#tags from last poetry thing still stand btw
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Last night, I heard your terrifying howling. I felt the earth tremble, as if to shake me awake as you let loose the enchanting song of demise you sing when you catch someone in your woods.
It was followed by the townsfolk pounding at my door in a panic. A child had stumbled into your woods at sunset, and had yet to return now at midnight.
Your howling had convinced the useless brutes who guarded the village that you'd claimed the child as a casualty in your forest, but the villagers had managed to convince them to let me investigate first.
Thank the sun they had.
As I ran down the path to the fields, I saw you in the moonlight. In the middle of the wheat field, standing, with a dove pale as the purest white paints in your jaws. The brutish guards had followed me, and panicked, readying arrows and shouting for the rest of the village as I ran toward you.
Then, the child peeked out from behind your hulking form, looking up sleepily as if they were not standing by wilderness incarnate. The villagers chastised the brutes angrily, the child's mother running down yelling for them as your gaze pierced straight through me.
Toward the brutes.
You dropped the dove into my hands, black ichor staining my palms as you turned and nudged the child forward into their mother's embrace. When their mother asked the child why they'd taken so long to come back with you, they'd told her that something bad had tried to eat them after they got lost.
But then the angel, the child had pointed up at you with wonder in their eyes, had saved them. You glared at the brutes, and I shared your baleful gaze. Their disrespect would not have been tolerated if the child had not been present.
You bow and snort playfully at the child as a farewell, taking the dove in my hands back into your jaws before running off back to the forest. Your home.
I help the child's mother up from the ground, and carry the child up the hill. They're tired, it's past their bedtime. The brutes stare at me incredulously as I glower at them while walking past.
I spend the night awake after that. The scentless ichor that dripped from the dove's wounds, the visceral unsettlement I'd felt while holding it, how its figure had shifted unnaturally in my hands and your jaws keeping me from resting.
That was an angel. They'd sent an angel to kill that child in your forest.
Such a tiny child, incapable of doing any wrong, and yet they'd been all too willing to sacrifice them to instil the fear of the wild, the fear of you, back inside this village. After all the good you'd done, the successful hunts you'd sanctioned in the hunting grounds of your home....
I grasped my bone-steel knife you'd made for me after I'd helped you bury one of your kin, infused with your very power and strength. It's stayed under my floorboards for months now, I've not had the heart to use it. I felt as if any usage of it would be of disrespect to you.
But now, as I steel myself and begin gathering salt, candles and half of my money from where I store it? As fury burns inside of me like a pyre at the utter guts they had to try and kill one of my own to prove naught but a silly little argument that they were too stubborn to admit they were wrong about?
I feel a wild energy pulse through the knife as I stare out my window, gritting my teeth as I think of plunging the knife I clutch in my hand into the chest of a bastard who ruined my life before and seeks to do it again. I think of watching as black ichor streams out of their wounds as you and I raid their sacred halls of false innocence and purity.
This use for our knife is a compliment to you.
#Cardwork Poetry#not rw#tags from last poetry thing still stand btw#no romantic intentions here it is Purely like. me thinking about Myself and how I Am and using this to communicate that#and as such the Guy and the Beast are both technically Me. They are both Me and its weird but they're kinda like siblings#so. yea :3c#this is related to the last writing thing btw!! a bit of a darker thing but yk#writing#writers on tumblr#btw if you get the lil reference to lead poisoning i put in here ily <33 it was intentional.#ALSO ok ok last part but. its meant to be ambiguous whether or not the people who Sent the angel are like.#religious people or just straight up A God and their archangels. like it can be read either way bc it doesnt matter#since the Dude is gonna fucking kill them anyways <3
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Sleepover time again: based on my tumblr, tell me what you think i’m like irl
Based on your url im gonna say that you enjoy poetry (at least I think it's the title of a poetry book?), in which case, here's my favorite poem:
ooh okay so pt. 1: based on your tumblr I think you get very excited about things in a way that the right people in your life find endearing. it's possible this was framed as a bad thing when you were younger and/or you got labeled as a bit of a weird kid but tbh who on tumblr wasn't? and now your passion for things is a big part of what brings you together with friends and also makes you happy so if I got this part right then yay! I get this vibe in part from your tags (both quantity and quality) and also just the variety and types of things you post/reblog
I also think you're a great friend irl, the kind of person who will hype up your friends' accomplishments and celebrate with them but also be there for them when they need to vent or problem solve or just need to feel like someone's on their side. and I think you're a very loyal friend too
hmm I can't tell as easily if you're more introverted or extroverted, maybe very comfortable and open around people you're familiar with but not a fan of being around strangers? or maybe I'm just projecting lol
okay last assumption based on your blog, I think you also love creative pursuits especially as a means of storytelling. either variations and spinoffs of existing stories or original stores, through writing, reading, art, maybe crafts, and I feel like I've seen you post about dnd? and because of all that I also think irl you're very cool in a bit-of-a-nerd way (the best way tbh)
okay pt. 2 based on my url: you're 100% right, girls-and-honey is based on the poetry book milk and honey by Rupi Kaur! poetry has gotten me through a lot and it's effectively my version of journaling when I need to think / feel through things
idk how to express the way poems like the one you shared make me lose my mind !! anything that plays with structural composition AND in a way that adds another piece that can stand on its own and adds even more meaning to the overall piece is one of my favorite flavors of poetry and that's the easiest way I can think to describe it if that makes sense? this is going to sit at the front of my mind for at least the rest of the day thank you so much I genuinely love this <333 (I'm internally screaming still btw)
sleepover time is all the time!
#oops I wrote more than I thought#I stand by all of it though#also I'm !!! not exaggerating i'm obsessed with this poem#I keep a journal with some favorites written out and narcissus and echo is definitely getting added#and thank you for asking <3#asks
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first lines
i was tagged by @lukejulies
rules: list the first lines of your last 20 stories (if you have less than 20, just list them all!). see if there are any patterns. choose your favourite opening line. then tag 10 of your favourite authors!
1. untitled poem - original work
You drown in your own blood.
2. beyond the wardrobe - The Chronicles of Narnia
England is a cold, wet, foggy thing after Narnia’s blooming springs, trembling with a war none of them can reach.
3. on narnia’s god, an indictment by the tarkheena lasaraleen. - The Chronicles of Narnia
your scimitar is dripping iron, again
onto my silk sheets
onto my painted lips
and smeared across my chest
4. untitled poem - original work
i know where your plates are - blinded
i know where you keep your pots
still steam-damp
still iron-cast
5. the artist’s studio - original work
somewhere, caught between a setting sun and a rising moon, paint-splattered and trembling, there lies an artist’s studio.
6. to the radiant sun: - The Chronicles of Narnia
over a salt-white world;
frozen still
there sets a dying sun
spilling all that has once lived
from its light -
tightly woven, gold studded choked.
7. untitled fragment - original work
my darling; iron-tongued
pearl studded and sea-foaming,
alive still.
8. untitled poem - original work
my darling, my glass-spun sweet: take my hands -
with your bloody teeth
and your bottomless stomach.
9. Orpheus asks for his love back from within Persephone’s chest - Greek Mythology
my mother tends to her gardens like they’re something holy dripping from her fingertips.
10. fourfold canopy - original work
sometimes, at night
when the streetlights flicker
and the air stands
suspended; still
I open all my windows
and all my doors
just to watch the night sky;
tar-black and star-dotted
with things that have long since lost their shine
11. the kiss. - Julie and the Phantoms
I have found a stone, this morning, and in it, I found the world.
12. sharded skies - The Chronicles of Narnia
the skies are empty – white
or maybe filled to the brim
with all that Narnia has swallowed whole
when it was aching
and new, still.
13. bottled worlds - original work
in the mornings
just before the sun rises
and the moon has not yet set
the world stands still;
fogged.
14. swallowed; whole - original work
my mother says I was born with the world at the tip of my tongue
15. julie. - Julie and the Phantoms
You are born into a glass-shard world, built on your father’s grief dripping from the roof of his mouth into his lungs in an ever changing tide tied to a moon that no longer has light to reflect.
16. deep within your closet - original work
there’s a monster hiding in your closet, its claws turned inwards and buried deep in your flesh.
17. buchgebunden - The Old Guard
I think I want –
my son’s hands in mine
my wife’s life scraped onto metal
this blood to stay wet and red
and just blood.
18. heartbreak - Julie and the Phantoms
sometimes
at night
in the mornings
my father play guitar
until his fingers bleed
19. long since gone - Julie and the Phantoms
Carrie is a dream of bubblegum-pink sugar spun about her microphone – with a giggle or a sigh or a song, her cheeks flushed, her world held up by her voice buried somewhere in her chest.
20. pearls - original work
i think the world might have tilted over its edge, my dear.
ok phew that was a lot. 20 is a LOT of links to dig up :D I think my favourite is the first line from julie. just because i like the thing with the tides. as for patterns - i think we are all aware that i love a metaphor :DD
btw if you like my writing please follow me on @glasswaters and i’m also working on a poetry collection!
I tag @aikatxt @mlrio and whoever else would like to do this!
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9, 10, 27!
@listered | — ⊱asks for muns with a multimuse or more than one muse⊰
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-. 9. why were you drawn to each one of your characters?
Since I covered all of my original characters here already - and it got about as messy and long as you’d expect - it is time for me to dedicate this space to Héloïse, and why she drew me in.
The simplest way to put this would be I adore the movie and love her, but I’d like to go a little deeper than that.
This film is to me poetry of the tragic likes of Leopardi taken form in a story I could actually feel for. The nearly complete lack of background the characters received forces you to focus only on the now of the film, on the women they are when they appear on screen, to judge them for what you see, and the things they want you to know about them. We don’t get last names, birthplaces, we don’t get details on the convent, pictures of it. All we get is the story as it is being told, through the lenses of an artist, nonetheless. Every camera angle, every shot filled with next to nothing but silence and unspoken thoughts, this film is art.
And Héloïse is the centre of it all. She’s the goal, the loss, the change, the plot acting on the character, the character acting on the plot. She’s just so very beautiful in the contrast between how mature she can be as she stands her ground, how adult she is, and how child-like her demands can sometimes be, that scene where she says goodbye to her mother in the way ‘she used to’, how she’s a woman forced to live a life she doesn’t want to live, how her time in the convent have kept her stuck in a lack of knowledge of the world in a factual sense usually attributed to children and her curiosity to learn more, and how the pain of losing so much and never being granted everything, of being pushed around and have her wishes left unheard and trapped within her chest gave her an outlook on like and a knowledge of the world that is painfully aged.
Héloïse is beautiful, so so so beautiful. Her anger, and her love, and her pain, and her intelligence, and her stubbornness, her everything is so so so so human. When I first wanted to write her, I didn’t know why. I explained it because I fell in love with her along with Marianne as I watched the film, that I simply adored her, attributed it to that scene when she turns around for the first time and I lost my breath. But it’s what I saw in that scene that drew me in: I lost my breath because I must have seen that Héloïse is literally La jeune fille un feu. She IS the film. And to hope to one day be able to encompass in my writing all of what the film gives us and what Héloïse is... it would be an honour.
-. 10. which muse is the most fun to write for?
That would depend entirely on my mood, I think! And on what I’m looking for in my writing on any given day. I have the utmost fun writing Nathaniel when I’m looking to write something that is unapologetic, something where I don’t have to hold back for whatever character-central reason, because he’s someone who speaks as he wishes and does as he does. When I’m looking for something silly and care-free, something without the need for plotting, Yoshino is always the most fun to choose, for she’s an easy character to write. I also have a lot of fun writing themes that aren’t… you know, fun. Seona is fun to write because of her crass and disinterested nature, and her being in great contrast to all of my other muses, her confidence and her demeanour. Taejoo & Jungwoo who are heavily driven and influenced by their traumatic experiences are fun to write when I’m looking to explore something more serious in Jungwoo, or how even the worst of neglects and parental mistreatment can lead to a near-infinite amount of gentleness and what is actually submission perceived as the only means to survival, in Taejoo. If I’m looking for a character that stimulates me intellectually, that demands higher vocabulary due to the character’s nature of expressing themselves or how they think, Catharina & Patrick become apparent choices, with Kangmin closing in.
BUT if I had to pick a muse that is simply, unconditionally, incredibly fun to write, because every time I do write them, it just makes me FEEL good and giddy and puts me in a good mood and makes the world a little brighter, the title would go to and get shared between Junghoon & Sabriel, because I love them.
At the end of the day, though, it DOES depend on my mindspace: if I’m looking for something tense, something dark, something mean, Nathaniel would be a lot more fun to write than Lotte.
-. 27. is there a rule that someone keeps breaking for your muses?
Not… per se, actually. I don’t have any character-specific rules and all of my actual rules are… pretty basic stuff that no one’s ever crossed or attempted to break during mythvoiced’s run time, the only thing I can think of that comes even remotely close is a few occasions of misgendering in Sabriel’s regards that have left me a little confused. I have used the wrong pronouns on two occasions myself, two singular uses of ‘he’ while I did stick to ‘they’ for the rest of the thread, so I realize that sometimes writing text in pronouns one isn’t used to associate to certain faces can be tricky – and continued effort should be put in, which is what I will continue to do to the best of my abilities – but it seemed odd to me that ‘he’ was used when everything involving Sabriel (safe for an early open, which used ‘she’) that can be found on my blog, from their stats, to their threads, to the tags in posts relating to them, the pronouns they/them reign superior in a 98% of the cases, so it made me feel like their stats hadn’t actually been checked beforehand, and it’s kickstarted a knee-jerk habit of me stating ‘they’re pronouns are they/them, btw :3’ whenever discussing my nonbinary/genderqueer muses, rather than solely naturally using they/them while describing them because it doesn’t guarantee that those pronouns would be used in turn. I realize, it’s sorta my fault, for stating ‘they/she/he/ as their pronouns on the muse page and their stats and never correcting them when I realized, through writing them, that Sabriel doesn’t connect to she/her & he/him at all rather than just slightly, but… still?
Either way, I will get to changing their stats now ♥
#listered#;ooc#;to be tagged#when i say i squealed#THANK YOU SO SO SO SO SO MUCH for sending these in ;;;;;WWWWWW;;;;;;#and of course thank you for your interest as well ♥♥♥♥♥#a:#;queue
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I get that interview was HBO forced but it sounds insane when last season, he was saying Jaime needed to get away from her for good. I mean no nice post about Gwen after the last ep. I dont believe it was about not wanting to stir the hornet's nest if him and B didnt get together as he posted a huge loving one about Lena and that was a very controversial part of the plot. If hed know posted a gwen one saying"sorry JB didnt get a happy ending but here's me and Gwen in happier times" i dont get it
I think it’s very weird too…Imma analyze it. Not that I’m gonna reach any solid conclusion but I will just lay out all my thoughts.
Whatever the reason Nik doesn’t post or reply publicly to Gwen is, it has nothing to do with his personal preference for Braime or Jaime x Cersei. Even if we make the insane assumption that Nik appreciated that Jaime dumped Brienne to return to murderous Cersei and die with her without serving any purpose in the main plot (what lead actor of 8+ years would ever like being unimportant in the ending plot) and saw “pOeTRy” in it, it still doesn’t explain why he should prefer posting about Lena over Gwen. We would be naive to think he made a post about Lena and not Gwen because he prefers Cersei to Brienne. So, we still have no clear evidence of what Nik’s private thoughts and feelings are for his character after the ending.
Here’s what we have:
We have two interviews: one with HBO rofl and one with that journalist who collaborates with HBO and was an insider (I’m not gonna search his name) in which he stans Jaime’s choices, his love for Cersei and the tragic poetry in it all. Then we have him promoting the episodes and the documentary in his instagram and twitter, however he is entirely emotionally detached from his character and his fate. I would say he lowkey looks entertained in his weird af episode promo videos and secretly amused while filming the “thank you” video after the last episode where he says “Come on, it was great” and suggests a petition for an Arya (huh?) sequel.
We have two videos uploaded on yt with him: one is a video of a stalker in which Nik looks uncomfortable and passes the question to the random guy next to him who apparently happens to be a GOT fan, have an elaborate opinion on the last season, hate D&D and think they threw away Jaime’s beautiful character arc. What are the odds…The second is a skit in Jimmy Kimmel in which Nik drags his own character by making him stupid and clumsy, a sad little being because of his maiming and, most importantly, an unrepentant sister fucker. All of Jaime’s worst qualities displayed for laughs, plus that he’s actually a likeable but very stupid person. The skit ends with a dragon randomly burning him and his family alive and those credits
So, we have straightforward criticism towards D&D by Kimmel and NCW actually participates in it. This is what this skit means - that this level of writing, this kind of lame character and that ludicrous death is something that only Benioff and Weiss would like to produce. And, well, the Olsen sisters (although I think they’re cleverer than that).
So, we have two videos where NCW’s intentions are dubious AT BEST.
Then we have all the promos. When left to speak on his own, Nikolaj would say how the ending was beautiful and made sense and he once mentioned he sent a letter to thank them for this genius plot…Right. But then when asked or caught off guard (1:04):
youtube
Nobody tries to sugarcoat it, look at the title of the video: … NCW is ‘happy’. Then of course we have our Lady and Saviour Gwen who tries not to laugh as Nik struggles to find what to say and not just stand up and flee.
Also, this one. The best one:
youtube
I could make a thousand gifs for this but just watch again the entire video:
0:07 - Gwen’s face when Nik says he thought the script was fantastic
1:13 - “N-no..NO!!!” when asked if he would change something in the ending and Gwen’s reaction to that. Then, our leader Gwen proceeds to mock him: “So, it’s an immaculate- It’s immaculate?” to which Nik impulsively replies: “NO!” and goes on “do you ever read a book and think you want to rewrite this?” which implies, that yes he would want to rewrite it but knows he can’t.
(3:03 - 3:06) - VERY IMPORTANT ONE. When Gwen wondered who was closer to predicting the actual ending, Nik says “I was, yeah” and OMG look at Gwen’s face. It’s very subtle but she’s trying to communicate with her eyes a “WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT” to him without being seen by the interviewer. It’s kind of a wife done with her husband’s shit look tbh, that level of subtlety. And Nik answers back with his eyes in equal subtlety and it’s like he says a “What? I truly was right lol….”. To me, this seems to mean that Nik always knew or feared that D&D would eventually destroy all his work and was eventually proven right. Unless this all is about Dany being killed by Jon but I doubt at this point Nik and Gwen cared enough to go all cryptic and eye communicating for this. No, it was about them.
3:09 - Nik is surprised and then clearly amused at the information by the interviewer that Kit was the one who came closer with his prediction. He can’t hide his smile and says an ironic “good for him” while looking knowingly at Gwen who then says this must be a lie. This shows that it is known amongst the actors that most of them are disappointed and Kit was one of them. Both Nik and Gwen apparently knew Kit hated his ending too and would never expect this to be how the show would wrap up. BTW that writing and that backlash really got to Kit, I hope he recovers soon. But think about this, Kit went into rehab for stress and alcohol, Emilia was devastated and gave a somewhat concerning interview and Nik’s public behaviour regarding GOT is inconsistent and unpredictable. I am thus assuming the writing of the final season and the backlash fucked them up way more than they let on.
This interview is a gem but here’s the most important part, perhaps the core of what baffles us:
1:32 - After all the miserable no-nos poor Nik mumbles, Gwen tells Nik what we all think: “I think it’s just a question, you know? Maybe you want to answer it?”
Of course he’s in a total loss for words. Literally, he doesn’t make any sense. Some incoherent sounds come out of his mouth and that’s it. This can mean two things: either he truly thinks the ending is perfect or the ending made him such a mess that he can’t even process it verbally two years later.
Either Gwen is much braver and Nik is extemely paranoid or Nik actually has many more restrictions in what he is allowed to say. I believe Gwen wanted Nikolaj to be as open as her about it and she still tries to make him open up but he doesn’t. In all the promos without exception, Gwen looks as if she knows Nik is full of shit and secretly agrees with her. If Gwen knows that for a fact, then we can’t argue and it’s actually what makes sense anyway. Nikolaj agrees with Gwen but is not eager to discuss it openly yet, or ever. This could be because he is very professional or because he doesn’t want to get a bad name as a “backstabber” of his projects or it might be a situation of a more sensitive nature.
If those rumours that the S8 script was changed are true, then Nik and Lena might have had a serious breakdown with D&D and a negotiation might have taken place. For instance, Nik and Lena were really unnecessary in E6, Nik’s scene in E1 could have been eliminated as well and Lena does not appear in E3. Yes, they are big actors but paying them 1,2 million for every episode seems a tad excessive when Emilia and Kit are now famous too and have like 300% times more screentime. All this is wild speculation but maybe they stretched their appearance in the episodes as much as possible and gave them a good amount of money to agree on the butchering of their characters and their importance as former lead actors. I mean, especially Lena was downgraded to a secondary character in this season. Lena had to really fight to see her salary rise in the previous seasons. And now it’s a million for every episode? Wow. How many minutes was she staring out of the window in S8? Maybe they were silenced and payed a shitload of money to stop complaining and promote the show and praise the writing as what it was supposed to be. Maybe they payed them in order to promote Peter, Kit and Emilia for the Emmys instead, who knows. When so much money is involved, things can get frustrating in ways we don’t even fathom. This is wild and rough speculation but all I’m saying is there may be reasons Nik avoids talking freely about his character that we can’t know.
Besides, it’s not just a Gwen problem. It is not a Gwen problem. Gwen revealed she sent a “Jaime is a fuckboi” meme to Nik privately and he answered playfully as ever (but again as if he’s in denial). They posted a story together a couple of weeks ago. Nik did not just ignore Gwen’s instagram post. Daniel Portman posted the photo and tagged Nikolaj too. Nik ignored him as well. Bryan Cogman, who Nik and Gwen owe a lot to, commented under the photo in a very sweet and emotional way. Guess what, Nik ignored him too! It’s ridiculous to think Nikolaj has stopped communicating and caring about Gwen AND Daniel AND Bryan just because his character returned to Cersei. Furthermore, the fact that they all keep tagging him shows they don’t think their relationships with him have become tense.
That’s not it. It’s not about Gwen. The only way that Gwen is involved in all this is that she wants Nikolaj to open up so that he would give a little acknowledgement to her character and the relationship with Jaime because she feels very much for Brienne. I’m sad to say, however, that it seems to me that Nik did not take that blow more lightly than Gwen. In fact, his behaviour is more inconsistent and troubling whereas Gwen’s openness about it made her confront that sore subject more healthily after all. I start believing Nik was actually way more devastated than Gwen. At least Brienne remained a decent character, ever faithful to her ideals, ever innerly strong. Jaime was entirely trashed, let alone that he was supposed to be a main character. If Nik can’t even handle a photo that reminds him of his destroyed character arc, I wouldn’t be surprised. Maybe Gwen wants Nik to open up so much for his benefit as well - he keeps it bottled up and she might know first hand how that affects him.
Long story short, the reasons Nik doesn’t post anything about his feelings for Jaime’s character arc, his relationship with Brienne and his collaboration with Gwen probably are both professional, after begrudging deals and agreements and restrictions from HBO, and very personal, inner and private, as he’s still trying to cope with a disappointment that crushed down on him from what used to be his dream job and a role he hoped would be a (or the) peak of his career. I bet all these years Nik was hopeful Jaime would be extremely important and fully redeemed in the end but also extremely scared and anxious that the writers won’t give him what he hoped for and what made sense. Would I exaggerate if I said this should be the biggest professional disappointment he ever experienced, provided that he didn’t like the character’s ending?
From everything Gwen has said about him, I have surmised that Nik is very emotional and anxious but with a very blasé and superficially amiable attitude. He avoids expessing emotion in real life which is why he might be dissociating a lot lately. He tries to distance himself from that part of Jaime’s character that involved Bryan and Gwen because this is the part that he loved and lost. Honestly, I can’t think of any other logical reason he ignored Gwen, Dan and Bryan one after the other and never made a post about his own character specifically or his good times with Gwen. It’s obviously not that he suddenly hates all of them to the point of not even replying. Even if HBO restricts him on what he can say in interviews for a while, there is no other explanation for this other than that D&D’s genius writing fucked him up emotionally as much as Emilia and Kit and he does not want to deal with it even though Gwen probably thinks it would be for the best if he did.
Now after I wrote all this, imagine if Nikolaj actually doesn’t give a shit and is just happy going on with his life while I am here wasting time. But… I don’t think so. I will never not believe Nik didn’t love Jaime to pieces. He had big dreams for this role, I am sure of it.
#nikolaj coster waldau#jaime lannister#gwendoline christie#nik and gwen#jaime x brienne#braime#got negativity#more
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Fic-Writer / Vid-Maker Meme
Tagged by @educatedinyellow and @gailbsanders, thank you!
Author/Vidder Name: sanguinity
Fandoms You Write For: Lately it’s mostly book!verse Hornblower and ACD!Holmes (although the ACD!Holmes is largely behind the scenes with a long-form WIP that I’ve been focusing on). I also write for assorted small Holmesian fandoms as the whim or prompts take me, and I used to write fairly prolifically for Elementary, before that show wore me into the ground with how persistently they don’t care about Joan Watson. I’ve written a fair bit of Strange Empire, some Doctor Who / Torchwood, and quite a few one-offs in random fandoms, from the Oz books to Terminator: Sarah Connor Chronicles.
Fandoms I Vid For: Mostly one-offs or small batches that overlap with the fandoms I write for: Holmesian multiverse, Terminator: Sarah Connor Chronicles, plus a number of rarer Festivids-qualifying fandoms like The Middleman or Noah’s Arc.
Where You Post Fic: Most of it is on AO3, excepting some three-sentence and five-sentence fics that I’ve never collected.
Where You Post Vids: Variously Vimeo, YouTube, and DailyMotion, depending on who threw a fit about what copyrighted music the week I posted it, but all my vids are listed at AO3.
Most Popular One-Shot: “The Sincerity of Dust,” a BBC Sherlock Mystrade flash-fic I banged out one morning and which then went on to eat Cleveland. It has 1400 kudos and is working on 14,000 hits. Its nearest rival is “Score: Q to 12,″ an Elementary flash-fic featuring Sherlock and Joan playing Calvinscrabble, which performed modestly on AO3 but cleaned up on tumblr to the tune of 1700 notes.
Most Popular Multi-Chapter Story: “Holocene Park,” an Elementary case fic featuring dinosaurs under the streets of New York City. If I’m remembered in the Elementary fandom for anything, it’s probably for this or Calvinscrabble.
Most Popular Vid: “Something Good (Will Come From That),” my Holmes/Watson multiverse vid. It has 10K plays, the AO3 page has 2.5K hits, and the tumblr page has almost 800 notes. It escaped my corner of pseudonym-based AO3-centric fandom and has made the rounds of the Sherlockian scions on Facebook, as well as being rec’d on non-fannish websites in French, German, and Japanese. For a little while there it was making me anxious with how popular it got -- at the height of its popularity, I was worrying my mom was going to email it to me. After it hit it big I almost completely stopped making things for a while, because I was pretty sure that nothing else I made would be even half that good ever again. Happily, that turned out to be a stupid reason to not make things, and so I started making things again.
Favorite Story You Wrote/Vid You Made: Yeah, sorry, no, my brain burns out on “favorite” questions, especially ones that have no criteria. I’ll just refer you to my Fic/Vid Speed-Dating Score Card, which can be construed as a list of my favorite works on various axes, and is still fairly accurate despite being a year old. (Scariest nowadays is probably “Tea for Two,” a Moriarty-centric story from this last round of Holmestice.)
Story You Were Nervous to Post: “Any Service Required,” which is dark Bush/Hornblower porn. I always feel hideously exposed when publishing porn -- I’m nervous about posting it even in the best of cases. But what with this being dark-fic, I was half-expecting the self-appointed morals police who get prescriptive about “healthy” relationships to show up and make a stink. Or along similar lines, I was fearing that followers who are used to a certain kind of thing from me will look at this one, think it base trash, and lose respect for me over it. I’m happy to say that nothing like that has happened so far, and while readership has been light, I’m fine with that: I’d rather a story have a small readership who is genuinely into it than a large readership who isn’t, and I’d like to believe that this story’s small readership is mostly due to people taking a look at the tags and making good decisions about the kind of thing they enjoy reading.
How Do You Choose Your Titles: BY ANY MEANS I CAN MAKE WORK. My preference is to grab a meaningful phrase from the text, but I’ll also use quotes and popular phrases, sometimes straight-up and sometimes with a twist, if it seems a decent fit for the story. Ideally, a title will speak to some deeper truth about the story, but when push comes to shove, I’ll settle for a title that is short, clean, and memorable: basically, anything that I and others can remember without having to look it up all the damn time. (This is my main problem with people using lines of poetry or song lyrics as titles: they tend to register in my brain as generic word salad, and in many cases I couldn’t say without looking it up what the title actually was, let alone what it had to do with the story.)
Do You Outline: For long or complex stories, sure, yes. If there are many scenes or multiple chapters, I tend to jot down a few lines listing out the succession of scenes or chapters; for “The Next World,” whose main body is a long and rambly conversation, I had an outline that listed out every twist and turn of that convo. The outline for “Langstroth on Bees” (WIP, currently 58K) is a monster of a thing, listing out the internal timeline (five years of current action plus another ten of backstory), various promises I’ve made that I need to deliver on, assorted events that I want to remember to include, and rough ideas about where chapter breaks should maybe fall. Given that I’ve been working on that story for five years now, often with breaks from it of nearly a year, that outline has saved my ass. I guarantee you that without it, I would have picked up this story at some point, tried to remember where I was going with it, come up with nothing much, and shelved it permanently. If anything, I really should outline more often -- I have a few long-standing drafts in my WIP folder that I just... don’t remember where I was going with that. I remember that I did have a destination in mind, yes, but what exactly? WHO KNOWS. Btw, my outlines are living documents -- I revise them often, as my understanding of the story develops. In fact, revising the outline is one of many tools for understanding where a story is going and what is still needed to bring it together.
How many of your fanworks are…
Complete: 92 stories or story collections (I have a few AO3 “stories” that are actually collected ficlets from tumblr or Sherlock60), and 26 vids and vidlets,
In-Progress: Nothing published to AO3 -- it makes me crazy to have a partially-published WIP. My drafts folder has 36 partially completed stories in it, and there are probably a half-dozen vids that I started but haven’t finished.
Coming Soon: Four? For various values of “coming soon.” I have two Hornblower stories that are mostly done (one for the Tegmore verse and another for the Kraken verse), and I’ve been working steadily on “Langstroth on Bees” in the hopes that I’ll finish it this year. And I’m signed up for Remix Revival -- whatever I do for that will probably be the very-most-next thing.
Do You Accept Prompts: Yes! Although I have only a 1/3 to 1/2 completion rate on prompts -- I do hope that no one minds that too terribly! But I’ll actively solicit prompts from time to time -- to celebrate something, or if I’m having a shit day and want to turn it around -- and some of my best stuff has come from prompts people have given me. I never ever guarantee filling them (see my above mentioned completion rate), but if someone wants to prompt me something, my ask box is open. Even if the prompt never gets filled, I still get a warm flutter of “They want to play with me!” from it.
Upcoming Story You Are Most Excited to Write: “Langstroth on Bees,” a 58K-and-counting Holmes/Watson retirement fic that I’ve been working for five years. I added a solid 13K to it this month, and have maybe 20K left to go -- I’m hope-hope-hoping to have it done this year. But I’ve gotten far enough into it that “Langstroth” has finally begun overlapping the territory covered in “From Allegany,” and by the end of this chapter I’ll have passed it entirely. Then I’ll be in unwritten territory, wheee! (Speaking of titles, I never really intended to call this thing “Langstroth on Bees” -- that’s just a working title for my drafts folder. But enough of you now know it by that name that I think I’m going to have to stick with it? So I’m desperately trying to figure out how to justify it. ONE OF MANY THINGS TO DO IN THIS DRAFT.)
Tag Five Fanfic Authors to Answer These Questions As Well: @beanarie @quipxotic @phoenixfalls @xserpx @amindamazed And of course anyone else who wants to play!
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Hiiii~ sorry to bother, but do you have any FrUK fanfic recommendations? You seem to like this ship a lot so I figured you read a lot of fanfics. Sorry if I'm bothering you btw,,
it’s no bother ^_^ and yep, i have a LOT OF RECS! (oh boy)
before you begin, i should let you know that i have a bias for certain themes, so these tropes may reflect in my list -*anything that doesn’t blatantly state “uke!england” or “seme!france”…*friendship, pining ;;*quirky/humour*consent
without further ado, here’s my list :D (to keep things simple, i will only be recommending fics that are complete! it is sorted by rating followed by word count) -
ARCHIVEOFOUROWN:
NATIONVERSE
La Douleur Exquise by DoritoDuck (Flightlesskiwi)
Beautifully descriptive ;v;
Rating: General | Wordcount: 811Fruk-centric; pining but also established relationship
Jane Eyre by Fudgyokra
I love fics like this one- with france being a teasing sap.
Rating: General | Wordcount: 1139Fruk-centric (with a bit more France)
Of Lily Petals and Rose Thorns by pantheralupus
Fruk as kids on Valentine’s day; france being in love with love (and england) :D
Rating: General | Wordcount: 2488Fruk-centric.
Darling, Let Us Be Quiet by saunatonttu
just… England being self-deprecating, lonely and trying to breathe past his anxiety. France makes it just a tad more bearable.
Rating: General | Wordcount: 5606ENG-centric.
Comme des enfants by newamsterdam
England looks after de-aged France. a really sweet fic ^^
Rating: General | Wordcount: 15096ENG-centric.
Match Point by Fishwichformylove
Quite suggestive but really light and funny ^_^
Rating: Teen+ | Wordcount: 1098Fruk-centric; established relationship
and we carry on by courfelicious
Domestic; development of their relationship (including the fights and arguments as well as romance ;; )
Rating: Teen+ | Wordcount: 1824Fruk-centric (with a bit more England), a pinch of FACE
Second-Hand Smoke by Shachaai
new years kiss: pining + denial = oh no.
Rating: Teen+ | Wordcount: 2857ENG-centric.
behind closed doors, with open hearts by saunatonttu
Terribly, terribly romantic.
Rating: Teen+ | Wordcount: 6764ENG-centric, they’re this close to being in love already (ffs)
It’s Hard for Me to say “I Love You” (But I do!) by Antimisma
i don’t remember much of this fic but i tagged it as ‘fav fruk fic ever.’ so it must be good x)
Rating: Teen+ | Wordcount: 9226ENG-centric; bucketloads of angst and pining
Table Manners by boudicca
OK I DISTINCTLY REMEMBER THIS FIC BC IT’S SO FUNNY AND I LOVE SNARKY ENGLAND
Rating: Mature | Wordcount: 844ENG-centric… there’s handjobs
The Colour of Love by wintersyzygy
Twisted, unfiltered passion.
Rating: Mature | Wordcount: 1178ENG-centric, friends-with-benefits
don’t let the sun set on us by kevystel
France has commitment issues but he still wants England.
Rating: Mature | Wordcount: 5090Fruk-centric (a bit more England)
What Love? by FinduilasLissesul
it’s classic friends-with-benefits to lovers ^_^
Rating: Explicit | Wordcount: 32296Fruk-centric (a bit more England)
HISTORICAL FRUK
Historical Hetalia (FrUK) by crashedtimemachine (snowonpalecheeks)
A series of historical fruk ;;
Rating: General - Mature | Wordcount: 12965spans the beginning of their relationship to the day France passes marriage equality in 2013. ENG-centric (the first fic in the series)
Mon Cher Ennemi by LM_Artless (MariekoWest)
Some gore + death but ultimately bitterly sweet.
Rating: Teen+ | Wordcount: 3516set during WW2ENG-centric (he speaks french)
A Glass of Wine by fierysuzaku
Mainly reflection and nostalgia with some cutting banter ^^
Rating: Teen+ | Wordcount: 4524includes their childhood and some FACE FR-centric, has a theme of poetry
A Portrait of England by ZaliaChimera
France takes care of England after he is left bedridden and blinded. Romance.
Rating: Teen+ | Wordcount: 5113set after the Great WarENG-centric.
To Betray The People by hybridempress
heavy angst + fruk friendship, i adore this fic!
Rating: Teen+ | Wordcount: 6863Warning: Temporary Character DeathFR-centric; set during the French Rev.
L'Entente Maladroite by maxcellwire
i’ve read this fic three times already..
Rating: Teen+ | Wordcount: 13716set during the the War of the Quadruple Alliance, 1718-1720 (eng and fr are allies)Fruk-centric, a bit of FACE family
Your Excuse (For A Lover) by InTheLoft
get ready for centuries of war, heartbreak and pining. imo this is one of the most heartbreaking historical fruk fics ever written.
Rating: Teen+ | Wordcount: 23714from 1066 to 1994 (pretty much nearly spans the entirety of their relationship)Warning: violence, character deaths (most are temporary), dissociation at one point (further warnings are in the author notes)
Hurricane Verse by newamsterdam
This is a series with two works, one complete. It’s been a long time since I last read it but it is tagged as one of my faves! It’s mainly France being hurt and uncooperative hahah
Rating: Teen - Mature | Wordcount: 27437WW2Fruk-centric (a bit more England I think?)
If Loyalties Lie by GhostoftheMotif, qualapec
ANGST. Not quite romantic- I remember this fic very briefly but I have it marked as one of my fave fruk fics ever :o
Rating: Teen+ | Wordcount: 29690post WW2 (includes Prussia’s dissolution if I remember correctly) FR-centric, some Pru/Fra and BTT
The One I Trust by celestialenigma
trans male England; this fic really stands out in my mind :’)
Rating: Mature (mild smut) | Wordcount: 9059Fruk-centric (with a bit more England), a bit of Jeanne d’Arc
gonna give my heart away by kevystel
epitome of a love-hate relationship between these two honestly.
Rating: Explicit | Wordcount: 4801Fruk-centric, friends-with-benefits to lovers.
HUMAN AU
it’s a quiet time, but it’s not solitude by [orphan_account]
It’s just england admiring France softly and sweetly, that’s all *heart clenches* god I wish this fic was longer. can be intepreted as nationverse if you wish.
Rating: General | Wordcount: 726ENG-centric; established relationship
The Love Song of Arthur J. Kirkand by mikkey_bones
Romantic and domestic with a side of banter x)
Rating: General | Wordcount: 2755ENG-centric; grad school
Demain, Qui Sait? by snark_sniper
Francis is planning Arthur and Alfred’s wedding.. but he falls for Arthur.
Rating: not officially rated, but it’s G I think | Wordcount: 24956FR-centric, some USUK, Rus/Ame and BTT, past France/Jeanne
What We Remember by bearwald
Burning romance, poetry and art.
Rating: Teen+ | Wordcount: 1106Fruk-centric, they’re roommates in college/uni
What Happens In Vegas by DemonicCharm
France and england accidentally get married and they go to great lengths to make each others lives miserable xD
Rating: Teen+ | Wordcount: 28544Fruk-centric (with a bit more England), BTT, brief Jap/Eng
Divulging Peculiarities by DestineyTot
Vampire!francis; this fic really left an impression on me x)
Rating: Teen+ | Wordcount: 29442ENG-centric, lonely pining hahah
CARDVERSE
Heavy is the Crown by 0Rocky41_7
this fic was a ride from start to finish holy heck ft. arthur in denial
Rating: Teen+ | Wordcount: 56445ENG-centric (some parts are from F’s pov)
FANFICTION.NET
NATIONVERSE
Surprise, Surprise byjoyouswolves
The one time England is a gentleman to France and France is hopelessly charmed :’)
Rating: General | Wordcount: 2818Fruk-centric (a bit more France)
When I Fall by hopefulmemoir
England has depression. France notices.
Rating: General | Wordcount: 3531ENG-centric; fruk friendship.
Not Jealous by Darkfire75
France purposely embarrasses England bc he’s jelly.
Rating: Teen+ | Wordcount: 1476FR-centric; establishedrelationship.
Chalk Hearts by ApplesauceLady
France is passive-aggressively jelly of China.
Rating: Teen+ | Wordcount: 2800FR-centric; establishedrelationship.
A Blind Man’s Quest by marinoa
England accidentally blinds himself, and despite his stubborness France insists on helping him through it.
Rating: Teen+ | Wordcount: 7177ENG-centric.
On The Red Street Of Dover by Lynn Kroto
Mutual longing and pining.
Rating: Teen+ | Wordcount: 9120Fruk-centric.
Running Passions by SpeakingThroughWrittenWordcount
50% smut, 50% humour.
Rating: Mature | Wordcount: 5476ENG-centric; established relationship.
HISTORICAL FRUK
Laissez-Faire Love by oh-cripe-my-fish
Passion and romance. France is bi af.
Rating: Mature | Wordcount: 62081187, 1715, 2008.Fruk-centric.
HUMAN AU
A Fitting Color by Geekies
Oh man I’m reccing this fic for Arthur alone. He’s absolutely endearing in this fic. and Francis is being French.
Rating: General | Wordcount:29239Office AU; Francis is a fashion designer and Arthur is a comp technician.FR-centric; fruk friendship +pre-relationship.
Anything For You byRaindropsOnMyTeaCup
Heavy romance. Arthur is so in love ;;
Rating: Teen+ | Wordcount: 31555Francis is a world-famous singer and Arthur is his agent.Fruk-centric (a bit more Englandif I remember correctly)
Fortune’s Favour by Shadowcatxx
whenever I think of this fic I remember how badass Arthur is xD
Rating: Teen+ | Wordcount: 35748AU set in 1735; Arthur is part of the Royal Navy and Francis is a pirate.FACE-centric; fruk slowburn romance.
OTHER
i don’t read fics on livejournal but ik there are a lot of really good fruk fics out there. one of the authors i know is nuitdenovembre :>
rainingFRUK by IamREADING gets aspecial mention. It’s the My Immortal of fruk fics and I just about criedreading it.
this list pained me to write bc there are SO MANY fics i wished to include, but in the end i had to pick the ones i have a vague memory of reading.. haizz.
#ask#anon#long post#fanfics bring joy to my life#to all the authors out there: THANK YOU!! SO MUCH!!!!!!#writing is such a tedious process like#reading def does not take even 1% of the effort writers put into writing#iv so much respect TvT#fic#rec#i wanna get into writing comments more.. so far i have three in my drafts that i should probs finish lol#rosetea
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TAGS UWU
So I was tagged three times and since I wasn't able to do it on my phone I had to do it on my computer lmao anyway I got tagged by my sweet cakes(@hyunjinsgiggle ), the sunshine (@felegs ), and this cutie (@stayuwu ) this is going to be long btw im sorry and the ending is very depressing ignore it
Bold Tag
Rules: bold the ones that apply to you!
Appearance:
I’m over 5'5 / I wear glasses/contacts / I have blonde hair / I wear sweatshirts a lot / I prefer loose clothing to tight clothing / I have one or more piercings / I have at least one tattoo / I have blue eyes / I have dyed or highlighted my hair / I have gotten plastic surgery / I have or had braces / I sunburn easily / I have freckles / I paint my nails / I typically wear makeup / I don’t often smile / I am pleased with how I look / I prefer Nike to Adidas / I wear baseball hats backwards
Hobbies and talents:
I play a sport / I can play an instrument / I am artistic / I know more than one language / I have won a trophy in some sort of competition / I can cook or bake without a recipe / I know how to swim / I enjoy writing / I can do origami / I prefer movies on TV shows / I can execute a perfect somersault / I enjoy singing / I could survive in the wild on my own / I have read a new book series this year / I enjoy spending time with friends / I travel during school or work brakes / I can do a handstand
Experiences:
I have had my first kiss / I have gotten drunk / I have told a crush I like them / I have traveled outside of the country / I have flown on an airplane / I have stayed awake for more than 48 hours / I have had a near-death experience / I have caught something on fire / I have performed in a talent show / I have shot a gun / I have been on TV / I have gone scuba diving / I have broken a bone / I have slow-danced / I have gone on a shopping spree
Relationships:
I am in a relationship / I have been single for over a year / I have a crush / I have a best friend I have known for over ten years / my parents are together / I have dated my best friend / I am adopted / my crush have confessed to me / I have had a long-distance relationship / I am an only child / I give advice to my friends / I have made an online friend / I met up with someone I have met online
Aesthetics:
I have heard the ocean in a conch shell / I have watched the sun rise / I enjoy rainy days / I have slept under the stars / I meditate outside / the sound of chirping calms me / I enjoy the smell of the beach / I know what snow tastes like / I listen to music to fall asleep / I enjoy thunderstorms / I enjoy cloud watching / I have attended a bonfire / I pay close attention to colors / I find mystery in the ocean / I enjoy hiking on nature paths / Autumn is my favorite season
Miscellaneous:
I can fall asleep in a moving vehicle / I am the mom friend / I live by a certain quote / I like the smell of sharpies / I am involved in extracurricular activities/ I enjoy Mexican food / I can drive stick-shift / I have memorized an entire song in a day / I believe in true love / I dream up scenarios to fall asleep / I sing in the shower / I wish I lived in a video game / I have a canopy above my bed / I am Multi-racial / I am a redhead / I own at least three dogs / I am LGBR
I'm about to answer 33 questions wow I feel like I'm on an examination
11 questions tag
by sweet cakes:
1. what is your fashion sense?
I have a lot of styles depending on the weather or my mood. I mostly do the sweater/jacket + high waisted shorts hehe or turtle neck + shorts + cardigan/jacket. when I'm lazy, which is always, I wear an oversize hoodie and shorts and the occasional cap hihi I have a weird sense of fashion
2. what is your favourite season?
I like rainy, or windy. any is fine as long as I don't sweat like hell adfaslsja I hate summer
3. if you could go on holiday anywhere, where?
I love going to beaches but tbh anywhere with good views is fine, it doesn't matter since the most important thing for me is that I get the experience and take lots of photos if they have a lot of delicious foods then that's better oof
4. what is one quote you live by?
"learn to stand on your own feet" has a very special place in my heart
5. would you ever get a tattoo, and if so, what and where?
I would want a snowflake, because we're not alone falling down
6. what is your favourite song at the minute?
at the moment, it's nobody knows by youngjae and fine by yugyeom ✨✨
7. what is one album you would listen to for the rest of your life?
I still listen to Linkin Park songs because of the meaningful and relatable lyrics
8. what is your favourite memory from the last year?
it has to be the one time my mom said she's proud of me :')
9. what is one regret you have?
not being able to make friends easily :'( I find it hard to do
10. would you change aforementioned regret?
maybe :'(
11. if you could have any food in the world to eat right now, what would it be?
How dare you make me choose I can't possibly choose between different varieties of foods :'( fries, frappe, and shawarma w/o cucumber pls
by sunshine 🌞
1. what’s one thing that helps you relax?
probably sleeping with soft background music
2. what’s your favorite novel and author?
I'd rather poetry :') sea of strangers by lang leav is amazing
3. are you an affectionate person? if so, how do you show affection?
I'm more like the closet affectionate person hehe but when I'm tired or sleepy I get clingy a lot but I'm mostly through small actions, I'm not comfortable with saying "I miss you" or whatever unless I'm typing them
4. are you an early bird or a night owl?
totally a night owl
5. if you’re comfortable with it, do you have a song you connect to something or someone, and if so, what is it?
sorry by halsey, broken home by 5sos
6. if you could go back to a place you’ve been to before, where would it be?
the beach we went to last vacation :')
7. what does your favorite piece of clothing - that you own yourself - look like?
a very comfy oversized hoodie, it's black with front pocket, sweater paaaaws, and it has a small doodle of neptune on the back
8. who’s your bias and why?
bias? I don't know her
9. do you believe in luck and miracles?
yas, my aunt is actually a fortune teller? idk? but she knows a lot about those and spirits thing but since I have low self confidence I mostly sound like I don't believe in them
10. what’s your favorite type of decorations?
aesthetic and pastel colors ✨
11. do you prefer being outside or inside?
booooth
by cutie :
1. Are you a daydreamer? If so, what do you dream about?
sometimes I just space out without even realizing
2. What’s your favorite place in the world?
home
3. What’s home to you?
somewhere that no one can judge me, a safety place, a place where I can let loose and be comfortable and not give a care about anything
4. This is not a question but quote a vine.
"oh hell noOooOoOOoOooOooOO"
5. Grey’s anatomy or House?
what i don't watch any of these
6. Do you have any pets?
a lame excuse of a cat
7. What kind of friend are you? (You know, the mom friend, the meme friend, etc).
the mom friend, scolds you 25/8, gives advises everywhere, comforts you, takes things seriously, drops everything just to listen to you unless I'm in a very bad mood, sacrifices for you, boyfriend material (according to my friend), secretly soft, lazy but exerts effort when needed, randomly does weird things and dances to fortnite, supports you, but lowkey doesn't do the same for myself lol because I'm emo and you can hear me saying bad things about myself 27/10 and pushing you away lol
I don't share my food unless you're important lmao
8. Do you hate someone? If so, why?
fake peopleeee
9. What’s your dream job?
to be a journalism
10. What MCU character resembles you the most? (not physically, more like mentally and emotionally).
probably wanda
11. I won’t use this eleven question as an actual question, use your right to answer to this to talk about whatever the fuck you want. Rant, fangirl, talk about what you did today or yesterday or whatever. Just talk.
I just want to cry to someone but I don't have the heart to tell anyone, I don't know why but I get stressed so easily and that one time our nurse had a seminar and asked if anyone is depressed, I just want to raise my hand but I'm too scared someone will judge me and think of me as a weak person, like now, and she started this speech about how to beat depression and I just can't understand how is that going to work because it doesn't work on me. I'm getting tired of constantly getting sad for no reason and it's bothering my classmates and I hate bothering them I feel like I'm annoying so I kept these thoughts to myself. It's hard trying to avoid spacing out and being so quiet all of the sudden, I'm getting mad at myself for being pathetic and I did the "do" once because I was so desperate to feel something other than sadness and I couldn't even tell anyone and right now I feel like this rant I'm doing is bothering everyone I hate being like this :'(
I'm doooonneee hehehehe that took me like a long time and I should really sleep now :') I will reblog this with my 11 questions and tags because tumblr has limits ugh
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For the OTP prompt: 28 and 47, with whatever couples you like :) btw they are all good prompts and I had a hard time to choose from them haha
Whatever couples I like?! I like a LOT of couples! I will probably only write about one couple. But let’s see what the prompts are before I get started!
28. I found you panicking, our child about to be delivered.
47. I found you where I should have been looking in the first place.
Okay, so I know the spirit of the first one and the implied letter, but I have some Very Specific Headcanons if I want to apply them to Autor and Erina that don’t include that. And the scenario in my head for that is honestly so cute that I wanna write that anyway. So that prompt’s gonna be a twofer, one the way I wanna do it and one the way I’m supposed to do it.
28. I found you panicking, our child about to be delivered. (The one that fits with my Very Specific Headcanons.)
Autor walks his fingers up and down the keys in short little bursts, the physical memory of the scales leading to thoughtless exercise. It’s the musical equivalent of pacing back and forth.
“I can’t even think to practice now,” Erina says even as she scratches the box of her pointe shoes along the floor.
“I’m not practicing,” Autor answers. “I just need to do something with my hands.”
Erina laughs, short and fluttery, and goes, “Your ‘doing something with your hands’ is more refined than others’ practices.”
She switches to tapping her foot, clothes rustling as she switches from resting her hands on her hips to folding them over her chest only to go back again.
Autor abruptly stops, hands slipping off the keys. “We’re being ridiculous. Laurel surely already knows something’s up. She has to with my parents bringing her today instead of coming along with us.”
“Oh no, you don’t think my parents tagged along, do you?” Erina asks, trotting over to stand behind him. “I just know Mutti will tell her if she’s there. She’s never been good at surprises.”
“You can go call your house to check,” he offers. “I’m not going anywhere.”
“Oh wait,” she answers, going to the wall where her purse sits. “You should get the locket then, in case they arrive before I get back.”
“Then you won’t have to call your house,” Autor points out while she fishes for the jewelry box. “Besides, you should give it to her. You picked it out.”
“But she likes you better!” Erina says, jewelry box held out as she approaches him again. “And this is the sort of gift a father should give, don’t you think?”
“While I don’t agree with her liking me better, I suppose that is a gift fathers give their daughters. But there’s no reason you can’t give it to her. The locket was your idea. And I can’t think of any reason why it’s not a gift a mother can give, too.”
“What’re you guys talking about?”
The two turn at the new voice, Autor fixing his glasses and Erina clutching the small box to her chest. Laurel beams up at them, hazel eyes gleaming in excitement. She places her things by Erina’s purse and starts taking off her overclothes keeping her warm before her ballet lesson.
“Hello, Laurel,” Erina greets, swiping her hands behind her back. “Did you have a nice time with Lore and Logos?”
“Uh-huh!” Laurel answers as she ties her long black hair back in a ponytail. “They took me to the pizza place for lunch! And they said after the lesson we can all go to Ebine’s!”
“Oh! How nice! Here, let me come help put up your hair,” Erina says, poking Autor in the back with the jewelry box to pass it off to him. Once he finally gets the hint and palms it, she goes over to help put the girl’s hair up in a nice, tight bun.
Autor pockets the box, a wave of nervous excitement washing over him from the last time he carried such an important piece of jewelry there, and resumes his scales.
“Are the others gonna be here tonight?” Laurel asks.
“No,” Autor answers. “It’s just us for class tonight. We’ll have a class with the others from the orphanage tomorrow.”
Her hair fixed, Laurel runs over to the piano bench and sits next to Autor. “Is that okay, though? They’ll get behind.”
“It’s just for one night,” Erina says, going over to join them and putting a hand on Autor’s shoulder. “And besides that, we wanted to talk to you. About what we were saying when you came in.”
Laurel plunks at some of the keys, careful not to run into Autor’s hands. “Oh? So what is it?”
“Well, Erina and I have really liked having you stay with us,” Autor says, pausing in his playing once more and trying to find the right words as Erina rubs his shoulder. “We were thinking maybe it’s time that we had a child of our own.”
Laurel gasps and turns to Erina. “Y’mean you’re gonna have a baby?! Can I be the baby’s big sister? I just know any kid you have is gonna be so happy to have you guys as parents.”
Erina laughs and smooths her hand along Laurel’s hair. “No, Laurel. We agreed a long time ago that if we had kids, we would adopt. And we… we want to adopt you.”
Before Laurel can say anything, Autor fishes out the box from his pocket, looking to Erina to see if he missed his cue. “We wanted to ask you now that you’ve stayed with us for a while,” he says, opening the box to show the girl the heart-shaped locket. “We love you, and if you want to stay with us, we can have the official papers signed first thing in the morning.”
Tears well up in Laurel’s eyes, overflowing down her cheeks. She sniffles and wipes at them with her hands, shuddering. Erina crouches down to be on even standing and Autor leans towards her, hearts threatening to break.
“Oh no, what is it?” Erina asks.
“I can- I can call you- Mutti and Vati?” Laurel gasps out, throwing her arms around Erina’s neck. “You’ll be my parents?! I can stay?!”
Erina wraps her arms around her daughter and presses a kiss to the top of her head. “Yes, yes, you can stay forever,” she answers, unexpected tears spilling over.
Question answered, Autor closes the box and embraces his family.
28. I found you panicking, our child about to be delivered. (The one where I’m writing to fulfill the spirit of the prompt.)
Erina is no stranger to pain. Ballet by its very nature demands bodily sacrifice. Granted, she wants to dance ballet again and could probably live with never going through childbirth again, but she can weather this pain. She knows she can.
She just wishes Autor would stop saying so.
Circumstances beyond their control have her in labor in the late night, nearly two in the morning before they finally near the end of the whole thing. Autor retrieved who knows how many coffees in that time to stay awake for the event, though Erina had to insist in between contractions that he could leave to get them from the machine down the hall from the maternity ward. She’s seen him late at night before, and she’s seen him after drinking enough tea that its caffeine SHOULD have the same effect as his coffee intake, and she’s even seen both at the same time. But now he’s unlike any of those states.
If he could say something else, anything else, she could probably bear it. The reassurances he gave earlier in the evening were sweet then but have lost their meaning the 50th time around. On top of that, she’s not sure if she’s shaking his hand from squeezing it or he’s jittery from the caffeine, the late hour, and their imminent parenthood.
Once he starts into the same spiel again now that she can finally start pushing, she snaps and goes, “Autor, could you PLEASE be quiet?!”
And just like that, he turns off. Maybe it was the way she phrased it. She can’t tell in the moment and doesn’t know if she’ll care to think on it later. His hand still shakes holding hers, but the only sound she can hear besides herself is his breathing. And somehow that helps more than his last litany of reassurances.
“I’m sorry,” he says much later, alone together and their newborn child asleep in her arms.
“You don’t have to be,” she tells him. “I didn’t know how else to say, ‘It’s hard to work when there’s so much noise.’”
Autor quietly laughs. “No, you were exceedingly polite, all things considered. Honestly, I can’t even remember what I was telling you. I forgot everything once the baby was born.”
Erina gives him a dismissive snort and goes, “Lucky.”
“Sorry,” he says again. And then, “Would you like me to hold her so you can get some sleep?”
“I’m fine, but if you want to hold her,” she offers, carefully shifting the baby so Autor can pick her up.
And in spite of his shaking earlier, Autor’s hands are firm holding his daughter.
47. I found you where I should have been looking in the first place.
“I don’t know why I chose this place last.”
Autor lifts his head from his book but doesn’t say a word. Erina of all people should know that this is a library. But all the same, he’s glad she’s come to sit by him here. Once she does, she wastes no time leaning on his arm.
“I don’t know why, either,” he finally says, at a good stopping place in his book. “Where did you check before?”
“Your house in general first, then your room specifically, then the study you have, then the cafeteria since it was lunch time, then the classroom with the piano. I came here after that.”
Autor closes his book and asks, “What would you have done if you hadn’t found me here?”
Erina shrugs and loops her arm in his. “I don’t know. Probably find a book and wait for you here. Once I thought to check here, I figured you would probably show up sooner or later.”
“Do you want to find a book anyway?”
“Sure,” she agrees. “Any recommendations?”
He looks over at her with a broad smile. “Erina. Have I ever not had a recommendation?”
“I don’t know; you’ll prove it one way or the other today.”
Autor stands up, letting Erina’s arm slip down his but taking hold of her hand. How is it that she can make a task as simple as finding a book into a challenge? And how is it that the very thought gives finding a book a new, exciting streak? Something that was already a joy multiplied just because she turned the request into a dare.
“What would you say to some poetry?” he suggests, tugging her hand to follow him.
“Perhaps,” she agrees, getting to her feet. “Something romantic?”
“Have you read Sonnets from the Portuguese?” he asks. “Elizabeth Barrett Browning is said to be the finest since Shakespeare in that art for a reason.”
“The finest sonnets since Shakespeare?” Erina clarifies. “Who could say no to that?”
The two knit their fingers together as Autor leads Erina to the poetry section, mind already wandering to sonnet structure and the notion of crafting one just for her.
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