🐍

🐍 — Snakes or cats?

I haven’t progressed that far into the Parabolan Wars (too expensive) but Elio has sided with the Fingerkings (because y’know,, viper — she probably would have also sided with Cats if she was a Midnighter at the time, but the decision was made when she was a Silverer so sneks it is) and Vox with the Cats — Elisha would be too paranoid to even touch Parabola I fear, you’re going to have to hold them at knife-point for that.

[ask game from here]

i have lots to say about this episode appartently so we're gonna stick it in one post under the cut

okay five minutes into episode 8 and i already want to cry; 'you might even be happier' like you both know thats a lie right, look at their faces; 'let me go already' sand why do you have to hurt me

no no no jennie must be happy at all times what is this take it back i dont want it

straight up not the first time mew has tried a cigarette i dont care what he wants everyone else to believe; its quite nice my ass

is this fucker really trying to get sand to do his community service; wow really you're gonna pull out the orphan card what is wrong with you; sand for the love of all that is holy please grow a backbone if ray says naaaa one more time im gonna flip a table

cheum my girl, firstly fascinated by the fact that at the beginning she was only worried about mew, like does anyone actually like anyone else in that friend group, because if i knew one of my friends had been in love with another one for years and then they got together because the other one was very obviously having a bit of a spiral i would sure as hell be worried about both of them - like it's so obvious that ray is being used and is going to have his heart crushed and just straight up no one seems to care

okay now she's shitting on her other supposed friend; i love her girlfriend but she was definitely lying when she said people were lucky to have cheum as their friend i see very little evidence of that

GUMPA

wow we're really talking about licking ass

but glad to see nick hasn't totally fallen apart and is going after opportunities yadda yadda even if the trailer shows us that this will probably also get messy, at least my boy's trying

boston what the fuck dont make me cry my poor lonley boy why is no one, literally no one in his corner i know he's a shit but being that alone breaks my heart, everyone else is a shit too and they all at least got someone

quite frankly mew, i am also bored of you

im sorry but why would you invite boston and top? okay maybe boston i get because he's part of the hostel they're hosting it at maybe but top? that's just asking for trouble. unless it's like an open invite? but then why did they get notifications? (edit: so apparently cheum invited him but still, what the hell)

i feel like this was a missed opportunity to put mew in some sluttier clothing tbh

alrighty we're doing coke off the table lads

he didn't pick you ray, you idiot, you are literally the definition of a rebound; someone i should love wow what a dick

i love you mew... awkward silence

there are too many lights on at this party

the drink in the face i did not see that coming im cackling, top if i were you i would run from this train wreck

oh wow you really rejected his attempt at a kiss in private but you're literally straight up using him in front of top boy i dont care how broken your heart is dont use other people that way; ray you're an idiot if you dont pick up on this

cheum there is a time and a place and this probably aint it; my mother is dead - jerk, wow what a lovely friendship they have

oh dear i hope this isn't going to turn into a controlling situation for nick but i wont hold my breath, just give the kid nice things for once

didnt we agree to moving on together why is this a conversation i didnt witness, i need this you dont understand

moving on in a circle why is he so funny

boston my guy you have some serious balls turning up to this party but i kinda love you for it

who are you to judge me you know what this is a very valid point, boston being the voice of reason on this show they've all done shitty things to each other and i really cant blame him for being cold to nick, that shit was pretty fucked up

freddie's bi, you're bi, i'm bi, let's make out - honestly most iconic part of the whole episode i think

why didnt you come to me ray im gonna hit you, he's not your property, he's not accountable to you

I WANT TO SLEEP WITH YOU RAY YOU WERE LITERALLY JUST SUCKING FACE WITH THE SUPPOSED LOVE OF YOUR LIFE WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL

ray threesome agenda continues i see

fake freddie the only one with any brains what so ever

thank you sand. finally.

ray that was fucked up. like manipulative, controlling, red flag fucked up.

oh shit its cheum's little brother so my god boston you absolutely wrecking ball of a human being

top buddy why dont you just go home, you are clearly not having a good time

honestly boston, walking away is most definitely the right option

how is it that top has pouty eyebrows

oh shit police

top going for the bribery route i see, this will either make him look like a right idiot or make him look like the hero

cheum what the fuck is wrong with you; you're right they dont care about you but quite frankly do you actually care about them? mew yes but the other two you have always treated a bit like shit tbh

this groups needs to fall apart

okay the taking care of the passed out guy is nice but the stroking of the pass out guy is getting a little weird top

so the bribe worked? alright top there to save the day that's going to make things nice and awkward isnt it, at least ray can pay him back so he doesn't have a financial hold over him i guess

sand going through all that shit and he's still the one doing the comforting for nick, their friendship is so good, even after what sand did they're still there for each other

boston my boy, my lonely boy

too much drama he says so i'll sleep with my friends little brother he thinks, god i love this absolute disaster of a human, he tried for a split second there, he really did

PREVIEW

DADDY DAD WHAT THE FUCK

slutty boston is back im so glad he didn't get any dick in this episode and that just seemed wrong tbh

mew flirting with randomer in a bar? what about ray? for real - yeah he's taken top, but not currently by you

ooh involving the family (or at least i assume those are mew's mums), personally not a fan, leave families alone dont use them for manipulation

again ray, he's not your property fuck off

i've never been so yielding to anyone in my life well at least you're self aware i guess

yaaa that shot of boston at the end there? lonley and leaning on the bar? breaking my heart right now

My thoughts on Seabound!!! 🌊🌊🌊 (3/4)

SPOILERS ALERT!!!

Yep yep yep, I'm liking this season a lot! 😍 Although I hope we'll get into a more frantic situation now, like with more battles and more bonding moments (Nya and Maya hopefully, but with Bentho too 🦈🦈🦈)! We got half a season to go, I'M READY!! 😎😎

Alright, here we go!

GENERAL THOUGHTS

I do like the season a lot, maybe MoM was a little more cohesive? Idk but it's not a big complain, I still love it so far 😍

Also maybe I would've liked more interactions between Nya and Maya about how they've been apart for so long, they had a chit chat but I would've loved even more. Maybe with Nya saying that it was fine and she grew up only to realize she is still hurt by that, even though it wasn't Maya's fault. I still like how they did it, I wished there was more that's it 🤷‍♀️

While I do make sense to Maya's behavior, that while it seems a little different from Hands of Time it had its logic in my opinion, maybe Ray feels a little weird? He seems less courageous than before, and it was established that he is a hothead like his son so that came off as unusual 🤔🤔

But I do love the fact that he's here and he's bonding with his son, for real, I've been waiting for this for so long so I'm happy nonetheless 🤩

Maybe I'm just easy to please and I take all I can get idk 😅

THE STORM AMULET

Oh, are we gonna address the wind element? It feels like we haven't really seen a Morro reference since Hands of Time, that would be cool! 😍 I mean, why even mentioning the wind then 😅😅

Well what do you know, they tracked them, who saw that coming?... me, I saw that coming... we all did probably 🤷‍♀️

Jay took upon himself making a quick recap on how Ninjago will be destroyed this time, thanks Bluebell 👌

Yep nyeheh electricity makes Nya go crazy for sure ❤💙 ... wait it wasn't a Jaya pun?

Jay wear your seatbelt please, you risk you life enough 😅😅 Pff lol "are we there yet" and they are actually there, biggest plot twist I've ever heard of 😂

LEGO HUG 💜💜💜

And with someone who might as well join the League of Jay apparently 💙

I liked The Island yet it was not as exciting as I hoped for, but now understand the meaning of it. The ninja helped the keepers and they are all allies. Without The Island the moment where Mammatus gives Nya the amulet wouldn't be as meaningful

Is it just me or Nya looked even more gorgeous during that moment?... just me huh? Okay then 😂💕

Wait that's a fake? Wait... UNCLE POWERS?!? OMG THAT I ACTUALLY DIDN'T SEE COMING 🤯

Here I thought he was just messing around, he always makes things harder 😅 Or maybe better? I mean, they kinda missed a bullet on this one...

BENTHO IS SO SWEET AND COOL OMG HE IS ALREADY OUR FRIEND 💙🦈💙🦈

Jay somehow had his own TV show in the past and yet he's got that horrible acting skills wth 😂😂😂

Kalmaar is a very cool villain, like, deeply evil. Not only he's calculated and merciless, he stops at nothing to get what he wants. And the people that get in the way? He wants them to suffer because they had dared to confront him 😳

And yes the voice does help a lot, I'm sorry I'll keep saying it until the season is over 😂 (or even beyond? Please cast Giles again LEGO 🥺🥺🥺)

Awww Nya no my poor girl 😢 Jay wanted to hug her to comfort her he is so sweet my SHIP ❤💙❤💙

MOM PEP TALK MOM PEP TALK!!! 🤩🤩🤩 How cool was it?

Like, this isn't even Maya asking Nya to believe in herself, this is her saying that she KNOWS her daughter can do anything when she puts her mind into it. FINALLY SHE SEES HOW AMAZING WATER GODDESS IS 💜💜💜

MORE LEGO TEARS OMG THIS SEASON IS FILLED WITH TEARS 😱 Which... kinda makes sense considering it's a water based season 😂

Nice one, and now? NOW WE GO BACK TO KAI COLE AND RAY YAS!!! ❤🖤❤🖤

RIDDLE OF THE SPHINX

That is... surprisingly Egypt theme like? It feels like a title coming from the Fire Chapter of season 11... well we got two fire elementals so 😍😍

SPARRING KAI AND RAY

I REPEAT SPARRING KAI AND RAY!!! SPARRING KAI AND RAY!!! ❤❤❤ Lol Ray got old, but how can someone blame him? He did touch death while aging in Hands of Time, I'm just happy he is alive 😂

Yep, master prankster Wu, that's what I love 👌👌 I always thought Wu had become a father figure for Kai at the beginning, so seeing Ray and Wu in the same picture feels very wholesome to me 😚

Ah, uncle Powers, I both love you and hate you so freaking much 😌😌 But you make cool slides nonetheless 😂

ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME WITH BEAUTIFUL SMITH INTERACTIONS??

BECAUSE I LIKE IT KEEP GOING 🤩

Oh no you guys are stranded on an island whatever are you going to do?? It's not like you had already before and managed to survive (Skybound) or you got stranded on a rock in a sea of sand filled with giant monsters (Fire Chapter) or you were on a freaking COMET in SPACE (Rebooted). Yeee, this is the worst yet 🙂

I'm starting to think these ninja are just a bunch of drama queens so no matter what happens, it's always hopeless 😂😂 I feel like I'm kinda right on this one honestly 😛

Whoa whoa WHOA WHO IS NYAD THIS SOUNDS VERY COOL???

Aww I like that, while Ray told his kids stories about dragons and how they traveled through the Underworld, Maya told them about Nya the first water master that could summon whales 💙❤💙❤

Pff imagine if it turned out Nya was the master of fire, carrying a very water based name? Lol

Maya: I would know if it was possible!

Nya: Yeah, like she knows that I can control a bit of ice because it's frozen water

Maya:...

Maya: YOU WHAT

I find both interesting and very annoying that this explorers club thinks so highly of themselves, to the point the deny to aid even the FREAKING SAVIORS OF THEIR FREAKING LAND 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

Misako got good reflexes after all, Kai was probably ready to melt this guy's face 😅

Oh, so a trial by Sphinx is a challenge? A mental one? A cultural one? A physical one? Idk but Misako is actually taking charge and that is cool I guess 🤷‍♀️

Okay this is kind of weird, how is Ray so afraid? Is it because there's fire?... did he... did he grow afraid of fire for some reason? Because it feels a bit off for now, but if there is a deeper meaning that could be interesting 🤔

Wait is that the riddle from Decoded? That's fire right?

IT IS FIRE 🔥🔥🔥

Lol at least in this one Kai wasn't completely ignored 😂 I know my flame babe isn't the most rational person, but I do like that it was an answer connected to his element where he used his head!

Ah Clutch, you really got no backbone 😅 And apparently you're the only explorer who doesn't, dang look at the others go! I'm having a bit more respect for them now 😚

LOOK AT SENSEI GO FINALLY!!! 😍😍 FIGHTING SCENES HECK YES!!!

Kalmaar: I'm your conquerer

Wu: so after skeletons, the serpentine, nindroids, the Stone Army, Chen's army, ghosts, oni, more snakes but on fire and people from a game, that makes you the tenth. Have a free cookie

Kalmaar:...

Wu: you're not special

Is this a little throwback to Possession too? Nya seems to always control better water when she doesn't actually think about it. When her feelings are free, so are her powers 🌊🌊🌊

Also this opens up more possibilities! Creatures connected with other elements might get summoned too! I would love something like that 😍😍

This was NEAT, or maybe I just missed Kai that much ❤ What's next??

PAPERGIRL

ANTONIAAAAAAAA!!!! MY GIRL IS BACK!!! All my girls are back in this season, I'm so happy 😍😍😍 And if she is here, sweet little Nelson has to be around and I cannot wait! Bring in the purple ninja! 💜

Owww Antonia's last day as a papergirl? Nooo why??

She's got a job at the... DAIRY DRAGON??? OMG OMG OMG IT'S THE ICE CREAM PLACE BRAGI TOLD US ABOUT ON TWITTER!!! 🤩🤩🤩 I remember the post, he was asking about names for the place and ice cream flavors. Now I can't wait to see what did he choose 🍦🍦🍦

UNAGAMI BABY HI HONEY!!! 🙋‍♀️ I hope he's doing great 😘😘

This is so cool honestly, Antonia got her own character arc going on! Living in a chaotic city like Ninjago City must be pretty dang exhausting 😅

Was... was that Dareth in the garbage can? Am I wrong? Poor brown ninja 😅🤎😅

SPINJITZU SWIRL, BANANAKHAN, ORANGE SERPENTINE, I'M DYING 😂😂😂

Their friendship is so wholesome, I'm so happy they are still together no matter what happens 💕

I thought Kalmaar wasn't much of a fighter but DANG he's got skills! Also the fact that he uses tentacles makes the fight very cool to watch! 😚😚

RAY RUNNING IN AFTER KAI GOT HURT HECK YES ❤❤❤

Well at least you tried Ray 😅

Ah, little cameo of the original Weekend Whip, always nice to hear it again... AND DO THE WEEKEND WHIP!!! 🌪🌪🌪

EVEN NELSON GOT CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT I'M SO PROUD 💜

I don't even know what is cooler, the kids being mad lads on their bikes, Kalmaar driving a TRUCK or Kai going full parkour on the buildings to follow them 🤯

I'm sorry... am I the only one that during the Kai and Kalmaar talk kinda thought of Jestro and Clay? I miss my boys from NK, they're even more at odds now 😭😭

KAI YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO DIE OR EVEN TRY TO DIE GET BACK HERE AT ONCE 😱😱

Kalmaar just loves to make everyone feel inferior, gotta be his hobby 😶

Oh good Kai is back

OH NOT GOOD KAI IS NOT BREATHING?!? FLAME BABE I TOLD YOU YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO DIE 😱😱😱

Antonia, Nelson, you guys are now my heroes. You saved my fave, I'll be forever in dept with you ❤❤❤ Am I being overdramatic? Most likely, but Kai is one of the few that didn't almost die or did die in a dramatic situation and he is also my absolute favorite character so that... kinda keeps my sanity in check in this show 🥴

I wonder... does he still not know how to swim? He saved Lloyd in Possession but I wonder if he was only trying to float on the surface... THAT'S TERRIFYING

This episode was so adorable, I love Antonia and Nelson so much 💜💕💜💕 It's nice to see what the other people of Ninjago do while everything goes mad 🤣

Wait hang on my Ninjajan is a little rusty

"Ninjago City. City that never sleeps" well if that ain't the truth 😂

MASTER OF THE SEA

Like Master of the Mountain? Wait are we going back to Shintaro?? VANYA?? ANOTHER BEST GIRL RETURNS??? 💛

Hey hey hey, we got a full Nyad backstory! I really like when they do these little drawn shots, they feel more like legends! And... the ending sounds terrifying? Like, they wouldn't let Nya sacrifice herself and die... again... right? 😱

Bentho: and the world was in balance, until now because of my brother

Lloyd: and the Overlord before of course

Bentho: the what now?

Lloyd: the evil one my grandpa the first Spinjitzu Master fought?

Bentho: YOUR WHAT NOW

Why do I like this offscreen "hiiiyaaa" that sensei Wu does before actually going into the scene? 😂😂

No matter if they come from the underground or the sea, these are all snake-like creature with the same intellect 😅 Kalmaar and Garmadon would have a lot to talk about, sea king dealing with his minions does remind me of Lord Garmadon in season 2 a lot 😂😂

KAI AND RAY FIGHTING TOGETHER KAI AND RAY FIGHTING TOGETHER ❤🔥❤🔥❤🔥❤🔥❤

OMG Kalmaar is such a brat and petty villain I love him so much 😂😂😂 Yes I didn't even mention his amazing voice!... AH DANG IT 😳😳

*Misako kicks Kalmaar and is actually useful* 🙆‍♀️🙆‍♀️🙆‍♀️

*Misako gets taken as hostage immediately after* 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

KAI LITERALLY JUST GOT SAVED FROM DROWNING WHY MUST YOU DO THIS TO HIM!!!... and Ray and Cole and Wu of course, I care okay 😅

OMG that face 🤣🤣🤣

That some meme material right there

Whoa Vincent that voice just got super up when the Unsinkable showed up, it kinda sounded like Jay's lol

NO NOT BENTHO!!! 😢😢😢

Kai: Nya talks to whales now? (I snorted so hard at this 😂😂)

HECK YES NYA GOT THE AMULET!! 😍😍😍 ... we got, like, four more episodes to go so something needs to happen in between... do I need to be scared? I feel like I need to be scared 😅

Jay starting a fire then blaming Kai?... this is so in character I got chills 😂😂

SHARK BOY IS STAYING TO THE MONASTERY THIS IS SO PRECIOUS!!! 🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩 I want all the shenanigans and we need to write fanfictions about more shenanigans and AAAAHHHHH 🦈🦈🦈

Bless these two fire idiots

They own my heart ❤🔥❤🔥 Also Vincent, this is supposed to be a fun little gag moment, your amazing voice acting is kinda distracting me 😭😭😭

ANOTHER LEGO HUG

YOU GUYS ARE SPOILING ME OVER HERE HECK YES 💙🌊💙🌊

Maya learned that her daughter is capable of everything, I love that. Nya simply understood that she doesn't have to give up when something gets difficult. She is AMAZING and can do anything she puts her mind into. She simply has to hold on until the end 💪💪💪

Omg Benthomaar playing billiard with the guys I already love this 😍😍

YES IT IS SHINTARO!!! THE UPPLY ARE HERE OMG!!! HI VANYA YOU LOOK AMAZING GIRL MISS YOU I HOPE YOU'RE DOING OKAY!!! 💛💛💛 ... I just really like Master of the Mountain okay 😅

I love how Vanya doesn't even question it. It comes from Cole and he said it needs to be protected? Done and done 👌

Wait what, did something fall?

IS THAT THE FAKE?!?!? WHAT HOW WHEN??? UNCLE POWERS??? OR KALMAAR DID SOMETHING??? SOMEONE??? I'M LEGIT CONFUSED AND EXCITED??? 🤯🤯🤯

Well dang, I didn't see that coming, now what Seabound? What do you have for me?

ive said it before, and i'll say it again: ugly unlikable unsexy sexy anime men are the fucking backbone of our society, ok?

like for every nanami, for every stein and jumin and whoever else we need an absolutely fucking garbage tier sexy man. now im not talking sexyman i'm talking sexy man. a man who is sexy not a sexyman you understand?

to be completely fair, sgdimple is kind of a sexyman like what with the 10 minutes of screentime and the suit and the humanization of a non human character-- but i digress.

while there is certainly an appeal to that top shelf anime man, the pure unfiltered appeal that you don't get anywhere else, the bottom of the barrel proletariat working class men have a sense of... flavor.

take for instance, the man of the hour, or the ghost or whatever, dimple.

you all give me shit for liking dimple, and rightfully so to some extent. he's ugly, he's a ghost, he's kinda evil, he's got like some issues etc etc.

what i am positing here is that dimple is not sexy in spite of his ugliness, but rather that that repulsiveness, that bottom-of-the-barrel-ness, makes him sexier.

his cringe-and-fail-ness, his unattractiveness, his failures, it brings him down to earth in a way that is uncommon as far as fictional men go.

i would be intimidated talking to a top shelf fictional man. i would not be intimidated talking to dimple.

but despite those failures, he's got some conventional appeal to him.

barring sg!dimple here, because he's obviously attractive and in addition to that a sexyman as i mentioned before, buff dimple is a great dimple option.

he's big, he's strong, he's fucking ripped and he can turn his arm into a sword. he can carry you so tightly in arms so huge. he's got a sense of "big strong monster bf" that jumin or nanami or stein just can't compete with.

and the other thing about dimple is that he's got some ambition to him, you know?

like even beyond the grave, he's got some goals! he's not satisfied being just some ghost, he's not satisfied sitting alone at home, i think that if i played my cards right and harnessed that drive he could be a really solid partner.

he's also a funny guy! i dont know i love jumin as a character but i couldnt joke around with him the way i could with dimple. dimples a silly lad.

holy shit i accidentally wrote my longest essay yet

dimple is a pioneer in uglysexiness, for he does not simply be sexy in spite of being ugly but rather that ugliness makes him sexier. this adds a significant amount of flavor that a more conventionally attractive anime man couldn't even come close to.

romance headcanons.

name: joel forges.

nickname: the mechaneer, j, joe, the mechanic, mr. fix-it.

gender: male.

romantic orientation: pan.

preferred pet names: he doesn’t have any preference really. don’t think he’s ever been in a position to be called any.

relationship status: single 

favorite canon / fandom ship: well joel isn’t actually canon (i cry about it every night) so i can’t say i have any for him yet besides maybe some of the ships that’ve been discussed with friends. for the fandom itself i do ship goldenbridges or rather i ship my narrative of how i see that ship playing out, also goldenmemories (higgsxfragile), and I definitely ship them all as an ot3, I feel like i lowkey ship sam to an extent with almost everyone minus some obvious notps, i ship junk and chiral with marriage counselling, higgs with pizza, sam with rest, amelie with a fucking BREAK or maybe an esc/restart button on her LIFE

favorite crossover ship: i really don’t have any yet tbh, i need development and at least some chemistry before i’ll ship something and sadly im still in the building joel up and telling people about him phase so no actual threading has happened yet uwu SOON THO

opinion on true love: hmm--- i don’t see joel being the type of person to completely write it off but i don’t see him actively believing in it’s existence. that could just be because of his own experience with love. he hasn’t experienced romantic love for himself but when people talk about true love to him it’s always come off like some sort of fairytale concept, like its some sparkly unicorn idealistic thing that only happens to a handful of lucky assholes willing to wait or spend all their time looking for it. the concept itself isn’t at all attractive to joel. whatever love may actually be it’s joel’s perogative that it’s different for every couple, layered, built... people can have their fairytales, he prefers the real thing regardless of how unpretty that may look like. 

opinion on love at first sight: again, he’s sure some people might experience SOMETHING upon first sight but you can’t make him believe it’s love.

how ‘romantic’ are they?: hmm probably less so then what most people would want but maybe a little more so then most would intially think? joel doesn’t have much in the way of experience here other then what he recalls of his parents & their relationship, how they tended to ‘flirt’ with eachother, show love, show affection. it’s not something that i think he does a lot of so much as he does what feels natural to him, and does so perhaps in subtle ways, in quality time, acts of service. give him time though, watch him learn, and perhaps that side of him will grow.

ideal physical traits: he really doesn’t have a preference, it’s not what he notices about people.

ideal personality traits: honesty. facades are things that joel sees through with ease and if he has low patience for anything is bullshit and liars. loyalty. wit/intelligence. don’t gotta be a genuis to get his attention but the lad needs someone he finds intellectually stimulating, needs someone he can talk to on his level, anyone who can make him laugh, banter with him, do deep conversation is someone he could be interested in. grit, nerve, backbone, spirit-- call it whatever the hell you want but anyone who wants to be able to keep up with joel better have some cause he’s got it in spades and it’s a quality he does look for in others. empathy. he doesn’t need someone to be a bleeding heart but he needs someone capable of feeling for people, of understanding where he comes from. self-confidence. independence. joel isn’t the type to be up anyone’s ass all day and expects the same from partners. he needs some amount of time to himself so he does look for that in others.

unattractive physical traits: probably anything that indicates someone doesn’t take good care of themselves be it diet or exercise or hygeine. he doesn’t care if someone looks like a model but someone who looks like they dont care about their phyiscal health as opposed to their appearence is gonna be unnatractive to him. he definitely understands depression and lack of energy having a huge say in this v thing and as long as he’s aware of the person enough to know this about him he’s also pretty lenient in this way to even if he’ll still be concerned for their well-being.

unattractive personality traits: pushover types, drama kings/queens, shallow types, selfishness, being mean-spirited, prone to abuse and use of those around them, lack of empathy, eletism, traitorous or manipulative types, dishonest, ingenuine, materialistic, stupidity, cowardice, flaky, pretentiousness, whiney, hypocrisy, laziness, hateful.

ideal date: to be honest anything that results in some quality time spent is aces in his book be it maybe walk or hike somewhere, a ride, or a drive together, or just time spent together at his place, their place, or his garage even. so long as they’re doing something or together somewhere they’re both comfortable and able to enjoy the other’s company he’ll be happy.

do they have a type?: not really? i suppose he likes people similar to himself? that he can find a level of compatibility with without being so similar that their company is boring. someone that’s capable, reliable. that he can trust. someone he can talk with, can handle him when he’s not holding back verbally emotionally or physically. someone he can talk to but is comfortable with his introvertedness. joel can be social if need be but he NEEDS time to himself and is most comfortable in his own company so i feel like he’d appreciate someone who doesn’t mind that and who he can be alone with comfortably without feeling drained for it. someone who calls him out on his bullshit when they see it. he likes people who speak their mind and can match him in snark to. someone who can match him in a rare bout of spontaneity, keep him on his toes. someone compatible enough there is chemistry but not so much that they’re boring and different enough they challenge him in healthy ways and offer opportunities for him to grow as a person and vice versa.

average relationship length: he’s never really been in a relationship but I feel like if someone managed to catch his interest and put in the work and effort with him to build something that can be termed a relationship then---, it’d last probably as long as it was something they both wanted and were comfortable with.

preferred non-sexual intimacy: listen--- joel’s primary love language is quality time. so long as he can be with them, share space, share thoughts. that’s intimate in itself. more meaningful to him. now if we’re talking physical intimacy-- probably anything that involves touching their hair or their hands. there is something incredibly intimate about both acts with the right person, the right moment.

commitment level: yeah once joel is a part of someone’s life he’s basically a part of it forever even if he’s no longer WITH them in that sense. it takes a lot to get him to a place where he can no longer bare to be with someone or be in their life in any capacity. he’s nothing if not loyal and he’s not prone to giving up on people at all much less those he cares deeply about. if someone breaks his heart however, shatters his trust in them... yeah.

opinion of public affection: can’t say it effects him much seeing it from other people or couples but he’s probably not one to engage in it himself beyond what could be considered platonic gestures. i wouldn’t call joel shy really but he does prefer privacy when it comes to showing his affections. you won’t get him hanging all over you but a stolen kiss or two, hugs, holding hands, if you’re into that he won’t stop you, he’ll likely enjoy it. pushing for more beyond that outside of a very specific mood is probably gonna get you teased for being impatient.

past relationships?:  he’s never really had anything he’d call a romantic relationship. he’s had 1 or 2 rare romantic encounters. but neither of them developed into anything serious enough to call them a relationship. aside from his family he has a few friends, clients, aquatiences.

tagged by: snagged with permission from @goldenmasked​ tagging: @strandsoffaith​ , @arklayruins​ , @carlosexpress​ , @samuelungerbridges​ , @heartshapedstrand​ , @takenpeace​ , ANYONE ELSE WHO WANTS TO DO THIS FEEL FREE TO STEAL IT AND TAG ME SO I CAN READ IT

The Power of Guilt

“Oi!”

Dove sighs and holds up a finger to the fishmonger.

“Une seconde…hello, boys.”

God, it’s been two weeks and she’ll swear they’ve shot up like weeds. Dick jabs his brother in the ribs and hisses, “Manners.”

“You have ta mind your manners, I don’t. We got somethin’. Right?”

“Wrong,” she says, and Jason gives her a look of utter betrayal while Dick guffaws. “But you don’t have to mind your manners, kid. Whatcha want-ah, la truite s'il vous plait.”

“We got some words that the big bird might wanna hear,” Dick says. “And we got a new one.”

“Oh, boy, an organization-merci.”

“You’ll like this one.” Jason reaches behind them and yanks a tiny little thing, maybe nine, out and to the front. “This ‘ere’s Tim. We found him in the canal.”

‘Tim’ stares at her like he wants her to save him from the savages who have forcibly adopted him. She will do no such thing.

“Really?”

He nods, lip sucked in between his teeth and eyes big and watery.

“I fell in tryin’ ta get outta th’ way of a dog cart.”*

Maybe she’ll save him from the savages.

“Come on, you three. Step lively.”

There’s a bit of fighting over who gets the window and who gets wedged in the middle, and she eventually drags the closest ear-Dick, it turns out-over to sit with her.

“You’re lucky Mister Cobblepot’s in town today. He’s leaving for the weekend to see his mother-you all right, Tim?”

“’ve never been in a cab before.”

And.

And something about that sounds off, or maybe it’s that lower lip, out a tad too far-

“You taught him your ways,” she accuses Dick, who has the sheer audacity to look at her like he’s never done anything wrong in his entire life.

“Maybe just a little? I’m the good influence! Jay tried to teach him pickpocketing and he got knocked around by an old lady with a parasol-”

“That was great-ow, you little brat-”

“-so this was safer, really, I mean, look at him-”

She has a headache already.

* * *

Oswald Cobblepot, known in select circles as the Penguin, is a formidable man for one who barely comes up to her shoulder. He commands respect, and dignity, and-

“So we gotcher info, big bird.”

And probably a very stiff drink as soon as the boys are gone.

“Thank you, young sirs.” He taps a finger against his desk. “I suppose you want your usual fee?”

“Add ten percent.” Cobblepot raises one eyebrow. Dove’s not going to lie, she’d severely maim a man to figure out how he does that. “We got another one.”

“Fantastic…come here, boy. Let me see you.”

Tim rather resembles, Dove thinks, a baby bird. Not a freshly-hatched, ugly little goblin, but a fluffy, cute one that can’t quite fly yet. This is very much a good thing-Cobblepot adores three things in life-power, his mother, and his aviary. He’s the type of man to risk being run over by a hansom to rescue a downed pigeon. She’s seen it happen.

They stare at each other. She thinks that Dick’s either a good teacher or Tim’s a natural-she can just hear Cobblepot’s heart beginning to bleed a little teeny tiny bit.

“Six percent.”

“Eight.”

“Done.” He leans back in his chair. “All right then, lads. Tell me everything you know about Messers Grange and Williams.”

It’s mostly just things that were already suspected-they’ve been writing off a little of the merchandise each time, claiming water damage or loss or what-have-you, and it’s been…plausible, but. Cobblepot didn’t make it to where he is today without triple-checking everything.

And unfortunately for those two, he’s now got eyewitnesses confirming that yes, those guns were not damaged by Gotham’s damp air or lost to lucky thieves, they were loaded into a hansom cab and driven off to Grange’s townhouse.

Pity. They were good at getting things here quickly.

Money is handed over and vanished into Dick’s shoes and Cobblepot waves a hand at them.

“Run along, boys. I’m sure Miss Marquis will feed you before you go.”

“Thank you, Misther Cobblepot.”

That sneaky little-she knows that trick, that careful add of a lisp for maximum pity points. Jason may like to insist he’s the bad influence, but if any of them were going to wheedle the Queen out of her palace, it’d be little Dickie Grayson.

And now, apparently, Tim.

“Go on, boys, I’ll be right behind you.”

They leave and Cobblepot blinks a few times, checks over his desk.

“What just happened?”

“I have no idea, sir. I’ll bring you a nice drink in a minute.”

He nods, still looking a little confused.

“Do that. And remind them that I have that silver counted!”

* * *

“So we’re gonna call ‘im Tiny Tim,” Jason informs her around a cracker. “Get ‘im a crutch, maybe. Then if shit goes south again he’s at least got somethin’ to hit back with.”

“You knew she’d catch me-”

“I did not, I thought I raised you better-”

“You showed me one time, in a crowded street, and then shoved me at her!”

“You’d better hope I don’t die, there’s only so many saps in Gotham.”

Dick thunks his head against the table. Dove sighs and tugs Jason a few inches away from Tim.

“Don’t be dramatic.”

“I am the backbone of this household,” he declares. The other two snort and he tips his head back to look at her. “No appreciation. Look at these ingrates.”

“You’re fine.” She taps his plate. “Eat that, I swear you’ve gotten thinner since last month-”

There’s a rap on the doorframe and she’s not going to deny it, she jumps a foot in the air. Or she would, if her skirts weren’t so blasted heavy. Seven pounds of undergarments, her foot…somebody needs to get off their arse and come up with something lighter. You can barely get out of the way of a runaway horse, even now!

“Commissioner.” She forces a smile. “I didn’t know you were here. What can I do for you?”

Gordon smiles and jerks his head towards the boys, who have clustered together a little more. The older two have closed ranks between Gordon and Tim, which is darling and pointless-Gordon’s a big softie, always has been. How he survived the War is a mystery.

“Who are these?”

“They do some errands for me sometimes-you know, run a letter, fetch the groceries.” She reaches over to tousle Jason’s hair and for once he doesn’t even pretend to swat at her hand. “Mister Cobblepot is in his study, I presume that’s why you’re here.”

“You presume correctly.”

“I’ll go tell him you’re here. You boys are fine, eat up.”

Cobblepot is scribbling something in his notebook. Even from here she can see that whatever it is, it’s scathing-he has a unique talent of imbuing his writing with tangible emotion.

“Commissioner Gordon is here to see you.”

“Hm-oh. That’s right, he said he’d be by.” And just like that, the notebook of scathing words is snapped shut and disappeared into the false bottom of his desk drawer. “Send him in.”

She finds Gordon trying and failing miserably to get conversation out of the boys, and she’s not sure who she’s rescuing when she sends him on his way. It doesn’t matter-the study door’s barely closed when they return to their original positions. She supposes she can’t blame them for being suspicious of the cops, really.

“You boys be safe,” she tells them later, on the doorstep, and they don’t even try to hide their scoffs. “You understand? Don’t go taking unnecessary risks, and look both ways before crossing the damn street.”

Right on cue, there’s an altercation down the street involving, what sounds like, a drunk stumbling into the path of a dog cart. Dick pulls Tim away from the curb and Jason says, “Nah, Dickie, let ‘im get run over, it’ll give ‘im another tool.”

“Jason!”

It’s times like this that she’s grateful to have grown up without siblings.

“Boys, please.”

Tim looks up at her with those big eyes and she regrets getting involved.

“Sorry.”

“Go on. And Jason, I swear, if I find you’ve let him get run over-”

“I’m hurt,” he grumbles, but he hugs her anyway before running off down the street, vanishing into the throng near the drunk. Dick grimaces.

“I’d better go make sure he doesn’t get himself stabbed…’bye, Miss M!”

And he’s gone, too, dragging Tim along with him like some sort of oversized doll. She shakes her head and steps back inside for a strong cup of tea.

THE END

*Lies. He fell in because the other two knocked him in by accident running from the cops. He’s fine.

Who are your favorite nasuverse characters?

MY MY, LET’S SEE, in no particular order:

Night of Wallachia/Zepia Eltnam Oberon (Melty Blood): The guy you could say really got me into saying “god damn dude, Nasu can write some solid concepts”. Aside from being my main in Meltan and my most trustworthy companion in those long nights at the parking lots, the explanation and lore behind his abilities is mind blowingly fascinating, and to elaborate on them between his use of what amount to “weaponized rumors” and malignant information modified to grant the wishes of the populace in an Asshole Genie-kind of way that invariably means “I suck all of their blood”, as well as his ultimately well intentioned beginnings before becoming a conceptual cancer of the world, would make this the Great Wall of China of text walls, so I maximally recommend checking his wiki page if you or anyone is interested. All in all, definitely what catapulted me to going into Fate, in a way, because if this relatively obscure game had concepts this cool, the popular franchise by the same guy has to have some game-changing shit (and it does).

Cursed Arm Hassan (Fate): I MEAN, ANYONE THat’s followed me for a couple of seconds has probably thought “god damn this dude loves himself some Hassan” and that is ABSOLUTELY RIGHT. Young Drimito would read about Hassan-i Sabbah as a wee lad, and he was utterly fascinated by this absolutely ridiculous individual whose superpower was basically “REALLY GOOD AT KILLING DUDES” but not in the traditional mythological way of just being Super Powerful and going Dynasty Warriors on armies, no, this dude was subtle, he was bold, but knew that, in the end, smart and resourceful fighting was obviously better than screaming at the top of your lungs and alerting the Entire Turkish Army of his presence. Then, what they did with Hassans in general in Fate is just outright fucking fascinating and appeals directly to my tastes, between the identity masks, how he is absolutely mild and by all means weak in Fate/Stay Night and [HEAVEN’S FEELS SPOILER] doesn’t lose a single fight during HF, despite being pitted against monsters like Artoria or Cu, and eventually his whole backstory actually being revealed in the Camelot chapter of FGO, I just love my uncle, man, I love my uncle and his noodle arm to pieces.

Medea (Fate): Bear with me, it’s not just about her having a really nice design. I am a huge mythos buff, but Greek mythos is one of my favorites, so seeing what they had to do with such an universally reviled villain was honestly great. Medea hits that mold where she’s not really a villain as much as she is an antagonist: She wants to win the war for her own goals, much like any of the other Servants. Yet, she more or less says her wish was already granted throughout the war, anyways, which was “a loving husband for once” all along, which she found in Kuzuki. Their team was honestly damn cool, and I’ll never forget how much I lost my shit when I read what basically amounted to “KUZUKI GRABBED SABER BY THE NECK AND FLUNG HER AT A NEARBY BUILDING” or when he was punching her in the back of the head from the front while she’s in the back pumping him full of buffs and no doubt pulling off the smuggest fucking face.

Kotomine Kirei (Fate): Now here’s one fascinating son of a bitch. Kirei is that character that, whenever he did something, I would go into deep contemplation, I would focus my chakras, decalcify my pineal gland, and open the 64 Gates in order to understand his labyrinth of a psyche. In the end, I realized that’s what makes him so utterly and freakishly unsettling and fascinating: He is not relatable in any way. He is the most unhuman human you could possibly conceive. His brain works in such logical and precise ways, and yet, in ways that absolutely alien to how the normal guy thinks. He is a Fuckhouse through and through. I dare say that Kirei is absolutely the backbone of Fate/Stay Night, like, you got a solid concept, you got a solid execution, what HAVE YOU, but no work goes Out There without some sort of exceptional aspect, the Money Shot element, if you will. Kirei, for me, is definitely the Money Shot of F/SN. It simply wouldn’t have been as good without him.

I think those four are a good approximation to “What I Love About Nasu’s Penwork”, but those are defo not my only favorites: Nursery Rhyme, Medusa (and by extension, Gorgon), Tiamat, Solomon, Waver, Iskandar, Fujimaru Ritsuka (male and female), Medb, Ilya (BOY I HATED Ilya at first and then she REALLY grew on me by the end of HF), Penthesilea, King Hassan, NOBU, Aoko, Sion, and Saint Martha I’d say are my favorites For Sure.

British Puns and Greasy Hair:Part 1

( COLE SPROUSE X READER X TOM HOLLAND) 

SUMMARY :

DailyNews- 

Cole and (Y/n) has reportedly broken up amid rumours Cole had been cheating on (Y/n) with co-star Lili Reinhart. Both Cole and (Y/n) play major roles in the hit CW series Riverdale. Sources have confirmed that neither Cole nor (Y/n), or even Lili for that matter, will be leaving the show despite the brutal tension, especially for (Y/n). The Riverdale cast will soon be shooting the third edition of the hit series with a new actor joining them this season- Tom Holland.

-

A/N : Hi everyone :) I hope you’re all doing well. Please do let me know what make of this Love Triangle I’m trying to create! I love hearing from you guys <3

-

It has been 2 months.Two months since you caught your two best friends making out in the Men changing room. You still remember it like it happened yesterday.

Since it was the last day of shooting, you and Cole had planned a small celebratory dinner. Everybody had already packed up and left. You had been waiting for Cole for over half an hour so you decided to look for him in the Changing room. What you saw next turned your world outside down. To say you had your heart crushed and broken would be an understatement. After all, what do you do when you find out that the first person to ever look into your eyes and tell you he loved you, never really did?

 You’ve kept a very low profile ever since then. There’s no denying you still miss your first love but you don’t, not even for a second, want him back. He ruined you.

The first two months were brutal. You felt out of your body. You were sad for a very long time. You missed him. Of course, you did. You missed the beautiful boy with the greasy blonde hair who’d never let anyone touch his hair, with the exception of you. You missed him everytime you woke up at 3am and realized you couldn’t call him to tell him about your bad dreams anymore. You missed him everytime you came across pictures of you photographed by the paparazzi alone because you’re so used to being photographed, and being protected, by Cole. But you missed him most when you roll over to the other side of bed and find an extra pillow instead of Cole’s warm body and his scent which you were so familiar with.

But as days turned into weeks and weeks into months, your heart began to heal. Camila and KJ were your backbone. Camila dressed you up and took you out for meals while KJ took you girls shopping a lot of times. They made sure you were okay and that you weren’t alone. Soon you started to feel happy again, without Cole. There was no trace of Cole. Camila had blocked Cole from all your social media accounts and even from your phone because he called every single night for 1 month. “Never go back to what broke you,” Camila always reminded you. There was nothing you wanted more than to be with Cole again but the way he broke your heart was brutal and you knew you didn’t deserve any of it.

It has been 2 months. Today is your first day back at work since that dreadful incident. You haven’t seen Cole for two months straight. It would be weird to see him again, as someone who isn’t your boyfriend. To see him and Lili would be pretty sickening but hey, mama raised a strong bitch! You have no idea what’s going on between Cole and Lili. For all you know, they could be dating, you don’t know, no news emerged ever since. You’ve already forgiven the two of them though. Because hating them is just another way of holding on to them and they certainly do not belong in your life anymore. You don’t feel anything towards either of them. No bitterness, no happiness.

“Oh no, I have to be in set in 20 minutes,” you rush to get changed.

So after a 20 minutes ride to set, here’s what you’ve deliberated:

-       That you will be strong.

-       That you will remain professional towards both Cole and Lili.

-       That you will not let your emotions get to you.

-       That you will smile and continue to be the best version of yourself.

Okay, (Y/n), let’s do this.

-

Not surprisingly, you arrive 10 minutes late to the set. Ugh, LA traffic.

Around 3-4 paparazzi were quick enough to hurdle towards you as you parked your car.

Ok, the thing with paparazzi- you loathe them. You know they’re just doing their job but they can be pretty scary sometimes. Cole was  always the one to protect you from them but with him gone, you’re on your own.

Maybe that’s a good thing, you reassure yourself.

You quickly get out of the car as they proceed to take multiple shots of you.

“(Y/N), how are you feeling today?”

“Are we going to see any catfights today?”

“Are you still heart-broken?”

You roll your eyes at their questions as you make your way towards the set.

“Hey, leave her alone!” you hear an unfamiliar voice call out in a strong british accent.

You, in sync with the paparazzi, turn around to find a new face upfront.

The word Handsome would be an understatement.

There stood a guy you’re not sure you’ve seen before. He had dark brown hair and he looked pretty fit!

He makes his way towards you. The paparazzi quickly click him as well, yelling out “Ayee Spidy, what are you doing here?”

Spidy?

The Spidy guy gives you a warm smile as he approach towards you, “(Y/n), right?”

How does he know my name?

“Can we please get in first?” you squeak with a scared look. Gosh, you sure do hate the paparazzi.

So you and the Spidy guy make your way towards the set. Soon, the paparazzi  are out of sight.

“I’m sorry about earlier, I have a crippling phobia of photographers,” you blurt awkwardly, “Thank you for saving me though!”

He chuckles,”That’s my job, saving people”

You didn’t quite understand what he was trying to imply.

“It’s my first day here,” he exclaims

“You don’t say! Anyone who knows Mark knows not to be late,”

“Well then, I hope Mark doesn’t have a crippling fear of spiders if he wants to mess with me”

Okay, you have no idea where this guy gets his sense of humour from. You have no idea what he’s trying to imply.

British puns?

“Have we met before?” you question him. He does look familiar.

Lost in the conversation, you hadn’t realized that you’ve already reached the set.

You walk in to find everyone in a full circle. Camila, KJ, Lili, Casey, Madeline, Cole..

“Ah, (Y/n), you’re finally here!” Mark loudly exclaims.

Everybody turns around to find you and the Spidy guy walking in together. You try your very best not to look at Cole, or be affected by him. Onlookers could easily tell how his face changed when he saw you.

“I see you’ve already met your new co-star, Tom.” Mark exclaims,

Wait what.

“Tom Holland, everyone!”

You gawk at TOM HOLLAND happily waving at everybody as the crew and the cast cheers him on.

How could you have been so stupid? The handsome smile, the fit body, the british accent, SPIDY, the stupid spiderman puns! How could you have missed it?

“Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry I couldn’t’-“ you shyly try to explain yourself.

“That’s alright love, it was fun while it lasted” he winks and disappears in the crowd of producers and crew members.

“(Y/n), make up room!” you hear one of the make-up artist call you.

“Be there!” you reply as you make your way towards the Hair&makeup room.

“(Y/n),” you’re paused by the sound of a familiar voice.

You turn around to find the last person you wanted to see on your first day back at work.

Cole Mitchell Sprouse.

Seeing him after so long feels so weird, espically because you were so used to seeing him every single day. This is your very first encounter with him ever since that incident and you have no idea what to feel. A part of you wants to run up to him and hug him tight like you always do while the other half wants to run as far as you can from him.

 Cole carried a melancholy expression.

“Hey,” you reply, avoiding his eyes.

“(Y/n),” he tries to walk closer towards you but you take a step back.

He pauses, “(Y/n), can we please talk?“

“Aye shy girl! I was wondering if you could show me around?” you hear Tom intervene from a distance. Poor guy looks so lost with his scripts! 

“Sure,” you reply back at Tom, making Cole widen his eyes.

“Later, Cole.” You quietly murmur and leave.

Cole quickly grabs your hand, “(Y/n), please”

You abruptly let yourself free from his grip as you reply, “There is nothing to talk about.”

 You hold your heart together as you walk away from ‘what broke you’. You don’t want to hear what he has to say. You don’t to hear any explanations. He knew what he was doing when he kissed Lili. He did what he did at the cost of your feelings. You’ve forgiven but you’ve definitely not forgotten.

 “Everything alright, love?” Ugh, Tom and his English ways. Any girl could easily be a sucker for this lad!

You nod at the innocent-lost british lad as Cole continues to look on. “Let’s start with the Hair&make up”.

It hasn’t even been 10 minutes since you’ve walked into set but you’re barely holding your heart together after having a short 30 second conversation with Cole. And to think you haven’t even talked to Lili yet!

For all you know, the third season of Riverdale is going to be one hell of a ride, considering you still have feelings for the guy who crushed your heart in two. Hopefully, you’ll be able to get past Cole and Lili in the long run but for now, you’re glad you have this cheeky british lad with terrible puns to pay heed to.

-

A/N : yay or nah?

-

General Taglist ~ @xbobaaa  @riverdrew @dandelions-inthewind @ashleyykabob @bernaboredom  @thevioletmarkey @punkrockandchemicalx @acidbabytears @ceruleanjones  @riverdalemami @simbatastisc

The Team Behind ‘The Billion Dollar Brits’

The incredible path to success for The Agency’s James Harris and David Parnes is one for the books. The Million Dollar Listing L.A. stars and ‘Billion Dollar Brits’ sold over half a billion dollars in real estate in 2017, and have just reached $1 billion in listing inventory in the first five months of 2018 alone. How do two lads from the UK move stateside and go on to build a billion dollar real estate empire—and keep the momentum going year after year? The answer may lie in a small but mighty team that serves as the backbone of the operation. “Our success has been a 100 direct result of our teamwork and the individual strengths that each of us bring to the table,” says David. “Having a strong infrastructure allows James and I to dedicate ourselves completely to our clients, therefore, building on our success year after year." At the heart of the operation is Michelle Ficarra, a 30-year real estate veteran who has served as the team’s Director of Sales for the last three years, Alana Mesica, the team’s marketing and social media lead, and fellow agents Jen Winston and Shiva Elahi. "Having someone with the experience that Michelle has to oversee the details of running our business has made all the difference for David and I," says James. "The dedication, commitment, loyalty and love we have for one another is absolutely amazing." We caught up with Michelle to get the scoop on what it takes to help manage the daily business of one of L.A.’s most successful real estate duos. One billion dollars in inventory is no small feat, especially when you’re looking at multi-million dollar trophy properties, where some of the city’s top agents are competing with one another for the listings. What sets James and David apart from other agents? To really succeed in real estate you have to get over the fear factor; it’s what prevents people from pushing forward. With James and David, there’s no fear or intimidation. They pick up the phone or set the meeting and make it happen. They’re diplomatic and fair, but at the end of the day they don’t take no for an answer—the work ethic is just in their DNA. Coming from a sales-oriented background, working in investments and hedge funds in the UK, they know how to close a deal, and they aren’t afraid to do the work. There is also a genuine quality to them that resonates with clients—they may be TV stars, but they’re honest, relatable, and of course, charming. Considering James’ and David’s high-profile visibility on MDLLA, most would assume there is a huge team operating behind the scenes, but in fact, there are only four of you at the core of the operation. How does the scale of the team contribute to your overall success? David always says, “We’re lean and mean; we divide and conquer—then we come together and celebrate.” We made it a point early on to keep our team tight. We’re all invested, and we share in the success. We get a lot of interest from the show and social media so many agents and assistants want to join our team, but at the end of the day, it’s James, David, Alana and myself as the core team. That’s crucial; it helps us maintain a level of control. The four of us have a group text and we're in constant communication all day, everyday. We’re all CC’d on every email so there’s never one person out in left field, and we’re each good at what we do. Alana focuses on coordinating showings and open houses, marketing and social media. I do all the contracts, research and analysis on pricing and I oversee all of our escrows, James and David are out there interfacing with the clients. We receive hundreds of emails a day and we answer emails and texts in record speed—that’s key to staying on top of everything. How do one or two busy agents manage ten escrows at a time, film a reality TV show and still go out and do showings and secure a billion dollars worth of listings? That’s when it helps to have a team. There’s this unspoken understanding between us; the minute we get a new listing or open escrow, we each just go out and do what we need to do—we’re on the same wavelength and have a system that works.  You’re personally approaching 30 years in real estate. How does that extensive background benefit the team? I’ve had the good fortune of working with some of the most well-known leaders in this industry over the years. I've experienced every memorable cycle the market has gone through so one of the things that I bring to the table is frame of reference; I know the city, its people and its real estate. I run comps and perform detailed pricing analyses almost daily, so at the end of the day it's not us telling a client what their house is worth, it's the comps that dictate that to us. That’s part of my role. Being able to price something effectively comes from years of experience; knowing the houses, the market, the nuances of each neighborhood. I'm also very experienced with the contracts. This benefit is passed on to our clients who are protected if they are buying, selling or leasing. One small mistake can cost millions of dollars so I take risk management very seriously. I have a lot of agents that want me to mentor them so they can learn how to do the contracts and I tell them just read the contracts over and over again. That's the best way to master it. Providing a bit of wisdom in the form of 'been there, done that' doesn't hurt either. I can usually help David and James understand why an ad should be formatted a certain way or why we should use a particular photo or even why a specific clause should go into our contracts. All of this knowledge, experience and history in the business is one of our team's secret weapons. What’s in store for the team for the rest of 2018; how will you maintain the incredible momentum you had last year? One thing we were all extremely conscious of when we entered 2018 was that number—half a billion sold. How would we beat it? We did some really large deals, but the shift now is that we have built this incredible listing inventory valued at $1 billion. A large chunk of our sales in 2017 were development deals, where our client would be developing the property, and we've already signed and secured the listing for the finished product. Many of these are prime A+ residential sites where some of the city's best trophy properties will be built. I don’t think many agents are looking that far ahead—they don’t have the bandwidth, and they don’t always have the courage to negotiate the deal that far in advance. There are shades of gray with timing on all of these development projects, so it staggers out our listings and secures business for the future. We're all very excited to see what the future brings and for our next record-breaking achievement.      The Team Behind ‘The Billion Dollar Brits’ published first on https://theopuscondo.tumblr.com/