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in1-nutshell · 2 months

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(One I am sorry if I am flooding your ask box is just I really love how you write) maybe old Predacon buddy get transported into the Earth spark universe how would they interact with Megatron from that universe possible hostility and will possibly gush over the terrans(is that how I say it?) Just overall more grandpa vibes

Old Predacon Buddy is going to start their own passport or scrapbook filled with their travels to other dimensions with all of their alternative grandkids.

Hope you enjoy!

Bot Buddy the Old Predacon meeting the Terrans and Megatron

SFW, Platonic, Cybertronian reader

TFP/TFE

Buddy was going to start keeping a personal travel log on all the different places outside their universe if this keeps up.

One minute they were peacefully watching Bumblebee and Bulkhead spar in the training room.

The next thing they knew they were thrown into a small clearing in the middle of the woods.

It was a peaceful piece of land if they were being honest.

They knew they needed to start thinking about how to get back home, again, but the scenery caught their optics.

Full of nice trees and moss, a perfect spot to nap.

Snap!

Buddy turns their helm to spot two small Bot and human girl and boy.

“…Hello?”--Buddy

“Hi!”—All of them

Buddy, a little stunned by the response, waves their tail.

The little girl and the bot next to her come closer.

The other two come after wards.

“We heard a large thud noise and found you here.”—Small red bot

“Did you now?”--Buddy

“Bet that was you making a crash landing.”—Small human girl

“You could say that. These portals aren’t known for giving bots nice landings.”--Buddy

“Portals? Like a spacebridge?”—Small human boy

“…Yes, like a spacebridge. How do you know what a space bridge is?”--Buddy

“Dad and Dad 2 talked about them.”—Small red bot

“Dad…Dad 2?”--Buddy

“Yeah well, Dad talked about it in the comics.”—Small white bot

“Excuse me, comics?”--Buddy

“Yeah, these things!”—Small white bot

Buddy is shown a comic with Optimus and Megatron fighting on the front page.

“Do… do all humans know about our species?”--Buddy

“Duh. You’re not from around here, are you?”—Small white bot

“I’m not. I’m from another dimension.”--Buddy

“Wow! So Cool!”—Small human girl

“Mo, they need to get back home.”--Small human boy

Buddy tilting their helm a bit.

“Mo? Is that your name little one?”--Buddy

“Yep! This is my big brother Robbie and our other brother Thrash and sister Twitch.”--Mo

“Brother… and sister…”--Buddy

“We found them in a cave, well more like created.”--Robbie

Buddy sitting down putting a servo over their face.

Buddy vents hard.

“Hold on a second kiddo. This…this is a lot to process at the moment.”--Buddy

“Robbie! Mo! Where did you guys go?”

“Wait I found them!”

Three more bots come from the brush.

Buddy just stares at them.

The orange and green one transform into their beast modes and stand in front of group. The large purple one looks like they are ready to fight.

“Who are you!”—Green owl bot

“Nightshade wait that bot’s friendly!”--Mo

“How do you know? They look like they can eat you whole Mo!”—Large purple one

“We should judge a book by its cover Hashtag.”—Small dinobot

“If it helps, I can give you my name. But you must promise not to ask questions about it.”--Buddy

“Deal.”--Mo

“Buddy.”--Buddy

“…Your name is Buddy?”--Robbie

“Yep.”--Buddy

“…okay! These are our other siblings, Hashtag, Nightshade and Jawbreaker.”--Thrash

Buddy nodding before taking notice of how young these bots looked.

“You said you found your siblings in a cave, correct? How long were they there?”--Buddy

“I think less than a year ago.”--Mo

Buddy looks like they are about to have a stroke.

Mo mentioned that their mother and father would want to meet them. Maybe even help them find a way back home.

As the little group walked towards the farm, Buddy followed making sure to watch each one carefully.

There was no way that these literal sparkling’s were leaving their sight.

Alex and Dot were extremely surprised to see the kids bring in a giant mechanical dragon home.

They looked even bigger than Megatron!

“Kids… who’s your new friend here?”--Alex

Buddy bowing their helm a little in respect.

“Hello there. My name is Buddy. I am an Autobot from another dimension. I fell into your world through some sort of portal.”--Buddy

“Wow…”--Alex

“Your name is Buddy?”--Dot

Buddy venting a bit.

“Yes Ma’am. That is my name it suites my personality, I’ve been told.”--Buddy

Dot looks at her kids.

“Did any of you—”--Dot

“We didn’t bring the giant dragon here!”--Thrash

“I am a Predacon little one.”--Buddy

“What’s a Predacon?”--Jawbreaker

“…I’ll explain it later. Umm…”--Buddy

“I’m Dot, this is my husband, Alex.”--Dot

Alex looking starstruck at Buddy.

“Hello—”--buddy

“Can you fly?”--Alex

“Dad!”—the kids

“Alex!”--Dot

Buddy chuckling a bit before dipping their helm to the ground in front of him.

“Would you like to see for yourself?”--Buddy

“I like them!”--Alex

“Can I go too!”--Mo

“And me!”--Robbie

“And me!”--Hashtag

“One at a time little ones. Dot? Is there someone you can contact that could--”--Buddy

“Already calling the big guys. They should be here any minute.”--Dot

Buddy was pleased and agreed to wait.

In the meantime, Buddy had already taken an oath to protect the young ones with their life while they were still here.

Buddy also wondered whose alternatives they were going to run into this time around.

Buddy played around with the little ones when a yellow sports car came speeding in and transformed.

“Dot! I got the call—SWEET SOLUS PRIME!”--Bumblebee

Buddy turning to the yellow bot with a happy grin on their face plate.

Buddy easily walks up to him with four of the Malto bots hanging from their frame.

“Bumblebee! My, my I haven’t met an alternative of you yet. And your voice!”--Buddy

Buddy looking around his neck cables.

“Not a scratch!”--Buddy

“Can someone explain!”--Bumblebee

“Oh sorry! Where are my manners. My name is Buddy, I am an Autobot from another dimension and Dot dear here was nice enough to contact some bots that could potentially help me with my problem.”--Buddy

“…”--Bumblebee

“It’s a lot to take in. Take your time little one.”--Buddy

Did Bee feel a bit intimidated about the giant dragon talking to him in such high regards.

Yes.

But at the same time, he didn’t.

Despite the grand size of the bot, they were a softy.

They really lived up to their name.

Soon enough a familiar truck comes in.

“Is that Prime?”--Buddy

“Oh yeah Optimus is here.”--Dot

“That’s—”--Bumblebee

A grey helicopter starts hovering above the truck.

“…Bumblebee. Who’s that?”--Buddy

“Megatron.”--Bumblebee

Buddy nearly snaps their neck at how fast they look at him.

“Excuse me?!”--Buddy

“What?”--Dot

“Megatron? Here? The leader of the Decepticons?”--Buddy

“Oh, he isn’t a Con anymore. He’s one of us now.”--Bumblebee

Buddy’s wings drop as the kids go welcome the Prime and ex-warlord.

“Your war is…is it over?”--Buddy

Bee and Dot look at Buddy who seemed to have aged dramatically in the few seconds of hearing that news.

“Yeah, its over…I take it yours isn’t?”--Bumblebee

Buddy shaking their helm.

“What about the other Decepticon’s?”--Buddy

“Some are doing their own thing and others do cause trouble from time to time.”--Bumblebee

Buddy huffs a bit.

“Next thing you’re going to tell me is that Starscream is the leader.”--Buddy

“I mean—”--Bumblebee

“This is the part where you tell me that isn’t true…”--Buddy

“Well…”--Dot

“…please say sike right now…”--Buddy

Prime and Megatron start walking over.

Buddy straightens themselves and transforms to go shake the Leaders servos.

“Optimus. Megatron.”--Buddy

“That’s us. And who might you be stranger?”--Megtron

Buddy suppressing a tiny sob.

“Buddy, sir. My name is Buddy.”--Buddy

“Strange name, but it looks like it suites you well.”--Optimus

“Thank you Prime. I take it that you two can help me get back home?”--Buddy

“We will do our best Buddy.”--Optimus

Buddy smiles at the two.

“That’s all I could ask for. Thank you.”--buddy

Buddy eventually sat down and talked to the two mechs while more bots were coming their way.

Buddy met the alternatives of some fellow bots they knew or had known throughout the war.

They nearly got teary eyed when they met this alternative of Elita One.

Buddy found it a bit hard to connect the dots between this version of Arcee and Wheeljack.

According to Wheeljack, it was going to take a couple of days to make sure that Buddy would get sent to the right dimension.

Buddy didn’t mind too much as they spent most of their time with the kids.

These kids lived for Buddy’s play time and stories.

“Then what did you do?”--Jawbreaker

“Well kiddo, I took that hammer and threw it at our Commander. He was able to help our Wheeljack and Bulkhead while I managed to get us some cover from the Vechicons.”--Buddy

“Cool!”--Thrash

“Buddy, I have a question.”--Nightshade

“What might that be Nightshade?”--Buddy

“You mentioned once that you were a gladiator of sorts right?”--Nightshade

“Yes, that was during my younger years.”--Buddy

“How young though?”--Nightshade

“Hmm… probably around the first hundreds of years give or take.”--Buddy

“…”—The kids

“Kids?”--Buddy

“How old are you?”--Robbie

“…How about another story?”--Buddy

“How old!”--Twitch

“Storytime!”--Buddy

“How old Buddy!”--Hashtag

“Dot! Restrain you kids!”—Buddy

Soon enough it was time for Buddy to go back home.

Buddy made sure they hugged every single one of their new friends before going close to the portal.

Buddy made sure to give extras as they were leaving.

Buddy came out of the portal and into the halls of the base.

Only to get immediately hit in the helm by a lob ball.

“OW! Who threw that!”--Buddy

“Buddy!?”--Miko

Miko starts running to Buddy in the Apex armor.

“Wait Miko the armor—”--Buddy

Miko jumps into Buddy’s open arms.

Buddy falls backwards with a hard thud.

“Miko, I’m not as young as I was before.”--Buddy

Miko doesn’t listen, too busy hugging Buddy.

“You need to stop disappearing like that.”--Miko

“Trust me if I had a choice I would stay with the team. The universe seems to have different plans. At least I always end back home.”--buddy

“You got that right.”--Miko

#transformers x reader #maccadam #bot buddy #tfp #tfp x reader #tfp x platonic reader #tfe x platonic reader #tfe terrans #tfe terrans x platonic reader

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drewsaturday · 26 days

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i rly do have such a hard time these days telling if the reason i want to make a fanwork is because i genuinely want to make that fanwork, or because it feels like a habit or obligation existing in fandom spaces as someone who did spend a long time making fanworks.

like i can't turn off the part of my brain that's like "oh this is a cool idea we should do a fic/vid/etc for this franchise based on it" but i have so much trouble knowing if i actually... Want. to do that.

a few issues are that

i am hashtag medicated now so the "if i dont make this i will DIE" burning feeling i used to get has left the building, and that was the biggest indicator of me wanting to make something for myself and having the motivation to see it through.

fandom is kind of an escape mechanism and yeah, i know! but because i am trying to advance my life in other ways i do have a mental block now when it comes to spending time on escapism rather than things that actually move me forward. (plus... i just don't really have as much time to dig into these things as much as i need to these days as a result.)

i do think the primary motivation for most fanworks should be that you want to see it done (at least for me), rather than wanting to get positive attention/comments/etc. those are a nice bonus but it's easy to burn out when they're the only reason. but i do feel like when i come up with an idea, that's the predominant subconscious motivator now? or at least... not attention, but feeling like my place in a fandom space is justified etc. in the past, fanworks were a nice vessel for fandom socialization, whereas now i think that's become more of a primary motivator without me realizing when... i could just... talk to people, or something.

plus a few other things (insecurities - what i make isn't good enough or worth the time, other people have done this first or other people are filling this niche now so i'm not needed to, no matter how much time i spend on this someone else will always be better or get more positive feedback, etc) that come into play but on a lesser level.

i should also probably figure out... what other motivations there are that don't have to automatically be fandom-related. like am i thinking about this idea because i want to draw, and this just happens to be the fandom i'm in at the time and i'm used to pre-existing characters being my muse tm? did i ever even really like writing or did i just like exploring this show's worldbuilding?

in that case, i really should just do more with original things to pinpoint what specifically would bring me joy. and i'm aware of that, and i want to do more with it. and i think that would help me with identifying what motivator goes to what thing.

i just also don't want to lose fandom participation because that is such a special thing. but it is also okay to have phases of motivation with it i guess? and i think once my life is quite different i'll have less of those mental blocks in place and more time etc.

just a weird feeling to navigate as someone who misses having more clarity and productivity in this realm, or at least misses the things that came along with it when doing so in fandom. i think if i felt more passionate about my schoolwork i would be somewhat okay with the trade-off but at the very least i need to indulge more in creative hobbies, whatever those hobbies may be.

and maybe if i spent less time Thinking about it and more time Doing i would have more weird vague feelings about it to analyze and figure myself out with j;lsdfljksdf.

#txt

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checkadii · 2 months

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[blearily] might as well

Hi I’m making a hashtag pinned post tm. So uh yeah

My name is Dol/Check, either works! I use any pronouns, don’t really mind, but occasionally I fiddle w the ones I display on profile :]

(If you know me on the tmi sever that changes like. Every month if not every week lmfao)

shhh. I made a strawpage

I’m going to be so honest right now. I don’t know what to put here. info below question mark

Fandoms I’m mainly part of and may have drawn art for:

- The Magnus Archives/Protocol

- (but if you’ve seen my tma art you know it’s mostly Jon. And Martin. Jmart. Sometimes Mike Crew. I had horrible Jonahbas brainrot at one point and want to redraw so many of those drawings because why do they look like anime gi(EXPLOSIONS))

- Malevolent

- No1 Yellow defender

- Baldur’s Gate 3

- (me and my mostly contained ocs rants on discord against the world… one day I’ll get to play a campaign with friends again…)

- Half-Life VR But The AI Is Self-Aware

- (I have a comfort character. It’s obvious who it is atp. I apologize for that (not really))

- Freeman’s Mind

- HES FUCKING INSANE I LOVE HJM I need to start s2

- Ultrakill

- (I can’t draw robots. Or armour. i think I’ve drawn v1 on two occasions and that is it. regardless I consume stuff for it often enough I’m putting it here)

Will be adding more as brainrots fester ig!

fandoms im also part off. i think. shhh: Sky: Children of The Light, DnDads, The Walten Files, Resident Evil, Portal, Starkids ( i <3 NPMD), Rise of The Guardians (yes that one), Transformers (soundwave!!… prime series is also cool), Disco Elysium, Fallen London (camelot my beloved), Detroit: Become Human, Hades Supergiant, Horizon, DOOM, I like analogue horror, Marblehornets, EverymanHYBRID, Fear and Hunger, Faith: The Unholy Trilogy, The Mechanisms, Left 4 Dead, The Stanley Parable, Welcome to Night Vale, ok i think im done

I have 1 (one) singular tag I use. It’s checkadii, got (hopefully) all of my drawings on that thang. Might add more like ocs, Long Reblog Chains, idk!

I don't post nsfw (afaik??? knocks brain), maybe the occasional “she x on my y” joke or something along those lines, but generally I am not comfortable doing so, but there may be reblogs here and there of posts that may be suggestive or nsfw, most of them are probably shitposts ngl. Still!

General DNI applies: zoophiles, pro-shippers, racists, homophobes, transphobes, "rtca", you name it.

conspicuous glance at camera. is that everything. yell at me in asks ig im bad at responding in a timely manner but i also like talking a lot. Might add a section for brushes I use on csp. Or ocs. Maybe ocs. Please talk to me about my ocs

okay bye

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fduck0 · 4 months

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As someone who never stops thinking abt Wendy and Abigail, I've always seen Wendy's rework animation as less of a hallucination and more as a simple but effective rundown over Wendy's struggle with her grief through how she remembers Abigail's death. Most notably, I believe the last bit with the bush is either a slightly older memory stitched in or deliberate misremembering as a defense mechanism of sorts. My main reason for thinking this is partially cause yeah no that just didn't happen, but also because to me it makes the previous moments hit so much harder because of the harsh contrast between Wendy's attitude towards Abigail in the two scenes. In the previous, she's dismissive, and has to be dragged away from her books, and is clearly much more reluctant about doing things than Abigail. And in the next scene, Wendy is smiling, laughing, and playing with Abigail. This actually fits quite well with Wendy's dialogue too, but that's besides the point. And with the ending bit, I see it as a basic snap to reality from a deep daydream. Also, one detail I love is how Jack does look concerned for Wendy and briefly tries to reach for her before giving up, which just is soooo good like a big part of Wendy's hashtag issues was not just losing Abby, but also seemingly having very little support after that loss. In general, a lot of Wendy's messy and sometimes contradictory statements and actions are incredibly easily explained by the fact that she's a traumatized and grieving child who in no way has the tools to healthily cope with her emotions and very little support even outside of that. This is why Wendy makes me want to start biting things and why that's my favorite don't start animation 👍

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS THIS PERSON GETS IT.

Tbh while ive never thought ab Wendys animation like that, that is SUCH a good fucking take on it and tbh PRETTY GOD DAMN FITTING to wendys rapid change of emotions in the animation. and with this i have to say, YESSSS SOMEONE IS FINALLY POINTING OUT THE JACK THING.

I feel like a lot of Wendys fear of letting go of Abigail comes from this. Its like a god damn tragedy cycle. feel alone without Abigail- get no support from family- feel more alone and abandoned- cling to the fact Abigail WOULD have been the support and form an unhealthy coping mechanism around it- grow MORE dependent on her and restart. It is essentially what makes her SO god damn afraid and i feel like this quote from her forge vignette puts it best "Wendy clings fiercely to the grief over her sister's death, for fear that moving on would cause Abigail's memory to fade."

With the lack of support from her family and being "left behind", Wendy most probably feels to some extent she is the ONLY one trying to keep Abigail's memory alive. Abigail is the ONLY one she has ever had.

And with this last thing, another YES. A lot of Wendys contradictions can be boiled down to her conflicted and jumbled emotions as a child trying to cope and her fears getting the best of her. Wendy doesnt HATE colours, Wendy hates what memories those colours bring back and the cheerfulness she doesnt feel anymore. it is all a mockery to her grief, but there is STILL a part of her that longs for that part of her childhood back, which leads to a lot of the conflicted quotes as a kid who doesnt know what she wants anymore.

But yeah, we going off again bc WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH Wendy lore is both so cool and complicated and idk how to write down my opinions so they just come out in rambles but like YEAH Keese you are so fucking right

#dst #dst wendy #duck rambles #i need to like legit ramble ab Wendy more often on here because i haVE BEEN THINKING AB HER LORE FOR LIKE 6 YEARS ITS INSANEEEEEEE #i need to like reread hamlet but like i have some fucking words about how Wendy brings up Ophelia in multiple quotes and how her tragedy #mimics that of Abigails death in a way and how Wendy can be seen as Laertes

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sveene · 6 months

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Warning long post!

Here is an excerpt from an rp I’ve got going on with @turtwap - This isn’t the entire story, but some turns from where we are up to. It takes place in my Plagued horror au - Some time after the end of episode 25 of Transformers Earthspark. Mandroid’s plan to eradicate all Cybertronians is reversed, the healing ray ressurects him, but leaves him in a comatose state. He is taken by GHOST where his future is not certain. When an outbreak of an unknown and devastating virus surfaces shortly after, Alex asks GHOST to help Victor AKA Mandroid - They agree, but funding a new body for him will not be cheap - They must see results from him to make it viable. And so, Victor is brought back where he has to face up to his past - He makes some good progress but there are many obstacles ahead to face.

@monocle-teacup thought this might be of interest to you

@vihattu-thethoroughbredofsin Here is the rp the drawings are based on

SVEENE -

As time passed, Hashtag grew fed up with being in her room. She wasn’t tired either - and now she was growing bored of being in the same place. Her music wasn’t helping her tonight. Exhaling pointedly, she got up from where she’d been sat, which wasn’t on her berth - instead, she’d been sitting on the floor, head in her hands, for an unknown amount of time. Bored, she decided to take a walk to break up the monotony of the evening.

In the training arena, a miserable sight was unfolding before the scathing glare of Lena, who should have gone home hours ago. She wanted to oversee proceedings with the new Plagued captive - because this one was far more coherent than the others. This one was *talking* …

Arms folded, she turned to the team. Alex was nowhere to be seen, not at this late hour. She smiled a gloating little leer of a grin. Nobody to stop her from getting her money’s worth out of being an absolute bastard around Victor, whom the scientists had gathered around as he was being medically assessed - he looked indifferent to the situation. He was sitting on the berth. Alex ordered that he wouldn’t be strapped down against his will. He tolerated just sitting there, even as hands touched him, pinched at his veins, injected him or hooked him up to various machines. Victor had ports on his armour, where jacks could be inserted, to see how the mechanical parts of him were functioning - it was sad how no one spoke to him, despite that, like them, he had a human face - he stared ahead, or down at the floor. The only one who spoke to him was Lena - and she did not address him nicely. He didn’t look at her but saw her feet approach, then stop some feet away. His face was unreadable. He did not look up. When Lena spoke, it was not to him but about him - to the other scientists, making him feel even less human.

“…We have a talker in the arena. Have Victor find out the alien’s name. I want to know as much as possible - so make sure there are no mistakes this time.”

Wincing as one of the technicians jabbed a needle into his arm, Vic looked out through the window at the Cybertronian who was sitting by themselves, surrounded by open space and then a ring of guards with plasma guns trained on him. At that moment, Vic felt a weird sympathy - Two different life forms which were not so different because they were both viewed as beasts.

“Diagnostics are complete. Looks like a clean bill of health for you, Victor.” Came the voice of one of the scientists, Alex’s friend Marcus - One of the more pleasant lab staff. Even though he was scared of Vic, he was always courteous to him.

Marcus followed Vic as he wordlessly stood up, walking towards the window to look into the arena. Marcus appeared next to him, looking up at the cyborg scientist.

“…I take it that this one isn’t destined for the chopping block, then?”

“Yeah - we just need intel tonight, Vic. You have full permission to terminate him if you feel it is necessary.”

That was all Vic needed to know. He looked at Marcus, who moved back a few steps - Vic stopped caring long ago who was scared of him just for existing.

“Acknowledged - And chill out, Marcus. I don’t always bite.” Vic added sardonically. With that said, he left to go to the arena, where the big, captive Cybertronian awaited him.

Hashtag had found herself wandering through tall doors marked ‘No Entry’ or ‘Staff Only’ - Fuck it. She was in a mood and needed a thrill. She had no idea what she had let herself in for when she found herself in a dark engine room - with its busy machines buzzing away and bright lights flickering … no one was around despite the noise. The next door she found was marked ‘Arena 2 - Viewing Room’ - at first she didn’t dare to go in - what if it was full of people? Before she could stop, she’d already let herself in. It was cold, dark and empty. What the hell was this place?? She locked the door, spark pulsing with some fear she now felt for having snuck so deeply into the base - where she was probably not permitted unless accompanied. What she saw next made her optics go wide - It was *him*

And someone else… a fellow Cybertronian… she didn’t get too close to the glass, in case she was seen, but nor could she make herself look away.

TURTWAP -

Topspin was as bolted to the wall as any living being could be. The restraining bolts kept him from accessing any of his weapons, but he had the strength now to break out of there if he tried. Even hungry as he was - *starving*. He just needed something to eat, just one cube of energon to take the edge off. He’d *watched* those Terran kids go right past where he was hiding that night, but Megatron had forbidden anyone from touching them on a pain worse than being made un-dead.

GHOST still dumped Energon in the forest. It wasn’t always *good* Energon. They were sure it was medical waste or what was left over from various machines, but despite tasting like trash, it was edible for them. It took the edge off, at least. GHOST had so few uninfected Cybertronians left, so getting a fresh meal was much more complicated than it used to be. With the loss of his twin still fresh, he felt like he needed to eat double to fill the gap inside his spark. Maybe if he played his cards right, he could talk them into giving him some…

As the humans stepped aside, a creature stepped towards him - the face was human, but the rest of it….he didn’t even know. Despite not being afraid at all, inside him, he felt a sharp pain of fear from what had, at one point, been Twin Twist’s half of their bond. The fear he felt before he’d been killed.

As the creature stepped towards him, Topspin bared his terrifying fangs and screeched at it. The humans all jumped back in terror, but he wasn’t focused on them, “you killed my brother! I felt it! You gut him like a fish!”

Despite all the humans’ fear, one of them without armour, he didn’t recognise her even from before, turned to another and whispered, “Make a note: ‘even infected they still feel familial relationships—'

Topspin cut her off by shrieking again, “And you took him to get butchered! I’ll kill every one of you and take your hearts for —“

Several of the armed guards fired taser rounds at him, electrocuting him so hard he thought his audials would explode. He saw the human’s pet monster get closer to him, looking at him like a specimen.

SVEENE -

As Victor approached, his organic set of arms folded loosely, he stood and observed, face set as he looked into the optics of the being before him. When he saw a scientist nearby making notes, he thought it best to usher them off - before they found out anything of *actual* value - and as Victor was the chief scientist at GHOST, he did have the final say. No one was going to argue with him regardless - most were only too happy not to have to be around him, especially given the fact that he’d nearly killed one of the scientists just weeks earlier. Vic was able to hide his reaction when he saw them taser Topspin, but his folded arms seemed to tighten. He, too, knew the pain of the taser well.

“Leave us.”

There was no resistance from the other scientists, who did as ordered. The others with their guns seemed hesitant at first, exchanging glances until Victor spoke again, that slightly mechanised voice making them jump as it echoed eerily in the massive space of the arena.

“*Did I stutter?*”

With the sternness in his voice, the guards, with their plasma guns, submitted and left the area along with the scientists. As they did so, Vic remained staring dead ahead into the face of the captive Cybertronian - when it was just the two of them, Victor finally spoke again.

“What is your name?” Vic began, ignoring the bestial anger and snapping jaws that could not reach him. Topspin was struggling so much, but Victor remained icy calm. He wasn’t going to barter or inflict pain. He wanted Topspin to realise he had a choice, to either be hard work - or be reasonable.

“This can be as difficult as you want it to be. If you comply, we can get this over with quickly. The choice is yours. I’ll ask again - What is your name?”

TURTWAP -

When the guards left, Topspin stared at the thing talking to him. Four arms, a tail….yikes. Maybe this guy took over the space bridge and came back as a monster in a shell. Acting tough didn’t faze him, so Topspin quickly cut the act and eased back against the wall. He didn’t let his guard down, but he no longer had anyone he needed to scare off.

The second time he was asked, he complied, “Topspin. Twin Twist was my brother…he’s one of the ones who was killed a couple of nights ago. Rotorstorm was the other.”

Names were a start - GHOST always loved getting names, even before. If they didn’t have a bot’s name, they pushed until they got it. The twins had listened to Optimus, joined the humans with the rest of the Autobots, kept their heads down and did what they were told. Look where it got them now.

“I was just looking for Energon - some guys in a truck usually dump the wasted stuff by this old backroad. It must have got too close. That’s what the other two were doing. Rotorstorm was so hungry he was starting to lose it - that’s probably why….”

He didn’t need to explain the rest. And he wasn’t trying to win any favours with a sob story. He just wanted to get this interrogation over with so they would hurry up and put him out of his misery.

SVEENE-

As Topspin began to talk, Vic just listened - His demeanour didn’t change much, but his expression was intriguing. The man looked *done*. He looked like a guy who had just turned up to a 12-hour shift at his hated job. He kept his pair of organic arms loosely folded for a moment longer but soon began to walk towards the various large storage vats, machinery and what looked like surgical equipment on the big workbench nearby. Was this the end? What was this four-armed monster going to do next? Indeed, something awful. Indeed, something as inhuman as he looked.

There was the sound of liquid gushing and a tap being activated. It was probably a preservative or acid.

When the cybernetic creature returned, he held a Jerry-can-type container full of bright pink liquid. What he did next was utterly unexpected - Hashtag was still watching, optics wide. She was mentally trying to prepare herself for whatever awful thing was about to happen next. She could already feel her optics stinging, mind and spark racing as she desperately wanted to do *something* - anything… to stop was about to -

“This will be easier if you lift your chin.” Vic began, now standing well within biting distance - He had nothing to fear. He’d be wheeled away and stitched up, forced to get better and exist for another day, so he didn’t fear the jaws of Topspin. He wanted to give him some Energon, given that’s all he had wanted. It was impossible to tell if the act was out of some vague sense of compassion, or remorse or whether it was scientific curiosity. Regardless, he was offering the Energon - Topspin was free to react however he pleased. Given that he was bound, his options were somewhat limited.

Hashtag continued to stare in confusion through the window. In the sanctity of the room, she felt a knot form within her. Why was this scene not playing out like she had expected? Ruthless, scornful, cold and horrible Victor - Who wasn’t doing what she expected him to. Why?

As Victor leaned in with the Jerry can, just before he let Topspin drink, he lifted the can up enough to cover that he was talking to him - This was unexpected. Topspin could take the man’s throat out with one bite if he wanted, but when Vic began to speak again, it was too unusual of a situation to do anything other than listen.

“Topspin, I don’t have much time. If they see me like this for too long, they’ll send the guards down. Tell me - Are there others like you? Where is Megatron’s base?”

Victor knew that he was being monitored - They couldn’t hear him, not like this - but they could see him to a degree. He hoped that Topspin would give him something useful to work with and fast.

“I’m sorry about your brothers - There is no time for sentiment. Tell me what you know.”

TURTWAP-

When GHOST’s cyborg monster approached him with the Energon, Topspin didn’t hesitate. He tried to keep his lips over his fangs as much as he could out of deference, but he did gulp it down greedily. If he could, he would have bitten through the can and sucked it dry, though that would probably risk biting the hand that fed him and getting put down early.

He acknowledged the first question with a nod, swallowing down the last of the Energon quickly so he could answer. Instantly, he felt more alert, less like he was trying not to lose his grip on a slippery slope. Another couple of days hungry, and he would have ended up like the mindless ones that tore off and never came back.

Fair was fair - the creature had extended an olive branch, so the least he could do was answer honestly, “When you say ‘like me’, you mean coherent? Not just angry, spark-sucking monsters? We’re *all* like that - at least….who’s left. It doesn’t start like that. The hunger is so bad at first that it just *hurts* like nothing you could imagine. All you want to do is rip someone’s throat out. But after a while, it goes away. You start to become…more like you.

“But with so many of us, it’s getting harder and harder to find ways to feed. Sorry to say it, but we ate most of our options. That’s why we go after the scraps and stop attacking GHOST so frequently. There’s not much to go around, though…and when bots go hungry… that makes them monstrous. The ones that attack don’t know what they’re doing. As for the base…I don’t know—

Before Topspin could continue, the door slammed open again. Lena and her small army returned, pointing their guns at Topspin but not bothering to mind that Vic was half in the way if they fired.

“Victor, I said, interrogate it, not make friends with it. We are not a home for wayward demon-bots. Did it say anything useful or not?”

With the humans back, Topspin had no desire to speak. Their cybernetic pet….lackey….thing—Victor, apparently—he had no issues with anymore, but the humans would remain nothing but cruel. He bared his fangs at them, “Now I won’t say anything! I know what you’ll do if I talk: you’ll kill everyone and pretend to be the heroes. You aren’t any different than us.”

He sneered at her, hissing quietly through his teeth like a snake. The guards looked at the human woman expectantly, who only raised an eyebrow and looked down at her watch and back.

“Fine. I don’t have the time to waste, and I can find ways to lure another of you in. Maybe one more talkative,” she turned to Vic coldly, “kill him. Not too horribly, since now I need his corpse for bait.”

SVEENE-

When Victor heard the big doors to the lab open abruptly, he looked to Topspin, resisting the urge to look behind himself - and for the first time, his otherwise set expression looked pleading. He spoke quickly and quietly, even as he heard Lena yell up at him, on the platform where he stood eye-level with the much larger form of Topspin.

“…If you want to help your friends, tell me where Megatron’s base is.”

In no hurry to acknowledge Lena or her troupe of guards, Victor searched the optics of Topspin one last time - Hoping he’d say something worthwhile. Victor pursed his lips, eyes closing in a moment of seething frustration as his jaw tightened. He sharply exhaled, looking determinedly to Topspin one last time - the seconds slipping away. He got down from the platform, getting back to the ground with a swift leap. He landed a short distance away from Lena and approached, noting how she did not move around like everyone else always did - even her not-so-tough guards appeared as if to be hiding behind their guns.

Her face twisted into a scolding grimace - as if she was always thoroughly disappointed. She barely acknowledged Victor even as he watched her dismissively pass by him. He was not going to chase after her. He didn’t even speak until she looked back, and up at him. Her words seemed to defy logic - Victor’s brow furrowed in confusion

“Lena - I implore you to reconsider. He has valuable Intel we can use. Killing him will be a setback we cannot accommodate.”

Lena’s head spun around so fast it was almost as if she’d had cold water thrown on her. She looked up at Victor, walking towards him. Whenever she took out that damn pen in her pocket and began clicking it, Vic knew well enough to expect the situation to go only one way - *hers*.

“Victor-“

“-Give me some time with him and-“

“*Enough* - That is enough. Now, I believe I have already given you an order, so why don’t you hurry up and *execute* it? Put those many empty hands of yours to some use, won’t you? They, along with the rest of you, are costing this organization a small fortune I hope you realise?”

Inside, the man was utterly seething. All four of his fists tightly balled up - but he could not let his anger show -

For an entire moment, he locked eyes with that woman before him, and inside, behind the rack of chest teeth, he felt his laser gun warm up painfully - Oh, how he wanted to. He could not, though. Not yet.

Victor’s gaze went toward Topspin as he resignedly walked over to where he was bound - He did not want to kill him, but Victor had no choice. Before he did, he looked up at Topspin one last time and did the last thing he could think to do - in the moments they still had left. Using the Plague’s telepathic bridging ability, he reached out to Topspin - So only the two of them could hear each other.

“I apologise for what I am about to do. There won’t be any pain. I ask you one last time to tell me the location of Megatron’s base.”

Lena was growing ever more impatient by the second; if Victor wasn’t going to do it - She’d surely get her guards to kill him instead, and Victor would be reprimanded. To keep Lena distracted, Vic began charging up - The sound of his mechanical parts whirring up as a power boost bought him a little longer - but not much. He implored Topspin, as his organic arms began to extend - Then slam into Topspin’s chest, palms down, the teeth on his palms piercing Topspin’s chest plate, sinking in with deadly swiftness- Victor promised there would be no pain, and he kept his word. The scientist began draining the Energon out of Topspin - rendering his last meal moments ago worthless - Victor’s eyes went bright violet-white. Topspin stared back, hypnotised into unconsciousness. Victor drained him until he shut down, sagging in his restraints- completely dead. It was horrendous to witness - Even Lena looked uncomfortable. Truly, Victor was as twisted as any life form could get and he worried her, even if she never let him know of it.

Hashtag’s mouth hung open - she backed away from the window until darkness shrouded her. She felt *terrified* - She watched Topspin die, the unnaturally stretched arms of the cyborg scientist retracting. She ambled backwards until her back was against a wall, which made her gasp as she slid down it - She felt utterly numb by now. Why was she here in this awful place… It was like living in a tomb.

TURTWAP-

The moment Victor stepped away from the body, the team of specialists and guards had it lowered onto the ground to swarm it like flies, most likely preparing to store it until whatever plan Lena was concocting came time.

Speaking of, the woman continued staring on ahead when she spoke, not looking at Vic for even a moment, “I wasn’t just putting on a show, I meant what I said. We don’t have time for you to get to know every single bot that comes through here. If one won’t spill, we move on. Throw enough darts at the wall and one of them is bound to hit the target - eventually we will either find one that is as cooperative as we need, or we end up wiping them all out anyway.”

She could *feel* that Victor was about to argue back, and she didn’t care for it. Lena hadn’t even heard him draw breath before she held a hand up to quiet him, “they can act intelligent all they want, but it won’t change the fact that they are a threat. Whatever you were going to say, don’t.”

She walked away after that, crossing the room to speak with the team of lab coats and assistants, leaving Vic standing by himself. As cruel as she acted towards him, to the rest of her team she was firm and shrewd, but much less harsh. Always thanking them, hearing out and occasionally agreeing with their opposing opinions. She understood that the organization ran best with cooperation. But she saw Vic as an unpredictable outlier, one that needed to be kept on a short, tight leash.

Hashtag knew what she needed to do. She had to protect her family from that *evil thing* that her sister was so attached to. She could go home and hide and cry later, but right now she felt so angry she let it take her over. She retraced her steps from a couple days prior to her to the lab, easily hacking through door controls and security cameras to get there unnoticed. Once she was in, she realized she didn’t entirely have a plan. Was she going to try and kill him? How was she going to do that when he was so much stronger than her.

She pulled up the security camera feeds for the hallways again and saw that Vic was making his way back to the lab, he’d be there in a couple minutes. Panicking, Hashtag found a metal storage closet against one wall, and opened it, hoping for *something* that would give her a quick weapon, at least to defend herself. Fixed to the inside of one of the doors was a massive crowbar. It would have to do.

She grabbed it, shut the cabinet so no one would notice, and hid herself in a dark corner near the door.

#transformers #roleplay #transformers mandroid #tfe mandroid #transformers earthspark #transformers rp #transformers earthspark hashtag #horrortron #writing #transformers horror au stuff #tfe dr meridian #mandroid final form tfe #tf earthspark #tfe hashtag #tfe twitch

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itsbinghebitch · 9 months

Text

ok so here’s the tea

this is gonna be about build and the whole shitshow of last week. consider it more of a public diary entry on my part.

i want to preface this with saying i really regret my anger outburst. i think it’s a really complicated situation and it lacked a lot of tact on my part to insult other fans no matter how angry i was feeling in that moment. i consider myself a thoughtful person but idk sometimes i deal with severe mood swings that i can’t control which. yeah, that doesn’t excuse attacking other people. and yeah even if i perceived homophobia/bigoted attitudes in the fandom, i recognize that i there are fans who are really going through a hard time right now and painting their moral dilemma as ‘excusing homophobia’ is not helpful.

i totally get that. i believe there can be productive conversations in this fandom. on the other hand, i don’t believe it was right for people to outright block me and alienate me when i expressed that, as a queer person, i cannot tolerate emerging attitudes in the fandom that excuse what build has said as simply manipulation on poi’s part. it’s a very difficult issue, because on the one hand you have the toxic/abusive relationship he clearly was in, and on the other you have an individual that has an enormous amount of growth to do, and an individual we all don’t know personally at that. it is, at the end of the day, a projection. who you think build is depends on your own experiences and philosophy on abuse, rehabilitation, nature vs nurture... so on and so forth.

it’s really heartbreaking to say, i’ve had so much trouble writing any vegaspete fic for a while now because however much i want to stick to the characters and not the actors, a little voice in my brain always reminds me of the whole build dilemma. and while before there might have been plausible deniability, that build had been wronged on so many fronts, now i can’t help but think of the comments he made on bible’s appearance. like did he think bible was ugly when filming with him. did he have bigoted/homophobic views as he was making vegaspete a reality, etc.

so that’s where i’m at folks. i might be able to dispassionately discuss this issue, still engage with kpts for its narrative merits, love vegaspete for what it has meant to me for over a year. but at a gut level, i can’t help it. i am an INFJ cancer moon bitch which means i make judgments with my third eye or pussy or something and i believe that’s a feature rather than a moral flaw.

i will always find sympathy for other marginalized people in fandom. i really hope your time here has been a respite, however brief, from the general shittiness of everything (at least that’s what kpts fandom has been for me). but i think the moment fandom subsumes your identity in any way, the moment you start judging emerging fandom topics as ‘us vs. them,’ you really have to take a step back and ask yourself what the real issue is.

is the real underlying issue the fandom or is it the overall lack of transparency from the person we’re debating? is it some rando on the other side of the world in a forum of 200 people or is it celebrity culture, which is opaque by design? is it social media, meant to maintain your interest, endlessly tweet, endlessly consume, keep the money making machine going with just one small nudge? with just a few well-placed hashtags? with its slot game mechanism and gambling level addictiveness and constant abstraction of real people? what is that is *really* making me angry?

because i don’t believe it’s another fan who, just like me, is trying to make it through today. that’s what i think. and that’s why i choose to step back and redirect my anger to the people with real power in this world. and that’s what i urge everyone to do when the going gets too crazy.

#thots on fandom and celebrity culture

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fnafslauofficial1987 · 1 year

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★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★

📌Pinned Post!!!

(Please Read)

My AUs📼

★FNaF Strange Lore AU (FNaFSLAU):

The first AU takes place in a meaningless universe outside the context of the games and books (as if it were a mix of FNaF World and FNaF VR) where Freddy and his friends go through great adventures and challenges

★FNaF 4 The Aftons AU (FNaF4TAAU):

The second AU takes place in 1983, where the Afton family face various difficult situations during their daily lives (the AU is more focused on the Aftons in this case)

★FNaF Security Breach Mechanical Loops AU (FNaFSBMLAU):

The third AU takes place in 2021 after the events in Security Breach, where Vanessa/Vanny manages to save Burntrap from Blob and escape the Mega Pizzaplex, and thus begins to take care of Burntrap as he is almost dying and is desperate to find a new job (and to make Vanessa's stress worse, Gregory and the Glamrocks move in with her causing a lot of confusion)

Asks❓

The ask box is always open, feel free to ask me anything about the 3 AUs or any questions, I love answering questions!!!(but please, no requests drawings, I don't do this anymore)

DNI🚫

Do not interact: Pr0shipp3rs, AI supporters, Zi0nists, LGBT+ph0bics, N4zis, NSFW and BlueyCapsules/Pinkypills/Lady Fiszi/supporters

Spam💢

Please don't spam likes, this is very annoying and causes problems (spam = block)

⚠️Also do not follow this blog if you are an extremely sensitive person, some themes in these AUs contain violence, strong language and disturbing figures (and sometimes sus stuff )⚠️

Other Socials💬

•Insta: Fnafslauofficial

•Twitter: Fnafslauoffi87

I rarely active in this FNaF AU blog so...yeah...other accs that you can follow about my AUs!!! More active on Insta and Twitter!!!

About HCS, stories and more ⚙️

Headcanons can only be found on my Insta account (I feel more comfortable posting there)

About stories, I rarely write stories and I confess that I'm not very good at story ideas (feel free to give ideas but I won't accept NSFW or anything problematic)

And with comics it's the same case with stories, I rarely do them and publish them here, on Insta and Twitter, I do a lot of Securitus Bretus comics but I'm also planning other comic ideas, and I also do minicomics

Thanks for reading!!!🍕

★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★

Hashtags⬇️

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tulpafcker · 1 year

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yeah reading that webebed comic is making me think about like. growing up On Line and knowing there was something wrong with me, KNOWING i had a personality disorder and just not knowing Which One, but knowing it was most likely one of the two that people dont give much sympathy to

but then also being surrounded by people who do the same things i did and DIDN'T have those disorders

is such... a wild fucking experience. i joke like "haha more people should think theyre a sociopath growing up, it humbles you and makes you painfully aware of how people see the shit youre doing" but like, even if the people i knew thought that of themselves, they wouldnt care! theyd brush it off or think theyre one of the good ones (tm) with no self reflection!! and thats because I did it!!

like. as a teenager, i genuinley thought "its not that i dont FEEL remorse, its just that i havent done anything that was bad enough to feel remorse over!" and concluded that i didn't have aspd

like. i was simultaneously self aware and not self aware, except since i was more self aware than most, it was easy for me to believe that nothing escaped my field of view

and even to this day, it's like... why?? i was in a whole fucking group of remorseless assholes who were overly violent about people we didnt like! we were ALL quick to turn on each other, and we were just a small group of a huger group! we couldnt ALL have aspd?? and WE DONT!!! WE DIDNT!!!

some of them were just being teenagers, some of them have other shit wrong with them that they either got help for or... didn't.

its just. aaaaa!! and yes depending on who it was directed on, my anger issues and impulsivity were both used to help the group and ostracize me! my friends LIKED when i could turn on people on a dime and drive them out of the group if they did something percieved as Bad. some of them genuinley WERE horrifically manipulative people and it was good that they got out of there SOMEhow. but they got out because the server admin was too pussy to do her job and Administrate The Server so it was My job. but if the admin herself or her friends hurt me (for instance, by saying that i was selfish for wanting to kill myself,) then suddenly i was scary and irrational and couldnt be trusted. fun!

and this suuuucks but wrt the webbe comic i see myself a lot in gage in that his Go To Excuse (im traumatized!!!) was MY go to excuse back in the day. plus i struggle w like. just because i dont MEAN to be manipulative, doesnt mean that i cant BE manipulative, plus its not the other partys fault for feeling manipulated

gage is lowkey also kinda unempathetic to milo cuz he finds milo annoying at times and uhhh thats a hashtag struggle of hashtag mine

and like. id never date an actual fucking murderer (but then again i can just SAY anything. in another life i could see myself justifying it if i was in a worse spot) but the reaction towards gage vs milo by the commentors of the comic is telling imo

in that gage (as far as we know) has been thru shitty situations and we dunno how he grew up yet (or maybe we do idk im not done) and he has maladaptive, manipulative, and hurtful coping mechanisms just like milo does but in the comments milo is seen as a wrong but still sympathetic guy while gage.. isnt

and thags kind of how it felt, yk. growing up the way i did. like i wasnt the best person but neither were the other guys but they got sympathy because they *appeared* good and pitiable and soft, they were treated like flawed yet human individuals going thru it, and i was lowkey dehumanized even before i ever really thought i had Dehumanized Implicitly Personality Disorder

ALSO the "sorry for saying s*ciopath i didnt mean to offend people w aspd" part in the comic Gets Me because there are people who do say that BUT thats the begining and end of anything they say abt aspd and its kiiind of hurting it ngl

cuz like. i agree honestly! i think people should maybe not say sociopath as freely as they do anymore. for one its not used diagnostically anymore and for two; in the layperson, the word paints a picture of a very stereotypical moviefied version of someone with aspd. so not only is it not used medically, its used in a way that dehumanizes people with actual aspd- in fact a lot of people dont even know that its CALLED aspd!

and of course, Not Saying Sociopath Anymore isnt gonna solve ableism (i learned the term aspd from an Ableist Video after all) but like. it would be nice? maybe?? to have the basic decency to not be referred to by a word thats used to either treat me like a dogshit criminal implicitly OR sell a warped version of the thing i struggle with to hollywood audiences and or true crime affecionados

but because of people who ONLY say that stuff and nothing else, the notion isnt really taken seriously by anyone and is brushed off as Stupid Internet Stuff + a smattering of "if you REALLY had REAL aspd you wouldnt CARE wether or not someone called you a sociopath!!!"

which of course is ironically another example of ableism not being solved by Changing Terms but uhh yeah since the fauxtivist puriteen blogs r where a lot of people first heard of the concept its IMMIDIATLEY written off as stupid internet stuff and i just think its very very funny that milo webcomicboy said that just like. as a microcosm of him? say/do shit that sounds progressive but does stuff that actually is either a) irrelevant or b) hurts people more than it helps them

also just bc i relate to gage doesnt mean i like him theyre all pieces of shit. i like him as a character not as a person. everyone here sucks assssssssssssssss but im just. observing plus a lil like. not exactly recognition of self thru the other but "oh god that COULDVE been me if i didnt get very very very lucky" self awareness did not fix me and it did not save me but it saved me just a leeeeeeeeettle bit and thats enough babeyyy

if this makes no sense im SORRY ive been soo traumatixed also im LITERALLY neurodivergent and a minor???? ugh!!!

(nah fr fr it is late as all fuckkkkk idk if this is coherent. if its not just shhhhh let it fade into obscurity thanks i appreciste it)

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chaotic-queer-disaster · 2 years

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hey about the recent post about the paranoid thoughts, just wanted to encourage you to bring that up with a therapist if you haven't already! no matter what mental illness causes it, it's the sort of symptom that's good to catch and treat early. (almost positive that's not a symptom of autism, I get that sort of thing when things are going badly for me with anxiety or paranoia. autistic people are more likely to have mental illnesses bc society but not a symptom of autism directly). if this is preachy or obnoxious though feel free to tell me to fuck off haha

first of all it's not preachy nor obnoxious! it's not common on tumblr dot hell to get an anon that says "hey take care of yourself" instead of "die" or smth. This is very kind (/gen).

secondly: i would bring it up, but i live in a place in which the nearest access to therapy is a two hour round trip and i can't drive ;-; (hashtag rural canadian life). i was in online therapy, but that actually ended very recently and I'm unable to get any similar stuff at the moment.

I've mostly been using... like... online references for paranoia-related disorders. Bc even though I don't have any of them in the sense that I don't fit their criteria in full, the resources still help me somewhat. (That's actually part of what the post was about. Like, ppl with focus issues but no ADHD benefit from learning ADHD coping mechanisms anyway.)

& yeah it's definitely not an autism symptom. Autistic people are more likely to be paranoid, but it's not caused by autism in and of itself.

anyway thank you for the care! I am trying to find resources to help me and I do plan to bring it up whenever I can get into therapy again (fingers crossed for the next school year lmao), but it was very kind of you to check in. Have a nice day :D

#asks #anon #nice asks

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what-if-nct · 2 years

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i have a confession again-

the first few times we chatted, wasn’t me… it was my friend…

*le gasp*

alright, so the time that i was talking about the phone case and also the story wasn’t actually me. in fact, the reason why my friend pretended that i was speaking was because he felt like his presence was cursed.

meaning if he spoken to you in his actual account, he felt like you may hate him and then ignore him like what a lot of people do online.

he hasn’t been feeling good ever since that discord chat with the person telling him that he was a bad shawol and now his confidence level went low as well as his mental health as the situation just gets worse. he’s recovering now by the way and would like to chat to people like a kpop buddy.

he’s really sweet and he often thinks about others first instead of himself. he loves to dance to kpop songs in his room and write his stories on his phone. he’s really creative and is very passionate about nude art. so much that drawing nude art of jonghyun gives him joy and peace. he’s also practicing realism so he could confidently share it with people, mainly those he knew. which was the reason why he made a jonghyun drawing account where he could show me and his friends some art he has been trying to do and since he felt like tumblr was more like a nice space for artists, he would try to add some hashtags so he could find more likeminded people, but it only ever showed up some judgemental people.

also, he does make a little NSFW art as well which was mainly something he does for fun because he always wanted to make it ever since he learned about rule 34 and all that, but he didn’t know how to label his account as nsfw and even if he could, his friends may not be able to access the blog.

you may or may not know the blog’s name but due to the fact that he wants to keep himself private and doesn’t want anyone to blast him out on the internet, i think i would rather dm you the name. but yeah… he has been harassed for making art when really it was a coping mechanism for him. he likes nude art wether it’s rule 34 or not he has always had a passion for making something like that. now, his blog is now privated due to the amount of harassment he has received but he does show me some of his art in dms from time to time but since you cannot make a group chat since that has been taken off years prior (i believe), that’s why he made a blog, and plus we (including him) were new to tumblr which is why we didn’t know which hashtag to use so we would used literally everything that describes the picture such as #kpop #jonghyun #shinee and etc. people had rudely told us to not over tag our posts and due to the nature of their asks, we literally backfired back at them with some of my friends telling them that he’s new to tumblr and doesn’t understand how it works yet.

but he’s fine now and he even changed his url due to privacy in his name. he doesn’t want to be involved in anything and rather stick to his own fans on wattpad since that is his safe place.

if you’d like i could send you his url so you can chat with him and if he asks who are you, just say that i sent you because you’re a mutual. it may take him a while to open up (especially on social media) but trust me he’s so sweet and i promise that you’ll be such a nice friend to him!

frick- don’t know if i mentioned it but he was the one who was talking about the bling bling phone case which was few weeks ago so i don’t expect you to remember but yea… that was actually his art and not mine. although he did asked if i wanted one as well. (that’s how cute he is heheh-)

It really suck his experience in the fandom has scared him away from interacting with fandom. It wasn't fair for other fans to attack for miss tagging. Especially since you were new. I had a blog with a friend and she would over tag and we got kind of mean messages. And it sucks like she was just tagging as appropriately as she could, I honestly undertag cause I hate tagging I'm to the point if I can just put Haechan or Hendery thats all I'm going to do. I don't even like adding incorrect nct texts\quotes. And there is beautiful in nsfw are and if it makes him happy it genuinely isn't hurting anyone and he shouldn't be made to feel bad for it. And I would never ever ever ignore someone or turn anyone away unless someone is mean. Even then I'd still try to communicate. So he shouldn't feel afraid to talk to me. And he sounds like a wonderful person and if he'd like you can give me his url and tell him to come by anytime he wants oh by the way @hyunjins-fat-gf is my main blog so if that blog follows you, it's me. She is me I am her

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