no but listen, rachel has truly embodied herself as persephone because she's constantly trying to "distance herself" from her past as a medical fetish artist but then keeps the name that's affiliated with her medical fetish art-
Like, I can't believe I never noticed it before tbh, but that was the thought that hit me while I was explaining to someone on reddit what the name "used bandaid" meant and why it was weird that Rachel is STILL using it on her print cover books, even now when she just recently set up a new Facebook account with her REAL NAME and not the used_bandaid penname (I feel like this is an attempt to "legitimize" herself in the industry but idk).
But that leads me into talking about how she keeps lying about LO being her first webcomic project and that really pisses me off. And yes, this is related to the used_bandaid thing, just bear with me here.
A lot of my contempt for this is for reasons that go beyond her, I just hate the notion that people should succeed on their "first try" and that's an idea that's often sold by people like Rachel who spin these grandiose stories of how they were just "trying it out" and suddenly wham! Fame and fortune! You can achieve all this and more if you just xyz!
Literally, in every interview I've found over the past couple years, she always heavily implies that LO was her "first attempt", that she had never used Webtoons prior to LO, and that she was just "dipping her toes" into the medium. None of this is true, she's literally been drawing webcomics since the early 2000's (possibly earlier but the earliest documentation we can find is of The Doctor Pepper Show), LO wasn't even her first webcomic on the Webtoons platform (that goes to The Doctor Foxglove Show which she ended up dumping a chapter in to work on LO almost immediately after starting it on Tumblr) and as much as she'll claim she "couldn't pay anyone to look at her work", she had landed a number of gigs that got her work out there, had been printed in anthology collections, and IIRC she had even won some small local NZ awards for her comics prior to LO. Shit, there was a local beer brand that had her art on its labelling.
But it really feels like she's trying her damn hardest to hide all that, never mentioning or implying that she did anything prior to LO, that she was just a "struggling graphic artist working in retail" until LO happened.
So why keep the penname that's directly affiliated with that past identity ??
It boggles my mind, honestly, especially considering she had gone by MULTIPLE usernames back then, some of which were actually pretty sane that she could have used instead (such as Rach Alex, which she uses in her FB groups, and Rachel Royale).
I wouldn't blame her if she was trying to hide her old medical fetish stuff, whether she didn't want it affiliated with her new LO branding or if she's just embarrassed by it, I can totally empathize with that because god knows I wouldn't be all that proud to show off the cringy shit I got up to during my early days on the Internet. But if she IS embarrassed by it, you'd think the last thing she'd want to keep is the name that's directly affiliated with the thing she's embarrassed by. Almost like a certain pink protagonist who goes by the name she earned after doing the thing she doesn't want to talk about.
But if she ISN'T embarrassed by it, then why lie?
Why paint this picture that LO was a one hit wonder, that she lived on "struggle street" until she found fame and fortune on Webtoons?
Oh right. Because it's a better story.
Because it's way more romantic to be some struggling indie darling who "came from nothing" and achieved fame through one big idea. Because it looks good for the platform who's trying to attract people to their app and website on the promise that you, too, can be a success story simply because you followed the exact same perceived steps that you saw another person follow and advertise.
If you can't tell from my tone, I really fucking hate this kind of disingenuous wish fulfillment advertising. It's manipulative, it's cruel, and it sets people up with expectations far beyond their scope of reaching, both due to the luck and "being in the right place at the right time" involved at best (which is a HUGE factor in stories like these that people never talk about), or through joy-killing comparison at worst when you don't achieve worldwide fame on your first try and wonder why everyone else did (spoiler: they didn't, they just want you to think that because it makes for better headlines and it gets you using whatever product they're affiliated with.)
If Rachel doesn't want to be tied down to her past, that's fine. But it's incredibly irresponsible and flat out cruel to lie about that past existing at all because it sets a horrible precedent to those who look up to her and want what she has.
And I say all that because I've seen what happens to the people starting out who admire these creators who painted the picture that they were just successful right off the bat. It's not a fun headspace to be in, it's robbed many creators like myself and others of their joy in creating, and it's really all just a ploy to get you to spend time and money and energy on a stupid corporate phone app that profits off your emotional investment and labor. Don't fall for it. Pretending like the Act of Wrath didn't happen doesn't remove it from history.
Anyways, I was gonna leave it at that, but then I ended up doing another rabbithole deep dive through her Wayback Machine and found album art she had illustrated for NZ band PorcelainToy. Enjoy this piece of her "dark era" art that still exists without needing to use the Wayback Machine.
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I visted Père Lachaise with @robespapier and in addition to Duplays, we also visited Tallien:
And oh, look! Some deluded weirdo left him a present:
Look at it:
It is a Kinder surprise toy. It's from Paw Patrol movie, and apparently this dog is a garbage man and the only mutt in the cast. How fitting.
Some people just like flops. How embarrassing.
In other news, there seems to be something strange about Tallien's grave. It was lost (?) and then found in early 20th century? I will need to investigate (please let us know if you have more info!)
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while listening to kas talk to me about their ahri portrayal, they inspired me to elaborate a lil' more on her ritualisms; therein, the manner in which she ornaments her cadavers post-feeding. i've spoken on this meta a million and two times in the past, as it's been an integral part of her character for almost as long as i've written her ━━━━ and a shard of my portrayal that i hold very dear. so, i won't ramble too much about that!
but i did want to touch on the very purposeful reasoning behind ahri performing this act & the variations she has in it.
as a devotee to the all mother, and keeper of her design, the fox finds profound meaning in every blade of dewy grass and whistle of the wind between tree boughs, and the rot of death gently sheathed in blankets of moss and soil. there is symbolism spun like intertwining threads amongst every facet of nature; no matter how small & insignificant or forthright & proud. it all has a purpose, something to speak into the world around it. this is why she guards her domain so fiercely, in protection of what is inherently good and giving without fault.
「 the forest of the one - thousand faced fox is where nature sprawls unto to thrive, and where lost souls go to find beastly penance. 」
this is also why the kkoch-ui janglyesig, or ❛ funeral of flowers ❜ ritual is also a tribute to the soul it's vessel once contained. in respecting the feminine entity that is the forest, ahri must respect the souls that wander beyond the boundaries of her realm ━━━━ that is, if she deems them so fit to guide gently and with honor into the spirit realm. after all, there are many instances of those who taste of ash & rot that challenge the fox in her own arena whom far from deserve a garland of flowers but rather the maw of hungry wolves.
all this is to say that ahri is keenly aware of the meaning bestowed upon particular flora, and takes note of this whilst adorning her prey in moss and flowers. knowing this, ahri makes an effort to impart these meanings onto those who pass in her forest. ( the particular flowers needed are not always readily available, but nonetheless she makes an effort in the name of sanctification ).
although ahri would never harm a child, it is a sorrowful fact in a war-ridden world that she must guide their souls beyond the natural realm and into the spiritual, at times. in this case, ahri delicately blankets them in nature and bestows upon them 𝐖𝐇𝐈𝐓𝐄 𝐋𝐈𝐋𝐈𝐄𝐒 & 𝐋𝐈𝐋𝐈𝐄𝐒 𝐎𝐅 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐕𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐄𝐘.
they represent innocence and purity, as does the soul of a child; deserving only of safe passage into the warmth of the spirits beyond. if their soul should linger, perhaps forlornly shackled to the corporeal plane still, ahri will not consume it but delicately pull it from where it remains and dip it back into the all-encompassing, ethereal ocean of souls where it may find peace. after all, this is as simple a task as drawing her foxes fire from the intangible.
the most frequent of unwelcome visitors are lost travelers and merchants seeking out a lesser walked shortcut on their journey. as if tying the knot of their own fate, ahri then deems them fair hunt for their intrusive presence. these are the souls she will consume with minor remorse ━━━━ though that's not to say it's without none, as ahri has a deep-rooted appreciation for human nature and human emotion, and the short bursts of life they carry. under normal circumstances, the fox does not desecrate her prey without reason.
therefore, once the hunt is over, she will impart on them 𝐁𝐔𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐂𝐔𝐏𝐒 & 𝐖𝐈𝐋𝐃𝐅𝐋𝐎𝐖𝐄𝐑𝐒.
representing invasiveness, they are the most straight-forward form of symbolism when used; it is also most common to find her corpses embedded with this particular brand of flora, and the one she's become most known for in the surrounding areas and towns that have likened her to a dangerous mythos.
now, it's rare for ahri to even consider bestowing those she would tear to ribbons without a second thought with her ritual. but in very rare instances, she might. this is particularly true for souls she may feel are wrong and corrupt, but perhaps simply had a bad draw in life or their hand was forced. this opinion is typically formed post-feeding, as their memories and experiences and emotions crawl through-out the crevices of her mind. ahri is not without complex nuance in these situations; she is capable of benevolence in the face of rotten souls. it is simply ... infrequent.
for these, if ahri should bother looking for them, 𝐀𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐈𝐓𝐄 & 𝐁𝐔𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐅𝐋𝐘 𝐖𝐄𝐄𝐃 are used. the former, though can be equated to the first blush of spring and rebirth, is also highly toxic despite this. it is a reminder that there can be grim darkness in the once clean human soul. the latter is known to symbolize rejection, or serve as warning to others to stay away; it is without subtlety that ahri uses this in bushels.
of course, an abundance of other flora and foliage is utilized in her rituals as the end purpose is to relinquish their physical forms to the omikayalan⁰¹, but there are consistencies between particular souls. the flowering ritual is something ahri holds dear to her heart and is not only a form of metaphorical prayer but a means of returning what once was to where it came from, preserving the natural circle of life.
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Title spoiler if you're avoiding Root of Nightmare info
Oh my god which nerd at bungie is a horror movie fan? It can't be coincidence that the title is Dream Warrior
That's the 3rd Nightmare on Elm Street movie
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