for the occasion of national women’s day shoutout to my favorite hatchetfield women reblog this post and add yours
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WAIT WAIT WAIT. THE FUCKING "THIS IS THE BRIDGE WHERE WE GLOBALISE EVERYTHING" LINE FROM TGWDLM. PAUL'S WITNESS PROTECTION NAME IS BEN BRIDGES. ITS BEEN FIVE YEARS HOW DID I ONLY JUST NOTICE THAT
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Pokey: Welcome to the first meeting of the "Fuck Paul Matthews" club! Members, please introduce yourselves. 😊
Emma, Mr. Davison, Greenpeace Girl, Melissa, Bill, and Ted, sweating: Um, I think we misunderstood what this club was about.
Pokey: No…. you were right. 😔
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Ted: I said you could bring one friend, Peter
Pete, gesturing to Steph, Grace, Richie, and Ruth: they don't come separately!
Ruth: yeah, we're pack animals, Ted!
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Group therapy session (because they need it):
Lex: so yeah. Turns out this eldritch spider wasn’t an imaginary friend and was, in fact a horror beyond human comprehension who was very nice and tried to protect me and my sister.
Pete, under his breath: I wish the goat bastard was like that.
Therapist: Pete, care to elaborate?
Pete: It’s nothing. Just a goat monster that only my brother and I can see. He’s obsessed with Ted. Laughs too much.
Richie: My monster laughs too. But it’s less of a laugh-laugh, more of a fucked up giggle.
Therapist:
Therapist:
Therapist: okay, raise your hand if you or anyone in your family can see an ‘eldritch horror’ that nobody else can see
Lex: *raises hand*
Pete: *raises hand*
Richie: *raises hand*
Ruth: *raises hand*
Grace: *raises hand* my aunt Jeri saw him first but now I see him too
Alice: *raises hand* he never stops singing
Therapist:
Therapist: okay so let’s process that…
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AND I KNOW THIS IS GONNA SOUND CRAZY AND NOT VERY SCARY BUT IT IS SCARY IF YOU THINK ABOUT THE IMPLICATIONS—PROMISE ME YOU’LL THINK ABOUT THE IMPLICATIONS!—I THINK THE WORLD IS BECOMING A MUSICAL. DON’T SAY ANYTHING, LET IT SINK IN . . . OK, NOW, ARE YOU FRIGHTENED????
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