Edmond: I will use my enemies's information against them >:) Edmond 5 mins later: WHAT THE HECK IS THIS??

Thomas is not the only early 1800s boi who was robbed of a happy life with his beloved due to a jealous boi.

Original tumblr post

Eugenie Danglars and Louise got a hotel room with two beds and only used one of them. Like rip to ur only one bed trope but I'm different

Happy Pride

Edmond Dantes' Personal Ass-Kicking Playlist:

"Look What You Made Me Do" by Taylor Swift

Repeat Song #1 over and over for approx. 23 years

that's it that's all i got

Beauchamp: *literally doing nothing* Albert: You defame my father's honor lets fight to death.

For some reason there is nothing funnier to me than King Louis XVIII acting like he came straight out of a telenovela with all the sass of a teen drama show character:

"At the sight of this agitation Louis XVIII pushed from him violently the table at which he was sitting."

"Louis made a gesture of indescribable anger and alarm, and then drew himself up (from the table he just shoved???? Who knows) as if this student blow had struck him at the same moment in heart and countenance."

"'... for my fortune is theirs - before me they were nothing - after me they will be nothing, and perish miserably from incapacity- ineptitude! Oh, yes, sir, you are right - it is fatality!'"

"Really impossible! Yes, that is a great word, sir. Unfortunately, there are great words, as there are great men; I have measured them. Really impossible for a minister who has an office, agents, spies, and fifteen hundred thousand francs for secret service money, to know what is going on at sixty leagues from the coast of France!"

Not to mention the rest of that chapter- slimy Villefort and his increased importance (ugh that pissed me off so much I love it) or the way I want nothing more than to put wii music behind a compilation of everyone just ignoring Villefort acting super suspicious. I just. I can't

what if meme

disclaimer I own nothing everything belongs to the rightful owners please go and support them and be nice

what if bill and moll sang this man is dead

Is it too niche if I make "Vigilante Shit" memes with The Count of Monte Cristo?

A couple of points that appear in Robin Buss' modern translation of this chapter that are missing from the 19th-century translation:

When Edmond is summarizing his tale of woe, the old translation has him say, "My captain is dead; I have barely escaped; but I am a good sailor." Buss' translation adds two more woes to the list: at the beginning, that the ship he was sailing on is sunk, and at the end, that he has lost all his clothes and been left "totally naked". And again, when the captain suggests that Jacopo lend Edmond his spare clothes, there's a reminder that he's "stark naked". (You may recall, if you cast your mind back, that he disrobed before getting in the bodybag, because the men carrying the bodybag would have been suspicious if they felt that the occupant was still wearing clothes.)

One can understand why a Victorian translator would have wanted to avoid reminding the reader that the protagonist was doing all this in a state of exposure, but it did mean that as I was reading the chapter I was left wondering why Edmond wasn't worried that his rescuers would see that he was wearing prison clothes, and then why he needed to borrow clothes from them.

Speaking of Jacopo: Where the old translation describes him as "a sailor of a frank and manly appearance", Buss has the more specific "a sailor with a frank and open face, framed in long side-whiskers". If I had a nickel for every time the old translation has elided a description of a man with side-whiskers...