#that's a specific concrete thing that happened that you should probably know what happens in it
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there is something, and i'm saying this nicely, wrt to participating in fandoms & like. the idea of do you have to interact with the source material to enjoy a certain fandom or fanworks about it. and to me the answer is 'no'. there have been plenty of fandoms over the years that i have consumed fanworks of (either bc i didn't have time to watch the whole thing or lost my attention span, or it was a video game i didn't have a system for & i just gathered what information i could about it, or is was a show or something i didn't have easy access to (it was the early 00s, after all)). i admire fanworks' ability to draw people in and show them they could be interested in something they may have never even considered picking up before.
however if we're talking about creating for the fandom with no desire to interact at all with the source material, then, well. hm. with comics especially i totally get that there's a lot of different writers & characterizations & even the source material format can vary *so wildy* it can be easy to want to act like none of it matters because there's no true concrete unchanging linear canon. after all, any of the batman movies are a canon to draw from. so is batman '66. any of the animated shows as well. so is post-crisis continuity. so is rebirth continuity. comics fandom is a medium where you do have to do some cherry-picking when you form a preferred personal characterization of a character. and everyone will have their own interpretations & that's a general good! differences in opinion are a good thing. but if you're going to create for a fandom and address actual, concrete things that happen in canon then you're not actually dealing with a "well there's lots of different canon sources to choose from" thing. because now there *is* a specific, concrete thing that happened. if you're talking about bruce dying & returning that is a specific storyline that happened and is unchanging. if you're talking about the dick and tim fallout + resolution story from red robin #1-12 that is a specific thing that happened in one specific story that happened and is unchanging. there's not a batman '66 version of bruce getting lost in time. there's not a dcau version of the dick & tim red robin fight. it's not a thing where it's like "well who is tim drake anyways? there's lots of different versions of tim". that specific scenario happened to a *very specific* version of the character. if you're trying to address a very specific plotline, shouldn't there at least be some awareness of what actually went down in it? how do you know what you want to change and why you want to change it if you haven't experienced it for yourself?
and not that it can't be fun to play with how different versions of the characters might respond to plotlines they've never been party to & it certainly can be very fun to explore the tropes of certain plotlines with different versions of the characters, or mishmashed versions of different continuities of the characters. it's just. if you're trying to address or expand upon a certain, specific plot point that happened in a specific story to specific versions of the characters, then it's not so simple as "well there's no one true canon or canon for the character" bc the one true canon of that story event usually does in fact exist with the characterization it was written with. rebirth character differences existing now doesn't affect what happened then. those events are things that happened. idk.
#idk it's like 'well comics reboot and then that washes out the old canon so new continuity is no less canon than old continuity' is true but#but if you're like 'i wanna address what happens in the knightfall story'#that's a specific concrete thing that happened that you should probably know what happens in it#if you wanna transform it#it's not 'well bruce has many different iterations' he does. but. knightfall happened to a specific iteration so.
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on the subject of Frank, Frank & Julie, and Franklydear
I used to think that Frank will probably be one of the more skeptical puppets, and prone to being one of the first to see that not all is as it seems. And I think the majority of us think/thought this!
But thanks to Riv i have entirely changed my tune. I think Frank will actively be avoiding the truth & clinging to the illusion. Here’s why!
Frank is portrayed as the most “rigid” neighbor - hell, it’s even part of his design! He likes routine, rules, for things to be ‘just so’ in his eyes. He doesn’t seem to like it when things stray from how they’re supposed to be. Everything has a time and a place.
(and this might be mildly insane but blame Riv not me bc they said it, but in Just So Frank says “i like it best when red goes in front of the rest”, and if red is Wally… dot dot dot…)
Then there’s how Frank will very likely be trying extremely hard to be something he’s not. And this is part of his design, too - he’s the only one in the cast without a natural blush. Yes, we’ve seen art where he can blush, but that’s in specific situations. In the bio images Frank is the only one without that little extra bit of color to his cheeks - he has two huge red splotches on him instead. Fake blush. Big and bright and impossible to ignore.
And I’m gonna be diving a bit into Franklydear & Frank’s relationship with Julie because it’s important to this.
I have also changed my tune on Franklydear - slightly. Welcome Home seems to be an example of nonlinear storytelling, as we’ve been getting bits and pieces from all over the place. The Live Interview from the early days, WHRP & Wally’s secret vinyl audios from “now”, the bug audios from an indeterminate time… so while I do think Franklydear is “already happening” within the main meat of the “past”, we will likely also get a chance to see before and after. And I do think there will be an after.
But I’m getting ahead of myself! Why do I think we’re going to see an established Franklydear? I’m going to be honest. A kofi post that I accidentally saw when a friend was sharing their screen with me and didn’t notice until it was too late </3 I should have looked away! But I didn’t, and that’s on me! I won’t say what I saw (it would be a theory anyways, nothing explicit or concrete in the evidence!) but it immediately convinced me that Frank & Eddie are in a secret relationship. I want to say more very badly, but if i’m proven right in tonight’s stream then I will be sharing Why I’m right.
More reasoning that is obvious with this context - the whole “Mr. Dear / Frank- i mean Mr. Frankly!” thing might be part of this fabricated distance. I would completely believe you if you told me that Frank had them both refer to each other professionally to keep up the facade that they’re nothing but neighbors, nothing going on here nosiree. They definitely don’t meet in the woods to be romantic! That added with how unusually playful Frank is with Eddie in 8-14 is interesting… though I can also believe that those audios are from “before” their relationship, given that Frank seems to be dropping a hint with the whole “ You don’t need to be that familiar with them in order to get to know them better!” line. I don’t know - there are a bunch of contradictions that could be them acting, could be differences in the timeline, who’s to say yet!
Anyway, so Franklydear is likely in a secret relationship, but I think Frank is going to get scared, call it off, and try to force a relationship with Julie. As in lying to her and everyone that he has feelings for her, and fulfilling their “destiny” in becoming a couple. I think Frank is where a lot of the internalized homophobia is going to come in.
In most of the Franklydear art we’ve seen from Clown, Frank seems to be very nervous and flustered around Eddie while Eddie seems to be more calm and forward. Frank has already proven to have a bit of a nervous disposition - he’s certainly high strung. That combined with his rigidity, the airs he puts on, and just… everything about him really, I don’t think he’ll be able to handle the pressure.
(side note: the way that Clown said that he wishes they hadn’t let everyone know about Franklydear, it’s ok because it’s “not a major spoiler” has been fucking me up a little. Wym it’s not a Major spoiler? It’s so funny… we’ve all been like “Franklydear will be Thee relationship and a big thing-” and then it’s Not. lmao)
Then there’s the song Clown associates with Franklydear, “Esperar pra ver”. @/Theneighborhoodwatch gave a translation/interpretation of the lyrics - cannot for the life of me find the og ask/post to link, but (if I’m remembering correctly) it was essentially said that the song is about love that doesn’t last / lost love. My friend Akemi (@/akemima <3) provided an alternate interpretation - to quote:
“...to me, it speaks about how they’re both Unable to speak up about their love? and the “wait and see” part is most likely them waiting for the other to make a first step or like. something Hopeful yknow?”
As both a tragedy enjoyer and a happy-end enjoyer, I wouldn’t mind either interpretation being accurate, personally! So Akemi has given us a sprinkle of hope for Franklydear! I think that both interpretations have merit, and hey, they can coexist. We might have them together, then Frank getting scared and calling it off, and then a “third arc” of them wanting to be back together but unable to (yet). Who’s to say!
ON TO THE JULIE PORTION.
For a while I thought that Julie might be the one to pursue a relationship with Frank - both because of the subconscious influence of her “Role” & that she’s bi while Frank is gay. On surface level she would be the most likely of the two to get the wrong/mixed signals and Go For It.
However. Nothing about this project is surface level.
I’ve already mentioned that I think Frank is going to try very hard to be something he isn’t. And this is backed by how his relationship with Julie is portrayed (another thank you to Riv for pointing a lot of this out & smacking some sense into me <3)
Frank is all about rules and matching. Julie is all about improv and independence. Riv pointed out that in “Just So” the audio distorts when Frank is changing bowties and Julie asks if it “really matters”. They also pointed out that, apparently in the Halloween outfit references, Frank’s notes indicate that he’s matching with Julie - but Julie doesn’t have any reciprocating notes. It implies that she was doing her own thing and Frank adjusted himself accordingly. Julie goes along with Frank sometimes, but it seems that it’s usually Frank scrambling to go along with Julie. She’s been described as independent and stubborn. Frank is a bit more of a conforming pushover (no offense Frankie, love ya to bits <3).
Frank is the straightman to Julie’s… I can’t reference the bios anymore but you know! He might be her straightman in more ways than just “he takes things seriously.”
And really. Frank likes routine, he likes things to be consistent. He’s been with Julie as her best friend / “partner” for so long that I’m not sure if he can easily break away from that - I think a change as big as getting romantically involved with Eddie would terrify him. It might be thrilling for a moment, but then the fear will set in.
I thought Julie would be the one clinging to Frank, but it’s the other way around isn’t it?
Frank gets scared & then leads Julie on because he’s trying to act “normal”, the way that’s expected of him. And it fits. One of WH’s themes is the fear of being shunned for / perceived as different by others. Once they know what you are, will they treat you the same?
And I don’t think Julie would be entirely opposed, either. I wouldn’t blame her for developing a crush on Frank. I mean, it might turn out that she’s “just going along with it” because she feels the same pressure and fear, but hm… I’m not convinced of that given what we know about her character. But if Julie has a little crush on Frank, I wouldn’t be surprised if when he forces himself to like her & initiates a relationship, she either realizes that it really was just a crush, or she’ll pick up on how Frank doesn’t actually have feelings & act accordingly. This option has more merit in my eyes. I think it would also reflect on the “love” theme of her house - I’ve speculated since pretty much day one that she’ll have an arc around realizing that she doesn’t need a relationship or even really want one at present, going against what Playfellow likely wanted from her.
(and then I start thinking about the whole livestream trivia thing of Julie maybe falling down a hole or into some abyss… and the concept art of her shoes where she’s standing at the edge of a dark abyss… does she fall, does she jump, or is she pushed? If she winds up being pushed, who does it? Barnaby (milk theory babey!) or perhaps she’ll get in a fight with Frank and in the heat of the moment he accidentally causes her to fall, either by pushing or making her lose awareness of her surroundings (backing off of the edge?). I’m aware that this paragraph is a stretch all around! Don’t take it too seriously! A pinch of salt, people!)
There’s not much else to be said so, in conclusion:
Welcome Home’s storytelling is likely on a nonlinear timeline, Franklydear is established but won’t last, and Frank/Julie is probably going to become a temporary thing
#and yeah! not much else to say! quiet tags bc i was too thorough In Post!#homebogging#wh speculation#welcome home speculation
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Rafal as an Ever Student AU
I think I came up with a decent portion of this right before I read Rise, in the shower, and the rest of it manifested later on, after reading Rise.
Note: This concept is set as if he were in Sophie and Agatha's year.
He gets a different reception than Agatha despite being a bit like her but less coarse and more refined. He’s seen as broody and cool, not “moody,” “grumpy,” “sour,” and “unpleasant.” It is a total double standard for the Everboys that he benefits from.
Yes, he retains his personality from TLEA and Rise, just minus the Evilness. Aloof, grouchy, and quiet.
He’s not entirely an outcast even if he is unconventional, for a prince. The other Everboys hate him because he’s seen as competition. They poke fun at him and call him “as pale as a Crog’s underbelly.”
Some Evergirls are attracted to him. He sets their hearts aflutter, but most think he is the antithesis of Good in its typical definitions and forms. He is cold and pale, and leaner-built than most. He runs cold, unlike the warm-blooded, sweaty Everboys. (And, he and Sophie love each other. Although, being atypical examples of an Ever and Never as they are, they are quite a contrast and quite the power couple. Even though they are an Ever-Never couple, they have lots of commonalities. Maybe, they’d resemble Tophie, but their dynamic would be leagues better.)
Ironically, he performs badly at things that require true Goodness. The other Everboys mock him for being “impure” like the Nevers mocked Sophie.
Basically, Rafal is no good at doing performative Good. In the way that Sophie initially is bad at performative Evil, in practice.
However, he aces the Good theory lessons somehow. He probably got a 90% on Dovey's Good Deeds test. He just knows the Rules and how everything works really well. He's clever. That's obvious enough. (And, he was a prodigy in primary school.)
The two, Sophie and Rafal, are paradoxes. They are (oddly enough) desirable social-rejects.
One of their first interactions, after he performed badly in a class involving concrete action that Sophie witnessed:
Sophie: I thought you were Good.
Rafal: I am. In theory.
His ability to understand Good theory traces back to his Talent: how he already has a full understanding of how the Woods operate, and can read souls and intentions, meaning he can immediately sense who’s an Ever and who’s a Never, is a walking lie-detector, and senses a betrayal days before it happens. His weakness is that emotional attachment to people dulls his senses in regards to them specifically.
He’s also slightly prescient. He is not a Seer though. He can simply predict outcomes and movements with surprising accuracy. Plus, maybe, he's just observant and knows too much, more than he should, of the inner workings of the Schools’ system.
He probably cheats the system with his performance, anomalous with the actual impure inclinations of his soul. Like, he knows the correct, Good answers to the test. He just wouldn't be compelled to do all of it in reality. He doesn't care enough to. He doesn’t care enough for others. He doesn't care enough for what others think, at all, so that's part of the problem.
In reality, he’s on the less pure section of the Good continuum; he’s just incredibly competent at what he does to be tracked as a Leader. So, his morality is already greyish. But, he has no inclination to do Evil without provocation. He’s just capable of thinking exactly like a villain would, which both impresses and terrifies all the Evers. It looks suspicious, and Tedros is certain he’s secretly a Never.
This connects back to his Talent. Rafal can anticipate what Nevers will do. He’s always several steps ahead as a strategic, long-range planner.
Rafal’s Wish Fish vision is of Sophie. (He had seen her at the Welcoming, and cynically chalked her up to delusional Evil in love, like his Never brother once was. He did experience aesthetic attraction though.) He’s startled by the vision, and the Everboys jeer at him for being drawn to a Never.
Meanwhile, Agatha tries to tell Sophie to try and get him to kiss her, and tells her to wait for him to make the first move. Sophie doesn’t listen and approaches him. She had decided to lure him instead.
But she is not the only one with ulterior motives. At first, Rafal had selfish motives in pursuing Sophie. He, ever the control freak, decides to try and reform her. It would surely be an unforgettable accomplishment, and win him fame and influence as the first Ever to convert a Never to Good. Then, he’d take her as his queen.
And, yes, he admits, he does have feelings for her, but he is unable to process or decipher those feelings at the moment, and he stuffs them down, so he can conduct his morally-questionable experiment without interference.
He finds Sophie amusing and intriguing. Sometimes, he smiles knowingly at the lengths she goes to prove she's truly Good. Because, he once tried to love too and failed. His heart and soul failed him. And, it pains him to think about the Evil brother he had to kill in the purest self-defense a year ago. (Yeah, he's traumatized in this AU too.)
Eventually, he’s a prince lured onto Evil's side. She won their game, like a siren. And, both of them were already morally grey.
If the Storian were to write a fairy tale about them, the first triumph of both sides, it would be very radical for lack of a better word. Very good. Ahem. [Clears throat awkwardly.]
#school for good and evil#rise of the school for good and evil#agatha of woods beyond#sophie of woods beyond#rafal#rafal mistral#sge#sfgae#rhian#rhian mistral#the school for good and evil#tsfgae#rotsge#rotsfgae#my post#my aus#ever!rafal#sophie x rafal#rafal x sophie#raphie#rophie#sofal#safal
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I have never played persona so I wasn't sure if I would understand your failteacher comics but I just looked up the characters for a little bit of context and I'm 👀👀👀👀 at it now xD
Without being too spoiler-y, why would you say they'd have a messy relationship? (Besides the fact of Becky taking advantage of her client's loneliness)
HAHAHA yea i think the like dramatic irony enjoyment of knowing (even just roughly) what's going on with becky is very strong so good on you there (obviously toriumi has no idea what's going on with her and becky is doing her best to Handle It, but it contextualizes her behavior for Us...<3)
it's yummy isnt it... its yummy
anyway, the rest of this very long post is just me analyzing a fictional situation i myself engineered, so if that sounds boring please dont click the Read More LMFAO <- cursed to put a lot of thought into Character Stuff
basically they have great potential for mess, which they're Currently keeping a lid on, but would exponentially increase with time. teehee.
as for what WILL happen, im not spoiling anything concrete of course… (winks at the Knowers who already know my Vision….
well, this AU isn't ever going to devolve into a "super destructive toxic nightmare" mess or anything, just to get our working definitions of 'mess' sorted out at the top of the post. not this time. atm (as of comic #3) it's shaping up more like a "this seems . inadvisable and absolutely Don't Try This At Home, but i guess it won't…kill you" mess (LMAO)
to assess their situation at present… there is one half who wants money (and can't ever make enough of it to satisfy her extortionists), and one half who wants intimacy (and is scared and unable to get it on her own). on its exterior face, it's simply a lonely person hiring a professional to keep them company, which is a fairly common thing n not rly super noteworthy; the parentheticals are what make things a bit uh thorny for these characters
the "problem" here is not the transaction itself; they're both willing to supply their half of the trade just fine, and neither party is doing anything wrong by engaging in it. but for these two specifically, there is also a mutual willingness to bend the rules of their transaction—because they're both cornered in some way, and desperate for what the other one is offering to trade
to elaborate on "rules", i mean, first and foremost, that their relationship is not "real"—these people Don't know each other personally and intimately, and they're Not Supposed To. their relationship should never be "real"; they're not friends! (or lovers, for that matter!) they're in a conditional exchange of money for services. right now, these characters are participating in and maintaining a kayfabe; they should operate under a tacit understanding that A) this is not real, B) they both fully know it's not real, and C) following the script is the comfortable way to get what they both want without causing undue risk to either party. creating and then maintaining a fake "reality" together is regulated by a contract between them, and it ends when their booked time ends (and not a minute over time!)
but to return to the earlier point, they're also both cornered and desperate, which drives them both to go beyond what might be considered appropriate. i think this is compelling; it's probably unnecessary of me to add this paragraph but i want to underline (just in case) that i don't think either of them is like "at fault" or w/e (there is no "villain" between them). they're showing Signs Of Mess that could snowball into something much more messy, but it's not something they're doing to hurt each other; they're making decisions based on skewed risk/reward estimations that might not be healthy, and could realistically have harmful consequences for both parties, but they're not, like, Evil (lol). two women getting wrapped up in each other's personal graveyard spirals…it's yuri, isn't it?
with that squared away, and putting it plainly;
toriumi should not be asking her to "break character" when the character itself is what she's paying for; this nudging of their little kayfabe, if indulged, could easily snowball and erode the professional boundaries between them (what she calls "distance" in #3). she is paying 'becky' to 'be here' (paying kawakami to conjure 'becky' into existence by pretending to be her), but she isn't really being mindful of the type of role that this necessarily demands of her in turn. the built-in emotional walls between them are there to protect both of them, but she doesn't fully respect them (despite instinctively sensing their protection in how "safe" becky feels to her). in the end, toriumi is bad at "staying in character" herself, and she can't help but try to root out the actual person behind the mask—despite the fact that no one wants this erosion to happen! possible dire consequences for her wallet aside, losing sight of the line between "transaction" and "investment" (pardon the pun) is a one-way ticket to a very messy place where one or both of them is likely to get hurt...
on the other end, and not helping the situation at all, kawakami identified toriumi as a soft target pretty much immediately, and is actively trying to elicit sympathy and endear herself to her (she is being quite choosy about what vulnerabilities she "lets slip" in #2) in order to make her keep booking and paying. of course some amount of "salesmanship" is part of the job—#grindset always be plugging smash that like button comment n subscribe—but the major difference here is that she's overtly attempting to foster in her client the exact kind of dependency/personal attachment she should be discouraging (for, frankly, both of their safety). like not only is she out fishing to get toriumi hook line and sinker on purpose, but it's also alarmingly reckless behavior on kawakami's part; there's a lack of regard for her own wellbeing involved here on top of it all. again, a messy place where someone, maybe everyone, gets hurt in the end
crucially though, as comic #3 finishes setting up, they're both willing to endure these shenanigans from the other half. at this stage, toriumi does realize that kawakami has her unilaterally wrapped around her finger, and nonetheless agrees that she'll call her again; while kawakami knows very well how this kayfabe is supposed to work, but is indulgent (even rewarding) towards toriumi for her clumsiness. that mutual willingness to keep playing this game would—if the AU continued on these tracks uninterrupted—probably compound until the situation they've made becomes super confusing and unclear for them emotionally...
of course "taking advantage" is sort of a loaded phrase colloquially… but i would say in many ways they are "taking advantage" of each other, yea. the "we both benefit, so it's okay" logic was already vaguely raised as justification in #3; if elaborated a bit with the above in mind, their situation is one where "even if they're both overstepping what is considered appropriate for their arrangement, they've also both decided the benefits outweigh the costs by a wide enough margin to make it worthwhile"
it's got the marks of a sort of symbiotic relationship... their individual motivations for being involved w each other are totally unrelated (cue the "hold on, does. kawakami even like women???" question), but they both feel they benefit enough towards their priority goals to be OK with the other one taking something "less valuable" from them (toriumi even calls out the “sales pitch” becky is doing in #2, but ultimately decides that’s fine because she’s willing to buy). i think each and every moving part here has great capacity to go "too far" and ruin things (perhaps even causing Severe damage in the collapse), but if the situation were to continue in this same rhythm, without that kind of dramatic change, i would say "they're both evaluating the scenario with their own personal goals in mind, and are extracting what they want from one another relatively(?) peacefully(??)". like it might ultimately be a selfish game but they're adults they'll figure it out probably idk its none of my business what they choose to get up to. wouldn't get into that type of shit myself though LOL
women are playing kind of dangerous games with each other but i forgive them because it's interesting to rotate in my mind...<3
another thorn to consider for their future bonding endeavors from here on ofc is that without being "cornered" the way they are, they would not be running this type of "risk math" in the first place. it's hard for either of them to fully back away at this point because they're already cornered in their personal lives; toriumi is incredibly isolated and lonely with a pretty insecure lifestyle even when she's NOT actively sawing through the branch she's sitting on, and kawakami famously MORE THAN ANYTHING ELSE, NEEDS A LOT OF MONEY RIGHT NOW because she's being extorted by an unrelated third party. looking ahead it does kind of start to look like an ouroboros of "taking advantage of each other" bc it's hard for both of them to leave their individual situations; it's kind of like, if they weren't here with each other they'd be ... well, they'd be here—just with someone else...
they didn't put each other in this jam—it was unrelated personal circumstances and sheer coincidence that pushed them together—but now that they've committed to each other, it's hard to reverse back out, if that makes sense. i think that kind of thing is interesting too, because it makes me want to see them recognize this, connect, and help each other pull out of their Greater individual personal messes. you know? we can make it if we try... just the two of us... 😔
(unfortunately step 1 of that is ofc to make a genuine personal bond that isn't wrapped up in all this for-pay roleplay stuff. drat!)
tl;dr they're both simmering under high pressure and don't try this at home, but they do already have a sort of tacit agreement forming that this level of messy play is OK between them—as long as the rewards continue to outweigh the risks. at the end of the day, it's a delicate balance ultimately hinging on a money-for-services transaction, so if either of them stopped feeling like paying their half was worth it, it would rapidly come apart. i guess it's kinda like the ways you can tell if animals are genuinely beefing or just playing rough—are they willingly coming back? 💀 ...
no lmao where's that post thats like "this would be terrible if it was anyone else, but considering the people involved this is actually the best option" HRBHJDJG that's kind of how it feels. like if they're gonna be stuck with Somebody (and they would be), its probably good luck that they got Each Other. at least the narrative can sustain the balance of this one and maybe even solve it down the line. heart
to round this post off i would say if i had to nominate one of them, kawakami is probably the most "in control" atm—since she figured out very quickly that she was dealing with an easy mark and moved in to make her a regular customer (quite successfully i might add per the end of #3 lmaoo). i think that's been kinda fun, since in her SLink she's immediately on the back foot due to being unmasked by the inciting incident. we know she will lie and attempt to play to the listener's sympathy, so unleashing her with her Mask Still On has been fun 😭 for her part, toriumi is not only taken with the funny maid (& emotionally invested in her IRL situation to boot), but also very clumsily trying to obtain something she's scared to have, which makes her very impulsive/erratic in her rulebreaking compared to kawakami's much more intentional plays...
play of the game 🧹 (<- there's no maid emoji idk its housekeeping)
of course, my future plans will immediately jostle this entire dynamic into something else and make this whole post obsolete, but i don't wanna lay that out ahead of time. smiles.
anyway, otome dissection on the playlist or whatever
#file under: posts that are only interesting to a NICHE AUDIENCE. but here r my thoughts on the thing that i made up.#if you're curious about the Failteacher Meta.#tl;dr never involve anyone else in whatever it is you two have going on but i hope you ... enjoy all that
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Re: my tags on the plurality post I just reblogged. I realize this may not be well known information so. Here is the You're Wrong About ep about "multiple personality disorder"
There is a very good transcript available on that page if you are not able to listen to the podcast.
The tl;dr is that the entire phenomenon of "MPD" as we conceptualize it popularly is extraordinarily closely linked to both the phenomena of "repressed childhood abuse memories" and, necessarily, the satanic panic. There is this idea of like, certain types of abuse which somehow cause the "self" to "shatter" in some objective way that can itself be used as concrete evidence OF that abuse... and that's pretty much from 1 book in the 70s that became a huge cultural phenomenon. There's a citation in the podcast transcript here for a book which picks that apart called Sybil Exposed by Debbie Nathan where you can learn more about that specific case. It's also worth mentioning that the "MPD as a result of childhood abuse/repressed memories of childhood abuse" thing actually became a significant issue in legal matters where psychologists were coercing people into inventing repressed abuse memories in order to provide "evidence" to incarcerate people. It was a whole thing.
Here is an excerpt from the transcript that I like:
Sarah: Yeah. And immediately, it becomes just a cultural phenomenon. The author gets bushels of letters, almost all of them from American women and girls. And a lot of them write about feeling like they don't have multiple personality disorder, but they feel like they have all these different selves and different people they are at different times. And it's like, yeah, because being a woman in 1973 means that you in a very obvious way, sociologically are being torn between all of these positions in society. It's like, you want to be a good daughter, but you want to have sex and you want to maybe have a job or stay home and iron a little, I don't know.
Mike: And probably a lot of unaddressed traumas too. I mean, probably a lot of the people had seen terrible things and we're still dealing with the trauma of it. And this gave them somewhat of a voice to their trauma or a lens through which to view their trauma that, you know, something happened to you that day and I'm still dealing with it because it's not like in 1973, society was great at being like, let's listen to people who say that they have trauma.
So like, none of this is to say that DID "isn't real" or that any way of framing having a lot of conflicting parts of oneself or different internal selves or whatever is bad or not useful. It is self evidently very useful for many people.
However. Our cultural understanding of what it means to have "other personalities" specifically AS A RESULT OF TRAUMA, as like, this objective THING that takes place inside your brain when something is DONE to you... is like a VERY culturally specific concept.
And obviously DID/plural/system stuff is often quite distinct from "MPD" style framing of multiple selves. Specifically the psychologist obsession with MPD often revolves around the "solving" or integration of selves, whereas plural/system people I know tend to decry that. Theres many other differences also. HOWEVER I think that learning about the history of how this has been framed and who invented a lot of the commonly accepted "facts" about it is like... really important. In terms of being able to control your own experience of conceptualizing your internal state. Regardless of what framing and models you find to be useful or true. Like... as people whose brains are constantly being pathologized and moralized we should ABSOLUTELY know about & be concerned about patterns of psychological abuse which may play into concepts we have of how our brains work. You know?
And because people are not good at taking posts like this in good faith: I know that people describing having multiple selves has been a thing in many places over many time periods, I think the experience of having more than one 'self' is real (I mean what is a self anyway, per my last reblog, right) and I have friends who are plural/systems/etc. I myself absolutely feel that I have many facets to my "self" which I do often find it helpful to conceptualize as discrete entities when I'm working through stuff. I don't personally find the framing of plurality or systemhood useful *for my self* but you know if you read this blog that means nothing in terms of whether I think it's useful or real for other people.
I just.
As a psych abuse survivor I really want us to be intentional and precise about these things and make sure we have all the information we need to make sure we aren't reinforcing some really narsty shit that's been used to hurt a lot of people.
And also to be like, whose word am I taking for this? What rules do I think this phenomenon follows and why do I think that has to be true? Like it is one thing to put words to an experience or a framework, right, and it is another to go "well the system blog I read says that one self has to be fronting at a given time so now I have to figure out which of my selves is doing that" or whatever like... with ALL frameworks for internal experiences ("diagnoses" lol) I think it's important to be like, am I taxonomizing this by describing how it is for me, or am I trying to sort my experiences into these boxes as described by someone else? And like, the latter is not good for people in general I don't think. And of course in any group or community you will get people who are prescriptive about who belongs in what categories and how your experience has to look in order to belong there or use whatever terminology. And that's not true. You can use whatever frameworks you want and if they don't fit later you can modify or discard them!
Wow I hope this is coherent. Anyway going to go ahead and make this puppy unrebloggable because lmao but I am happy to talk about it with people so please feel free to leave replies or asks as long as no one is yelling at me and accusing me of like, denying experiences. Because I am extremely not doing that. Ty
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So what is up with “Edward better watch his step”?
This post by @asneakyfox really forced me to actually put into words how I interpreted the implicit meaning of this line. Cause when you think about it, it can get real abstract, a one to one… well anything involving this line I think is too simplistic. Interpersonal interaction of any sort really boils down to a tangled web of intention, interpretation, past experiences, hidden fears, hidden desires, etc etc the list goes on.
Ed becoming the kraken is a result of trauma, and although as omniscient viewers we may see this an overreaction (I think we can at least mostly agree it’s maladaptive and he Should Not’ve Done It), Edward has literally every reason to believe the opposite. We know Ed is the protagonist of a romantic comedy. He does not. This man was reared in two very physically abusive environments, with peers that were all “in various stages of fucking each other over”. Any threat by someone capable was likely acknowledged and heeded in one way or another. As the original post pointed out, Izzy has already proven willing and capable with the whole navy stunt. It’s not that Ed is being overly paranoid, it’s that assuming safety is not the done thing.
And I think a lot of times people get caught up on the details of it, like what specifically Izzy would do, how he’d logically be able to execute it, etc. As if the actual logistics of it being mulled over and proven unrealistic (which again we can only know with audience clairvoyance) would immediately deem Ed irrational. I just don’t think that’s the point. The threat can be any number of thing, it doesn’t necessarily have to be physical violence enacted by Izzy, fuck, Ed doesn’t even need to have a clear idea of what it means. He’s already playing with uncharted territory, trying for the first time to concretely initiate a way of life he’s never known before. And while it makes him happy, it does naturally erode the only defenses he’s learned. Ed’s strange look up towards the deck while the crew shouts for another song? That’s fear of the unknown. If his own crew thinks of him as a silly novelty now… then how will the rest of the world see him? What does Ed think will happen to him in a vulnerable state without the bloodthirsty legend he’s carefully armed himself with piece by piece for decades?
I think we already know.
Izzy’s threat was probably not consciously interpreted as intent to hurt, definitely not to kill. But if Izzy’s idea of “loyalty” to Ed was getting the British to rip his closest loved one from him one way or another… yah man not a good look. If I was Ed I wouldn’t know what the fuck was about to happen, and I wouldn’t be in any state to fuck around and find out. In terms of what Izzy actually meant, I think he truly believes Ed needing to “watch his step” is a natural consequence of what’s taking place. We consistently see him in that toxic and self-centered mindset of “I need to hurt you to save you from a worse fate. I don’t want to, but you leave me no choice.” In an uncertain state where both men are trained in an environment of caution, I honestly don’t think either of them know what Izzy really intends, or what he’s trying to warn. Izzy just believes danger is either inevitable or necessary, and Ed has no reason to doubt him.
#people are always like ‘’it’s ridiculous that Ed is afraid of Izzy! he wanted him there!’’#and I’m like ‘’babes no he’s scared of a future he can’t predict’’#even though he craves it so bad#Izzy’s just part of that uncertainty#especially since he’s being the literal opposite of supportive#like my fuck he told Ed he should’ve died instead#look at this point I think Izzy and Ed are just designed to be eackother’s personal hells#they need to be on opposite sides of the planet I’m sorry it’s true#ofmd#edward teach#our flag means death#Blackbeard#kraken Ed#1x10#meta#analysis#passive aggression#1x05#biceratops
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Pallimnarchus and Paludirex: A History of the Swamp Kings
This is only part one of a two part series, ecology and anatomy will be discussed in part 2 because theres just too much history to cover.
Paludirex is a fascinating genus with a complex history. You see, while it was only named 3 years ago, it actually serves as a direct successor to the first fossil croc to have been described from Australia, all the way back in 1886.
Back then, a certain Charles Walter De Vis discovered a multitude of croc fossils in Queensland, specifically the Darling Downs region. Now with all due respect, while De Vis was definitely an important researcher...some of his work doesn't really hold up. In the case of these specific fossil remains, we now know that the fossils belonged to multiple specimens and at least THREE different species. De Vis also straight up admitted that he was not very familiar with Cenozoic crocodiles, which is why he didn't name it....well, sorta. De Vis did in fact not describe a new genus that much is true, however, he did give the material the name Pallimnarchus pollens. De Vis explains that he did so out of convenience and to some degree its understandable. It's always easier to refer to an animal by name than the specimen number, like the Darling Downs Taxon we'll discuss in part 2. But by making it sound like a proper scientific name, De Vis kinda set things up to get messy later.
Charles Walter De Vis (left), multiple fossils originally attributed to Pallimnarchus including those now attributed to Quinkana in B (right)
Sure De Vis only meant for Pallimnarchus to be an unofficial name, but subsequent authors didn't exactly bother ammending that fact. Instead, more and more research was published referring material of Australian crocodiles to Pallimnarchus without further question. This largely went unchecked until 1982, when famed Australian paleontologist Ralph Molnar chimed in. Molnar recognized the issues with Pallimnarchus and, in an effort to clear things up, decided to do what should have been done long ago. He picked out the best fossil of De Vis' collection, a lower jaw, designated it as the lectotype and described it in full to establish how it differed from other crocs of the region. Sadly, Molnar was a couple of years too early. In 1982, there were only four crocs to compare it to. The Saltwater Crocodile, the Freshwater Crocodile, the New Guinea Crocodile and Quinkana. What Molnar couldn't have known is that only 8 years later, the fossil record of Australian crocs would change forever with a sudden boom of research describing a plethora of new forms, the Mekosuchinae. So while Molnar's comparisson was adequate for the time, it soon turned out to just not be enough.
Ralph Molnar (left), the lectotype of Pallimnarchus with the only still known material highlighted (right)
Aside from scientists naming a metric shit ton of other crocodiles from the continent, three other important things happened during the 80s and 90s. Firstly, we finally found more good Pallimnarchus fossils. Remember, the De Vis fossils were largely a collection of random, unrelated fossils, the lectotype a partial lower jaw and the only good cranial fossil was the Lansdowne Snout, which people constantly argued over whether or not it was Pallimnarchus or simply a salty. But now we got two pretty great fossils. There is the Mirani Shire Skull, certainly the lesser of the two because someone encased the entire top half in concrete (thanks for that). And then there's the Dalby Specimen, better known as Geoff Vincent's Skull, an incredibly informative collection of skull fragments of a single individual and probably one of the best fossil of this animal.
The second major thing to happen is that in 1997, Molnar teamed up with Paul Willis, who basically had a hand in nearly every described mekosuchine, and once again reevaluated Pallimnarchus. The main takeaway of their work was that they now recognized a second species which they dubbed Pallimnarchus gracilis.
And then there's the third thing. The lectotype was lost and only a small fragment was ever found again. Things were not looking good.
A photograph of Paul Willis (left) and multiple older images of Geoff Vincent's skull (right)
More and more mekosuchines were described in the 2000s, yet things went mostly quiet around Pallimnarchus. The redescription insufficient, the lectotype lost, it had essentially landed in taxonomic limbo with no clue whether or not the name itself was actually valid.
Enter Jorgo Ristevski. Somewhat of a rising star in Australian fossil croc research, Ristevski and several other authors (including Molnar) published a paper meant to finally deal with the issue of Pallimnarchus. Their conclusion, well, sadly Pallimnarchus is a nomen dubium. It's not really a shock given that none of the previous papers ever established any actually unique traits and no such traits could be found in what little remains of the lectotype, but it was an important step none the less. So what now, this historically important genus with countless of referred specimens is no more. Well, thank fuck we got Geoff Vincent's skull.
Yes, with how well preserve that fossil is, Ristevski and colleagues managed to use it to establish a new genus that was meant to serve as a successor to Pallimnarchus, effectively meant to house the material previously assigned to the dubious genus. To honour the legacy of Pallimnarchus, they named this new genus Paludirex, both names translating to "swamp king". Of course with so much material, it was hard to evaluate everything. But there's some key finds. In addition to the Geoff Vincent's skull, both an isolated snout fragment and the Mirani Shire skull could be attributed to Paludirex vincenti, the new type species. Ristevski also confirmed the validity of Pallimnarchus gracilis (now Paludirex gracilis), tho restricting it to two fossils found in the Riversleigh WHA. Furthermore, earlier this year Ristevski was also able to confirm that the Lansdowne Snout belonged to Paludirex as well.
Jorgo Ristevski with the skull of Baru (left), skeletal reconstruction of the skull of Paludirex vincenti (right)
That does still leave a lot of material of course. Since Pallimnarchus was defined based on its lower jaw, and Paludirex has no lower jaw material to speak of, we can't actually confirm if any of the former Pallimnarchus mandibles are referrable to Paludirex. This lack of overlap also creates the fascinating hypothetical that, should we rediscover the lectotype and lower jaw material associated with Paludirex material, then it may be possible that the two become synonyms once more....or that we had two animals on our hands all along. But first we would need to find more material and that may still take a while.
#pallimnarchus#paludirex#palaeoblr#prehistory#cenozoic#mekosuchinae#croc#crocodile#paleontology#long post
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Can we talk a bit about how Cucurucho doesn't make any sense? When the eggs disappeared Forever asked where are they and he answered "Classified". Forever tries to explode everything and comes back with drugs and the knowledge that "they ran away, there's something worse than the codes and the federation". Forever is out of the drugs and Cucurucho tries to give him again, saying it's good for his health. He says no and the bear doesn't try to force him to take them again. A few days later: "How is your health? How are you feeling? No, it's not about the drugs. We need you to investigate the black concrete in the Nether. We don't know where it's coming from but you might find a clue there and about your son too. I'm not playing with you. Someone else is. Besides, you wouldn't want to work with 'them', would you?" For someone so clueless abou the black concrete he is very specific with that "them". And why wouldn't he want to work with 'them'?
One trip to the nether, an infection, a meeting with a black bear, and a demonic book later, Forever is back with no clue on what's going on or where his son is. He wants to talk to Cucurucho but doesn't get the chance before being thrown in Purgatory. Even then he appears in a video saying "Oh you should go to see your kid" and showing the kids dirty and hurt. Even Forever said "you make it hard to like you, Cucurucho." At the same time Cucurucho appears to have no idea of what's going on and wants his help asap. He also talks about stopping protocol AB like he knew about it all along even though CodeFlippa (from the resistance) and the three dudes activated it and Walter Bob (also from the resistance but working for the fed too) said it shouldn't have been activated.
Cucurucho needs to work on his communication skills. He asks for help but explains nothing, says not to trust "them" but not why and now Forever will be a Judas and make things worse for the Federation.
He either knows way more than he shows at his stream but doesn't let the other workers (including Forever) know (very possible) or he's really blindsided now and will be screwed because of it.
Cucurucho is very odd, for lack of a better word that's for sure. And I do believe that he knows more than he lets on but at the same time not enough.
Like the nether thing was so so weird the day it happened, I remember that day and not even Forever himself believe that was the Cucurucho that he knew and was used to, but somehow it was? Even though it spoke so weirdly and was probably the most desperate we have ever seen a Cucurucho be.
And personally that occasion with the pills I see more as a classic manipulation thing, trying to make Forever believe that he should take the pills than trying to actually get him back on them. Might be wrong about that, but it's the impression I have mostly.
But yeah, mainly I think that Cucurucho knows things but not that many things, while he knows about project AB maybe not enough? I don't know, it's odd definitely but it's so hard to fit the pieces on things about the feds.
But I hope Forever makes things so much worse for the bear, I hope the bears gets chased with a chainsaw again <3
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If you are specifically only interested in bimbofication as transformation AND bimbos as a cultural figure, I feel like that’s a difficult perspective to reconcile. Because there are hardly any bimbofication-transformations in mass media. Popular bimbo (or bimbo-ish) figures are almost always just “like that,” the bimboism is essential to their personality and always has been. Hot girl makeover narratives are a popular genre but they usually go to pains to make it clear that the subject’s personality/sense of self is mostly unchanged.
Anyways I think your writing is really interesting and articulate and hope you keep going. Do you have a sense of your target audience? I feel like your work probably doesn’t appeal to most people in the fetish because it’s nuanced and critical, which is a good thing, but hard if you want more people to read/engage with your stuff. Good luck!
I want the book to be open to and palatable to outsiders as a source of information, but I don't have specific or concrete audience besides that. I would like my approach to the subject matter to be somewhere between Dworkin and Scott McCloud.
And... yes, you do not see bimbofication in the mainstream. The closest I've seen any film come to it is Nightmare Sisters from 1988 and Repligator from 1998, and calling either of those mainstream is being very generous. I think there's also a bit part in Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama. And the comic adaptation of Dragon's Lair has Daphne getting dumber while she's trapped in her bubble, there's no growth but she already has a sexy/curvaceous body.
Then there's those two episodes of Sabrina, the one where she gets stuck looking like a walking pinup, and one where her evil doppelganger curses her to become stupid and boy crazy. There's that infamous scene from Leprechaun 3 with Stretch. One sort of indirect one that sticks with me, and I think I've mentioned this before, is what happens to Lorraine in Back to the Future 2. When Marty goes back to the bad present that Biff fucked up and his mom now an alcoholic trophy wife in a glitzy dress and big fake implants, but I don't know if that stuck with anyone else.
Lastly, I've seen others cite the animated explanation sequence in The Stepford Wives (2004) and Foxy Loxy's transformation in Chicken Little (2005). I don't think I've posted anything from any of these movies, and I really probably should.
I'm also not sure if this is something I've actually posted or just thought about but it struck me quite recently that bimbofication is really just an inverse of the Galatea myth, as in Pygmalion, as in My Fair Lady, as in Born Yesterday, Pretty Woman. Where you have in these narratives low-class women and sometimes straight up actual bimbos being reformed and becoming proper ladies, bimbofication is the exact opposite. You don't see it because it is a narrative tragedy, nearly horror, nowhere near romantic, a proper lady becoming a common whore...
(Which reminds me, I forgot the best "mainstream" "bimbofication" sequence, Halle Berry in Movie 43, remind me to post this later)
Anyway, like I was saying, a nightmare. But when we consider it in the context of Pygmalion, ancient myth, the very idea of bimbofication becomes a lot less insane. Pyggie took to crafting Galatea because he saw women practicing prostitution and begin to detest "the faults beyond measure which nature has given to women". It only stands to reason that there have been at least some people throughout human history, way before any of us were around, before bimbos, before bimbofication, that felt the exact opposite -- people who detested not whores but the stuffy or virtuous woman. People who's ideal Galatea would be no pure and innocent but wanton and shameless. And when George Bernard Shaw adapted and modernized this story in 1913, I'm sure that idea wormed its way into the head of even more people, even though we may never know. Someone had to read or watch the story of Eliza Doolittle and Henry Higgins and dream of the opposite, respectable lady to stupid bitch.
(Which reminds me... I forgot The Twilight Zone Episode, Number 12 Looks Just Like You. I have a post drafted on my other blog referencing that you might see soon. Maybe. Maybe not.)
I guess that's all to say, you are absolutely correct that there is no real basis for bimbofication in popular media. The seeds have existed here and there for a long time but that doesn't mean any of it was a direct or intentional influence. I think I made a forum post asking bimbofication authors about it and their frame of reference seemed to be entirely underground science-fiction and other erotica writers.
And who's to say who inspired by the bimbofication BDSM people, or how far back that goes? Or the artists who draw transformation sequences? Who drew the first bimbo TF sequence? Did the idea just come to them? That's kind of the thing.
Respectable lady to stupid bitch slut, no matter how niche this fetish is, is NOT a novel concept by any means. For those of who are into bimbofication as a revenge fantasy, its pretty much basic misogyny, no different than Pygmalion's, just in a different direction.
#question and answer#understandingbimbos#bimbotxt#bimboism#bimboization#bimboification#bimb0fication#bimboz#bimbo theory#pygmalion#my fair lady#the stepford wives#galatea#bimb0#bimbification#bimbofied#bimbo tf#transformation#f2f transformation#bimbofication inspo
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you're one of the best nsfw writers writing lawlight at the moment what are your tips for being explicit without giving people the ick
Oh wow, thank you — this is really really sweet!! Let me see what I can think of that's like...concrete building blocks
First things first: if you don't know, research! It's always great to pull from experience when possible, but there have also been many nonfiction books and such written about like, basically Kink Rules™ that can be very helpful to pull from when you're trying to plot out how a scene would go or what you personally find really sexy. (Of course, there are plenty of these that are cringe and icky too because the ~kink community~ is vast and contains many people who are very annoying, so take what works and leave the rest.) I once read an entire book that was just about bootblacking/shoe stuff because I didn't know a lot about it and thought it sounded hot.
As a broader example, I write and prefer dom/sub stuff (as you well know!), so I like Dossie Easton & Janet Hardy's The New Topping Book and The New Bottoming Book, both of which can be kind of hokey but which have a lot of sexy things to say from the perspective of people who engage in d/s relationships and scenes irl aimed at people who may be new to one or both. (They're also both available digitally but they're pretty easy to secure hard copies of if you think you'll get any significant use out of them.) I would say I don't need to refer to these personally as a source of actual new knowledge at this stage of my life, but specific concepts or scenes that resonate and/or that I've never personally tried can bloom into fanfic stuff later.
I write things down immediately as they occur to me. If I'm fuckin standing in the elevator and I experience a vision of a character I'm writing like moaning a specific phrase or some shit I'll straight up jot it in my notes app so I don't forget and can build on it. I also often will write when I personally am already kind of warmed up because I find that's when the least inhibited and therefore hottest shit hits the page, to be cleaned up and edited into presentableness by my less-revved self in the future.
Stick to basic terms for most things 99.9% of the time. I find that "cock" and "cunt" etc., while sort of standard and definitely something you'll probably see a lot of if you ctrl+F your fic later, are basically the "said" of porn. Not everything needs to have an explicit description all the time. I will also slide into use of "dick" and "pussy" when I feel it's raunchy and hot to do so but I generally don't come up with any shit other than that. Never talk about anybody's "pearl" or "flower" or shit. I'm not saying you can't make comparisons to those things, but it can't be The Word you use to talk about someone's genitalia.
On the opposite spectrum, too much use of "moan" to describe sounds and sentences gets very repetitive very fast! People make a lot of different noises during sex and describing more of them than just moaning adds depth and sexiness. Much like "said," that's not to say it doesn't have its place and not every word should be "yelped" "whimpered" "sobbed" etc. (though I am partial to the latter), but it doesn't need to be every sound, either.
Don't be afraid to write shit you like even if you feel like you might be the only person on the planet who finds it really sexy. I'm writing strap sex for this next fic I'm working on and, while it's obviously a very broad category, I know it's not everyone's cup of tea and some people are actively averse to it in lesbian fic. That's fine, but I know what I like and what I like is to get my silicone dick wet, so that's what's going to happen. I guarantee other people will find it and enjoy stuff you wrote just for you even if they maybe originally didn't think it was for them.
That's everything that immediately comes to mind!! I welcome feedback/comments/reblogs etc. here because I have some HOTTTT writers following me who I think frankly put me to shame 🙇🏻♂️
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So You Want To Be A Librarian
Five and a Half Things You Should Know Going In
This is a post, first and foremost, about burnout. Being a public librarian presents a certain category of problems and attracts a certain type of people - namely, the problems of social aid professions and the compassionate people who go into them. The advice in this post comes from my own experiences as well as wisdom distilled from my parents’ combined 60 years of being in the sister passion profession of teaching.
Here goes:
1) Libraries are not your life. Not your patrons, not your programs, not your advocacy efforts. None of it. Repeat this to yourself, over and over, as many times as it takes. If you want to survive - or even just be effective - in this line of work, you cannot reduce your identity down to just ‘librarian’. All the advice on work-life balance and establishing boundaries applies here, but don’t forget to think about the ‘identity’ part specifically, too.
1a) It’s going to be really easy to forget 1) when you’re in the warm, righteous, determined rush of feeling needed.
That’s a heady feeling and it’s going to make you want to ignore your boundaries. Sometimes, you will; that can’t always be helped, and breaking your own boundaries isn’t something to beat yourself up over when it happens. It’s a neutral fact that we’re wired to love the feeling of being needed, or we wouldn’t have lasted this long as a social species. When you come down from it a bit, ask yourself what parts of that experience were rewarding to you. Was it the type of social interaction - teaching, caring, giving? Was it a feeling that you had power over your portion of the situation, power to enact what you thought was right? Where else could you get those things if you needed, so that your job doesn’t have to be the only place you experience those feelings?
2) Most people are not going to remember you after they walk out that library door, so don’t do your job to be remembered by them. You’re probably in this job because someone in libraries had a huge impact on you when you were younger, but you need to recognize when and where you’re making your interactions about you and your own self-image rather than your patrons or your role in the community. This can be especially difficult with kids, since kids can be very intense and make you feel like you’re the centre of their universe. When this happens, ask yourself what need you are fulfilling for them and what that actually, concretely requires of you.
3) Suffering is not transactional. We live in a culture that’s built primarily on Christian values, and the biggest Christian story of them all is the success of sacrifice. Jesus, however, was special - that’s kind of the whole point, as I understand the thing. Basically, remember that the amount of blood, sweat, and tears that you put into something does not in any way correlate to the amount of enjoyment or learning or purpose anyone else gets out of it.
4) Understand the system. Where does the money come from? Can you trace it back, not just to grants from the city, but to the kinds of business and property taxes that fund the city? North Americans are brought up with this background noise of ‘infinite growth’ that you have to consciously tone down if you want to be able to assess a situation realistically. I had a boss once who told me, “When you’re presenting to council, always remember that the fire department is fighting for the same pot of money you are.” There might be more than enough money in the world to fund what you want - but is that money in your town? If not, can you bring it into your town? Knowing what your limits are can help you expand them, yes, but it can also save you from throwing yourself after a mirage of glory that simply doesn’t exist.
5) Everything takes more time than you think, even changes away from horrifying practises or towards things that are objectively morally right. Libraries exist suspended in a web of the relationships between multiple bureaucratic organizations, budgets only happen once a year, and most people don’t spend their working days thinking about their community’s library. You’re going to have great ideas for change, they’re going to be realistic and possible and just within reach, and it’s going to feel grindingly slow. Don’t get mad; remember the fire department. Everyone working with you to achieve this change has their own equivalent of the fire department in their life. Make sure things are moving, but make sure you don’t blame people when they’re not moving faster. It’s unlikely that you’re being obstructed out of maliciousness and even on the rare occasions you are, you will get more help from others if you don’t visibly assume it anyway. Make sure you’re using your anger against injustice to motivate you, not other people.
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Okay then! Moving onto your ideas for a fix-it time travel style fic for TWDG, do you have any concrete ideas so far of what you'd want to do with it? Who'd be going back in time, how drastically things would change, plot points, that sort of thing? If you don't mind sharing of course, I'd understand if a lot of that would be spoilers should you decide to actually write it.
Would you believe I’ve spent the better part of last night thinking of this very fic idea? I couldn’t land on WHO the heck would I send back.
I’d send them back as the age they were during that time, so Clem going back to S1 from S4 would be 8-years-old all over again but with the mind and knowledge of 16/17-year-old Clem.
Clementine would be an obvious choice, right? As a character from the start to finish, she could easily make the most change. Depending on what point she travels back from in the series, she could very well change a lot of things. For starts, Clem from any season after S1 could:
Not talk to the stranger over the walkie.
Knowing her folks are dead, and probably want to avoid Savannah all together.
Be aware about the St. John’s, not trust them and campaign for them not to go. But then comes the fact that she’s a child and possibly the only person who would take her seriously would be Lee. So that could be something she might not be able to fully change.
If she doesn’t or can’t stop the event of EP2, then there could be a chance that she can intervene on Ben’s deal with the bandits. She would have to keep an eye on him specific pay attention to him whenever he leaves the inn or is on watch, which she’ll have to do w/o raising any attention.
If she can do that, and convince Ben to listen to her, even if she’s just a kid, they might be able to warn the group and get out of dodge before the bandit’s raid begins, so they could leave for the road a few days early.
If that happens, Lilly’s meltdown might not happen. If Larry died during EP2, then she’d still be depressed and in mourning of course, but not paranoid since there’s not a conspiracy going around the group about betrayal. Meaning Carley/Doug might not get headshot.
This also means Katjaa & Duck survive for now, and thus Kenny doesn’t have his complete character arc in S2 if his whole family is alive, since that loss played a huge part in his arc.
That also means that Lilly might stick around longer, and we may not get a Delta!Lilly.
They still take the train, as Clem can’t do anything about the train being in the way.
But then Clem realizes the train rolls right through Savannah, and there’s no avoid it anymore.
But Clem knew not to listen to the Stranger, so her sneaking away to meet him only to be kidnapped possibly won’t happen.
Meaning… We don’t lose Lee, which would’ve been Number 1 on Clem’s list of things to fix.
If that happens, the group has no reason to leave the house, meaning Vernon and the cancer group can’t get the boat.
Speaking of the boat… it’s WAY too small for their group.
Lee, Clem, Kenny, Katjaa, Duck, Chuck (since our group is big, I doubt they’d let him die the way he did), Lilly, Carley/Doug, Ben, Christa & Omid? That’s 11 people on this boat meant for at most like… 4 or 5.
Cue the talks of changing their plans. And much to Kenny’s chagrin, Katjaa agrees.
The group decide to put a pin in the boat plan and mull over their next move. This is where Clem chimes in and says they should head for the country, and get out of the city ASAP.
At this point, Lee would be way more trusting of Clem’s intuition and agree, so would Christa. Katjaa, Lilly, Doug/Carley, Ben would agree with the majority, and Omid would pick whatever he thought was best for Christa and their unborn baby.
They gather their bearings and plan their route out of Savannah over the night. The next day they discover the boat’s gone. So, Kenny really has no choice but to agree with their plan.
I feel like once the group is out of Savannah, and Clem has time for, well, downtime, she’ll want to think about how she’ll get back the other important people in her life like AJ, Javi and his family, and the Ericsons kids (especially if she romanced Louis or Violet). She wants to see them again, albeit not in the same circumstances as before.
On the other hand, is would I send back Lee? Another start to finish character (at least for S1), Sending Lee back from the end of EP5, Lee could make changes as well, his only hold up would be protecting Clementine even more since she really is 8-years-old:
He’d probably train her earlier, like between EP1 and EP2.
EP2 is the hardest to change, because it’s a group choice. It would probably go down similar to that deleted scene of them voting, where Lee would vote against going but be out voted by everyone else.
He doesn’t trust the St. John’s in the slightest, and when he goes back with Mark to check the perimeter, he tells him keep his guard up and watch the trees. Since Mark’s a bit more attentive, Mark gets grazed by the arrow instead of full impaled, and the scene plays out the same.
They make it back and Mark’s still a bit injured but not remotely as bad as before, so he’s able to attended dinner without having to go through Brenda’s, ahem, “check-up”.
So, who’s for dinner then?
Mr. Parker! Mmm, barbequed band teacher-
Let’s for back a bit, during the hunt with Lee, Mark & Kenny. They find Ben, Travis & Mr. Parker.
They don’t cut him out in time, but this time Lee doesn’t try to hack his leg off, remembering last time how he still bled out and died by time they made it back.
Lee instead tells Mark and Kenny to grab the boys and go. Before they can protest, the walkers are coming in, not many, but enough.
Travis makes a go at Mark’s rifle, but Mark shoots him in the leg. So now they have to carry him back.
So, Ben and Travis live! And Mr. Parker… for now.
Hypothetically, let’s say the dairy boys got to Mr. P before the walkers did.
So, he’s for dinner.
Dinner scene plays out the same, but this time Parker takes Mark’s place.
The Larry in the locker moment plays out differently. Since Mark is there, he’d help Lilly revive Larry.
Unfortunately, leaving Lee to argue with Kenny about not killing Larry. He’s trying to prevent as many unnecessary deaths as possible.
I believe Kenny and Lee would actually tussle over this, but Kenny would lose.
And by some miracle, Larry would win. As in he’d live.
Rewinding to where Lee was investigating the farmhouse, in the cabinet he found the morphine and wire in, he’d also find nitroglycerin pills. Lee kept them on the chance the moment in the locker happened.
Rest of the scene plays out the same until they make it out the locker.
Lee meets Carley/Doug, Ben & Travis outside the barn.
Since Mark’s arm is still a bit injured, Lilly shoots Andy.
Fight goes the same. Lee spares Andy and leaves him to his fate.
Interesting change, when it comes to the Stranger’s car, Lee purposely tries to distract the group from hearing the car.
Unfortunately, Mark sees it.
Lee is adamant about not taking from it, and doesn’t give Kenny the keys.
This almost prompts another Kenny v. Lee fight, until Larry steps in and argues they need it since the dairy was an absolute bust.
Lee uses Clementine’s argument that it’s more than likely someone’s car, and they might not be far. Since he knows it’s the strangers, he’d mention it probably belonged to a family.
A dreaded vote, and it’s Lee, Clem and surprisingly Lilly vs. Kenny, Katjaa, Travis, Carley/Doug, Mark and Larry.
Outvoted, Larry snatched the keys from Lee and they pillage the car. Doug/Carley comes up to Lee with batteries for Clem’s walkie, but Lee takes them instead, saying they might need them for something important.
EP2-3, Lee is aware that at this point the bandits are going to attack the inn because of Ben’s deal. So, Lee decided to nip the bud and go to Ben directly. He’d say something along the lines of “Don’t talk anyone in the woods, especially bandits who claim to have his friend.”
Sprinkle in a little, “Or else” because Lee’s DEAD serious on nothing that happened in EP3 happening twice. And Lee’s threat worked…
For Ben, at least. Because the difference between this time and last was Ben’s deal with the bandits.
He didn’t account for Travis being made the same deal.
So, color Lee terrified when Lilly comes to Lee about missing supplies.
He didn’t think she’d be paranoid, now that her dad was still alive.
He knew everywhere to check by the back of his hand, the signaling system, the chalk, all of it.
First, he trucked it over to Ben and immediately called him off the RV. Ben climbs down and Lee lays into him (well, where only he and Ben could hear) and accuses him of being guilty.
Ben’s confused more than defensive, which throws Lee off. Ben asks is it about what he warned him about a week ago, and says he hasn’t seen or talked to anyone outside the inn after he warned him about the bandits, and is generally confused as to what Lee’s blaming him for.
Lee apologizes and leaves. He checks the grate and what’s in it. Meds, of course.
He brings it to Lilly. The motel gets held hostage, but this is different; when they get held hostage, Mark taps on the window Lilly would exit from and warm them before they eventually hear for themselves.
While Lilly tells Lee to stall them, Larry does something stupid. Stubborn as an idiot, he refuses to be held up like he just was a week ago and goes for one of the bandit’s guns, getting shot in the process, causing all hell to break loose.
Lilly leaves her vantage point and goes to get Larry while Mark takes her place, the group splits up like they did before.
Lilly manages to pull Larry behind cover and tries to save him, so Mark has to deal with the bandits and keeping enemies off of her while she’s distracted.
The fending off goes the same, each group gets inside the RV, Duck is still bitten.
Lilly has to leave Larry, so now freshly mourning, and losing the inn, Lee knows all hells about to break loose.
Lilly pins it on Carley if she’s there, or Ben if Doug’s there.
Lee would defend Ben, saying he thinks it was someone else, and for the first time asks Travis.
Travis gets immediately defensive, just as Ben did before. Lee knows he did it.
But Carley/Doug would tell Lee to lay off him. Lilly would believe Lee’s claim that it was Travis since he’s helped her before.
Travis pins it on Carley/Doug.
Ben defends Travis, getting hi back under the microscope.
RV hits a walker, they’ve got to stop. Everyone exits.
Lilly shoots Travis in the head.
…
Lee knew it was Travis. But even so, the act alone caused the group to vote to leave her behind.
Katjaa calls Lee up front and tell him Duck’s bit.
Lee is angry that he’s failing to stave people this time around.
The train scene goes the same, they meet Chuck, Duck and Katjaa die, but instead of training Clem, since he already trained her a bit more and cut her hair, he decides he should tell Clem the new plan for Savannah.
Chuck compliments Lee on teaching the girl to survive.
He tells her that even though Kenny’s deadest on finding a boat, he thinks their best bet is getting out of the city ASAP and making it to the countryside.
Clem wants to find her parents, but Lee tries to gently tell her that they’ve been gone for so long that the chances of them being there or alive are slim to none.
Clem hates that answer.
“You can’t tell me what to do.”
“Clem—”
“I don’t want to talk about it anymore.”
Well, at least that radio won’t be a problem.
They meet Christa and Omid. The next morning, Lee is horrified to hear Clem’s radio go off.
She’d been talking to him again.
Again.
Kenny says he thought the thing was broken, to which Carley/Doug will admit they gave her batteries for it when she’d asked.
Without a second thought, Lee angrily chucked the radio out the train. He’d be damned if that bastard gets his hands on Clementine again.
The they get to Savannah. Molly tolls the bell, they make a break for it. Ben runs from Clem, Chuck saves her and gets split from the group.
They get to the house. And get inside, Doug/Carley keeps watch. Everything plays out the same. Clem goes to Crawford with them. Carley/Doug actually gets killed instead of Brie, however.
Lee saves Ben at the bell tower.
Since Ben isn’t guilty, Kenny has no ill will toward Ben, but also threatens that if he leaves Clem like that again he and Lee will tag team his ass. Ben gets the message quick.
Vernon still offers to take Clem. Lee knew it was coming but isn’t as mad as he was at the suggestion to give away his adoptive daughter. He still declines.
I should note that Clem has definitely notice her walkie’s missing, but Lee says she might’ve accidentally dropped it while they were one the train. She’s really sad about this, and a bit anxious.
Clem asks Lee if they’re going to get on the boat with Kenny. Lee says they might. Due to him trashing the walkie, cutting off all contact with the Stranger, they may be able to all get on the boat; He, Clem, Kenny, Christa, Omid and Ben.
Clem asks if they’ll have time to look for her parents, Lee tells her what he said on the train.
She cries and leaves the room.
Since the group is downstairs, Lee lets Clem have her space. She’s probably really upset with him.
He tries not to fall asleep, but dozes off for a bit.
Lee jolts awake when he realizes. He looks around and doesn’t see Clem near him before remembering she’s downstairs.
He turns and looks out the window, expecting to see Kenny working on the boat.
Instead, his blood runs cold as he sees Clementine, standing outside the fence, talking to someone beside a car.
A station wagon.
A station wagon that looked horribly identical to the one from the woods.
From the one that was parked in front of The Marsh House.
He could’ve sworn his heart stopped beating for a minute as she willfully climbed inside the backseat.
Lee booked it downstairs, nearly falling as he slammed through the backdoor as the car peeled off down the street. Lee runs out the back yard but is too late.
And that’s all I have for now! I spent a minuuuute conjuring this all up! Keep in mind, this is all a rough idea of what I could try, not definitive!
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#xiantober Day 4: Ghostxian
CW // MCD
Lan Zhan stares up at the abandoned house in the dark of night, wondering how his life came to this. Objectively, he knows how: Nie Huaisang begged him to be the "skeptic" on his new ghost-hunting show and their brothers asked him to join.
(He's pretty sure he's really here to be eye candy)
Still. He wonders how it came to this. He hadn't wanted to say no; Nie Huaisang is one of his only friends even though they aren't particularly close. He probably should have said no.
Alas.
It's been a whole 3 months of scouring various "haunted" sights in the hopes of collecting any concrete proof that ghosts exist.
It's been 12 different sights and nothing.
Tonight is the 13th sight. Lan Zhan has no hopes of being proved wrong and he just wants to be at home.
Nie Huaisang hops out of the van with his bag of "tools" (Lan Zhan rather thinks of them as toys, but to each their own) and runs over beside Lan Zhan.
"Ready?"
Lan Zhan sighs. "Mn."
Nie Huaisang pulls up a camcorder and hits record, gesturing for him to do the same. He does.
Once they are recording, Nie Huaisang launches into his intro and spiel about the haunted history of this house. Lan Zhan knows it all already, he read the website. A young man who fought to save a group of people was murdered here 130 years ago. They never found out who did it.
There is talk of other ghosts and spirits being here, claims of sightings of a boy running the halls, an elderly woman in a rocking chair, a tall man who stands in the corner and stares at you, the feel of being pricked by a needle, and disembodied laughter.
Nie Huaisang's goal—aside from proving the existence of the preternatural—is to meet the man who was murdered here and find out who killed him.
Lan Zhan would just like to get the investigation over with.
They make their way in, going through the various rooms.
In the parlour, Nie Huaisang sets up a rem-pod on the rocking chair where people have claimed an elderly woman sits. There are minor spikes in temperature but nothing else happens.
In one of the corners of the house, he sets up a maglite in an attempt to communicate.
Lan Zhan has never been very fond of the maglight specifically, given that it can randomly turn off and on, but Nie Huaisang is very fond of the tool. No ghosts respond (shocking, he knows) and they move on to another area of the house to use the spirit box.
They make their way through, Nie Huaisang predominantly being the one to communicate with Lan Zhan rarely making comments or asking questions. Again, no clear answers come with the spirit box, though the feedback from it was definitely more chaotic than usual.
Nie Huaisang seems excited at that, claiming that proves that there's a lot of ghost activity here. Lan Zhan doesn't comment.
They end their joint investigation (they will be doing solo investigations after) in the basement, where the young man was found dead.
"Let's use the ovilus and SLS cam down here," Nie Huaisang comments, setting his EVP recorder and camcorder down before pulling out the SLS camera.
Lan Zhan sighs to himself and pulls out the ovilus, turning it on and aiming his own camcorder at Nie Huaisang.
Nie Huaisang explains what the equipment does (whether it's for the ghosts or for the viewers at home, Lan Zhan may never know).
"Hello! To any and all who may be down here in this basement, my name is Nie Huaisang and his here is Lan Zhan. We would love to talk to you."
[SEXY]
They freeze and Lan Zhan looks down at the ovilus. Nie Huaisang giggles, moving the SLS camera around the room. "Do you think I'm sexy?"
Nothing.
Nie Huaisang hums. "Do you think Lan Zhan is sexy?"
[HOT]
[MAN]
Nie Huaisang breaks into raucous laughter at that.
Lan Zhan, for his part, feels himself blush slightly. The ovilus has said many things before but never has it so perfectly seemed to compliment him in such a blatant way. Nie Huaisang is enjoying this far too much.
[VOICE]
"I think it wants you to speak," Nie Huaisang says.
"Hello," Lan Zhan says. "My name is Lan Zhan."
[SPARK]
[HEART]
[WARM]
Nie Huaisang is giggling, wiping tears away with his free hand and panning the SLS camera back over the room when he freezes with it aimed at Lan Zhan. His eyes widen as he looks at the screen.
"Looks like you've got company," Nie Huaisang states.
"What?"
Nie Huaisang continues to stare at the screen. "I can see you here, but there is also a clear secondary figure showing up. The stick arms seem to almost be wrapping around you from behind."
Lan Zhan's brow furrows.
[DON'T]
Suddenly, Lan Zhan feels the slightest chill breeze brush his neck. He sucks in a breath and glares at the old window behind him. Old houses are always so drafty.
Nie Huaisang clears his throat. "It's gone. Anyway, we got distracted by you getting hit on by a ghost."
Lan Zhan shoots Nie Huaisang an unimpressed look.
"I would like to speak to the man who died in this basement," he calls out. "Are you here now?"
They wait in silence for a beat.
[KILL]
"You were killed here, yes."
[HELP]
"You need help? What do you need help with?"
Silence.
"Is there anything you want to tell us?"
[ARREST]
[LOUD]
"Arrest and loud?" Nie Huaisang mutters. "Not sure what that means."
Lan Zhan shrugs minutely. "It's time."
"Right, okay ghosts! We're turning off the ovilus now, but we'll be back in alone soon."
With that, Lan Zhan shuts the equipment off and heads to the stairs.
"Ah, ah! Wait up!" Nie Huaisang exclaims, floundering to put his equipment back into his back and catch up. Together they walk out to the van and drop their stuff off.
"Okay, I'll go first this time."
Lan Zhan nods and sits down, picking up one of the walkie-talkies and waits to start the 30-minute timer once Nie Huaisang enters the building. Time passes slowly in the van at night, but he uses it to meditate. The timer goes off and he radios Nie Huaisang to let him know.
They trade off equipment and then it's Lan Zhan's turn to go in.
"I put the walkie where flirting happened," Nie Huaisang says with a smirk.
Of course. Lan Zhan nods and makes his way into the house and down to the basement. He finds the walkie in the far corner of the room.
"Found it," he radios.
"Good," Nie Huaisang replies. "Now I want to you sit in the middle of the room with your eyes closed for a minute while using the spirit box."
Without bothering to respond, Lan Zhan does as told. The annoying static of the spirit box drones on.
"Is there anyone here? Can you tell me your name?"
***** W— ***** Wei— *****
"Wei? Is that your name?"
***** Ying *****
"Wei Ying?"
All of a sudden, the sound of the spirit box cuts out and an eerie silence falls over Lan Zhan. He feels a chill brush over his skin.
~Lan Zhan~
A whisper of his name by his ears makes him jump, his eyes shoot open and he could have sworn he saw a beautiful man's face smiling in front of him, but when he blinks it's gone. Trick of the light in an old, dark basement.
Yeah.
And yet...
Lan Zhan, skeptic of the super/preternatural, finds himself starting to doubt what he previously believed as truth.
He feels something here, in this basement. In this house.
Slowly, he reaches his hand out, palm facing where he thought he saw a man. "Wei Ying?"
Nothing happens for a suspended moment and then he jolts when he feels something on his hand. The sensation slides and spreads over his palm before wrapping around as if another hand is threading their fingers between his. He lets his own fingers fold down.
Lan Zhan gasps quietly when he finds that he meets resistance as if there truly was a hand there, and yet he cannot see one.
~Lan Zhan~
The voice again, slightly louder this time. Definitely not the wind. It's a low, smooth voice; one that isn't familiar to him at all.
Well.
Lan Zhan loses track of time in the basement, holding onto a phantom hand, catching flickerings of the man's—Wei Ying's face. He feels unmoored.
He feels at home.
Until Nie Huaisang's voice rings throughout the house, calling his name in a frightened tone.
Lan Zhan starts, glancing at Wei Ying once more.
"I will return," he states. He has to. He will.
He feels a squeeze on his hand and then nothing. Wei Ying left.
With some reluctance, he stands up and grabs the dead spirit box.
"LAN ZHAN!?"
"I am okay!" he replies loudly.
"Oh, thank fuck!" Nie Huaisang yells. When Lan Zhan reaches the front of the house he finds a frazzled-looking Nie Huaisang pacing around. "You! Why didn't you respond to me?"
"What do you mean?"
Nie Huaisang groans. "I radioed you a bunch! You never replied!"
Odd. Lan Zhan never heard that at all. He reaches for the walkie and presses the button. Nothing. He fiddles with the power switch and tries again. Still nothing.
It seems that more than just the spirit box died when Wei Ying appeared. He wonders if that means the video stopped.
"It died," he states simply. "I apologize for scaring you. I merely lost track of time."
Nie Huaisang studies him closely. "Did anything happen?"
For some reason, Lan Zhan feels compelled to keep what happened a secret. He settled on, "All of the equipment seems to have died."
Nie Huaisang's face falls. "Does that mean we lost our footage?"
"We won't know until we check it."
"Right... Right, let's head out." Nie Huaisang walks back out to the van.
"Mn."
Lan Zhan pauses in the doorway, turning back to look into the house.
He feels a gentle caress on his cheek. He smiles softly. He'll be back.
~
They find out that the footage on Lan Zhan's equipment was, in fact, lost, meaning that a solid amount of the footage overall was lost given that some of that equipment was shared.
Nie Huaisang bemoans the fact that they didn't end up with enough content for a video but Lan Zhan finds he is quite pleased with that as he begins looking into how to buy that house for his own personal use.
It takes a while, but eventually, he becomes the owner of the house.
Lan Zhan moves in and lives his life in a haunted house. Wei Ying is the most present, but over time he comes to encounter the others who reside there too. His life is unconventional, but he finds joy in the moments he spends around Wei Ying, however fleeting they may be.
Sometimes Wei Ying has a stronger presence on Lan Zhan's plane of existence, other times it's a challenge to feel him at all. But they make things work.
Lan Zhan also finds ways to ensure that the house becomes protected so that no one else can buy it and tear it down.
And then, years and years in the future, Lan Zhan peacefully passes away in his sleep, the feel of comforting arms wrapped around him.
And when he opens his eyes, he finally sees Wei Ying, fully as he was meant to be seen. Lan Zhan smiles.
"Wei Ying."
Wei Ying turns to him.
With a wide smile, Wei Ying runs over and wraps him in a bruising hug. "Hey, sexy."
Lan Zhan laughs. A little nod to their first meeting, the start of the rest of their lives together. "Am I in my 30s again?"
Wei Ying nods, eyes roaming over him with a burning hunger. "Yup."
"Why?"
"The house remembers."
Lan Zhan tilts his head in question.
Wei Ying brings a hand to trace along Lan Zhan's jaw. "It remembers how you were at your happiest here, and it preserves that."
Not one to question that which he doesn't understand anymore, Lan Zhan nods.
"Hey, Lan Zhan?"
"Mn?"
"Can I kiss you?"
Lan Zhan doesn't bother responding with words, instead, he leans in and lets his actions speak for themselves. It's a wonderful thing, finally being able to be with the man he loves.
He spends the rest of eternity exploring Wei Ying's body, basking in the love he feels. The rest of the ghosts easily welcome him into their little family. Wei Ying and Lan Zhan all but adopt the little boy, A-Yuan (despite him having been elderly when he passed).
The house remembers them, and they remember it in turn. They find joy in their unending time together.
Their little family is odd, but Lan Zhan wouldn't have it any other way.
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#xiantober#wangxian#mdzs#threadfic#cw: mcd#mo dao zu shi#grandmaster of demonic cultivation#lan wangji#lan zhan#wei wuxian#wei ying#from twitter#wisedawn13#fanfic#fanfiction
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hi there! you've mentioned one thing you're pretty good at is pacing and i always enjoy the way you talk about craft. would you mind getting a little into how you pace stuff and how you know things are working/not working regarding that?
hello anon! i'm so flattered that you came to me to ask! i would be happy to talk about pacing! ❤❤
i will get the most obvious and most annoying advice out of the way first: write a lot and read a lot. like any skill, you get better at writing the more you practice! in my experience, the more stories you write, the more you just kind of develop a sense for where the beats of a story should go, and developing a narrative arc or character arc becomes more second nature.
with reading, i do honestly think that just reading a lot without even being that critical about it is helpful, but obviously reading with pacing in mind is best if that's what you're working on! i pay so much attention to pacing in books i read because bad pacing is so annoying to me. i have more patience for it in fic, because we're all just having fun here, but in published books i'm like, buddy wtf was your editor doing 😂😭
anyway, reading for pacing! just pay attention to if the story feels rushed (what do you think is missing? what beats don't feel earned and what do you think would fix that?) or feels like it's dragging (what do you think could be omitted from the story without losing essential information or development? are thematic or character beats being repeated unnecessarily?) or if it feels well-paced — finding that balance between keeping you engaged in what's on the page in front of you and interested in/anticipating what's going to happen next — and then you can pay attention to what is happening at what points in the story, and think about how it wouldn't have worked as well if you learned certain information later, or if those characters kissed sooner, or if the story spent more time on x instead of y.
also, read the kind of thing you want to write. if you want to write short things, read short stories! ditto longer stories, read novels or novellas. pacing is similar across the board but the length of the story definitely affects it! when i'm talking about pacing i'm generally talking about my long fics, if that is helpful context.
but i know none of that is really helpful if you're working on a story RIGHT NOW!!! so. some thoughts on pacing while i'm writing!
firstly, i'm not a detailed outliner, but i do keep a loose story structure/beat sheet that i sometimes fill in ahead of time and sometimes fill in as i go, to help keep myself on track and to keep the overall shape of the story in mind. there are a lot of different ways to structure a story, so if you're not familiar with beat sheets, do a little googling and find one that you feel like fits your story and/or jives with your writing style. if you're writing something with a strong romance arc, i definitely recommend specifically looking at romance novel beat sheets or romance plot outline guides! just remember that you never have to adhere religiously to the beat sheet if it feels like it's limiting your story 💖
usually my own writing process goes something like this: i write the first chunk of story (10–20k ish) with little to no planning, then take a break and see how what i have maps onto the beat sheet, and think about how the story i've started might hit future plot beats. if i have concrete ideas of scenes i'll pencil them in, and go back to discovery writing. rinse and repeat every 10–20k words.
a process similar to that might or might not work for you — maybe you're much more of a planner, and that's fine! you gotta find what works for you, and sometimes that takes some trial and error!!
another thing for me with pacing is that if i'm trying to write a scene and it feels forced, or it feels really hard to write, there's probably something wrong with it. often the thing wrong is that i'm trying to get my characters to do something that i haven't earned for them yet. which means i'm either going to have to go back and fix something to better build up to the current moment, or (and this is what i do most often) figure out a new goal for the scene that gets the development a step closer to what the original intent of the scene was, and push that plot beat or character moment further down the line. i do think it probably takes some practice to learn to tell the difference between "this scene is hard to write because there's something wrong with it" and "this scene is hard to write because writing is just hard today" but i promise there is a difference! 💕
i wrote some about keeping track of ideas and plot threads in long stories here, which i think is also helpful for this topic. especially wrt keeping track of subplots and stuff, and ESPECIALLY with the stuff about giving characters the space they need. i truly do know the temptation to push on through so you can finish the story faster, trust me, but having the patience to NOT force it can really help with pacing.
i can't remember where i originally learned about it, but i think about the rule of threes a fair amount when i'm writing. that is, if something is important and you want the reader to pay attention to it/expect something from it, say it or show it or allude to it three times. foreshadowing clues, character traits, etc. not a hard and fast rule but useful to keep in mind!
it also must be said that obviously i'm not perfect at any of this. i do think it's one of my strengths as a writer but we all make mistakes and i am definitely still learning and growing!! so once again this is where having a good and trusted beta reader comes in. sometimes you are truly just so deep in your story that you can't tell that the pacing is wonky and you need someone to tell you so you can fix it!
my final little piece of advice here is that if you're writing something long, don't rush the ending. an abrupt ending can definitely be used effectively, especially in shorter works, but in long stories it often leaves the reader wanting. i've read so many books this year that i was really enjoying and then they ended and i was like, well i would have loved another 30–50 pages to properly wrap all that up! i think this especially happens in fanfic, which is so relationship-centric, that fics end super fast after the couple gets together, when sometimes there was a lot of other stuff going on in the story that could use some tlc in the denouement. or, if it's been a long and feelingsy journey for our lovers to get to their happy place, having just a little bit of them actually navigating that happy place and all the baggage they dragged in there with them can be SO nice and cathartic. obviously once again not a hard and fast rule — all stories are different and need different things and that's beautiful!! — but something i like to keep in mind ❤
i hope this was helpful and good luck with your writing!! 💖
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Hello! Can you write something for tasm!Peter Parker who teaches a female reader how to skateboard? A lot of touches, hugs and falls from this thing, but Peter will definitely smooth out all the corners...
Thank you for getting me to 1,000 followers!!!! 🤗 ❤️
Skateboarding Spider Tricks
"Peter I'm not sure about this. I mean what if I break a bone. My parents will freak out." I throw my arms up when we reached the old construction site that he said nobody cared if we were at. Mostly because people couldn't know the true identity of Spider-Man. Except for me his girlfriend of five years. He sits the skateboard on the ground taking my hands in his. I have to look up since he's a little taller but he gives me a cheeky smile. "Look you're not going to get hurt. I'm here and I can web you if you do." He tried to reassure me tucking some hair behind my ear. He helps me step up on his board with my dominant foot. I squeeze his hand balancing my other foot on the concrete. "So push off with this foot then place it on the board behind your right foot." He instructed tapping the back of my knee with his freehand whether I nodded my head mumbling an okay under my breath.
Taking a long drawn breath I pushed off with my left foot causing the board to start rolling down the road. Arms on either side of me I lifted my foot onto the board but apparently too close to the end. Because next thing that happens is the board flipping over and I fall on my knee scraping my elbow and left knee on the ground harshly. Peter runs over immediately dropping on his knees gently inspecting my injuries. He does his best to not touch the scarpes knowing it would hurt me more than it would him since he was fast healing now. "Ah I'm sorry. I should have been more specific Y/n. God I'm stupid-" Shoving my hands over his mouth I lowered them pressing my lips to his to get him to stop. He slowly kissed me back resting one hand to my cheek until I broke it ruffling his already messy hair grinning. "Peter stop worrying. I'm alright. I mean I'm no superhero but I'm okay. Let's go again."
"I've got an idea baby. Get in front of me and I'll put my arms around you." He said flipping the board back over like it's supposed to be. Dusting some dirt off my torn jeans with the wind blowing hair in my face. Raising a brow to my boyfriend's statement I normally didn't question him but with this I have no choice. "Won't that just make our chances of flipping higher Peter?" He runs his hand through his hair stepping on the board doing a backflip keeping the board stuck on his feet still. Rubbing my eyes a few times I probably won't get over that he has the powers of a spider now. I mean I love that he's a badass superhero but some of the stuff he can do blows my mind sometimes. Peter holds out an opened hand that I accept putting my back to his front. Our right foot on the board and the others on the ground. A few minutes later once I adjusted I feel his arms wrap around my waist pressing us up against each other. "Alright you ready. Just push off and trust me. I won't let you ever get hurt." He spoke in my ear kissing my cheek a few times making me lightly blush with a small giggle. He chuckled in response enjoying my reaction every single time.
Together Peter and I pushed off on our feet at the same time. The skateboard started rolling at a slow speed but when I got comfortable we increased the speed. We did a few turns until Peter started turning the board so we would fly up a ramp. I gasped clutching his arms around my waist in nervousness. "Peter!" We started up the ramp but I felt the board start to lift off the ground. Closing my eyes something gets shot and the board does a flip. Squinting one eye open I see Peter is holding a string of webbing he had shot from his Spider-Man suit underneath his clothes. That resulted in the board not flipping backwards so we made the turn landing on the solid ground perfectly fine. "A little warning next time, Peter would be nice. I thought we were gonna crack our skulls." Turning in his arms I rest my hands on his shoulders stepping off the skateboard. He gently squeezes me closer kissing my forehead smiling. "So would you want to take the fun way home?" I snorted at his question loving to fly from building to building. "Is there any other fun option, Spider-Man."
Comments really appreciated ❤️
#tasm!peter x reader#tasm!peter x y/n#tasm andrew garfield#tasm!peter parker x reader#tasm#tasm fluff#tasm!peter parker x reader#peter parker andrew garfield#requests open#send request to my ask box#ask box is open for anything#comments really appreciated
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Hello I love your blog so much and I was curious- how do you think Teen Gohan coped with the fact he killed someone? Specifically his father. After the Cell Saga of course. Like would he hve preferred he was dead instead of Goku?
^^"
Hey, thank you so much! And sorry I didn't get around to this sooner, it has been stewing on the back of my mind for ages and I wanted to draw something for it but couldn't come up with anything concrete...
ANYWAYS
I am very, very torn on interpretations for this tbh and swing many ways. I've read all the fanfiction and seen all the fanart, from Gohan being basically on the verge of suicide (I don't like those fics, but I've read them) to Gohan being overjoyed because he hated his father apparently (I, unfortunately, liked those at one point...) to Gohan having normal reactions and everything in between. Depending on my mood and the goal I want to accomplish in a story, the way I prefer he react changes. I also think many different interpretations sound more or less canon; I don't really have a staunch canon interpretation.
That being said, if you were to ask me right now I'd probably say...well, even now I'm torn XD My brain is thinking a few things:
He was fine, albeit a bit guilty at times. Goku made it clear to him during the Cell Saga fight that it wasn't his fault, that Gohan should direct his anger to Cell instead, that Goku was having a lot of fun with King Kai, etc. And it's true that without Gohan, the Earth wouldn't have been saved. And Gohan has lots of other support in his life: Chichi, Piccolo, Krillin primarily but also the others, and they would beat him up the moment they notice he's blaming himself again. So I think he mostly thinks about his father in a positive light: reminiscing on good times, feeling nostalgic, appreciating his father for protecting him, especially on Namek against Freiza (which seems to have impacted Gohan the most), and just generally thinking fondly of Goku, not having it tainted by memories of the Cell Games.
He felt guilty, but hid it well. This comes out in some DBZ games I think...there was that one game that had Cell come back and Gohan got angry at Cell, telling him he killed Goku, but Cell threw it back at him, and Gohan got angrier but clearly still beat himself up for it. In DBZ Kakarot, Piccolo calls Gohan out for still blaming himself for his dad's death, and Gohan decides to keep the Super Saiyan hair for a while to process his dad's death and his new role as protector. I think this Gohan channels his guilt into trying to be the new protector of Earth (in a self-destructive way, like "why can't I be stronger?" or "I have to be stronger so that doesn't happen again" kind of way), except that just makes him uneasy because Gohan's not like Goku and taking on the burden of being Earth's sole protector is a lot for him.
Gohan does say something like "I wish it would've been me" right after Goku dies. So I think it's plausible that this feeling comes back time to time, but I see this feeling coming back for any of the survivors (I'm sure Krillin's felt the same multiple times for multiple people).
Sorry for the essay LOL but those are my thoughts! Hope I answered your question and thanks again for the ask (and sorry for the long wait!).
Oh, to add: Gohan doesn’t like killing people, but Gohan has killed before. I don’t really know what Gohan thinks about the people he killed, but a lot of them were grunts and a lot of it was in self-defense -- I don’t think it keeps him up at night. Or maybe it does? I don’t have concrete interpretations for this, but part of me thinks it’s just par for the course of being an overpowered half-Sayian forced to protect his friends and save the world against genocidal villains...
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