it's hot where i live and it has me thinking about beach days with young! art and patrick. specifically annoying friend! patrick. imagine going to the beach with them. them picking you up and their reactions to your bikini. barley covered up by the crocheted top you had on. peaking through is your white bikini top that shows off your chest more than they've seen before. patrick unashamedly checking out your ass as you bend over to throw your bag in. i just know art would be so flustered. his face flushed and nervously laughing as he tries not to check you out too obviously. annoying friend! patrick on the other does little to hide it. probably asks where you've "been hiding those". squirts sunscreen on you while making crude jokes - and, of course, you let art rub sunscreen on your back instead of patrick which leads to a very embarrassing boner on his part - and patrick will 100% try to untie your swimsuit. 

-☕

stop because friends with art and patrick where they're just starting to realize how fucking hot you are. maybe you've covered up more before, maybe you're in a girly phase you weren't in previously, maybe you're purposely trying to gain their attention in that way - either way they're both slackjawed at the sight of you. their eyes piercing your skin when you tug off your top and wriggle out of your shorts, the thin straps of your bikini hugging your curves. your tits nearly spilling out - your ass eating up your bottoms. arts face is a comical shade of red, blotchy and patricks flushed too but at least art is polite where patrick just flat out ribs you about it, "the fuck were you hiding those knockers?"

you're secretly pleased, though you roll your eyes and admonish him for being a pervert. in fact, you do alot of that for the rest of the day, deliberately flaunting your body but acting like its not a big deal. steadily driving them insane, even art starts to get twitchy about it.

when you undo your bikini straps and ask him to rub in sunscreen, with just your palms daintily cupping your tits to cover them - he bawks at you. his hands are trembling and nervous as they feather across your back and you moan, arching back into his touch with a sigh, "harder, art." he lasts all of about five minutes before he's scrambling up, like, "uh. gotta piss." bolting from you like a scared deer to find the nearest bathroom and lock himself in a stall, furiously shoving his hand down his trunks to pump his hard cock. moans sounding tortured as he beats himself raw replaying the way you'd said "harder." in his head on a loop.

with patrick you really push it, knowing he wont spook like art. when you're in the water, you lose your top - on purpose - squealing and pressing yourself against patricks broad back, feeling him freeze when his brain computes the bare skin on skin contact - your hard nipples pushed against him. you can feel his breath expand through his chest as he inhales and exhales and chokes out - "what - what, um. you're, uh -" you suppress a giggle at having made him flounder, "just walk back to shore. i need to cover up." keeping your bare tits pressed firmly against him the whole time.

you torture them more when you find a popsicle stand and buy one - moaning and drooling around the icy concoction as it drips down your wrist. they stare at you with their lips parted, almost looking miserable in their abject longing as you slurp loudly - pushing the icy dessert in and out of your mouth - bobbing your head. it gets all over your chest, your chin, and you giggle when you finish it off, "im so sticky." licking the stick clean after. somethings sticky, alright, both of them think.

its a long day - and when they're driving you home the ride is starkly quiet. you hum to fill the silence, wondering what they're thinking about to have them looking so broody.

If you had asked me even just a year ago, I'd of never said this... but I kinda like, really want a collar

Ember and I found a website where you can design custom ones. We were messing around with the settings for a while, but it wasn't quite what we were imagining. Looking at their gallery, you can make things a lot more customized than the settings allow, so we edited the picture in Paint and...

Like??? That looks so good?? I want that. Even if it's not that exact design, I still think a collar would look good on us.

But I know others in the system would be worried about drawing too much attention to ourself. We still almost exclusively wear plain clothes and no jewelry. They need baby steps and a collar isn't that. I can't really justify spending ~$50 on something we'd only wear in our room for the foreseeable future.

Anyway, the real reason I'm making this post. I've noticed we've been opening up about our desires a lot more.

We were very reserved and passive for most of our life. Constantly feeling like we weren't allowed to want or need anything. Doing as much as possible to appear as small and unnoticeable as possible.

Some of that was from masking, some of it from dysphoria, and some of it was thanks to abuse.

I think now though, we're a part of a community that fosters exploration. We have friends that we know wont judge us. Heck, they're far more likely to encourage us. We feel comfortable and safe being ourself.

And I just... think it's really fucking cool to see so many forms of self expression that are being normalized. None of this is particularly ground braking, but it's new for us. It's weird feeling accepted.

This whole post from wanting a piece of jewelry. But when you grow up with any deviation from the norm getting heavily scrutinized and stigmatized, every act of self expression feels like it's putting a target on your back.

So I guess this is a thank you. Thank you all for starting to slowly get us out of our shell. And thank you for being awesome :)

We'll get there someday

-Konnor (he/him)

society if the Saurians made it into eo5 as playable characters & not just 4th stratum enemies

I feel like... Perhaps... Arguing that transphobia is defined by murder and that anything other than murder doesn't even matter... May NOT be conducive to fighting for trans rights.

Like... people want the right to exist as they are. They want to have access to hrt and surgeries and prosthetics. People want access to clothes that fit them and reflect how they want to be seen. People want access to medical care (eg. Getting screened and treated for sex-based forms of cancer can be impossible if you have the "wrong" sex listed to receive those tests). People want to be respected and treated well. People want to not be sexually assaulted and beaten and abused. People want to have access to housing and jobs, and the protection to not lose those things for being trans. People want access to shelters for homeless people or survivors of domestic abuse. People want name changes.

Acting like all of those things don't matter because at least they weren't murderered by an individual (and instead die of suicide or state violence, or survive and suffer) isn't okay.

I feel like your approach to criticizing a certain fandom was the wrong way of doing it. Don't get me wrong, you are a hundred percent right about the lack of representation for certain characters. But you had to have known that you would've gotten backlash for insinuating that the only reason that content is being made is because people are... misogynistic? The characters are well-written; that's why they get attention. The women are also well-written, you're right! But instead of getting mad at the people who enjoy specific characters, you could contribute to what you want to see in the fandom. Make fanfiction, make art, talk about your favorite ships, talk about your favorite characters, talk about the head-canons you have for them, connect with other fans of those characters, make AUs with them, make the fandom you want to see! But I don't know what you were expecting when you come out and say in the tags "you must be misogynists for liking these characters and you must be awful people for playing around with AUs" even though every fandom on this website does that. That was hostile and was only going to get a hostile response in return especially when you specifically put it in the tags for fans of those characters to see. Because it reads as you insinuating that fans of these characters existing is why you don't get any representation of your favorite characters. Or, alternatively, that everyone only likes certain characters because they're misogynists who hate women characters. People make content of them because they like them and because they want to make content of them.

Want more content of the things you want to see? Pay or support the artists and writers who make that content or start making it yourself. Its not helpful to complain that some characters get more attention than others but then make no attempt to contribute to it in any meaningful way. You cannot just get mad at people for liking characters and expect the fandom to magically decide its going to give you the content you want.

This is a long-winded way of saying you are correct in that the fandom seems to hyper-focus on some characters over others. But the way you approached that discussion was combative, hostile, and unhelpful, and you're not going to motivate a community into making content by being passive-aggressive to the people making the content they want to make. Be the change you want to see in the fandom, or support the artists and writers who make the content you want to see.

Its like... You can't complain your garden isn't growing if you're not watering it and not adding seeds, and instead are blaming everyone else for having plants in their gardens that you don't like.

anon i dont know how to tell you this but if you felt the need to write a five-paragraph essay talking about how i need to be nicer to other people when i am pointing out misogyny in a fandom space then, well... actually, i dont know what to tell you other than the fact that i was trying to be aggressive and im not going to be civil about misogyny. my post wasn't made in the hopes of getting people to make more content of the women in borderlands because that would never in ten fucking million years work. it was not a constructive post. you are assuming i have some sort of goodwill about this and i don't. i wanted to be an asshole because, surprise, i am an asshole. funny how that works.

you are also pulling so much of this out of nowhere and putting so many words in my mouth that i dont even know where to begin with it?? i mean this in the kindest way possible nonnie but. this is a wild response to make when all i said was essentially "wow it sure is weird that the majority of content made for bl is focused on only three men when there's a full cast of amazing women to look at" and then "its also weird that people are making aus to erase the canon abuse and exploitation of a CHILD in order to make jack a good father". but thanks for the essay, nonnie. i guess.

if i ever have to play beyond two souls again im going to kill someone someone’s life ends with me

and it's like despite all the awful shit he's done and continues to do, like, i get it. he's employed like 24/7/365. he never got to live a life, despite spending a childhood clinging to the hope of having one someday. He knew companionship and love but lost it and can't ever get it back. His circumstances are so anomalous and gruesome that it completely isolates him from pretty much every other human being on the planet. he knows hell is real and he is basically guaranteed to go there if he can't break this demon curse thing.

like it doesn't make the kidnapping and spreading the curse around any better, but i do get it.

hi tumblr dot com im freaking out rn i forgot how fun it is to have a stupid silly little crush

I think the universe just hates me personally (can't find my scooby doo comics)

People who don't know dog body language who have pushy sketchy dogs are so awful to be around. I told our housemates that their dog Klaus doesn't like me when we went out to watch the eclipse earlier today because I didn't want to go in the fenced yard with him out and they were like "oh no he's fine don't worry." When he saw me he charged up to the fence, high flagged tail, snorting and barking and jumping at the fence and they still were like "oh he's friendly, he just wants to smell you, see his tail is wagging". Like my dude... tail wagging does not mean friendly, and what about the noises he's making rn sounds friendly to you?

Selene's sister grabbed him and I thought she was going to take him inside because she acted like she was going to, but instead she stopped halfway and just held him back while I came into the yard and then let him go to run up and sniff me, which he had very stiff body language the entire time he did so. For a while after that he ignored me because of the kids calling him away and was chill, but still kept coming over and sniffing me occasionally and was very tense each time so I just tried to stay calm and sweet talk him and didn't try to touch him to help defuse the situation.

Then I walked a little away from the group to point out a plant in the yard to Selene's mom which was a mistake because once I was out of the little circle we were standing in he started body blocking me, tense face, stiff body, whale eyeing, and then jumping at me and barking. They tried to call him away and were like "oh he's just trying to get you to play, sorry he's so demanding of attention." I started trying to walk toward the gate to leave because he very much was NOT trying to get me to play and I did not feel confident in their ability to control him, and he immediately did it again. And again they tried to call him away. And I got maybe another two steps before he turned right back around and did it again. And they called him away again saying he was just trying to play. Rinse and repeat for a total of like six times of him body blocking me, tense and whale eyeing, and then jumping at me and barking. All while they're just laughing like "Sorry, Klaus just really loves playing". Dudes your dog is actually behaving aggressively toward me right now, please get control over him so I can leave he is NOT TRYING TO PLAY WITH ME.

This is the second time I've been invited into the yard while Klaus was out and the first time they kept telling me the same thing but he was actually following me around growling at me then and they were still like "oh it's just cuz he doesn't know you yet, he'll warm up to you, he's friendly". YOUR DOG IS SKETCHY. I DONT WANT TO INTERACT WITH HIM. HE DOESN'T LIKE ME. PLEASE JUST PUT HIM INSIDE WHEN I'M IN THE YARD WITH Y'ALL. And PLEASE learn some dog body language because nothing about his right now says "friendly" at all!!!!! Not even a little!!!! TAIL WAGGING DOES NOT MEAN FRIENDLY, ESPECIALLY A HIGH FLAGGED TAIL.

head in my hands. i promise i am not a scary unhinged person fdsgjkl, and none of my silly happy posting is fake, i am just very good at repressing and partitioning things. i can be having the worst day of my life and still enjoy jokes and be genuinely having a good time with my silly little characters and stories i come up with. this brain LOVES to section off shit that is genuinely unbearable (because how else do you live with that? if not putting it in a place where you cannot feel it?) so that i can cope and find joy in life still fsdjkl i simply love having a good time too much to ever make it up

sometimes I truly genuinely forget nuance is dead on the internet and then I have to read people who should be on the same side argue about politics on the internet and I start wanting to bash my head into a wall.

wish ig wasnt so fucked i do miss posting art on there but itll never be like that again. how zuck managed to make it feel physically bad and gross to use an app is incredible. its like a corpse of the app i used to use. a bad puppet. a shell. parading around, empty and awful. came back wrong. i cant use it the way it is anymore. "reels" and "stories" and the algorithm. im not using those. im not using that. it feels gross. its sliming me. its oozing slime out of my phone. i just wanted to make posts. have all my stupid art in one place and chill with my mutuals. but no. its trying to sell me ads and pretty people. and now i cant view my notifications bc it sold pretty people too hard and broke teenager's brains. itstelling me to watch reels. all the people i follow are posting their posts in their stories that im not watching bc ive refused to evolve the way i use that app past like 2016. why dont ppl just make posts. what the fuck is the point of stories. is that not just snapchat? im not downloading that either

my dm asked me to guest in one of his other groups and im really excited but i only had like a week and its TOMORROW and im either 0planning or 100 percent planned kinda person with no inbetween so im just here like....stressed

honestly i rarely refer to myself as lesbian anymore but also i dont refer to myself as anything because well! going off of lived experience i um dont have any. and going off of, idk, like, who i picture myself sharing a life with in the future i dont really do that either! so really who's to say. also it doesnt matter, life is fucking short

i never post tiktoks anymore and i have a big following bc i made videos of my cats like talking to each other with the text to speech thing and i hyped up that id be home for summer to post but i havent been creative so ive barely made any and i feel guilty like im depriving 600k people of wholesome cat content but i cant get myself to make one