yesterday coach brought up two of my insecurities/traumas from school which made cry when i got home and today i feel like my writing’s not enough 😩 pls treat me nicer

Have you ever wanted to read fight club. Did you know a lot of the copies floating around on the internet are kind of fucked up. Did you know I just spent two days fixing it. Did you know you can make a copy of this file and have it for yourself. And share it with others. You should read fight club

purgatory one was such an irl fever dream

No One Made It Out Unscathed.

everyone on every day at the exact second the server opens, weekly or monthly streamers suddenly becoming daily streamers, chill players suddenly calculating out which food gives the best saturation or how to get 0.1% of a point better on missions, Tubbo having actual nightmares, Cellbit's voice that wasn't great at the start taking even more of a beating due to constant screaming, Roier fully losing his shit a week and a half in - leading to a completely player-driven reset of how the xp and enchantment systems were being utilised (Because Everyone Was Fucking Miserable), the point where the gay ninjas had been eliminated but not told what would happen to them so everyone was like really weirdly intensely stressed out for about 14 hours, Tubbo just being too actually psyched out to beat Phil in the 1v1, how REAL the emotions were from the creators when they finally saw their kids again and THEN THE ROOF STARTED TO CAVE IN, loads of creators just taking a full break from the server when the nuke went off with a bunch of them not returning for MONTHS, the creators later being asked if they want to join purgatory two and many being like "lmao, no ❤️" and two characters (very much main characters in terms of lore) straight up canonically dying in the nuke blast

and there was just... a vibe to it. our eggs will die if we lose. if we're not being lied to AND if we're not the cursed team. how do we know who's the cursed team? should we lose on purpose if we're not? we're obviously the cursed team (EVERY TEAM SAID THIS).

and the chatters didn't escape the psychological torture this event organically produced. our children have been missing for months at this point and it almost doesn't matter who wins because everyone is at the end of their tether and absolutely every egg could theoretically die.

Enjoy, Sinners.

Also I quit my job of what would in about a month or two have been 10 years, and perhaps now I will get to actually be a human being again.

With every change to the UI of this website, the more convinced I am that no one working at Tumblr has read any actual research on how social media and/or electronic word-of-mouth, ie the gold standard of internet marketing that all advertisers slaver over, actually works. If they're trying to steer toward advertiser dollars, they are missing the mark. If they're trying to steer toward usability by humans, they are really missing the mark.

The simple version is this: if you make it impossible for people to share things from your site outside of the site, you're not attracting new users. No one wants to sign up for yet another website just to get access to one potentially interesting post, and why would people who make and sell things want to post on a site that blocks their reach? When Instagram started doing annoying popovers on everything someone tried to share with me, I just stopped opening IG links at all, and I know plenty of people in my various Discord servers who now have the same reaction to Tumblr links.

And now they're making it hard to share even within their own ecosystem? How does this make sense?? DMs now overlay the main body of the dash BUT ALSO need sidescrolling to display the full preview image of the post. How do you make something both wider and also less useful? The strength of this site was how much actual humans could still curate feeds and actually talk to each other. If I'm just expected to reblog only as algorithm-light and never talk to anyone, this is just as pointless as Facebook, a site I stopped using a decade ago.

i found a notes app draft written up of all my thoughts abt being on-stage for a little life and thought it was worth sharing here:

- food on the stage smelled SO good

- dettol, on the other hand. did not. and there was so much of it before the start of act two.

- i kept getting distracted by the lone black olive on the stage that wasn’t cleaned up after jb’s outburst

- i couldn’t help but think “his ass is NOT reading” every time willem sat down to read a manuscript

- that being said, willem’s arm obstructed my view of what jude did to himself at the end of act one and if you’ve seen the show, you’ll know this was a merciful view obstruction

- had to stop myself from laughing during the scene where willem kept hitting the sofa cushion bc every time he hit it, our seats in the front row kept vibrating

- THAT scene between jude and caleb was even worse on-stage because all the action happened very close to the back of the stage and i was just sitting there like ☹️

- probably one of the worst things about being onstage was being aware that the whole audience can see ur face which made certain scenes (caleb, dr traylor, everything after willem’s death) really difficult because i could not control my facial expressions. sat there looking either like a deer in headlights (literally at one stage) or like i’m abt to burst into tears

- also speaking of the ending, it was even more difficult bc the lighting onstage was VERY revealing and i was so aware the audience could see me

- you can really see the little subtleties of their performances- jude and harold were particular standouts but they were all amazing

- one little moment i loved was seeing malcolm mouth “be careful” when a group of them were carrying jude over to the hospital bed at the end of act one (although it could’ve been out of character to make sure none of them dropped their costar lmao)

- seeing those little moments was esp fun before the play started and they're just milling around and chatting (one moment i loved was when jude changed the music from contemporary to classical, willem noticed and changed it back and teased him abt it)

Saw some artists draw Rise Raph’s mask in a bow and I fell in love ♥️

First night went okay. I just had a hard time falling asleep because I was covered in goosebumps. Heat can cause more skin irritation, so the specialist advised me not to turn on my heated blanket.

Today will be another 'sit as still as possible on the couch and crochet to distract myself' kind of day.

Countdown: 22 hours until removal of the patches.

hiiiii i have returned from the depths of the underworld (self imposed hiatus) (3 week break that felt like 3 years)

once again logging off for exam season, see you all on the other side <3

It’s done!

The directory of all the various DC related books (that I own) has been completed!

Not all of the scans are mine, when other people have shared for the main series and spinoffs over the years, but a very solid chunk are my scans of all the ‘unimportant’ material. (If other people had good scans, I opted to save my own time, even if I could scan my own copies, basically.) And now it’s all fairly organized in one easy access list!

Includes: Conan, Kaito, Yaiba, the novels, movie manga, educational manga, activity books, tokubestuhen, archives, game guides, etc.

Now that it’s caught up, I’ll try to keep it up to date when I get more books in the future.

Every year, I tell myself that I should really consider taking off work for Father Brown premiere day, and then it comes around and I forget to do it, and I spend all day thinking about how I would so much rather be sitting cozy under a million blankets and going back to Kembleford than being forced to do boring work things.

I’m back! Well, not necessarily, but I’m on the road back home. I am mentally exhausted, but my break back in Mexico was fun! I won’t exactly get back to posting normally, but I will in a few days