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withdrawingramen · 16 days

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cw: implied long-term captivity & torture, loss of identity post captivity, change in the world view

whumpee always thought that in the entirety of the fucked up world, there was some good. someone will sympathize, someone would stand up against wrong, and communities inherently stick with each other, and they'd be a part of the world in some way or the other. but within the duration of all their torture and after being taken out of whumper's grasp, this belief starts to feel more and more alien.

more so when they recall how whumper laughed in their face as they begged to be let go, how whumper's fingers curled in their hair as their half-conscious figure failed to stay awake, and through all the delirium and pain they'd hear every single day; "nobody's coming for you. you'll leave only once i'm bored."

more so when they stare at their clothes churning in the washing machine, when the random stranger in the local laundry noticed them struggling and helped turn the machine on, wondering how such a mundane task required assistance. or when seemingly kind wishes for recovery seem to be forced, attempts at common courtesy disguised as concern. and when they realize they can't remember how to even cook their own favorite recipes anymore, let alone eat without throwing up, or remember how to change the wheels of their bike they cherished so much, or how the tune of that one song went, what their loved ones liked, or how it felt to be a person, they lose a part of themselves they didn't realize they'd been clinging on to.

nothing felt like theirs to choose. whumpee was nothing but remnants of pain, an unfeeling being made of ideals thrust upon them. and it didn't seem to bother those around them. their neighbour down the street still went to work, the university student next door would still blast loud music deep into the night, and whumper would still linger in their head.

and as whumpee gazes at the reflection of their pale, bruised and marred skin in front of the mirror of some random shop, the harsh realization of it all dawns upon them that they were nobody right now, and they didn't know if they even existed before it all. they were nobody without pain. it didn't matter to them, it didn't matter to anyone else. they knew nothing about what it was to be free anymore, and oh, oh does the world truly move on around them regardless

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kimdokjas · 11 days

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though the movie might be cancelled, yuri on ice will live forever in our hearts. thank you yoi fandom, it's been real ♡

#yuri on ice #yoiedit #yoi #victuuri #ice adolescence #anime gif #*gifs #animangahive #dailyshounenai #userkarura #usergojoana #userhanyi #useralphonse #usertorichi #usermoonz #usericybtch #userheidi #usergokalp #userartless #homuras #himawaari #this is not goodbye this is still my house!!!#devastated but not surprised tbh but i still wanted to channel my emotions somehow and just. express how much this show means to me so here #this thank you goes out to u guys. the fandom #mappa can eat a brick btw <3 #god i wish i could articulate just how special yoi is to me #it truly resonated with me like very few other pieces of media have (i can count them with one hand in fact)#it was sooooo revolutionary and ahead of its time not just in terms of queerness but also in terms of mental health #it truly changed me as a person and i just. really appreciate how earnest and kind it was above all #thank you yoi. you will be a part of me forever <3

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quelfabulous · 7 months

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"We don't need to do anything. We can just be."

Happy bi/pan visibility day (it's everyday for me). Also a sprinkle of ace and a dash of survivor and to top it all off- other expressions of intimacy, affection & connection taken seriously. I'm doing an Astarion origin playthrough and I ship him with Karlach like FedEx, your honor.

#bg3 fanart #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 spoilers #illustration #karlach #astarion #tbh they make hella nice platonic friends that also just like cuddles #astarion being a cat and not admitting it right away until he feels safe to just be #artists on tumblr #cuddles #original art #digital art #astarion x karlach #karlach x astarion #icyhot #black cat golden retriever

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must-be-mr-boggins · 1 month

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Taking a 5-second break from the Bagginshield angst to bring you this meme I created after an all-nighter, enjoy.

#lotr #lord of the rings #aragorn #books #movies #tolkien #what about second breakfast #like yeah girl what ABOUT it #I’m both parties in this scenario tbh #sorry if this has been done before #I’m just a girl #a girl running on 3 hours of sleep

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inkskinned · 2 years

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fucking hate it when the stuff everybody says "actually works" does actually work.

hate exercising and realizing i've let go of a lot of anxiety and anger because i've overturned my fight-or-flight response.

hate eating right and eating enough and eating 3 times a day and realizing i'm less anxious and i have more energy

hate journaling in my stupid notebook with my stupid bic ballpoint and realizing that i've actually started healing about something once i'm able to externalize it

hate forgiving myself hate complimenting myself more often hate treating myself with kindness hate taking a gratitude inventory hate having patience hate talking to myself gently

hate turning my little face up to the sun and taking deep breaths and looking at nature and grounding myself and realizing that i feel less burdened and more hopeful, more actually-here, that i am able to see the good sides of myself more clearly, that i am able to see not only how far i have to grow - but also how much growth i have already done & how much of my life i truly fill with light and laughter and love

horrible horrible horrible. hate it but i'm gonna do it tho

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snarkspawn · 3 months

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Mr Dekarios please stop daydreaming

#baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #bg3 fanart #gale of waterdeep #gale dekarios #tara the tressym #stuff and things #userpharawee #this was mostly just an excuse to draw tara tbh

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beybuniki · 12 days

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they should go on a fishing trip pt.1

#DONT COMMENT ON THE BACKGROUND I KNOWWWWWWWWWWWW #anyway this is day 1. they take a bus. the bakugo household has fishing gear so ´deku is wearing bakugo's onesoe (?) and bakugo is wearing #his dad's. and notices he has grown :')#anyway they take a BUS and don't feel like doing this at all it's awkward for so many reason #also trying to relax after everything is neurologically just really hard they might be hyperivgilant dik #and there's so much they never got to unpack bnut they have to and they have to start somewhere and with someone #deku makes that flower crown while bakugo preps everything and they both look at it and are thrown back into their childhood 🧍‍♀️🧍‍♀️🧍‍♀️#and at first they just sit and wait for the bavarian fish to bite (rody should make a cameo tbh) but then bakugo breaks the iceeee.#and he starts with their moms because their moms have been such a stubbron connection between these two :')#and deku answers with the usual 'good :) how's your mom :)?' and to everyone's surprise he actually opens up #and tells deku about his mom's insomnia because she watched her son die (that shit was live streamed tpo 10 bnha tweets btw)#idk i love to think of their moms being a very easy subject to connect through i think it's easier for them that way to be more vulnerablei #and then some fish biteeeeeeeeeeee #but like 3 small ones so they have to gather berries and mushrooms and make stew (dw there's an aldi this is bavaria after all)#but yeah day 1 is a bit weird like it's just them in the woods with no distractions #which is so different from whatever went on during their 1st year of high school #don't read this i will throw up i just need this somewhere this is my public scrapbook #bnha #deku #midoriya izuku #bakugo katsuki #the flower crown on their knees makes this a bit homosexual but fishing is always homosexual im not fighting against that #au:#fishing

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megalomari · 2 months

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Astarion is living his best life, finally free!

The paladin broke his oath.

This ain't about him.

#Baldur's Gate 3 #BG3 #Astarion #Gale #Halsin #Oathbreaker #Oathbreaker Knight #BG3 Tav #Cephas the Tav #tbh i didn't know much about paladins and just chose at random bc i wanted the multiclass achievement #and his paladin oath lasted literally one fight LMAO #first cephas post!! and he's suffering hah #ALSO the oathbreaker knight? SMASH

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gingiekittycat · 4 months

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I know we as a fandom are kind of going with a hyper-masculine bearded Aziraphale for his Supreme Archangel look (which I am loving btw), but consider instead:

Aziraphale bringing that 1793 frilly lace-sleeved pink patent leather-shoed mascara-wearing gayer than gay energy to the look

Reprising his most successful damsel in distress temptation in another attempt to get Crowley to come to Heaven

Idk he might actually succeed...

#tbh this is just a petition to have the makeup department make Michael Sheen this pretty for the entirety of season 3 #HE IS SO PRETTY #Good omens #Good omens 2 #Good omens 3 speculation #Aziraphale #Ineffable husbands #aziracrow

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porrigens · 2 months

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pegoryu valentine :3

#p5 #persona 5 #persona 5 royal #ryuji sakamoto #sakamoto ryuji #pegoryu #persona 5 protagonist #akira kurusu #ren amamiya #i made this last year LOL #sorry for not posting </3 i forget #idk when i'll post again</3 #but beleive in me ... please.... its all i have...#i just finished a big assignment in uni im so tired #i typed 5000 words in two hours #anyways i like pegoryu ryuji would bounce his leg when hes nervous #i need to replay p5 games at some point tbh the motivation isn't there for p5 anymore sad emoji

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blluespirit · 3 months

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there are so many amazing and powerful benders in atla but what i love about zuko is that whether or not he can use his bending in that moment has zero (0) bearing on how much he’s going to absolutely kick your ass. no bending? that’s fine - he’s got swords. no swords or bending? that’s fine - he’s literally just going to beat you up. if you’re REALLY unlucky then you get all three. as a treat.

#like he’s surrounded by these amazing benders.#azula who’s a prodigy #the literal avatar #katara who mastered water bending in like -3 days #(literally iconic of her tbh)#and zuko IS a great firebender (his abilities as a firebender improve as his story progresses)#but it just absolutely cracks me up when i remember zuko will just. not use his bending sometimes #anyway zuko alone fight was special bc he really said i will use all three bc ur special 🤭#zuko #avatar the last airbender #avatar: the last airbender #atla #jack talks #where’s that post that’s like zuko is a prodigy but his special skill is breaking and entering and he can’t tell anyone about that

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chloesimaginationthings · 4 months

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Michael Afton’s awkward family reunion in FNAF 3,,

#myart #chloesimagination #comic #michael afton #springtrap #william afton #fnaf #fnaf 3 #fazbear frights #five nights at freddy's #spiderverse #itsv #Yknow how crazy fnaf 3 is in retrospect #just a dad and his son meeting up again face to face after X number of years #Michael has not been called his og name in forever so cut him some slack here #just so funny thinking springtrap jumpscaring himself #when recognizing the night guard is his son #tbh probably make him want to end him more 💀#spiderverse mentioned 🔥

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junotter · 8 months

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in-between moments

#tenrose #timepetals #rose tyler #tenth doctor #10th doctor #doctor who #doctor who fanart #dw fanart #my art #shes texting jackie whos currently having a hair EMERGENCY #i just wanted to draw rose in some of my own outfits tbh....#holy shit hes reading AN EMPTY BOOK(/j)#rn my daily routine is study for 9 hours while watching doctor who and then drawing tenrose fanart for 3 hours after

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mourninglamby · 1 year

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emerald trio for a change

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soosoosoup · 1 month

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Fluffy rearing

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inkskinned · 10 months

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so one of the things that's so horrifying about birth control is that you have to, like, navigate this incredibly personal choice about your body and yet also face the epitome of misogyny. like, someone in the comments will say it wasn't that bad for me, and you'll be utterly silenced. like, everyone treats birth control like something that's super dirty. like, you have no fucking information or control over this thing because certain powerful people find it icky.

first it was the oral contraceptives. you went on those young, mostly for reasons unrelated to birth control - even your dermatologist suggested them to control your acne. the list of side effects was longer than your arm, and you just stared at it, horrified.

it made you so mentally ill, but you just heard that this was adulthood. that, yes, there are of course side effects, what did you expect. one day you looked up yasmin makes me depressed because surely this was far too intense, and you discovered that over 12,000 lawsuits had been successfully filed against the brand. it remains commonly prescribed on the open market. you switched brands a few times before oral contraceptives stopped being in any way effective. your doctor just, like, shrugged and said you could try a different brand again.

and the thing is that you're a feminist. you know from your own experience that birth control can be lifesaving, and that even when used for birth control - it is necessary healthcare. you have seen it save so many people from such bad situations, yourself included. it is critical that any person has access to birth control, and you would never suggest that we just get rid of all of it.

you were a little skeeved out by the implant (heard too many bad stories about it) and figured - okay, iud. it was some of the worst pain you've ever fucking experienced, and you did it with a small number of tylenol in your system (3), like you were getting your bikini line waxed instead of something practically sewn into your body.

and what's wild is that because sometimes it isn't a painful insertion process, it is vanishingly rare to find a doctor that will actually numb the area. while your doctor was talking to you about which brand to choose, you were thinking about the other ways you've been injured in your life. you thought about how you had a suspicious mole frozen off - something so small and easy - and how they'd numbed a huge area. you thought about when you broke your wrist and didn't actually notice, because you'd thought it was a sprain.

your understanding of pain is that how the human body responds to injury doesn't always relate to the actual pain tolerance of the person - it's more about how lucky that person is physically. maybe they broke it in a perfect way. maybe they happened to get hurt in a place without a lot of nerve endings. some people can handle a broken femur but crumble under a sore tooth. there's no true way to predict how "much" something actually hurts.

in no other situation would it be appropriate for doctors to ignore pain. just because someone can break their wrist and not feel it doesn't mean no one should receive pain meds for a broken wrist. it just means that particular person was lucky about it. it should not define treatment.

in the comments of videos about IUDs, literally thousands of people report agony. blinding, nauseating, soul-crushing agony. they say things like i had 2 kids and this was the worst thing i ever experienced or i literally have a tattoo on my ribs and it felt like a tickle. this thing almost killed me or would rather run into traffic than ever feel that again.

so it's either true that every single person who reports severe pain is exaggerating. or it's true that it's far more likely you will experience pain, rather than "just a pinch." and yet - there's nothing fucking been done about it. it kind of feels like a shrug is layered on top of everything - since technically it's elective, isn't it kind of your fault for agreeing to select it? stop being fearmongering. stop being defensive.

you fucking needed yours. you are almost weirdly protective of it. yours was so important for your physical and mental health. it helped you off hormonal birth control and even started helping some of your symptoms. it still fucking hurt for no fucking reason.

once while recovering from surgery, they offered you like 15 days of vicodin. you only took 2 of them. you've been offered oxy for tonsillitis. you turned down opioids while recovering from your wisdom tooth extraction. everything else has the option. you fucking drove yourself home after it, shocked and quietly weeping, feeling like something very bad had just happened. the nurse that held your hand during the experience looked down at you, tears in her eyes, and said - i know. this is cruelty in action.

and it's fucked up because the conversation is never just "hey, so the way we are doing this is fucking barbaric and doctors should be required to offer serious pain meds" - it's usually something around the lines of "well, it didn't kill you, did it?"

you just found out that removing that little bitch will hurt just as bad. a little pinch like how oral contraceptives have "some" serious symptoms. like your life and pain are expendable or not really important. like maybe we are all hysterical about it?

hysteria comes from the latin word for uterus, which is great!

you stand here at a crossroads. like - this thing is so important. did they really have to make it so fucking dangerous. and why is it that if you make a complaint, you're told - i didn't even want you to have this in the first place. we're told be careful what you wish for. we're told that it's our fault for wanting something so illict; we could simply choose not to need medication. that maybe if we don't like the scraps, we should get ready to starve.

we have been saying for so long - "i'm not asking you to remove the option, i'm asking you to reconsider the risk." this entire time we hear: well, this is what you wanted, isn't it?

#where's the word woman in this u might wonder if u suck #good news i am nonbinary and have a uterus so that is something that can happen #im also gender fluid tho which means im immune to certain psychic damage bc if u call me a woman i'll be like <3 okay <3 #writeblr #the tightrope of ''ppl need access to this''#and like also #''what the fuck is going on over there'' is like. so difficult as an activist #i was <3 punctured <3 during mine #and almost bled out on the table :) they didn't have anyone standing by bc it's ''just a little insertion''#so i started crashing and i vaguely remember apologizing for the fuss as i heard my heart rate monitor start going <3 tachycardic <3 #she wasn't even a bad doctor tbh #ps btw the reason i even HAD a heart monitor is that i have a genuine heart condition and they knew GOING IN that there was a chance #i'd crash on the table #like my heart just likes to do fun little tricks and <3 stop working <3 (i do not want to discuss the specifics ty i am okay im ontop of it #and they were like 'oh u will be fine' and then she did do a puncture thru my uterus . pop!#and im sitting there dizzy and feeling my heartrate start to drop bc it feels almost. beautiful. like. the whole ground just #woosh! out from under you. and shit is like grey's anatomy. i'm looking up at her grey eyes #she's old she wears this nice shawl she's like got Cool Lesbian vibes and people are sprinting into the room #from other parts of the clinic unrelated to me. while the monitor is like a little aria singing #and shes like hey youre okay stay awake stay with me something went wrong we have to keep trying #and i remember thinking - i was trying to think of nice things. i have so many beautiful places that now overlap #with this terrible memory #i became dimly aware that there was too much on her wrists and hands. like #that was too many liters #and then when they had finished all this. i packed up and drove myself home #i have had (bad thing) happen to me. and the same feeling happened after #that numb almost lamblike bleating. you cry without noise. like. ur body is so shocked and ur mind so empty #you just stare at the road and everything everything is happening behind glass and static and you are standing so far away from it #while you hold ur hands at 10 and 2. and something in ur brain is SCREAMING at you - IT WAS BAD AND IT SHOULDNT HAVE HAPPENED #and ur just watching the alarms in your body going off and youre thinking. a little pinch! ha. i think i just lost something important.

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