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#tavin
natty-tuning-in · 6 months
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Ok. this isn't sexual. it's anatomy. but
did I ever mentioned that tavin is intersex on here. like he identifies as a guy but not a single gender label (he is not a cis man or a trans man but a secret third man) because he has female genitalia and is very androgynous but he has testicles where the ovaries would be so his body produced more testosterone during puberty and he developed as a boy
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oatvy · 2 months
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Url Song Game
O - Over Now - Post Malone
A - Another Way - Sleep Theory
T - Take What You Want - Post Malone
V - Voices In My Head - Falling In Reverse
Y - You Kids Wanna See a Dead Body? - Do not Resurrect
@gleamer DO IT.
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morelikebaldursgay · 7 months
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I made another BG3 character. I needed to get to know Minthara so that I could better write her in my playthrough fic, The Weeping Dawn (I have a whole explanation for how she survives the ambush at the grove and joins Dirge's party). I really wanted to get the whole party, though, and also I would feel bad, so I definitely couldn't raid the grove. Thus, I needed to come up with a character who was selfish and survival-focused enough to go to the Mountain Pass without taking a side in the goblin-grove conflict.
And thus, Tavin (birth name Tsab'erin, meaning "advisor/counselor to the abyss/empty/void" (i.e. advisor to no-one/listened to by no-one) in Drow) was born.
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(He was supposed to be a cis guy but all of the elf body 2 and 4 faces look godawful, so I guess he has tits now. We'll see what's canon as I get to know him better.)
One thing about Lolth-sworn Drow/Udadrow is that they fucking hate sorcerers, especially wild magic sorcerers, for cultural reasons, and drow with them--especially men--are often killed once their abilities are discovered. So, when Tavin discovered his abilities in puberty, he ran into the wilds of the Underdark (hence his Outlander background) to have a better chance at survival (which he did, although not unscathed--his facial scar is from a torchstalk explosion, and he also has a lot of trauma).
Tavin is absolutely obsessed with survival, and would do literally anything to stay alive. He has a very "put your air mask on before others" mentality, which is fine except his trauma has made him unable to feel like his mask is secure. He literally would never have saved Shadowheart from her pod if a) he didn't love magic and doing shit with it so goddamn much, and it turns out sorcerers can just use magic to unlock the pod and b) it wasn't as quick and easy as it was.
My current idea with him is that he'll recruit all the core Companions, do the Risen Road quests because they're on the way, do some shit in the Blighted Village because I love that fucked up book, go with Sazza to the Goblin Camp, leave for the Mountain Pass after realizing they can't help him, and eventually have a lot of guilt, trauma recovery, and bonding with his party members that enables him to care about other people and actually become a good person...oh and rescue and recruit Minthara at Moonrise!
Also his Dream Guardian is his mom, who he has a. Complicated relationship with (they have not spoken in decades). If any drow lore knowers have suggestions for what house he might be from I'm all ears!
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books-in-a-storm · 1 year
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Snowflake Book Review’s
Title: Conner Brothers Construction #6 Tavin
Author: Cee Bowerman
Pages:200
Snowflake Rating:❄❄❄❄(4/5)
Synopsis: Tavin and London have been together for a while now, but life and responsibilities are tearing them apart. With London traveling all over the world for her career, and Tavin stuck in Rojo, Texas for his, the two of them have to make do with precious few stolen moments leaving both of them wanting more. London starts to doubt the life choices she’s made and knows she can’t be happy so far away from home. Is it too late for her and Tavin to salvage their relationship? Tavin can’t leave his family to follow the woman he loves, and life at home without her has started to wear on his patience and make him question the plans he had laid out for his future.
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kfrances · 3 months
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ivy! (from @lackadaisycats)
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raurquiz · 11 months
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#Happybirthday #RobertPine #actor #AmbassadorLiria #StarTrek #Voyager #thechute #Tavin #Enterprise #fusion #CHiPs #lakeviewterrace #redeye #jobs #IndependenceDay #TImeless #ncis #frozen #Superstore #Charmed #ElenaofAvalor #WishMan #TheLastFullMeasure #911LoneStar #startrek56
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Fictional duo's I'm convinced are gay/bisexual and you can't convince me otherwise.
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quackdragon · 10 months
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I made a plush this summer and decided to take him on a road trip. Here’s he in Joshua tree
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I love he
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ace-in-the-author · 3 months
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Being friends with Alastor and Rosie headcanons!
Probably ooc.
wc: 857
> And We’ll Party Like It’s the 1920’s Again!
Whenever you and/or Alastor go to Cannibal Town to see Rosie, there’ll always be at least one dance before one of you leave; it’s simply a must!
We all know that both of them love to dance, sing, and play instruments. So a day spent without a dance is a day wasted, to them!
Tea-time in the gazebo and gossiping about any and every thing that happened while you three were separated! Oh, it is a happy day when tea-time happens!
Absolutely ranting about Susan from Rosie, and occasionally a (dis)respectful quip from Alastor about Vox or Lucifer.
Tea-time is as splendid as it is informative! The newest gossip brought to the table may be the vilest crimes you’ve caught word of in Hell –Better yet, on Earth!-- and retelling the stories to Alastor and Rosie.
If you partake in such; a quaint meal with Alastor and Rosie made of only the best quality of meat, of course!
They’d only purchase the finest of venison or… sinner; for their meals, expect no less when buying for you too!
If you do not, you’ll have food of your choice whilst they happily munch on an unfortunate lower-life sinner. All dietary decisions are respected with these two!
Introduce them to Electro-Swing music, especially Alastor. He might give you a ‘look’ from the genre’s name, but once he listens to it, I’d bet he’d absolutely love it.
I feel he’d like “Party Like It’s 1929” quite a bit, considering his voice is identical to the man in the songs, among other things.
Introducing Rosie to Electro-Swing would be a blast; she would definitely love this genre as well!
If you’ve met Charlie, you either loved her enthusiasm or were partially uncomfortable by it. Either way, she adores you and subconsciously sees you and Rosie as parental/sibling figures.
You’ll have many-a-reminiscing to when modern technology was the candlestick telephone and radio! A shared distaste for modern media and current technological advancements between the three of you.
Rosie absolutely accompanies you when purchasing clothes, recommending and suggesting garments that suit you well. I can tell that she and Alastor have impeccable fashion taste.
She’d be evidently delighted if you were to stop by her shop, Rosie’s Emporium, to purchase a few delicious treats, or one of her fantastic 1910’s apparel!
If you’re an Overlord as well, you three would visit each other's lands for fun, kill a lowly sinner here n’ there, and –naturally– sit next to one another during meetings with the other Overlords.
The wonderful emotional bond created as you brutalize and consume a ne’er do-weller is something indescribable. Adrenaline rushing, blood pumping and flowing, the poor souls' cries garbling as you tear apart their chest; something you simply cannot replace!
Meetings are a coinflip, either there are productive topics to be discussed at hand, or an insignificant argument on display for everyone to see; during the latter, you three usually engage in casual conversation or attentively listen to the on-going drama with large smiles on your faces.
Visiting Alastor’s and Rosie’s parts of the city is always a welcomed sudden switch from modern to old-fashioned, not a modern device in sight! Depending on the theme of your land, there may be greater or fewer visits, no matter, as when they do visit they both have a blast!
The local newspapers adore your ‘accomplice triplex’ relationship, though, are mildly off-put whilst viewing your trio's work in action.
The people of Cannibal Town are least disturbed, but cannot shake off the paranoia of themselves pulling the short stick and falling victim to one of the ‘spontaneous’ free meals.
The sinners inhabiting Alastors land could not possibly be more afraid of him, and witnessing anyone commit those atrocities alongside him –willingly,– adds an insurmountable level of terror.
The topic of vulnerability is something rarely spoken of between the three of you, and usually between you and Rosie when it is.
No matter how close or trusted you are by Alastor, he’s not the man –or demon– to tell many that kind of information.
He might reveal hints at his human life in casual conversation and such, but it’s so subtle that you’d have to actively listen for it to realize.
Despite the label of associate and accomplice, you’re all close friends, but their (and your) reputation must be upheld! (Even if anyone can tell you three are friends.)
Playing early 1900’s instruments with Rosie and Alastor is a favourable past-time for everyone!
Rosie teaches you how to play certain songs –even if you already know them– on your favourite instruments. She also loves whenever you or Alastor play her a song she likes.
Alastor plays a few musical instruments, and wishes to one day use one of the songs you three played on his radio show; though he’d rather die again than reveal even a hair of weakness to his listeners.
All in all, you three have a wonderful bond and would eat any low-life sinners who dare disrespect any of you! Sounds like a true friendship to me!
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forensicated · 3 months
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Thoughts from re-bingewatching (mostly series 18 onwards recently) The Bill
Smithy is a bloody idiot if he thinks he's in love and puts himself in serious danger. He's literally seconds away from being killed for both Louise and Kerry and if his colleagues hadn't burst in each time he'd not be there no more. He is loyal to an absolute fault as long as he likes you! 💗 His bravery is second to none - as well as being bloody stupid! Literal Super!Sarge.
I don't hate Kerry as much as I did watching as an adult rather than when I was late teens/early 20's. As discussed with @everythingisdragons, a lot of what she does is understandable when you look from her position. Her station-best friend is murdered just before she's due to get married. Gina has to spend her and Luke's wedding day stopping Craig from telling her that he spent the night with Luke. She's strung along whilst Luke and Craig do lots of angst and staring across the room at each other and then is gaslit by Gina, Craig and Luke when she asks him if he's gay. She finds out she's pregnant and they split. She has a miscarriage just as they 'get back together'. She's dumped by the love of her life because he's gay, she finds out he spent the night before they got married with a man who she thinks is her friend and then he walks out on her again when she literally begs him to stay and says it doesn't matter that he's gay they can deal with it. After a few one night stands with Smithy she then falls for Cameron who starts being calm and kind and understanding and then slut shames her (along with Smithy for that!) and dumps her. She has a drunken one night stand with Smithy and hides it from Cameron when he wants to get back together. She then ends up being manipulated by a psychopath, told everything she thinks she knows about a man she's known and trusted for a while is wrong and that he raped her. Said psycho uses her further vulnerability to keep the pressure up and everyone at work is pressuring her to either make the complaint official or stfu with others telling her how wrong she is because Smithy wouldn't do that. Cameron is a tit who can't keep his mouth shut when they get back together (Who the fuck brings up a rape allegation in the middle of an ARMED ROBBERY? and then demands his girlfriend tell him if it's the truth or not as she's trying to keep a man with a FUCKING BOMB strapped to him calm and secure whilst the disposal team arrive?) and makes the situation worse by lying on official documents and to the investigators and tries to cover it up and make her lie. Gabriel keeps put the pressure by telling her he's got the CCTV and will protect her because he's her 'guardian angel' and the only one looking out for her. Gabriel then goes on and rape her (unknowingly impregnating her which adds to further hormones) knowing people wouldn't believe her after she accused Smithy and then withdrew it when she finally talked to him. Cameron cheats on her with Honey (her good friend!) and they have an illfated 'thing' when he and Kerry split up. She's in complete freefall and desperate for someone to love her and look after her. She's almost killed by the Radfords yet returns to David the same night that he was going to shoot her (and Smithy!) and almost gives up her job for him until she sees he ALSO cheats on her. Gabriel's still hanging around, Gina's got it in for her cos of the rape allegation against Smithy even though they sorted it out between themselves and she realised her didn't rape her. Cameron leaves her and returns to Australia despite her literally running after him and begging him to stay like she did Luke, David and Irene are promising her a new life, Gina's threatening to get her out of the station. She comes to her senses and uses David's trust in her to set him up - and then is about to be arrested for conspiracy to commit armed robbery (Irene taped it all). On top of all THAT, her dad goes on to have a heart attack. Despite it all there's only one person she can trust who is still there when the chips are down... Smithy! He tells her he loves her but there's too much going on to process it until she knows her dad will be ok. When he is - she returns to the station to tell Smithy she loves him too... only to get shot and essentially die in his arms. Phew.
I actually hated Andrea more this time around. I never liked her and hated her character first time but I think this time the deceit and lies really really fucked me off on top of the whole 'I'm such an innocent little flower who is really fucking stupid despite noone realising how obvious she's being.' She shit on every single one of them and betrayed them yet wouldn't have it at the end that she was the one in the wrong.
I found Phil Hunter and Rod Skase more odious than I did first time round too. Teenage me had a crush on Rod yet watching again I really don't know why (other than hormones!). He was still watchable though and enjoyable for the dick that he is at least. Phil was always slimy and smug but this time watching again - ugh. He should have had his downfall - not be allowed to walk off into the sunset 'redeemed'. The stuff he did to Nick... ugh.And the underage daughter of his lover too! I also enjoyed Danny Pearce less too, much for the same reasons as Rod I think.
Geoff Daly was more of a dick than I remembered. I didn't mind him first time around but this time he did nothing but moan, cause problems for others, use his rank be a dick.
I love the 90's way of the - mostly CID - boys calling each other by their full names when being snarky with each other. "Geoffrey." "Donald!"
The 80's/90's girls were a thousand times better than the 00's girls. On the whole they got stuck in and did the job and told the men where to stick it which was even more impressive given the time and not all this batting their eyes at them. Viv, Suzi (Croft), June, Kerry (Holmes), Cass, Liz, Vicky, Jamila, Norika, Sally (Johnson), Christine etc. The only exception being Gina, obv. (There's some 00's girls I don't mind, Mel, Millie, Kirsty, Stevie, Amber (for the wrong reasons), but most of them were problematic for various reasons or just plain poorly written.
I miss Derek! :( Even now! Him and Gina bitching together with Jack - probably about Heaton would have been hilarious.
Mickey's rape still remains IMO one of the strongest storylines on the show in its history and uses a backing of its strongest cast at the time to play it out so well and sympathetically. Even Delaney's actor is one you can believe in and want to kill through the screen. It's one of few that continued down into other storylines too and was remembered when necessary.
The Target trilogy is another that is an incredible story telling trip from start to end and so well done.
Will Fletcher is a horrible character who showed no loyalty to anyone. He knew Emma had a boyfriend/fiancé/husband and didn't back off. Even when he knew or at least suspected Matt was an abuser he still kept digging and digging away and antagonising him purposely despite that putting Emma in further danger of harm. He played with Honey's feelings, messed her around and even when she literally TOLD him she didn't want anything serious but was inviting him on a holiday of essentially sun, sea, sand and sex he still turned her down (after saying he was going until the night before) and as we know she went off to meet Eva and ended up being killed rather than getting on that plane. It was a good week before anyone realised she was missing. He treated Dan like crap too despite him supposedly being his best friend. When both men liked Emma when she first arrived, Dan stepped aside and let Will try his look. However when the petrol station woman decided she liked Dan rather than Will, Will swapped the petrol pump from a Diesel to unleaded (despite Dan having put the right one to the car) so that Dan would get bollocked and be the cause of the car having to be towed back to the police garage, emptied, flushed and then refueled and he'd get points on his licence - points that ended up stopping him going on the advanced driving course he'd applied for (that Will knew nothing about till Dan applied for it!) so that Will got his place - and then when Dan asked if he was going to turn it down given the situation when Will admitted what he'd done, Will essentially laughed at him and called him stupid in a roundabout way. He also indirectly is the reason that Dan hurt his shoulder and began the steroid journey because instead of following him to arrest the man who stole it as he should have done, he stayed with the motorbike he'd been about to buy before it was stolen, which meant that Dan had to arrest him solo and got hurt. He also took the credit for finding the missing baby in Deadly Secrets when it was Dan. He's also incredibly petulant, sulky and thinks he's the best copper at the station. I couldn't help by being amused when Callum called him out on it within 12 hours of knowing him. Speaking of Callum, Will was also stuck straight up his arse and sucking up when he knew that he was low level bullying Dan, telling him to stick where he was and that he'd never be anything more than a PC when he was asking to progress onto a course.
There's several points where multi-episode mini-stories really struggled, assuming it was because of each part having a different writer and them not seeming to collaborate or at least read other peoples episodes before writing their own. For example Conviction 6 makes out like Smithy and Stevie continued things after the last episode of Gun Runner when they really really didn't. It's quite a confusing episode in some respects because of that.
Towards the end there's a lot of 'because of the reboot' decisions in stories rather than it feeling true to the character. Without going into too much detail because the recap will be up soon, the last episode of the Conviction six parter is a great example of this and also the point above.
Why did Des fire bomb the station to retrieve the counterfeit fifty? I know why but like... what part of that action makes sense? Surely you play dumb until it's mentioned - if it is mentioned - and then say you must have been scammed somehow and put in another amount?
Dan Casper is a special precious cinnamon roll and I will fight to the death anyone who says otherwise! He's sweet, kind, generous, does not like injustice or people picking on others (ie: telling Emma she doesn't have to be mean to Beth and act all hard because of what happened to her, they still love her either way). He's super sensitive too. If he loves you he pretty much forgives you anything and everything. He's adoooooooorable! (Same for Leon pretty much!)
TPTB missed a trick not having Dan, Will, Leon, Nate and Ben all onscreen at the same time and living together in a big house share.
Speaking of Ben, I enjoyed him a lot more this time too. The first time round he was too involved in the possé stuff of Callum, Sally and Will and I used to not pay as much attention as I could during those parts but he also proved himself to be very sweet and a proper gentleman who went above and beyond with the tropey-hidden!anger stuff for a little bit.
There's a good few characters who have decent arcs through the series looking back. Gina's move from all seeing, all knowing fearless ball breaker to human and terrified of losing more officers after her thousandth one died (I jest but it started to feel that way sometimes!) was very human and believable. Neil's transformation was understandable given everything he experienced over the years, even if it was the hideous Andrea stuff in the middle. Smithy from cocky PC, Sgt who wasn't to dissimilar but had obvious hints of Uncle!Bob's moulding and influence through to mature and responsible grown up Sgt and then Inspector was wonderful.
Gina and Smithy's friendship was a thing of beauty. Other than Louise, Gina was the only other person he cried in front of - the other times he'd run off to be by himself. I still laugh at Jonathan's reaction to Smithy having a key to Gina's.
Jack and Mickey's wasn't too far behind either, though Jack had an awful tendency to be lead by another brain that wasn't in his head - ala Rachel Heath time and abandon Mickey when he needed him the most.
If there needed to be another Sgt in uniform, why couldn't Kirsty have been promoted (as a newcomer not with much background they wouldn't have to know how long she'd been a PC etc) or one of the others if not keeping Diane? Why move Jo across? She could have become a DS alongside Max and fill the gap there.
Gina's ex, Harry, does not come across like any sort of man that Gina would ever allow near her! Infact he seems the absolute opposite that she'd go for! (Episode 181)
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Speaking of Gina's exes, we all know I'm bias for Gina and Jonathan, but the little reveals here and there of Adam and Gina's relationship were lovely, especially her obvious heartbreak when she spots his kids for the first time (The open day where Eva's daughter Joanna goes missing). The only reason they broke up is because she couldn't give him the kids she knew he wanted so she ended it and he didn't know why until they reunited at Sun Hill. It was beautifully done and you could get them being together.
Ugh, i wish she'd told Jonathan at the wedding (Jim/June) that she was ready to commit like she was going to! Or at the station the day after when she found him about to leave!
Although I love the end of the show as in the episodes themselves (Respect 1 and 2) I really dislike the way a lot of the storylines were rounded off. Callum post his dad's funeral and his assault and his jostling with Jo and his suspension were forgotten about for Respect 1 and 2. Max's drugs stuff was left ambiguous after his return as it wasn't mentioned and he had calmed down a bit and was less argy bargy and more wind up merchant. (And why didn't Mickey tell Jack rather than make a big song and dance about telling Neil instead!) It was a shame because it makes people totally forget how decent a person Max was from Assault On Sun Hill to In The Know a lot of the time as well as being an occasional dick. He was absolutely gutted he had to arrest Noah (Backlash) and had really bonded with him and took the time to help him and see things from his level despite his initial thoughts. He threatens a dangerous dealer to keep Fran safe. He also gave Noah his PSP to keep! (Brings back memories of Smithy giving TIm his gameboy in Lullaby). He went looking for Pavel in Righteous Kill despite it meaning he got held at gunpoint and looked out for Julie and her uncle as much as he could. He was impressed by Smithy in Gun Runner and told him and offered to help him through the DPS and other PCC interviews and sit with him if he needed someone. He was impressed by Beth in Beth Undercover and told her so. He had a really fun friendship with Eddie - or "Edmundo!". Cowboy Country - he was adorable as well as a little bugger for telling everyone about Terry's love of country music.
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Speaking of Max - his and Millie's 'relationship' (not in the actual terms as in a couple) always intrigued me. Purely for the fact that she was so obviously swoony over him and all heart eyes and he never let on that he was aware (though obviously was!), however in Righteous Kill he says to her at the vending machine - after he's nobbled some money off her to take Pavel some food and drink where he's hiding out) that "it doesn't have to be a big thing." and it sort of... seems out of place as nothing linked was mentioned before it and nothing was said after (and then there's Smash and Grab a few episodes after and Millie loses the crush for a few episodes) Is this 'big thing' her crush? Is he telling her to back off? Or telling her it could be something casual... it goes unanswered and it's always bugged me why it was said because nothing came of it or was building up to it and she doesn't say anything in response other than "Sure."! Unless he's meaning not wanting to talk like she offers? Or the thing he's checking up on? (that he's going off to find Pavel without telling anyone?)
There'll likely be more as I remember it haha!
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areyoutheredemons · 4 months
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Tavin, Nox and Wren for Valentine’s Day
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natty-tuning-in · 11 months
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Hoh boy. I don't know how to tag this one man.
Side note: Tavin is (ethnically) Korean. that's why ppl are confused at his accent. this is written from his point of view and is how he feels about himself, I don't think these things abt him or anyone who is like him!! he just hates himself a LOT and this is that internal monolog almost.
Side side note I have AUs of my own OCs 💀💀 this is the main universe, canon if u will. I should start tagging AUs... the "virgin boy never came once" Alex agenda is fun but the main universe Alex isn't like that.
tw; dehumanization, hypersexuality, implied sexual assault, serious self hatred, slut-shaming, person being referred to as a thing, severe depression, he's known as the local slut that anyone can pull basically. also I use Italics WAY TOO FUCKING MUCH because it sounds good in my voice in my head, so just strain those words in your head kinda. lmk if I should tw for anything else cus I'm running on 2 hours of sleep rn
Tavin could barely even meet the man's eyes.
He knew that people fell in love with each other, and he knew that it happened for most people. But not for him. How could it? People with worth fell in love with other worthy people. From all he'd gathered, he wasn't considered worthy. Not in the slightest.
He didn't consider himself worthy, other people didn't consider him worthy. It wasn't hard to gather that he was pretty much supposed to be in bad relationships, or on his own. At least, that's what he assumed. Anyone with even an ounce of self respect didn't dare look at him with anything other than lust. He wasn't ever meant to be anything more than a casual one night thing, or maybe a little experiment for another guy to figure out his sexuality. And that was fine. He'd gotten used to it. He'd more than gotten used to it, he had just fully accepted it. This was how it should be, and him trying to actually bond with someone was just utterly embarrassing on his part.
Everyone saw it as desperation, everyone saw it as off putting. He couldn't switch up now, he was known. Once a whore, always a whore. It was his own damn fault and he accepted it. He tried his hardest to stifle all these ridiculous, absurd fantasies of his, ones where someone would tell him 'I love you', someone other than a half-stranger on top of him with a brain full of oxytocin and eyes completely lacking any genuine emotion besides lust.
He was getting tired. He was getting tired of waking up in a strange bed. He was tired of not being able to look anyone on top of him in the eye. He was tired of people dragging their nails across the areas that he hated being touched in. He was tired of every single touch leaving a bruise, a not so gentle reminder that everyone only saw him as an object and that it'd fucking stay that way and it was his own fault. He has no one else to blame but himself.
And what was worse was he couldn't tell if it would be better to quit or not. He was starved of everything a person could be starved of. The way these people touched him was cold and selfish, and he absolutely hated it, but it was still touch. And he couldn't even fucking tell if it was worse having to go without that. Touch he hated was better than nothing, especially if that was the only relationship, if it could be called that, that he could get. He couldn't decide if waking up in a stranger's bed was worse than waking up in his own. His own bed, where he'd lay for hours upon hours, rotting in his own stinking cesspit of a mind, staring at his ceiling and feeling so goddamn helpless and stuck.
This couldn't change, and he didn't know if he wanted to throw all of it away. It was his only distraction from his wretched imagination. It was like gasoline to the pain of his mind, sure. But more importantly was it cancelled itself out. One more body in his count, one more face to haunt him. One more night he was running from his thoughts. A price he was willing to pay, apparently. It was like a drug.
He was confusing to look at and that's why people were attracted to him like flies. Trying to figure out what was wrong with him, he assumed. Why are your eyes different colors? You look so young. You're so tall! You're so skinny! And his absolute least favorite: why do you sound like that? Do you have a speech impediment? You don't look Russian. He was Russian. And maybe people would know that Russian isn't a fucking look, that you dont look Russian. They'd know if they actually cared enough to get to know him. God, how long had it been since he'd had a personal conversation?
And then this guy came in.
This. Fucking. Guy.
Puppy dog eyes, auburn hair and a real zest for life. Happy all the damn time, equal parts innocent and flirty, and the most adorable combination of facial features Tavin had ever seen. And his nose, god, Tavin felt so pathetic for fawning over a damn facial feature. But it was adorable. It was slightly downturned and it complimented his downturned eyes perfectly and gave him the most gorgeous and bright smile. He was a human sunshine.
And it made Tavin sick.
He was a literal slut. People didn't even have to try anymore. All it took was for someone to look into his tired, tired eyes, swallowed by puffy dark skin, and nod to the exit. And people knew that. He'd gotten so pathetic that people knew they could get him for a night if they made eye contact. Sometimes he wondered how they could do it. He couldn't bring himself to say no. He was too tired, too self hating to ever do it. He wondered how these people could knowingly take advantage of him. And then he'd shut the thoughts up by telling himself that it didn't matter. It's what he deserved, right? He could just say no. He wasn't worth anything and he was lucky people still had the guts to touch him, right?
And here was this fella, with a good career, a good family… a good everything. He was perfect. He was happy, relatively rich, basically a virgin next to Tavin, too, and had the most adorable cat named Pumpkin. He wasn't even in Tavin's 'Worth' system. He was just… priceless. He was perfect. He deserved the absolute best. And that wasn't Tavin.
So why on earth did he insist on talking to him? Tavin couldn't understand why this man would even dare associate with some thing like him. It drove him up the wall that this guy seemed to care. He didn't know how to break it to him that he didn't deserve care. At first he was fine with their arrangement. Started as a hook up, which immediately told Tavin he was different because of how he acted.
None of his touches bruised, none of his words hurt, he left no marks on Tavin at all. And he had listened. Tavin had all but given up telling, begging, people to not touch these specific places. And they usually would because they didn't care. But this guy didn't do that. He listened. And he communicated, and the second he left Tavin's apartment, Tavin was on the floor bawling. Because he liked it. And that, of all things, made him sick to his stomach with guilt and shame. Because he didn't deserve it. He didn't deserve it at all. And he felt like a pig for indulging in this affection that he felt he never should have been afforded.
And just as he was about to throw up from how disgusting he felt, he got a text. A text from that very guy that said he'd just love to meet up. In a normal context. A friendly setting. To talk and get to know each other with absolutely no sexual intentions.
A date..?
And against all his mind's screaming, he accepted. And he got to know this guy a little More.
His name was Alex, he used to be a psychologist but then he transitioned to neurology. He had two doctorates. He was fucking smart. His father was Irish, and Tavin could pick up on the Irish in his accent. It was mostly a basic jersey accent, though. He doesn't really particularly enjoy meeting new people in a romantic context. Tavin gathered he wasn't a big fan of hook ups, either. Said he'd had like, what, three max?
So why on earth did Tavin catch his eye?
Tavin eventually broke and asked him, and Alex looked at him with those damn puppy eyes, brimming with tears of concern. And he confused Tavin even further, saying he didn't see Tavin like that, that he didn't care what others thought. How could he? People must hold these opinions for a reason, right? If everyone looked down on him then there must be a reason, right?
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oatvy · 2 years
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can we have j's ootd? :)
Of course! Once I'm in game later, I'll do a cas photo. <3
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morelikebaldursgay · 7 months
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OK yeah I ended up redoing Tavin.
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I simply love body 1 and 3's half-elf face 3 too much. It's not perfect, but it gets closest to capturing his scrungliness.
I also slightly changed his mom's design to look a bit more like this version of him.
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He's a half-drow now, not a full drow, but his backstory is otherwise unchanged--he in fact has now idea that he's a half-drow, and his mom (if she even knows herself) had no reason to tell anyone otherwise.
Also, he still uses he/him, but I've realized his gender is closer to "im probably nonbinary but i have a job so idrc about that rn".
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the-toybox-general · 5 months
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I rewatched all of psychonauts 1 with my boyfriend . Hello everyone I hope this doesn't awaken anything in me
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kfrances · 2 years
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robotic daughter
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