#the crop top is a thing im liking | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

boxwinebaddie · 9 months

Note

psst! nina! -slides you $20- record store stan and comic book store kyle hanging out on their lunch break…plz 😩🥺💍

excuse me!!!! i am an upstanding law abiding citizen! i would never take a bribe!!!!...but if it somehow ended up on the floor or in my purse while i wasn't looking sahdhdkjs

but bestie i would have done it for free <3 i fucking...Love stan and kyle having edgy boy nerdy boy boyfriend solidarity they're so fkn cute to me oh my god aaaaa

also they work right across the street from each other so they do be shamelessly ogling each other all the time when they're supposed to be working. they also call each other on their work phones all the time and kyle is like "stan i told u not to call me when i'm working!!!!" and stan is like "but i MISSED u!" and hes like "bitch i am literally across the street" and stan is like "so cross the street and give me a big wet sloppy kiss dummy!" shdkjsa

they also totally badly prank call each other which is so funny bc its like I CAN SEE U STUPID!!! and also sometimes jealous kyle calls in like STAN IF YOU DONT TELL THAT BITCH W THE LANA DEL REY ALBUM AND THE BELLY BUTTON PIERCING U HAVE A BOYFRIEND RN IM COMING OVER THERE SHSKHD my hero oh my god!! stan is like ITS FOR HER GIRLFRIEND GENIUS SHE ALSO BOUGHT GIRL IN RED skahsd hes like that man in there tho with all the hair products in his hair!!!! he is not trying to score spiderman hes trying to score ur number sex-c!!! tell him ur closed...also my hero

i am like in the trenches of writer girl hell writing thirteen and trying to put good vibes back into my life so i...unfortunately could not put actions in it ( if u slide me $10 tho...i might consider it ) it's just dialogue but its funny i swear help!!! theyre cute!!!

...i hope this was worth your 20 dollars that ended up mysteriously in my pocket. Please Clap.

*DING!*

“Hey! Welcome to Vinyl Tap! My name is Stan, how may I help you—“

“Yooou know you’re not allowed in here anymore, sir!”

“And why is that…” “Kimberley?” *they never made stan a name tag*

“Because!” “You’re too tall…and good looking. No one will buy anything when you’re in here. They’re too busy looking at you. Me included.”

*stan winks and waves* *kyle rolls his eyes and does a sarcastic twirl*

“And management told me you keep checking out the check out guy at the counter. Absolutely unacceptable behavior.” “You disgust me.” “At least buy me dinner first.”

“I bought you lunch, actually, Asshole.” “Here’s dessert, bitch.” *kyle flips stan off*

“Aw! So sweet, bro! Just for that, you can have a bite.” *stan flips kyle off* “Sorry, your blood sugar looked low.” “And listen, If you’re gonna flip me off at least flip the sign around, you skyscraper! Mmkay?”

“Mmkay.”

“Ooh, ooh, oooooh! What is it?”

“Sniff.”

“NO!”

“Yes.”

“Oh my god?! Is it the super fucking delicious marinated tofu bahn mi from that new vegan Vietnamese food truck that parks next to City Hall? That I’ve been talking about—“

“For weeks. Yes. Please shut the fuck up now.”

“Did you add extr—“

“Extra jalapeño. Obviously, dipshit. I’m surprised you still have working taste buds.”

“Annnnnd—“

“And a Laaaarge Thai tea, sub oat milk. Yeah, yeah, yeahhh, whatever P r i n c e s s.”

“MY KY TEA!”

*holds his orange drink up to his kyles orange head excitedly*

“I totally forgot to pack a lunch earlier and everything! This is going to save my Life. Ugh, Dude, KP! You are LITERALLY the Best!”

*leans across the counter to hug kyle n almost crushes him 2 death*

“I know. And I have several awards and accolades that will back that statement up.”

“Also, I fucking K N E W it!”

“Knew what, motherfucker?”

“That you forgot to take your fucking ADHD medication again!”

“Nooooo…”

“Maaaaaybe…”

“Stan…”

“I know, I know, I knoooooow! I’m sorry! But also, if I am ‘chemically imbalanced’ or whatever and have a hard time remembering shit and focusing, why the fuck would they give me this thing I have to remember to do every morning? Like, it’s just so—“

“Babe.”

“Bro?”

“Food, drink, pill.”

“Fooooood, driiiiink, pillllll~”

*stan is very pleased with his stan-wich*

“Oh my god. D A N K.” “Best lunch EVER. I’m sooooo happy, I could totally k i s s you right now!”

“So kiss me, Dumbass.”

“Well, since you asked so nicely…”

*alexa play pony by ginuwine ;)*

*...did stan jump up on the counter and wrap his legs around kyle's waist...i can neither confirm nor deny these allegaytions ur honor*

“Peppermint.”

“Cherry.”

“Swap?”

“Swap.”

“Cherry.”

“Peppermint.”

“Way better.”

“Agreed?”

“Agreed.”

*kyle pulls back n eyes stan incredulously...and indecently ;)*

“Hold on a second…” “Marsh…”

“Broflovski?”

“Where is the rest of your shirt?”

“Out to lunch?” “Boo! Are you seriously dissing my fit, right now, bro?”

“Your fit would not FIT an eight year old boy!"

“Take it up with Kenny! He did it last night. He said it would help bring in sales.”

“He would say that.” “And what kind? OnlyFans?”

*deflecting and distraught bc...Hot*

“Kyle, c’mon! It’s c u t e!”

“It’s a CROP TOP.”

“It’s fun!”

“It’s INDECENT.”

“You’re staaaaring~” *stan shamelessly teasing kyle vc*

“It stared at me first.” *kp scowl insult combo bc hes nervous rip*

“It’s hot out there!”

“It’s hot IN here.”

“Ooh, say that again.”

“That.”

“Nevermind, I fucking hate you.” *more middle finger*

“I love you too.” *kissy noises*

“Ew, cute.” “But my eyes are up here. Pervert.”

*stan props kyles chin up on his finger so they can make sexually charged eye contact...seek jesus*

“They’re pretty…”

“Pretty weird looking.”

*stan looking crispy because he just got roasted*

“I’M weird looking!? Have you SEEN yourself?”

“Oh, HELL no! I am not taking smoke from a dude with frosted tips wearing low rise jeans and a shirt that looks like it could have been purchased from the junior girls section of Target. All you need is Kenny to tattoo a butterfly tramp stamp on you and you’re good to go, Paris Hilton.”

“And I'M not taking SMOKE from a dude wearing his dorky Cosmic Comic work uniform hat forwards instead of backwards like anyone over the age of 12.”

*stan totally takes his hat off and wears it like a backwards fuckboy snapback, kyle starts choking help sdsjh*

“Basketball shorts and…a Batman baseball tee that looks like it could have been purchased from the junior BOYS section of Target.” “Even if it does make your arms look really good.”

“Really? Ah-ahah. T-Thank you. Your a-arms also—” *nervous kyle stuttering* “Clever diversion tactic, but Stan, do NOT start this fight with me again! I reeeeally do not want to have this fight AGA—“

“Dude, he’s like, not even a Real superhero! He literally BOUGHT his way into being a superhero! He has no superpower! His superpower is being RICH!”

“Bro, so did IRON MAN!”

*cue stan and kyles regular n daily marvel dc fight to the death*

“OKAY! Well, Tony Stark has a wicked sweet robot butler and Bruce Lame-yne just has that weird creepy old guy who should probably have his name on the sex offenders list.”

*kyle absolutely fucking aghast*

“I’m sorry — Did you just refer to Alfred as ‘that weird creepy old guy’?”

“—Who probably wants to diddle little boys, but yes, that’s exactly what I said, Kyle!”

*eye twitches in rabid comic book boy*

“…And are you implying that Jarvis is cooler than ALFRED?!”

“I am not just implying that information…”

“I am d e l i n e a t i n g it to you.”

*stan using his english hw vocab rizz like kyle look look i studied*

“Mwah.”

*stan flabbergasted dramatic boy sounds*

“EXCUSE ME!!!! DID YOU JUST THROW MY KISS IN THE TRASH!?!?”

*he shoooooots, he scooooores*

“No, I threw in it in recycling because I know you’re a hoe for the environment.”

*stan abt to ask kyle to help him find something in the stock room...i really hope its the bible*

“…Okay, w-wowz—Jesus Christ. Ky, you know it’s seriously so hot to me when you recycle responsibly, but..."

*rizzed stan so hard oh my god hes blushin omg is it hot in here*

“Hope you heal from being a DC dickrider.”

“And I hope you heal from gargling Marvel’s balls.”

“Y’know, I still cannot believe you don’t like Batman, Stan. Like you are literally a DICK GRAYSON variant!”

“Woah, you said Dick with a loooot of confidence. Watch out; people might think you’re gaaaa—“

*kyle mad as hell bc he got dusted by his sbbf*

“Yeah, very funny, Stan. It’ll be way funnier when I bury this shithole on Yelp when I accuse you of a hate crime.”

“Okay, concept: hear me out. No hate crimes, just…” “Date Time?”

*stan vana white hand flourish w the emo boy rings*

“How about…we call you in some chicken strips, curly fries an—“

“CANIHAVEACHER—“

*absolutely feral diabetes boy behavior*

“Yes, oh my goood, you fucking FIEND…You can have a cherry coke. But…BUT! it has to be MEDIUM, KP! M e d i u m! Last time you had a large you got totally cracked out on liquid candy carbonation and started talking CRAZY. Like, you literally sounded like a cult leader. I thought you were going to start having religious visions and shit; it was scary.”

*stan shiny eyes emoji*

“Then…can we pleaaaase eat at the pond?! Please, please, please? I bought a mason jar full of oats in my backpack so I could feed the ducks! The little ones are soooo cut—“

“You remembered a lunch for the DUCKS and not yourself?!” “Ugh, and Stan, I HATE Stark’s Pon—“

*three fingers in the air assistant troop leader stan vc scouts honor*

“I promise to protect you from children, frisbees, the elderly, unpredictable water fowl and people with petitions…Do we have a deal, Kyle Pile?”

*oh no not the eyelash flutter...its super effective*

“…If one of those sick, feathered fucks bites me or shits on me, I’m turning that pond into duck soup.”

“YAY!” “Okay, let’s go. Hold my hand?”

“Stan, are you five years old?”

*stanley marsh signature pout...ur litrally proving his point bff*

“Kyle, you KNOW crossing the street freaks me out.” “Now hold my freaking hand, Assface!”

*aw romance*

“Wooooow, trying so hard to hold my hand. Watch out; people might think you’re gaaaa—“

*stan like five centimeters away from kyles mouth*

“…P l e a s e, baby?”

*more extremely nervous flustered kyle stuttering*

“I—W-whatever.” “There, happy?”

“Extremely.”

“Your hands are sweaty.”

“You make me nervous.”

*bebe vc* And Scene ;)

#aw...true love #bestie im sorry this is not my finest work but i hope u laugh thank u for buying me lunch #SPEAKING OF BUYING PEOPLE LUNCH kyle remembering stans crunchy boy lil lunch order...AW STAN CALLING KYLE HIS KY TEA LIKE PLS #idk why i put stan in a crop top but also i know he looked good kyle was mad as hell and wanted to makeout abt it smh #they really do b bickering like an old married couple #THEY HAVE THE DC MARVEL FIGHT EVERY DAMN DAY ITS SO UNSERIOUS #them being like damn thats pretty gay bro watch it bro people might think ur gay bro #my sons...who i raised...myself...with sharon and shelia...amen...<3 #THEM DOING THE MMKAY CALL AND RESPONSE IS LIKE THEIR RUNNING INSIDE JOKE #kyle talks abt recycling and stans like im going to do terrible and obscene things to u in the stock room...smh

9 notes · View notes