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lordtraco-fanfics · 3 years

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Hey here's an Emotionally Mature Zenitsu drabble I wrote last night because FEELS:

(also on AO3)

"She'll never like you that way."

The truth of the words hit hard, but it didn't outwardly affect Zenitsu. After all, he'd heard it plenty of times from his insecurities. He'd been brave enough to face them anyways, but bravery didn't always carry with it a reward.

Zenitsu spoke flatly, the lack of emotion telling more than it should have. "I know. I respect that."

"If it hurts to be around-"

"It doesn't," Zenitsu cut him off with an exasperated sigh. He tightly gripped the fabric of his pants. "You don't get it."

"Then explain. I might not have your great hearing, but I can still listen." Tanjiro offered, nudging him with his shoulder gently.

"I love her. Not the idea of her as my wife, her!" Zenitsu said, emphasizing with a wave of his arms. "I want her happy and healthy and to be in her life if I'm a positive part of it."

"Even if she found another?"

Zenitsu sobbed, covering his face in his hands. "Yes," he choked out through the tears and hitching breaths. Pulling his knees close, Zenitsu tried and failed to keep his emotions down.

Tanjiro paused as if he wasn't expecting that answer. As if he'd been fully prepared for the opposite. He hovered a hand over Zenitsu's shoulder, unsure on how to help him through the breakdown.

Luckily, Zenitsu soon got himself under control enough to respond. He let go of his knees and shut his eyes tight in an attempt to stop the tears. He sniffled loudly before turning to give Tanjiro a serious expression.

"Yes, ok? It'd hurt like hell because of my insecurities! Because I'd be terrified of being left behind again!" Zenitsu wiped at his face roughly, then pointed at himself. "But that's not her problem! That's mine!"

Tanjiro slowly turned to wrap his friend in an embrace. "That's very mature of you. You've grown, Zenitsu."

"I don't want your praises," a small voice spoke into his shoulder.

"So that's what you smell like when you lie." Tanjiro smiled softly.

"I. No. Shut your nose!" Zenitsu pulled away and raised a hand to try and cover Tanjiro's nose.

Dodging easily, Tanjiro caught his hand as well as his undivided attention. "You're a great person, Zenitsu. We're all lucky to have you in our lives."

"Stop! You're going to kill me! Leave me to be sad in peace!"

"No, I don't think I will." Tanjiro just pulled him back into the hug gently, not feeling any resistance. "There's no demons to face right now but the ones in your head."

Zenitsu just cried quietly and messily into his shoulder.

"Do you think I can headbutt your inner demons away?"

That earned him a sniffle that sounded a lot like a laugh.

"Oh, or I could get Inosuke's help. If we made it a competition, he'd never stop complimenting you."

Zenitsu's weight against him doubled as the boy went a bit limp. He sounded defeated when he spoke. "Please don't do that. It'd all sound fake."

"Ah, we'll have to brainstorm a better strategy then." Tanjiro turned his head to press a soft kiss to Zenitsu's forehead. "But we're Demon Slayers. We face demons together, even our inner ones."

Zenitsu hid his flushed face against Tanjiro's shirt, nodding. He didn't trust his words.

But he trusted his friends.

#demon slayer #kny #kny fanfic #no movie spoilers #zenitsu #no manga spoilers #tanzen if you squint #yes this is me projecting shh

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being-an-alien · 7 years

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London and Me.

To be honest with you, I am still not over London. Like, I am still so happy every single time I think about it. I waited 10 years to see this band and they did not let me down. It has honestly taken me this long to formulate my thoughts and I’m not sure they even make sense.

Here is just a collection of things that I felt on that day:

Leaving Oxford for London is an experience. It’s raining and my hair is pretty wavy/curly at the best of times. Good Start.

The Bus we were on took us through Mayfair (If anyone plays UK monopoly that is the dark blue really rich area - Yikes)

Finding a Bus from there to the club was an experience - Londoners are rude af. If you pulled the shit they did up here in the Scotland ...my god. First - turns out you cant buy two bus tickets on one card, and if you dont have contactless you are not getting on. Second - “You can get a ticket up there” is not helpful in the slightest when you don’t tell us where “Up there” is. Third - Yes I do have a Scottish Accent thank you for pointing that out I had never noticed it before.

Finally got a ticket and the correct bus let the good times roll.

Okay when we see the Hamilton Signs on the way back that’s where we get off the bus.

Those two girls at the front of the bus are going to the concert too I can feel it.

Finally found the club, and by found I mean walked round the corner.

I did say if you arent here early you are at the back.

Now we wait.

It stopped raining, things are looking up.

Hello new line friends. Im doing a survey on your queuing experience as we enter hour 4.

I think the population of Spain is in this line. Hola, sorry about the greyness. But you know..UK.

Half of these girls are wearing stilettos, your feet are gonna hurt by the end of the night. But as a literal hobbit - I understand.

Ah movement! Oh its the 483 people. We are running a little behind. Thats okay. First show - teething problems are expected.

Oh are they calling for scream?? Move to the right and line over there, perfect bring on the soundcheck.

Okay now move back to where you were and don’t get inside - that was utterly pointless.

Don’t yell at my new line friend - Mr Club staff man. Its not her fault you dont know how to manage a good queue.

Line Bants, Line Bants. All about those line bants.

Finally Scream time! Soundcheck me up!

Aww a Cute Lanyard and a signed poster! This is already the best concert I’ve ever been too.

They are pre-gaming this soundcheck.

Finally into the club for our soundchecking experience.

The SUSPENSE!

OH MY GOD ITS THEM! They are there! Right in front of me. He’s 10 feet away...

Why Oh why oh WHY oh why are they still so good looking in real life.

It should be illegal for Bill to be so pretty in real life.

And tall - so very very tall.

This is less soundcheck and more private performance. I am totes here for this.

Oh god we made eye contact! He smiled while maintaining the eye contact. Am I red? Im red. Goddamit I thought my Bill fangirling days were over. I was so so so wrong.

Picture time. Group 2, easy to remember.

Friend - Friend why are you putting your poster down your top??

Line friend dont you start doing it too!

Geo is looking at this display of poster toppage - I dont know either Geo and I’m friends with them.

Our groups turn

Oh god I am literally so close to Gustav.

No friend - I wont smile in this picture.

If Gustav doesnt have to smile in pictures then neither do I!

Okay maybe one smile, just a small one.

Okay a big one!

I am satisfied.

Back outside to my beloved queue.

Wow even more people are here!

LINE FRIEND YOU HAVE WINE!!!!!!

Circle time with wine.

Oh even more friends! French Friends from inside hi come stand with us!

We ran out of wine! But we have selfies and that’s all that matters

TIME TO GO IN!!!!!!!!!!

Wow we are crushed in here. I cant lift my arms at all.

Here we go!

Oh god people please stop with the pushing!

Something New - Obvious choice but totally fitting. Those outfits. I am so here for 80′s B-movie space adventure. Its like my entire aesthetic!

Boy Don’t Cry - I really love this song. Line Friend if we could actually move we’d be Tanzen like we were in the line!

Feel it all - Im feeling it all. I am feeling everything. Joy, pain, these girls arms. That guys leg. Mostly joy!

Bill’s dancing is actually better in person. It looks way less awkward than it does on film.

Also Georg. Just Georg. I appreciate all of everything to do with him.

Love Who Loves You Back - Legit my fave song from the last album. Apparently the person next to me loves it too. I feel you random concert girl.

I have lost my friends in this crowd. I dont care. Look at my boys go!

DarkSide of the Sun - Based purely on the amount of versions of this album I own I would say Humanoid is my fave. Also I was like 14 when it came out Music has never and will never sound as good as it did in that time.

The Heart Get No Sleep - glaring grammatical error aside I love this. I don’t think my heart will be sleeping at any point soon either. Go Bill - you sexy dance/touch yourself on stage. Its all good from where im standing.

Better - Getting them Stormy Weather flashbacks. But this song just gets better the more I hear about it in the aftermath of the concert. No one liked you anyway indeed.

Cotton Candy Sky - I know something you dont know, people who werent in at soundcheck...just wait. Aaand there it is - that is Tom singing-ish. The Screaming shows the appreciation for this moment. Fun fact - this song has ended up really growing on me. I thought I would hate it! Im glad that I don’t.

We Found Us - I call Bullshit on that - I cant find any of my friends in this damn club. I have literally been pushed two rows back from where I started (honestly my view is better.) Still cant find my friends though. On the Upside I can see Gustav now! Look at the lil drummer boy go.

Hang on a minute - where did Bill go?

Why is Tom coming down?

Are those Drumsticks?

They are!

DRUM BATTLE!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now normally I dont say such things about Tom ‘cause his ego does not need to be boosted ever....But oh my god did he look sexy in that drum battle!

Oh Bill is back and its time for Run Run Run. I remember the #drama when this song came out. Good times.

Black - Turns out I dont remember the English lyrics for this song. The rest of the crowd are singing though so everything is fine. This might be the one place he wont be harassed for singing it in English.

Easy - Now on the rest of the album the “getting high” references could possibly be interpreted as being high on life, or love - you know if you squint really hard and ignore context. But here literally “we smoked weed in the backseat of your car” there is no other way to interpret that one. So go with it! Im a Uni student, make your own assumptions about what I get up to.

FRIEND! Friend where have you been? Are Line friends still alive? Stay with me friend! Yes I do see Georg’s arms. Yes they are nice. No, I dont think he’ll strip more.

Girl got a Gun - Lets face it this song is just a bit of fun. All I can ever think of is my mother trying to get the lyrics in the right order “Girl got a gun bang, gun gun, bang gun,bang bang,gun gun, bang.” Indeed mum, indeed.

Automatic - my love for this song knows no bounds. The KOS people look so happy - and possibly drunk. The tech peeps have very nicely turned down the sound for when Bill lets the girls sing. If I was up there I would appreciate it very muchly.

As Young as We Are- I adore this song - anything that says “So let us die!” is right on the money. Hit me with your tourbus on the way out please. “This is the last song” the fuck it is. You haven’t played the lead single that is a dead give away. You and every other band in the history of ever do encores - we know this.

Apparently some people do not know this. Where the hell are those people going?

Yes yes do the fake leaving the stage - gotta keep the illusion alive!

Get back on this stage you aren’t done yet!

What if - well you made us wait for it didn’t you. This is my friends fave song from the album. As I said before I am here for a good 80′s theme so lay it on me! Aww look at my baby giraffe dance. What a cutie.

Durch Den Monusn - You know it takes talent to get a room full of English (Scottish, Spanish and French also included) people to sing in German but they bloody managed it. I didn’t know that even remembered the lyrics to DDM its been so long. But sure enough I do remember -pronunciation notwithstanding.

Stop, Babe - And here it is. The actual last song of the night. My favourite song from the new album. To be fair for having the least time with the new album to learn the lyrics everyone has done well with the new songs.

CONFETTI. Confetti and Tears! I would totes name am album Confetti and Tears if I had any semblance of talent that would lead me to be making an album.

If Gusti gonna do the wave?

No. No he is not. That’s a shame.

Time to crush our way out of here! Friend hold my bag and do not get lost!

Outside in the fresh air. No merch. Feet too sore to wait.

Can’t find our Line friends - but we love you line friends.

Now where is the bus stop?

No we arent meeting the artists - chance would be a fine thing (fuck you treehouse - taking my humanoid out of my basket, then doubling it, then kicking me off the site when I tried to pay!)

Ah the bus! I am so sore.

So happy!

Hamilton signs. Off we get

Now walk to the posh part and bus it back to Oxford

WAIT MR BUS! You arent scheduled to leave for 3 more minutes let us on!

Okay not on that bus. Half an hour till the next one.

I want to cry - im so happy. So so Happy. 10 years- all of them worth it for this one night!

On the bus. How can you be falling asleep random person? I may never sleep again!

I had a Scream upgrade and let me tell you, I could have left after the “Soundcheck” (Read: Private performance of a few songs) and been completely satisfied with the whole night. I would have considered it money well spent.

Now being in London I was not expecting there to be as many people as there were, and people showed up and bought tickets from the box office as we were standing there.

#tokio hotel #Bill Kaulitz #georg listing #Gustav Schafer #Tom Kaulitz #london

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