#the ersatz elevator | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

free-my-boy-grumbot · 1 year

Text

Ranking the ASOUE parts because I’m bored and my friend isn’t online

i would love to keep it extensive but i also don’t want tumblr to crash so i will keep it brief. spoilers, obviously. also charcater death.

13. The Grim Grotto

Listen just because it’s 13th doesn’t mean it’s BAD, it just means i’m kinda indifferent to it as opposed to obsessing over it like i do with the others. It’s just that I’m not THAT into nautical themes and I have 2 nautical-themed assignments to do in school today so I’m a little sick of it.

Also, I’m just not that big on Fiona as a character. I didn’t really like the two-girls-hate-each-other-for-no-reason thing that she had going with Violet (especially because it was really out of charcater for her), her romance with Klaus seemed out of place, and her being related to Fernald just seemed like it was pulled out of nowhere to get an emotional reaction. Again, I get why you’d like her and the part, it’s just not for me personally. Also esme’s worst outfit was featured here. Also in the netflix series it just wasn’t as funny as the other ones and that’s a huge thing for me

12. The Wide Window

Honestly didn’t expect this one to be so low, but it’s difficult to choose between these bc i love them all </3 anyways I actually liked Josephine as a charcater, I like the idea that she wants to help the children but is rendered basically incompetent because of her fear, they really popped off with that. HOWEVER they did a very similar thing with Hector but way better so alas </3 12th place

Also like I said, not a massive fan of sea-themed aesthetics. Also also I LOVE all of count olaf’s disguises but I’m kind of indifferent to captain Sham so that also might be why. Also, again, the rest of the netflix series was way funnier

11. The Carnivorous Carnival

Honestly, not much to say about this one. The “not really feeling strongly one way or the other” section has come early this year apparently. Esme and Olivia both SLAYED in their outfits and we got introduced to the circus crew which was cool as fuck. Sadly I have knocked SEVERAL points off for horny count olaf. The scene where he describes madame lulu as buttered really makes you appreciate how little force it takes to rip one’s ear off. It provides me with a new and informed understanding of the phrase “skin crawling”. other than that it’s pretty good :)

10. The Slippery Slope

Now I was one of those people who didn’t know what Mount Fraught syndrome was before reading this book, and the reveal of why the mountain was named that fucking eviscerated me. I was used to this series pulling shit like this constantly and yet this one destroyed me for some reason. If you already knew what mount fraught syndrome was before reading/watching this scene then you didn’t get the full experience and i’m sorry for you.

I also don’t LOVE quigley and violet. I know i just said that about klaus and fiona so it kinda seems like i hate romance, but i really dont. i hate forced romance. romance just isn’t daniel handlers strong suit but he insists on writing it anyway, and that’s fine. it’s what i do with basically everything i write about. Especially since in the netflix series duncan also has a crush on violet so it’s kinda ??? for her to end up with quigley. like do you guys think when quigley and duncan reunited quigley told him about this really cool girl called violet he met and duncan was like “…”. anyways imagine getting cucked by your presumed dead twin brother could not be me

9. The Austere Academy

okay so i felt bad putting this lower because i know someone that really likes this part but i’m sorry it’s just kinda there. i mean it was super funny and the dead horse bit is literally everything but that’s pretty much it. idk maybe there’s a metaphor in there that i’m missing who knows

also olivia was introduced so bonus points for that i guess. she reminds me of miss honey from matilda <33

8. The Ersatz Elevator

honestly i feel bad that this is only 8th but there are so many good ones imsorry. anyways esme and jerome got introduced in this one which gives is a LOT of extra points. i love esme and i pity jerome which makes me also love him. also shoutout to günther for being the only count olaf disguise that could theoretically get it.

my only issue with it is that jerome disowning the baudelaires was kinda forced yk?? like i know it had to happen for the plot to carry on but i don’t think he had a good reason to do it. i guess points for doing something other than just killing them off again?

7. The End

OKAY so you might be thinking “oh, this part is exactly in the middle! surely that means you’re neuteral about it” LMAO I WISH i have extreme positive and negative opinions.

okay so first off it took me a couple of rewatches to get this one because when i first watched it i didn’t know about the quote that it was referencing (“religion is the opium of the people”) but MAN they mentioned that quote in class and i was catatonic for like 2 minutes because oh my god. not only did the incredibly deadly viper come back (yippieee) but they also implied that in the bible adam and eve were actually saved from something by eating the fruit?? the 4chan atheist that lives in my head really likes this one, is what i’m saying. also i know i say that about all of them because my sense of humour is basically based on this series rn but it was so funny. i live and breathe for olaf’s lil christopher columbus moment.

sadly it does have its downsides (olaf and kit) (i really hate olaf and kit) (i don’t think they’re good together). i mean SURELY kit has better taste than that. i mean don’t get me wrong they’re both my favourite characters but they have no common ground on literally anything. plus this is biased but i liked him better with georgina or esme because they remind me of several songs i really like. they literally just pulled the kit x olaf thing out of their ass so that olaf would have some semblance of a reason to die. oh yea i also think olaf didn’t need to die, i know Kit didn’t eat the antidote because it would have affected the baby but olaf could have totally eaten it!! he was offered it!! he wasn’t pregnant!!! it was so out of charcater for him not to eat it!!

6. The Hostile Hospital

Okay this one is SUPER biased because as y’all probably know i love the mad scientist trope it is my favourite trope ever AND i love count olaf so seeing them get put together was so cool. I know I keep bringing this up but i really do love the aesthetics they’re so cool. also also loved all the horror film references. most importantly (actually not that important) esmes outfit went so fucking hard literally i will never recover from the sheer power and moxie of Knife Heels. When I become actually talented at textiles i will recreate her outfit and probably ruin my carpet with those heels.

5. The Bad Beginning

a classic <33 the netflix version of this was literally one of the funniest eps of anything i ever watched i could feel my brain chemistry being rearranged as i watched it. also count olaf’s best era idc what he did he was literally just being sillay. also it has one of the best songs in the series honestly. OH ALSO justice strauss <33 and the troupe <333 literally all the beloveds are here there are no flaws

4. The Reptile Room

MONTY <333 HIIII MONTYYYY <33333333 literally my fav character he has never done anything wrong in his life ever. Also I love his fucking house it’s so cool if I had that much money I too would base my entire house on my special interest. also one of the only parts of the nickelodeon movie i didn’t hate so that’s fun.

3. The Miserable Mill

Lots of cool shit here!! First of all Shirley served astronomical amounts of cunt she had zero bad lines. Also I honestly think Georgina and Olaf were so underrated they remind me of several songs i like also they’re both fucked up and evil <333 she’s like esme but without the ulterior sugar bowl motives. also the fact that her name is GEORGINA ORWELL like ok. queen of subtlety. Like I get it if I was named that I would prolly start hypnotising people too. I also kinda love orwellian themes yk those are always fun.

AND OMG HOW COULD I FORGET CHARLESSS i feel so bad for him constantly he has never done anything wrong in his life and is also inexplicably british i love him sm

2. The Penultimate Peril

I love a good reunion episode tbh i love seeing all the characters together <33 also like this episode is so fun to dissect? (is that the right word?) i loved figuring out who JS was i loved finding differences between Frank and Ernest I loved figuring out what the fuck was going on it was so fun it’s like the best thing about this series.

of course that’s only partially true tpp would be nothing without those sexy sexy monologues

1. The Vile Village

TVV BELOVED <33 I have a separate post about the but they literally have everything. it’s a metaphor for autism it’s a metaphor for religion it’s a metaphor for the school system is there anything they CANT do. Also this is like my 5th time saying this but there are 300+ characters and i’m an indecisive bitch so i will do it again. Hector the actual loml is literally my fav charcater hes so me. don’t worry dude i cant openly defy authority despite knowing its unjust either <3 literally we would be best friends irl. she’s RELATABLE she’s MORALLY AMBIGUOUS she has SEVERAL INTERPRETATIONS I AGREE WITH she’s STRANGE she’s everything you want in an asoue book honestly

Also detective dupin and officer luciana kinda slayed what was Wrong with them <3

#cameron monologues #asoue #a series of unfortunate events #the bad beginning #the reptile room #the wide window #the miserable mill #the austere academy #the ersatz elevator #the vile village #the hostile hospital #the carnivorous carnival #the slippery slope #the grim grotto #the penultimate peril #the end asoue

25 notes · View notes

unfortunatetheorist · 8 months

Text

What made The Sinister Duo take a liking to Esmé (during The Slippery Slope)? - NCT

This has been something I've been thinking about quite recently - what was it about Esmé that compelled The Sinister Duo to act the way they did towards her?

We obviously know that Esmé had told The Duo about her despicable acts of The Ersatz Elevator... but what if she told them more? What if she told them all about what happened between her and Olaf, every step of the way, from TEE to TSS?

Assuming this to be true, we get the following theory:

THEORY: The Duo manipulated Esmé into breaking up with Olaf.

Here's a few points about this:

The Duo and Esmé BOTH want the sugar bowl for the same reason - power. Olaf, however, has tunnel-vision on the Baudelaire (and, to an extent, Quagmire) fortune(s) and fails to recognise the importance of the Sugar Bowl.

The Duo get Esmé to agree with them on this point - and it works:

The Duo use the common ideology/goal of the Sugar Bowl to get Esmé to FOCUS on the Sugar Bowl, and GET RID OF OLAF - The Duo convince Esmé to see their point [which she does in TPP] - Olaf is of no use - in trying to get the Sugar Bowl AND as a fire-starting member of The Schism.

In The Penultimate Peril, Esmé realises the 'value' of The Duo's words, as she finally dumps Olaf.

Interestingly, this makes it VERY clear that The Duo can read (and predict) the emotions of others like a book; this is something they use to their advantage: they know Esmé is disappointed and angry with Olaf and Olaf is angry with himself; he's trying and failing to please his girlfriend, and he takes his anger out on the Baudelaires, which we really see during the 'shouty bit' of TGG:

"YES, I KNOW YOU WANT THE SUGAR BOWL! I'M GOING TO FIND IT FOR YOU, I PROMISE!" - Olaf to Esmé, TGG

¬ Th3r3534rch1ngr4ph, Unfortunate Theorist/Snicketologist

#asoue #asoue netflix #vfd #lemony snicket #snicketverse #a series of unfortunate events #theory #esme squalor #sugar bowl #the sinister duo #tmwabbnh #twwhbnb #tss #the slippery slope #the ersatz elevator #the grim grotto #the penultimate peril

13 notes · View notes

melodysbookhaven · 1 year

Text

“If we wait until we're ready, we'll be waiting for the rest of our lives.”

Lemony Snicket, The Ersatz Elevator (A Series of Unfortunate Events, #6)

#lemony snicket #the ersatz elevator #a series of unfortunate events #bookblr #bookish #book quotes #books #quotes #bookstagram #booktok #book tumblr #reading #book club #book lover

59 notes · View notes

emmettverhoogen · 8 months

Text

“You gave me specific instructions not to let the children back in, Mrs. Squalor,” the doorman said. “At least, until Gunther left the building. And he still hasn’t left.”

“Don’t be absurd,” Esmé said. “He left the penthouse last night. What kind of doorman are you?”

“Actually, I’m an actor,” the doorman said, “but I was still able to follow your instructions.”

Esmé gave the doorman a stern look she probably used when giving people financial advice. “Your instructions have changed,” she said. “Your new instructions are to let me and my orphans go directly to my seventy-one-bedroom apartment. Got it, buster?”

#esmé squalor #a series of unfortunate events #asoue #the ersatz elevator #quotes #the financial advising stern look #lemony snicket #esme squalor

17 notes · View notes

asouearchitecture · 10 months

Text

an attempt at Cafe salmonella

#asoue #art #snicketverse #pencil drawing #Tee #the ersatz elevator #Café salmonella #Very fishy decoration #I'm so sorry for the wait #I've tried to do something for months #But I could never get it out.

11 notes · View notes

quotessentially · 1 year

Photo

From Lemony Snicket’s The Ersatz Elevator

#quote #quotes #Lemony Snicket #The Ersatz Elevator #words #books #literature

31 notes · View notes

litandlifequotes · 6 months

Text

If we wait until we’re ready, we’ll be waiting for the rest of our lives.

The Ersatz Elevator by Lemony Snicket

#lemony snicket #the ersatz elevator #classic #literature #book #book quote #quote #reading #words

6 notes · View notes

artificial-librarian · 1 year

Text

An influencer adopts some orphans trying to be vogue, but soon tries to kill them to pursue her dream of acting.

#the ersatz elevator #lemony snicket #a series of unfortunate events #asoue

4 notes · View notes

beatricebidelaire · 17 hours

Text

"Your mother was adventurous, too. You know, she and I were very good friends a ways back. We hiked up Mount Fraught with some friends--gosh, it must have been twenty years ago. Mount Fraught was known for having dangerous animals on it, but your mother wasn't afraid. But then, swooping out of the sky -"

mount fraught trip was around 20 years ago (possibly more). jerome have known beatrice (and others) for at least 20 years at that point. meaning jsjs have known each other for at least two decades at the time of jacques's death, not that it's ever confirmed if jerome ever did find out about jacques's death. most definitely longer bc jerome squalor is not someone who will simply go hiking with people he just met.

also, violet's 14, so the trip was 6 years before violet's birth. if you place beatrice between early to mid 20s when violet was born, then mount fraught trip was late teens. jacques is, let's say around .... 4 years older than her, maybe. in his early 20s on mount fraught trip. i do not know where im going with this. but seeing exact, concrete numbers always makes me excited

#vera.txt #jerome squalor #jacques snicket #beatrice baudelaire #the ersatz elevator

7 notes · View notes

dragoneyes618 · 2 years

Quote

One of the greatest myths in the world-and the phrase "greatest myths" is just a fancy way of saying "big fat lies"-is that troublesome things get less and less troublesome if you do them more and more.

- Lemony Snicket, The Ersatz Elevator

Kit: And you wonder why you have trouble making friends, L.

#lemony snicket #kit snicket #asoue #a series of unfortunate events #the ersatz elevator #snicket quotes #snicket quote

10 notes · View notes

poptartcrash · 2 years

Photo

#A Series of Unfortunate Events #The Ersatz Elevator #Lemony Snicket

5 notes · View notes

tinybookgirl · 2 years

Text

A Photo For Every Book I Read This Year: The Ersatz Elevator by Lemony Snicket

#books #a series of unfortunate events #asoue #the ersatz elevator #lemony snicket

2 notes · View notes

unfortunatetheorist · 6 months

Text

Where does Laszlo (from Lemony Snicket's 'The Dark') fit into the ASOUE universe?

When it comes to Lemony Snicket, there's always some ludicrous connections somewhere, and I think I've found some which are beyond the realms of comprehension:

In Snicket's picture book, "The Dark", there are 4 people the book mentions:

Lemony Snicket, the author

The Dark

Laszlo, a boy who learns to stop being afraid of the dark

Jon Klassen, the illustrator

There are some key, noteworthy points to mention here:

Laszlo goes to get a fresh bulb for his nightlight because it goes out. (I'll explain in a moment)

Jon Klassen is from WINNIPEG.

Yeah.

In addition, we know that Handler likes to make real people in-universe characters, such as Brett Helquist and even himself (as Linda Rhaldeen, The Hostile Hospital).

Therefore...

THEORY PART 1: Jon Klassen is related to Duchess R[amona] of Winnipeg. Perhaps Ramona Quimby is her married name, and Ramona Klassen her maiden name.

Now, we know that Laszlo goes to get a fresh bulb because his nightlight goes out - but what if this is Lemony, yet again, covering up the truth?

He does it so masterfully, and it really shone throughout the Netflix series, the way he sets up character profiles and moves the plot forward in such a way that readers/viewers forget about what happened. From the cyclical appearance of Justice Strauss [TBB & TPP], to the reminders that the Baudelaires are orphans - we definitely would've forgotten without them.

THEORY PART 2 - NCT: Laszlo lives at 667 Dark Avenue, and this story takes place during the time of TEE, when dark is declared out, and light is declared in. This explains his desperate want for a nightlight; he doesn't want to be seen as unfashionable by anyone.

THEORY PART 2.5 - BCT: Laszlo is an islander who (for some strange reason) lives in the arboretum with Ishmael, who was presumably fast asleep when this incident occurred. Then again, now that I think about it, this part makes little sense...

One last thing: we never get any mention of any relatives to Laszlo. This inevitably means:

THEORY PART 3: Laszlo is an orphan.

It's just a given at this point.

¬ Th3r3534ch1ngr4ph, Unfortunate Theorist/Snicketologist.

#asoue #vfd #lemony snicket #a series of unfortunate events #snicketverse #asoue netflix #theory #esme squalor #the dark #laszlo #jon klassen #ishmael #the end #the ersatz elevator #duchess of winnipeg #duchess r #ramona quimby #ramona klassen?#orphan

15 notes · View notes