and she smirks, she loves riling him up like this. She knows that once he gets his hands on her, once he has that mask on, she’s in for the ride of her life.
—
Sure enough, the Friday before Halloween, Jack heads out to a party and says he’ll be sleeping over at a friend's house that night. His phone is charged, his costume is on and his ride is about to pull up to their driveway.
“You remember you can call either one of us, at any time of the night, and we will come get you,” she reminds him. “No matter what state you’re in… I understand that drinking is something you’ll probably do tonight, and I won’t tell your dad, but go easy. Have water between beers and don’t drink from a cup you didn’t pour yourself or one you left unattended no matter how much time passed. And if you feel weird, uncomfortable or you just want to come home, you call me.”
“I know, Mom,” he assures her, looking at her with that annoyed teenager look.
“And drugs… please, please be careful. Peer pressure is real, being curious is okay, but don’t do anything intense. Smoking copious amounts of weed before the age of 27 can stop your brain from fully forming and other drugs can literally kill you because you have no idea what they’re mixed with—
“Mom, I’m not going to do drugs tonight,” he cuts her off, looking as serious as his father can.
“Okay,” she lets out a deep breath just as the headlights shine through their stained glass front door. “Give me a hug,” she says, arms open and waiting for him.
He steps into her space and holds her tight, “I love you, be safe.”
“I love you too, I’ll text you when I’m on my way home tomorrow.”
“And before you go to bed too, please? Even if its just a heart emoji, I want to know you’re going to bed, I don’t care what time it comes in,” she stares him down before letting him pull away. “I love you.”
“Okay, okay,” he smiles. “I’ve got it, I’m going now. Have a good night.”
“Oh, I will,” she smirks.
“Gross!” He calls out as he heads out the door, skips down the stairs and heads out to his friend's mom's car. She waves at them, gets a wave from the driver back and then they’re gone.
She locks the door once he’s gone, turns off the lights downstairs and heads up to her room where she changes into the new lingerie she bought at Aaron’s request and she lights a few candles around her room. She grabs the mask from her closet as well as a black silk robe and black boxer briefs and she lays them all on the table in the entryway downstairs with a note that says “Wear me.”
She goes to the kitchen and gets them some snacks for after, a couple water bottles and his bottle of scotch with a glass in case that’s what he wants after. He needs to be able to relax and unwind and know he did a good job and he’s not a bad guy for divulging in this role-play for her. If anything, he’s the best man in the world being able to do this for his wife.
And she waits in her room.
The first call she gets is from Aaron, 10 minutes after his class ends.
“Hey baby,” she answers quickly.
“Are we still on for tonight?” He double-checked, making sure nothing had changed between his leaving for work and now.
“Mhm, I’m waiting for Mr. Ghostface to arrive,” she whispers, voice low and dark. Making sure he knows just how ready she is.
“And you remember the safe word?”
She hums again, “I do, and we can both use it, remember?”
“I will if I need to,” he says and she can hear the smile on his face. “Did Jack leave okay?”
“Yeah, about an hour ago,” she assures. “We’re all good to go unless he calls and needs to come home.”
“I’m sure he won’t,” Aaron’s positive. “Can you do me a favour?”
“Sure?”
“You put my mask downstairs?”
“I did,” she smirks. “And an outfit…”
“Oh, okay,” he sounds so excited. “Can you put my handcuffs down there too?”
“Are they in the safe?” She double-checks, cause the last time she saw them they were in his bedside drawer…
“They are…”
She gets up from the bed, goes into their closet and presses her thumb to the sensor, he could probably hear the lock click as the door swings open. He has 2 guns and his cuffs right there, sitting on top of their important documents and her most expensive jewelry.
“I’ll leave them downstairs for you,” she says as she takes them out and shuts the safe once more. “Anything else you want?”
“Just you,” he teases.
“okay well, I’ve got another phone call I’m expecting, so I should let you go,” she says while heading back down the stairs.
“Can we just pause for a sec?” He asks.
“Mhm, what’s up?”
“So you still want me to pretend to break in? We’re still doing everything we talked about?” He asks again, obviously nervous.
“Hey, we don’t have to do any of it if you’ve changed your mind?” She assures. “I mean it, we can just do something vanilla tonight, we don’t have to do a scene.”
“I want to make you happy—
“I won’t have fun if you don’t,” she resets the boundaries. “You tell me what you want to do and that’s what we’ll do.”
“I’m going to call you from outside, I’m going to make my way in and I’m going to sneak up the stairs and find you in the bedroom where I’m going to restrain you by cuffing you to the bedpost and have my way with you,” he lays out the series of events. “We’ll have sex, I’ll free you, I’ll take care of you until you calm down and then I would like some cuddles.”
“I have water and snacks in here waiting for us to be done, would you like a bath after?” She asks.
“Yeah, that would be nice,” he says and she can hear him smile again. “Okay, good. Good, we’re ready to go.”
“I love you,” she whispers. “I’m so excited to try this.”
“I love you more,” he reminds her and then he’s off. They say their final goodbye and she heads back upstairs to her room to await her hell prince.
—
She sees his headlights as he pulls into the driveway but she doesn’t hear his door shut, they just go out. That’s when her phone rings again.
“You again,” she teases right away. “Let me guess you know I’m home alone and you just wanna ‘talk’?”
“I just wanted to hear your pretty voice one last time,” he says with his deepest voice, it’s almost a growl.
Chills run down her spine once more. He’s way too good at this.
“What?” She asks, fear on her tongue.
“I’m going to miss you when you’re gone.”
“I’m not going anywhere?”
“You’re right… I’m coming to you.”
The line clicks and all she’s left with is the sound of her heartbeat in her ears… and her panties. Well, lack thereof. This set didn’t really leave much to the imagination. It was perfect to tear off. Easy to cut if need be. And currently, soaked.
Her ears feel like they’re on fire as she tries her hardest to listen to what’s going on downstairs. Either he’s being extra quiet or he’s not in the house yet. But he will be. He’ll change and he’ll climb the stairs and push her door open and take her. And she’ll take him. She’ll take him so good he’ll want to wear this fucking mask all the goddamn time.
And then the stairs of their century home creak, one by one as he climbs them ever so slowly. Slower than ever before. They creek and pop, they whine and echo down the hall towards her bedroom. There are only two times that these stairs sounding this awful are so helpful and it’s during role-plays like this and when their teenager sneaks out at night.
He makes his way down the hallway, towards the bedroom door and he looks through the crack. Mask on, that classic screaming, white face shines through the dark. He pushes the door open, making it squeal on rusty hinges. They really need to fix those.
“Aaron?” She calls out.
“Think again,” he teases, voice muffled behind the mask but still deep.
She scoots up the bed, drawing her knees in closer to her body as she cowers away. Checking him out in the meantime. The way he’s hard in his boxers, how his robe opens to show off his cute tummy and salt and pepper treasure trail… he’s delicious and all hers.
He creeps forward, “Don’t you know the rules to survival in a horror movie?” She shakes her head in fear. “Rule number one, sex equals death.”
“I wasn’t—
“But you were ready for it,” he points at her with his free hand and she notices how he’s gripping his cuffs with the other. He starts to twirl the cuff around his finger while chuckling deep from within. “What a shame he leaves a sexy thing like you home all by yourself most nights…”
“He’ll be home any—
“No, he won’t,” he taunts, and she can hear the smirk on his face. “I’ll be long finished with you by the time he comes back.”
He pounced on the bed, struggled with her to get a cuff on her one wrist and bring them both up to the headboard so he could loop the cuffs around the bars and trap her there. “You’re mine.”
“Please don’t do this,” she begs, trying her hardest to stay in character.
“Boo hoo,” he says, really not giving a shit what she wants or doesn’t. He straddles her waist and walks on his knees until his junk is right there near her face. “You’re going to take what I give you.”
She can’t help sticking her tongue out, wetting the fabric of his boxers as he presses his bulge against her face. Mouth watering, she can smell him under the fragrance of their detergent on his boxers. “Cock drunk already? You’re such a good little slut, no wonder that old man loves you.”
She whines, “Please Mr. Ghostface…”
“Say it,” he growls.
“Let me suck your cock, please? I need it,” she begs this time, watching him pull his boxers down just enough to expose his cock.
It stands tall, he grips himself by the base and taps it against her tongue a few times and she moans before licking at the head and taking him into her mouth. She drags her tongue along the pulsating vein on the underside of his perfect cock. He’s uncut and thick and her mouth is watering by the time she takes him between her lips. She relaxes her jaw, avoids her teeth, and uses her tongue around the head… all things he’s asked her to do for him in the past. This is the only cock she’s sucked and actually enjoyed doing it in her whole life.
The man above her grips her hair tighter and groans, “sweet christ… such a good little slut for me, taking my cock like a fucking champ.”
She hums around him, so content already but the praise mixed with the degrading words… fuck, was it ever good? She gains more confidence, sucking this man's cock like her life depends on it. Wet and sloppy, she gets drool all over her chin and it drips down her neck to pool at the pillows but she doesn’t give a fuck. She takes him deeper, letting the man fuck her throat, breathing through her nose with her eyes shut, she gags slightly but it’s bearable, she likes it… Mr. Ghostface really likes it, too, if his moans behind the mask are any indication.
He drags his hand from her hair, down the side of her face and he cups her cheek as he pulls out, hearing her whine. “If I’m going to fuck you, I’m gonna need this back,” he teases.
She whines again, “but, but?” Her voice horse and her breathing heavy.
“But nothing, you’re going to sit there and you’re going to take it like a good little whore I know you are,” he taunts.
Getting off her and the bed, he lets his boxers go and he tosses off the stupid little robe he was wearing to complete the fit. Now naked except for his mask, he pulls her beside drawer open and pulls out her vibrator and the pocket knife she keeps there for… reasons like the time she couldn’t get the knots undone when she restrained him once.
He tosses the vibe on the bed and flips the blade out of the pocket knife. She squirms, “What are you going to do with that?”
“Cut these new panties off you… never saw these in the drawer the last time I was in here,” he says, building the story more.
“You’ve…you’ve been in my home before?”
He nods, “many times.”
“You’re a sick fuck,” she spits at him.
“Mhm and you’re going to love it,” he says as he climbs back between her legs.
He drags the tip of the blade from her stomach to her hip, down her thigh and back up. “Look at the way you quiver for me, how eager you are to spread your legs… don’t tell me your FBI boyfriend taught you to just give it up like this?”
“Husband,” she corrects him.
“Boring,” he taunts. “Husbands are useless, you get boring sex and boring conversations and then they die.”
He slips the blade under the elastic on her hip and starts to cut it off. Slowly, she feels the fabric snap apart and exposes her to him. He grips the hem on her other hip and pulls her panties off the one leg he didn’t destroy. He flings them off and tosses the knife onto her bedside table but he tosses it too hard and it slides all the way off, behind the table and almost takes the lamp out with it. “Oops,” he laughs from deep within.
He takes the vibrator back in his hand and turns it on, “I can’t eat you out without showing you my face, so I guess I’m going to have to make you cum a few times with this…”
“Fuck,” she whines, legs spread as she arches closer to the sound of the buzzing.
On the lowest setting, he drags the head of the vibe over her inner thigh and over her hip bone. Up her stomach and then onto her hardened nipple. She whines again, “please? Please Mr. Ghostface?”
He hums, “Be patient, slut.”
He runs it over her other nipple, watching as she tosses her head back and bites her lip, hard. She tugs at the cuffs, making them click against the metal bed poles as she soots down the bed, trying to get closer to him, begging for some friction where she needs it most.
He slowly brings the vibe back down her body and presses it to her clit a bit roughly, he presses the button to speed it up, putting it on the second speed and hearing her yelp. “oh my god?” She grinds against it, “holy fuck.”
“Don’t be afraid to make some noise, we’re all alone here tonight,” he assures. “And if we’re not… if your husband walks in on us I want him to hear how much of a slut you’ve been for me. Let him know what you want can’t be achieved by him.”
She moans again, it’s oddly hot pretending to cheat on him… he leans in closer to her, holding the vibe to her clit as he hovers over her. She leans forward, wanting to kiss him even though he’s in a mask, she whines, “Need you,” she whispers. “Please?”
“Cum for me first,” he says, shaking his head. “I want you soaked and trembling when I slip into you. And if you’re good, maybe I’ll un-cuff you for it.”
“Oh god,” she arches her hips again, pressing herself against the vibrator even more, “Oh please?”
“Close already?” He teases, pressing the button again so it can go as fast as possible. “Go on whore, you can do it. Cum for me.”
Her thighs are absolutely trembling as she gets closer. With her eyes tightly shut and her jaw dropped, she lets out breathy moans and rides the head of the vibrator. He’s so close to her, pressed to her side with his hard cock resting on her hip, “you’re doing so good, baby, come on, it’s right there,” he praises her, letting his character slip a bit.
She accidentally says his name as the dam breaks, she cums with a quake, “Oh my god, oh fuck,” she whines as he keeps holding the vibrator to her clit and she can’t pull away from him.
He snickers, “There she is, I love that noise you make when you cum on this thing.”
“How—
“You keep asking stupid questions,” he cuts her off. “What part of I’ve been stalking you can’t you get through your thick skull?”
“Please, please stop?” She begs. “S’too much.”
He pulls back just for a second, causing her to sigh and then he presses the vibrator right back to her. “You really thought I’d let you stop at just one? When I know you like to cum at least 3 times… that’s why you got this toy, isn’t it? Cause that old man you’re shackled to can’t go more than one round without getting tired.”
“Fuck you,” she spits, whining and grinding against the toy in her overstimulation.
“Oh, you will,” he whispers. “I’m going to get you all pliant and dumb and then I’m going to flip you over and fuck you senseless like the little pet that you are. Maybe I’ll even keep you forever? Get you a cute little collar and a leash and make you mine.”
She moans again, bucking her hips towards the feeling, he knows it takes her a bit longer to get to the second one sometimes. So he keeps talking. “I know just how much you like that, being fucked in doggy. You like being held down, feeling my balls clap against your ass while I fuck you deep and hard. When I push my weight against you… and when I wrap my hand around your throat to draw you in for a kiss.”
She doesn’t give any warning, she just comes right then and it’s clearly a shock to her too. She shakes like mad and not a single coherent sound leaves her mouth. She’s completely wrecked, cock-drunk and ready for more. He turns off the vibrator and lets her relax for just a moment, he runs his hand over her stomach and up to her boobs, cupping it and rubbing his thumb over her nipple, making her twitch again. “Shhh, it’s okay. I’ve got you…”
She just nods, trying to catch her breath, she can’t find any words to say.
“If I un-cuff you, are you going to run away?” He asks, watching her shake her head. “Didn’t think so… not like you could with your jello legs.”
She smiles, full of euphoria, “yeah…”
He heads over to his own nightside table, the key is in a little dish where he puts his watch and ring at night. Although, his ring is downstairs tonight, to add to the ambiance that this is a stranger fucking her and not her husband in a mask.
He’s quick to get her out of the cuffs and he soothes over the ache in her wrists. “You okay?” He asks, his voice soft and low, breaking character slightly.
She nods, “you? It’s not too hot in there?”
“It’s fine,” he nods too. “Ready?”
She lets him roll her over, he gets her on her knees with her ass in the air and pushes her face into the pillow. “It’s time for the ride of your life.”
He taps his cock against her ass cheek, making it jiggle. He loves her curves and her flub and the way she shakes and jiggles and how he has all this skin to hold onto while he fucks her like this. He grips her cheeks, spreading them apart to see how much of her cum has slipped down from one hole to the other, she’s glistening and wet and so, so ready for him to fuck her. He grinds his cock between her folds, using her slick to coat himself and glide back and forth, teasingly, before he sticks it in.
He doesn’t give any warning, he simply rams his cock into her, making her gasp. “Oh, you feel better than I imagined…” He pulls out slightly and slams back inside again and again, not giving her any time adjust to it. “Been obsessed with the idea of fucking this pussy from the moment I first laid eyed on you. Knew you’d take me so well.”
She whines into the pillow, reaching her hand back, he holds it and goes to reach for the other. Holding both her hands, making her hold herself up with her core muscles as he fucked into her. Her tits dangle and shake with the force of his thrusts, she makes the most whorish moans and gasps. When she gets tired, she pushes her face back into the mattress and arches her back even more.
She mumbles into the pillow and he grips her hair, pulling her back, “what?”
“Harder!” She eggs him on.
Chuckling, “Such a good whore…” he teases. He reaches for the vibrator and turns it on. He slips it underneath her and he pushes on her back so that she can grind against it as he fucks her harder. Absolutely ramming into her, she goes feral for it. Making noises he hasn’t ever heard from her before as the bed hits the wall at a jackhammering rhythm.
She grips the sheets like her life depends on it, drooling into the mattress where her face is pressed, she screams as he hits her cervix hard. She’s so close, he can feel it by the way she clenches and sucks in him deeper, the sounds she’s making and the way she trembles. It’s intoxicating. He’s fucking addicted to it. He’s going to need to do this to her more often if she likes it this much…
She feels so good, but it’s everything else that’s got him so close to cumming deep inside of her. His rhythm changes as he gets closer. He ruts against her faster, making her ass shake even more as he chases his high. He’s breathing heavily, at a loss for words, but he knows how much she gets off on his voice. “Right there,” he pants. “Right fucking there, take it. Take it, whore. Oh, fuck, you feel so good. So fucking good for me.”
She says his name again, chanting it this time, “Aar!” She screams as she cums for the 3rd time tonight.
He fucks her through it, right there with her. He can feel her getting wetter than ever before like she’s managed to squirt and that gets him. He starts to cum, feeling it rush through his body as he fills her up. She lets out another moan, feeling him fuck his cum deeper into her a few times before he drops down onto her. She’s strong enough to push herself up and scoot up a bit so she’s not trapped on top of the vibrator and they both sigh. He takes off the mask and throws it to the side, slipping out of her, he lays on her side with his arm slung around her. She turns to the side, crawls over him and cups his face in her hands. She kisses him, hard. His hands roam her back as she swipes her tongue over his bottom lip, silently asking for more.
She’s always been a kisser during sex, it really killed her to not be able to kiss him during that. It was so hot… it was everything she wanted and now it was her turn to thank him. She pushes his sweaty hair back and hums into his mouth, she kisses the side of his lips and then his jaw over to his ear. “That was everything…”
“I did good?” He asks, fucked out and dropping slowly.
“So, so good, baby,” she praises. “I loved every second of it. You’re so good to me, you always do what I ask for. I love you.”
“I love you,” he whispers back, holding her closer with his big hands cradling her back. She kisses his neck once more and goes to sit up but he wants to cuddle just a little longer. “Stay.”
“Okay,” she rests against him, tucking her head into the crook of his neck. “We’ll clean up when you’re ready.”
He runs his fingers up and down her back, she traces a heart over his chest with her nail and smiles. She’s so relaxed, so tired and so, so happy to be with him. “You’re amazing, Aar-bear.”
“You’re… you’re everything,” he says at a loss for words. “I can’t believe how loud you got?”
She laughs, a little embarrassed, “well, we usually have a kid in the house so I can’t get like that… and if we hit his wall like that at night he’d lose his mind.”
Aaron laughs, “Yeah, I’ve gotta check and see if we chipped the paint…”
“When he goes to college we’ll have to put some foam on the back of the headboard,” she teases. “We can fuck like this all the time next year.”
He lets out a sigh, “Yeah… we definitely need to do more role plays.”
“And you can pick them too, you know?” She says, sitting up to look at him. “Anything you want, we’ll do that next.”
“Right now I just want to have a bath with you and then change the sheets and go to sleep,” he says with a smile.
“Okay,” she agrees. She gets up carefully, a little sore and she’s definitely going to be feeling it tomorrow… she takes the vibe off the bed and finally turns it off, throwing it back into her night table to worry about later. There’s a huge wet spot on the bed where it was. “Did I…”
He smirks, “I think you did… it was hot.”
“Wow,” she’s shocked and amazed.
“You go start the bath, I’ll strip the sheets,” he offers. “Put in whatever you want.”
“Do you want a drink?” She asks. “I brought your scotch up, too.”
“You really are the most perfect woman,” he praises with a smile.
She picks up his mask from the floor, it landed pretty close to where her underwear ended up. She gathers all their clothes and tosses them into the dirty laundry, but his mask… his mask goes into the closet where it will stay until they need it again.
General Taglist
@ncsls0515 @stevesmunsons @reidsbookclub @sweetyyhippyy @manuosorioh @mrs-dr-reid @k-k0129 @squishyturtle @katsukis1wife @buckleyhans @mrs-ssa-hotch
Ghostface Hotch
@hotchsbookshelf @hotchsdoormat @emberfrostlovesloki
#aaron hotchner#aaron hotch hotchner#aaron hotch x reader#aaron hotch x you#hotch smut#hotch x reader#criminal minds smut#criminal minds imagine
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Becoming A Head Turner Personal Notes & Checklist
Being brutally honest with myself and intentions.
Read vintage beautician guides for home spa time. Liquid IV next time it goes on sale. Look up water hydrators.
Create a pdf folder of my makeup palettes, along with saved Pinterest photos of looks from each palette. Print & place in my Pretty Privilege binder!
Accentuate legs - legs measured to 4ft
Buy in sets when possible
Brainstorm what I learned from my bitch aunt.
Commit to my beliefs
Never be desperate for anyone
The more money they have, the more I can’t stand their attitude
Ice queens get respected more + beauty?? You stand out
Detail car, messy car a turn off 🤣 also have emergency travel sized neutral palette, primer, eyeliner, and neosporin in car, nothing I care about getting stolen or broken.
My Desired Visuals
Angelic cuteness, but as sweet as acid
Flowing locks
Fake bronzed legs and skin
Angel goddess: VS Angel, but soft feature with striking cheekbones and rounded body proportions
Intentions
Make myself say WOW and turn heads next!
Bread, head and leave!!
“No” is a foreign word to me
Watch dance videos on YouTube
Reddit
Read through r/men and related subreddits.
r/howtobehot research
r/drag
r/splendida
Food
Mediterranean Diet
Aesthetics to Research
“coconut girl” aesthetic
Latte makeup 🙄 rebranded neutral makeup
That girl
Whatever Colourpop comes up with
Glamour
Phone
Make ringtones of RuPaul’s Step It Up, various Britney Spears songs
Look at Confused Morning’s walks on xhs
Body
Stop by intl store for kojic acid soap - even toned everywhere!! 👍🏾 Ordered on eBay
Go to Target for melanin glow lotion
Try pedi soak I saw on Pinterest with original listerine
Hair
Yaki wig: press, watch body wave videos
Buy lace tint spray from hair store
Talk to hairdresser neighbor, possibly go to her salon
Cranial cap
Gloss my hair and units with Adore dye
Keratin treatment??
Cute hair accessories from AliExpress 👎🏾
Makeup
I can use AE makeup, but I need to prime, protect and base very well since I’m unsure of its origin. 👎🏾
Look for deal on lip liners
Hair store
AliExpress 👎🏾
Essence brand
Phoera
Lipliner and gloss, all the time!
Mom’s foundation shade is my concealer shade 🤣 add red color corrector for warmth
Nail lady also does lashes, lasts 2 weeks
Try cheek look from this picture 👎🏾 too gaunt for my face
Lip crayons
Find dehydrated lip tone in my color
Need shades of concealer that match different shades of face
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Hi Lemon!! 🍋 nice Ask week🍑 right back at ya!
1. Same question as you asked me, when did you join the ls fandom and what made you join?☺️
2. In honor of your Eid fic for the platonic relationships event (which I’m sorry I haven’t gotten the time to finish and give the love it deserves yet since I got home😫) If you could choose one platonic relationship that got more focus in s5 which would you choose and what would be the storyline surrounding it?
3. Since you’re so good at putting silliness and laughs into the fandom, if Tim and Ryan asked you to write an episode (or just some of it) full of crack and shenanigans that includes at least three out of these 5 things: 1) a stubborn pony, 2) a midieval gown 3) a basket full of peaches 🍑🍑 3) a shit-ton of five-spice and 4) an accidentally unsexy sexy playlist, what would roughly transpire?
(You can choose to answer as many of the questions as you want no pressure)
Hope you’re enjoying your weekend!! - Mar🐟🌼
Hi Mar!! Thank you for this very nice 🍑!
1. I’m not really sure, lol! I’ve been watching the show since the first episode. I used to creep on Reddit. But I found myself getting more and more annoyed that all of the important Tarlos scenes kept happening offscreen. And then Push aired and I got super annoyed with them going from TK waking up to moving into the loft with not so much as a conversation. And I remembered someone on Reddit had mentioned that Tim made a snarky comment about how people should go to fanfic if they want resolution for any of his dangling thread stories so I was like okay I guess I’ll check that out… and then at the end of season four I found myself on tumblr!! 😂
2. Marjan and TK!!!!!! I want more Marjan and TK content so bad!!! I want Marjan’s sister to visit and the three of them to go to the Turkish tea house. Maybe an earthquake hits while they’re out, and Marj and TK have to pull a bunch of people to safety and save some folks and they enlist Sahar to help. And at the end of the episode Sahar comes to Catan night and she and Marjan have a lovely talk about how she really sees that Marjan is living the life she’s meant to live and she’s built this beautiful supportive found family and she’s proud of her 🥰
3. Okay, Tarlos spends the weekend at the Reyes ranch. Carlos takes TK horseback riding but he’s worried about putting TK on an actual horse, due to all the head injuries, so he assigns him a pony named Tator. Except Tator is very stubborn and refuses to take left turns!!! So he walks straight into a lake with TK still on his back. Carlos comes to his rescue and TK tries to turn it into a sexy Mr. Darcy in the lake situation. Except Tator is eating his shirt.
Undeterred in his quest for sexiness, when they get dried off TK goes out to the orchards snd comes back with a basket of peaches and a very suggestive look. Carlos gets the hint and they start to get their sexy on but before they can get too far they’re interrupted by Tator, who has broken out of the stables and tramples their sexy peach picnic.
Once Tator is subdued TK sequesters Carlos in the bedroom and puts on a sexy playlist. But instead of Sade and Barry Manilow, they’re blasted with WHAT’S NEW PUSSYCAT WHOoOOoOOooaaaH!!!!!
Meanwhile, Paul is making his famous goat curry for lunch back at the station. Mateo tries to help but he gets distracted by a woman wearing a medieval gown who’s entered the firehouse with a basket of peaches for the handsome fire captain who resuscitated her after she fell off the pole in her pole dancing class. She tries to flirt with Owen, but is mercifully cut off by the bell. The crew races downtown to a spice factory, where there’s been a malfunction and a machine is spewing five spice everywhere. Judd is red faced and crying about his Scotch-Irish constitution. Being the smallest one, Mateo has to climb inside the machine to shut it off.
In the end, everyone is covered in five spice and they spend the whole trip back to the station crying about how they can never eat Chinese food again 😂
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Birthday Prompt: I love my husband too much?! (From a Reddit thread). Happiest of birthdays, thanks for all you do for fandom!
Thanks! I decided to try something different and wrote this as an epistolary with Steve as an advice columnist and Tony as his lovelorn admirer.
October 21, 2018
Hey Steven,
I met someone today. Not to sound like a Hollywood rom-com, but, well, it was like something out of a movie. I was deliberately running late to a budget meeting—I keep hoping that if I’m late to enough of them, my assistant will stop making me go (unlikely since my name is on the building, but a guy can dream, right?). Where was I? Anyway, so I was running late, and I was making myself later by grabbing coffee at this little shop by our offices. And wouldn’t you know it? But I bumped into someone going out at the same time I was going in.
Coffee went everywhere, all over both of us, and as he was apologizing profusely and telling me all about how he’s going to buy me a new shit, he takes a look at the shirt in question and abruptly changes his tune to, “Well, maybe I can afford a button. Two, if I’m lucky.”
And I was so amused that I insisted on buying him another coffee to replace the one that had spilled, and we got to talking, and we both wound up missing our appointments. Turns out that’s why he was in such a hurry too—he had a staff meeting at this news site he works at that he needed to be at.
I’d apologize for making him miss it, but Steven, when I tell you he’s amazing, I mean that he’s incredible. He’s beautiful, like Adonis brought forward in time. He’s kind, and he’s funny, and he’s so, so smart. He couldn’t keep up with me when I started talking engineering—not that many people can—but that didn’t matter because he came at my problem from a whole different angle that I would never, not in a million years, have thought of, and would you look at that, but he solved it for me.
I liked him a lot. I’d even go so far as to say I’m enamored. But, Steven, I messed up. My assistant called me, and I greeted them like I always do—with a bright and cheerful, “Light of my life!” It’s a little inside joke between us, and I didn’t think anything of it since it’s never meant anything to either of us, but when I finally got off the phone with her and got back to our table, it was empty. My Adonis had left. All I had to go on was his name and the news site he works on.
Maybe I’m being creepy, but Steven, I really think we had something special. Do you think I have a chance? Is there even anything I can do? I don’t know how to find him again outside of getting his personal information from his company, and I’ve been told that’s really creepy, and I shouldn’t do it.
Do you have any advice for me?
Love (is that how people sign these things? I’ve never read one of these columns before),
Enchanted to Meet You
Hey Enchanted,
Here’s what you do: tomorrow morning, at 7 am, you go to the coffee shop you met at. I know it’s early, and you said you’re not really a morning person, but trust me on this. I don’t think your Adonis (and I’m pretty sure you’re using the wrong descriptor there; he’s no Adonis) can afford to miss another meeting, so he’ll have to get there earlier than he usually does if you want to meet.
You go to the coffee shop. You order whatever ridiculous monstrous excuse of a coffee you decide to order this time (seriously, you’re so wrong about coffee; it should be drunk black with maybe one sugar to appreciate the flavors). And then you wait.
I promise you that he’ll be there with his phone number this time, so you can call—or text, whatever works for you—him whenever you want. Because he wants you to, I can promise you that too. He really wants to talk to you again.
Good luck,
Steven
P.S. And it’s Steve, by the way. Not Steven.
~
November 20, 2020
Hey Steven,
It’s been a while since the last time I wrote into your column. Last time, I asked for advice on a missed connection. It’s been two years since then, and you’ll be pleased to hear that not only did I find my Adonis again, but that last night, he and I got engaged!
I love him, Steven. I love him so much. I love him more than I’ve ever loved anyone, which scares me because I have a habit of falling too hard and too fast. He and I might have moved pretty slowly, but it wouldn’t be the first time I got burned by someone I fell in love with or even by someone I was engaged to.
But I still love him.
When I wrote in last time, I said he was incredible, and he’s only gotten more incredible since then. I fall more in love with him every day. He’s kind and he’s stubborn and he won’t suffer a bully. He almost got arrested last year for punching some a**hole in a bar who wouldn’t leave me alone. He’s beautiful. I call him my Adonis, but I’m really not exaggerating. He’s like a drop of sunlight given human form, and when he smiles, It could warm the coldest night. And it helps that he’s pretty incredible in bed too ;)
But I’m scared. I’m nearly fifteen years older than him, and I don’t know what he’s doing with me. No one wants to stick around me for long, not unless I’m paying them, so what could someone so young and beautiful ever want with a going grey, washed up old man like me? He’s got his entire life ahead of him. Me? I just had to arrest my business partner for treason, and now I’m being audited because I don’t know how deep his dealings went in the company.
What do I do, Steven? I don’t want to lose him, but I’m terrified he’ll realizes he deserves better. Should I just let him go now?
Love,
I’d Marry You With Paper Rings
Hey Paper Rings,
You say you think you’re not good enough for him, but maybe he doesn’t think he’s good enough for you. Maybe instead of thinking you’re old, he thinks that he’s young, but you’re worldly and experienced. Maybe he thinks your silvering hair is distinguished. Maybe he likes your reading glasses. Maybe they make him so hot, it’s all he can do to stop himself from dragging you off to bed over his shoulder like a caveman. Maybe he thinks you’re the most handsome man he’s ever met.
Maybe he’s glad you proposed because he was so terrified you deserved someone more experienced than him that he was never going to work up the courage to ask.
Go home, Paper Rings. Take the day off and go home and talk to your Adonis. Tell him you’re scared. I’ll be he’s scared too. I bet he wants to talk to you about how scared he is. But the important thing is to talk to him. Nothing will change if you just stay silent about how you’re feeling.
Good luck,
Steven
~
July 26, 2021
Hey Steven,
Well, I did it. I f*cked it all up. I talked to my Adonins last year, like you said, and we were good back then. But then I got all in my head about it. I’ve been putting off wedding planning for months anow, and he finally snapped.
He yelled at me last night—and I deserved it—and I don’t know. I don’t know if I didn’t say what he wanted to hear or if I didn’t say enough of it or if he just didn’t believe me. But he left, steven. He left, and he didn’t come back last night. His friends say he’s fine, but he won’t answer my calls or tell me if he’s coming home.
I think he’s gone for good.
I love him, Steven. I can’t lose him. I’ll do better this time around. I’ll talk to him. I’ll go to every suit fitting, every cake testing, every flower smelling. I’ll marry him tomorrow if he wants me to. Just—I can’t lose him. I love him too much.
Love,
Stay, Stay, Stay
Hey Stay,
Go home tonight. Go home at a reasonable hour, even if you have to use your AI to remind you (thought I’m sure it would mean more to him if you remembered on your own). Cook his favorite meal—that spaghetti you gave him on your first date with the meatballs from that recipe your mom gave you that she got from her Nona. Go to his friend Sam’s house. Give him the dinner and then try not to drop it when he kisses you. Talk to him again. I’m sure he’d marry you tomorrow if you wanted that too, but he doesn’t want to rush because he loves you too much to rush this. Tell him you love him. He loves you too.
Good luck,
Steven
~
November 2, 2022
Hey Steven,
I think I love my husband too much. Yes, that’s right; after four years, my Adonis is now my newlywedded husband. We’re on our honeymoon right now—a gorgeous seaside house in Greece—and he’s sleeping beside me, the early morning sunlight turning his bare skin gold—he’s turning me into a poet, and all I could think about was how much I love him and what I would do for him.
I would kill for him.
I would conquer nations for him.
I would tear the universe apart for him.
I would give every penny I have away if he asked me to.
I would buy him every giant stuffie in the world. Nothing says love like a giant bunny, right?
But I’m getting off topic. The point is—I love him. I adore him. I can’t imagine my life without him.
I love him.
I love you.
Love,
You’re My Lover
Hey Lover,
Next time you feel like waxing poetic about me, why don’t you wake me up and tell me to my face instead of writing to my advice column?
Love,
Steven
P.S. I love you too.
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Tomgreg Fics That Will Induce Catharsis*
*(not guaranteed, but these are so fucking good!)
[heed the trigger warnings]
Beaks Bloody [M]
Greg is, well — not great, seeing as though he’s pretty sure that he, you know, just murdered his great-uncle Logan at the guy’s own birthday party. Benoit Blanc is on the case.
In Loving Memory [M]
Siobhan falls down the stairs and breaks her neck. Her spirit never leaves the house.
Suddenly, Flames Everywhere [T]
He’s Tom Wambsgans, from St. Paul, Minnesota. Broad-shouldered, sharply-dressed, rising miles and miles above his station.
That’s who he is. It doesn’t matter who he began as. He's not the same Tom anymore.
From the series: The Sad Tom Wambsgans Cinematic Universe
Invidious [T]
Bernard smiles wider, a particular sort of sweet edge to it while he offers the cup – is that lipgloss? “I also got you a latte –”
Greg reaches out and blocks the path of the cup, then blinks at his own hand in some shock. “Uh... Oat milk.”
Bernard blinks and looks to Greg, mouth pinching, “Sorry, Mr Hirsch? I didn’t – ?”
“Tom drinks oat milk.”
AITA for accusing my father of multiple crimes on his own news station? [T]
Reddit's view of Kendall Roy over the years.
Sonny Liston Rubbed Some Tiger Balm Into His Glove (Some Things You Do For Money And Some You Do For Love, Love, Love) [G]
“Let me get this straight.” Tom breathed, and he was so close that Greg could feel it tickle his chin. “You ... killed Roman?”
Hangdog Eyes [E]
[Image description: TMZ webpage, headline reads - Succession Split! Insiders say more than artistic differences! Underneath is an old photograph of Kendall and Stewy at a party, with a jagged tear between them as if the photograph has been ripped.]
[Image description: Tweet from @gregjhirsch - do you need to wear sunscreen in Florida in winter? Asking for a friend]
Through The Glass Walls Of The Throne Room [T]
Reaching the top of the mountain affords Greg a privileged perspective. Next to all these riches, the loss of something as small as a soul seems inconsequential.
Blue Light [E]
When Roman makes an off-hand joke about Tom being in love with Greg over dinner, the fallout changes everything.
Daddy’s Little Deadstick Dynasty [T]
The Roy family jet never makes it to São Paulo.
Beyond The Hairpin Turn [E]
You reach across the boardroom table and cover his beautiful hand with your own. Pure instinct. His hand twitches, and he gives a little gasp. Oh, delightful. How you’d love to make this boy gasp in other ways, in other places…
“You have such soft hands,” you whisper.
“Very touching,” comes the voice from the speaker. “But this isn’t speed dating, this is work orientation.
Fair is Foul and Foul Is Fair [M]
Tom finds several things out about Greg's new relationship.
I Needed You There, But I Didn't Know [NR]
When he was younger, he used to do this thing where he’d have one-sided conversations with his father in his head. Before he’d go to sleep, he’d update him on what he’d missed, casually, as if it’d been minutes since they last talked instead of years. If he were religious, he could’ve compared it to praying.
Final Greg [G]
If Waystar Royco was a horror movie, then, well, Greg knows he wouldn’t be the final girl. But he thinks it would be pretty subversive if he was.
The Many Fantasizations and Nightmares of Tom Wambsgans and Greg Hirsch [E]
What if, on the night of Tom's wedding, things had played out differently?
Sunday Massacre [E]
The Gang Faces Eternal Damnation.
From the series: I'm Supposed To Die Tonight
#tomgreg#succession#tom wambsgans#cousin greg#succession hbo#tom/greg#fic recs#fic rec lists#rec list#these are really good check them out#fanfiction#ao3
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July 19, 2023
I can't seem to understand people who say that they get bored. Like, what does that even mean to be bored? When there are so many things to do, so many things to read, so many things, endless things, to watch, so many skills to learn and you're bored? You're telling me your mind doesn't run on overdrive every time you have a free second, just trying to line up one of several dozen things on your list of things you want to do, want to try, want to see, each of those items pushing and shoving and vying for the attention of your brain's fleeting glances? "Just call me when your bored," he said, clearly not knowing me at all if he thought I even had the capacity to reach a state of boredom. "Nina, I'm bored," she said, thinking erroneously that I could empathize when I can barely even imagine the feeling. Perhaps it's the introversion, perhaps it's the anxiety, perhaps it's one of any other of the afflictions, but I just can't seem to crack what it means to be bored. I'm not sure if it's better this way.
I am trying to break my phone habit. The issue, which I’m sure many people have identified, is that tiktok and reddit and little mindless games are both entertaining and, well, mindless. But they can ultimately be huge timesucks when I could be doing something more interesting that’s still somewhat restful. Sewing is okay as a substitute but I can’t do it everywhere, I can’t reach into my pocket and pull out my machine and it would certainly be awkward to try to carry it around. Handsewing is a bit of a solution, but I’m rarely working on a big handsewing project (same with crochet). So. I’m trying to get back into reading. Mostly with one-off scifi/fantasy stories, and I want to finish one or two nonfictions this summer too. Reading, for me, is a easy hobby to drop and a difficult one to pick back up because there are so many other things that can pull at my attention and take less effort. I’m really proud of college-junior-Nina who committed to reading during meals for a year. Maybe I could give that a go again, at least. Try to make a dent in my Goodreads virtual pile.
One unexpected positive of the mini twists is that they're giving me the opportunity to try styles I typically don't. Like, over the past few days, I've taught myself how to cornrow, and they actually look pretty good!!
I had a beautiful dream last night. It was me out to dinner with mostly people I didn't know, and one person who I did know (but I only knew them in the dream-iverse, I have no idea whose face that was). The other people all knew each other. It was a new place. Everyone was making an effort to include me. I felt safe. I felt wanted. I don't often remember my dreams. But this one felt really comforting.
Today I'm thankful that I don't have to take a full undergrad courseload on top of PhD duties. I'm taking a partial load (which, this fall, includes retaking anatomy lol (but thankfully not gross anatomy because I still haven't been able to stomach that idea)) plus a reading section with my advisor to get caught up on literature/techniques. I wouldn't be surprised if my first few weeks this fall are busier than my first few weeks as a freshman four years ago.
Also, I found out that the two faculty members I met during my department tour weekend were my advisors "mentors" when he joined the department. That.. explains some things haha
Teaching is still generally going well! Halfway through!!
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OMG pls i just thought of this skbdjdhd
what if one day tiger is just really down in the gutter, feels terrible about how she looks or how things are looming on her and she’s just being really distant, and after some coaxing bill finally gets her to spill the beans. she’s talking just terrible about herself because that’s how she’s feeling rn. and good ole bill
“what what you say, that’s my girl you’re talking about” DHDHDJDP I CANT - new anon
Anonymous asked:
Is Tiger insecure or jealous over all the many women Bill had to kiss and simulate sex with?
Ohhhh how I love these thoughts. I think these are two birds of a feather.
Like any normal human being, I think tiger sometimes gets intimidated by Bill's world. The opulence of it. The beauty of it. The beauty of the people in it. The people who make it in Hollywood do so because they have faces and bodies that looks extraordinary on camera, compared to a normal girl like tiger who can barely stand to hear the sound of her own voice.
It's a lot, for any normal human. But when Bill has a big movie coming out, or say--a long series--it kind of gets worse for tiger.
Especially something like Clark, that has a lot of sex scenes.
Tiger's insecurities kind of go off the rails, when that happens. And the worst part is, she keeps it to herself--because she doesn't want to make this about her. This is Bill's project, something he's worked so hard on, and she's incredibly proud of him. He's beaming at her when they watch it together, looking for her approval, and she doesn't want to do anything or say anything that would take away from his moment. He's worked so hard on this, she had a front row seat to the top this role took on him, and the end product is fantastic. He's proud of it, too. He talks her ear off about it, constantly asks her what she thinks, he wants her full honest opinion on it.
And you know what? It's great. Bill is incredible. This is one of his best performances to date, he poured his whole heart and soul into it, and she really is proud.
So she shoves her own monsters back in that dark, deep closet and tries to ignore them.
But the series is a hit, and Bill is being praised across the globe. Cult-like followings are developing everywhere including on shit like reddit, one of tiger's favourite sites, and suddenly nothing feels safe anymore. Everywhere she looks, there are pictures and gifs of him in the series, and tiger's anxiety goes tenfold when it's time for the red carpet. She eschews the premiere--it's far away and she can't get the time off work--he understands, it happens sometimes. So he goes alone, but now tiger is also being flooded with photos of him and his beautiful, perfect co-stars that he has about a million buck naked sex scenes with.
It's a lot.
By the time Bill gets back, tiger has basically shut down. It takes him awhile to realize because he's on cloud nine, he's still so pumped and so proud of his work and she’s so proud of him, but it’s just...it’s a lot.
And like always, the first thing she does is shirk his affection once he gets back under the guise of like...she just doesn’t feel well. Except by now, Bill knows. This is always tiger’s first move when she’s being really down on herself, to always just kind of avoid any physical contact with him. But Bill also knows that in that moment, maybe it’s better not to press it. He will find a better time.
And it turns out he doesn’t have to wait too long, once they eat and he talks to her excitedly about everything that happened. Maybe she starts to clean up and Bill just sneaks off, runs a bubble bath. And he comes to get her, with those big puppy dog eyes of his, and he just gently leans his forehead on hers.
“Please?” he mumbles, “I missed you, kid.”
And listen, tiger is dealing with some issues but a candlelit bubble bath, with her Big Dude squeezed in behind her? She’s not made of stone. So she lets him drag her to the bathroom, but she undresses quickly and sinks into the bubbles when he goes to get two glasses of whisky.
He sighs, but he squeezes in behind her anyway. And Bill is a real patient man, he’s become very comfortable in silence, so he just quietly holds her for a few long minutes. Just holds her pressed into his chest, his nose in her hair, breathing rhythmically.
“Talk to me?” he whispers in her ear.
And tiger, to her credit, she’s getting better. Maybe this is something that she’s been working on in therapy, and--I LOVE THIS THOUGHT--maybe she was even vulnerable enough and strong enough to invite Bill to a few therapy sessions with her, so he could learn how to love her a little louder in times like these. How to help her break out of it. She’s getting better at being honest about it.
“I don’t feel good, about....me,” she says quietly.
Bill stays silent.
“You’re forever surrounded by perfect looking women bud,” she continues after a long moment, “Sometimes I can rationalize it, and sometimes I can't.”
“And this week was one of the weeks where you couldn’t?” he asks.
“Exactly,” she sighs, “You were....you are amazing, Bill. The whole series. You’re incredible. But it’s uh, it’s a lot of sex. With a lot of perfect women who look nothing like me.”
“What’s our rule about using the word perfect, kid?” he reminds her gently. This was something that was brought up in her therapy sessions, and tiger’s constant need to strive for it--perfection. She needs to be reminded that perfect is a fucking myth.
“Not to,” she grumbles.
“Why?”
“Because nothing--nobody--is perfect.”
“Good,” he kisses the shell of her ear softly, “What else is bugging you?”
Tiger’s quiet for a moment.
“It bugs me that those women are considered beautiful, and they look nothing like me,” she continues, “So then by default, if that’s beautiful, and I’m not that, then...”
She trails off.
“Choose your next words carefully,” he says in warning, “That’s my girl you’re talking about.
Tiger just sighs, and Bill hugs her closer.
“Tiger, the women I work with--their entire careers are based off of the way they look, first and foremost. The same goes for me. If I didn’t have a googly face that lent well to cameras, I wouldn’t be able to find work,” he explains, “They make millions because they look good, and they use those millions to continue to look good.”
“I know that,” she grumbles, “Somewhere deep down.”
“You know what’s beautiful to me, kid?” he asks, “The way you always leave me a plate of food in the microwave, when I come home late. The way you instinctively cuddle in closer to me in your sleep, when I put my arm around you. The way your lips tilt up and your whole face lights up when you smile that special way, that’s just for me. The way you give yourself to me time and time again, and the amount of trust you have in me to keep you safe. The way you look when you first wake up, all sleepy and the moment your eyes open, you’re smiling at me. And this freckle, right....” he presses his lips gently to the back of her shoulder, “Here. I love this freckle. All of that is beautiful kid. All of that is perfect.”
“But it’s not the--”
“You’re goddamn right it’s not the same,” he interrupts, “Because nobody is paying me millions to be here, right now, with you. And there’s nowhere else I’d rather be. That’s what matters. This isn’t work, it’s real. And it’s you, kid.”
She sighs.
“Somewhere deep down I know that too,” she says softly.
“But I’ll keep telling you, just in case,” he murmurs into her hair, “I love you, kid.”
#BFF!Bill#bill skarsgard#bill skarsgard drabble#bill skarsgard fanfiction#bill skarsgard fanfic#bill skarsgard fiction#bill skarsgard fic
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"You look somehow sad." [24- 25.10.2023]
Proper university starting and I am back in my university mood. I swear I try to be nice and smiley and happy but I kind of can't keep that facade up on university anymore. I just know I won't make any long- lasting friends there and I feel like I have no energy to make an effort to be fun, when I don't get anything out of it, how stupid that may sound. At my old uni, I was kind of always in a bubbly mood, because I got along sooo well with my colleagues and we always laughed and had a good time together, so being bubbly just came easily. In a boring environment, I feel like I don't wanna exhaust myself trying to be in a good mood if it's not gonna lead anywhere.
Also, though, I was also just sad. Sad about what's going on in the world and mad at some of my friends for not replying me or putting in effort, mad at the whole world for being so hostile and violent and cold. Weltschmerz.
So, I went about my day as usual, forcing myself to pay attention instead of picking up my phone and succeeding partially, saying "hi" to my colleagues and avoiding any further contact after that.
In the second lecture, I sat next to B, did basic small talk and waited for the lecture to begin so I wouldn't have to do basic small talk anymore. Then B just said "You look somehow sad." He was absolutely right.
Instead of using this opportunity to open up, I literally said "I'm just tired, I didn't sleep too well last night, blah, blah, blah". Really weak of me. But I can't talk with these people who I know will never be more than acquainces to me. With them, I feel like I somehow have to put up the facade of happy, successful, perfect Holly all of the time. I feel like I'm in a competition with them automatically as soon as we are close to each other. I don't know if I should have tried to open up more.
On the way home, I decided I would have a cheat evening that day, because I was feeling so down. I went to the store and bought a few sweets and pastries, too much for one evening as always and fucked off to my room. I closed my social media apps and put all the food I wanted to eat in my room. I didn't want to talk or listen to anybody.
At home, I finished my two paintings. I am happy with the result as it's still one of the first times I'm drawing with acryl colors, but the pictures really aren't amazing. I only realized in the last 5% of drawing that I completely messed up the size of their faces. I posted them after some unprofessional editing on my phone.
The rest of the evening I spent rotting on my couch, stuffing myself with food well after I was full, watched random documentaries on my laptop while iterating between masturbating to porn on my phone, running small errands and scrolling reddit. Cheat days really always sound better than they actually are.
The next day, I met up with H and really, I had low motivation to see him again. I even thought about making this the last time I meet with him, because I just felt that because of the language barrier, it's so difficult to communicate with him and we don't really have a lot of common beyond that either. I felt like he was one of the people I kept stupidly meeting with out of politeness.
This sensation completely vanished as soon as I saw him. We went grocery shopping and started cooking while updating us on each other's lives. I felt once again so sorry for how much homophobia he has to endure at his school and everywhere. But, I also felt proud. Whenever I meet H, I have this sensation of progress, like he's never the same person I met the last time, he's always a bit wiser, better, more awake, more confident, cooler. Maybe because he's transitioning, he gives off that sensation.
Sometime before we ate in his really beautiful room, we talked about what is happening in the world, for just a brief moment. I told him that I don't wanna hear about any of it anymore in my life because I feel it's getting too much. And then we até and watched music videos on his TV and ate more and played cards and danced to Techno and started watching a drag show and for the first time since it happened, I felt like I could enjoy something with somebody in peace again. We were both worried about what's happening and we both felt bad about it, but we also knew we couldn't change anything and tried to enjoy our lives here. I felt truly okay with having a good time again for the first time. Because I wasn't deliberately pushing away any thought about it with force anymore, but I accepted it as part of his and my life reality now. We can still enjoy, even after we mourn.
#d8#diary#uni#university#friends#friend#friendship#political stress#drag#ru paul's drag race#sad#gaza#israel
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10.18.23
Today O turned 13 weeks old. He’ll officially be 3 months tomorrow. That is also J’s second birthday. I think I’ll have the girls do a little video and send it to L. She texted me one of the iPhone memory videos of M, when she was a toddler. She seems so big now, looking back.
I’m feeling so out of touch right now. I’m tired and frustrated from feeling like I have to do everything with such little help. It’s easy and hard all at once. In the moment, I can become so exasperated and flustered. Then later I think “wow I can’t believe you got so worked up over that!” I’m trying so hard to be a good mom and I get angry with myself for falling short. S is helpful, as far as husband’s go. But, realistically, he’ll never know how insane this whole experience has been for me.
Becoming a mother has been so intense. So much of the time I feel like I have whiplash. I’ll sit and look at my beautiful children and think “wow we actually have three kids! That happened so quick!” It doesn’t feel that long ago that we were riding our bikes up to the bar together, playing pool and getting totally drunk off of cheap pitchers of beer. Best friends in boozing. I know it probably isn’t a good thing we used to drink so much, but I can’t say I have bad memories from that time. We had so much fun together and out with friends. It feels like it was yesterday, not years ago.
But that time is also riddled with so much loss and sadness. At times, I can’t even begin to process losing my parents. I get frustrated with myself for ruminating on the same shit over and over again. When will the book feel closed? When can I move on?
I think I need to stop looking at Reddit. It would probably also help to not read about celebrities lives. How completely ridiculous. But, to my credit, I did read that we find celebrity lifestyle information so enthralling because we are a social species and, like apes, we feel drawn to knowing about others in our pack. It is imperative for survival to befriend others and to know members’ qualities and characters. We don’t actually know celebrities and never will, but because they are “everywhere” we feel drawn to knowing more.
Anyway, all this to say I’m almost done with Jessica Simpson’s memoir. Having read Pamela Anderson’s and now hers, I have to say they are both complex, empathic, and kind women. It’s awful to know they were treated so badly and thought of so negatively. I made my own shallow assumptions. At the end of the day, all people are people. No one is immune to life’s struggles and pains.
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Getting Advice From Forest Service Experts You can Use
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If you're actually serious about taking good care regarding your trees, is actually important that an individual get the best services that will assist to keep them inside pristine health issue for a lengthy period of your time. Specialized tree care companies don't only help to make sure that the trees are healthful but in reality help in making your trees and shrubs look beautiful.
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Receiving Advice From Shrub Service Experts You can Use
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Trees and shrubs can be discovered almost everywhere. That they serve an extremely important purpose about our planet simply because they provide us with food, flowers, building materials, and the particular herbal medicines that we use on a daily basis. Even though it seems like trees and shrubs might survive on their own, they need help from people occasionally so that they can stay in very good condition. In the event that you have trees and shrubs at home that are in need of professional handling, it can best to get some sort of tree service.
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Specialist Tree Service -- Ensuring Health plus Safety of the Trees
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Getting Advice From Tree Service Experts That You Can Use
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You should see to it that your trees are pruned frequently so that that they can resist different types of diseases. A qualified company will offer you advice in the right cutting plan for the trees. An individual have to see to it that when you're pruning your trees, a person don't cut their branches excessively mainly because this will result to damage on the trees instead regarding making them healthier.
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Receiving Advice From Woods Service Experts That you may Use
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boyfriend jumin headcanons
theres no way hes been in a relationship before, never even kissed someone before. you best believe hes going to go all in hes so starved for love
he needs to hear every single thing about your life, even the littlest things. he will remember it all, and asks so many questions too. could listen to you talk for hours and never get bored. your life is so different from his, he finds it fascinating. always wants to know more.
at the beginning of the relationship he has an extremely hard time controlling himself and finding whats right and wrong in a romantic relationship. you have to be very open with your boundaries or he’ll treat you like a doll, he cant help himself hes just so enamored.
does SO much research on relationships, he doesnt like the advice he finds but hes looking in all the wrong places. seven gives him links for real advice from real people reddit instead of mens magazines because those all suck. jumin starts to ask him for help whenever hes curious about something and seven will find a link for him to read. it helps bridge their relationship a bit more. seven is one of those friends thats amazing at relationship advice but for some reason desperately single.
even though he’s new to relationships and still trying to figure it out, that does not mean hes bad at it. no sir. this man was raised on romantic novels and cheesy soap operas. he knows his way into your heart easy peasy
the most beautiful arrangements of flowers delivered to your doorstep, your favorite foods from the most gourmet restaurants in seoul sent right to your work, hand written love letters sealed in wax sent to you while he’s away on business. declares his undying love for you over the phone almost daily.
hes never been around women much before, rikas the exception but he wasnt around around her like you would be with a lover. so hes interested finding out about your habits, routines, likes. the way you cook breakfast in the morning, the way you do your bedtime routine, your afterwork routine. always finding something new to love about you every new day.
he really adores anything and everything you think is a flaw. he prefers you with your quirks rather than aiming for perfection. theres nothing wrong with being “plastic” but the majority of those types of women he’s been around are the rich snobby type more than every day women. he prefers you. again hes never been close to many women so its kind of amazing but sad the things you can find to think harshly about. things he absolutely would never imagine someone being insecure about in the first place. he loves this body, it makes him upset when youre so critical to it.
he’ll explain to you what goes on behind the scenes of corporations and how exactly they make you insecure about those odd little things just to profit off of it, theres nothing wrong with you to begin with but if you believed that then they would be out of business, you see. knowing that aspect of things is why hes understanding but still saddened by your insecurities.
hes a very possessive man and is unashamed about it. hes never had anything as important as you to protect before so he doesnt care how ridiculous he may be sometimes, as long as youre safe. body guards, frequent calls, locations on, always wanting to be with you if he can. if that all bothers you i feel like that would be a bit of a disagreement area. his personality is naturally possessive and he does it out of love so bear with him please. he would definitely tone down as time progressed but for now he doesn’t want to let you out of his sight. trusts you, not other people.
he likes to observe you a lot, your day to day. it’s interesting to him even though it can be a little annoying to you sometimes. asks questions constantly. hes so curious. jumin let me go to the bathroom in peace hes literally a child
it makes him so happy when you laugh at his jokes. everyone else thinks they’re not funny but he doesnt care, as long as you laugh hes happy.
if you wear make-up it’s literally amazing for him to watch. he’ll stand in the bathroom and just observe. you can GLUE eyelashes to your FACE?! and its common?! this is so shocking to him. he had no clue. its kind of embarrassing for you but hes just so interested. never watched someone put on makeup before. the process is so intricate and careful, hes so fascinated by this strange magic. youre so smart too, he doesnt know any of the names of the things you use but always asks so he can remember for gift giving purposes. shades you like, shades you dont like, companies you dont buy from, your favorite brands. somehow has a giant mental notepad and writes all this down for safe keeping
speaking of smart he thinks you are the smartest person on the face of this earth. hes so confused at certain aspects of life and you help him get it. why do people eat fried chicken when its not nutritionally dense or even healthy to consume? it doesn’t make sense. because its yummy, jumin. wow, youre so right...
always texts you little reminders throughout the day to show his love. dont forget to eat breakfast dear. dont forget to wear sunscreen before you go out love, its hot today. dont forget that i love you so much my darling ♥︎ SO CUTE hes so caring
this man is so so touch starved, he always wants to hold you or touch you in someway. if he could bring you everywhere with him he would. he starts to get anxious if he goes too long without your comfort, truly doesn’t know how he made it for so long without it
not the biggest fan of pda but it depends on the situation. he likes making others jealous but he doesn’t want anyone else to see the way you look after he kisses you in that one special way that only he can. thats for his eyes only
loves showering you in anything you desire. you are spoiled. he’d buy you a whole ass island if you wanted one. he never understood how his father could just give away so much to a woman but now he cannot say a THING. he’d go completely broke as long as it made you happy
if you dont like tons of store bought gifts he’ll spend more time on meaningful ones. picking you flowers from the rooftop garden and arranging them himself, he embroiders as a pastime so he’ll make you cute little cat decals and stuff like that
he likes to do things for you like paint your nails, wash your hair, put lotion on you after a bath etc. loves it so much, if youre not comfortable with him babying you its totally fine but if you are he’ll do it whenever you let him
he has very cold hands. never really thought about them until he met you, really hopes you dont mind. tries to warm his hands up where he can before he touches you, but secretly loves when he runs his cold fingertips down your skin and you get gooseflesh all over. thinks its cute.
gets insecure sometimes. not really about his looks, but his personality. luciel is funny, zen is handsome and suave. yoosung is sweet and open with his emotions. he wonders frequently why you chose him out of anyone else.
all in all jumin is someone you need to get used to being in a relationship with, hes not the average joe and has a lot going on with himself that he needs to work through. but if you help him, love him for him, he’ll be the sweetest lover you could ever ask for.
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