#the fact that soren never knew he had a family that loved him and would have forever if he wasn’t taken from them | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

mandaloriandragontrainer · 1 year

Text

Summary: After returning from Umber Tor, Callum and Rayla have a much-needed conversation.

Word count: 3153

Rating: General

~~~

The sun hung low in the sky as Zubeia carried them back to the Storm Spire. It was a far quieter trip than Rayla expected, the archdragon falling silent once filled in on the events that unfolded beneath Umber Tor. The great queen was afraid, Rayla realized, and so was she. Her worst nightmare had come to life. Viren was alive, poised to let loose the greatest evil in existence upon a defenseless world. But somehow, that didn’t matter as much as the three golden coins clutched in her fist.

Or the fact that Callum was at least sitting next to her now.

It was weird to be back. Back sleeping in the Dragonguard quarters her parents called home for years. Back in the place Callum first declared his undying love for her. It was so hard not to think about the last time she was here. Callum holding her, kissing her, whispering the sweetest promises against her ear, the very same day he'd swooped down from the heavens and rescued her from certain death, like the hero of some great love ballad she would've rolled her eyes at as a wee one. How full of hope and promise and miracles everything had seemed, even if just for that moment.

Now it all seemed a lifetime ago.

Soren wanted to start making a plan right away (said he’d been in pajamas long enough), but Zubeia insisted they all rest. Rayla felt like a fool hoping Callum would choose to sleep near her, even more so when he dumped his things by the bed Ezran was already asleep in, Zym cuddled atop him like an oversized dog. She was stupid, selfish even, to think he'd do otherwise.

She settled down in the small alcove her parents once shared, something she only knew because of the small picture of herself she’d found, tucked beneath the pillow, after the battle two years before. The memory stung at her eyes as she nestled under the sheets. They were dusty enough, but it was good to be in an actual bed again. Stella snuggled under her arm and blinked curiously at her as she gently rolled the coins from their pouch onto the bed beside her, her fingers carefully tracing the anguished faces etched in the metal. Mum. Dad. Runaan. Her stomach turned each time she saw them, reliving the terror of their final moments—her father's steely determination, her mother's desperate wail, Runaan's terrified scream.

"Can ya hear me?" she asked quietly, not sure if she even wanted to know the answer.

"Rayla?"

She scrambled upright, nearly launching poor Stella onto the floor. The cuddlemonkey huffed in surprise and skittered beneath the bed. "Callum! I thought ya'd be sleepin' already."

"I sent a crow back to Katolis," he rubbed the back of his neck. “Well, it wasn't a crow, it was a—never mind. I, uh, asked them to send me that spellbook. The one that I read about the... coin spell in."

"Oh," Rayla hugged her knees to her chest. She’d briefly shown him the coins during the flight back to the Spire, struggling to explain what she couldn’t understand herself. Once the shock of the revelation passed, Callum had recalled skimming over such a spell in one of Viren’s old tomes, long since banished to a storage chamber when found to contain only dark magic. “Thank you.”

He nodded, taking a step closer to the bed. His voice was soft, a familiar tone he hadn’t used since they reunited. "May I... see them?"

"Yeh..." Rayla gently gathered her family, her breath hitching slightly when Callum sat at the foot of the bed. She dropped her head so he wouldn’t see the flush crossing her cheeks as she placed the coins beside him.

"Hmm," the mage’s brow furrowed as he examined the wretched objects, carefully turning them in his hands before returning them to Rayla. He stole a glance at her, if only for a second or two, opening his mouth to speak but pausing for a moment. "I... I can't imagine what you're feeling."

Rayla bit her lip, not wanting to cry in front of him. "I just... I just have so many questions." She cradled the coins against her heart. "Are they... awake, I guess? Are they feelin' things? Do they know that I found them?" The tears slipped away from her. "Are they scared or... or hurtin'?" She looked up and met Callum's gaze, the gentleness in his eyes just making her want to cry harder. "And—and if we get them out, will I even have them back? Or will they just be... dead... but—but for real this time?" She could feel herself losing control, sobs escaping her, and she didn’t even know why… grief or fear or anger or relief or some messy mix of all of them. "I—I just want them back… they're right here in mah hands, and yet I—I don't even know if they're… dead or alive or somethin’ worse! Callum, I just want them back!”

She pressed her fist to her mouth to stifle the sobs that spilled out anyway, ashamed of her outburst, grasping the bed to keep herself from falling flat on her face. How she wanted him to hold her, the thought of his warm arms around her neck offering the only tether to sanity she could think of.

Then Callum placed his hand on hers, and it was as if he’d thrown her a lifeline. Panting gave way to deep breaths as she composed herself, wiping her nose in the crook of her arm as inconspicuously as she was able. “I—I’m sorry, I, uh… I’m sorry….”

“It’s fine,” Callum slowly took his hand back. “I get it.” He paused again, and Rayla could see the thoughts flickering through his eyes. “We’ll get them out.”

Something that felt like hope rose in her chest. “We?”

He looked at her, and Rayla immediately regretted speaking. For a moment, she thought he might leave, shut her down again, but instead he just… sat, stared, finally turning his attention back to the same blank spot on the wall he’d been fixing his eyes to earlier.

“Yeah. I guess.”

Another lull of silence, and Rayla decided to try her luck again. “Are ya—are ya… ready tae talk now?”

He snorted. But he didn’t leave. “Fine.”

Rayla drew a shaky breath. “Earlier, ya said… ya said ya were glad I came back….”

Callum scoffed, looking over at her, the softness in his eyes now replaced by anger. “Of course I’m glad!” He snapped, and Rayla knew the dam had burst. “What, you think I wanted to never know what happened to you? To just carry on with my life as if you didn’t just evaporate into thin air? You think I wouldn’t be glad to know you didn’t die a horrible death?”

“N—no, but… when I came back, you didn’t seem… I don’t know—”

“Didn’t seem what? Thrilled that you just randomly decided to pop up in my study in the dead of night acting like nothing even happened? Rayla, I spent two years with no idea what happened to you! I kept imagining all these horrible things, that you’d been ripped apart by a banther or drowned in a river or murdered by some elf-hating humans or kidnapped by a dark mage keeping you chained up for spare parts!” Callum was on his feet now, pacing, tears streaming down his face. “I dreamed about it every night!”

“Callum—”

“And you never sent word! You never thought to let me know that you weren’t dead! Why!? What is wrong with you, Rayla!?”

“I—I didn’t want—”

“Didn’t want what? For me to figure out where you were? What, did you think I was going to come after you with an army and drag you back to Katolis?”

“Of course not! I didn’t want ya comin’ after me! I wanted ya safe!”

“Yeah, so you kept saying! Why do you even care?”

“What—what kind’a question is that!?” Rayla demanded, jumping up to face Callum. “I love you, Callum! I love ya more than anythin’!”

“Rayla, you abandoned me!” he nearly screamed. “You just left me!!! You broke my heart!!!”

Callum grasped the back of his head, covering his mouth as he sobbed. “You broke my heart… I—I’d never felt so alone in all my life…. I loved you so much and you just… left me….” He looked up at her again, so much misery in his beautiful eyes that Rayla nearly fell to her knees. “And then you just… show back up, for—for no reason. And you never even said you were sorry.”

“Callum…”

“You don’t understand. I—I cried for weeks. I couldn’t eat. I couldn’t sleep. I got so sick a month into it Opeli had two different doctors come look at me.” He buried his face in his hands. “I felt like I was walking around with a knife in my chest. I wanted you back so much, I—I would’ve done anything if it meant you’d come home.” Slowly, he sank back onto the bed. “My 16th birthday… I spent the entire day in bed pretending to be sick. And this year, I—I figured I’d just ignore it, but then Ez threw me this really nice surprise party, and I spent the whole time crying on the balcony and looking at the moon. Because all I could think of was you.” Finally, he lifted his bloodshot eyes to meet hers, and instantly his gaze held her captive. “You… you said you loved me. And then you went and…. left me. You….” his next words were little more than a whisper. “You destroyed me.”

“Callum….” Rayla’s shoulders heaved, a wave of nausea sweeping over her. “Callum, I never meant tae… I—I knew it would hurt but—but I never thought ya’d…. that I…. oh Callum I’m sorry…. I didn’t… I didn’t mean tae….”

“Rayla…. why?”

“Oh Callum,” she howled, the shame nearly crushing her. “Because ya were all I had! There was nothin’ left I loved, and I knew, I knew he was still alive and I dreamt it—I dreamt he’d take ya like he took them! I just couldn’t lose ya!”

“Rayla…” his voice was steady even as his jaw shuddered. “You did lose me.”

Callum must’ve cast some spell, Rayla thought, that drove all the air from the room. It was the only explanation for why she merely choked as she fought to breathe in, why no amount of gasping could bring any relief to her burning lungs or lift the crushing weight from the center of her chest. So it was true. Callum. The boy who’d held her as if she were the most precious gem in existence, who’d showered her with all the love in his tender heart in a way she’d never experienced. Who she’d dreamed of every night for two years, who her heart had longed to return to, aching for his love only to receive none of it. She’d thrown it all away. Her beloved Callum. Her love, her moon, her hero. He was lost to her.

She alone was to blame.

It was no less than she deserved.

“I…. I…. I—I understand,” Rayla whispered hoarsely, shivering despite the hot tears soaking her neck. She’d never felt so small in all her life. “I just…. I need’ya tae know, Callum, that I love ya. I’ll love ya forever. I know I failed ya, and I know why ya don’t feel the same way—”

“Rayla.”

He laughed bitterly and shot her a stare so sharp and biting that she longed to shrivel up and join Stella under the bed.

“You think I don’t love you?”

And somehow, it was those words that broke her.

Rayla staggered forward and crumpled down beside him, knowing if she didn’t sit down she well may faint. All her thoughts swirled together in a hazy soup. “Huh?”

Callum laughed again, though now more pained than angry. Fresh tears welled in his already swollen eyes. “You really think I don’t still love you?”

“I–I didn’t–I mean… but Callum, ya… ya do?”

“Rayla…” once again his voice broke. “Of course I do…”

She wasn’t sure who moved first, but suddenly they were wrapped in each other’s arms, weeping until their jaws were sore and their throats raw. When Callum at last spoke, it seemed to Rayla that hours had passed, and yet no time at all. “I–I tried so hard…” he whispered raggedly. “I tried to stop loving you. To hate you or forget you or whatever it took to make the hurting stop. But no matter how much I wanted to, I—I never could. I just never could. And I was so angry… I–I’m still so angry, but I… I never stopped loving you. I still do. I always will.”

“Callum…” Rayla turned her face from his chest, leaning back to look him in the eye. “I’m so sorry, Callum. I didn’t mean… oh I never meant tae hurt ya like this. I couldn’t bear the thought of a world without ya in it. I couldn’t bear it if I lost ya….” She let her eyes fall. “But I just got so tired. Runnin’ around, findin’ nothin’ at all despite searchin’ with everythin’ I had. I got sick of it, and I started worryin’ that I’d spend the rest of mah life out there just lookin’ for somethin’ I was never gonna find, and–and I knew it was selfish but I just couldn’t take it any longer. I had to see ya again. And I thought… it was stupid, but I thought maybe if I acted like everythin’ was still the same, then maybe it would be. That we could just… pick up where we left off…” She sighed and pinched between her eyes. “But ya were right. I did lose ya. I lost what we had. I ruined it…”

“Yeah…” Callum agreed. “You did.”

A tense, still moment passed, the only sound that of their quiet sniffling. Guilt darkened Rayla’s cheeks as she hid her face.

“But…” Callum grabbed her hand before she could completely turn away, his thumb running softly over her knuckles. “Rayla, I… I still want you to be with me. I spent so long thinking that I’d never see you again that I guess a part of me thought I’d accepted you were gone, so when you came back I just… didn’t know how to feel. I was so happy you were safe but so…. so angry at you. But then today, when–when I thought you were dead…” he squeezed his eyes shut, struggling not to relive the horrible moment. “I just couldn’t stand it. Losing you again, forever…if you were really gone, I think it would’ve killed me. Rayla, I want things to be like they were with us. I don’t want to live without you. I want you back. I really do. But you need to…” His voice trailed off, and Rayla clasped his hand in return.

“What do I need tae do?” she asked, hoping he wouldn’t repeat his ridiculous request to kill him.

“Stay.”

With his hand, Callum closed the inches, the miles, between them, resting it on top of hers. “I’m angry at you, Rayla. I think I will be for a long time. I don’t understand why you thought you had to leave, but…” he exhaled and gently folded her hand into his fist. “I–I believe you when you say that you… that you did it because you love me, even if I don’t get it. But Rayla, listen to me.” His voice was quiet, yet resolute. “Never, ever do this to me again. You say you can’t bear to lose me, but I can’t bear to lose you either. Not again. Do not make me lose you again. In the tunnels, you told me no one gets to make my choices for me. And that includes you. You don’t get to decide I’m safest without you. I choose to be with you, no matter the risks. It’s my choice. Don’t take it away from me.”

Rayla swallowed the lump welling in her throat and nodded. “I won’t, Callum. I won’t leave ya, not again. I–I promise. I swear it.”

“You hurt me. More than I ever thought possible. It still hurts. But I think… I know that’s why it hurts,” Callum smiled, small and soft, but it was still that same smile that made her all dizzy and fluttery. “Because I love you. I love you, Rayla.”

“Oh Callum,” Rayla’s heart soared. “I love you, too. So, so much.”

Callum didn’t leave, keeping his big hand folded around hers, tenderly stroking her fingers. How Rayla longed for him to hold her, to kiss her, but she thrilled at his touch nonetheless. Eventually, his eyes drooped shut, and soon after she could hear his adorable little snores. She was grateful for the brave little wisps of moonlight that found their way into the chambers, letting her see him just a little while longer before she too gave in to her exhaustion. Callum had always been so cute when he was sleeping, his face smooshed against the blankets and his mouth twitching into little smiles and frowns as he dreamed. Even now, with his once fluffy hair cropped to the side and boyish cheeks sharpened by a masculine jaw, he was still the same sweet boy who’d stolen her heart.

The only man she would ever love.

A soft plunk drew Rayla’s attention. “Hey, Stella,” she tickled under her little friend’s chin with a soft giggle. The cuddlemonkey licked her mama’s nose before curiously sniffing at her hand, still intertwined with Callum’s. “Shhh, mah wee one, don’t wake him.”

With a light chitter, Stella leapt over Rayla and onto the pillow, her eyes wide and shiny as she gathered the small leather pouch resting on it into her greedy little paws.

“Stella, no, put that down, sweetie!” Rayla scolded nervously, not wanting to pull her hand from Callum’s but also worried her pet may send the precious coins through a portal to join the rest of her sparkly treasures. To her relief, Stella merely hopped back, stashing the pouch against Rayla’s chest before nestling into her side, tail tucked beneath her chin as she trilled contentedly.

With her free hand, Rayla pressed the coins to her heart, close enough that her parents would feel its beating, should such a thing be possible. A tear slipped down her cheek, as if she hadn’t already wept enough.

Her whole world, resting here beside here, held tenderly against her. For so long now, she hadn’t dared, but now, even if just for tonight, Rayla let herself hope.

#read here or on ao3 #the dragon prince #callum #rayla #rayllum #callum x rayla #tdp fanfic #mando writes

57 notes · View notes

polkanight · 1 year

Text

Can we talk about Soren? I want to talk about Soren.

(I may eventually talk about Claudia in another post but I’m not certain)

(also SPOILERS FROM TDP SEASON4)

So, I’m watching tdp from season 1 and knowing how things unfold, my stomach churns by seeing how Viren treats BOTH Soren and Claudia, but I want to focus on Soren bc he’s closer to my experience as the child of a narcissist parent.

Being the child of a NP (someone who’s emotionally immature and relies on their children to meet their needs), on your teen years, felt like walking on thin ice 24/7. I never knew what would trigger a critic, a snark comment about my body, my intelligence, my ability to compromise and to finish tasks, etc.

I was, more than once, called silly, dumb, aloof, to watch my weight, to watch how I dress, etc, etc. all of that coated with the premise of love, of “I’m teaching you how to do things”, of “I’m your tutor, your mentor, your only friend, your only safe harbor”, someone, the only one I could “rely on”.

This comes at the cost of the development of our sense of self-worth. As child of NP parents notice this, we’re taken by an anger, a strong desire to put up distance from NP and at the same time the utter panic of not being able to do it, being triggered when we get a message or a visit by NP. It's also very interesting to see how Soren and Claudia developed these issues in very distinct ways, but both triggered by being raised as someone who most likely is a NP.

(look at him defying the idea that magic- the very craft of Viren, the sole identity of Claudia - is something all-positive to be ever-cherished)

Growing up, we learn that our mood revolves around our NP, and no matter what we do, we know we’ll never get the approval or even the sympathy of the NP. They carry the room with them, their needs, ideas and wants must always be a priority, even if it means dragging the house down.

I’ll quote this:

“Until they have a need that’s being met.”

And here my Soren dam cracked in s4, and my heart races and my breath catches for a fictional little boy.

You should stop if you don’t want Spoilers of S4.

I had a really REALLY REALLY hard time when Soren finds Claudia and I anticipated that he would eventually find out Viren was alive, but I honestly wasn’t ready for his talk with Claudia, and I also have a few cents to spare.

Claudia tells Soren that “Humans understand suffering because it goes back over generations.”

And Soren is trying to his deep, beautiful, bright core to break this cycle of resentment, violence and remorse. (mygod he’s so precious god help me)

Then, Claudia comes in with the (involuntary/naturalized) family blackmail.

“Without magic you would be dead. Without dad’s magic.”

The guilty trip, being indebted, being trapped in the cycle, but we want out, and to hell with what we owe. We owe them nothing, because they took our sense of self and we build it from the entangled emotional mess that it is our heart.

I can see his face looking up at the image of his until-then deceased parent, I think I will carry this for a long while because I had no idea how it would affect me, but the fact is that more than once, a child of a NP parent will think of how things will be by the time the NP is “gone for good”.

I give zero fucks if people think this is ungrateful, spiteful, selfish, mean, cruel, but the fact is that being stripped of your self-steem and of the ability to grow to the things you love, to grow to life, is the spiteful, selfish and mean thing.

When he tells Claudia that they don’t have to do what Viren wants, he’s expressing a well-known mixture of pain, guilt and relief by thinking the NP is dead.

They aren’t around anymore, the weight of their impossible standards are over, we are free from their grasp, we can pursue our passions, we can thrive in our relationships with people from out of our blood relatives circle. If it seems exaggerated, it’s because these are all things that the NP meet with cynicism. There is “no life, no real friends, nothing can replace your family”. And I say that’s bullshit.

Whereas I have relatives that I truly love, I have friends who have provided growth, patience, love and support, we have learned from each other, we have fought and forgive, we give each other space when needed, we are not seen as an extension of their self, we can be a proper person.

Can you understand how much this means to Soren? How much he thrives by being around Callum, whom is endlessly curious about magic but at the same time wary of it, by finding purpose in protecting Ezran and by fighting alongside Rayla. Soren knows and feels how he changed, he’s more confident to trust in his sense with animals (this is so beautiful too, I can’t even), and he is smart, he has such wisdom, and this is shown since s1.

I never understood people who treat him as a dumb annoying comic relief. He is the very soul of the changes that need to happen in the conflict between Xadia and Katolis, and I only hope that Viren eats an entire humble pie so he proves he’s not actually a NP and that he acts the way he does out of pure desperation and hubris.

I truly hope Viren sees his lovely, smart and incredible boy for what he really is, and not as an extension of his hurt self.

#ugh my heart #soren #this turned out longer than i expected #my boy #my meow meow #writing this made me a bit sick #I just want to roll him in a blanket and tell him stories #please protect him #tdp spoilers #tdp season 4 spoilers #tdp #claudia #callum #rayla #viren #ezran #the dragon prince

67 notes · View notes

raayllum · 11 months

Note

The shot of Rayllum arguing is underwater, friend. I repeat. It's UNDER WATER <3 The symbolism for Rayla?? Her dealing with emotions, finally? Just saying <3 I thought I'd drop that tidbit so your motif/symbolism loving heart could run wild with joy at the meaning/opportunities here. Is it possible that shot of Rayla in Viren's dungeon is her discovering the fourth coin?? Possibly Lissa? And the potential bargaining chip power that would have with Claudia? What that would do to Rayla, who's desperate to save Callum from Viren? And Aaravos?

Yeah, it seems like Domina Profundis will be guiding the Dragang and co. to some place underwater - the background looks almost reminiscent of Callum's air cool-down bubble from 4x07, with perhaps bioluminescent coral on the walls behind them

I do wonder if Rayla is with the coins and investigating the dungeons because of Runaan, or if she is finding a fourth coin in early S5. Claudia would've had no incentive to hand that one over, and it must not be a Moonshadow elf (presumably). I've always thought that the coin release wouldn't be split up - either all four are getting out, or no one is - so if Rayla did find one, that would make sense. If it was left there and thereby was never in Claudia's hands, that'd leave room for it to be someone Claudia knew, like Kpp'Ar perhaps (Viren imprisoning him to keep him quiet about whatever Viren did to save Soren, and/or Kpp'Ar possibly being a descendent of the Jailor and knowing something about Aaravos)

The storm / water / drowning has a lot of meaning for both Callum and particularly Rayla, so I expect S5 to put each of them (and their relationship) through the wringer. Callum is linked to storms/rain because of Sky and drowning due to dark magic and being unable to breathe (which Aaravos' possession harkens back to). Rayla is well - everything, water wise. And given the fact that TTM is so heavy water wise (the portal, almost drowning together, Rayla departing as it storms), it makes sense the element they fell apart with is also gonna be the element that helps restore them - from a metaphorical/symbolic standpoint, anyway. Water is about as cyclical as it gets, after all

I don't think it'd be Lissa given that we have the TDP short stories confirm that 1) Claudia saw her leave and 2) Viren confirms in the novelization that she is indeed in Del Bar, and he hasn't seen or thought of her in a long time (even if he clearly still longs for the comfort she once brought him).

Rayla has no real reason to bargain with Claudia RN in terms of something tangible (if Claudia had kept the coins, that'd be another story). I think she's still in the mindset of primarily fearing Viren and Aaravos - which "misjudge your opponent, and it's over" (1x01) as it maybe should be Claudia she's concerned with, but we'll have to wait & see.

That said: I do think the "will Rayla kill Callum while he's possessed" plot point will most likely be addressed in S5, and we'll see the lengths Rayla is willing to go to in order to save him (and her family). Just waiting to see if we'll get to see the lengths he / they will go to save her Back

#s5 spoilers #thanks for asking #tdp spoilers #s5 speculation #anonymous #morally ambiguous fam #coin theory

21 notes · View notes

frauleindermorgen · 1 year

Text

conscious only of my own happiness

It takes two nights before you finally settle into the village enough to relax and enjoy a full nights’ rest. Dreams come to you readily, but you find yourself lucid in them, able to control your own body and interact with the world. And it’s a paradise. Everything you could possibly want is at your fingertips, even loved ones who have long-since departed from the world are here and whole. [...] with a twist! for @atypicalsenerio

It isn’t a typical job for the Greil Mercenaries, though Micaiah supposes she can’t really know that having been with them for a little less than a year; though they certainly are not a typical band of their profession in her opinion at least, else they never would have thought to take in she and Sothe when they were mere stowaways.

(Micaiah had felt uneasy that entre boat ride, and for some reason Sothe being near her – telling her he’d protect her – had only made it worse. She’s thankful for the distraction being discovered had provided, and even more thankful they had been kept onboard at all).

She isn’t even sure why they should be making for the capitol of Daein if this medallion they are transporting is linked to a temple in Begnion of all places, but she can put the clues together that it has something to do with Commander Ike’s father. Neither he or Mist have been the same since Greil’s passing, and when Ike had told the party that he was in fact also born in that cold country the pieces had seemed to fit.

She just isn’t sure she wants to be in Nevassa, palace or no. It’s odd – moving through the streets, looking at how things have changed since the plague – Micaiah feels like there should be warmth or nostalgia welling up within her but when she looks all she sees are unknown faces. Sothe takes her hand and Mist and Ilyana ask if she’s been eating enough – Micaiah forgets about it for a time, here with her family is all the warmth she needs.

Titania and Ike are the ones who do most of the talking in the Daein royal palace as both seem to have an in with the General Tauroneo who stands proudly at the prince Soren’s side, the dowager queen a quiet but regal presence on his other. She is introduced as the group’s tactician though and does her best to nod and look the part.

(Briefly, her eyes meet with the crown prince’s then despite herself and she feels like she’s on that boat again. Feels motion sick. She hopes she does not let it show.)

Even after they are welcomed as guests the feeling does not fade entirely, and Micaiah finds it truly perplexes her. There is nothing wrong with Prince Soren, she reasons, why just as the rest of her countrymen revere him so too should she be thankful! It was Ashnard before him who had brought about the plague Micaiah and Sothe had narrowly escaped by murdering his father in cold blood; they knew that from official magic documents and the dowager queen’s attestations, and only with the birth of a rightful, innocent heir was the goddess’s wrath appeased. Micaiah doubts none of this.

She just feels lost. Lost in a palace she’s never been to but knows all too well.

“My apologies,” Micaiah murmurs, keeping her eyes downcast when she and Prince Soren meet again by chance outside the doors of the royal library, “I hadn’t meant to leave my chambers, your Highness. I merely…”

Thought they were in another wing entirely? Because for some reason Micaiah remembers sleeping in a bed of resplendent silk near the royal wing – ridiculous, she wants to laugh at even herself.

“I think I’m lost,” she says finally, and looks up slightly. Her hands are clasped together – a nervous habit she never quite got rid of, and for some reason her right hand stings. Funny. She’d never minded the cold before, but perhaps she should acquire some gloves if they are to stay here any longer. Micaiah had simply never thought to cover her hands before.

#atypicalsenerio #thread | conscious only of my happiness #((apologies for going a little overboard with the au prompt. it will happen again.))#((i did at least give up on making the timeline work entirely bc i can throw up my hands and say dream logic!!))#((this is prob micaiah in sorens dream i realized. spicy. will they or wont they wake up? c:))

7 notes · View notes

sweet-vanilla-sims · 7 months

Text

Year 1619

TW/CW: Death, Child Death

With war on things had felt normal for only the briefest of moments since it was being fought so far away but news began to come in through Talia's Tome of deaths, most of which Vincente had no clue of who they were aside from distantly related. That said, he began to exchange notes with a young woman who lived far away which became the highlight of his day.

Perhaps it was rash but after the tragedy struck close with Samuel's death in February and then Margaret and Satoshi's in April, Vincente began to feel that life was fleeting. Frideswide advised him to follow what he thought would be best for him.

After taking the time to think it over, Vincente was convinced that waiting would be akin to tempting fate to torment his peaceful life and so he decided to bring up his idea to Adrian. He had decided that he was going to travel and bring home the young lady he had be exchanging letters with for the past few months. Adrian thought the idea was insane to travel so far for a person that his grandson hardly knew especially when he still wasn't certain what he wanted from his future but it wasn't as if Adrian could say too much about his grandson's love life considering he was chased out of his hometown for good reason because of his.

All Adrian could do for his grandson was give his blessing and prayers that his no longer very little grandson would have safe travels and the young woman would be a good match for him. Vincente appreciated his grandfather's support and that June he set off to bring home his love.

The house felt empty with just Adrian. Frideswide did blow through randomly but it was remarkably lonely. The famine in Mt.Komorebi took both Terric's wife and youngest daughter while the war in the west took his grandson Barnaby. So much death in other places made the tranquility of Tartosa feel surreal.

A new guest arrived at the home in early August as Frideswide was shocked to find her brother-in-law at her door. He explained that with Watson fighting at the front his parents were wanting him to take over the farm but he felt it wasn't his place since the home should have gone to Watson and therefore, Angus and Ferdinando. So he decided to head to Tartosa since it was peaceful and he could keep clear of being given something he felt shouldn't be his.

Frideswide was glad for his company. After catching up about the state of the Carlisles he had left back in Henford, Frideswide took it upon herself to introduce him to the people she knew in Tartosa if only to ignore the fact that Soren had grown up to be quite handsome, that was a line she was not going to cross. Luckily, Soren felt the same and soon found himself daydreaming about the women of the Laurent family. There was the lovely noblewoman herself, Sofia, and there was her lady-in-waiting, Faustina Jaleel. Both of the women had caught Soren's eye and he could only dream of catching their attention.

November came around and it was clear that after trying again, Grace and Aurelio were expecting their third child. Ignacio had made it clear he wished for a boy but after two girls, Grace was also hoping for a son if only for the novelty.

December brought with it terrible news for Frideswide and Soren, Watson had died in the war. From what they gathered from his parents through Talia's tome, he had gotten injured but the method didn't matter too much since for them it was heartbreaking to know he was gone. Frideswide never really thought herself as old enough to be a widow but now she was one. The war was making war widows left and right.

Adrian tried to cheer her up but it was hard to all things considered.

What really lifted the spirits of the home was Vincente coming home with his love, Alexis Akiyama. The young woman was still a stranger to the household but after months of travel with Vincente the pair were close and the love between the two was sickly sweet.

Alexis did her best around the household from making fast friends with Frideswide to getting into the habit of tending the crops.

Vincente had waited until Alexis had settled into his home before formally proposing though the entire household knew that it was merely a formality since he had literally travelled months just to bring her home with him.

Adrian knew Alexis the second he saw her but it took him a few days for the realization to set in. His niece Rebecca was the girl's grandmother. It was weird to think that the little girl he had left behind in Henford had not only passed a long while back but was the grandmother of a child of marrying age even though he knew that there was a lot more he had missed from back home. Life went on with his family when he wasn't paying attention and the girl before him was proof of it.

Surprising no one four days after Vincente and Alexis had arrived in Tartosa, the two wed on December 6th. Thankfully no other news in the family had come through and so the Carlisles were glad that despite the losses, the decade at least ended with a union of young love.

#Adrian Carlisle #Frideswide Carlisle #Grace Robles #Vincente Carlisle #Soren Carlisle #Alexis Akiyama #Alexis Carlisle #The Carlisle Chronicles #Decades Legacy Challenge #tw death #tw child death #cw death #cw child death #1619 #1610s #ts4

1 note · View note

red-eft · 2 months

Note

ooo 1-2, 10-11, 20-21, 30-31, 40-41, and 50-51 for Ruarc and Fiensal... >:)

waoo thank you for the ask!! slapping this under a readmore since it got really long. like im not kidding this is probably the longest post i've ever made 😭

quick overview of my story setting for my new mutuals/those unfamiliar with it- my story takes place in a post-apocalyptic fantasy world. the world was basically just like ours, but then there was an apocalypse where magic came into existence and society had to recover after being set back a couple hundred years. the story i'm writing takes place about 250 years after the apocalypse. ruarc is the protagonist. there are elves and dragons and stuff . yay

1. what’s the lie your character says most often?

ruarc lies about what he is. he calls himself a human, or even a "dragon-hearted human" but he's literally just a dragon whsdklf

fiensal’s most frequent lie is probably “i’m fine.” he tends to push himself too far too often, and then his chronic pain will flare up. his friends and family frequently ask how he’s feeling to try and look after him, but he has a very good poker face when he lies.

2. how loosely or strictly do they use the word ‘friend’?

ruarc doesn’t use it very strictly. if you’ve done him a favor, he'll call you his friend. easy as that... though in reality, he doesn't actually consider anyone a friend until they've known each other for a few months and he feels like he can truly trust them. lorne, ivy, cordelia, and fiensal are probably the only people he actually considers his friends.

in stark contrast, fiensal is very hesitant to call anyone a friend, even if he thinks of them as one. it takes a while for him to use the actual word aloud or in writing.

10. what fact do they excitedly tell everyone about at every opportunity?

at first, ruarc doesn't really share anything with others unless he's been asked to or the situation requires it. once he gets comfortable around someone, though, he's happy to tell them random facts about his interests every now and then.

fiensal enjoys telling people facts about the pre-apocalypse world. while he wasn't alive in that era, ydrenth was, and she taught him all about it. his favorite fact to share is that there used to be the internet, where you could instantly talk with someone across the globe and have all the world's information available with the press of a button hgfdhgh

11. if someone was impersonating them, what would friends / family ask or do to tell the difference?

they’d ask ruarc to shapeshift into his full dragon form, since he’s the only guy around that can do that. if shapeshifting isn't an option, then lorne would ask him something in his language. only ruarc's friends know he can speak that language, and it's not a common one, so it would become obvious if someone was trying to impersonate him.

if someone was impersonating fiensal… they’d ask him to tell them about his parents. he never actually knew them, but only those closest to him know this, so it’d be an easy way to tell who the real one is.

20. who do they like as a person but hate their work? vice versa, whose work do they like but don’t like the person?

ruarc likes his father, soren, as a person while hating the work he does. soren is the head of the noble house- house vargoba. they're in constant competition with other nobles for all kinds of reasons. soren is vicious politically and will basically stop at nothing to ruin his opponents. ruarc hates this. however, soren is a pretty good father and does have a much softer side when he's not trying to make house vargoba more powerful.

fiensal hates ydrenth (magic user), but loves her work- she’s the greatest mage that’s ever lived, how could he not be impressed by what she does? he hates how she uses it, though (necromancy) and also just. hates her as a person LOL

21. what common etiquette do they disagree with? do they still follow it?

ruarc disagrees with a lot of "noble" etiquette - fancy rules that serve no purpose other than showing you were born into the "right" family and grew up as a noble. he upholds etiquette when meeting with noble houses other than the one he was born into, but when with his own family, he'll do little things that go against etiquette on purpose. he's a little rebel.

fiensal doesn't really like typical elvish etiquette since he grew up apart from them. he doesn't have a problem with the etiquette itself- more so that whenever he encounters it, he's expected to know it and it makes him feel alienated. poor guy.

30. when they make a mistake and feel bad, does the guilt differ when it’s personal versus when it’s professional?

ruarc was raised to keep his emotions separate from his work as a noble, so he doesn’t feel as guilty when he makes a professional mistake compared to when he messes up personally. this changes when he leaves house vargoba, though :)

fiensal feels guilt the same way in professional and personal situations. he's got that catholic kind of guilt that people like to meme on where he carries it with him constantly and blames himself for basically everything that goes wrong.

31. when do they feel the most guilt? how do they respond to it?

ruarc feels the most guilt when he accidentally hurts his friends. he cares for them deeply and is terrified they might retaliate or end the friendship over the smallest things. he feels very guilty that he ever could hurt the people that trust him.

fiensal feels a lot of guilt whenever he thinks too long about his apprenticeship with ydrenth. she taught him so much about dark magic and how to use it over the course of a decade. but his body almost shut down from overexposure/overuse, and she refused to teach him any more because he was too weak.

without another magic user to kinda keep her in check/ensure she used dark magic ethically, ydrenth began practicing necromancy and harming others for her own personal gain (for those unfamiliar with my story- she's the antagonist). fiensal feels incredible guilt over this. he believes it was his fault for being too weak. if he'd been stronger, he could have been there to stop her from becoming such a vile person. oh well!

40. how do they respond to a loose handshake? what goes through their head?

ruarc immediately gets the impression that the person with the loose handshake is weaker than him and that he has some kind of advantage over them for that. then he immediately feels a little bit bad about it and tries to ignore the thought.

fiensal would be a little surprised, but he probably gives a pretty delicate handshake himself because of his joint problems/chronic pain. he’d be a little relieved that they’re being gentle with him and wouldn’t think too much of it.

41. what phrases, pronunciations, or mannerisms did they pick up from someone/somewhere else?

ruarc grew up in a noble house, so he starts out speaking a little more formally than most people do, but as he meets people from other walks of life, he starts speaking more casually. he also adds a lot to his vocabulary from lorne (who speaks a different common tongue, since he’s from a different country) and ivy + fiensal (who speak elvish). ruarc also displays some draconic mannerisms like tilting his head to the side, flexing his claws, etc. whenever he’s shapeshifted to have those features.

thanks to his decade-long apprenticeship with ydrenth, who was alive pre-apocalypse, fiensal grew up with a lot of “old-world” phrases and mannerisms. he would 100% know some slang from the internet today. he also spells and pronounces some words differently since language would probably change post-apocalypse (no internet, limited communication and public education for a while)

50. what belief/moral/personality trait do they stand by that you (mun) personally don’t agree with?

ruarc believes the ends justify the means as long as they’re for the greater good (read: his own perception of what's good). collateral damage is worth it in the end. however, he grows out of this mindset when he leaves his house vargoba and begins caring about others more :x

fiensal thinks lying is bad and opposes it strongly- but he lies pretty often, which makes him a hypocrite wksdfkh

51. what’s a phrase they say a lot?

ruarc says

fiensal says a lot of old-world phrases. if someone surprised him, he'd say "oh my god" in singular form because he heard ydrenth say that so much during his apprenticeship with her (before the apocalypse, the world was like ours where that phrase is common; post-apocalypse, the existence of multiple gods is established so people started saying "oh my gods" etc.). there are others but this post is long enough LOL

----------

actually. here's some bonus stuff- a drawing of two of ruarc's main forms.. once he gets the hang of things he can transform freely between a human, dragon, and an in-between form (drakonian). he usually goes around just as a regular human, but i didn't feel like drawing that today.

i forget if i mentioned this or not, but i ended up combining adonis and ruarc as characters. ruarc was a human that got injured bad enough to need a heart transplant when he was very young.

the doctor that fixed him up had an ulterior motive and gave him a dragon's heart, which made him what he is now. he likes being what he is, but he's also a bit messed up from it, to say the least.

ruarc is technically a true dragon thanks to his dragon's heart, but he prefers to call himself a dragon-hearted human. he clings to his humanity as much as possible since he was raised to think of his draconic side as monstrous.

true dragons are very seclusive and rare to encounter in my story world. they're so rare that some people believe they've gone extinct. as far as he knows, ruarc is one of a kind.

#also ummm hi irl mutuals. if you're reading this well. this is basically just me rambling about a story im writing wooo #asks #magmacannon #c:ruarc #c:fiensal

4 notes · View notes

beautifulterriblequeen · 4 years

Text

I like the idea of all of Rayla's parents acting the way they did because they have almost only their daughter's safety in mind.

Ok, I have a new headcanon now, about Rayla’s parents, the four of them.

I still don’t have the book (pfff, it’s been 2 months…) but I learned something in an interesting exchange on Reddit : Runaan and Rayla not only have a really good relationship, they have a really strong bond, he’s one of the person she trust the most in this world.

I changed my mind a lot about Runaan when I discovered he wasn’t trying to kill her. And I’m even starting to think this bond is one of the (numerous) reasons he couldn’t kill her, never: because breaking that trust was impossible for him, it’s too precious in his eyes.

But something bothered me (I hope you didn’t already make an analysis on this ’^^): why would Runaan would be so unnecessarily harsh with Rayla that night, in Katolis. Especially in the novel? Why hurting her so much, telling her she’s weak and all? And I think I got my answer (thanks to that exchange on reddit): he knows she’s not weak at all, and he knows they have a strong, really strong bond. If she were to learn he’s about to die, she would follow him to try to save him and so would get killed too.

Only solution : hurting her to makes sure she stick to her mission and never come back.

And this led me to think about Lain and Tiadrin. Why didn’t they just run away with the egg? It’s not like it couldn’t have been moved, after all. Ok, they can’t fly, but they could have hid somewhere and escape, no? It would have been smart and Moonshadow elves are maybe all about honor and all, but they’re not stupid. Plus, being stealthy, it’s kinda their thing, no?

So, what if they stayed for their oath, yes, but most of all for Rayla? They know how running away is percieved by their people, they know it would bring shame to Rayla, put her in a difficult situation in their village. So they stay behind for her… too bad Viren didn’t let anything behind to makes the others understand what happened…

As for Ethari, he was confused and overwhelmed with grief, he made a mistake. But he already proved he can break rules for her, and, another HC, the fact he lost almost everything about Runaan in the Silvergrove will help him to get out of here to go to Rayla when he will find his husband’s flower. I mean, the moonstrider, the moon opal, Runaan himself, Rayla who can’t go home. There’s nothing much left (as far as we know) of Runaan, if not Rayla, no?

So yes, I think he will going after his daughter and his husband, and he won’t let anything stand in his way.

Conclusion: the four parents in the Moonfam really have their daughter’s well being in mind, even if it means for them to die

_____________

Ohoho is this moonfam theories I see in my inbox, @lily-lilou? *happy wiggles*

First off, I hope your copy of the book arrives soon. It’s wild that it’s taking so long for some people. :(

I don’t know how many TDP fans here are parents like me, but I definitely see that a lot of parental mindsets got worked into the show as bedrock motivation for the characters who have children in their lives. Viren, Harrow, Sarai, the Queens of Duren, Amaya, Gren by extension, and of course all the moonfam!

I was a very different person before I had my kids. I think it’s safe to say that I was objectively a worse person, if I’m honest. INTJ’s don’t always get the small picture until it’s right there, every day, changing their world with its gooey smiles and unrelenting adoration. So, knowing that, I’m always interested in how the characters with kids act, and why, and maybe who they used to be beforehand. Because one thing is always the same among loving parents, no matter who they used to be: their children are always, always, on their mind on some level or another, no matter what choices must be made. And the number of cute, dumb, unnoticed, sweet, life-changing, utterly ordinary, and just-because choices we make for our kids literally cannot be tallied. Their smiles, their trust, their courage to head out into a wild and crazy world on their own... we’d do anything for them. Anything. *flailing mom noises*

I totally concur on your view of Runaan. I did write up a post a long time back, with that exact perspective as my take, but I’m glad to see the theory hasn’t dimmed because of the book! To me, the book is just another interpretation of the same issue: Runaan must separate Rayla from the mission at (almost) any cost, even if it means hurting her feelings. At least she’ll still be alive to have them.

That said, he’s a lot more gentle in the show than in the book. I don’t know if the assassins’ rather rabid calling for Rayla’s head in the novel is just a tonal difference or if it’s foreshadowing something sinister about Moonshadow culture which we been knew. It does set a starker difference between Runaan and his team, though. He does have that strong bond with Rayla, and because of it he wants to spare her so much, but he literally cannot say so in front of the others, so he uses his frustration and fear for her life to wordlessly drive her away to safety.

Both versions work. He’s doing the same thing in each one. He’s still a soft dad in a tight spot, trying to save his precious child from death. And in both cases, he is hard enough to do whatever it takes--even making Rayla feel so bad that she runs off and leaves him to his deadly fate--which he was never going to abandon anyway.

Later in the book, there’s a scene where it’s revealed what Runaan truly thinks about Lain and Tiadrin. In light of that information, it’s pretty clear that all of his insults when he and Rayla were fighting on the castle roof were simply a harder version of his show plan to send her home to Ethari. He’s desperate to keep her out of the fighting, but she’s young and eager and they are bonded tightly, you’re right. So he thinks he has to be harsh in order to save her.

How much easier would it have been if he had felt he could just tell her the truth, I wonder. But that’s not the Moonshadow way, apparently. At least not when you’re layered up to protect your own feels because you’re on a mission of death.

Lain and Tiadrin know what it’s like to love a little one. I think that made them excellent Dragonguards. I wonder, now, if any of the Skywings there had children. Or if their family ties are just looser because of their nomadic tendencies. But Moonshadows are very tightly knit to their families. There was no way in Xadia that Lain and Tiadrin would abandon a helpless child to a dark mage.

They’d left their own little child with a craftsman and an assassin who would definitely die to keep Rayla out of the reach of dark magic. And they weren’t wrong--Runaan did exactly that. If Rayla didn’t die in the fighting, she’d be captured right alongside him. So that mindset was something that all four parents definitely must’ve shared. Protect Rayla. At all costs.

And Lain, Tiadrin, and later Rayla all extended that to Zym. Protect the Dragon Prince. At all costs. Because that’s what you do with those little ones you love, who cannot protect themselves yet.

I agree about Ethari, too. He has that protective spirit in his heart, but it’s not nearly as battle-tested as it is for Runaan, Lain, and Tiadrin. He faltered because he lost Runaan, his strongest ally and the love of his life. But he’s never going to make that mistake again. He’s already straight-up breaking the rules for Rayla, and that isn’t going to stop anytime soon.

He’ll do whatever it takes to protect her. He gave her those awesome butterfly swords so she could make the most use of all the years of Runaan’s training. But now, see... now he thinks he’s the only parent she has left.

Ethari believes he is the last remaining member of the old guard, the phalanx that stood around Rayla to protect her. It’s all down to him now. And you’re right, he’s lost connection after connection with the Silvergrove and his old life. Maybe he’ll straight up head out to find himself a new one. And if he does, you gotta know that it’ll all be in service to protecting his daughter the best way he knows how.

Appealing Rayla’s ghosting to the Moonshadow ruler? Fixing the Moonhenge? Ending the war? Freeing the others from their coin prisons? Saving Callum’s life? Adopting Soren and Claudia? Trapping Aaravos in a primal stone of his own making? I know I say I’d put nothing past Aaravos, but listen. There is nothing Ethari could do in service to Rayla that would surprise me. That is who he is. He’s a family man, and his heart is bigger than all of Xadia. He will find a way, or he will roll up his sleeves and craft one. Because Rayla is the daughter of his heart, too.

#asks #moonfam #tdp #tdp meta #runaan #ethari #lain #tiadrin #rayla #moonfam meta #submission

98 notes · View notes

masterhandss · 4 years

Text

Hamefura♪ Idol AU! (part 3)

Thank you so much to the people who have voiced their interest for this AU! I honestly wouldn’t have planned on writing any of this and just planned to keep it all in my head if no one asked :’’DD Special thanks to @ineedglassesalways for the song reqs for this one! please check her out she has amazing art!

Please bare in mind that my thoughts are an absolute mess and that what i’m talking about switches between Fortune Lover and Hamefura at the snap of a finger. Most info is the same, so just try to understand which i’m talking about while reading fjhgsdjhfg

(Also i’m gonna start calling this “My Next Life as an Idol?! All Routes lead to Doom!!!” or HameFura♪ now hgfjsdgf)

Directory: Hamefura♪ Part 1 - Fortune Lover || Hamefura♪ Part 2 - hamefura

Edit: I added a cut bc i’m starting to sympathize with the people who has to scroll passed all this gjshgf

Random Plot and World-building stuff

Sorcier Entertainment is the biggest entertainment business for the past 2 decades, bringing out and producing the best quality of idols, actors, models, composers, musicians, DJs etc. It is a parent company to a lot of branches and agencies.

Sorcier Pro. is the main sub-branch of SorEn, being the most popular agency for producing the current hit in the market, which are idols. There a few other agencies within SorEn, but they wont be important until later. Geoffrey Stuart is the president of Sorcier Entertainment, and is the overseer of the main idol branch (no one knows why though, probably bc his lil bros are there). Entertainment is such an important and prevalent part of Society that the combination of the Stuarts holding power of the the entertainment industry, as well as Mr. Stuart being the prime minister, they are truly considered to be the most influential family in the country, which is added by the fact that every member of the family is an outstanding and well-respect individual.

Sorcier Pro. has a variety of high quality facilities for their idols, and even had a dormitory where they can stay in. This was done for the sake of maximizing the idol’s work hours while giving them a comfortable and accessible place of rest. Not all idols are living in the dormitories, and is usually just housing the popular ones at the time.

All of the main characters (except Sirius, and Villainess!Katarina) are living in the dormitory during the events of the “game”. Nicol and Sophia has rooms there, but they usually return to their home because they are more comfortable there. Katarina and Keith also regularly visit their parents whenever they are free, so their stay is a 50/50. Maria doesn’t visit her mother often (as her house is too far from her private school and work) so she’s always at the dorms.

A lot of the well known powerful, political and celebrity families (that are the equivalent to “nobles” in this world) are collaborators and sponsors of the company, one of the main sponsors being the Claes Family.

I thought of just making the setting an “Idol Academy” like in Aikatsu! and EnStars!, but I though nah, that’s just too easy. Industry idols are much more interesting to me, and that plot works better for a “idol rhythm game/producer simulator”, specifically for what M.C. gets to do in the game (plus I was listening to IM@S when writing the first part so hgfsdjhfdgsj)

Most prestigious families has their kids be home-schooled, especially ones that are involved in the entertainment industry. This is so that they can focus on their career while they are still young. The exception to this was Maria, until she became an idol and had to take a hiatus from school as Sorcier Pro. expects her to focus on expanding her career. She takes supplementary classes on the weekends.

Katarina’s solo unit name in Fortune Lover is Nobelia (a combination of “nobilis or noble” and “lobelia”, the blue flower of malevolence or evil). She sometimes gets temporary teammates to join for tournaments and projects, but she is a solo idol.

So the units are Fortuna (Gerald, Keith, Alan and Nicol), Amour (Maria, Sophia, and Mary), Nobelia (Katarina solo), Picotee (Sophia solo), Marigold (Mary solo), Alcea (Maria solo), Regalis (Gerald and Alan), Edel Herz (Keith and Nicol).

The name’s origins being: Fortuna as the greek of ‘Fortune’, Amour as the french of ‘Love’, Picotee as the dual colored flower (that can be white and red), Marigold (bc obviously) as the flower of passion, Alcea from alcea rosea (the pink hollyhock, which almost means strength and healing), Regalis as a root word/synonym to royal/royalty, Edel Herz being just a google translate of “noble heart” in german teehee (pls appreciate all the googling I had to do dhfgsjhfdg yes it’s mostly flower names bc I have no originality)

yes i changed the names form my original post, don’t call me out asdfgh

Idols don’t really need a stage name if they are a solo idol, but most popular idols are associated with one so it just became a trend to have both stage names and unit names.

In the original game, Maria’s default stage name is “Cinderella”, which you can then change into the username or player name. This is so that Maria can keep her name while still giving the players a custom name.

Maria’s original stage name is a nod to a lot of things: the “Cindrella syndrome” that her character is based on, The name of Fortuna’s fans/fanbase (as most players really are a fan of the boys), and is also a reference to how you are the main love interest for the boys (as you are their true Cinderella)

Katarina doesn’t retain the same stage name “Nobelia” as Villainess!Katarina does, in fear that it might her more similar to her, leading her to a doom end. She doesn’t have a stage name, unlike her friends. Her fans would call her “Bakarina” online though, but she never finds out about it jhagjsfg

Fortuna is an all-around male idol unit, one that can take on different images and genres with ease. The image of the unit changes depending on which boy is the center/lead of the song:

With Gerald, the music focuses on the instrumentals or the orchestra, giving a royal or heavenly vibe. The songs have an emphasis on righteousness, the beauty of life and a prosperous future. The songs for the fans usually has a theme of “reminiscent love” or “looking forward to a future with their partner”. A good example of a unit center song for his is Genuine Revelation from EnStars, and Flower as a solo song from his VA

With Keith, the music becomes more mature. The songs have more seductive lyrics, and has an emphasis on “forbidden love” or “having a secret relationship” with the fans. The lyrics are usually innocent in nature, until you read in-between the lines. Sometimes, his center songs throw a curveball and becomes about a “pure and innocent love” or “longing to be loved”. A good example for his solo song is Gekkoujou no Aria from A3 (please listen to it, it’s by Keith’s VA and the lyrics screams “Keith”)

With Alan, the guitar, violin and piano take the center stage.The music usually has more instrumentals than lyrics. The songs are primarily about being one’s true self, loving who you are and looking back at the past. Friendship and Identity are common themes in his songs. Sometimes, his center songs would throw a curve ball and be about something like “not acknowledging one’s feelings until it is too late”. A good song that represents his usually themes is Bokura no Kizuna from A3

With Nicol, the music is more slow and deep. The songs are usually about self-conflict, self-development and change. His songs sometimes have a theme of having an extreme adoration for the fans, a love so strong that time nor age can make it falter. “Being the only one for him” is the theme of his more popular songs. A good example for his solo song is Sword and Soul from his very own VA!

Yeah, basically the image of the center idol is reflected in the performance.

I don’t have a full list of idol song recommendations yet, but my friend who i mentioned above already recommended a bunch of good duo songs for the boys!: (feel free to suggest stuff if you guys have any :DD)

Gerald/Keith - Es No Yutsu from A3

Keith/Nicol- Plastic Poker from A3

Alan/Nicol - Don't Cry from A3

In the original game, all four boys we’re scouted while the girls all auditioned to become idols. Now, since they are all close friends, Gerald was able to market the talents of his friends and was able to get them all scouted into Sorcier Production.

Fortuna has a producer before Maria, but by the beginning of the game, he had to leave due to health reasons, leading to the sudden application for a new producer. While many producers offered to take care of the boys alongside their other idols, Fortuna insisted that they want a new producer who would focus solely on them.

Mary and Sophia also have their own producers, but they are barely present because they are busy handing other idols (and eventually, will let go of Mary and Sophia once they decide that they want Maria to produce them)

While Fortuna, Mary and Sophia’s careers were able to skyrocket quickly do to their appeals and talents, Katarina’s career grew slowly compared to her friends. This is because, despite to protests of her Producer Anne, she usually takes smaller gigs in far away towns, malls and small live houses. This is because Katarina wanted to perform in front of people who can’t easily access or attend live performances outside of the internet, just like her own small town in her previous life. She knew how happy she’d feel if there was an idol performance near her area, so she wanted to share that joy to other people.

Katarina doesn’t join her friends in doing acting and modeling jobs until much later, when Maria joins their group.

Anne Shelley acts as Katarina’s fitness instructor, personal health manager, and producer. She was brought into Katarina’s life even before she regained her memories, only exclusively as a health manager recommended to the Claes Family. She ended up taking on more jobs that involves watching over Katarina as the years pass by, as the young girl started gaining more and more interests and hobbies. Katarina wonders how Anne is able to be qualified for so many jobs, but she just sums it up as Anne being amazing! (Katarina: I guess she’s kind of like a maid!... or a babysitter...) Anne was (somehow) able to become a producer in Sorcier Productions and was easily recommended for Katarina due to their history. Anne cares a lot about Katarina in her happiness, and will do anything to support her (both version of her, in fact), so much that she is willing to juggle so many careers in order to stay by her side.

Katarina has a small farm that she tends to in her free time (since she doesn’t get a lot of job offers in the first place) that is located in the garden grounds near the main office of Sorcier Pro. Her visitors/helpers differ each day, depending on who is available (and who intentionally made themselves available to make sure they can spend as much time as they can with Katarina)

While her friends constantly get fan mail, the delivery man is always wondering why Katarina always specifically gets a small light box. In reality, it’s packages sent by Tom the gardener, from the Claes Mansion, showing her all his new prototypes for the snake toy. While Katarina first started out as making them out of paper before deciding on buying them online, she knew her family would be suspicious and question why she’s making such a purchase, so she was surprised when Tom started joining her in making fake snakes, until the snakes started to look even more realistic than the plastic ones online!

Maria Campbell: A Girl Chosen by Destiny

Since “Maria” is an involved protagonist, she gets to keep her name in the game, with her idol alias being the “username”of the player

Just like in HameFura, the game doesn’t give much on Maria’s actual history.

The game does have an implied personality for her, being a kind and hardworking girl who puts all her focus on the task at hand. The game implies that she is also a bit introverted, with her personality becoming more open and outgoing as the game progresses (implied through the slight changes in dialogue choices).

She’s a bit of a country bumpkin who moved into the big city in order to experience the world outside her town. She was able to gain a scholarship to a school in the city, and moved alone to stay with her aunt from her father’s side.

Due to her father leaving the family when she was young to due to rumors that she might be the daughter of a different man, Maria’s relationship with her mother is still very strayed. Thanks to these rumors, her father left her and her mother when she was young, and her town heavily criticized the two for the adultery that her mother apparently committed. These rumors stemmed form the fact that even as a child, Maria was beautiful (with clear blue eyes and bright blonde hair, that are in contrast to her mother’s dull eyes and dull hair). While her mother was fare-faced, the appearance that Maria had was usually associated with celebrities or artists, making people believe that Maria didn’t come from her father. Despite Maria’s mother claiming that none of it was true, the rumors got so out of hand that Maria’s father became ashamed of his family, leading him to leave without a word.

In the beginning of the game, she stayed with an Aunt from her father’s side, on the condition that she somehow pays the bills by herself, leading her to want to get a job.

Maria saw the announcement of Sorcier Production being in need of new staff, so she applied quickly in order to start saving money. Thanks to a set of misunderstandings, she accidentally got the role as a producer, despite her lack of credentials (not knowing that she was the beginning of a big project of SorEn)

Maria is an extremely hardworking person, believing that if she worked hard enough, she will be one day rewarded with the love that she’s always dreamed of receiving. Fortune Lover makes you think that Maria is naturally able to produce 7 idols, but in reality, it’s at the expense of Maria overworking herself to the bone, with almost no time for herself at all. Sometimes she sleeps in her small desk office instead of the household that she’s paying the bills of, in order to maximize her work hours. She dedicates every second that she has on the four boys, so when they shower her with love and attention, she was able to easily fall in love with them as well (and sadly becomes dependent on their validation as a personal reward for her efforts).

A month before one of Fortuna’s biggest live performance (or a little bit after Maria joins them as their producer), Maria oversaw the training of another idol who came to her and ask for help (not knowing that she was just trying to get close to Maria to get close with the Fortuna boys). Maria helped her train her dancing and singing, and even memorized her choreography in order to critique her steps. She became too dedicated in helping that idol improve, thinking that the girl wanted to be friends with her. When the event happened, the female idol was hit with bad karma and injured her leg just as the live started, leaving her unable to perform. This causes an uproar among the staff, as the set list was too complicated to change in such short notice. Gerald, who is aware that Maria has been helping their colleague, encourages Maria to take her place since she knew the lyrics and the dance. Thanks to the encouragement of the boys, Maria debuts in front of a huge crowd, gaining instant popularity as the cinderella idol that saved the live event.

Most of Maria’s job as a producer in arranging the schedules of the boys, staying in contact with their costume designer, staying in contact with their personal composers and lyricists, sorting through job offers, keeping watch of their health, watching them while they practice and accompanying them in their jobs. When she isn’t there to accompany any of them, another producer temporarily takes her place.

As Maria’s popularity increases, she is given job offers that prevents her from focusing on being a producer. Since the boys are very fond of Maria, they are very encouraging of her desire to become an idol too, and offers to help support her and themselves moving forward.

The game itself doesn’t make the changes in Maria’s occupation obvious, since Maria’s idol life is only prevalent in the Idol Rhythm Game Mode, but in reality the increase in workload is slowly eating her up (not that she’d let anyone know that)

Maria, as an idol, gets constantly harassed by her peers (especially Katarina) for being a nobody idol who took the spotlight away from them, as well as for being a close ally to Fortuna. A lot of scenes in the story mode is the boys saving her from the harassment (leading to a lot of good CG art that are sold as posters :P)

Depending on whose romance route you are on, Mary and Sophia start out as very hostile towards Maria, as her existence takes away the attention that their loved ones were supposed to give to them. Sophia warms up the fastest, as Maria’s lack of hostility towards her makes both her and Nicol easily attached. Even after the three starts as unit as Amour, Mary’s relationship with maria is mostly professional, before she slowly warms up to her somewhere near the end of the Alan Romance Route. The three can be considered friends, but they still seemed more like colleagues in the eyes of other people.

When Katarina meets Maria, she was very surprised to know that the Maria she played as in the game was a more humane person than the game shows up (somehow who isn’t perfect in every way, and works hard and long to be able to provide for both herself and the four boys)

Their meeting and friendship bloomed in the same way as the Otome Game version (because i’m too lazy to jot down every minor difference hgfjsdgf), surprising Katarina that baking hobby that was just mentioned in text or used as a plot device is actually real and flourishing, and is something she actively supported Maria.

Due to Katarina’s slow popularity gain, and Maria being a novice idol, they usually took and accepted jobs together since they both needed a boost. Instead of the quick burst of popularity that Maria has in the game, this time she wants to take each step slowly with Katarina, with the desire for them to grow at the same time.

Since Katarina is now aware of the hardships that Maria must be facing as both a producer and an idol, this time Katarina and Anne often help Maria with her paperwork and organization. Whenever Maria isn’t there to follow Gerald, Keith, Alan or Nicol, Anne now takes over if she’s available or she’d recommend a colleague that she knows would assist the boys like a pro.

Katarina insists that Maria doesn’t have to shoulder all her burden alone, and that she has all their friends around to help her and support her as they do with each other. Katarina tells her that it’s okay to ask for help and even offers her hand constantly (wow, Katarina can easily carry all these boxes of documents? My hero~) and Maria takes this lesson to heart.

Even though Maria felt nervous about joining Katarina’s friend group so suddenly, which even includes the very idols that she’s meant to watch over, Katarina was very insistent that Maria’s wonderful and warming presence would let her blend in so easily (Katarina isn’t aware of how the relationships of the characters were like in the original game since she never finished). Maria is eventually able to become friends with everyone, and is easily able to hold conversations with Mary and Sophia without Katarina around. Maria is there to act as a straight man to Mary’s exaggerated attempts at hindering the boy’s time with Katarina, and Maria often acts as an ear to Mary’s gossips about other idols. Maria, while not an avid fan of novels as Sophia and Katarina, can still join conversations about books by asking details, recommendations and insights on books she’s already read. Maria can easily get along with the boys as well, since they are in each other’s presence most of the time due to her role. They don’t hesitate to help Maria whenever they can (despite her resistance), and she’s usually the one who stops the arguments between Gerald and Keith whenever they are in the middle of a job.

Since Katarina ended p being so attached to Maria, the boys sometimes takes advantage of Maria’s role as a producer to have her work instead of attending to the woman of their affections (of course they feel somewhat bad about it, but it’s better than watching them look so love-struck with each other!) but it ends up backfiring when Katarina lets go of all her activities in favor of assisting Maria with her job as a producer.

Whenever Maria is free, she insists on borrowing the small kitchen in the Office in order to use the small over to bake some pastries and treats for her friends. Katarina constantly endorses the amazingness of Maria’s sweets, and they are both happy whenever their friends compliments the results of Maria’s hard work.

Compared to her work schedule in the game, Maria can now work comfortably as both an idol and a producer, thanks to the support and help of her friends.

Sirius Dieke: The 5th Love Interest

Sirius Dieke is a non-payable character in Fortune Lover, who usually appears in Gerald and Nicol’s stories and side story events to explain things about the world and the past relationship of the characters.

He is another idol in Sorcier Pro, and is an old friend to Nicol.

In reality, he’s actually a hidden character within the game that can only be playable if you get a Friendship Ending in the first playthrough. Getting a neural ending is already super hard, so Sirius being playable wasn’t revealed until two months after the game initial release. The game is so good at hiding this fact that not even the dataminers were able to find evidence of his existence outside of being an NPC.

Getting a Sirius Route is only possible in the New Game+ Mode, with story events and side story events dedicated to him alone. He only comes with only one new song though, so people in forums usually don’t recommend going to the Sirius Route in the second playthrough (unless you’re a completionist dgjfd)

There’s also the fact that Sirius’ Route has a completely different tone than the rest of the game. The developers of the game planned on removing his route in their game update, but due to the outcry of his fans, they kept it in, and even included a payed DLC where you can instantly unlock his route on your first playthrough.

In Sirius’ Route, it’s revealed that he was the son of a former celebrity and one of his maids, and that his real name is Raphael Wolt. His mother quited her job just before he was born. They were ultimately hunted down by Mrs. Dieke, who refused to believe that her husband had a mistress.

Raphael and his mother were kidnapped by people payed by Mrs. Dieke, and as his mother begged for her to spare their lives, Mrs. Dieke’s plans were revealed: Her own son is ill and was slowly dying from an illness, and in her jealousy of Raphael’s strong physique and health, she has decided to take Raphael as her own son, as both him and her original son both looked like their fathers more than their mothers.

In front of his eyes, Raphael’s mother was murdered in cold blood and Raphael was left to suffer from various degrees of shock therapy and blunt forces to the head in order to forcefully induce amnesia without killing him. He wakes up in the hospital bed with no memories of who he is, and Mrs. Dieke graciously plays the part of a concerned mother who is visiting her own son in order to sell the idea that Raphael is her own.

In the background, a news headline states that a mother and son was found dead in an abandoned warehouse.

The doctor tells Mrs. Dieke that her son “Sirius” might not recover his memories, and despite the glee in her voice, Mrs. Dieke acts and pretends to be devastated by the news. Unbeknownst to both of them, Sirius did eventually regain his lost memories over time and realizes that the woman claiming to be his mother is in fact the very person who had killed his only family.

Sirius learns that the reason Mrs. Dieke is so insistent on having a son was to be able to nurture and create a new star that would dazzle the entertainment world, with hopes of being able to live vicariously through her son’s career and success. Feeling disgust and hatred towards the woman that he is now forced to call “mother”, he plans to enact his revenge by destroying the entertainment world from the inside, exposing its ugliness to the world.

Sirius ends up becoming an idol because of the encouragement of his “mother”, leading him to be affiliated with Nicol and Gerald. He had already met them when they were all young, and he even planned to have them as allies in his quest to destroy the entertainment industry, only to find them as disappointingly bright eyed teens when they reunited.

When Sirius finds out that it was the effect of Maria Campbell, their new producer, he decided to wage war against her for acting as a thorn to his perfect plans. It’s revealed that a lot of the bullying scenarios in the story mode was orchestrated by Sirius himself, in an attempt to get maria to lose her reputation and her job.

Maria was able to trace back all the incidents to him, and confront him alone in the Office at night, before he left to go home. Sirius laughed and admitted to all of his past and crimes, and mocked Maria for having no proof against him. Instead of condemning him, Maria hugs him while telling him to change his ways. Despite the violent ways that he tries to get Maria off him, she doesn’t let go, trying to convince him that his way of acting in correspondence to his grief is wrong. Sirius cries as Maria spoke sense into him and dissected the flaws in his grand plan, until only the sound of his crying is left in the cold and empty office that day.

In Hamefura, When Sirius finds out that this was the effect of the “saint” Katarina Claes, he had orchestrated various events that could lead Katarina to being condemned by the public through her supposed “bullying” of the public darling Maria. This plans fails, so he plans on using Maria as a form of blackmail to get Katarina to leave the entertainment world in exchange for her friend’s safety. Maria disappears for a few days, causing her friends to be very worried for her, especially Katarina who is somewhat aware of the events that were occurring. During the search, she was able to find Sirius and tried to engage in some small talk, until she remembered a detail that her old friend Acchan said about a dark and secret love interest. Without any thought, Katarina questioned Sirius about Maria’s disappearance, surprising him with her sudden awareness.

Sirius admits to his crimes, and before Katarina can escape, Sirius hit her on the head so she can lose consciousness, but not before screaming about how he hates her ignorant enthusiasm, how she changed his pawns and made them better people, and how he wont let her take his heart and change him as well before he could enact his revenge, with tears in his eyes. This act leads to Katarina going unconscious for a few days. In this come state, Katarina was able to gain information from her old friend Acchan that she can use to save Sirius and Maria.

In the abandoned warehouse where “he” and his mother supposedly died, Sirius has Maria locked up, with no plans of letting her escape until he can guarantee that Katarina is out of the picture. He is shocked to find out that Katarina and her friends were able to find both of them; he goes on a rampage about how he wants to destroy the Dieke family and everyone associated with them and the cruel world they have created, before the feeling of despair and fear for his future leads him to almost taking his own life as a final escape.

Katarina stops him, and tells him that both of them has no future, as a secret love interest and as a villainess, and how she can’t save him the way Maria can. But that if anything else, she can a least stay by his side and take some of the weight off his shoulders, like what her friends have been doing for her since the beginning. Katarina calls him by his real name, Raphael Wolt, leading him to unlocking the final memory that he had lost from his temporary amnesia:

A memory of his mother, in her final moments, telling Raphael that she will always be by his side, and that she wishes for him to have a happy future, even if it wouldn’t have her in it. Katarina’s words made him realize that this wasn’t what his mother would wanted for him, leading him to see the error of his ways.

In both versions, it ends with Sirius turning himself in and confessing to the crimes of both him and Mrs. Dieke, leading to both of their arrest and the return/resurface of the Wolt Family murder case investigation. Sirius’ contract with Sorcier Entertainment gets terminated, and heavy manipulation of the media was used in order to prevent the story from coming into light.

Since Raphael lacked any crimes that would have him arrested, he was set free and left the Dieke family as it slowly fell apart from the controversy. He announced that he wants to spend his freedom as himself, but will one day come back to all of them as a better person.

Without Katarina realizing it, Raphael confesses that his rampage was caused by his fear of his desires for her and her company, and that he was scared that if she continued to open her arms to him in such an easy-going and warm fashion, he would lose all his will to have his revenge on the entertainment industry. Much to the annoyance of Katarina and Raphael’s friends, he takes her hand and promises to come back, to stay by her side, like she had promised to him.

In the Raphael Ending, Maria and Raphael meets again years later as both were on the way to work. Maria has already left the entertainment business and had no plans of returning, while Raphael became a changed man with a good heart and a steady job. Eventually, Maria was able to fall in love with the good man that Raphael was always meant to be/has become, and Raphael was able to rekindle the love and affection that he felt for Maria when they were still idols together.

Raphael had declared that he will back, better than ever! As an idol? who knows :3c But where will he go from here...?

Fortune Lover 2/Fortune Lover Re:Dive

Spoilers for Volume 3 of Hamefura and beyond, since this is about FL2

I’ve had a bunch of ideas that I’d like for Fortune Lover 2, but I’m not really sure if I want to put it out there because it seems too fanfiction-y in a way?

I feel like my ideas are straying far away from the original version, which disappoints me in a way, but then again, My Idol Game version of Fortune Lover is nothing like the Otome Game counterpart, so I’ll still write about it.

If you like the premise for an Idol Game style Fortune Lover, then feel free to just absorb the content above because for (my version of) Fortune Lover 2 to happen, Katarina will still get her bad end: Public Humiliation and Self-Banishment. I’ll save how it happens in part 4

In Fortune Lover 2, there would be 3 new produce-able idols, but in My Next Life as an Idol, there will be 5 new idols:

this is what i meant when I said the plot is gonna feel like a fanfiction :DD

Fortune Lover 2 isn’t really a sequel, as it is like a bulkier and softly rewritten version of FL, like how Persona 3/4/5 remakes are to their original games.

FL2 introduces a new Idol Agency that is affiliated with Sorcier Entertainment: Mahouka Production (also known as MahoPro), a recently established talent agency created by a mysterious Director. Despite being new, they were able to quickly gain a following through the eccentric idols in their line-up.

With a longer story, halfway through the game you start being introduced to three new male idols: Sora Smith, Cyrus Lanchester and Dewey Percy. They are idols that are under MahoPro, who dislikes the idols of SorPro and claims to be their rivals.

They start out as rival characters in the game, taunting you (Maria) and the idols of Fortuna constantly for a few chapters. Some time after your initial introduction, you slowly get to know the boys, until you’re finally able to gain their trust. You can then start to secretly “produce” them without their Director knowing (just like Shika from IM@S Stella Stage), which leads to gaining events, scenes, idol clothes, songs and CGs of the three new boys.

As the new character gets introduced later into the story mode, they are more of an optional route, as the game still prioritizes the original 4 boys over the new cast. You can still “romance” the 3 new characters, but since they are introduced late, it can only be done at the expense of focusing on them almost exclusively during story events and side stories so that you can quickly gain Relationship Points for them.

So basically, halfway through the game, you have the option to produce 11 idols: Yourself (Maria), Gerald, Alan, Keith, Nicol, Mary, Sophia, Raphael, Sora, Dewey and Cyrus. The first 5 being obligatory, while the last 6 are optional

Rufus Smith (or “Sora”, as he reveals to you his real name during the story) is new idol in MahoPro who was able to quickly gain a female following due to his attractive figure and maxed-out sex appeal. Many compare him to Nicol Ascart due to the fact that he is slowly taking a lot of his jobs (or works alongside him at times) due to his handsome face. While both of them are handsome models, the public is aware that there is no point in pining the two against each other since their beauty works in different ways.

In the story (and as hinted in a few side story events), he was a slum rat who didn’t have much for himself. One day, he met a man who had join him and his fellow slum dwellers into their territory, a man by the name of David. The man was able to give Sora a new perspective on life, his new name, as well as how to sing. After David died, he wandered around the country, doing dirty jobs for shady adults for money. A few years later, we was caught singing in the streets by a man who offered to take care of him and cultivate him as an idol at the age of 13, complimenting him for his beauty and his singing. While Sora rejected the offer, the man’s words never left his mind. He started out by singing in the street for change, then getting singing jobs at cafes/live houses/restaurants for money, until he suddenly got a small following as an underground idol. The Director of MahoPro offers a place for Sora, alongside with giving him jobs as a full-fledged idol that can help him provide for himself, leading him to be affiliated with Sorcier Entertainment.

Sora starts out having a rather sarcastic relationship with Maria, thinking that she is one of the many women who throws themselves at him to get his attention. He always gives her back handed compliments as always has a vicious tone when speaking. As the story progresses, Sora realizes that Maria isn’t disgusted by his history, and realized that Maria is truly a good and kind person. Sora starts to unconsciously seek her out, trying to reverse the bad impression that he must have left on her and to be with someone who doesn’t look at him lowly, like the other adults and idols of SorEn who dislikes people that aren’t of celebrity-upbringing.

Dewey Percy is a young idol that auditioned for Sorcier Pro. and won, but was rejected at the last minute in favor of a less talented wannabe-idol who was related to a famous actor. The Director of MahoPro came to Dewey with an offer as an idol, acknowledging his talents in music and dancing that he evidently have been polishing for years. In his town, Dewey was known as a Music Prodigy, as he was talented in singing, dancing, acting and playing instruments, though that’s not to say that those weren’t the effects of his own hard work. Because his family wasn’t the absolute best financially, he decided to audition as an idol in order to get jobs despite being young.

Dewey is revealed to be somewhat of a childhood friend to Maria, as he lived in the same town as her. Despite this, he is very wary of her due to the bad impressions left on his by Sorcier Pro. after he almost lost his chance at becoming an idol. Dewey absolutely hated asking for help, even when it was draining him down. He is very desperate to keep his title as a music prodigy, even though he knows it’ll be drowned once he’s in a battlefield of idols. (Also he tries very desperately to be seen as a mature and hot idol, despite his youth and appearance giving him a cute one instead lol)

Maria realizes how hard Dewey is pushing himself, and convinces him over multiple instances that he doesn’t need to be hard on himself and suffer alone. Maria offers herself as a shoulder to lean on, making Dewey embarrassed but happy at the idea that he can finally have someone to rely on, and that he doesn’t need to be alone anymore. They were also able to bond about their similar upbringing, making Dewey feel at home in the arms of Maria despite being miles away from their town.

Cyrus Lanchester is an idol from a different agency, who was transferred to MahoPro by the time the events of the game began. He has a very strict personality, and is an overall perfectionist as an idol. He was let go from his original Agency because his strictness and tendency to scold his fellow idols caused his peers (who are a bunch of lazy and stuck up children of celebrities) to take him out because they didn’t vibe with his attitude. Before his original producer was able to tell him that he was done as an idol, the Director of MahoPro offered a place for him in their new agency.

While being grateful to the Director for taking him in, he does not hold back in letting everyone know about his distaste for their odd Director. While is he very talented as an idol, he is just using it as a chance to learn more about the industry and gain connections that he can use to be a part of it in the near future.

While he doesn’t start as wary of Maria as his fellow male idols, he insist on keeping distance with her due to the fact that they are of different agencies, as well as the fact that he is not good at dealing with women.

Notes

(I’ll have to rewrite Cyrus and Dewey’s descriptions after Volume 7 comes out, since I don’t have much to work with. I’ll add the Sora, Cyrus and Dewey endings in the edit as well.)

I know some part of Maria and Sirius’ backstory doesn’t make any sense but just use your imagination lol hgjgfjsfgd

More about Katarina, the silhouettes, the Director, and how it affects the story on the next part :DD my fingers really hurt from all this typing hgjsdgfjs

If ever i’m dissatisfied with what I have here and end up changing things, don’t be surprised jhfjshdgfs

Next Part is gonna be plot points that I want for this AU and a bit of FL2, so sorry if the next one might not be that exciting fsjhgfjsd

feedback and suggestions are very much appreciated! Thank you to the few people who are interested in this AU :DD

93 notes · View notes

fatesdeepdive · 3 years

Text

Entry 6: Dicklips has a Point

Chapter 5: Mother

After a few days in Hoshido, Corrin is finally getting used to the massive emotional baggage that is her backstory. Mikoto invites Corrin to sit on the Hoshidan throne, which is infused with the magic of the First Dragons and destroys magic that alters the body or mind. Mikoto hopes that it will allow Corrin to regain her memories. Before Corrin can sit on the throne and become king of the Westeros or whatever, Mikoto’s strategist Yukimura enters. He looks like a nerd, but I suppose that’s better than being a steampunk MCR cover band dropout like Iago.

The Hoshidan siblings enter and Mikoto tells Corrin that they’re having a ceremony to quash spy rumors and formally reintroduce Corrin into the family. We’re properly introduced to Corrin’s other brother, Takumi. He’s assigned to show Corrin around town and is grumpy about it, because his defining character trait is being a dick. As Takumi and the princesses leave, Ryoma muses that he feels uneasy and predicts that something bad will happen soon.

The gang tours a Hoshidan marketplace. It’s so vibrant, and colorful, and full of life. I haven’t been talking much about this game’s music because I’m not a music guy, but I love the upbeat theme they use for this scene. It feels like something out of Okami and matches Hoshido’s idealized feudal Japan aesthetic perfectly.

Corrin points out that Shirasagi is way better than the Nohrian fort she was held prisoner in for years. Takumi rants that he doesn’t trust Corrin, saying Just don’t get too comfortable…SISTER. I know he’s supposed to come across as a dick, but he has a point. Corrin’s an enemy soldier who invaded Hoshido and killed a dozen people less than a week ago. It doesn’t matter that they share DNA, Corrin should be treated with suspicion.

Takumi also acts suspicious to Azura and says she can’t call him by his first name, which is dumb. What’s she supposed to do, call him Dicklips? Corrin points out that Dicklips is being an idiot and Dicklips tells her to shut up. And really, he is being an idiot. Either hate Corrin for growing up in Nohr, or hate Azura for having Nohrian DNA. Either nature matters, or nurture matters. You can’t have it both ways.

Then again, Azura and Corrin will totally join Nohr and try to destroy Hoshido if we chose the conquest path, so maybe Dicklips has a point.

Corrin tells Sakura that she’s friends with a girl around Sakura’s age, presumably Elise. If the coin flip had gone the other way and I was playing as boy Corrin, Sakura would have asked if Elise is Corrin’s girlfriend. And that’s ridiculous. Can you imagine, Corrin dating their teenage sister? That’s messed up. Good thing that isn’t a thing that happens in this game.

We go to the plaza for the festival. Side note, all shots of Corrin and Mikoto in the festival are positioned so that Corrin’s face is covered by something, like a man wearing an oversized hat, for instance. This is because Corrin is customizable and that means the game can’t show their face. They can show the clearly male body model, but not their face. Awakening had Robin wear a hood to get around this problem, but who needs fashion choices when you can just censor the main character’s face like it’s Austin Powers’s mojo.

While Corrin’s standing next to Mikoto, a weird ghost man wearing a hood walks to the front of the crowd and holds out his arm. Red smoke starts coming off Ganglari and an eye opens up on its hilt, because it is very clearly a cursed sword. Ganglari flies over to the man and he stabs it into the ground, creating a massive purple explosion ball. The sword explodes and Mikoto jumps in front of Corrin to shield her from the shrapnel. As she dies, Mikoto asks Corrin if she’s okay.

Fire Emblem has a lot of dead parent scenes, and I honestly think this is the best. Marcella Lentz-Pope’s scream when Mikoto dies is phenomenal. Mikoto begging Corrin to be alright and dying with a smile on her face is beautiful.

Ryoma cuts down the hooded man but his cloak just falls to the ground, leaving no body. Corrin screams, her hair glowing and her eyes white, physically holding back the pain as waves of energy burst from her body. In a moment, Corrin is gone. In her place is a dragon.

I really like Corrin’s dragon form. It looks so inhuman, more like a machine than a traditional dragon. It really gets across that Corrin has completely lost any semblance of humanity she had as she falls into this pit of despair.

The level proper starts up as an army of dark mages and mercenaries storm into the ruined plaza. Their leader is the ghostly man from before. Interestingly, he’s a swordmaster, a Hoshidan exclusive class that he shares with Ryoma. This level adds Sakura and Azura to our team and gives Corrin an absolutely monstrous boost to her stats, fitting for her rage dragon form.

Sakura

Corrin’s shy, gentle Hoshidan younger sister. She’s a Shrine Maiden (Cleric) and wields healing staves. Her personal skill lowers the damage taken by nearby allies. Her design is fine; I don’t really have any thoughts on it. She seems to be going for this “cute shy healer” personality, which isn’t bad, but Fire Emblem has done it a dozen times before.

Azura

Azura is our Dancer...I mean, Songstress. She sucks at fighting, but allows other units to attack twice, which is really helpful in battle. Her personal skill heals nearby allies at the start of their turns. Her design, despite its bright colors, does a good job conveying how calm and mysterious she is. Azura is an enigma. She clearly knows more than she lets on, but currently seems content to just follow Corrin around.

All of the mercenaries in this chapter wield special, dragon killing swords, which would be a problem, if Corrin didn’t have as much defense as the rest of the party put together. This chapter boils down to letting dragon Corrin smash everyone while Sakura, Azura, and Kaze provide support. Ryoma attempts to take on the ghost man, but is defeated. Then Corrin fucking stomps his translucent ass and saves the day.

Corrin continues rampaging and Azura begins singing LITAA. Her necklace, the one from the title screen, starts glowing. Ryoma runs in to protect Azura, but Azura blasts him away with a pillar of water, which is a thing that she can do apparently.

Dragon Corrin freaks out at the music and slashes Azura across the chest. Azura keeps singing and Corrin attempts to strangle her to death. Azura tells Corrin, Kill me if you want, but do it as yourself, which is a fantastic line that shakes Corrin out of her madness.

Corrin turns back into a human and has a flashback of Garon’s murdering Sumeragi and kidnapping her. Garon says You are my child now and grabs baby Corrin, which is so creepy its comical.

Corrin apologizes to Azura, saying she’s disgusted with herself. Ryoma explains that both royal families have dragon blood, the Nohrians from the Dusk Dragon and the Hoshidans from the Dawn Dragon. Corrin looks out over the destroyed town, a town full of innocent people destroyed by Nohr.

Ryoma points out that, because Garon gave Corrin an evil bomb sword, everything must have been his plan. Cool plan, by the way. Let’s see if I have it straight:

1: Give Corrin a bomb sword.

2: Have her commit an act of war.

3: Have Hans try to murder Corrin.

4: Hope he fails.

5: Hope the Hoshidans bring Corrin to their Queen, instead of imprisoning her for being an enemy soldier.

6: Have ghost soldiers invade Hoshido and take the sword from Corrin.

6: Cursed sword explodes, killing Mikoto and destroying her mind control barrier.

I mean, sure, there are probably simpler ways to kill Mikoto, ways that don’t involve praying that Hans fucks up and fails to kill Corrin. Garon could have, I don’t know, had the ghost soldiers kill Mikoto. Maybe their existence is tied to Ganglari, but that’s never actually stated, and the fact that they stick around and kill people after Ganglari explodes makes that questionable.

You know how, at the end of Naruto, Kishimoto had the villains reveal that they were behind every bad thing that happened in the series, and how it didn’t make sense and was dumb and convoluted? I’m getting Naruto vibes from this chapter.

Takumi blames Corrin for Mikoto’s death. And I mean, he has a point. Corrin’s the one who brought the clearly cursed sword her war criminal father gave her with her. Azura tells Takumi that it’s fine if he doesn’t trust her, but it's wrong for him to distrust Corrin, because Corrin is his blood. And that’s fucking stupid. Fire Emblem is filled with characters with evil relatives. Soren, Guinivere, Edelgard, Robin, the list goes on. Shit, there are evil blood relatives within this game.

Corrin suggests leaving and Yukimura tells her that Mikoto wouldn’t have wanted that and that Mikoyo knew she would die soon. He also mentions that there may be darker forces than Garon at work. Yukimura also points us towards a statue destroyed in the blast, a statue containing Yato, a diving golden sword that is said to be the key to peace. Yato flies up and over to Corrin.

Kaze runs in and reports a massive Nohrian force assembles at the border and the family marches off to war, with Ryoma declaring that he will not show any mercy. Corrin decides to follow Ryoma, in hopes of stopping the war. Azura tells Corrin to calm down, because getting into a fight could cause her to lose control and turn into a dragon again. Spoiler alert, this is literally the only chapter where Corrin loses control, because screw interesting characterization.

Azura gives Corrin her necklace, which turns out to be a dragonstone. Dragonstones and manaketes, people who can turn into dragons, are not new to Fire Emblem. Manaketes are normally uncomfortably young girls. Corrin is the first and currently the only manakete main lord. What’s more, Corrin is unique in their ability to wield both swords and dragonstones. It fits with the duality motif.

The necklace allows Corrin to control her dragon form, which is a bit of a disappointment. Corrin losing control and destroying stuff in this animalistic rage was really interesting characterization that is never seen after this chapter.

Azura decides to follow Corrin, because Corrin makes her feel safe. Apparently.

This chapter was really, really, good. Mikoto’s death was heartbreaking and Corrin going apeshit was some really strong character work. I forgot how absolutely terrifying Corrin’s transformation scene is. That said, this chapter hammers the final nail in the coffin for this story being morally grey. There is absolutely no reason to side with Nohr after this chapter, except for loyalty to the Nohrian royals.

At the start of the next chapter, we’ll choose our side in this war. And, not to tip my hand, but I don’t exactly think it’ll be a hard choice.

#fe #fire emblem #fe fates #fe 14 #fe14 #fire emblem 14 #fire emblem fates #corrin fe #ganglari #takumi fe #ryoma fe #azura fe #hoshido #sakura fe

14 notes · View notes

berri-hopefulspouse · 3 years

Text

"Soren, would you like to go first?" Ren never really expected themselves to be before an officiant- let alone for this reason...But, for some reason, they weren't afraid. Not exactly, not in the way they thought they would be. Nodding, they look back to Makoto- after keeping in yet another internal little squeak- and give a soft sigh and a little smile...They were ready for this.

"When we first met...and I mean, truly, deeply first met... I felt almost drawn to you. You said it yourself; we had always had some kind of connection, one that goes beyond time, space...probably even ourselves as we are currently. I always felt drawn to you then, to be close to you- but I could never exactly pinpoint what it was...yet, here we are now. Years later, and we're both still here. Both still...okay. I'll be the first one to say it- shit isn't perfect-" That gets a bit of a chuckle from themselves, "-But we're here...and we're alive. And we have the groundwork for a new beginning."

With a little shaky, nervous sigh, they bite their lower lip and manage to maintain eye contact with Makoto, "...I know I can't always be there when you need me- and I know I can't promise things will be perfect. But I can promise- can vow to you- that I'll be doing my best, each and everyday. Doing my best to improve, to get better, to learn new things, and to love you. Each, and everyday. Always, and forever. You mean the world to me, and to whatever secrets that we may share in the future..." Theres a smirk, and already Makoto knows what's coming, "I'll never tell a single soul. That's a promise, and my vow to you...I'll always, always cherish you."

Despite their light joke, there were tears in their eyes, barely held together through their strict will alone. Makoto wasn't much better- in fact he had to let go of their hand once or twice to wipe at his own eyes, before letting out a soft laugh of surprise himself. Still, after looking to the officiant himself- and getting a small nod- he proceeded to speak himself.

"Ren, first of all, how dare you make me cry like that-" That got a laugh out of the two of them, as well as the small gathering of people who had decided to attend that day, "-Still, still...There's so many things I could say...So many things I want to say- and it wouldn't truly be enough. You're so many things- you've done so much for me and for those around you...and yet, you never stop pursuing to help everyone around you. Everyone except yourself." Despite himself, he rests a hand gently on their cheek to reassure them, to calm them down a bit.

"I thought I knew who I was- someone who didn't quite stick out in the crowd, who was just...well, average at everything I did. And I thought I was okay with that... But uh..." He chuckled nervously, "Turns out that's just self esteem issues, I suppose. You never stopped believing in me- back then and all the way up until now. No matter what we faced, you had full faith in me that it'd be alright. I've always had a more optimistic attitude...and you always struggled to maintain one, but you still were always there for me. You say you weren't- but I assure you, even if you couldn't physically help in some way...I knew you were there for me, in spirit."

He shakes his head a bit, "I guess this is a roundabout way of saying...I'm proud of you. You've taught me so much, and grown so much more than from when we first met. You stand tall- well, really short in your case-" A little joke that earned him a gentle subtle kick with their shoe- causing him to laugh, "-You stand tall in the face of everything you've been through. Each day you keep moving forward, despite what lingers over you...And for that reason alone, I'm so proud of you. You always tell me that I saved you, that I've done so much for you...and while I can't always believe that's true, I can promise you that I'll be there whenever I can. You deserve to have someone who can protect you, and well- if it's me...I guess I really can't argue with that. I love you, Soren...with everything I am. You're my hope, and my proof that my Ultimate Luck truly isn't just a throwaway Ultimate...It's proof that I really am lucky to have you in my life. I swear, I'll never leave you- if you'll allow me to stay in your life...and that I'll always do my best to protect you, and cherish what we have. Always. My love for you is no secret."

He was trying to keep his voice from shaking, truly he was- but while his tone held certainty, his nervousness was equally as palpable in his tone. It was also not much of a secret that, simply put- he had completely did that on the fly, rather than plan it out. All the same, it looked like his words got through to them- the tears they were trying to keep back having started to fall from their cheeks. Leaning into the palm of his hand that still rested on their cheek, they nuzzled into it for comfort before pulling back to let his hand free- a smile on their face the whole while. At least he knew he didn't royally screw that up.

Still, thereafter came the rings- the one thing Makoto knew for certain. Ren may have been the one to do most of the planning- Mostly in part due to Makoto knowing full and well they were better at all of this than he could ever really hope to be- but he was the one who picked what the wedding bands would be. He didn't let Ren see what they were, wanting to get their reaction above anything else. He did his own first, slipping the ring carefully onto their ring finger- trying to quell the slightly anxious tremble of his own hands. He couldn't help being nervous.

The ring itself was simple in nature, but it's meanings would show themselves to those two alone. Theirs particularly had an outer layer of silver- steel, particularly- with moonstone in the middle. Carved into it, were a few small things. A moon and some stars, a reminder of the promise ring they got the both of them and a light comparison to his own band. A small little heart, that had a little ruby heart gemstone in the middle, as it was their birthstone. Lastly, on the underside of the ring, was engraved a few simple words; 'You are my luck, and my hope.'

His was similar of course, rather instead a shade of gold rather than silver with sun and cloud engravings on his own, and an sapphire heart rather than a ruby one. On the underside of his, was something that he heard them say to him once or twice- something that stuck with him, something he observed as they, in turn, slipped the band onto his ring finger.

'You're the reason I believe in my empathy.'

He watched Ren's reaction, though, as their expression shifted from the soft counterance they had previously to curiosity. Then, to thought- likely tuning out the officiant in favor of observing the ring- and finally acknowledgement, gaze snapping back up to meet Makoto's as the tears that had started to slow down only picked right back up. He could faintly notice them mouth something along the lines of 'You fucking dork,' as the officiant had continued to speak, their facade of pride crumbling down with their tears.

The two had been so busy reveling in their own little world for a few moments, that neither had even noticed that the officiant had been asking a question. Makoto, naturally, snapped out of it first in time for him to recognize his name being said.

"S-sorry, what was that?" And, promptly, his question snapped Ren back out of their own stupor, blushing a bit in embarassment. Makoto wished he wasn't in the same flustered state. Thankfully it got a bit of chuckles out of everyone else, and the officiant repeated himself.

"Do you, Makoto Naegi, take Soren to be your spouse?"

"Oh!" Well, if he wasn't red before hand, he definitely was now, "I...I do." ...But he still wouldn't hesitate with his answer, not for a moment.

It got a bit of a giggle out of Ren. At least they were amused at how flustered he was- but he knew full well it was a double edged sword.

"Soren, do you take Makoto to be your lawfully wedded husband?"

Despite watching their cheeks turn a bright red- called it- and noticing their breath bitch a bit, their resolve didn't falter in the slightest.

"I do, now and forever."

Makoto couldn't help but smile at that, the nervous expression he adorned softening into adoration. He could be nervous, sure, but right then and there? With that smile they had on? He could feel nothing but pure, unadulterated love. He didn't notice when the officiant was asking if anyone had any objections- he didn't notice when no one had said anything, or that everyone was staring intently at the two, all he could really notice was them.

He only snapped out of it once more when he heard the Officiant speak once more.

"Then it is my great honor to pronounce you as husband and spouse!" The officiant look to the two with a little grin, "You may now kiss, if so desired."

About halfway through that sentence however, impatient as they were- Ren had quickly grabbed Makoto to yank the brunette into their shorter embrace. Yelping a bit in surprise- it instead dissolved into a little laugh as Ren mumbled a short and cheeky, 'Hey', to Makoto- only before pressing a shy kiss to him. He didn't hesitate to reciprocate, a hand gently combing past the flower crown veil to instead thread his fingers through their hair. Only then did they relax a bit, pressing back with a bit more decor for a few moments before drawing away a bit.

"Hello to you, too, Mx. Naegi," Makoto lightly teased, despite being out of breath. Watching their face equally flush a bright red, but light up with delight, he ignored the small uproar of his friends and family- instead laughing to himself before being ambushed in another kiss from his now-spouse. Despite it all, they made it to this point...New Years Eve- now New Years day...Now, officially, married. To the two, it was clear as day...

What a great way to start a new year.

#[ emotionally hopeful ]#[ ren's art ]#[ ren's s/i ]#[ f/o event: new year wedding ]#I HOPE YOU UNDERSTAND I WROTE THIS WITHIN A FEW HOURS AND ALSO FLUSTERED MYSELF THE W H O L E DAMN TIME

12 notes · View notes

iwillhaveamoonbase · 4 years

Text

The Long Game ch. 4

Rayla watched on as Ezran and Callum argued. “I’m telling you; I can talk to animals!”

Callum folded his arms. “It’s the raccoons all over again.”

“Callum!”

“No. This is why you don’t have friends!” Rayla’s eyes went wide at that.

“Callum! Stop it!” She wasn’t even sure how they had gotten in on this bizarre argument. One minute they were enjoying their free time between lessons and the next Ezran was talking about how the horses were complaining about kissing in their stalls. Callum hadn’t taken kindly to it, calling Ezran a liar and now, apparently, Ezran could talk to animals. Rayla felt a headache coming on, but she also knew Ezran didn’t lie. “Just hear him out.” Rayla bent down to look Ezran in the eyes. “Ez, can you prove it?”

Ezran nodded. “The mice saw you two having conversations on your balconies. Every night, you two talk.”

Callum shook his head. “You could have easily overheard that. My room is right next to your’s and you have a balcony, too.”

Ezran groaned. “I’m sorry about the raccoons, OK?! I didn’t know they were all liars, but I’m not lying!”

Rayla put her hand on Ezran’s shoulder. “I know you believe this, Ez.” She looked at Bait in his arms. Ezran had always seemed hyperaware of Bait’s feelings….She took Bait and walked over to the stacks, ignoring Ezran and Callum asking what she was doing. “OK, frog. I’m going to tell you something nobody in this castle knows.” Bait looked up at her with his grumpy face, but croaked in acceptance, at least, she supposed he did. When she looked behind her and saw that the boys were still far behind them, she picked Bait up and whispered close to where she assumed his ear hole was. “My parents names were Tiadrin and Lain. My adoptive fathers called each other ‘My Heart.’”

Rayla turned back to Callum and Ezran, walking back with Bait. She had no idea what Bait was capable of communicating, but she figured, if Ezran could understand any of this, it would convince her. Rayla handed Bait to Ezran, and gestured for the glow toad to talk.

“What’d she do, buddy?” Ezran sighed. Callum raised a brow, clearly wanting to know himself. Ezran looked up and smiled. “That’s adorable.”

“What is?” Rayla asked.

“Your dads calling each other ‘My Heart.’ That’s so romantic!” Rayla’s eyes went wide. Callum looked at her, waiting for her to speak, she was sure.

“He can talk to animals,” Rayla said. Before Callum could ask, she walked away. She was going to have to be even more careful. If Ezran could hear the mice…she couldn’t say anything out loud. Nowhere was safe. Rayla’s eyes went wide as her breath came out in harsh pants. Had she slipped at any point? Would Ezran be able to understand her mumbles to herself? Rayla but her hand to her chest as she felt her heart beating loudly. “Oh, no…oh, no.”

“Rayla! How you-you OK?” Rayla looked up to see Soren, staring down at her. “You look like Callum when he’s having an anxiety attack.”

Was that what was happening? Blood was rushing in her ears. She had already failed and now…what if they figured if out and locked her up? They would kill her. Callum….Callum would hate her….Why did that hurt more than anything else? Rayla felt tears gathering at the corners of her eyes. “I’m fine,” she whispered. She couldn’t let anyone see her be weak. She was not weak. She was strong and brave and she would not fail in her duty.

“You don’t look fine. Do you want me to take you to your room?” Soren wrapped an arm around her shoulder, lifting her up. When had she sunk to her knees on the floor?

“I said I’m fine!” She pushed him away, putting her hand on the wall to steady herself. “I’m fine. Thank you, Soren.” Soren backed up, nodding at her.

“Do you want to, maybe, talk about it? I can be an ear for you if you want.”

“No. I’ve got it. Just learned something that shocked me.” Rayla walked away from Soren, ignoring his disappointed face. She didn’t have time for his flirting, even when he was trying to be kind. When she made it to her room, she settled on her bed and laid against the bed. She tried counting backwards, tried working through it. She tried a Big Feelings Time in her head, but nothing was working.

The tears of frustration came hard and they came fast. She was going to fail, just like her parents. She was a failure. This is why the guild had sent her. They had sent her to fail, get rid of her and end her miserable bloodline. She could feel herself spiral down deep into corners that couldn’t possible be true, but certainly felt true in the moment. Or was it true? Did they think she was doomed to fail?

She heard knocking on her door, but ignored it. She didn’t want to see anyone. “Rayla?” She turned her head to see Callum, his soft eyes staring right at her. Rayla turned away. She didn’t want him to see her like this. “Soren said you were upset.”

“I’m fine.”

“You don’t look fine.”

“Leave me alone,” she whispered in her pillow. “You wouldn’t get it.”

Instead of him leaving, he sat on the bed next to her. “You’re right, I probably wouldn’t.” She turned to look at him. He smiled down at her. Softly, hesitantly, he stroked her cheek and ran a hand through her hair. Rayla’s breath caught in her throat. “When my anxiety gets to be too much, I imagine my mom. It’s been so long since I’ve seen here, but she’s this calming force in my life. I miss her, all the time. I don’t remember my father, at all. I just know I have his eyes and talent for art.” Callum removed his hand, moving to the art journal he kept at his side at all times. “Do you want to see something?”

Rayla nodded, sitting up. She rested her head on his shoulder, taking in his scent of rosemary and balsam. He flipped through the pages until he finally landed on a picture of Sarai, Harrow, him, and Ezran. “It’s beautiful.”

“I draw this picture every year. I want to remember us from back then. My mom can’t grow old anymore, but I want us to have a family portrait every year anyways.”

“You look so much like her.”

“Thanks. It’s always a compliment when people say that.” He was quiet as he slowly flipped the pages for her to look through. “You missed the Jerkface Dance.”

“I did?” she whispered.

“I did the trick you did, with Bait. Ez now knows something really embarrassing.”

“What?”

“NOPE! It’s bad enough he knows.” Rayla didn’t push it.

After a few moments, she sighed. “I felt trapped by the fact that Ezran understands the mice. If he does, does that mean we don’t have secrets here?”

“I felt really upset about that too. Ez said he ignores the mice and has asked them to be quiet when they know he’s there. At least, about the things they hear around the castle. It’s too much of an invasion of privacy.”

“He’s a good kid.”

“He is. I felt really bad for saying that’s why he doesn’t have friends. Ez has always been a weird kid. But, that’s not fair, is it? He’s the future king. No matter what he does, people are going to look at him differently.”

Rayla raised her head, turning Callum’s head to look at her. “You’re both just doing your best. It’s too much burden for one so young. It’s not just him; everyone looks at you differently, too. I heard Viren offered magic lessons.”

“Claudia did. Primal magic since she has a primal stone. I’m gonna learn sky magic.”

Rayla smiled. “Do you promise, no dark magic?”

“I promise. It’s a shortcut and all it leads to is disaster. My mother…maybe she would still be alive if dark magic hadn’t been an option in the first place.”

“Maybe. Maybe it was her time. Who’s to say?”

Callum stared in her eyes. “It gets worse when I look in your eyes.”

“What does?”

“That tingling something’s off.” Rayla turned her head away, letting him go. “I’m sorry! That was rude!”

“No, it’s fine,” Rayla wrapped her arms around herself. For a second, she had forgotten the spell was there. He had looked at her like she was everything…stop, Rayla. Just stop. She couldn’t have him. She turned back around, Callum still looking at her. “Thank you. I feel better after you told me that Ezran doesn’t heed the mice.”

“I thought that was it. But Soren wasn’t sure. And, since he watches you so much…”

“He needs to stop. I’m not interested. Not my type.”

“What is your type?” It was so quiet she wasn’t sure she had heard right.

Rayla looked at him for a few moments. “Smart, willing to admit when they’re wrong, loving, kind.” She gulped. “A massive dork. Come on, we have lessons still.” She couldn’t give him time to think about what she had just said. If they did, what if he felt the same? Would she throw everything away to be with Callum? Rayla turned her head to look back at Callum, hand still holding her’s. Yes, she would give it all up if he loved her back as much as she loved him. She could never give him a chance to.

-------------------------------------

Callum huffed as he did his fifth fulminis. “Claudia, isn’t there any other spells?”

“You’re not ready, Callum,” she muttered. She was watching him with a critical eye. “You’re very quick with a primal stone, honestly. It took me weeks to get to this level. Dark magic was always easier.”

“Maybe I’m destined to be a sky mage?” Callum asked. The possibilities would be endless.

Claudia shook her head. “We were born with nothing. That’s why we need dark magic and primal stones. Come on, try dark magic. I’m sure you’d take to it right away.”

“No thanks,” Callum stood firm. Claudia was always trying to tempt him with dark magic and dates these days. He didn’t get it. The dark magic, he could. Claudia didn’t see just how dangerous it was yet. But the dates, that made no sense.

“OK. You wanna go get some jelly tarts?” And there was the date.

“No thanks.” Claudia nodded, not looking too torn up. “Is Viren asking you to ask me out?”

Claudia’s back straightened, turning away from him. “No?” It came out as a question. “I just think you and I would be good together.”

“Yeah, while I’m in love with Rayla and you’re not even attracted to me.” Claudia was quiet for too long. “You know I’m in love with Rayla, right?”

“So is Soren. Soren would be a good choice for her. He’s always trying to impress her and his sword fighting skills are pretty good.”

Callum looked down at his feet. That was all true. Rayla was too cool and pretty for him. She was his teacher and his friend, nothing more. There’s no way he could convince someone like her that he was even an option. “I know. I just don’t want us both to be miserable with each other.” Callum walked out of the room, heading towards the grounds. It was almost time for his lesson with Rayla. He saw her facing off against Soren. As always, it was clear as day that Rayla was the superior one with a weapon. She dodged and flowed like it was a dance, sweeping the leg effortlessly when she got bored of the match.

Callum saw that the crown guards around them were nursing injuries of their own. Rayla had probably gone through the lot of them. She finally swatted Soren’s sword out of his hand, putting the tip to his chin. “I win.” Her voice was crisp and clear, turning to look at the lot of the other guards. “He lasted longer than all of you. Do not forget that he is the head of the crown guard for a reason. You all need to stop making jokes about how a tiny girl keeps beating him. I think I remember Queen Sarai being the former general and incredibly skilled with a spear. Also, isn’t General Amaya a woman?”

One of the guards looked disgruntled. “You’re a slip of a thing and you’re so good.”

“I’ve got a lot of toned muscle. I prioritize speed over bulk. It’s not that complicated.” Rayla looked over at him, as if she had known he was there the whole time. Had she? “I’m doing the same with Callum. Making a move faster is just as important as might.”

“And how do you know that?”

“Doesn’t everyone?” Rayla walked away, handing the sword to a random guard and grabbing two spears. “Good, you’re here. Let’s get this session underway. They were a good warm-up.” Callum followed before her, in awe of just how cool she sounded. They went to their more secluded grounds and went through the warm-ups of stretches and following basic spear-holding positions. “Eventually, we’ll get you doing swordplay again. Just to please everyone. How was your lesson with Claudia?”

“She suggested dark magic again.”

“And you said ‘no’?”

Why did she always sound so concerned when she asked that? “Of course. I have no interest in it.”

“Good.” Rayla turned away for a moment. She quickly spun the spear in her hand and turned to face him, moving to strike. He blocked her, trying to hold her ground as she added power behind her moves. She moved around him, trying to teach him how to keep grounded on his feet. “Better! Stand firm. No matter what, you cannot lose your balance. It’ll all be over if you do.” Callum nodded, bending his knees a bit. “Bad choice,” Rayla whispered. Callum couldn’t stop her from using her spear to sweep his legs out from under him, knocking him flat on his back. “You reacted to what I said in an obvious way. If you had waited, maybe I wouldn’t have noticed.”

“You’d have noticed. Don’t act like you wouldn’t have.”

“True.” Rayla stared down at him before offering her hand to help him up. “You are getting much better, though. I’m proud of you.”

Callum flushed at her words. It had been a little more than a year since she had arrived, crashing into their lives and disrupting his heart in every way. She now had to look up at him as his growth spurt had started. He watched as she spun the spear in her hand again, moving like it was a dance partner. Everything she did was like a dance. Perhaps, in another life, she was a dancer for a theater troupe. “Thanks.”

She smiled back at him. “Dinner will be soon, Your Highness. Go wash up.”

“What about you?”

“I want to stay here a bit longer. The peace and quiet does me good.” He nodded, leaving her behind. When he turned back for a last look, he saw her looking back at him, a soft look on her face. What did that mean? It reminded him of how his mom had looked at Harrow back when she had been alive. But, he couldn’t hope for that from Rayla. Someone like her was made for far better than him.

#rayllum #rayllum fanfic #tdp #the dragon prince #au #the long game #moonbase fanfics

35 notes · View notes

raayllum · 2 years

Text

you give her something sweet (and tell her to keep it)

Katolis doesn’t really do Valentine’s Day.

Or at least, Claudia doesn’t. It’s more of a Del Bar tradition than anything else, a celebration of all bonds of love — friends, family, partners (whether romantic or platonic) — and while Claudia can say after six years at the castle, she finally has some of the first two... She’s acquaintances with Corvus at best, although he’s kind to her, and Soren and Ezran are busy with king stuff.

The tradition has picked up a bit of steam in Katolis, especially since the end of the first war. Enough for bards to sing of their prince and princess’ romance like it’s something special (and Claudia has had enough time to see that it is), even if Callum and Rayla have resided in Xadia full-time for the past three years.

Some of the crownguard have given each other presents — a married couple of best friends that live in the castle; Barius and his husband, a portly older gentlemen who visits him in the bakery often — and Claudia wonders if Soren will finally talk to the cute crownguard he has a crush on. If there was a day to confess feelings, it might as well have been today.

Perhaps it was a good thing she and Ezran didn’t have a meeting today, Claudia thought, bending down to remove a weed from her garden. She tucked it into her bag of ingredients for potion-brewing later. It was getting increasingly harder to ignore just how much he’d grown up into a kind, handsome young man, and Claudia didn’t need to be tongue-tied, no matter how much his sweet, sincere comments made her cheeks blush.

Worse, still, was the fact she wasn’t sure her feelings were entirely unrequited. She’d come a long away from the wreck of a witch she’d been, and she knew she was a good high mage. But she was too old, too broken, for that sort of thing. Ezran was just young—still twenty-four—and infatuated. The starry eyed gazes he sent her sometimes, asking her to dance at their galas, would pass. Claudia didn’t think her feelings would, but he deserved someone young and whole.

She’d already been given so much more than she deserved, a chance to live and grow and be happy. She wouldn’t know what to do with his affections. Even if she...

Claudia sighed, her heart aching a bit in her chest in a way that was both happy and sad. She scooped up one of the garden mice that had come to chew her flowers’ stems and gave the creature a tiny scratch under the chin. Ezran talked to them often, but she could never keep them and their names straight. It was just one of the many ways he was considerate and thoughtful and...

“I’m hopeless, aren’t I?” she reflected, the mouse pushing her into her palm. She smiled as she set it down and it went to join its fellows. They came and went as they pleased, provided they listened to Ez’s instructions and stayed away from certain plants.

She wasn’t surprised to see one scurrying down the garden path—even if she was surprised to see a flower stem held in its mouth.

Blinking, Claudia sat back on her knees as the mouse climbed into her lap. It was a blue rose with the thorns picked off, and the mouse dropped it onto her dress, looking up expectantly.

“This... is for me?” she said, non-plussed. The mouse nudged the stem with its nose and Claudia picked it up, letting the fragrance fill her senses. There was only one garden in the castle that grew roses, and it wasn’t hers.

Lujanne had sent over a bundle of seeds months ago, for Ezran to plant as an experiment.

Claudia swallowed and then smiled, tucking the flower behind her ear. It nestled in gently, the same way its sender had snuck his way into her heart. She’d have to thank him later.

But perhaps today could be a day for indulgences, after all.

#claudiez #tdp #my fic #ficlet #headcanons #fic #fic: darkest fairytale in the dead of night

11 notes · View notes

josiecarioca · 4 years

Text

Acceptance (2020 version)

(Updated and reposted)

This story is part of “The Soren Snape Chronicles” series

Also available on AO3 : https://archiveofourown.org/works/25790668

October, 31, 2005

Severus didn't want a child.

And yet...here it was...

He approached the cradle with featherlight footsteps. It was a simple but elegant piece of furniture, made of heavy dark oak wood, a heirloom of Evelyn's family, that her mother had insisted on giving them. A wealth of delicate white and blue covers and a veil of rich Irish lace protected its tiny occupant from the late October chill.

Severus' long fingers drew back the covers to reveal the child to his sleep deprived eyes. A child who was barely more than an hour old. A child that wasn't expected. A mistake that shouldn't have happened, as far as his father had been concerned.

Severus didn't want a child.

Most people take parental instinct for granted. They imagine it's only natural for parents to love their children. It simply happened. Severus knew better. In fact he knew from experience that it just wasn't that simple. Nowhere near that simple...

And that was precisely the reason he had never considered fatherhood, even after his marriage to Evelyn. It wasn't even in the realm of possibilities. After all, what kind of father would he be? He couldn't see himself changing soiled nappies, reading bedtime stories, blowing up coloured balloons for birthday parties. Making sacrifices, being willing to expose himself to ridiculous situations, abdicating of so, so much. All because of a genetic connection to a child who, most likely, would never really appreciate any of it.

On top of it, Severus was getting old. Severus was 45 going on 90. That was no age to be starting a family, even by wizards' standards. He had imagined Evelyn felt the same. They had talked about it before, and she knew him well enough to be aware of his feelings on the matter, and she had decided to marry him anyway. It was safe to assume children were not among her priorities either.

When Evelyn told him of the news, she had done so in a grave, almost mournful manner. He had sat there for a quarter of an hour trying to digest it. She let him be. Evelyn knew there would be no fireworks, no smiles, no tears of joy, no celebration. But maybe she had expected him to, at least, be a mature about it.

He wasn't.

"How could this happen?...It's a mistake...You shouldn't have...We shouldn't have...We can't do this..."

He didn't even remember what had come out of his mouth. It was a torrent of nonsense and nothing more. She never answered. She just let him babble for what felt like hours. She stood there, stoic, listening to his mindless, senseless ramblings and accusations, never uttering a word. Once Severus was finally done, she still stood, silent. Her eyes were swelling with tears but she fought them, refusing to cry.

"Are you done, Severus?" she let out with a trembling, wounded voice.

"This is obviously...I mean, we can't...I can't...You knew it..."

"I didn't plan this, if that's what you're getting at..." Her voice barely rose. Cold, monotone. Severus hated that. He wished she would snap, scream, call him names...Anything would be better than this quiet, hissing rage boiling under that calm exterior.

"I know!" Severus almost screamed, frustrated. "It's just...there's no place for this..."

"This? What do you mean by 'this', Severus?"

How could he get her to understand?

It had taken him decades to open a space in his life, a space for someone who wasn't Lily... It took him decades and effort, so much effort. And he had done it, he had made room for Evelyn in his life. Not only that, he had made his life revolve around her, he had given her that place that had once belonged to Lily...Severus had given her more than this, actually. Lily had never shared his life, his every day and hour in the way Evelyn had. Lily was the distant, ideal love of his troubled youth. Evelyn had become his here and now, his entire existence. For seven years now, she had been the only person he allowed to get in, the only person whose opinion mattered, whose happiness mattered, the only person he thought about before every taking every step and making every decision. Severus had made room in his life for her, and she had grown into his heart in such a powerful way that there was no space left for anything or anybody else.

A second person didn't fit... There was no room...

Severus couldn't expect her to understand that. It would be asking to much of her...of any woman probably...But Evelyn was resolute: he was free to turn his back on the child, but if he did that, it was over between them.

Severus had expected her to do exactly that. Quite frankly, he would have been disappointed if she had done otherwise. Love came easily to Evelyn. She was generous in her affections in a way that Severus couldn't be, hard as he may try. How else could she have found it in her to love him, of all men? For her, loving this child wasn't a question. She had it in her to do it, she had it in her to love, naturally, without restriction. Severus didn't, had never had. Love was always a struggle for him. Obviously, she had put her child first, because that child needed her more than Severus did, and a generous heart will give love as love is needed, while a selfish heart will give love as it sees fit for its own purposes and interests. Unlike him, Evelyn wasn't so broken that she had to ration her love according to her own selfish needs and struggle to give it freely like he had. That kind of attitude was exactly the reason he respected and loved her...Exactly the reason he needed her...

Still, she left him little choice.

It's common for men to stay with a woman they don't love for the sake of a child they do love. Trust Severus Snape to go against all normal expectations...Severus stayed to welcome a child he didn't want for the sake of a woman he loved more than anything.

Severus didn't want a child.

And yet...here it was...

No, not "it"... "He". He was a boy. Severus had hoped for a girl. Maybe a girl would be easier to love... A girl who took after her mother... Yes, it would definitely be easier. Maybe he could transfer some of the love he had for the mother unto the child, if only that child had been a girl, a girl who looked like the mother, with the same warm golden-brown eyes, the same dark hair, the same earnest smile. Maybe if that was the case, he could force himself to love this child, even if only as an extention of Evelyn. For the long months before the delivery, Severus had held very few expectations about the child other than desperately wishing it was a girl.

Those were the pitifully few hopes and dreams Severus had about his own child. Any other father in his place would be making grand plans, arragements, daydreaming about the future. Any other man would be bursting out of his skin with excitement...But for the first few months Severus hadn't even followed Evelyn's pregnancy...

After that disastrous first exchange, the tension in their house had become unbearable for both. They argued frequently,which was something that had never happened before. Anything would set it off. Any awkward silence was reason for suspicion, any disagreement escalated into full-fledged accusations, any misunderstandment was the seed for a verbal altercations. And after every episode, Evelyn would isolate herself further and avoid him as one avoids a dangerous animal. He could overhear her crying frequently...Usually very late at night or early in the mornign when she thought he was asleep. She had always been too proud to cry in front of him, particularly when they argued. Her health had declined as well, he had noticed. Nausea was to be expected of someone in her condition, but there were days even a glass of water would make her ill. Some mornings she would be so sick, her sides would hurt from vomiting. Some other days she couldn't get out of bed, drained from exhaustion and vertigo.

It had come to a point they simply stopped talking aside from the strictly necessary for two people living under the same roof. Evelyn did it out of self-preservation; Severus out of fear...fear of what he might end up doing to her, as the ghost of Tobias Snape started to breathe down his neck. He himself decided it would be better to move to the guest room. He couldn't help his temper, and he was making her so sick and distraught that he had started to fear his mere presence might be dangerous.

The self-imposed distance hadn't helped matters. If anything, it had made it all worse. Both of them were becoming paranoid, quietly expecting the moment another argument would start. The avoidance only built tension, which was bound to explode eventually... Which it did...

...spectacularly.

She had been frightfully ill that day. Once more Severus had been ravaged by guilt, knowing himself responsible for it. This time around, however, instead of stepping aside, he had decided to offer help. Foolishly, he believed that brewing her something to ease her discomfort might make up for what he had put her through.

Evelyn raised her head from the pillow when he came into their bedroom and eyed the cup of tea he offered her suspiciously.

"What's this?"

"For your nausea."

"What's in it?" It was a perfectly innocent question. A question she had asked him many times before, whenever he brewed her something for a common cold or indigestion. She wasn't a potioneer, or even a witch; of course she would ask, she always did. But the weight of weeks upon weeks of paranoia had clouded his judgement.

"What do you mean by that?" he snapped.

"Excuse me?"

"What do you mean by 'what's in it'? What do you think I'd put in it?"

"I don't know...You're the potioneer. I'm just asking because some ingredients may be dangerous in my condition."

"And you think I'd put anything in this that might be dangerous to you 'in your condition'?"

"Of course not, Severus" she sounded too tired to argue anymore

"Then?"

"Then, what?"

"Just say what you mean to say."

"Pray tell, what do I mean to say?"

"You don't trust me, do you?"

"Do I have any reason not to?"

"What the hell kind of question is this, Evelyn? Don't tell me you think I've put something in this brew that would harm you or the..." he couldn't bring himself to say it

"What?! I didn't say that." she sat up with some difficulty, probably dizzy; she had been dizzy frequently lately.

"Not in so many words." he sneered

"What has gotten into you? Do you really believe I would...accuse you of putting something in my tea? To what purpose would you do that? Unless...Severus...Don't tell me..."

He had made it abundantly clear he didn't want a child. She had accused him so many times of wishing that child away, of wishing it gone. Lately she had avoided him so much he felt like she was afraid of him. Severus was afraid of himself even, sometimes.Why wouldn't she think...He had done worse things in his life that she knew of. In her shoes...wouldn't it be a reasonable concern? Still...The arguments, the hidden tears in the wee hours of the night, the avoidance, her shrinking away from him as if he was a viper ready to attack...Of course she would think that, wouldn't she?

It was all unfounded and he knew it. But once his paranoia had set the catastrophe on motion, there was little he could do to stop it. It simply escalated from there. Severus wasn't sure at which point he had flung the tea cup across the room shattering it on the wall, but from then on everything turned into what could be charitably described as a clusterfuck of amazing proportions. He continued his accusations because once started he simply had to continue...like walking into an abyss...He badgered her until the inevitable happened...She had enough taking his blows and, on pure instinct, decided to hurt him back.

"Fine, Severus! You're right! I'm afraid of you. Happy now? I'm afraid of you and what you can do when things don't go your way. And this is not what you wanted, is it? At least not with me, you didn't."

"What?!"

"Be honest, this is not about not wanting a child! You just don't want THIS child."

"Evelyn..."

"Would you have wanted it with somebody else? At some other time?" He could tell she was holding back from saying it. He could tell the words were bitter in her mouth before she said them.

"You're being unreasonable!"

"Yes, I am! I am being unreasonable! How can I be reasonable when I don't even know what to expect from you anymore!?" she was rambling through tears and Severus, for the first time, was afraid of what she might say or do next "Why do I keep insisting on this!? You're right, you'll never be a good father, Severus."

Severus could see the regret in her eyes as soon as she finished that last sentence. It wasn't that she was wrong...she wasn't. It was that she knew she had done it out of spite, to hurt him. She had this horrified look on her face; as if she couldn't recognise herself in her own words...As usual, Severus had the talent to ruin everything he touched. He had brought her down to his level. More than the pain her words caused him, what broke him in a million pieces was that he had driven her to had pushed a woman who loved him, in spite of all his flaws, into a corner and hounded her so much she had to hurt him back. A woman who wouldn't willingly hurt anyone, let alone someone she loved.

A heavy silence fell over them, and he knew something had snapped. Overnight she packed up and left. Back to Ireland. To her mother's house.

For the second time in his life Severus Snape had let his poor judgement piss away whatever chance of hapiness fate had allowed him. For the second time in his life Severus prayed he wasn't beyond fixing. For the second time in his life he had put his tail between his legs to go after a woman he had wounded deeply to beg for forgiveness, to grovel at her feet and beg her to look past his own calousness and give him a chance he knew didn't deserve. For the second time in his life he had stood for hours on end in front of a closed door, hoping, praying, imploring. For the second time in his life he had stood in plain view of the world, humiliated, waiting like a stray dog waits outside a house for the leftovers of the table to be tossed out so he can quell his hunger.

But this time around, Severus was given a second chance.

He had his mother-in-law to thank for this. Sophia had almost forced her daughter to talk to him, because, according to her "that was no way to treat your husband". Severus thanked heavens for her and her antiquate, conservative, Irish-Catholic ways. Evelyn had agreed to see him, merely because her mother had told her to. And stubborn as she was, Evelyn had such a deep reverence for her mother that she'd even swallow her pride and agree to give him an opportunity to speak, if only because her mother was the one asking.

Severus Snape was not a man to profess undying love through words. He had never been one to show affection in public. He didn't even think he knew how. But that day he did it. He would have done anything. In front of his mother-in-law, and his sister-in-law Severus Snape, one of the most powerful wizards in existence had fallen to his knees, and pathetically begged for a second chance. He promised her to be by her side, promised to try his best not to fail her, promised to try to be a decent father. He begged, like any man, like any man in love.

Evelyn, blessed be her heart and its seemingly endless ability to love, returned to him, and they moved on.

For months Severus watched as their child grew in her womb. He would be lying if he said he felt nothing. It wasn't joy per se, nor was it anticipation... But rather.. something akin to tenderness. Evelyn was happy, and more than that she was anxious. Every new purchase for the nursery, every doctor's appointment (she had insisted on a muggle doctor), every new addition to the endless collection of children's books and toys was an event to be celebrated. Severus couldn't say it didn't affect him. That her constant smile, her joy at the slightest movement of the child, her glowing cheeks and softer forms didn't affect him.

He was sure there was something purely instinctive about the way he felt during those months, about that fierce need to protect her from everything, that constant eagerness to make her happy. Even if his mind still refused to accept the idea of fatherhood, it was like his body had put him in a constant state of alert similar to that which some wild beasts go into when their mates are expecting. Genetic preservation instinct, his brain told him, explaining from a logical point of view that feeling he couldn't quite deal with.

For months he had been the most attentive father-to-be the world had ever seen. He became a slave to Evelyn's every whim and need. Half of it was pure guilt, the other half was paralyzing fear. Evelyn was 42. Any pregnancy at that age was delicate, but hers was particularly difficult. Worse still, there was a history of miscarriages and other gestational issues in her family as well. Her doctor had diagnosed her with a somewhat rare condition called hyperemesis gravidarum. She was constantly tired, violently nauseous and dehydrated; frequently dizzy and weak. Her blood pressure had been cause for concern early on. And then came the mood swings... Instead of losing his temper, Severus just obliged her. For months he took all the abuse she dished out on him whenever her hormones were making her erratic, and gave her whatever she wanted, did whatever she asked.

Severus even hired a nurse, despite Evelyn's protests. A squib named Protea. Evelyn had chosen her personally, once it became clear Severus would not give up on the idea. Evelyn was adamantly opposed to the idea of having house elves, for which Severus couldn't be more thankful, and she didn't want a witch either. She didn't want someone who could simply fix everything for her child with magic, which was reasonable seeing as Evelyn herself couldn't produce magic. But hiring a muggle was out of question, for secrecy reasons. The solution to their problem came in the form of a short, soft-spoken Londoner born to American expats, with both nursing and midwifery certificates, specialization in childcare and three decades of experience as a governess for muggle children.

Protea had been the closest thing to a guardian angel Severus could have hoped for. She was kind, considerate, efficient and Evelyn had been immediately smitten with her. Soon enough Protea had become her newest best friend, and a welcome bridge between Evelyn and himself. Protea would religiously report and patiently, yet sternly, walk Severus through every little thing he had to know, give him every single piece of information he needed to fulfill his fatherly duties. Thanks to her and the pile of books and articles she supplied him with, Severus had finally started to believe he could, after all, be a half-decent father.

But it was easy to be the perfect father when your child is nothing but a concept. Sometimes Severus would simply forget that at the end of the road there was a very real baby, that would require very real care. Fawning obsessively over his wife was an excellent way to distract himself from the thought. But when he remembered it, he remembered that he didn't want to be a father, he remembered he would be bound for life to something he hadn't planned, something he hadn't chosen, something he hadn't wanted. He remembered that everything would change, that Evelyn wouldn't be only his any longer, that the delicate balance they had arduously achieved in their relationship would be shattered again. At those moments he hated that baby...Then he hated himself for hating a person who wasn't even born yet. He twisted himself in knots to conceal these feelings from his blissfully unaware wife.

Evelyn had gone into labor on October 30th. The weather was cold and foul as Autumns tended to be in Hogsmeade, and the healer Protea had summoned to assist her had to brave piercing winds and merciless hail to get to their house, on the outskirts of the wizarding village. Evelyn had wanted to call her doctor in Glencoe, but Severus didn't trust a muggle doctor for this. If he had his way they'd have gone to St. Mungo's, but Evelyn had decided to have the child at home, trusting Protea's expertise. When the day finally arrived Severus cursed the moment he had agreed to it.

Protea had asked him if he wished to be with Evelyn for the delivery. He said no. He couldn't. Simply couldn't. It was one last act of cowardice on his part, to leave her alone, but he couldn't. What good would he do if he was there, anyway?

Waiting on the hallway as the heavy rain poured outside, Severus agonized for hours... Hours and hours...Hours that passed slowly and inexorably one after the other making their way into a dark and never-ending night...

A whole day had passed...

As the clock struck midnight, Severus felt a shiver down his spine.

October 31st.

Of all days of the year, he dreaded October 31st the most. The day Lily had been killed. The day that had changed his life and almost destroyed it.

The hours passed and he found himself, for the first time, wishing that baby was born. For the first time he found himself anticipating the moment it would cry for the first time. Not because he particularly wanted to hold his firstborn child in his arms. Severus just wanted it to end. He wanted her pain to end. He wanted to know she would be fine. He wanted to know he wouldn't, once again have his heart ripped from his chest on a damned All Hallow'Eve.

But the hours passed and he heard nothing but Evelyn's agonizing grunts and moans inside the bedroom. It wasn't over...

The rain stopped and the sun came out. A cold Autumn morning filled the hallway with a greyish-white glow...He felt his heart sink into his chest.

October 31st...

Halloween Day...

The day the dead walk the earth...

The day Lily had died...

Once again, Severus Snape could feel everything he cared for slipping through his fingers, as he stood powerless, unable to hold on.

Inside the bedroom, the moans grew fainter and faiter... She was exhausted, in pain...She might not make it...

All because of that child he didn't want...

Then there was silence. The sense of dread that filled him was like nothing he had ever felt before. It lasted only a few seconds. Then the child cried.

Finally.

There it was.

That child Severus didn't want.

Soren... Soren Prince Snape. Evelyn had chosen his first name. Apparently "Soren" was a synonym for "Severus", in Danish...or something to that effect, he wasn't sure...Soren Kierkegaard has been one of her late father's favorite authors, as well, and they had bonded over the Dane's writings when she was a teenager, which made it a nice posthumous hommage to him, in a way. "Prince" was also her choice for a middle name. An hommage to his mother.

Soren Prince Snape... A bit too pompous for such a small child, wasn't it?

Severus looked at the boy, taking in every little detail. He was so small... For a moment he wondered if he wasn't too small, But then he remembered he didn't know anything about babies or how big or small they are supposed to be. Severus's stretched out his hand, ever so carefully, and lightly touched the baby's head. Soren was born with a full head of very fine black hair, that stood up a bit at the top. He felt the soft scalp under his fingertips, but retracted his hand as it touched the soft spot. Yes, he had forgotten about those tricky details of an infant's anatomy. Details that made them so delicate to handle. Too delicate to handle.

Severus wondered how long it would take him to muster the courage to pick him up for the first time. He was just too small, too fragile. The pale-blue clothes he was dressed in looked like they could fit a child twice his size. The over-long sleeves almost covered his hands. Severus took one of those tiny hands into his. Soren fussed and grabbed his father's finger. Severus gave him a moment to settle down and pried the minuscule digits from his own and examined them. They were long like those of Severus himself, and his grip was strong...

It was a hand that, one day, would hold a wand with ease and confidence. A small smile formed on Severus' lips at the thought. Yes, one day... That child had the blood of the Prince family and the Black family. He was the firstborn son of Severus Snape, and his mother was an extremely accomplished scholar on her own right. One day he would be a great wizard, it was only obvious. A great Slytherin wizard. Maybe a Ravenclaw, if he took after his mother. He wouldn´t mind having a Ravenclaw for a son. In any case, he would be a great wizard. Severus was sure of that.

Lost in his momentary reverie, Severus barely noticed Soren had woken up... The boy made some little noises, and for a moment looked as if he would start crying. A small rush of panic ran through Severus. Evelyn was sound asleep and, after hours of labour, would be in no shape to help him soothe the baby if he started crying. He considered calling Protea, but fortunately it wasn't necessary. Soren didn't cry. Instead he just looked up at his father, his big dark eyes oddly focused.

Did he recognise the man looking down on him? No, that was a stupid notion. Newborns can't recognize anybody, except maybe their mothers. But as Soren looked up and frowned ever so slightly, Severus could't help but think that this seemingly grave expression might be an early indication of a thoughtful, maybe even inquisitive nature. He laughed at his own pretentions: at such a tender age a "thoughtful expresssion" usually meant no more than a bowel movement. Still he held his child's gaze, trying to find a hint of colour in his eyes. Would they be golden brown like Evelyn's or black like his own? Impossible to know now.

He did hope Soren wouldn't have his nose, however.It was a vain hope, he knew. All the men in the Snape family had it. It was a sort of family curse, so to speak. Soren was a Snape, hence he would have his nose. There would be some schoolyard bullying in store for him.Hopefully he might have some of his mother's good-looks to make up for it.

Soren's eyelids were heavy now. Once again Severus let his fingertips touch the top of his head, hoping that awkward caress would ease him back into sleep. It seemed to work. The little body relaxed, tiny hands closed into fists, his belly moving up and down with the regular rhythm of his breathing.

Severus was tired as well, his eyes burned, and his back hurt. Well, he was getting old, far to old to be starting a family. But that couldn't be helped now, could it?. He covered the cradle again, so the morning light wouldn't disturb Soren's sleep. Then, he kicked off his shoes and laid down besides Evelyn, too tired to even change out of his clothes.

Severus didn't want a child.

And yet...here he was...His son...

His son, Soren Prince Snape.

#Acceptance #NOT the divorce AU #that one is gonna be worse #Snape fanfiction #severus snape #angsty snape #Evelyn Black #Soren Snape #The Soren Snape chronicles #severus x evelyn #severus snape x evelyn black #severus snape x OC

28 notes · View notes