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goombasa · 2 months

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Getting Past My Own Terror When Trying New Things

So over the last couple of years, i've been trying several new hobbies.

A lot of them I ended up dropping not long after starting them, much to my shame.

Now I'm back to at least dabbling in a lot of them, chiefly trying to learn digital art (both vector and raster), dabbling in game design, and fiddling around with some DAWs and banging out some simple tunes. If I had the space, I would love to drag out my fabric scraps and take another go at sewing again. I've dropped and picked up all these different hobbies on and off again for like a decade, ever since leaving college, but I just never could keep up with them. I've pondered on why for a while. A part of it might just be me. I do have difficulty focusing on things from moment to moment, but I think it's something a bit deeper than that: I think it's because I'm terrified of failure, and that terror is really hard to get over.

I compare something like drawing, something that I've only really attempted to do since leaving college, and writing, something that I've been doing constantly since middle school. At this point, writing feels like second nature to me. It's something that I've trained since very early in my life, to the point where I don't even see it as a skill anymore, it's just a part of me, something that I do. Drawing though, I haven't done any serious attempts at art since I was required to back when I was in school. I didn't really do it beyond those required art classes, and only took an interest in trying to learn it after my time in the education system was over, and now, when I try to work on it, I'm easily frustrated by the fact that progress is slow. I get intimidated and frustrated, and not long after that, I end up putting it down and not touching it again for months on end until I muster up the courage to try again. As you can imagine, this hasn't led to me making much progress.

And therein lies the issue; I want to make progress, I want to get better, and create something I feel more comfortable with sharing with other people. But I'm terrified. I know I shouldn't be, but I am. Recently, I've taken to trying very, very hard to push past that terror, that mental block that keeps telling me that, due to the fact that I'm not instantly good at it and immediately making progress, that must mean I'll never get better at it and therefore should just quit while I'm ahead. It's an incredibly toxic mindset to have about myself and my own abilities, but no matter how many times I'm reminded that things like drawing are skills that need to be trained and fostered over long periods of time, my mind works against me to tell me that if I'm not making masterpieces after a month of taking a handful of free courses on Youtube, well then, obviously I'm never going to be good at it and I should stop trying.

I've mostly forgotten one of the most important parts of trying something new, especially if it's mostly just supposed to be for a hobby and not a professional skill, at least not in the near future: have fun with it. And that's something that I've been trying hard to force into my skull at this point. I shouldn't be forcing myself to learn a new skill if I'm not going to enjoy it. I want to learn to draw because I want to create in a new way, something that's unfamiliar to me. I shouldn't worry about whether it is good or not, I shouldn't worry about what other people think of it, but years of being exposed to the idea that if it isn't good enough to sell then it isn't good enough to show has made me very self conscious of my own creations. It's a bad time.

But I think this finally might be receding. I first noticed when I stopped constantly posting to youtube, putting out videos quickly in order to try and keep my channel relevant, that I just felt better. When I started to work on videos at my own pace, just work on them when I feel like it, no matter how shoddy they were, I felt happier with the end result because I didn't feel compelled to make them out of obligation or worry. I was having fun making things again.

And I have to apply that same sort of mentality to my new hobbies if I want to keep making progress. I want to get better, for my own satisfaction.

I'm curious if anyone else out there has had a similar sort of epiphany about their own hobbies. Have you experienced that feeling of just not feeling like you're progressing fast enough, or at all, even when you're new at something. Please, let me know, how'd you get over that hurdle, how'd you get past your own personal mind games and just enjoy the stuff that you do, the stuff that you make. I'm very interested to hear how others deal with this phenomenon.

#I used to think I was just lazy #But no #turns out I'm just terrified of failure #I'm doing my best to get over it #It's tough #but it's important #Try new things #Make something new #Test your limits

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mblue-art · 6 months

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from this fksjdfkfgb

#suggestive #lust!sans #lavender #skelesona #indigo #mblue art #shitpost #LN #(tagging it suggestive Just to be sure!!)#yeah um. what else do i say abt this HSBDJHSBD #my comfort ship is half Lust Sans ofc theyre going to be idiots and try out the (worse?) challenge #'hey sweetheart what's your limit?' - 'Uh-' - 'let's /test/ it' - 'WHAT' - ':)'#how bad can one month be /j #sorry for the suggestive content it will happen again

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spirit-lanterns · 3 months

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Constance stepping into the casino, making the building quiet down because member of Annihilation Gang stepped inside and their presence only result in bloodsh—

Why is this bunny cuddling up to her?

LMAOOOOO

Immediately everyone in the casino freezes. All the patrons are stiff, the bunny workers are quaking in their boots, the HSR women are on edge, your boss is about to piss herself, and—

Wait a min. The HSR women look around and realize you’re not sitting on Robin’s lap anymore. In fact, you’re…NUZZLING CONSTANCE OF THE ANNIHILATION GANG?!

SOMEHOW DESPITE THE MENACING AND DANGEROUS AURA THAT CONSTANCE GIVES OFF, Bunny Reader immediately scurries over to her, cotton tail wagging like crazy while she cuddles up to Constance like another one of her women. And of course, Constance is super smug about it as she stares at Black Swan specifically whilst patting your cute lil head 🥺

#🕯️spirit box #casino au #constance probably tests her limits by kissing you on the forehead too #and petting your ears

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fumifooms · 12 days

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"Marchil? I guess I can see it on Chilchuck’s end, but what about Marcille’s? What makes you think she could develop feelings for him?" I’m glad you asked!

The first thing to note is that she does think highly of him

In the page on the right, literally defending his virtues and literally comparing him to Dalclan. And oh…

She does love a brooding mysterious guy who closes himself to love. But surely, Chilchuck isn’t her type at all, right? He’s not princely or knightly at all. In apperances certainly not, both looks wise and demeanor wise, but then that’s why she seeks to know him on a deeper level, to not only look shallowly.

And hmm. Chilchuck really is quite selfless isn’t he? Always looking out for others, and saving specifically her often, always making sure himself and, staying in or even running towards danger for her sometimes. Modesty is often considered heroic…

And can we talk about that drowning one… You can definitely frame the special attention as him knowing she tends to hesitate or be clumsy, and then his insistance on pulling her out of danger that she’s the healer aka the most important to keep alive, but. From the one who says that he just keeps his ass out of fights and won’t help this is a lot of risk to take, and he does die trying to pull her to safety in the dungeon rabbits chapter. And the drowning bit??? That’s when the dungeon collapses. The only reason they DON’T die of drowning here is that the water then gives way to outside. There was NO hope of pulling her to safety here and resurrections would likely not work either, he truly preferred to die with her than try to survive himself.

Sit your ass back DOWN you are in no state, self-sacrifical hero much damn

And Marcille definitely noticed this imo, after all she loves learning all she can about him, remembering things like how he hates waiting on people too. She pays attention to him and what he does and what he says. This to say that it’s notable, whatever reason for it you may think (though we know by this point at least she was already aware he was an adult though it wasn’t internalized), out of everyone it’s Chilchuck’s bed that she wants to sleep in during the Golden Kingdom stay. He’s safe and comforting to her: dependable, the defining trait in her view of him as is shown by the relationship chart in the Adventurer’s Bible.

^ Lending handkerchiefs is a romance trope btw and handkerchiefs have irl history of being used for courting. Especially in old English literature and plays like Shakespeare’s Othello, and personally I do see a lot of Shakespeare in Dalclan (nobility political drama with some romance). There’s how his cowl is a dearly beloved souvenir from his family too, there’s a lot of aesthetic tropes you can apply to him.

All this to say you can 100% romanticize Chilchuck into a princely noble guy if you try and that’s exactly what Marcille does with the wife roleplay. She doesn’t need much in the first place, she latches onto crumbs and makes aesthetic narratives out of details, give her an inch she’ll take a mile.

But what’s interesting about the shift throughout the arc of her and his relationship is that she starts out idealizing him into a little angel of a kid (shapeshifter), and she ends it idealizing him as a virtuous husband and family man instead.

And what’s doubly interesting is that in the former, she’s actively warping who he is personality and demeanor wise to fit the aesthetic, he doesn’t have that bitter pride of not asking for help and the edges have been smoothened. But what she does during the wife roleplay is something else, she acknowledges the flaws and just… Accepts them, rolls with them. She’s aware of his flaws and implements them into the narrative, but the reason why his wife left doesn’t capitalize on them even, rather Chil is chilblivious and his wife loves him very much still, she’s just testing him after having had a night of feeling out of place at his side.

And this is what separated the idealization vs romanticization, she’s not twisting him into someone else she’s just uplifting what he is and focusing on the good sides.

Marcille: "he has a shitty personality sometimes but if he was my husband I’d still cherish him" "If I were your wife I’d be overjoyed to go out with you and would get myself prettied up while you complain about me taking a long time, your friends would tell me that I’m nice and that’d make me happy, but I’d also be sad because you wouldn’t tell me that you love me enough"

He’s angry and his wife left him, he’s *flawed*, but he’s still worth hyping up, still worth having his own romance story, still has a shot of winning back his beloved. She sees him for what he is, human and real and not a carefully scripted character that fits an aesthetic, and she thinks it’s still worthy of love and admiration and fighting for

And what’s funny too is that you might expect her to cool down on him once she learns more about him but actually she only gets increasingly into his business. You tell her your age and next thing you know you promise to introduce her to your family. Give her an inch she takes a mile. And too the thing is, Senshi is equally mysterious but she doesn’t pester him like at all, asks him ONCE about his succubus and he doesn’t even answer and that’s like… It. With Chilchuck it starts off innocently enough with her wanting to know his age, hometown, the stuff she mentions having asked pre-canon. But it just keeps and keeps going and escalating. Think she’ll be satisfied now knowing you have a wife and kids, maybe she’s disillusioned now? Wrong! She wants to know their names and ages and occupations and hey how did you propose to your wife? Do you think she’ll stop after meeting them? What’s next? What will she want to know next????

She’s… Like it’s not a reach that Marcille is all over him. Like it doesn’t mean it’s romantic but she just is. She is not normal about him idk. Can you not ask him about what tongue technique he used when first kissing his wife, give the man breathing room

Marcille could literally go "if I was Chilchuck’s wife" having deeply thought out the hypothetical and people would still ask where anyone sees any romantic potential between them. Oh wait

There’s a platonic explanation for everything (almost?) in Dungeon Meshi don’t say I’m saying otherwise, but it’s definitely not like there’s nothing here to read into lol

Going off a bit more under read bc it’s my fave topic

Marcille has a whole theme with the charming prince trope with her idealization and storybook motif and Chil is kinda the "Well someone perfect like that isn’t very realistic and romance is usually more complex and that’s ok and good and flawed people can still be ✨virtuous✨" catalyst

Do you see do you see she starts canon thinking the most romantic thing is a prince charming but her arc in the end has her romanticizing an average, flawed, real and realistic family man, who’s on the poorer side and is on the verge of divorce. And that’s what he needed, too, seeing the positive of himself and the situation instead of focusing on the negative is explicitly what inspires him to hope that he might be able to reconcile with his wife, gives him the courage and self-esteem to shoot his shot.

He IS a prince figure instead that now it’s not about idealizing the grand and overt it’s about romanticizing the small things in real life!! About finding joy and beauty in things that seem normal or mundane and uplifting them to make the world feel kinder!!!!

He’s the devoted virtuous man that she wantsss not the storybook prince that’s unrealistic and could crumble like a script at any time. He’s the perfect example of a flawed realistic but virtuous & devoted & loving man. Far from a prince charming, but not fully detached from it either. Something worth fighting for despite the flawed cracks. Like literally, flawed romance being worth fighting for is literally the finale of Chilchuck and Marcille’s arc on the matter, where their separate arcs and issues intersect at the most crucial moment.

Marcille is important to Chil’s arc not only because of her optimism, but also because of her interest and knowledge in romance & matters of the heart, and that’s what he needs to both open his heart up to hope and to try to reconcile with his wife, like idk sounds gay

Their arc together is literally learning to 1) see each other for how they are and not undermining their qualities capacities etc etc while still not leaving flaws unchecked either and 2) opening up to people. Marcille LITERALLY makes Chil open his heart up to hope like idk man. What do you want from me. He’s literally the guy helping her through deconstructing novels and fantasy and rose tinted glasses and like. Deconstructing the prince charming figure into something more real but still romantically beautiful like KUI KUI STOOOOP STOP I’M ALREADY HOOKED I’M ALREADY-

Ok fine that’s me reading into the tropes too much forgive me for being storybook brained but like. Speaking his heart out to a lone woman on a balcony, Romeo and Juliette shit, asking if she, too, doesn’t want to meet his family, madly blushing. And like she’s learned with Chilchuck it’s all in the little things, all the implications he cannot speak aloud. She does reciprocate, does blush madly back, and the first thing she does is shower him in flowers and jewelry and what in her heart is coded as romantic gifts

A lady, stashed away in a high tower by her lonesome, waiting for someone to call out to her from below… Romeo courting type shit with an offer, a heartfelt spiel, implicit confession from underneath her balcony. Offering him flowers because he succeeded in calling out to her heart…….. And they have to climb to her too…. Crazy

Doesn’t it sound like a proposal. One that’s both so storybook-like and not, contrastedly real and grounded, all about the implications rather than in your face grand gestures, "Don’t you want to meet my family?". They literally have an arc about the topic of romance and this is the climax/pinnacle of it like god?? This is @ the woman who said "Chilchuck is a shy/bashful man so I know he wouldn’t tell me he loves me, but…" btw

To quote a friend, truly the shiny secret unlockable dating sim capture target : THE DUNGEON LORD BIT WAS SO FUNNY BECAUSE HE KNEW SHE'D TAKE IT HOOK LINE AND SINKER HES THE ONE WHO GOT HER TO TURN AROUND COMPLETELY SHES LIKE. WIDE EYED FLAG RAISED???? FLAG RAISED WITH CHILCHUCK 👀👀👀‼️👀👀‼️👀

And the way that this is the culmination of their arc together… Like people are not ready for the ‘Chil calling out to dunlord Marcille on the balcony has Romeo and Juliette romance novels imagery’ take. Or the ‘their arc is about growing to see beauty even in the non-idealized, in the flawed and in the real’ take which makes it so so perfect if she were to lower her ideal from a charming elven prince to a virtuous halfling man (which she does end up romanticizing)

So there, you got to witness in real time what happens when I think about marchil for longer than 2 minutes, there are so many layers it’s a deranged rabbithole. I saw the necronomicon of subtext and it’s driving me to madness with forbidden knowledge that no one else sees

……. Like what if I told you she implicitly picked Chilchuck over a "unrealistic prince charming who’s actually disingenuous" much earlier in the story already. If she was given the choice to think through going with a guy that seems perfect and chivalrous like her succubus she’d pick Chilchuck over the other actually. If I sound insane rn tune in for my full analysis on them coming this month hopefully thank youu. Interwoven arcs of fantasy vs reality and idealization vs pessimism I love youuu

So now you know the general thesis of my planned analysis about the importance of the prince charming figure in Marcille and Chilchuck’s arc, where she romanticizes things to a sometimes worrying degree or idealize people into something easy and digestible and poetic (like Chil being a kid, and then him being a virtuous ��✨✨husband), and how she needs to value aesthetics less and actual acts and facts more, be more grounded (like seeing people for what they are flaws and all, and accepting that people need money and not pulling through on principles of honor or unity shouldn’t get Namari shamed) and a part of that is accepting that Chilchuck is BOTH flawed and virtuous, a loving husband that still has shitty moods and fumbled his marriage so bad etc etc. So it’s like, her image of perfect prince charming that will whisk you away on an ethereal romance -> realistic flawed middle aged dad with personality issues and a failing marriage but he still is worthy of love and having his cute grand romance story and his happy ending. Ik I keep repeating the same point through this but I need it to be burned into everyone’s brains it has its grip on me I can’t do this. They are so special……

#Someone did ask (on discord) btw i’m not just being a smartass though I do love being that too #This is stuff I cover in my upcoming marcille & chil arc analysis except here I can go full romo and don’t keep the strictly platonic angle #It’s at like 15k words rn I think. The 30 pics limit is killing me which is why I started asking my friend to do collages of panels for me #Sob #I keep alternating between it and the Falin analysis save me. Should be dropping soon idk i might test out having a beta reader for that on #Marchil foreplay is 2 years of being coworkers and slowly worming personal questions out of him until he blinks and she has #A key to your house #Dungeon meshi #marchil #marcille donato #chilchuck tims #like they’re so so funny look at this shit. Nonconsensual romanticizing of you as a person. Obsessive interest in your personal life #She’s latched so hard onto the “mystery” of him they’re deranged #MAYBE ITS ALL COMPROMISES MAYBE ITS ALL SWEET INBETWEENS <3 #maybe we'll take our vision of what we thought we could be and make something new together. something for just us #Fumi rambles #Mann Marcille’s ‘idealizing him into liking him even for all his flaws bc his personality is often kinda shitty’ arc’#and Chilchuck’s ‘prejudice against elves and mages and optimism into respect and trust’ arc are everything to me #Meta #Spoilers #Dungeon meshi manga spoilers #Tagged this so late oops

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liesmyth · 4 months

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by the way. there's no conceivable universe in which the FTL fleet that left Earth in NtN didn't have it incredibly rough.

I've said this before, but it bears reminding: they jumped blind, using untested technology, with NO supply lines back to earth and no concrete plans for a colony. they took ships that were supposed to stack 11 billion people canned in like sardines and nothing else and stocked them full with enough resources to live on for generations and somehow found a settlement, and that was before they had to rush the schedule because John was making noise about transparency and mask their actual launch as a trial run.

it wasn't a comfortable journey. I'd be very, very surprised if the total passenger count was higher than 10k people, for space/resources allocation reasons as well as for secrecy reasons. Every person on board was a mouth to feed, and their descendants, and their descendants. I've seen some people in fandom say stuff like "Of course they'd bring along servants! Rich wouldn't do chores!" and IMO that fundamentally misses the point.

This wasn't the space equivalent of a cruise liner, or the Titanic crossing the Atlantic with first-class quarters and third-class decks. This is the space equivalent of climate refugees crammed in 500 in a tiny fishboat crossing the sea with a non-insignificant chance of dying en route, after emptying their savings to pay for the trip. The fact that the people on board the FTL ships were once insanely rich doesn't mean they travelled in comfort.

This was a desperate last-chance trip, destination "anywhere but here", chances of survival unknown. Their privilege got them on the ships, but the moment they left Earth, that privilege ceased to exist; there was no way to enforce an existing social structure. This is why, again, I think there were no luxuries on board and absolutely definitely no servants - if you're about to willingly enter into complete social collapse, you don't WANT to bring people you regard as less than yourself, knowing that they will be your equals tomorrow.

I'm still convinced that half the fleet at least didn't make it out, and those who managed to found settlements were nearly wiped out multiple times at different points in history.

#this was brought to you bc of that post this morning about whether there would be pets on the ship. my answer is: not for long #anyway. john calls them soon to be impoverished trillionaires. giving away cash bc it wasn't worth anything anymore in their eyes #we know 200 people on those ships were randomly selected as a smokescreen after john started making noise #we KNOW M- said that absolutely everyone else on the ship had bought a ticket or been useful to the project #you cannot conduct a large scale migration and mask it as a random test.#you can't keep that level of secrecy if you involve people who aren't in your exclusive circle #living people + supplies take up SO MUCH more space than canned bodies people #I'm putting the whole fleet estimate as 10k-12k MAX people and absolutely no menial workers lol #yes the trillionaires will wash the dishes if it means not sharing their limited oxygen with their nanny who could mutiny any day now #ftl fleet #nona reread #sort of i HAVENìT officially started but #tlt thoughts #elle tlt posting #tlt

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dnickels · 7 months

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Oooooo these nasty insurrectionists tied me up sooooo tight...if only a big handsome and horribly wicked disgraced mayor was here to see when I'm all degraded-- WAIT FOR REAL?

#les mis letters #feels superfluous to even joke about it #but Javert limiting himself to a simple Oh Word? really does make it #its very Dreaming About Flunking a Math Test In Your Underwear #God once again pantses his strongest soldier in front of his fourth grade bullies

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xovozumi · 11 days

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please do not . the deathclaws,, they are just animals.. critters even,,

#fallout #fallout 2 #fo2 #fallout 3 #fo3 #fallout new vegas #fnv #fallout 4 #fo4 #deathclaw #deathclaw fallout #fallout deathclaw #know your limits #they don't even pass the harkness test #which isnt a good test in the first place #except the intelligent ones #from fallout 2 #but thats still pushing it #at least specify youre into anthro

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arvoze · 7 months

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would you like to learn about what's in my head.

#pokemon #pokemon mystery dungeon #cacturne #nuzleaf #breloom #not tagging the other 2 its literally pngs #keith #luwel #mike #this is pre-luwels-retirement btw (you know when that happens bc he changes coats)#(he has a black/green coat when hes still in the team bc its just what the team wears)#the RTA have an annual(? maybe) “event” wherein like. teams get put through tests #to determine if they deserve to keep their current rescue rank or not #(it only applies to a certain rank or higher)#you get like. monitored and stuff. youre put through situations to test u and all that #it's not the best system in the world by any means because some of the RTA will deliberately screw you over #like sometims you are pushed to your absolute LIMITS as a means to prove a point and thats wht happens 2 the guys #they reach a certain point and then have to deal w/ a volcanic rescue which is deliberately set up for them to fail #specifically as a means to be like Well that's what you get for beign 3 grass types #it is. challenging. they reach the rescue. a deliberately-placed like. trap or whatever is there #and it's mutually agreed for mike to take the rescue away to safety bc that's the priority #the other 2 still have to complete the exploration....................... tags r long i cant say any more

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teabutmakeitazure · 1 year

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But what if Chrollo's darling is just happy someone is paying attention to them?

Like, yea, u did just kidnap them, but they dont care. They just wanna cuddle and watch Bluey bc its a show bragging about the perfect childhood they never got. "I know you just kidnapped me, but....Your interest in me is...confusing, but I still appreciate it. Unless that makes me less interesting, then I'm sorry for disappointing you like everyone else :( "

Chrollo is a greedy man. Even if he has your surrender, he wants more. There is no satisfying him

From what he had inferred from your personality and relationships, Chrollo had concluded that you would give him a hard time. He was fully prepared to have to deal with you screaming or constantly trying to get under his skin simply in the hope that he grows tired of you and lets you go, but you were the completely opposite. Imagine his surprise when you only keep your distance, watching him like some sort of animal documentary, silently and attentively

Some time passes and like all humans, you adapt to your new life. Chrollo gets bolder with his advances as well. He attempts to show his fondness through physical contact. Because of that, you were often on the receiving end of a hand leisurely resting on your shoulder, fingers brushing against your own, and a warm palm often times rubbing up and down your back or arms. You never flinched or denied them. Again, you only watched them with some sort of curiosity

That is one of the main reasons why he had never needed to use any psychological tactics on you. Whatever he gave, you took. However he treated you, you didn't complain

In fact, it only perplexed him further when you acknowledged his interest in you, when you explicitly stated that the way he watches you and tests your limits is confusing yet never complained. It may be counter intuitive to him, but that isn't what matters. What matters is how much he wants to take from you and how much you will give with no retaliation

#it turns into a game of testing your limits #he wants to see to what extent you will give n #how much you would be willing to give #perhaps your upbringing wasnt so well but he can help that #all you need is love right?#chrollo brainrot

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yamada-ryo · 11 months

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A second gravel has hit the blog

#GIRL YOURE GONNA MAKE ME HIT POST LIMIT #test #ask

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sneezemonster15 · 1 year

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I usually write long shit overexplaining things but imma be brief for once.

I am so tired of the 'Sasuke and Naruto are brothers or friends' debate.

They are gay and in love. This media is gay. Full stop. Period. Just get with it or get lost.

#i am sorry i can't give two shits anymore about fans' deliberate dismissal and ignorance of Sasuke and Natuto's unique relationship #like if this story doesnt even make you question your preconceived notions about gay narratives and its portrayal in media #and you still deny everything in the story simply because of your limited view of the world #and you can't even be curious about it or doubt your understanding of the story in the face of such clear nuance #then i am sorry but you have failed the litmus test #you will pass away one day but SNS is here to stay #it will keep inspiring tons if fans such as me #and you will become more outdated than ever and SNS will stay on still being relevant #nothing you can do about it #but you can learn about it #i hope you do #sns #sasunaru #narusasu #sasuke #naruto #uzumaki naruto #uchiha sasuke

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essektheylyss · 2 years

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Honestly, the way Aabria talks about Laerryn making out with the entire Ring of Brass just makes me think, as I have often, that it is well past time this fandom actually acknowledged that the people building and playing in Exandria as a world are not conceptualizing it as one in which (to use a colloquialism, but it extends also to gender as well as sexuality) straight is the default.

People have been saying for years that it would be fantastic if fantasy worldbuilding actually acknowledged how ridiculous it is to have magical worlds with shapechangers and transmutation in which hetero- and amato- and cisnormativity are still the norm. Yet it feels like fandom still wants to apply that lens to a world that has not operated as such for quite a while, even if it may have started out as such simply because the creator(s) had not yet interrogated it.

I think a lot of the discussion about queer characters in Critical Role would be simpler if we approached it from the understanding that there often isn't a reason for sexuality or gender to be an issue in Exandria, and the isolated incidents where it might cause conflict narratively are not operating under the basis that that prejudice exists structurally. This has been how Matt has discussed many cultures there, how Aabria seems to approach both worldbuilding and character creation, and honestly how most if not all of the players have increasingly seemed to respond to the world—with an assumption that the most common way this could come up in gameplay, flirting with other characters, is not going to be met with any hostility on the basis of perceived sexuality or gender, either within the cast or in the world.

This is, I think, important to recognize as a fandom, because if we don't, we're going to unwittingly continue to reintroduce these same insidious real-world structures into a setting that gives the impression of having been deliberately crafted and expanded over time to imagine a world without them.

#like. even tary was not inherently fighting homophobia he was fighting an unwanted arranged marriage.#beau was fighting a host of parental expectations even though she predominantly did fall into her father's wish for a son.#it was simply that because of his obsessions *nothing and no one* was ever good enough. not only beau for being a girl.#like these are things that can still exist! they just do not exist *structurally*.#you can still have conflict with roles and duties even if those are confined to what your parent wants for you.#it doesn't mean those things are structural. many people can have limited imaginations without society imposing strictures.#critical role #cr meta #and frankly. yes this does extend to #'player has to repeatedly specify that a character isn't straight despite that already being present in the text.'#this is rebloggable for now but i will rescind that if people test me.

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