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#sung hanbin angst
bully⋆.ೃ࿔*:・
thursday, sung hanbin— poetry ii
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⋆˙⟡ zbully1 smut series masterlist! hanbin, jiwoong, hao, matthew, and taerae included. game day (group) chapter here. all 7 endings here.
⋆˙⟡ wc: 3.5k (it's a doozy but it's worth it i literally am so happy with this one)
⋆˙⟡ reader: femme afab (listed first, she/her are used) // gender neutral (alternate version listed second, no pronouns used at all to describe reader— scroll down)
⋆˙⟡ series summary: five bullies. six days. it's gonna be a hell of a week, babe. stay hydrated.
⋆˙⟡ thursday summary: thursday. good news: the week is almost over. bad news: you're stuck in poetry class with sung hanbin as your desk partner. it's weird. sometimes you play off each other so well, you're nearly blindsided by his sudden flipping of the switch. if only you could steal a glimpse at his journal.
⋆˙⟡ warnings: explicit smut. 18+. minors do not interact. please read specific smut warnings under the cut! swearing. angst. slight dub-con. bullying. very toxic softboi/popular soccer star hanbinnie. guys THE LORE. you very well may not survive til the end of the week but we're already on this journey together so let's see it through!!! smut in gn and fem versions are slightly different due to logistics/circumstance. also there's two parts i wrote in here that made me laugh way too hard okay bye. xx
⋆˙⟡ bully scale: ★★★★☆(4.5)
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EXPLICIT SMUT 18+ WARNINGS: choking (reader receiving and safely executed lmao), chest groping/brief nipple play (reader receiving; reader is wearing a bra and hanbin refers to you as having 'tits'), heavy petting (reader and hanbin receiving), fingering (brief, reader receiving), erotic humiliation and degradation (towards reader; about looseness of pussy after this week/disappointing chest but not the size of it he's just being a dick am i making sense), slut and whore used to describe reader, one slap across the face (reader receiving), slight dub-con but we know how reader rolls now lol. hanbin is insanely toxic. enjoy.
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˚    ✦   .  .   ˚ .      . ✦ 
scribble. scribble. scribble. 
the scratchings of your pencil in your poetry journal are growing increasingly violent. you don’t really care. you’d stayed up all night: tossing and turning and thinking and plotting. 
“hey, uh... you okay?” hanbin asks, tapping you gently with the end of his pen. your pencil falls from your fingers as you’re jolted from your anxious thought spiral. 
“huh?” you reply, blinking at the star of the soccer team. “oh, um. yeah. i’m okay.”
hanbin’s brow raises slightly at your answer as if it surprises him. “you sure?”
“yeah,” you reply as nonchalantly as possible. “why?”
you follow hanbin’s line of sight to the open page of your poetry journal. you’ve absentmindedly ripped a significant hole through several pages with your vortex of nervous scribbling.
you breathe an awkward laugh, closing your journal and putting your pencil down flat on your desk.
“you had a rough week,” hanbin says, grabbing his journal from his bag and placing it on his desk. you bite your cheeks to keep from grinning at the sight of your target. “or so i’ve heard.”
“i’m sure you have,” you mumble, glancing at the tile floor. “i’m sure everybody has.”
“they haven’t,” he replies definitively and you know he’s telling the truth. “i promise they haven’t.”
hanbin was a tricky one. the star of the soccer team and undoubtedly the most popular boy at your university, it comes as no surprise that he was also the makeshift ring leader of his stupid group of friends. keeping that spotlight also meant keeping up appearances. while your other bullies made their distaste for you known whenever possible, hanbin had a different preferred method of torture.
he liked to play nice. compliment your poems. share a laugh... reel you in.
until you were so close, you couldn’t escape. that’s when he’d flip the script on you. 
like when he sent your poem about the boy you liked to the entire university’s mailing list last year. you’d insisted you didn’t feel comfortable sharing it with him. you recoiled with embarrassment at the thought of junseo, your senior lab partner, finding out. but he pushed. made you think you could trust him.
the next day, it was pinned to every bulletin board across campus next to a picture of you that hanbin had taken on your class trip to the national library. like some sort of sick calling card.
junseo sunbae-nim never muttered more than a word to you ever again.
so that’s how all this started. hanbin recruiting his three (and then four) asshole friends in a sudden and violent quest to become the bane of your existence. 
sometimes you still can’t help but wonder if you’d done something to upset him. but you shake off that thought each time. you won’t let him get in your head again so easily.
you’ve about mustered the courage to give hanbin some snarky response when your professor’s chalk hatchings across the blackboard send a hush over the classroom.
“good afternoon, everyone,” professor choi greets happily, underlining today’s date on the board. “let’s jump right in today and start with our weekly journals. please share with your desk partner the poem that this week so far inspired you to write.”
your eyes fix on hanbin’s journal again, anticipation stirring as you think about the clues that could be hidden in his poem this week. could the answers you’re looking for really be inside that black, leather book?
“you should go fi—,” you start to suggest a bit too quietly before hanbin unknowingly cuts you off.
“do you wanna go first?” he asks brightly, smile lines illuminating his soft features. you know you shouldn’t indulge him, but you can never stop the corners of your lips from involuntarily turning up in response. no matter how much you hated him, his fairytale prince looks were undeniable.
“oh, uh,” you stammer, grabbing your journal and flipping it open to your entry from this week. you look at the poem you wrote, eyes scanning over the emotional stanzas as you bite your lip uneasily. “i dunno. i kind of got a bit too... personal this week.”
“oh, you know i don’t mind,” he replies calmly. “that’s what poetry is, right?”
“i’m well aware you don’t mind me spilling personal details to you,” you reply with a glare. “but i mind.”
“(y/n)-sshi,” professor choi’s voice suddenly rings over your shoulder. “let’s get reading, okay? time is limited.”
you swallow hard, looking down at your journal shamefully. “yes, professor-nim.”
“so what’s it called?” hanbin asks as professor choi makes her way back up to her desk, folding his arms across his chest and leaning back into his chair. “your poem?”
“the bird,” you answer softly. “it’s called the bird.”
he nods pensively before gesturing for you to start. you look back down at the page, fingers shaking as you try to hold your journal steady. clearing your throat, you recite:
“from her perch at the window, she will never be much. the vultures jeered at her as they circled above. then one flew down— with taloned-hand, he did touch. and a meek little finch turned into a dove. if a dove she can be, she will be it as such. til another vulture fell to his knees with a glove. parted her feathers and took her in his clutch. and from the fair bird, made a raven thereof. she needs to change back, so she tries to stay hush. but a third brash vulture throws her off with a shove. the reluctant truth is she’s filling with lust... and she’s growing quite scared of the bird she’ll become.”
you blink back tears as you close your journal and place it on your desk in front of you. maybe it’s your lack of sleep or the mentally and physically jarring week you’ve had, but reading your poem aloud had left you feeling quite vulnerable.
“that was beautiful, (y/n),” hanbin says suddenly, prying you from your regret. you turn to him, eyes wide as he nods thoughtfully. “i really appreciated the metaphor of the bird. the vultures are considered bad birds, but somehow they changed the subject from an unassuming bird into the more beautiful bird she seemed to want to be... but never thought she could.”
you stare at him as he glances up at the ceiling, those handsome smile lines crinkling his cheeks again.
“funny how things we could perceive as wrong or immoral can actually have a positive effect on us,” he muses with a chuckle. “but it’s only natural for the bird to question that change. she’s done more of that ‘bad’ thing and now she’s afraid it’s turned her into a raven. a bird that frightens her. or maybe a bird she can’t recognize anymore when she looks in the mirror.”
“it did,” you assert quietly. “it did change her.”
“but it sounds like she likes that change. at least part of her,” hanbin rebuts, meeting your gaze. “perhaps if she embraces that and sheds her own guilt— or molts, if you will— she’ll realize the raven is another distortion of her own making, just like the finch was. she’ll realize she is the dove and she always has been.”
your lips part as you gape at hanbin in awe. it was hard not to let your guard down with him when he always dissected your poems so intuitively like this. memories of intense public humiliation are the only thing that can keep you grounded.
“or,” he adds, a small smirk upturning the corner of his lips. “i guess she could also realize that ravens and vultures aren’t the bad birds she thinks they are. maybe she finds that, after all this worrying, she was meant to be a vulture, too.”
“under a minute left,” professor choi calls out from the front of the classroom.
shit. hanbin had talked so much about your poem that he barely had any time left to share his— the poem you desperately needed to be shared in the first place.
hanbin’s still rambling on about vultures, but you’re not paying any attention as a wave of panic rushes over you. 
“you should share yours still,” you prompt a little too eagerly, cutting him off mid-sentence. trying your best to dial it back, you add, “i’m sure it’s very interesting, what with the big game on saturday and all.”
hanbin smiles, holding your gaze for a moment too long. it’s suspicious, but his eyes give nothing away.
“if it’s okay with you, i’d rather not share this week,” he says, throwing his journal back in his bag. “i got a little too... how did you put it? personal.”
you blink at him. “but—. but that’s what i said and you—.”
hanbin mutters something under his breath that you swear sounds like, “not like you’d listen to me anyway.”
but you must’ve misheard him.
your heart sinks, your plan crumbling to ashes before your eyes as professor choi launches into a lecture about wilfred owen’s 20th century use of assonance. hanbin had to have written something about what his friends had been up to. that’s why he used up so much time focusing on your poem. 
your pencil moves across your paper, absentmindedly taking notes until you reach the only possible conclusion: you can’t give up. you’ll just have to amend the plan.
after class, you hurriedly gather your things and run out the door, pulling your phone out and typing vigorously as you make your way to the bathroom.
WHEN DOES THE BOYS’ SOCCER PRACTICE GO UNTIL TONIGHT!? mina: ??? NO QUESTIONS. JUST ANSWERS. mina: jiwoong oppa is picking me up at 7. so i assume about 6:30. THANK U BYE and... please be careful around him. mina: yeah, yeah, yeah i’ll use protection ily
totally not what you meant. and you’d hate to break it to her, but after his little stunt on monday, you’re not sure how fond her jiwoong oppa would be of that request.
6:30. practice would start soon, giving you plenty of time to slip into the boys’ locker room, read hanbin’s journal, and slip out undetected. 
you catch a glimpse of yourself in the bathroom mirror.
a raven’s beady eyes stare back.
~
you kill some time in the library, waiting until practice is well underway before making your way across campus to the gymnasium. your heart is already pounding in your ears just thinking about the little heist you’re about to pull.
but your legs keep propelling you forward.
pulling open the building door, you step inside cautiously. the women’s badminton team is stretching in the atrium of the building, but there’s no sign of anyone else. you head right down the hallway, walking past the cardio fitness center and the weight-lifting gym until you’re in front of the boys’ locker room door.
you put an ear to it, hearing nothing but the whirring of a fan on the other side.
fuck it.
you pull open the door and step inside, white and grey tiled walls and rows of blue lockers surrounding you. your heart races as you look back at the door, wondering if it’s not too late to abandon your mission.
you shake your head. no. you need to find that journal.
with a steadying breath, you begin to walk through the first row of lockers. when you don’t spot hanbin’s bag, you proceed to the second row. and then the next. and then the next until you finally spot it.
tucked under the wooden bench running down the middle of the aisle is a familiar brown, leather messenger bag. you run to it, picking it up from the floor and setting it down on the bench. you unclasp the latch on the front of the bag and lift the flap, opening it up and reaching inside it.
your hand hits something... fluffy. you grab the fuzzy item and pull it out, squealing when you see that it’s a tiny, cream-colored hamster plush. it’s the cutest thing you’ve ever seen in your whole goddamn life. 
and you are disappointed to find yourself thinking it bears a striking resemblance to its owner.
you stuff the little hamster back into the bag. as cute as he is, it’s not what you came here for. you gasp when you feel the cold leather-bound journal in your hand, pulling it out hurriedly and examining the cover.
you open the journal, flipping through the pages rashly until you locate an entry with today’s date at the top. it reads:
“if one is a vulture, it’s assumed they’re no good— despite all the research that they’re helpful to earth. does the finch know that if that vulture could, he’d hunt for a mirror and show her her worth? if that finch is a dove, there’d be something that would still keep her away from achieving true mirth. it’s the vultures, she’d cry before she understood: the vulture has always been a sign of rebirth. a dove, raven, vulture, or finch from the woods, the vultures will find her and double their search. but for someone who claims they feel misunderstood, it’s repulsive the lengths she would go to unearth... something that does not belong to that bird. seems the dove was a raven afterall.”
“pretty good, huh?” the sudden voice behind you makes you jump. “wrote it in, like, ten minutes after class. what can i say? i was inspired.”
you don’t turn around. your face is already on fire from how mortified you are. of course, you’d considered the possibility of being caught. but you hadn’t really realized the weight of that consequence until this moment.
“actually, i think it might be even better than the original,” he continues, footsteps echoing against the tiled floors as he draws nearer. “i mean, you really should’ve thought to flesh out those vulture characters a bit. and you didn’t even consider looking up the well-known symbolism behind them.”
a hot breath fans across the back of your neck, causing you to shiver as a hand wraps around the leather-bound journal and pries it from yours.
“i have to admit, i didn’t really think you had it in you,” he says with a chuckle, fingers suddenly hooking into your waistband and turning you around to face him. he’s in his red and white soccer uniform, skin glistening from the practice meet he should be at right now. “but just in case, i wanted to be prepared. write you something worth reading.”
“h-how did you know?” you stutter quietly. “that i—”
“well, you weren’t exactly subtle, now were you?” hanbin smiles but the light doesn’t reach his eyes. “‘you should read your poem, hanbin. i’m sure it’s exciting with the big game coming up’. like you give a fuck about my poetry.”
that last sentence reminds you of what you thought you’d heard him mumble in class today: not like you’d listen to me anyway.
what was that about?
“aw, don’t get sad now that your plan didn’t go your way,” hanbin coos, lifting his hand to caress your cheek. “i thought it was kind of cute. i can forgive you for stealing, right? you just wanted my attention so badly that you had to play a bit dirty.”
you shake your head quickly. “no, it’s not like that! i swear i wasn’t trying to get your attention, i just—”
“well then, jesus fucking christ, what do i have to do to—,” hanbin snaps before promptly cutting himself off. there’s something in his eyes you’ve never seen before: desperation. 
a large hand wraps around your throat in an instant, shoving you up against a blue locker. the motion knocks the wind out of you and you find yourself gasping for air. your hand flies to remove his from around your neck, but he catches it in his free one and brings it gently back down to your side. 
“i told you in class that if you needed help calling off the vultures, you should ask me while you still can,” hanbin rasps, rubbing his thumb up the left side of your throat. “but you weren’t listening, dove. the gulper got first bite. the rippers tore you apart...”
you breathe shallowly, glancing from side to side for some route of escape.
“but now the king has landed,” he says, tongue flitting across his teeth. “and he’s fucking starving.”
you blink at him, lips parted in stupid shock. “i—... i honestly had no idea you knew so much about vultures.”
“THAT’S WHAT YOU TOOK FROM THAT ARE YOU KID—,” he yells, finger pads digging in tighter to the skin of your neck. his gaze falls to your lips, supple and pretty even in fear. he trails down to your shirt, a button-up front that seems to entice him. “take it off.”
“b-but—.”
“take it the fuck off, (y/n). you should know by now how this goes,” hanbin snarls, grabbing your hand and bringing it to the trail of buttons. you start to fiddle with them, but you have some trouble under the pressure of his gaze. “can’t even undo a button? hm? too fucking stupid, dove?”
you find yourself nodding against all odds.
“need binnie to do it for you?” he coos, smile lines illuminating his face again.
you just nod. it seems to be what you do best.
hanbin unfastens the buttons one-handed and with ease. once your shirt is open, he undoes the center clasp of your bra and exposes your chest. then, he sighs with dramatic disappointment. “seriously? that’s it? got me all excited to see your tits and this is what you have to show?”
you look down at your incredibly normal and attractive chest. you’d never really doubted the allure of that part of your body before. should you have?
the humiliating comment causes a lump to form in your throat... and an embarrassingly intense ache to shoot through your heat. 
he tugs the center hem of your shirt, pulling the fabric further off your shoulders. “it’s a good thing the other guys didn’t see them. they’re far more superficial than me. you should be grateful you found a guy who can look past the disappointment. ”
hanbin’s free hand gropes your chest, thumb rubbing circles around one nipple and then the next as you let out a soft whimper.
“mm, i heard that,” he breathes with a smirk. “even though you never hear me. probably didn’t even fucking clock the first line in that stupid poem. but i hear you, dove. so let me give you what you want. all you have to do is ask.”
you gulp, softly responding, “w-want you to... touch me.”
“yeah?” hanbin affirms, finger trailing down your stomach.
you nod again, this time more assuredly under the guise of his encouraging smile. that is, until a harsh slap stings your cheek.
“well that wasn’t a fucking question, was it?” hanbin hisses, rubbing soothing circles into your cheek with his thumb. “you’re in an advanced poetry class and you don’t even know how to form an interrogative sentence? just must be doodling all the time, huh? about all the boys who’ve made a mess of you this week? like the dumb little slut you are.”
hanbin’s free hand slips under your skirt, fingers brushing over your clothed core before pulling it out again. you gasp when you see his fingers already covered in your arousal.
his eyes darken as he reaches up your skirt again, tearing a hole right through your lace panties and stuffing two fingers inside of you immediately as you cry out. 
“oh, dove, why would i wanna put my cock in here, hm? can already feel how much those other assholes have stretched you out,” hanbin says with another sigh of disappointment. 
another bout of worry clouds your mind. was that true? was matthew right? you thought he was just being a misogynistic pig, but... had you really been physically tainted from the events of this week?
“so fucking lucky, dove,” hanbin whispers, removing his hand from your heat and taking one of yours. he brings it down the front of his athletic shorts and then wraps it around his impossibly hard length. you look up at him, wide-eyed. “where every other man would see damaged goods, i see prime real estate.”
“what—”
“gonna fuck you now, m’kay?” hanbin interjects, pulling his shorts down and exposing himself to you. you hadn’t really seen the other boys up close or at all like this. hanbin’s cock is pretty, long with just a few visible veins and a pink head that’s leaking a bit of pre-cum. it makes your mouth water. maybe you are a dumb slut.
maybe you like it like that.
or maybe it’s just hanbin’s large hand covering your throat, pressing at the sides tenderly that’s making you start to feel a bit high. he brings himself to your entrance, lining up the tip and coating it in your juices. he’s about to push himself inside of you, when he suddenly freezes.
“you want me to, right?” hanbin asks, tone suddenly much softer than it was before. his eyes are locked with yours, holding you there with him against the wall of lockers. “you want me inside you? just me. not those other guys? not junseo hyung-nim or—”
BEEEEEEEEEP. BRRANG. BRRANG. BRRANG. BEEEEEEEE....
a fire alarm rips through the locker room, loud and annoying as ever. you try to jump out of hanbin’s grasp, but his hands stay fixed around you. 
“let me... let me go!” you assert, hitting his chest with your palm. the pressure on your neck that felt so good just a few moments ago is now filling you with fear, “are you trying to kill me or something!?”
his brow raises slightly, as if he only just noticed the alarm. his grip loosens and you take the opportunity to scramble away from him. 
“of course i’m not,” he replies dejectedly, re-situating his shorts before huffing, “like you have a body worth going to jail for.”
“oh, shut up,” you retort, rolling your eyes as you race to re-button your shirt. “this is all YOUR fault. whatever’s going on this week, i know you’re behind it. you’ve run out of ideas to keep me small. but i’m not small. in fact, i’m a much bigger person than you are! so... i’m sorry for whatever i did that made you hate me so much in the first place. now, please, let’s get out of here.”
you start to run down the aisle of lockers towards the exit door, but a lack of footsteps behind you causes you to stop and turn back.
“come on,” you urge as hanbin continues to stand in place and stare at you, unmoving. it might be the most infuriating thing he’s done all day. “oh, fucking burn then.”
the tangible anger in your voice startles both of you. hanbin blinks quickly back at you, wide-eyed as if you’ve just slapped him across the face. whoever gave him the right to feel that way is sorely mistaken. you turn back around, throwing over your shoulder:
“are there birds worse than vultures?”
˚    ✦   .  .   ˚ .      . ✦ 
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gender neutral version below
EXPLICIT SMUT 18+ WARNINGS: choking (reader receiving and safely executed lmao), chest/abdomen groping (reader receiving; no anatomical descriptions or gender specific language), heavy petting (reader and hanbin receiving), finger penetration (brief, reader receiving), erotic humiliation and degradation (towards reader; regarding looseness of hole (non specific) from desperation and disappointing chest/abdomen region (not related to gender or anatomical gendered parts he's just being a dick to you i hope this makes sense)), slut and whore are also used but not in a gendered context, one slap across face (reader receiving), slight dub-con but we know how reader rolls now lol. hanbin is insanely toxic. enjoy.
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˚    ✦   .  .   ˚ .      . ✦ 
scribble. scribble. scribble. 
the scratchings of your pencil in your poetry journal are growing increasingly violent. you don’t really care. you’d stayed up all night: tossing and turning and thinking and plotting. 
“hey, uh... you okay?” hanbin asks, tapping you gently with the end of his pen. your pencil falls from your fingers as you’re jolted from your anxious thought spiral. 
“huh?” you reply, blinking at the star of the soccer team. “oh, um. yeah. i’m okay.”
hanbin’s brow raises slightly at your answer as if it surprises him. “you sure?”
“yeah,” you reply as nonchalantly as possible. “why?”
you follow hanbin’s line of sight to the open page of your poetry journal. you’ve absentmindedly ripped a significant hole through several pages with your vortex of nervous scribbling.
you breathe an awkward laugh, closing your journal and putting your pencil down flat on your desk.
“you had a rough week,” hanbin says, grabbing his journal from his bag and placing it on his desk. you bite your cheeks to keep from grinning at the sight of your target. “or so i’ve heard.”
“i’m sure you have,” you mumble, glancing at the tile floor. “i’m sure everybody has.”
“they haven’t,” he replies definitively and you know he’s telling the truth. “i promise they haven’t.”
hanbin was a tricky one. the star of the soccer team and undoubtedly the most popular boy at your university, it comes as no surprise that he was also the makeshift ring leader of his stupid group of friends. keeping that spotlight also meant keeping up appearances. while your other bullies made their distaste for you known whenever possible, hanbin had a different preferred method of torture.
he liked to play nice. compliment your poems. share a laugh... reel you in.
until you were so close, you couldn’t escape. that’s when he’d flip the script on you. 
like when he sent your poem about the boy you liked to the entire university’s mailing list last year. you’d insisted you didn’t feel comfortable sharing it with him. you recoiled with embarrassment at the thought of junseo, your senior lab partner, finding out. but he pushed. made you think you could trust him.
the next day, it was pinned to every bulletin board across campus next to a picture of you that hanbin had taken on your class trip to the national library. like some sort of sick calling card.
junseo sunbae-nim never muttered more than a word to you ever again.
so that’s how all this started. hanbin recruiting his three (and then four) asshole friends in a sudden and violent quest to become the bane of your existence. 
sometimes you still can’t help but wonder if you’d done something to upset him. but you shake off that thought each time. you won’t let him get in your head again so easily.
you’ve about mustered the courage to give hanbin some snarky response when your professor’s chalk hatchings across the blackboard send a hush over the classroom.
“good afternoon, everyone,” professor choi greets happily, underlining today’s date on the board. “let’s jump right in today and start with our weekly journals. please share with your desk partner the poem that this week so far inspired you to write.”
your eyes fix on hanbin’s journal again, anticipation stirring as you think about the clues that could be hidden in his poem this week. could the answers you’re looking for really be inside that black, leather book?
“you should go fi—,” you start to suggest a bit too quietly before hanbin unknowingly cuts you off.
“do you wanna go first?” he asks brightly, smile lines illuminating his soft features. you know you shouldn’t indulge him, but you can never stop the corners of your lips from involuntarily turning up in response. no matter how much you hated him, his fairytale prince looks were undeniable.
“oh, uh,” you stammer, grabbing your journal and flipping it open to your entry from this week. you look at the poem you wrote, eyes scanning over the emotional stanzas as you bite your lip uneasily. “i dunno. i kind of got a bit too... personal this week.”
“oh, you know i don’t mind,” he replies calmly. “that’s what poetry is, right?”
“i’m well aware you don’t mind me spilling personal details to you,” you reply with a glare. “but i mind.”
“(y/n)-sshi,” professor choi’s voice suddenly rings over your shoulder. “let’s get reading, okay? time is limited.”
you swallow hard, looking down at your journal shamefully. “yes, professor-nim.”
“so what’s it called?” hanbin asks as professor choi makes her way back up to her desk, folding his arms across his chest and leaning back into his chair. “your poem?”
“the bird,” you answer softly. “it’s called the bird.”
he nods pensively before gesturing for you to start. you look back down at the page, fingers shaking as you try to hold your journal steady. clearing your throat, you recite:
“from it’s perch at the window, it will never be much. the vultures jeered at it as they circled above. then one flew down— with taloned-hand, he did touch. and a meek little finch turned into a dove. if a dove it can be, it will be it as such. til another vulture fell to his knees with a glove. parted it’s feathers and took it in his clutch. and from the fair bird, made a raven thereof. it needs to change back, so it tries to stay hush. but a third brash vulture throws it off with a shove. the reluctant truth is it’s filling with lust... and it’s growing quite scared of the bird it will become.”
you blink back tears as you close your journal and place it on your desk in front of you. maybe it’s your lack of sleep or the mentally and physically jarring week you’ve had, but reading your poem aloud had left you feeling quite vulnerable.
“that was beautiful, (y/n),” hanbin says suddenly, prying you from your regret. you turn to him, eyes wide as he nods thoughtfully. “i really appreciated the metaphor of the bird. the vultures are considered bad birds, but somehow they changed the subject from an unassuming bird into the more beautiful bird it seemed to want to be... but never thought it could.”
you stare at him as he glances up at the ceiling, those handsome smile lines crinkling his cheeks again.
“funny how things we could perceive as wrong or immoral can actually have a positive effect on us,” he muses with a chuckle. “but it’s only natural for the bird to question that change. it’s done more of that ‘bad’ thing and now it’s afraid it’s been turned into a raven. a bird that’s frightening. or maybe a bird it can’t recognize anymore when it looks in the mirror.”
“it did,” you assert quietly. “it did change the bird.”
“but it sounds like the bird likes that change. at least part of it,” hanbin rebuts, meeting your gaze. “perhaps if it embraces that and sheds it’s own guilt— or molts, if you will— it’ll realize the raven is another distortion of the bird’s own making, just like the finch was. it’ll realize it is the dove and it always has been.”
your lips part as you gape at hanbin in awe. it was hard not to let your guard down with him when he always dissected your poems so intuitively like this. memories of intense public humiliation are the only thing that can keep you grounded.
“or,” he adds, a small smirk upturning the corner of his lips. “i guess it could also realize that ravens and vultures aren’t the bad birds it thinks they are. maybe it finds that, after all this worrying, the bird was meant to be a vulture, too.”
“under a minute left,” professor choi calls out from the front of the classroom.
shit. hanbin had talked so much about your poem that he barely had any time left to share his— the poem you desperately needed to be shared in the first place.
hanbin’s still rambling on about vultures, but you’re not paying any attention as a wave of panic rushes over you. 
“you should share yours still,” you prompt a little too eagerly, cutting him off mid-sentence. trying your best to dial it back, you add, “i’m sure it’s very interesting, what with the big game on saturday and all.”
hanbin smiles, holding your gaze for a moment too long. it’s suspicious, but his eyes give nothing away.
“if it’s okay with you, i’d rather not share this week,” he says, throwing his journal back in his bag. “i got a little too... how did you put it? personal.”
you blink at him. “but—. but that’s what i said and you—.”
hanbin mutters something under his breath that you swear sounds like, “not like you’d listen to me anyway.”
but you must’ve misheard him.
your heart sinks, your plan crumbling to ashes before your eyes as professor choi launches into a lecture about wilfred owen’s 20th century use of assonance. hanbin had to have written something about what his friends had been up to. that’s why he used up so much time focusing on your poem. 
your pencil moves across your paper, absentmindedly taking notes until you reach the only possible conclusion: you can’t give up. you’ll just have to amend the plan.
after class, you hurriedly gather your things and run out the door, pulling your phone out and typing vigorously as you make your way to the bathroom.
WHEN DOES THE BOYS’ SOCCER PRACTICE GO UNTIL TONIGHT!? mina: ??? NO QUESTIONS. JUST ANSWERS. mina: jiwoong oppa is picking me up at 7. so i assume about 6:30. THANK U BYE and... please be careful around him. mina: yeah, yeah, yeah i’ll use protection ily
totally not what you meant. and you’d hate to break it to her, but after his little stunt on monday, you’re not sure how fond her jiwoong oppa would be of that request.
6:30. practice would start soon, giving you plenty of time to slip into the boys’ locker room, read hanbin’s journal, and slip out undetected. 
you catch a glimpse of yourself in the bathroom mirror.
a raven’s beady eyes stare back.
~
you kill some time in the library, waiting until practice is well underway before making your way across campus to the gymnasium. your heart is already pounding in your ears just thinking about the little heist you’re about to pull.
but your legs keep propelling you forward.
pulling open the building door, you step inside cautiously. the women’s badminton team is stretching in the atrium of the building, but there’s no sign of anyone else. you head right down the hallway, walking past the cardio fitness center and the weight-lifting gym until you’re in front of the boys’ locker room door.
you put an ear to it, hearing nothing but the whirring of a fan on the other side.
fuck it.
you pull open the door and step inside, white and grey tiled walls and rows of blue lockers surrounding you. your heart races as you look back at the door, wondering if it’s not too late to abandon your mission.
you shake your head. no. you need to find that journal.
with a steadying breath, you begin to walk through the first row of lockers. when you don’t spot hanbin’s bag, you proceed to the second row. and then the next. and then the next until you finally spot it.
tucked under the wooden bench running down the middle of the aisle is a familiar brown, leather messenger bag. you run to it, picking it up from the floor and setting it down on the bench. you unclasp the latch on the front of the bag and lift the flap, opening it up and reaching inside it.
your hand hits something... fluffy. you grab the fuzzy item and pull it out, squealing when you see that it’s a tiny, cream-colored hamster plush. it’s the cutest thing you’ve ever seen in your whole goddamn life. 
and you are disappointed to find yourself thinking it bears a striking resemblance to its owner.
you stuff the little hamster back into the bag. as cute as he is, it’s not what you came here for. you gasp when you feel the cold leather-bound journal in your hand, pulling it out hurriedly and examining the cover.
you open the journal, flipping through the pages rashly until you locate an entry with today’s date at the top. it reads:
“if one is a vulture, it’s assumed they’re no good— despite all the research that they’re helpful to earth. does the finch know that if that vulture could, he’d hunt for a mirror and show it it’s worth? if that finch is a dove, there’d be something that would still keep it away from achieving true mirth. it’s the vultures, the bird cries before it understood: the vulture has always been a sign of rebirth. a dove, raven, vulture, or finch from the woods, the vultures will find it and double their search. but for someone who claims they feel misunderstood, it’s repulsive the lengths it would go to unearth... something that does not belong to that bird. seems the dove was a raven afterall.”
“pretty good, huh?” the sudden voice behind you makes you jump. “wrote it in, like, ten minutes after class. what can i say? i was inspired.”
you don’t turn around. your face is already on fire from how mortified you are. of course, you’d considered the possibility of being caught. but you hadn’t really realized the weight of that consequence until this moment.
“actually, i think it might be even better than the original,” he continues, footsteps echoing against the tiled floors as he draws nearer. “i mean, you really should’ve thought to flesh out those vulture characters a bit. and you didn’t even consider looking up the well-known symbolism behind them.”
a hot breath fans across the back of your neck, causing you to shiver as a hand wraps around the leather-bound journal and pries it from yours.
“i have to admit, i didn’t really think you had it in you,” he says with a chuckle, fingers suddenly hooking into your waistband and turning you around to face him. he’s in his red and white soccer uniform, skin glistening from the practice meet he should be at right now. “but just in case, i wanted to be prepared. write you something worth reading.”
“h-how did you know?” you stutter quietly. “that i—”
“well, you weren’t exactly subtle, now were you?” hanbin smiles but the light doesn’t reach his eyes. “‘you should read your poem, hanbin. i’m sure it’s exciting with the big game coming up’. like you give a fuck about my poetry.”
that last sentence reminds you of what you thought you’d heard him mumble in class today: not like you’d listen to me anyway.
what was that about?
“aw, don’t get sad now that your plan didn’t go your way,” hanbin coos, lifting his hand to caress your cheek. “i thought it was kind of cute. i can forgive you for stealing, right? you just wanted my attention so badly that you had to play a bit dirty.”
you shake your head quickly. “no, it’s not like that! i swear i wasn’t trying to get your attention, i just—”
“well then, jesus fucking christ, what do i have to do to—,” hanbin snaps before promptly cutting himself off. there’s something in his eyes you’ve never seen before: desperation. 
a large hand wraps around your throat in an instant, shoving you up against a blue locker. the motion knocks the wind out of you and you find yourself gasping for air. your hand flies to remove his from around your neck, but he catches it in his free one and brings it gently back down to your side. 
“i told you in class that if you needed help calling off the vultures, you should ask me while you still can,” hanbin rasps, rubbing his thumb up the left side of your throat. “but you weren’t listening, dove. the gulper got first bite. the rippers tore you apart...”
you breathe shallowly, glancing from side to side for some route of escape.
“but now the king has landed,” he says, tongue flitting across his teeth. “and he’s fucking starving.”
you blink at him, lips parted in stupid shock. “i—... i honestly had no idea you knew so much about vultures.”
“THAT’S WHAT YOU TOOK FROM THAT ARE YOU KID—,” he yells, finger pads digging in tighter to the skin of your neck. his gaze falls to your lips, supple and pretty even in fear. he trails down to your shirt, a button-up front that seems to entice him. “take it off.”
“b-but—.”
“take it the fuck off, (y/n). you should know by now how this goes,” hanbin snarls, grabbing your hand and bringing it to the trail of buttons. you start to fiddle with them, but you have some trouble under the pressure of his gaze. “can’t even undo a button? hm? too fucking stupid, dove?”
you find yourself nodding against all odds.
“need binnie to do it for you?” he coos, smile lines illuminating his face again.
you just nod again. it seems to be what you do best.
hanbin unfastens the buttons one-handed and with ease. once your shirt is open, he tugs it to the side and exposes your chest. then, he sighs with dramatic disappointment. “seriously? that’s it? got me all excited to see how good you look under here and this is what you have to show?”
you look down at your incredibly normal and attractive upper body. you’d never really doubted the aesthetics of it before. should you have?
the humiliating comment causes a lump to form in your throat... and an embarrassingly intense ache to shoot through your heat. 
he tugs the center hem of your shirt, pulling the fabric further off your shoulders. “it’s a good thing the other guys didn’t see this. they’re far more superficial than me. you should be grateful you found a guy who can look past the disappointment. ”
hanbin’s free hand roams across your abdomen and chest, fingers ghosting sweetly against your skin until you let out the tiniest whimper.
“mm, i heard that,” he breathes with a smirk. “even though you never hear me. probably didn’t even fucking clock the first line in that stupid poem. but i hear you, dove. so let me give you what you want. all you have to do is ask.”
you gulp, softly responding, “w-want you to... touch me.”
“yeah?” hanbin affirms, finger trailing down your stomach.
you nod again, this time more assuredly under the guise of his encouraging smile. that is, until a harsh slap stings your cheek.
“well that wasn’t a fucking question, was it?” hanbin hisses, rubbing soothing circles into your cheek with his thumb. “you’re in an advanced poetry class and you don’t even know how to form an interrogative sentence? just must be doodling all the time, huh? about all the boys who’ve made a mess of you this week? like the dumb little slut you are.”
hanbin’s free hand finds it’s way into your jeans, fingers brushing over your clothed core before pulling it out again. you gasp when you see his fingers already covered in your arousal.
his eyes darken as he undoes the button clasp and zipper of your pants, shoving your underwear to the side with his fingers. he forces your legs a bit farther apart before stuffing a finger inside of you, causing you to cry out. 
“oh, dove, why would i wanna put my cock in here, hm? so desperate, i could slip right in,” hanbin says with another sigh of disappointment. “did the other guys really make such a whore of you?”
another bout of worry clouds your mind. was that true? was matthew right? you thought he was just being a red-pilled pig, but... had you somehow been physically tainted from the events of this week?
“so fucking lucky, dove,” hanbin whispers, removing his hand from your center and taking one of yours. he brings it down the front of his athletic shorts and then wraps it around his impossibly hard length. you look up at him, wide-eyed. “where every other man would see damaged goods, i see prime real estate.”
“what—”
“gonna fuck you now, m’kay?” hanbin interjects, pulling his shorts down and exposing himself to you. you hadn’t really seen the other boys up close or at all like this. hanbin’s cock is pretty— long with just a few visible veins and a pink head that’s leaking a bit of pre-cum. it makes your mouth water. maybe you are a dumb slut.
maybe you like it like that.
or maybe it’s just hanbin’s large hand covering your throat, pressing at the sides both tenderly and persistently that’s making you feel a bit high. he brings himself to your entrance, spitting in his hand and covering his length as he lines up the tip. he’s about to push himself inside of you, when he suddenly freezes.
“you want me to, right?” hanbin asks, tone suddenly much softer than it was before. his eyes are locked with yours, holding you there with him against the wall of lockers. “you want me inside you? just me. not those other guys? not junseo hyung-nim or—”
BEEEEEEEEEP. BRRANG. BRRANG. BRRANG. BEEEEEEEE....
a fire alarm rips through the locker room, loud and annoying as ever. you try to jump out of hanbin’s grasp, but his hands stay fixed around you. 
“let me... let me go!” you assert, hitting his chest with your palm. the pressure on your neck that felt so good just a few moments ago is now filling you with fear, “are you trying to kill me or something!?”
his brow raises slightly, as if he only just noticed the alarm. his grip loosens and you take the opportunity to scramble away from him, frantically zipping up your jeans. 
“of course i’m not,” he replies dejectedly, re-situating his shorts before huffing, “like you have a body worth going to jail for.”
“oh, shut up,” you retort, rolling your eyes as you race to re-button your shirt. “this is all YOUR fault. whatever’s going on this week, i know you’re behind it. you’ve run out of ideas to keep me small. but i’m not small. in fact, i’m a much bigger person than you are! so... i’m sorry for whatever i did that made you hate me so much in the first place. now, please, let’s get out of here.”
you start to run down the aisle of lockers towards the exit door, but a lack of footsteps behind you causes you to stop and turn back.
“come on,” you urge as hanbin continues to stand in place and stare at you, unmoving. it might be the most infuriating thing he’s done all day. “oh, fucking burn then.”
the tangible anger in your voice startles both of you. hanbin blinks quickly back at you, wide-eyed as if you’ve just slapped him across the face. whoever gave him the right to feel that way is sorely mistaken. you turn back around, throwing over your shoulder:
“are there birds worse than vultures?”
294 notes · View notes
aectpen · 6 months
Text
3 of Us - poly!haobin x reader
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m.list
pairing: haobin x reader
genre: angst with happy ending
synopsis: hanbin and hao have a fight that leaves you in the middle
words: .9k
You stared up at the ceiling. Sandwiched between Hanbin and Hao, unable to toss and turn, you found yourself incapable of even catching a wink of rest. Their backs were turned away, oblivious to your restless night.
Earlier that evening, Hanbin and Hao engaged in a heated argument sparked by Hao's perceived "flirting" with an old friend at the market. Hanbin's reaction stemmed from his deep affection for you; he became upset with Hao for appearing excessively friendly towards the girl in your presence. It's true that you experienced a twinge of jealousy, with a tightness in your chest as you observed the way Hao tilted his head and smiled at her—the same way he usually did with you.
Despite all of that, you hesitated to bring it up. After all, he isn’t in contact with her, so why harbor any resentment? However, even though you mentally decided to let it go, your feelings manifested in your expressions and actions. Throughout the rest of the day, a subtle pout lingered on your face, and when Hao inquired about something, your responses were brief. Hanbin took note of all of this, but didn’t want to make a scene.
The moment the three of you reached home, Hanbin immediately pounced on the opportunity to call him out.
“So you’re just gonna act oblivious?” Hanbin raised his voice. Hao only laughed, thinking Hanbin was joking. “That girl. You were so obvious!”
You stayed silent, not wanting to start a fight, nor participate in one.
“She was just a friend that I hadn’t seen in a while.” Hao explained, raising his hands.
“The way you were acting. It was just disrespectful. Do you not notice when y/n is upset about stuff like this?” Tears welled in your eyes. You dreaded sparking a conflict between them, silently praying that Hanbin wouldn't address the underlying reason for your uncharacteristic behavior, devoid of your usual affectionate demeanor.
“Why do you always have to speak for her? Do you enjoy causing problems?” That's when it escalated beyond its initial scope. When you resort to a personal jab, you lose sight of the main issue and attempt to deliver an even more hurtful blow.
The remark ignited a shouting match between the two, spiraling into a confrontation where the original cause of their disagreement became unclear. Anger clouded their judgment, rendering the argument directionless. Despite your plea for them to stop, they remained deaf to reason. Their conflicts were infrequent, only arising from trivial matters.
You just wanted it to end. Even if Hao’s actions hurt your feelings, you knew he didn’t have malicious intent. He was just a friendly person. You also know Hanbin only came at him because of his love for you.  He couldn’t stand to see you upset without an apology.
The remainder of the night unfolded in silence. Not a word was spoken. Tension hung thick in the air, palpable enough to be sliced with a knife. The anger was so intense that neither of them could bring themselves to talk to you. Each person carried out their nightly routine in solitude.
None of you were angry enough to sleep separately. You thought about it, but neither of them raised the idea. Hanbin went to sleep first, followed by you, then Hao. They slept on their sides, both facing away from you.
Sleep eluded you as you dwelled on the unfolding events. You beat yourself up for allowing them to sleep harboring anger. You played out alternate scenarios in your mind, envisioning a timeline where you intervened promptly, and everyone went to sleep in a comforting embrace. Yet, even in that hypothetical situation, you couldn't escape the possibility of making Hanbin feel guilty for defending you.
You tuned into the gentle rhythm of their breathing, observing the subtle rise and fall of their shoulders. Thoughts of the morning ahead invaded your mind, anticipating the impending silence. The last thing you wished for was them waking up with furrowed brows and lingering pouts.
The echo of their hurtful words played on a loop in your mind. You couldn't shake off the realization that your own jealousy had fueled the current situation. A quiet sniffle escaped you as tears traced a path down the side of your face, dampening your pillow. 
The supposedly hushed sniffles didn't escape Hanbin's notice. He shifted to face you. "Trouble sleeping?"
Turning toward him, he glimpsed your slightly puffy eyes and pursed lips, prompting him to tenderly touch your cheek. "Is this about us? God, I'm so sorry, y/n."
"No need to apologize. It's my fault it happened in the first place," you self-criticized.
"It's not," he insisted, shaking his head vigorously. "Things got out of hand. At this point, it's nobody's fault."
“I just want it to be over. I don’t want anyone to be mad.” You held on to his hand.
Both of you directed your attention to Hao, who was now propped up on both elbows.
“I’m sorry. I was being dismissive and mean.” He leaned towards you.
“I’m sorry for not listening to you and being mean too.” Hanbin returned the apology.
“Now kith,” you said, earning a laugh from the both of them.
Hanbin positioned himself between the two of you, encircling his arms around you both, drawing you closer. You and Hao intertwine your hands over Hao’s chest, blowing air kisses at each other. The three of you drifted off to sleep, accompanied by a harmonious chorus of soft snores, just as it was meant to be.
253 notes · View notes
riotokki · 5 months
Text
ㅤㅤㅤㅤꔫㅤWINTER FAIRYTALE⠀𖫲⠀⠀SUNG HANBIN,
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͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏͏ ͏ ͏ ͏𐬹 ୨౿ ꤫ paring⠀𖫲⠀⠀sung hanbin && fem reader, genre⠀𖫲⠀⠀highschool au && series, warnings⠀𖫲⠀⠀will be added in the chapters, wc⠀𖫲⠀⠀???
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ㅤꔫㅤSYNOPSIS⠀𖫲⠀⠀winter had always been that time of the year where you'd wish everything would suddenly disappear. but that all changed when you met him, you felt as though a part of you had been found, one that you'd so desperately been searching for.
ㅤꔫㅤSTATUS⠀𖫲⠀⠀on hold,
ㅤꔫㅤUPDATES⠀𖫲⠀⠀???,
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ㅤ꒰͡ 𐙚 ͡꒱ㅤCHAPTERS⠀𖫲⠀⠀
prologue⠀𖫲⠀⠀first meeting,
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͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏͏ ͏ ͏ ͏𐬹 ୨౿ ꤫ LETTERS⠀𖫲⠀⠀riotokki, omg..... this took a bit..... anyways hii! i decided to make a series bc why not 🤭 (i probably won't even make it to the prologue but ykw..... whatever 😍) also let's not talk abt the moodboard thing.... idk why i couldn't find stuff that would fit together 😭anyways. hopefully with it being thanksgiving break i can get a few chapters out!!! (i plan on getting the prologue out sometime tomorrow maybe? if everything goes well) but with that being said thats all for now!!! bye bye 🫂💗💗💗
ㅤꔫㅤTAGLIST⠀𖫲⠀⠀@bunreis, @leehanist, ask to join!
ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ © riotokki 2023.ㅤꔫㅤonly on tumblr.
46 notes · View notes
rickyswift · 11 months
Note
MEU DEUS! Finalmente alguém que escreve coisa do zb1, meu momento chegou. Querida se você escrever qualquer coisa com o Hanbin eu tô soltando foguete. Te imploro.
Beijinhos 🫂
oii :) como você não especificou, escrevi um smut 🤭 mas caso queira algo diferente, só me mandar outra ask!
misturei um pouco com angst e acho q ficou legal, espero q goste <3 tô com bastante sono então talvez tenha alguns errinhos, perdão 🥺 beijinhos
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sung hanbin x leitora (pronomes femininos)
gêneros: smut e angst
avisos: meio que dom!hanbin, leitora tem uma vagina, relacionamento proibido, oral (leitora recebe), masturbação (leitora recebe e leve menção com hanbin recebendo), cream pie, nipple play, palavras sujas, hanbin é um "menino de ouro", sexo desprotegido (não façam isso pf 🥺)
hanbin gemia contra a tua boca enquanto você se esfregava no colo dele. vocês estavam escondidos no quartinho da limpeza da faculdade durante uma tarde livre, tentando aliviar os desejos carnais que tinham um pelo outro. o cheiro de produto químico era forte, só não mais que o ímã dentro da calça de hanbin, que fazia sua mão descer sozinha sem que você percebesse.
você abriu o zíper da calça e passou a explorar a parte íntima dele. quando a mão chegou no pau, meu deus, foi como se o sung tivesse visto estrelas. a intenção não era essa mas ele acabou mordiscando seu lábio inferior durante o beijo. — ai! — você imediatamente tirou a mão dali e levantou do colo do moreno.
— desculpa, desculpa! v-volta, por favor. — ele esticou o braço e pegou na sua mão, puxando ela levemente para tentar te trazer pra perto mas você se desvencilhou do toque. óbvio que você não estava realmente brava, foi até gostoso, mas ver o majestoso sung hanbin, que era o anjo do campus, implorando aos seus pés era bom demais. — não faz assim, s/n... — ele levantou do caixote que estava sentado e começou a ir em sua direção. você queria o evitar mas ele foi aos poucos te encurralando no cômodo minúsculo.
— bebê. — as sobrancelhas de hanbin ficavam mais franzidas conforme o tempo passava, como se ele estivesse te pedindo algo.
e no fundo ele realmente estava.
vocês não tinham uma relação muito profunda, mas a sua presença era viciante para hanbin. você não o sufocava - a não ser que ele pedisse - como o resto das pessoas e ele podia ser quem quisesse ao teu lado, inclusive um cachorro pidão e carente. ele queria ter um lugar na sua vida, queria que os outros soubessem que ele era seu, queria sentir em público a liberdade que ele sentia quando estava em pontos cegos contigo, ele queria que não tivesse tantos holofotes queimando a sua cabeça e observando cada movimento que fazia.
— eu preciso de você. — a frase saiu muito sexual devido ao momento em que estavam, mas ele falou sério. ele necessitava de você o tempo todo, ele dependia de você como se fosse uma droga.
a intenção da frase ficou explícita apesar do ato que praticavam. você não soube o que responder pois o sentimento não era mútuo, pelo menos era o que você queria acreditar. seria pressão demais em seus ombros ter ligação romântica com o senhor perfeitinho.
você já imaginava que isso aconteceria mais cedo ou mais tarde mas esperava que não fosse agora. ele realmente é uma pessoa legal mas você não vive como ele, as personalidades de vocês não eram nem um pouco parecidas e as reputações eram opostas.
— não fala isso, bin. você sabe muito bem o motivo de fazermos isso nesse quarto imundo e não na sua casa, não sabe?
ele sabia. a mãe dele é a reitora da faculdade, o pai é ministro e sempre tem alguém na cola de hanbin para tentar derrubar seus pais. ele sabia exatamente os motivos e por isso decidiu não te responder.
— por favor, não se apega, tá? acho melhor encerrarmos isso, vai ser mais fácil pra você. — você tenta sair mas hanbin te prende pela cintura.
você levanta o rosto para o olhar e nota lágrimas solitárias escorrendo pelas bochechas. a sua primeira reação é erguer a mão para secar, mas você para no meio do caminho.
— uma última vez, por favor. só mais uma... — ele se curva e começa a distribuir beijos molhados pelo seu pescoço, te puxando pela cintura até chegar no caixote que estavam antes. lá, ele te empurra suavemente para você sentar. — posso?
você pensou por alguns segundos. talvez sexo seja uma boa ideia para uma despedida, não é? visto que fazem isso há alguns bons meses...
— é a última vez. — ele deu um sorriso dolorido ao ouvir sua resposta.
se é um adeus, que ao menos ele aproveite a fatal prova de seu vício.
hanbin começa a tirar a própria roupa e você o imita, ambos ficando apenas de roupa íntima. ele então se ajoelha no chão e prontamente coloca sua calcinha para o lado, caindo de boca na sua buceta.
você fechou os olhos para tentar memorizar cada movimento da língua quente do homem. no fundo também não queria essa despedida, mas era o melhor que podiam fazer. suas mãos foram até os cabelos de hanbin e deram uma leve puxada mas que foi o suficiente para que ele gemesse alto contra sua vagina.
o moreno ficou por um bom tempo de chupando, um bom tempo mesmo. você já não aguentava mais, já tinha gozado quatro - ou teriam sido cinco? - vezes.
— bin. — você gemeu. — parece que você não quer me deixar ir embora. — disse em tom de piada.
— eu realmente não quero. — você o olhou e quase gozou de novo. ele tinha um olhar cortante e sexy, um pouco amedrontador, mas o contraste com o rosa dos lábios inchados dele e das bochechas por causa do calor fazia com que ele parece apenas fofo. o queixo dele estava molhado e dava pra ver que escorria pelo pescoço, passava pela sua tatuagem e chegava até o peito.
ele finalmente saiu do meio de suas coxas e ficou de pé, o quadril dele estava quase que na sua altura - já que estava sentada -. você viu que tinha uma mancha grande na cueca e presumiu que ele havia chegado ao ápice enquanto te lambia.
hanbin botou teus braços em torno do próprio pescoço para que você segurasse e ele pudesse te levantar para tirar a calcinha encharcada. logo em seguida ele também tirou a própria cueca e tua boca encheu de água. era comprido e tinha o diâmetro perfeito, a cabeça era um pouco maior que o resto e era bem vermelhinha, quase que da mesma cor dos lábios dele, a extensão inteira brilhava de porra e suor, o que deixava mais suculento ainda. você já viu bin pelado outras vezes, obviamente, mas toda vez você se surpreendia com o quão gostoso ele era. só de pensar que aquele pau nunca mais ia te penetrar, o arrependimento batia.
você se mexeu para o lado, dando espaço para hanbin sentar no caixote também mas ele recusou, te puxou pela cintura e te virou de frente para a parede. foi quando você se inclinou para a frente, se empinando todinha pra receber pica, que percebeu que ainda estava usando sutiã - hanbin estava ocupado demais e você nem estava no estado mais consciente -. hanbin também percebeu e abriu o fecho dele para você, ele deslizou as alças pelos seus ombros e braços com as próprias mãos até seus seios ficarem livres. o contato dos mamilos com a parede fria te fez soltar um gemido manhoso e você começou a se esfregar contra a parede para que o estímulo não parasse.
enquanto assistia seu showzinho, hanbin dava algumas estocadas em seu próprio punho para lubrificar mais ainda seu membro. quando chegou no estado que queria, ele pegou firme no teu quadril e puxou para trás, rindo quando viu que você já estava rebolando procurando o pau dele.
o quarto da limpeza antes fedia com o cheiro de produto, agora ele fede ao cheiro de sexo.
ele introduziu só a cabecinha e ficou parado por um tempo. aproveitou disso para fazer movimentos indescritíveis com seus seios, apertando aqui, espremendo acolá, fazendo com que a tua lubrificação escorresse pelo pau dele até pingar no chão. quando hanbin achou que estava bom, começou a tirar e a botar a cabeça com rapidez. normalmente as pessoas reclamariam disso mas pra você muitas vezes era mais gostoso que a penetração total, a provocação te excitava mais. o moreno desceu uma das mãos que estava nos teus peitos e começou a fazer movimentos circulares rápidos.
— vou gozar dentro, tá? vou te encher de porra pra você lembrar de mim. minha gozada vai ser tão cheia que daqui um mês ainda vai estar escorrendo dentro pelas tuas coxas. você quer, hm? — bin cochichava no pé do seu ouvido enquanto dava chupões no seu pescoço. você gemia loucamente.
— quero, bin! me enche, por f-favor. enche a tua vadia todinha... — a cabeça do pau dele latejou na sua vagina pelas suas falas quase tão sujas quanto as dele.
eram tantos estímulos que você não aguentou e chegou ao climax, sendo seguida por hanbin. como a cabeça do membro dele estava sendo comprimido somente na entrada da sua bucetinha, você sentiu os jatos de porra rebatendo no seu interior oco, fazendo com que gemesse mais ainda.
você achava que já tinha acabado e era a hora do adeus, porém hanbin ainda não estava pronto. ele começou a te meter de novo, forte e rápido, te fazendo tremer e ficar com as pernas bambas.
ele não tardou a gozar, te estocou mais algumas vezes para garantir que a porra dele estivesse bem funda e cremosa. ele te virou de frente e se abaixou para olhar, só para ter certeza. era a visão dos deus: todo o interior das suas coxas estava molhado, os lábios da buceta inchados pelo impacto e o líquido dele escorria do seu buraquinho precioso, estava esbranquiçado e espesso, do jeito que ele queria. ele se levantou e te deu um selinho rápido, sorrindo pela obra que ele criou.
depois de um tempo em silêncio vocês olharam para o chão num momento de realização e tristeza, mas o clima foi quebrado quando notaram a poça de lubrificação que havia se formado no chão. vocês riram e se vestiram para poder usar os utensílios do quartinho e limpar a bagunça.
após a limpeza, sentaram no caixote por alguns minutos até você perceber que, se ficasse mais um minuto ali, iria desistir. você levantou abruptamente de onde estava sentada, assustando hanbin que olhou preocupado.
você inspirou fundo, sentiu o cheiro de sexo que permaneceu no ambiente mesmo após o chão limpo. — tá começando o período da noite e eu tenho aula. — silêncio. — acho melhor eu ir. até, bin.
ele levantou para poder te beijar e você deixou, foi um beijo romântico, caloroso, e sentimental, como nunca haviam dado antes. você sentiu algo molhado entre as bochechas e pensou ser hanbin chorando novamente, mas quando abriu os olhos e notou a visão embaçada, percebeu que quem chorava era você.
— eu espero que você volte pra mim um dia.
— talvez.
então saiu do cômodo, deixando para trás um hanbin despreparado para encarar uma abstinência de você.
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65 notes · View notes
cinnajun · 10 months
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ᵕ̈ ೫˚∗: zb1 when they get jealous
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a/n: this is my istj waiting room activity
notes: yujin is not included due to his age, jiwoong’s is set in the real world (aka he’s an idol), did not proofread
wc | 4.2k
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jiwoong
i don’t think jiwoong gets jealous often
it’s just not his first thought when it comes to certain things LOL
but, depending on the situation, he absolutely will get jealous, but not in the way most people do
many people digest jealousy/envy as a big emotion but i don’t think it’s very big for jiwoong
and he knows that his jealousy isn’t something you should have to deal with but he doesn’t want to deal with it either so he’ll do his best to get rid of the issue without you knowing, which means making up creative ways to squash the situation
they all incorporate wherever you are
so let’s say you’re at the mall, you’re waiting for him to get out of a store, and a guy walks up to you and starts chatting you up
jiwoong will walk up to you and smile at whatever guy is flirting with you, acting completely fine
and then he’ll dip down and whisper something into your ear, and it’s usually something super unserious
“there’s a 50% sale at the ice cream shop and you get a fun cup for free”
you’re gone, he’s happy, and whatever guy was chatting you up is completely out of the picture
things are different when it comes to his members though
he always knew you liked kids and was well aware that you often volunteered to help out with kids, and he knew that you tutored high school students throughout university
nevertheless, jiwoong never thought han yujin would be his worst enemy
JIWOONG IS NORMALLY the most patient person you know—he can sit with you in a shop for an hour, watching you debate over two different mugs to buy without voicing one complaint. However, for some reason, watching you cook Yujin’s lunch is the worst thing he’s ever had to experience.
You had insisted on it after finding out he was planning on going to school after how long they’d been promoting, saying that it would be hard for him to go to school without anyone to cook him lunch. Jiwoong insisted that Hanbin probably would’ve, but you brushed him off, saying it wouldn’t take you long.
An hour and a half later, he was still sitting there, watching you cut watermelon into flowers. It was nearly 8 o’clock, and the movie you were going to was due to start at 8:45—meaning you had to leave soon.
“Are you almost done?” he asked, putting his down on the counter. You scoffed, putting the lid onto the last section of Yujin’s lunch box.
“What’s up with you?” you asked, beginning to wrap it up. “You’ve asked three times in the last hour.”
“I’m jealous that you’re spending more time fussing over Yujin’s lunch than hanging out with your boyfriend, whom you haven’t seen in a long time.”
“You’re jealous over Yujin?” you asked, exasperated, turning around and putting your hands on your hips. “He’s your kid too! You should help out! What father is jealous of their own child?”
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zhang hao
there are 2 men in zb1 that don’t get jealous literally ever and hao is one of them
literally how could he be jealous when he’s zhang hao
most of the time, actually, you’re the one getting jealous (which makes sense, because he’s zhang hao)
and he always mocks you for it, which you hate
he’ll say something like “aw, do you think they’re going to steal me away from you?” and you have to resist the urge to punch him in the stomach
so when he actually gets jealous it is sooooo much fun for you
you milk it to no end. it is an opportunity you CANNOT waste
most of the time, it happens at his fancy violinist events, where you meet other people who are just as talented and impressive as him (and sometimes, they’re pretty attractive, too)
when he’s jealous, he sticks to your side and gets a little bit mean, especially towards whoever he’s jealous of
gets super touchy too
has a hand around your waist and drags you around with him just to make sure everyone gets the big picture
one day, he notices you and hanbin have been hanging out a lot all of a sudden, and it makes him really, really jealous
mostly because he can’t do his little flaunt routine, because he’s flaunted you to him enough
and then you realize he’s jealous that you and hanbin have been spending a lot of time together planning his birthday party
so obviously you capitalize on it immediately
it backfires on you
HAO WASN’T TRYING to be dramatic, but when he swung the door to Hanbin’s apartment open, having dug the spare key out from under the mat, he couldn’t help but march in like a soldier going to war.
You and Hanbin were sitting at his dining table, both of your laptops open. You had a cup of tea on the table, too, in a mug Hao knew he’d gifted Hanbin for his birthday a couple of years back.
“You let him make you tea?” he exclaimed, throwing his hands in the air like he was in some sort of drama. Both you and Hanbin stared at him in a mix of shock and confusion, wondering what in the world had caused him to barge in like that. Sure, you were beginning to pick up the fact that he was jealous of your business meetings with his best friend, but you weren’t exactly aware of how far you’d let it progress.
“Well, I made the tea—”
“You know where he keeps his tea?” he cut you off, staring at you while tapping his foot on the ground. “I am sick of this. How am I being left out by my partner and my best friend? What did I do to deserve this?”
“I think you’re getting the wrong idea,” Hanbin said, slowly closing his laptop. “We aren’t hanging out, per se, so we aren’t exactly leaving you out.”
“Then why have you spent hours upon hours together over the past week?”
You placed a hand over your mouth, trying to stop from laughing. “Hao, please be serious. What’s next week?”
His cheeks turned bright red, and you wished you could’ve got his big outburst on video.
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hanbin
i am a believer that hanbin get sooo jealous (have you seen him glare at people's interaction with hao LOL)
he’s like the nicest guy on earth so there has to be one negative emotion that he feels
and it’s quite literally only over his loved ones, nothing else
will get jealous if people spend too much time with hao
will get even more jealous if people steal your attention away from him
he doesn’t even get jealous over things he should be getting jealous over, it’s things he hallucinates
“that guy stared at you a little too weirdly…”
“he was just our waiter?”
“still he was too friendly…i got bad vibes”
when hanbin gets jealous, though, it’s not very serious and never causes a problem between you two
he might hold your hand a little tighter or not be very fond of leaving you alone, but otherwise it’s not an issue
there are instances where his jealousy can get serious, and most of the time it’s pretty warranted (and this is when hanbin leans towards protective)
you’ll be watching one of his performances among a bunch of his peers and someone will get a little too touchy with you
and dancers are very hot so he might get a little insecure too
he will stomp over to you, sweaty and tired, and drag you away without saying a word to whoever was chatting you up
other than that his jealousy is kind of cute
hanbin doesn’t view any of the boys as enemies but sometimes matthew can be super cute
and while he considers matthew one of his best friends sometimes he forgets that matthew is just like that and isn’t trying to woo you
matthew, however, is well versed in the art that is hanbinism and is immune to it
YOU KNOW HANBIN like the back of your hand. He’s sweet, pretty, and enjoys being around the people he loves. And, you know for a fact Matthew is one of the people he loves. Nevertheless, when he skips up to you two with a white rose he picked, Taerae in tow, you can practically see a vein pop out of Hanbin’s head.
“Look at how pretty this is!” he smiled, and you nodded, agreeing with him. “Taerae and I found a bush of them, and I figured I’d pick one to give to you.”
You hear Hanbin scoff, and, feeling panic rush up your throat, you turn to him with horror flowing through you. The look in his eyes is dangerous, and a sort of shallow smile appears on his face—you don’t like it one bit. You turn back to Matthew, who seems completely unphased, and instead keeps talking.
“Here,” he said, holding it out to Hanbin. He stares at it, raising his eyebrows in confusion.
“I thought you were giving it to [First]?”
“Huh? That would be weird,” Matthew replies, tilting his head. You hear Taerae begin to laugh, likely at Hanbin, and you have to hold back a little chuckle as well. “Wouldn’t you be the one to give a rose to them? Anyway, here you go.”
Hanbin, dumbfounded, takes the rose from Matthew’s hand, and he and Taerae disappear off into the distance.
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matthew
matthew is #2 of men in zb1 who don’t get jealous often
literally doesn’t have the brain capacity for it
he’s like a universal friend, and universal friends don’t get jealous of anybody, nor do they distrust their significant others
a more appropriate word to use would be uncomfortable
at least that’s what matthew says when he gets jealous LOL
he genuinely doesn’t think he feels jealous because he doesn’t have any worry that whoever is talking to you is going to “steal” you away from him, but he certainly doesn’t appreciate anybody hardcore flirting with you
he can handle a “you’re so pretty” or an “i love your outfit” but if someone is persisting and he can tell you’re uncomfortable (both factors have to be present, or he’ll just let you handle it yourself) he will do his best to shut it down
but in the matthew way
so he walks over to you with a big smile on his face and starts talking to you like he normally would
“hey, babe, i lost you for a second”
whoever’s talking to you literally can’t keep going because of how nice matthew is
“oh, who’s this? it’s nice to meet you! i’m [first]’s boyfriend, matthew”
they’re gone within 2 minutes and matthew is feeling successful
he’ll probably give you a kiss on the cheek afterwards just to hammer home his point
he will, however, admit that he gets jealous of the other members lol
it’s mostly because he considers them his friends, though, so the idea that you’d be into one of them is scary to him
as a result, he gets a little wary when he stumbles upon you chatting with jiwoong at a party
BEFORE MATTHEW LEFT to go get a drink, you were sitting on the couch, playing a game on your phone. He planned to tell you that you could leave after he finished the drink, but when he returned, Jiwoong was sitting across from you, speaking with you.
The smile on your face was genuine, and you seemed overjoyed that you weren’t bored anymore. And, subconsciously, Matthew took it as you being happy that Jiwoong was talking to you, and not because you were glad you wouldn’t have to drag Matthew away from his friends anymore (which was the truth).
He sat back down next to you, sitting on the edge of the seat and putting his cup down on the coffee table. You smiled at him, and Jiwoong said his hellos, to which Matthew replied less than enthusiastically.
“We were just chatting about the new art exhibit that opened up at the museum. You know, the one we went to last week?”
“Yeah, I remember,” he said, taking a long sip of the drink. You raised an eyebrow, finally picking up that Matthew was feeling a bit jealous. “You planning on going again, or something?”
“Nope,” Jiwoong cut in, leaning back in his chair. “Actually, [First] was just talking about how much she enjoyed going with you, as you seemed to like it a lot. She said your eyes were sparkling the entire time.”
Matthew shut up quick after that, and you didn’t mention it ever again.
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taerae
taerae’s jealousy is silent
you won’t know he’s jealous until well after the event has occurred
he might bring it up in passing weeks later and you’re absolutely dumbfounded
mostly because you had no clue
“you were jealous?”
“yeah, he kept staring at your lips and was getting super touchy with you. how would i not be jealous?”
you think about the interaction for hours afterward, you skim through all the memories, and you cannot figure out where he conveyed he was jealous
he’s so good at masking any negative emotion that when you manage to notice his jealousy it’s almost a little bit scary
you’ll be talking with someone, it doesn’t matter who, and you’ll look over at him for a second and notice this weird look in his eyes
and then you’ll be hyperaware of how everything he says has this sharp edge to it
little jabs that neither you or whoever you’re talking to would be able to pick up unless they were actively looking for hostility
lowkey it’s kind of attractive LOL
taerae’s usually the picture of “kind” so seeing him go into a lockdown mode is a bit fun for you, even if it’s barely noticeable
after the event that made him jealous he’s super touchy with you which is also fun for you
because taerae gives gooood hugs and is comfortable to lay on
so, long story short, if he’s ever jealous of the boys you don’t know until afterward
sometimes even weeks after the fact
and obviously when you were fawning over zhang hao after his violin recital, which taerae had taken you to, you weren’t exactly aware of the way he was staring at hao
WHEN TAERAE GRABS your hand about a minute into your drive, lacing all of your fingers together and pulling your hand onto his lap, your jaw drops. You turn to look at him with shock on your face, trying to find the words to say. “No way,” you gasped, putting your other hand over your mouth. 
He looks over at you for a brief second, confused as to why you’re suddenly making such a big deal that he was holding your hand. “What? I don’t understand.”
“You were jealous? Of Hao?” you exclaimed, letting your hand drop from your mouth. “Why? I mean, he did well, did he not? Was I too complimentary? Do I need to reel it back next time?”
“What? No, you were just being nice. Where did you get the idea I was jealous?”
“You say that, but in a month and a half, you’re going to be like, ‘You know what made me super jealous?’ and then you’re going to drop three bombs on me,” you replied. “And this is going to be included. So, just say it now, so we can get it over with.”
Taerae blinked a couple of times, tightening his grip on your hand. “Okay, maybe I was a little jealous—”
You wrenched your hand away from his, clapping excitedly. “Oh, I’m a genius! I have a degree in Taeraeology now, seriously.”
“What in the world is Taeraeology?”
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ricky
when ricky gets jealous it’s like not a competition
he just shuts the situation down
i mean he’s so tall and so gorgeous that anybody who tries anything with you is immediately so intimidated the moment he does anything, he barely even has to talk
he literally has a neck tattoo like that’s terrifying
as a result he does not have the time to get seriously jealous because anyone who’s flirting with you is sprinting away the moment they lay eyes on him approaching you
most of the time people don’t even try anything anyway because they see you with him before you’re separated
for the few that are willing to stand up to ricky, it’s pretty funny for you to watch
“[first], who’s this?” and you watch the competitor cartoon-gulp right in front of you
they maybe last about 15 seconds before they bid you goodbye out of pure intimidation like good for you ricky
if it’s one of the days where he looks incredibly cute and soft (you know what i’m talking about) things tend to go south because ricky is awkward and his strong suit is rbf
at which point you end up having to be the one to be like “okay, me and my boyfriend are going to head out now!” LOL
among the jebis the only one ricky is going to get jealous of is gyuvin and that’s because they’re the same age and very close
he knows gyuvin will never make a move on you but that doesn’t stop him from getting jealous when gyuvin is taking up too much of your attention
and he’ll straight up tell him to fuck off too LOL
riyangis i get you
GYUVIN LOOKS LIKE he’s about to burst into laughter as Ricky stands next to you, arms crossed and eyes narrowed. He never takes Ricky’s jealousy seriously, which you understand why, given the fact that they’re best friends, and he has absolutely no interest in you whatsoever.
“You should go home now,” Ricky insists, motioning towards the front door. “I think we’ve hung out for long enough today.”
It was partially your fault for introducing a topic Ricky wasn’t versed in, but Gyuvin was the only other person you knew had watched the show you were watching, and you were itching to talk about it with somebody who understood. But, you’d pushed it too far, and he’d gotten a bit upset that you were focusing on Gyuvin when he had barged into your date.
“Aw, but [First] is my friend, too.”
“And, if we were both drowning, she’d choose me over you. What’s your point?”
Gyuvin burst into laughter, clutching his stomach as he wobbled towards the door. You held back your laughter as best you could, nearly losing it as Gyuvin struggled to put on the pair of bright yellow Crocs he decided to wear when he walked over. He opened the door and slammed it shut, yet you could still hear him laughing outside.
Then, you couldn’t hold it back anymore. You laughed so hard that you also had to hold your stomach, and Ricky marched away from you, ignoring the halfassed apologies that fell from your lips.
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gyuvin
gyuvin isn’t usually a jealous guy but he can get jealous, as opposed to hao and matthew who virtually never get jealous
when he gets jealous though it’s somewhat upsetting
it usually means something happened that wounded his pride or made him feel insecure, which you don’t enjoy obviously
so 99.9% of the time, if gyuvin is jealous, it’s because one of the members did something to/with you that he wasn’t super okay with
it’s never anything minute, like one of them liking an instagram post or something stupid, rather something happening under his nose
he loves and respects them a lot so the idea that they did something with his s/o without him knowing makes him super duper unhappy
and then he’ll start to think that there’s something they have that he didn’t, so he gets a bit insecure, too
but he absolutely will convince himself it’s not a big deal so then he’s just in an extra bad mood for the rest of the day
you usually have to squeeze whatever’s wrong out of him and, when you manage to, you feel really bad
because usually whatever happened to upset him was something you thought you’d addressed with him and/or thought he knew about
like ricky, he gets most jealous over things that happen between you and ricky
because you’re all close in age and gyuvin and ricky spend all of their time together, you’re obviously friends with him too
and, in ricky’s seasonal instagram wrap up post, he notices a selfie of you two in what he thinks was a hangout you had together without him knowing based on the background
it ruins his day so fast :( but you make sure to patch up the misunderstanding
GYUVIN HATES THE WAY HE FEELS as he gears up to speak, twiddling his thumbs while you sit across from him at the table, a frown painting your face. He doesn’t like it when you look sad, and he doesn’t like feeling this way or addressing that he feels it. So, when the time comes where he has to talk about it, it eats him up from the inside out.
“Did you hang out with Ricky? Without me?”
You immediately furrow your eyebrows, as if you’re confused. “Not that I know of? I barely even text Ricky outside of the group chat the three of us have. Where’d you get that idea?”
Embarrassed, Gyuvin decides to pull up the post, turning his phone to face you. You take it from his hands, bringing it closer to your face so that you can get a better look at it. Then, recognition floods your features, and your frown turns into a smile. “That was when we roadtripped to the beach. Not pictured here are you and Taerae, who were getting us coffee.”
Gyuvin snatches the phone back, feeling even more embarrassed. He zooms in on the background parts, ignoring you and Ricky, quickly realizing that the filter Ricky put on the picture made the water look much bluer than it actually had been, leading him to believe you’d gone on your own separate beach trip. Feeling the blood rush to his cheeks, Gyuvin smiled crookedly.
“My bad.”
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gunwook
i actually struggled with this
on one hand i don’t think gunwook would get jealous easily
he’s a very reasonable boyfriend and has quite literally never wronged you
on the other hand i do think he would get jealous somewhat frequently
in the same way as taerae, it’s very quiet jealousy, but you will literally never know with him
he won’t ever bring it up after it happens and will just. move on
he also might get a little snarky with whoever approached you afterwards, but never when you’re around, so you are none the wiser
if you find out gunwook got jealous, you are finding out from other people, which you think is absolutely insane
one day you’ll be like cordially chatting with gyuvin and he’ll bring up this one time gunwook got super mega jealous over one of your guy friends and how it haunted him for months and you’re like ??? what
gyuvin is like you DIDN’T know? and then you learn about every single time gunwook has gotten jealous and then told him + yujin + ricky about it
apparently it was so obvious to the boys that hanbin literally asked him about it
you’re flabbergasted 
so then you approach gunwook like “wtf is this?” and he’s like
“oh yeah”
what do you mean OH YEAH?
you’re actually so shocked
gunwook isn’t the type to get jealous of the boys though like that just straight up won’t happen
doesn’t matter who you’re talking to, how much time you spend with them, etc
he knows they’d never pull something with you ever so you could literally go on a remote vacation to the amazon rainforest with NO cell service with like hanbin and he wouldn’t give a shit
TAERAE WAS BUSY, which meant you’d dragged Hanbin along with you to go shopping for Christmas presents for the boys. You’d been dating Gunwook long enough that you felt like it was a good way to show gratitude for them, and Hanbin agreed to take you to the mall to get the gifts.
Of course, you couldn’t take Gunwook, because you were planning on buying a good chunk of his gift, too, which meant you hadn’t told him where you were going. So, when he called, you were somewhat apprehensive to pick up.
Hanbin, on the other hand, looked terrified.
“Can I come over? I’m bored,” he asked, and you held back the urge to laugh as you stared at Hanbin, who looked like he’d seen a ghost.
“I’m Christmas-present shopping with Hanbin, actually. Sorry.”
Hanbin’s jaw dropped, likely at the fact that you just came right out with it, but you weren’t worried in the slightest. “Oh, okay. That’s cool. Have fun. Tell Hanbin I said hello.”
“Love you.”
“Love you too. Bye.”
He hung up, and Hanbin’s jaw dropped farther. “He just…doesn’t care? Like at all?”
You gave him an inquisitive look, as if you didn’t understand what he was implying. “Is he supposed to?"
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thank you for reading !
tags: @happysmileybee
2K notes · View notes
hariboz · 6 days
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“forget? you?” — shb x gen!reader
a little something i wrote to get back into my writing flow!
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ex!hanbin has been plaguing my mind for a while now. the type to make the heart wrenching decision to break up with you to follow his dreams in hopes of finding what he wanted in the spotlight, ready to sacrifice the comfort of your embrace to chase what he has been dreaming of for years.
“thank you for always being by my side, but i don’t know if i can be happy if i don’t try one last time. i don’t want to break your heart, angel, but will you let me go?”
and you did. of course you did, how could you not? you could always see the sparkle in his eyes when he showed you a new choreography he made, the longing in his gaze when watching others dance on the same stages he could only dream of being on. you knew he was happy with you, you knew he loved you. he was happy, loved and comfortable, yet unfulfilled. because while you would give him every single star in the night sky if you could, no amount of your love would sustain his desire to become the shiniest star of them all himself.
so you let him go, gave him your blessing and told him to better make it to the top so your love was not given up in vain.
you had never seen hanbin cry so much before.
“i promise, angel. i’ll carry you with me in my heart.”
and truth be told, ex!hanbin held his promise. he made it. a leader, a highly sought after visual, a mc, a vocalist.
he’s not your binnie anymore. he’s not the one waking up an hour before your alarm to make you breakfast anymore. he’s not picking you up from work with that sweet smile and a smoothie in his hand. he doesn’t try to teach you his choreos anymore. he doesn’t giggle at you while fixing your hair anymore.
on days where it’s especially hard you catch yourself wishing you had refused, had kept him close to you. had begged him to stay back, to not sacrifice all the serene happiness you shared; but then you snap back to reality, the realisation that these selfish thoughts keep crawling their way up making you feel guilty.
it’s a sick twist of fate, you think, when you happen to walk past a wall of support ads for him plastered along your way. you don’t know whether to laugh or cry; whether you should be elated he is receiving an amount of love you could never have given him or whether you should be hurt and bitter that all this meant more to him than you seemingly ever did.
it’s not fair to compare like that, you know that, but it’s not like he’s there to defend himself. he’s never there anymore.
in your inner frenzy, the internal fight between wanting to support the man you still love oh so deeply and the selfish wish to have kept him for yourself, you bump into someone, misty eyes barely focused enough to notice the person in front of you.
you look up briefly to apologise, wanting nothing more than to get away from this overstimulating throwback to your better times, only to realise that the devil — angel — himself is standing right there.
right there, in front of you. sung hanbin. your binnie.
you know it’s him immediately despite the mask he’s wearing. the all too familiar sparkle in his eyes and his pretty lashes that you know all too well blinking back at you in shock, his eyes desperately darting over your face in an attempt to drink in every little change and detail.
you’re just about to speak when he turns at the sound of his name, which is when you finally realise the crowd standing not too far away, observing him like hawks and pointing their phones at him.
right. he’s idol binnie now.
so you bow politely and leave, trying your best to manoeuvre through the crowd. your heart is beating in your ears, your thoughts all jumbled and confused. you haven’t seen him in so long. not in person, anyways, and now you’re running away? what else could you have done?
it’s like you’re on autopilot, not even noticing you’ve made your way back home until you’re stood in front of your apartment. it’s then when you’re about to unlock your door, planning to crawl into bed and never come back out, that your phone vibrates.
first once, then twice.
“i don’t know if you want to talk to me anymore, but i was happy to see you today. even if it was really short.”
“i miss you.”
“you didn’t forget?”
“forget? you?”
“i could never. i love you.”
”did you ever think about dating an idol?”
ex!hanbin who, i think, would give it all up to follow his dream only to realise every single version of his future had you in it. and now he’s here, trying to win you back, hoping it’s not too late. because ex!hanbin is not only a romantic, but also in love. deeply, unabashedly in love.
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ivrousae · 9 months
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📲 DING! You just got a text from - ZEROBASEONE. (OT9)
☆ Asking your boyfriend for a hug
Warnings : kinda angst(?) mentions of food on jiwoong and yujin’s
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solarwoniii · 10 months
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surprise ! sung hanbin
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fem ! sub ! reader x boyfriend ! dom ! hanbin happy (extremely late) hanbin day !
synopsis ; hanbin comes home to your birthday surprise for him.
genre ; smut, fluff, . . . FILTH . . .
wc ; 2.4k
contains ; oh god ok sooooo, lingerie, thigh riding, orgasm denial, creampie, fingering, penetration, tummy bulge, pet names, heavy praise kink, degradation/slut shaming reader calls hanbin 'binnie,' dacryphilia, food play (hanbin eats cake off of reader's body), drunken sex, a tinyyy bit of hanbin manhandling reader, squirting, slight size kink, slight pain kink, lmk if i missed any !
a soft sigh pushed past hanbin's lips as he closed the front door behind him and leaned against the hardwood, staring at the ceiling in relief.
it'd been a long day, he had almost forgotten that today was in fact his birthday. he'd missed you like crazy, wanting nothing less than to come home and escape from all his problems in your warmth.
he hoped that he hadn't kept you awake too long. you'd been messaging him all night about a birthday surprise you were setting up for him. it was extremely well past midnight now and he was definitely extremely late for this.
he decided he would get you to bed for now and the two of you could spend time together in the morning. he didn't want to keep you up any longer than he already had.
hanbin slipped his jacket off, hanging it up and turning on the hallway light. he walked down the kitchen, smiling instantly when he found you, sat down, head laid on the table, eyes closed, soft snores escaping your slightly parted lips. the table had been set up with candles, cake and a bottle of champagne.
he sat himself down beside you, tucking your hair behind your ear to kiss your cheek. you quickly startled yourself back awake, sitting up straight and looking at him with wide eyes. it didn't take him long to realise you were wearing his favourite lingerie set.
"surprise!" you said quickly, "happy birthday."
he laughed, leaning over to cup the side of your face, lips meeting yours in a gentle kiss.
"thank you baby." he grinned, thumb caressing your cheek, "i'm sorry i'm so late. i tried getting home as early as i could."
"it's okay." you smiled at him, "let's have cake."
he tilted his head to the side and furrowed his eyebrows, "don't you wanna go to bed?"
"b-but i wanted to do all of this stuff with you! i even brought the stupid uno cards out."
hanbin paused as he thought for a moment before he smiled, taking your hand and kissing your fingertips.
"alright." he whispered, running his thumb over your knuckles and watching as you reached over for the lighter, clicking it open and lighting each of the candles for him.
a small chuckle escaped him as you quietly sang the 'happy birthday' song to him, clapping your hands along to the beat until it ended.
"make a wish!" you smiled with jazz hands. hanbin nods and lowers head with a grin, making his wish before blowing out all of the candles.
as the two of you ate cake together you talked about whatever came to mind, hanbin rested his head against your shoulder.
"you look so pretty tonight, baby." he smiled, pressing a gentle kiss onto your jaw. you giggle shyly, reaching over to run your fingers through his hair, pecking his temple.
he looked up at you, cupping the side of your face, bringing himself to kiss you, laughing at the way you got so easily flustered.
"i love you."
"mm, i love you too."
he drew himself close to kiss you again, confused when you pulled away halfway.
"you okay?" he asked concerningly, looking at you worriedly.
"it's your birthday," you whined, "i should do the work for once."
hanbin smiled, tilting his head to the side, "you want to fuck me?"
"yes! what's your problem?" you grumbled, "i can be dominant."
"mmm, really?" his voice low and cocky as he brought you close to him, fluttering gentle kisses down your jaw.
"m-hmm!" your voice shaky as his lips latched onto the skin of your collarbone, sucking a soft, reddening mark onto you.
"i find that a little hard to believe, baby." he whispered, looking back up to peck the tip of your nose, free hand snaking down between your thighs to get a feel of you over the fabric of your lingerie, "you're already all wet, my little baby can barely even handle a little kissing. how would you possibly dominate me?"
you bit down on your bottom lip as hanbin's middle finger circled your clothed clit. hanbin chuckled at you, kissing your forehead.
"you're so cute," he smiled, "come on, do you want a drink?"
"yes please." your eyelids heavy as you leaned into his chest, his hands finding your waist as he pulled you into his lap.
he brought the champagne bottle close, screwing the lid open, pouring a small amount into each glass to start the two of you off for the night. and with the click of your wineglasses, the two of you drank together into the late hours of the midnight.
it wasn't long before the entire bottle was almost finished, the two of you sat together drunken in lust. his eyes wandering your body biting his bottom lip as he held your waist, lifting you slightly so you were now kneeling over his lap. a small smirk came to his lips as he pressed and sucked gentle kisses and marks onto your exposed stomach and waist.
hanbin put his glass down to cup your face, kissing you tenderly. you whimpered against his lips as his fingers found your silk panties, pushing them over to the side as he guided his fingers to your clit. he rubbed the pad of his thumb over your sensitive nub, chuckling as you jolted at each of his movements.
his middle finger pushed itself into your hole, hanbin smiling as the singular digit was met with some resistance. a small whine left you as you buried your head in his shoulder, gripping onto the sleeve of his work blazer as he continued his ministration.
"does that feel good, baby?"
"m-mmhm."
hanbin smirked, looking over to the slices of cake on the table that had been left abandoned, due to the lustrous build-up between the two of you. without a word, he took his hand away from your core, making you look down in both confusion and disappointment.
"wh-what?"
"shh," he hushed you, taking his essence-covered digit to messily take some of the cake, wiping it across your exposed hip and sucking the excess off of his finger. his smirk only grew fonder as he licked and sucked the cake off of you, the taste of sweet frosting and your juices making him groan against your flesh.
his mouth latched off of your skin, watching as the mark he'd made began to pinken before his eyes. that would definitely remain there for the next few days, which you would usually complain about because of the size of it in such a big area. but it was his birthday, and he and you both knew damn well that you weren't allowed to complain today.
you shuddered as he continued to kiss his way up your sides, holding onto your breasts, thumbs running over your pebbled nipples through the silky fabric of your lingerie.
he pecked gentle kisses around your chest, hands moving to your back to loosen the ribbons which kept the top of the set intact. he untied the knot carefully, assisting you in slipping it off. he began to hickey the skin around your nipples, putting his hands on your hips and pulling you down against his thigh. you whimpered at the rough, slightly gritty feeling of his slack pants against your clit.
"come on, sweetheart." he said softly, "you said you wanted to do some work, right? i want you to ride my thigh."
"h..-hanbinnie," you choked out, moving your hips on his command, the need for him growing increasingly more and more as he now sucks on your nipples.
"that's it, good girl." he smiled at how compliant you always are, "how does that feel, hm?"
"s-so good." you said shakily, biting your bottom lip as tears begun to come to your eyes. he cooed at you, kissing your cheeks and wiping the droplets away with his thumbs.
"don't cry baby~," he smiled, "you're doing such a great job, you know that? my pretty girl always does so well for me."
"binnie, s-s' much."
"i know baby, you getting close?"
you nodded your head, gasping as he suddenly put his hands on your waist, fully putting your ministration to a stop before your climax could approach any faster. more tears danced down your cheeks at the sudden pause.
"wh-why did you . . ?" you choked. hanbin only chuckled at your helplessness, kissing your forehead in mock pity.
"i'm sorry baby. but wouldn't you rather cum on my cock?"
"but i was so close, and-and-" he was quick to hush you with gentle kisses all over your face, bringing you close as he reached his arm out to move some things out of the way to create tablespace, before carrying you and carefully laying you on the dining table, hand on the back of your head as he kissed you into another universe.
"you think you're ready for me sweetheart?" he smiled teasingly at you, as he held onto your waist, pulling your body against his bulging erection, making a whine leave you, throwing your head back with a shudder.
you eagerly nodded your head at the offer, feeling your mouth water as you watched him unbutton his slacks, pulling out his cock. you bit your bottom lip as his bulbous head circled your entrance.
"you think it'll fit, baby? should i prep you a little first?" he asked mockingly, tilting his head to the said as if he were truly serious. he held back his laugh, wanting to see how you would react as you almost immediately believed his satirical remark.
"no! p-please no, i can take it, i swear!" you said quickly.
hanbin chuckled, taking your hand and pecking your knuckles. you were just so cute and pathetic when you were needy.
"i was only messing with you, baby." he said softly, "you wanna take me like this?" he asked again, wanting to ensure that you wanted this, thumb now running over your fingers. you nodded, looking up at him with soft doe eyes. he continued to hold your hand, using his free one to rest on top of your thigh, caressing your skin as he carefully pushed his tip into you, groaning at how tight you were around him.
"fuck, baby. you're doing so well for me."
your breath got caught in your throat as you reached out your grabby hands to hold onto his blazer collar, scrunching up the fabric in your tight fist as you closed your eyes and blinked back tears of both pain and pleasure. a soft, breathy giggle escaped hanbin as he squeezed tight onto the hand of yours he was holding, bringing it the your other hand and rubbing the both of them.
"if you're having so much trouble fitting me in, you shouldn't clench so much, sweetheart."
"i c-can't help it!" you whined back, as he finally filled you to the hilt. you let out a small sigh of relief as he kissed your forehead and laughed.
"there. look so pretty all full of me." he whispered, looking down at the bulge forming in your lower stomach from the sheer size of his length, "do you need a moment to adjust?"
"mm, no. i can take it."
he smiled, "you sure? you look like you're having trouble."
"n-no..." you argue weakly back, although you knew you wouldn't have any trouble with a little pain. hanbin smirked as he quickly realised it himself.
"my baby likes it rough, hm?"
you quickly closed your eyes in embarrassment, trying to free your hands from his to cover your face from him, but to no avail, as his grip was too strong for you. a broken moan left you has he pulled and pushed himself out of you, tip slamming harshly against your hilt, in such a way that made your eyes roll back, "b-binnie . . !"
"feels good?"
you nodded, gulping and closing your eyes as he continued to fuck himself into you.
"come on baby, eyes open for me." he smiled.
"p-please, more-"
"only because you asked so nicely."
you almost screamed as he began to slam in and out of you at the pace of a ravenous beast, crying and shaking at the surge of pleasure you were feeling in the sudden symphonic pace.
"yeah, you like this?"
"y-yes! f-feels so goo-d, cock feels s-so good!" you babbled through your tears, mind racing blank as you just spoke, unknowing of the words that were leaving you. hanbin groaned at the sight of your pretty little tummy bulge, disappearing and reappearing with each unearthly thrust.
"god, fuck i'm getting close baby." he grunted, "gonna fill this pretty little pussy with all of my cum, yeah?"
the words he was saying to you only went through one ear and out the other as you began to feel the overstimulation crash over you, thighs trembling as they struggled to keep in place.
he grinned, "poor baby, all fucked out. can't take it all, can you?"
"i'm g-gonna-" your eyes flowing with tears as your sentence was cut off by your sudden orgasm, gushing around his cock as he continued his linguid thrusts.
"sh-shit baby, you squirted." he groaned, stilling himself as he released straight after you, filling you with his warm, pearlescent release, long, heavy sighs leaving both you and him as he leaned into your body, burying his head in your shoulder, kissing you wherever he could reach.
"god. you did such a good job, sweetheart."
he looked up at your tear-stained cheeks and heavy-lidded eyes, cupping your cheeks to deliver gentle kisses and pecks to your lips.
he pulled himself out carefully with a groan, watching as his cum began to almost immediately spill out of your hole.
"alright, let's get you cleaned up, yeah?" he said with smile, pecking your temple, sliding his arms beneath your body to be able to carry your upstairs and into the bathroom.
as he sat you down on the counter to get the bathtub running, your drowsy, worn out voice caught his attention.
"hanbinnie . . ?" you called his name. he smiled and looked back at you.
"yes baby?"
you reached your arms out for him, making grabbing motions with your hands with a small, sleepy pout. he let out a small laugh and came closer to you, putting his arms around you in a warm hug.
"i love you. happy birthday."
"you're so cute, baby." he giggled, "i love you too. thank you for doing this for me, i appreciate you so much."
a/n ; WROTE THAT LAST BIT AT 2 AM PLS EXCUSE HOW RUSHED IT IS . . . ALSO THIS IS NOT PRROFREAD I AM SORRY FOR REPEATING THE SAME WORDS LIKE 1000 TIMES IM SO TIRED IM SORRY HOPE U ENJOYED READING !!
my perm taglist ; @hunbun07 @metalchick529 @chewryy
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angelmatthew · 5 months
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₊˚.༄ ginger tea - sung hanbin
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this is very self indulgent because i was sick last week too :(( i can never keep sickfics short and sweet because i'm a sucker for whump, this is very soft whump though ! my writing's still a bit rusty but it's getting better (i hope). also, i'm still not sure about the layout for my posts so i'm trying out different things, i'll stick to one layout eventually!
🖇️request
↬hanbin x gn!reader ↬2054 words ↬fluff, soft angst, one shot ↬tw: mentions of vomit, a little bit whumpy, not proofread
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your muscles were aching, your head pounding like a bass drum and you could barely breathe with your stuffy nose. you had to be in class in an hour but getting out of bed was a daunting mission.
you rolled over, clinging to the warmth of your bed, hoping a few more minutes might work a magic fix. and, before you knew it, you were out like a light.
you’re woken up two hours later by the sound of your phone ringing.
"hey, where are you sweetheart?" you picked up the phone without even checking the caller. once you recognize the familiar voice, you immediately snap into a sitting position, rubbing the sleep from your eyes.
"oh my god, bin, i’m so sorry i overslept," you confess. you hear background chatter and figure hanbin is already at the coffee shop for your study date. he promised to help you with your finals, despite his busy schedule.
hanbin's voice carries genuine concern. "it’s okay, your voice sounds tired, are you feeling alright?"
“i’m okay," you hesitantly admit, "just feeling a bit under the weather. i'm so sorry for making you wait."
you downplay your ailment, though you can never fully deceive hanbin; his perceptive nature sees through your attempt to minimize the situation. the guilt starts settles in.
"It’s alright, i'm coming over," he reassures you with his signature comforting tone. there's not a single trace of annoyance in his voice, even though he's been patiently waiting for you for the past thirty minutes.
"no! it's okay. I know you're busy, and you made time for me to help with studying, and—" you start to babble, but hanbin interrupts with a soft chuckle.
"my schedule's never too packed for you. plus, it gives me an excuse to escape practice." he speaks in that sing-songy voice you adore, prompting a genuine smile from you.
"well, in that case, i'm glad i could rescue you from the clutches of boredom."
he laughs, "exactly. I’m bringing some medication, tea and cuddles."
true to his word, a few minutes later, there's a gentle knock on your door. you’re greeted with a bear hug and whisker dimples.
“how are you feeling beautiful ?” you can't help but grimace at the pet name, your hair's a mess, you’re pretty sure there’s a toothpaste stain on your sweatshirt, and the fever's turned you into a bit of a sweat machine.
"i look awful," you grumble, stealing a quick glance at your reflection in the small corridor mirror. hanbin's eyebrows furrow, he's quick to interrupt your self-critique.
"you always look beautiful to me," he adds, a reassuring smile accompanying his words. he then, presses his palm against your forehead, seamlessly slipping into concerned-mom-mode. his eyes pop wide, and his lips pull a total 'o' move – the classic hanbin surprise face.
"you're burning up!" he exclaims, guiding you to the couch with a gentle urgency, concerned that standing might tire you out even more. your dizziness was palpable; even reaching the front door felt like a monumental effort.
"did you eat something since this morning?" hanbin questions while putting the grocery bags on the kitchen island, his focus shifting to the small pharmacy bag.
"no, i felt too nauseous," you admit, your voice laced with a hint of shame.
he pauses, worry etched across his features, but he swiftly transforms it into a warm beam, the last thing he wants is to make you feel bad. "no worries, love. let's get you cozy first,"
he disappears into your room, returning with a fluffy blanket and a pile of cushions. he arranges the cushions, making sure they cradle you just right. the blanket, soft and inviting, is draped over you, and he tucks its edges gently, creating a cozy nest.
you can't help but admire his simple yet caring gestures. there's a warmth in his eyes, a quiet assurance that makes you feel secure.
"better?" he asks, his eyes searching yours for any sign of discomfort.
“yes, thanks bin, you're an angel” you grab his hand, trying to convey your appreciation as best as you can — can’t risk a kiss in your current state. hanbin takes your hand in his, and kisses each of your knuckles softly, you feel like your heart might explode. in moments like these, you wonder how you got this lucky.
“no need to thank me, now, you need to take your medication…" he makes his way to the kitchen and rummages through the grocery bags, revealing an array of medicine.
he hands you a cup of water along with a few pills and another cup filled with a suspiciously white liquid. "i know it looks like a lot, but the pharmacist promised it should work wonders,"
you nod reluctantly, eyeing the medicine-filled cup. you take a sip of the chalky liquid, the taste makes your face scrunch up in immediate disgust.
"ugh, it's gross," you whine, hanbin chuckles at your distaste.
"you did it! now, the water to wash away the icky aftertaste," he hands you the water with an encouraging smile. "bottoms up!”
you manage a small grin, appreciating his encouragement, and with a final gulp, you conquer the medicine ordeal.
"now, about the nausea, how about a little snack, you can’t take more medicine on an empty stomach" hanbin suggests, you manage a weak nod, grateful for his attention. as he heads back to the kitchen, you can't shake the lingering discomfort; the idea of ingesting any food makes you feel even more nauseous but you don’t want to discourage your boyfriend.
he returns with a plate of crackers and slices of apple, “you don’t have to finish it all,” he hands you the fork with an encouraging nod then turns on the TV and puts on your comfort show, in the hopes that having distraction will make it easier for your stomach to handle the meal.
hanbin watches you eat with a mix of hope and concern, his eyes searching for signs of improvement. after a few bites, your stomach rumbles, and you reluctantly set down your fork. he doesn't want to force you to eat but on the other hand that the lack of nutrition might make you feel worse.
"just one more bite, okay?" hanbin insists, his voice soft. instead of waiting for your response, he picks up a piece of apple and brings it to your lips, offering it with a reassuring smile. "small bites. we'll take it slow."
you take a deep breath before taking another miniscule bite, but as hanbin's hopeful gaze meets yours, the nausea suddenly intensifies. without warning, you get up abruptly, rushing to the bathroom as your stomach rebels. your boyfriend follows, concern etched on his face. you wish he didn’t but he holds your hair gently as you vomit, the sound echoing in the small space.
“i'm so sorry," each retch is accompanied by a twinge of shame, intensified by the fact that fever has left you a bit delirious. you can't help but shed a few tears. yet, through it all, hanbin remains unwaveringly calm and gentle, rubbing your back soothingly.
"shh, it's okay” he repeats, his voice a steady anchor in the storm. he stays by your side, offering comfort as you navigate through this less-than-pleasant moment. as you finish, he helps you rinse your mouth, his touch gentle against the fatigue and fever.
guiding you back to the living room, he reassures, "take your time," and tucks you under the blanket. "if you're not up for eating, we can try again later."
you stare at his expression, he looks even more concerned than before, and you're not sure why but an odd inclination to cry takes hold. maybe it's because hanbin is right here, taking care of you, even handling the less glamorous parts without seeming annoyed or bothered in the slighest. your thoughts became a muddled blend of exhaustion, an overwhelming swell of gratitude, and an uneasy undercurrent of guilt,
as you struggled to fend off the fever-induced haze in your mind, you hadn't noticed hanbin quietly settling beside you, extending a glass of water. "small sips,"
you accept the glass, your body still tense from the earlier ordeal. "i'm sorry," you repeat while trying to supress the sob that threatens to escape your lips.
"hey, don't be sorry," he says, wiping away a tear with a tenderness that melts the tension, his thumb gently caressing your cheek. "i'm the one who made you eat when you didn't feel like it. we'll take it one step at a time, okay?" his soothing voice intensifies your emotions, and you find yourself shedding a few more tears, feeling extra awful with your scratchy throat and stuffy nose.
being the empath that he is, hanbin seems on the brink of tears himself, but he doesn't succumb. instead, he gently rubs your back and strokes your hair, humming your favorite songs in an attempt to help you calm down.
"think you need some sleep," he whispers after a few minutes. you nod weakly, and he helps you shift into a more comfortable position, fluffing the pillows and adjusting the blankets.
"anything hurting?" he asks while tucking you in, his fingers gently ensuring the edges of the blankets cocoon you snugly.
"my whole body is aching," you murmur, the exhaustion evident in your voice. moments later, hanbin returns from the kitched with warm heat packs, their comforting weight carefully arranged on your body. as he tends to you, the furrow on his brow and his careful, deliberate movements betray the emotional toll it takes on him to witness you in discomfort. he refrains from asking more questions, not wanting to exhaust you or burden you; he still feels a bit guilty from the ealier nausea ordeal.
before he even gets the chance to check on you again, you've already drifted off to sleep. when you slowly open your eyes two hours later, hanbin is still hovering over you, changing the wet cloth on your forehead with a fresh, cool one.
"hey sleepyhead, feeling better?" he asks, gently stroking your cheek. you nod slowly, his cool hand soothing your warm face.
now that your mind is clearer and the fever has gone down, you feel the shame settle in — you've never been this vulnerable in front of hanbin, you know he doesn't mind taking care of you but you feel sorry nonetheless.
"thank you again, for taking care of me, i was a complete mess earlier," you shyly blurt out.
"it's what i'm here for my love," in response, he graces you with that infectious smile, reminiscent of fluffy clouds and blooming spring flowers.
hanbin leaves your side momentarily but returns with a steaming mug of ginger tea, its comforting aroma filling the room.
"here, this might help you feel even better," he says, handing you the mug. the warmth of the tea and his comforting presence start to chase away the stiffness in your body.
hanbin settles down beside you, wrapping his arms around you in a gentle embrace.
"You know," he starts with a mischievous glint in his eye, "you owe me. i've been exposed to your germs," you chuckle and hanbin's relieved to see you laugh.
"i don't mind as long as I get to cuddle you like this," you say, sinking deeper into the embrace.
"even when I'm all sweaty?"
"you did it for me, i don't see why i wouldn't do it for you," you say, your tone light but filled with genuine affection.
hanbin seems a bit taken aback by your response. even though he spends his time taking care of the people around him, accepting the same level of care from others has always been a bit challenging for him. it's as if he fears it might compromise his dependable attitude. however, ever since you started dating, he's been gradually getting used to the idea and the same goes for you — taking care of each other even in the messiest moments felt more natural.
"you've got yourself a deal. just promise you won't judge the sweaty, sickly version of me too harshly."
you playfully roll your eyes, "bring it on, i'm ready for it warts and all,"
with a smirk, he leans in, planting a gentle kiss on your forehead. "i'll hold you to that."
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haesunflower · 4 months
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soulmates unfortunately series [the prologue]
⋆⋆ ˚。⋆⋆ ˚。⋆⋆ ˚。⋆⋆ ˚。⋆⋆ ˚。⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚。⋆⋆ ˚。⋆⋆ ˚。⋆⋆ ˚。⋆⋆ ˚。⋆⋆
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genre: romance/fluff with adult themes pairings: reader x park gunwook, reader x kim taerae, reader x seok matthew, reader x shen ricky. word count: 3.2k warnings: drinking, character death, nsfw mention (no actual smut), underage puppy love, and other adult themes. rating is 16+.
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ABOUT. here's the thing about soulmates, once you meet the one that is meant for you, you start to age. the biological clock starts to tick, and you are no longer a fresh faced 20 year old. years go by, and next thing you know it, you've grown old and wrinkly – right next to the love of your life. y/n hated this concept.
y/n has had many soulmates in her lifetime. chapter zero explores the soulmates that came before she stopped believing in the concept entirely.
⋆୨♡୧ series masterlist/about the series. ⋆୨♡୧
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You used to believe in the concept of soulmates. 
It could be a beautiful thing, really. In theory, you build your entire future with this person, remaining young until you meet the one that is meant for you. In this world, your biological clock remains frozen – physical and mental aging included.
Life doesn’t start unless you have your other half along with you. Your soulmate. 
Growing up, you hear and experience multiple love stories around you. You are taught to look forward to this life changing moment, watching out for the tell-tale signs of your other half. Your chest tightens around them, pulling you closer, drawing you in. Others say it’s as if the universe is physically trying to draw you closer together. But you liken it more to a ‘gut feeling’; There’s no other way to describe it, you just know. 
That’s how you felt about Park Gunwook – the first boy you ever came to love. The first soulmate. 
PARK GUNWOOK. TWELVE YEARS OLD. YEAR 1920.
Gunwook lived in the same farm town as you, and everyone knew him. 
He was the favorite son in his family. He wasn’t the eldest – but he was reliable even from a very young age. He ran errands for the neighbors often and was kind to all the children and elderly. If anyone needed some help with carrying hay bale, starting a fire, or cleaning out the barn, Park Gunwook was the go-to, in which he happily carried out his duties with a large smile on his face. 
You first met on a sunny day when you had trouble with your farmwork chores. You were struggling to wrangle the pigs back to their pen, tripping over the mud, and eventually falling into a large puddle. 
He must have been watching over from a far, as the next thing you know an, arm is outstretched to you. “Need some help, Y/N?” 
You look up to see Gunwook, and you take his hand so he can hoist you up from the mud puddle.
“You know my name?” you ask innocently. Gunwook was fifteen at the time, and you, only twelve. 
“Silly girl, of course I know you.” he says as he fixes the bangs on your forehead, temporarily disheveled by the fall. At that moment, you felt it. The undeniable tug at your chest, drawing you to him. You had a feeling he was your soulmate, and your cheeks warmed at the thought.
You reckon he felt the same. For as the years went by, he stayed as a close friend to you. 
When you reached fifteen years old, marrying age, he started to see you more often. 
He would ask you to join him as he saddled up the horses by the stable, and you’d ask him to accompany you as you picked flowers by the meadow. You often talked about your dreams of seeing the world, leaving this small town and meeting new people. You dreamt of seeing all sorts of buildings, appreciating all kinds of art, trying new food, and experiencing new music. He always listened to you in awe, smiling at how passionate you become when talking about your dreams. He knows it’s your favorite thing to talk about.  
Gunwook on the other hand, spoke about inheriting the farm land from his father. He excitedly spoke about starting a little bed and breakfast inn where he could increase tourism in the area, allowing other folk to come experience the beauty of farm life. He once showed you the blueprint sketches he had of his proposed business venture, and with a gummy smile on his face, pointed to a house right by the meadow where your favorite flowers resided, “and here’s where we would live” he said. his cheeks were flushed red, nervous to see your reaction.
It was beautiful. He had promised to build it for you, confirming that he too, felt the same about you. That the both of you were meant to be together. 
“I know you’ve always wanted to get out of here. So I’ll save up for it, and we can both go on a large adventure someday” he reassures you. 
But you pictured the little farmhouse by the meadow where the two of you would live, running the bed and breakfast, and caring for the horses, pigs, and sheep. You suddenly didn’t mind having this quaint little life at all. 
“It’s perfect, Gunwook. I love it.” You reassured him too. 
Sadly, these were the last words you shared with him. The wedding never happened, the house was never built, and you were unable to experience being loved by Gunwook like you were meant to. 
Gunwook died the next morning, at the age of 18 years old. He was helping out the local lumberjack with a project in the forest, and fell victim to a horrible accident. The townspeople and your family spared you of the gory details, so you never got the full story of how he passed away. 
All you remember from that day was waking up and immediately feeling an emptiness in your heart. The tug at your chest was gone, a confirmation that he was dead. You cried. 
You wondered if the universe was giving you a sign, an out from the farm town life that you dreamed of leaving. And you couldn’t help but think: what a sick, twisted, way to communicate, universe.
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You tried to continue living life as you once knew it. But everything in this small town reminded you of Gunwook. You’d often visit the meadow where your forever house with him was meant to stand, journalling or speaking to the wind – hoping Gunwook would hear you. 
Your family let you grieve for two whole years, allowing the pain to fully wash over you so that you can learn to move on. Gunwook was your soulmate, everyone knew that. And at that time, the concept of having more than one soulmate was unheard of. You had already lost yours, and there was no way the universe would have another one for you. 
You weren’t exactly a widow, so you would have to live life as an unmarried woman – which was difficult in that day and age. This is why your father and mother brought up the prospect of arranged marriage, even if it’s just for the sake of living comfortably. You agreed. 
KIM TAERAE. SEVENTEEN YEARS OLD. YEAR 1925.
You came to know Kim Taerae at seventeen years old, when your father was sorting out marriage candidates. He had visited a local psychic who had given a shortlist of all the eligible bachelors in the area who would be the perfect match for you – insisting that ‘your soulmate would be one of the names on the list’. 
You would have called her a quack if the list didn’t include a certain Kim Taerae, a young gentleman three years older, who had a voice of an angel. You officially met at a chaperoned luncheon, with both your parents and his. He was soft, kind hearted, and had a gentle nature to him. 
You met several times after that before your families settled the marriage agreements. You didn’t mind marrying Taerae, in fact, you were scared to admit that he might actually be your soulmate too after all. You felt it during your first few meetings without your parents, the familiar pull at your chest. Eventually soothed by his singing and soft hums he would whisper into your hair. 
“Do you think we could be soulmates, Y/N?” he asked you one evening, you were both sitting on the porch of your family home with the stars as your audience. While he strongly believed you were his soulmate, you had a hard time. You weren’t sure if the universe allowed such a thing. 
“I don’t know, Taerae. I wonder if the universe is kind enough to gift you as my soulmate” you truly meant your words. He knew about your trauma with losing Gunwook, and would often accompany you as you visited his grave. He’s been patient with you, and was content with spending the rest of his life loving you, even if you weren’t soulmates. You felt the same way. 
That year, Taerae turned 21 years old. He was a year older, no longer frozen at 20. Likewise, you turned 18 years old. He got his blood tested to ensure the aging wasn’t a placebo effect, that there was indeed biological change. 
Everyone celebrated Taerae’s aging, the confirmation that the both of you were truly soulmates. You couldn’t believe it at first, but considered it as the universe’s way of saying ‘sorry’ for the loss of your first one. 
Taerae was excited to build a future with you. He even bought a house for the two of you at the capital of the country, and you were both eager to experience city life as a married couple. But that day never came. He died from a tragic car accident, a drunk driver crashed into his vehicle when he was on his way to see you. 
You woke up that day feeling like you were stuck in a recurring nighmare. You were drenched in sweat, and let out the most gut-wrenching scream of grief. You despised how this was all too familiar to you, the loss of the comforting tug at your chest. Taerae was dead, and you wailed for him.  
The car company gave you a free vehicle as part of the grievance. As if a free car would cure the immense grief and anger you had been feeling. To make matters worse, the community mocked you with a new nickname: soulmate killer. Because the mere idea of being your soulmate was an automatic death sentence. 
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You hated the universe. You were angry at its seeming generosity, rather cruelty of losing two soulmates at only 18 years old. 
After Taerae died, your family felt anguish for you. They had immense sympathy, and let you do whatever you wanted to do. You spent another two years grieving Taerae. Though you mostly stayed at home, staring into empty space. You still visited the meadow, this time with a guitar in hand to strum familiar melodies as you thought about the two men you loved. You felt that it was only fair to Taerae that way – if you had grieved him the same way you grieved Gunwook. 
It took you years before you could even feel like yourself again. 
In 1930, you would have been 23 years old. But you still look, act, and feel like a 20 year old. As if the universe was mocking your unfortunate situation. As if aging was a reward and a privilege you receive after meeting the love of your life. As if the universe was blissfully unaware that you have been ripped away from the opportunity thanks to its cruelty. 
You revisited your journal entries from when you were fifteen, talking about your big dream of seeing the world. You felt cursed, and you were determined to make the most of the seemingly short life you would have. After all, if your soulmates kept dying on you – who is to say that you aren’t next? 
So you took your free car, and set off on a road trip. And that’s when you met Seok Matthew, a man who sadly, understood you a little too well. 
SEOK MATTHEW. TWENTY YEARS OLD. 1930.
Matthew’s soulmate also died in a car accident earlier that year. His chosen method of grieving was to travel the world – discovering new places and meeting all sorts of people. That’s how the two of you met, line dancing somewhere in the south america. 
Matthew wasn’t your soulmate, you knew that for sure. But you spent the next five years traveling the world together, making love in cities he took you, and living life as reckless twenty somethings. With him, you were finally able to live out your dream. 
As you lay naked in the arms of Matthew in a hotel somewhere in Paris, he asked you “what if one day, one of us meets our soulmate?”. You adjust yourself to see him more clearly, fingers softly running through his hair. The thought has crossed your mind before, more for Matthew’s sake than your own. 
“It’s been five years Matt, I highly doubt I’m going to meet anyone else. But you might.” you try to foster a small smile, reassuring him he could still have a chance. Matthew has only lost one soulmate, while you’ve lost two. 
“No, I’d never leave you.” He sits up, a large pout on his face. His stubbornness amuses you. 
“That’s what you say now, sweetie.” you laugh as you kiss his pout away. "and you know it's probably for the best, people in my hometown call me soulmate killer, you know?" you try to play it off as a joke.
"soulmate killer? that's cruel. it's not your fault y/n. you know that right?" Matthew's brows are furrowed. You smile as you hold his face, releasing the tension in his forehead by massaging his eyebrows with your thumbs.
That night, he promised to stay in your life no matter what. 
But this promise turned hazy when on one of your trips to South Asia, he met the actual love of his life. You didn’t protest when he came back to your dingy hotel, head down and in tears. You didn’t argue as you watched him pack his bags, for a trip that you weren’t going to be part of. And you didn’t push him away when he asked to kiss you one last time before he left. You let him go, and you sobbed out of loneliness. 
Kudos to Matthew, he did keep his promise. He sent letters every few months to your PO Box, but you didn’t have the heart to open all of it. Last you’ve heard, they had baby number one on the way – and that was your last straw. You changed PO Box addresses shortly after that, unbeknownst to Matthew, who still sent you letters every year until his eventual death. 
This was the first man in your life to have a happy ending. He died of old age, with 3 children and 10 grandchildren. 
Something changed in the five years you spent with Matthew. More than falling in love with a person who wasn’t your soulmate, you fell in love with the world. You could never, ever imagine yourself going back to the domesticated life at home. The years after Matthew turned you into a cynic, and you didn’t believe in love anymore either. 
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PRESENT DAY. 2023.
“Got anything that’ll get me drunk in the next ten minutes?” 
You plopped down on the bar stool, haphazardly placing your purse next to you. The bartender is eyeing you strangely, as if in disbelief that you’re even inside their establishment. 
You sigh and pull out your identification card, a laminated piece of junk that tells you how old you really are. Scratch that, how old you are meant to be. He picks up the card and raises it up next to your face, comparing the woman in the picture to your face. It reminds you that you need to get it renewed…again. After all, the last time you updated your photo was sometime in the 80s. True enough, your ID card reflects a version of you with big hair and large colorful earrings. You don’t blame him for wanting to double check, contrasting the all black ensemble you have currently. 
“Listen pal, I just buried my daughter today. I would appreciate it if you could get on with it”. You might not blame him, but you are impatient. 
He slides your ID card back and pours you a whiskey on the rocks. “Sorry for your loss ma’am” he solemnly extends his condolences as he places your drink in front of you. You pick it up, raising it and nodding a “thank you” before taking a large gulp. It burns. 
You outlived your daughter. And you wonder if you’ve been going about life in all the wrong ways. Atop the alcohol display at the bar is a small TV, flashing a report about a young woman named Somi who was murdered and found dead at her home – leaving her husband a widower. The news station flashed a photo of the blonde couple, sharing that they had just gotten married a week ago. She was beautiful. A shame. 
As the news report slowly drowns you, your mind confronts you with the memories of your past soulmates and lovers. 
PARK GUNWOOK. The soulmate you never got the chance to fully love, and died in the year 1923. 
KIM TAERAE. The soulmate who was your second chance at life, and passed away in 1928. 
SEOK MATTHEW. Who helped you live out your dreams from 1930 to 1935. 
KIM JIWOONG. A man you married in the year 1940, who died from alcohol poisioning that same year. 
ZHANG HAO. The one who gave you your daughter in 1952, but unfortunately fell victim to a house fire. 
SUNG HANBIN. The husband that raised your daughter like his very own. But experienced a very fatal heart attack on the day of your daughter’s wedding in 1973.
Of course, there were others – flings and boytoys along the way. None of which were worth reminiscing about, except maybe for Kim Gyuvin. 
At that moment, a tall man enters the bar and decides to take a seat next to you. His presence effectively drew you out from the thoughts circling your brain. Other than the fact that he too, is dressed in all black – you feel a deeper sense of similarity. Like kindred spirits, you recognize broken souls like yours. You order two more rounds of the whiskey the bartender gave you. 
“I heard about your late wife in the news, I’m sorry for your loss.” You feign sympathy and slide the glass to the man next to you. 
He looks taken aback at first, but accepts your offer. Now facing you, he raises his drink to you. You do the same. He’s strikingly handsome, with platinum hair and dark eyebrows. You also don’t miss that he’s dressed in Yves Saint Laurent from head to toe. He takes a peek at your ID card still laying on the table, making sure to catch your name. 
“Next one’s on me, Y/N” he says, taking another swig at his whiskey, finishing his glass. He calls on the bartender, and buys an entire bottle for the two of you. The bartender returns his credit card, with the name ‘Shen Quanrui’ engraved. 
“Thank you Quanrui, that’s very generous of you.” 
He puts on a small smile, almost no one calls him by his legal name. “You can call me Ricky” he says as he pours into your glass. 
“Alright Ricky. Here’s to life.” you raise up. It feels inappropriate to be clinking glasses on the day you buried your daughter, but you figured you could make an exemption. Ricky too, seemed to be going through the same thing with his late wife. 
“To life.” he responds, tapping his glass against yours. 
Just two broken souls who had lost someone important in their lives, drinking to fill the hollowness. You almost don’t feel the familiar bloom in your chest, tugging at your entire being like a magnet trying to find its other half. And if you do feel it, you pretend it’s the whiskey burning its place in your heart. 
RICKY SHEN. TWENTY YEARS OLD. 2023. The man who you assume to be your next soulmate. 
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bully⋆.ೃ࿔*:・
friday, kim taerae— select choir
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⋆˙⟡ zbully1 smut series masterlist! hanbin, jiwoong, hao, matthew, and taerae included. game day (group) chapter here. all 7 endings here.
⋆˙⟡ wc: 2.7k
⋆˙⟡ reader: just one gn!reader version for this (no pronouns are used at all to describe reader; reader is describe as having a "pretty" mouth but no gendered or femme language)
⋆˙⟡ series summary: five bullies. six days. it's gonna be a hell of a week, babe. stay hydrated.
⋆˙⟡ friday summary: it's the end of the most bizarre week of your life. last year, you would've been overjoyed to spend time in select choir with your friend kim taerae. but that all went down the drain after hanbin recruited him into his group of incessant jerks... and he's desperate to officially be one of the guys.
⋆˙⟡ warnings: explicit smut. 18+. minors do not interact. please read specific smut warnings under the cut! swearing. angst. slight dub-con. bullying. the lore for taerae is so SAD. i'll make sure his ending is happy, i promise. also we've got a ft. hanbin chapter but just in digital form.
⋆˙⟡ bully scale: ★★★★★ (5.0)
(idk the bully scale is subjective but like imagine your best friend saying this shit about you WHY IS HE DOING THAT OMG jk i know why and soon you will too)
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EXPLICIT SMUT 18+ WARNINGS: oral, (taerae receiving), throat fucking (reader receiving), brief handjob and heavy petting (taerae receiving), cumming without warning in mouth, filming of sexual act, voyeur!hanbin, slight dubcon but like for both of them kind of idk you'll see but it's slight, bullying, the usual.
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friday.
you should be elated that this week is nearly over. and you are. mostly, anyway. 
but there was an indescribable thrill to all this that you couldn’t seem to shake. all that talk of ravens yesterday had got you thinking...
 why did you dislike ravens in the first place?
thinking. crying. haphazardly finishing all of your assignments due friday that you’d procrastinated the whole week. urgent texts to and from mina after her ✨jiwoong oppa✨ stood her up for their date.
one thing was for certain: you desperately need sleep.
that’s why you’re currently falling asleep sitting up, hard-back music folder open in your hands as professor yoo works with the bass section. the lowest notes of “requiem” are soft and soothing and, for you at this sleep-deprived moment, very dangerous. 
luckily a sharp elbow to the shoulder jolts the drowsiness right out of you.
you look to your left to find kim taerae giving you one of the most judgmental glares you’ve ever earned in your life.
you would expect nothing less from him.
at one time a judgmental glare from taerae was the equivalent of a hug. you returned the gesture happily. and also threw in some hugs whenever he’d let you. he squirmed a bit, but the big smile that would grow on his face made it all worth it.
but there’s no warmth behind his eyes now. just a sharp elbow pointed at you, threatening to strike again if you didn’t shape up quick enough.
“you’re gonna get yourself in trouble,” he warns with a frown.
you roll your eyes. “why do you care?”
“because, unfortunately, some people still think we’re friends,” he says, making thin lines with his pencil on a page of his sheet music. “and i don’t want to suffer the social consequences of your embarrassing actions.”
“mm,” you agree wordlessly. “guess i should’ve thought of that myself.”
he doesn’t respond for a few moments, eyes focused on his sheet music until an audible sigh comes from his direction. “why are you so tired anyway? s’not like you.”
“for all you know, it could be,” you retort with a huff. “maybe i’m a real night owl now. maybe i’m out partying or smoking or... something.”
taerae snorts. “jiwoong hyung was not lying about those tragic acting skills.”
“oh, fuck off,” you reply.
his eyes widen. and then promptly squint with suspicion. “since when did you swear like that?”
you frown, trying to discern what he could mean. hadn’t you always been this uninhibited with your tongue? 
the answer was no. you hadn’t. and this new speech pattern of yours had a very specific origin: monday afternoon. you exhale a chuckle. maybe you had yet to realize the full extent of how this week has changed you.
and how your desire to change back continues to dwindle.
you just shrug, returning your focus to your music. you feel taerae’s eyes on you as you track your vocal section’s part in “requiem”.
you and taerae had purposefully chosen seats next to each other in choir last year so that you could goof off together during every possible free moment. it was also convenient for your parents, who always wanted to get pictures of you two together during concerts ever since high school.
now you wish you went to different universities altogether.
ironically, you might’ve had a better chance of remaining friends if you’d had distance. but you and taerae disagreed quite adamantly at the time.
halfway through your two-hour rehearsal, you’re allowed a fifteen minute break to grab water and stretch your legs. you always wander off down the empty storage hallway, where your favorite vending machine is hidden in plain sight— the one with the oreos and cheez-its and bugles in it. 
pulling out your debit card, you insert the chip into the machine and punch in the number for the snack of your choosing. you watch happily as it falls down from it’s spiral prison into the dispenser below. you start to bend down when a hand reaches in before you and grabs your snack.
“hey, what the—…” you trail off as you come face to face with a cavernous dimple. “give it back. now.”
“you’re so touchy today,” taerae condemns with a click of his tongue. he holds your snack high above his head, dangling it in a challenge. “seriously, what’s gotten into you this week?”
“oh, you know exactly what,” you huff, reaching for the snack in vain.
taerae laughs. “i guess a better question would be: what hasn’t gotten into you this week?”
“you’re so fucking funny,” you snap, fingers finally closing around the wrapper as you yank it down. 
taerae’s brow is raised in surprise, not really caring about the repossession of the snack. “seriously, i’m not used to you swearing like that. i’m not sure if i like it.”
“i assumed there was nothing you liked about me anymore,” you retort, tearing open your snack and shoveling the processed glory down your throat.
“that’s not true,” he replies, hand suddenly reaching to your face. he brushes his thumb across your bottom lip, a crumb transferring from you to him. he brings his thumb to his own lips and tastes it. “i still like your pretty mouth.”
when you finally manage to pick your jaw up off the ground, you shake your head. “i know you don’t think of me like that.”
“uh...” taerae mumbles awkwardly, glancing at the row of shelves behind you. “sure, i do.”
“oh yeah? how about mina’s pool party two years ago? when we—.”
“OH, actually you—,” he interjects urgently, glaring at you to shut up. normally you would. but after this week, you no longer feel bound to quiet compliance. “you don’t need to—.”
“—were playing spin the bottle and it landed on me and you threw up in the pool because you were so disgusted by the mere thought of kissing me—”
his lips crash onto yours, hand cupping your cheek. it’s a demanding, yet tentative kiss and you’re even more confused when it ends.
you take a step backward, folding your arms across your chest. 
“can you just—...” taerae grabs your arm and pulls you closer to him, glancing again at the row of shelves behind you. “yes, that’s perfect.”
“what’s perfect?” you ask with a frown, starting to grow immune to strange behavior after the week you’ve had.
“oh, um.... you,” taerae answers after a moment with a smirk. “you were always so perfect, (y/n). perfect grades. perfect manners. perfect body. i used to jump at the chance to sleep over when your mom would let me. you used to beg her until she finally said yes, because she knew you'd never misbehave. remember, honey?"
eyes wide at the dark shift in his tone, you nod slowly.
“you were so innocent... you slept shirtless, for fuck's sake. peacefully dreaming, while i pretended to be asleep on the floor,” he continues, brushing his thumb across your cheek. “hoping i wouldn't wake you up if i just lifted the covers to get a peek."
when you thought the worst of your pain this week was over…
“tae,” you breathe, eyes watering— pleading for this not to be true. it couldn’t be. at least... not in the vulgar way he was describing it. "you don't mean that."
at the sound of your despair, there's a momentary flash in his eyes. regret. you still know him like the back of your hand.
“why are you doing this?” you ask, hands flying to cup either side of his face. he flinches, trying his best not to look you in the eye again. trying not to let you see. “you don’t have to be my friend anymore if you really don’t want to. but i don’t know why you want to be like them when you’re miles better than they’ll ever—.”
“alright, that’s enough.”
the muffled, tinny voice comes out of nowhere. you look around your immediate surroundings, trying to discern where it came from.
“c’mon, you were doing so well,” the voice rings again. “you said you had this under control, bud. was i wrong to put my trust in you?”
“no, hyung,” taerae answers, shaking his head. “i—… i can do it.”
“hanbinnie?” you ask and then cough awkwardly to cover up the fact you just called your arch nemesis so affectionately. yesterday must’ve gotten to you more than you know. “i mean, hanbin-ah! what the actual hell is going on?”
“no need to worry about it, sweetheart,” hanbin’s voice dismisses again. taerae’s eyes dart towards the shelves behind you once more. you follow his gaze— jaw dropping when you see two camera lenses staring back at you. 
“what—...” you fumble, shaking your head in disbelief as you look at the back of taerae’s phone— propped up with a black music folder. “you’re recording this!?”
“afraid so,” hanbin answers for taerae. “i didn’t really think he could follow through without some supervision. don’t mind me though. unless you just can’t help yourself...”
while at the beginning of this week a situation as perverted and bizarre as this would’ve had your whole nervous system shutting down, you’re still standing tall. present in this strange moment. you smirk.
“aw, tae,” you coo mockingly, turning to your former friend. “how sentimental of you...”
a brow arches in confusion back at you. “what are you––?”
“of course you’d wanna capture such a special moment on camera,” you continue with a patronizing nod. “it’s not every day that you lose your virginity.”
“HEY THAT’S—…” taerae starts to yell at you for sharing this embarrassing personal detail that you’re sure he never disclosed to hanbin. “that’s… that’s not true.”
“oh come on, it’s nothing to be ashamed of,” you twist the metaphorical knife as hanbin stifles a laugh. “i’d be happy to help you out with that, since i was the one who had to listen to you whine for four years about how you were still. a. fucking—”
two fingers are down your throat in an instant. you gag, trying to step backwards, but taerae’s hand finds the back of your head— holding you in place. he removes his fingers slowly, pupils dilating when you whimper in fear.
“i’ve decided i don’t like the swearing,” he says, a sickening hint of sweetness in his tone. any upperhand you had is now gone as he traces your lips with his thumb. “such a pretty mouth. those filthy words shouldn’t be coming out of it.”
“y-you don’t get to decide that,” you stammer unconvincingly.
“so that’s what you really want, then?” he asks, sticking his thumb further into your mouth. you suck obediently. “you wanna have a filthy mouth?”
you nod, his thumb still pressed against your tongue— cheeks hollowed out as taerae bites his lip hungrily.
“then you can have it,” he says before removing his thumb from your mouth and pressing down on your neck and shoulder— forcing you to your knees in front of him. you guess joining the soccer team had really improved his strength. “just remember it’s what you said you wanted.”
taerae unbuttons his jeans, pulling the zipper down. he freezes, clearly unsure of what to do next. maybe this is your opportunity to wiggle your way out of this. if only your curiosity wasn’t equally as strong.
“we––... i have to audition after this,” you protest weakly. “when break’s over, i have to audition for the solo i’ve been prepping for so i want to keep my voice warm right now and—.”
“ah, that’s right. i did forget about that,” he affirms, looking up at the ceiling in thought before smirking back down at you. “but i think i can help keep it pretty warm, actually.”
your attempt to level with taerae only seems to encourage him as he pulls down his jeans and boxer-briefs. you inhale sharply as his hard cock comes to eye-level, so close you can really examine it. though it’s slightly smaller than hanbin’s, it’s thicker and you need to know immediately how it feels in your hand.
“whoah, you—,” taerae stumbles, eyes wide as you take him eagerly in your hand. he stares at you, lips parted as you start to pump him. “holy shit.”
“you’re sure you wanna do this?” you ask, pausing your motion to make eye contact with him. you can tell he doesn’t want you to stop, but there’s conflict lingering there that he just can’t seem to hide.
taerae clears his throat, shaking his head as he resumes his tough guy act. eyes cold once more, he shrugs. “a hole’s a hole.”
after a year of judgmental berating from your former best friend, it was almost comforting to know that he was capable of being even meaner than he already was. it meant that, for whatever reason, he usually didn’t want to be any meaner to you.
he takes both of your hands in one of his, keeping you from using them as his other hand finds the back of your neck again— guiding your face towards his cock. taerae doesn’t need to give much guidance though. you’re aching to get a taste and the way your lips sink down around him nearly knocks the wind out of him.
back pressed against the side of the vending machine, his thumb presses into your cheek— feeling himself inside of your pretty mouth. you swirl your tongue around his tip, causing him to moan softly.
there’s a little bit of rustling coming from where taerae’s phone is propped up on the shelf. you wonder if hanbin’s enjoying this. if he’s touching himself— wishing he was throat deep in you instead.
“c’mon, bud. is (y/n) running this show or are you?” hanbin asks, tone laden with frustration.
“i—... i am,” taerae asserts, grip tightening across the back of your neck. 
he starts to thrust gently into your mouth, an action that you’re not so familiar with. it rattles you a bit— loss of control after feeling like you were gaining it back.
“this is what you asked for, baby,” he reminds you, shallow thrusts starting to venture a bit deeper. “remember? you said you wanted a filthy mouth. so i’m gonna make a mess of it.”
you find the right rhythm to breathe through the thrusts. the tip of his cock is dangerously close to entering your throat, sending another wave of anxiety through you. but it’s not for long. 
your eyes meet taerae’s and, though he’s the one putting you in that danger, you suddenly feel very safe. you let out a sigh, the vibration causing him to mewl. he scratches at your neck affectionately, putting pressure against it to feel himself inside you as he fucks your throat.
“see, keeping that throat nice and warm,” taerae coos as his breathing gets heavier— and his moaning gets louder. “take me so well, i—.”
“shut the fuck up, dude,” hanbin scolds, his own breath growing labored. “do you wanna get caught before you can win the—?”
before hanbin can finish his thought, you feel a warm, sticky liquid begin to pour down your throat. you pull off of taerae, sputtering and coughing as you try to swallow it down. wiping your mouth, you look up at taerae who is looking at you like he wants to dive straight into the han river and never return.
“for fucks sake, are you actually a virgin or something?” hanbin asks angrily. “is that really all you can last for? and, jesus, you’ve gotta warn someone before you do that.”
your throat is starting to burn and you’d love to be able to say something, anything, but the rasp that comes out isn’t pleasant-feeling. you rub at your throat with your now-free hands as taerae’s expression just turns more horrified.
“did i... did i hurt you? fuck, i didn’t mean to—,” taerae starts to babble uselessly until hanbin claps loudly.
“good work, team!” he says as he finishes his round of applause. “mvp definitely goes to me, for coming up with this idea in the first place. i’ll see the campus activities secretary at the big game tomorrow, right?”
“mm,” is all you can croak out. you wish it sounded angrier.
“and i’ll see you at practice tonight, man. i—,” hanbin cuts himself off with a confused look. “wait, where did he go?”
you face forward, expecting to see taerae standing next to the vending machine but... hanbin’s right. he’s vanished.
“that kid’s a piece of work,” hanbin says, shaking his head. “you think he’d be more grateful after i took him under my wing and made him popular. i even got him a spot on the soccer team after a lot of private coaching. i mean, he’s benched for life, but still!”
you’re a saint among men, is what you wish you could say. instead, you just roll your eyes.
“just take his phone and give it back to him in class, will you?” hanbin asks as you stand up and make your way toward the shelves. “and drink some hot tea for that throat, okay? throw some honey in it and you’ll be good as new for tomorrow, i promise.”
you sigh. and you nod. and you pick up taerae’s phone and end the video call. 
and you go back to choir and sit in your black music chair and wait for taerae to come back, but he doesn’t. and when it’s time to audition for the solo you’ve been preparing for, you stay seated and quiet. 
seated and quiet.
like you’ve been for so long.
and when practice ends and the choir room is empty and you remain seated and quiet in your black music chair and tears begin to well up in your eyes, you don’t cry.
you smile.
you stand up.
you shout (briefly, so as not to disturb anyone in neighboring classrooms).
at some point or another, you forgot how to do these things. or you were made to feel like you couldn’t or shouldn’t. 
but that’s who you really are.
who you were always meant to be.
not a juliet. not a violin. not a goalie. not a bird. not a pretty mouth.
you.
you pick up your bag off the floor (and taerae’s) and throw them both over your shoulder, making a beeline toward the door.
absolutely, hanbinnie, you think. you’ll see me at the big game.
209 notes · View notes
aectpen · 6 months
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cool in my book - loser sung hanbin x boxer reader
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m.list
pairing: sung hanbin x fem!reader
synopsis: reader helps hanbin get revenge on his bully
words: 1.3k
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you were doing your usual routine of roaming the halls during the lunch period at school. you told yourself it was calming, and you didn’t need to spend lunch with anyone. but it was because you kinda, no not kinda, you literally had no friends. 
you weren’t friendless in a “oh she’s so shy, i feel horrible for her” way. people thought you were mean and intimidating off of the first glance. sure, you did play into it with your not so nice attitude. getting yourself into plenty of fights, but hey it was always their fault.
you could hear whimpering coming from around the corner. you contemplated walking in the other direction, not wanting to go by them. but, your curiosity got the best of you. who was crying? you wanted to be nosey and guess what happened to them.
once you turned the corner and caught sight of who it was, you stopped in your tracks. the boy from your math class. why would someone have a problem with him? he only comes to school to do his work. he has a reputation of being the quiet, nice guy.
he glanced up at you, his nose and lips smeared with blood, clutching his stomach in pain. while you were known for being quite mean, you weren't immune to moments of vulnerability. seeing his quivering lips and his tear stained cheeks evoked an unavoidable sense of guilt.
after debating on walking away from him, you finally decided to help him, dragging him to the nurse’s office. you sat next to him while the nurse gave him an ice pack and returned to her desk.
 “you could come in with a gun shot wound and they’ll give you frozen vegetables.” you commented, earning a faint giggle from him. “who did that to you?”
“you can just go now.” he looked away.
“come on, i won’t judge.” you nudged him.
“yoon jihyun.”
you looked at him in disbelief. “you’re telling me you let that scrawny ass boy beat you up?” 
“hey! you said you wouldn’t judge!”
“okay, i’m sorry. but why would he do that?” you couldn't help but wonder how he managed to find himself in such a situation when he had his nose buried in a textbook 99.9% of the time.
he scratched the back of his head. “well, i said no to cheating on a test for him.”
“come on.” you pulled him up from the chair.
“where are we going?” he jerked his arm back.
raising an eyebrow, you replied. “we’re gonna jump him.”
“i don’t know who you think i am, but i don’t do that stuff.”
“okay, whatever. meet me right after school at the front gate.”
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he wasted no time, practically sprinting to the school entrance the moment classes ended. he didn't have the slightest idea about your intentions, but he had no intention of either wasting your time or incurring your wrath.
"good, you're on time. i like that," you commented casually as you walked right past him.
he trailed closely behind. "where are you taking me?"
"you just love asking questions. what's your name?" you inquired.
"sung hanbin."
"my name is—" you began, but he interrupted.
"yn. everyone knows your name."
"now, can you tell me where we're going? this is the opposite direction of my house, and i have to get home to study," he said, glancing at you as you cranked up the music blaring in your headphones.
you finally disclosed the destination to him once you were down the street from it, nudging him to get his attention.
"a gym? i really don't have time for a workout," he said, considering walking away.
"next time you let him beat you like that, he'll do far worse than leave you with cat scratches and a belly ache," you reasoned. "i'm a boxer, i can teach you a thing or two about fighting back."
upon arriving at the gym, you guided him to the octagon. "take it all off," you instructed, gesturing to his school uniform.
"all of it?" he felt a slight blush tinting his cheeks.
“no, dipshit. leave some room for imagination.” you began putting on sweatpants and discarding your dress shirt and blazer.
he hesitantly took off his dress shirt, shoes, and blazer. “seriously, are you gonna beat me up next?”
he sounded extremely genuine. you couldn't help but laugh.
the rest of the afternoon was dedicated to teaching him various fighting techniques, but you noticed his gentleness. he wasn't a terrible fighter; he simply held back, unwilling to inflict harm on anyone.
“i don’t want to hurt you!” he held his bands behind his back.
“hanbin, i’m asking you to throw a punch. it doesn’t have to connect” you pulled his arms from behind him.
“but what if it does, then you start bleeding. then you’ll hate me.” he pouted.
hanbin’s mannerisms did warm your heart. at least there was still good people out in the world.
after the training session, you sprawled out on the floor, munching on a granola bar. rolling over, you glanced at hanbin, who sat there with his tank top clinging to his skin, his hair damp, and his gaze fixed on the wall. you had to admit, he looked hot. the school uniform certainly didn't do him justice.
you were oblivious to the fact that he had returned your steady gaze, your eyes moving over his biceps and tracing the veins that snaked up his hands.
"is there something on my face?" he asked in a soft tone.
you couldn't help but laugh at the striking contrast. "if our classmates saw you like this, they'd be all over you," you remarked boldly.
he scratched his head, asking, "is that a good or bad thing?"
you stared at him in disbelief. "i've never met someone simultaneously so smart and dumb, sung hanbin. i was saying that you look really attractive."
“oh! thank you,” a wide smile spreading on his face. “i mean, you’re really.. pretty.” he awkwardly looked away from you, twiddling his thumbs.
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the next day, during the lunch period, you concocted a plan to get revenge on jihyun for hurting hanbin. after spending the day with him, you only felt more angry that he left hanbin crying in the hallway.
"wait right here," you instructed as you left hanbin in an empty room.
"sure thing," he replied, taking a seat at one of the desks.
you walked to the cafeteria and scanned it for jihyun, quickly hearing his loud voice. “jihyun! can i talk to you for a second?” 
surprisingly, jihyun followed you to the classroom where hanbin was waiting. he pointed at hanbin and asked, "what's this about?"
you rested your hands on your hips. "i'm giving you a chance to apologize to him."
“since when did you of all people become mother theresa.” he laughed. “and you. don’t you feel embarrassed? you can’t handle your stuff like a man? don’t make me bitch you again.”
“don’t talk to him like that,” you punched him square in the jaw.
he looked at you with pure anger before lunging straight at you. pushing you against a desk.
but before his fist could connect, hanbin held his arm back and forced him to the ground. jihyun tried getting up, but hanbin repeatedly punched him. 
you stood off to the side wanting to stop him from sending jihyun to the hospital, but you were highkey impressed. he definitely always had that in him. 
hanbin stopped once jihyun stopped fighting back.
“damn, hanbin. not bad.” you held out your fist.
“i’m telling the principal. i’m getting him expelled!” jihyun cried out.
you saw a flash of panic on hanbin’s face. the last thing he wanted was to get in trouble in school. did you corrupt him?
“you’re not gonna get in trouble,” you reassured him. “i’ll take the blame.”
“no, you can’t. it’s my fault you’re in this mess anyway.”
“my highest grade is a D+. i don't think they’ll lose sleep if i get into another scuffle."
“you people make me sick.” jihyun held his nose and ran out the room.
you two laughed at his dramatic reaction. 
“hanbin, you’re cool in my book.” 
“you were always cool in my book.” he responded.
154 notes · View notes
jebewonmorelike · 1 year
Text
I Didn't Think You Had It In You
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(part one - "devil by the whiteboard") wc: 5k (i'm so sorry, longest one yet i've gotta chill but it's WORTH IT I PROMISE) pronouns: none used; n/a warnings: angst, fluff, swearing, some mean!hanbin and some infatuated!hanbin :) also this one's funnier than the last one warnings for alternate ending: suggestive/mature content - minors dni!! (link to it is *in* the fic for proprer conext/placement) summary: studentbodypresident!hanbin is majorly regretting the grief he's put introvertedrival!reader through for their entire academic career. i wonder how he'll try to make it up them... ~masterlist~ ♡ ~kofi (no pressure at all)~ *edited to say that... i edited this haha and it should be free of errors now* FINALLY DONE. PART TWO OF MY MASTERPIECE. lmaoooo. omg super secret surprise ending; my first attempt at such. hope you read both endings tho bc i really like them both :) love y'alllllll gonna go to bed now that i've marathon wrote this for 5 hours!
“WHAT!?” You shout, the shock of the words that just echoed through the hallway nearly knocking the air out of your lungs as you whip around to face the boy who uttered them.
You expect to see him smirking back at you, eyes taunting and mean. But what you find instead appears to be a look of surprise somewhat mirroring your own.
"You heard me that time, too," Hanbin responds quietly, averting your gaze.
You stare at the boy in front of you for a while, desperately trying to fill your lungs back up with the air you had lost. But the more oxygen you take in, the more anger you feel brewing in your blood. Abruptly, you start to walk back to where Hanbin stands in the middle of the hallway and the closer you get, the wider his eyes grow.
Only a few inches away from him now, Hanbin is staring back at you unblinkingly and you swear his cheeks are redder than they normally are. Without thinking, your hands reach up and connect with his chest--
Hanbin stumbles back as you push him, lips parting in surprise despite the lack of force behind your shove. Your hands remain on his chest as shock at your own actions suddenly renders you immobile.
Your face is mere centimeters from his for the second time tonight, both of you staring at each other; unsure what to do next. Hanbin coughs first, the tips of his ears now matching the scarlet of his cheeks. He places his hands on top of yours and removes them from his chest wordlessly.
You're positive that your cheeks are heating up now, too. You take a shaky breath before managing to clumsily demand, “What’s... What's wrong with you!? Why would I ever go out with you!?”
You watch as Hanbin's expression suddenly shifts, the condescending look returning to his eyes. “Maybe so you’d finally have someone to eat lunch with other than the collector’s edition of Jane Eyre.”
You frown, suddenly uneasy that Hanbin must have seen you alone in the library during lunch before. You wondered what other observations he was sitting on until it was the right time to shame you with them. Quietly, you lie, "I have people to eat lunch with."
"The Bronte Sisters don't count," he says with a smirk.
You swallow the lump in your throat that's starting to build. "I don't need anyone to eat lunch with."
"Hey, it's okay," he coos mockingly. "No need to cry. You cry enough during lunch as it is."
"You are such a bastard," you spit, watching as Hanbin's eyes seem to light up at the fire igniting in you once more. "Even if I wanted someone to eat lunch with, what gives you the audacity to suggest that that someone should be you!?"
He's just staring at you again, but his expression now seems to be one of awe rather than blank shock— though it's unrecognizable to you with white hot rage clouding your vision.
"You are a despicable human being, Hanbin. You're a liar; you're a phony. And now you've even become a cheat! You have never caused me to feel anything other than annoyance, anger and, tonight, disdain. But now..."
Hanbin's eyebrows raise slightly as he waits for you to continue.
"Now I can't help but pity you, too. Would it really have been so bad if my team won the Decathlon? Is your ego that fragile that you'd rather sabotage all of your integrity than to fail publicly? I feel so bad for you that you'd risk ruining your entire reputation in some misguided attempt to save it."
"I wasn't--," he says quietly, but you cut him off and he doesn't protest.
"I let you push me around, because I thought it was in everybody's best interest. But now that I've watched you stoop so low, I'm not making excuses anymore," you say, determinedly. "So, after I've said all this, I'll ask again: why would I ever want to go out with you, Sung Hanbin?"
It takes awhile for a response to appear on Hanbin's face and, once it does, you're a bit shaken at how unrecognizable it is. He seems to notice how you're looking at him and clears his throat before forcing himself to laugh in offense.
“I was just joking! No need to be so—… Why would I ever want to go out with you? Like I'm not way out of your league," he rambles haughtily, shaking his head in disbelief. "I just thought it might make joining my team seem like a better idea by comparison.”
"Well, it didn't," you declare, knowing there had to have been a motive behind Hanbin's words but still feeling a bit foolish for having almost considered believing them. "I'm not joining Blue Team next year. And now I don't think I'll be joining any team next year."
"What!?" Hanbin exclaims, eyebrows furrowing in confusion. "What do you mean you're not joining a team next year? You love Decathlon!"
You smile sadly. "I do. It's too bad you had to go and ruin it."
"I didn't know that you wouldn't--," he starts, fumbling his sentence and starting again as if he's panicking. "I didn't want you to quit! (Y/N), that's not--."
"I really hope you're happy now that you got what you wanted, Hanbin," you cut him off, making your way back to the exit doors and throwing them open. Over your shoulder, you call:
"You win!"
~
“If I had a penny for every time I caught you reading this book…” 
The sudden voice startles you, your collector’s edition of Jane Eyre falling from your hands and onto the table. The book shuts closed before you have a chance to mark the page you’re on.
“Oh,” Hanbin mumbles awkwardly. “Sorry.”
You open the book back up, quickly flipping to the page and placing your bookmark in it before setting it back down.
“I guess you would have every page memorized by now,” Hanbin says with a laugh. 
You frown at him suspiciously. “What do you want?”
“I don’t want anything except to have lunch with you,” he says smiling ear-to-ear, before glancing at your book. “And Miss Bronte, of course.”
You roll your eyes, picking up your sandwich for the first time since you sat down. “Well we both would rather gauge our eyes out than make small talk with you.”
“Oh, ouch,” Hanbin says as he bites his lip in a smirk. “Should I call your bluff?”
You pick up the spoon for your yogurt, immediately raising it to your eye before Hanbin reaches out in a panic and wraps his hand around yours. He lowers your hand that’s holding the spoon back down to the table with a nervous laugh.
“You’re a funny one, aren’t you?” Hanbin asks rhetorically, nodding as he pops off the lid to his soup and spoons it into his mouth. “This is nice! Why haven’t we done this before?”
Your face scrunches up in confusion. “Because I hate you.”
“No, we hate each other,” he corrects, eating another spoonful of soup. “Friendship is a two-way street.”
You choke a bit on your sandwich, coughing to clear your throat before exclaiming, “We are NOT friends!”
“But we could be,” Hanbin muses far-too happily. “Wouldn’t that be great?”
“No,” you answer plainly.
“It would be better than what we are now, right? Think about it: we would be a pretty unstoppable duo!”
“I wouldn't be your friend even if you paid me,” you spit. “And I know you’re really into paying people to get what you want lately.”
“Oh please, that was so three days ago,” Hanbin sighs exasperatedly. “Things were so much easier when you didn’t have a backbone. I pay to win one competition and you’re suddenly acting like you didn’t used to do everything I told you to?”
“I told you I’m not letting you push me around anymore,” you say definitively.
He smirks. “I just don’t really believe you…”
Your hand wraps around your spoon again, hurtling toward your right eyeball as Hanbin’s eyes widen in sudden fear. His hand reaches out to grab yours again, bringing it back down to the table in awkward silence.
“Please stop trying to impale yourself at the lunch table,” Hanbin requests quietly, attempting to steady his breathing. "I'll do anything you want, just do not make me have to carry your eyeball in my soup cup to the nurse's office."
You blink back at him. "Anything?"
"Oh, uh..." Hanbin says, clearly surprised that you clung onto his plea. "Did you want something... from me?"
You sigh, eating another spoonful of yogurt. "I have a proposal for Student Government."
"Oh sure, if you send it to me I can put my name on it and sign it," he says with a nod.
"No," you respond quickly.
"No? What do you--?"
"It's mine," you announce, placing your spoon down. "It's my proposal and it really means a lot to me and... I want everyone to know it's mine."
Hanbin looks at you curiously for a moment before a small smile graces his lips. He blinks at you as he whispers, "Cute."
"What?" You ask, one eyebrow raising in confused shock.
The boy in front of you's eyes widen for a moment before he shakes his head nonchalantly and looks down into his soup. "I meant, it's cute you think you'll be able to pitch it without puking..."
"I want you to pitch it," you respond, glaring back at him. "I know I can't make a speech to save my life. But people always like my words best when they come out of your mouth anyway."
Hanbin's eyes are doe-like as his lips form into a little surprised pout.
"So, could you pitch my proposal to the Student Council for me?" You ask, chewing your cheek. "All I want this time is the credit. It's really important to me so... I just..."
"Okay," he agrees, nodding gently. "I can do that."
You blink back at him. "Really?"
"Sure, I can help you," Hanbin says, before adding with a smirk:
"We're friends now, after all."
~
You take your seat at the far right of the Officers’ Table, adjusting your name plaque after neatly tucking your bag under your chair. It’s been two weeks since the last Student Government meeting and you are incredibly excited about the new proposal you’ve drawn up in support of increased mental health services on campus. You have to admit you’re glad that Hanbin had agreed to make the pitch speech for you.
“I’m excited to hear your proposal!” Stephanie, the Student Council Treasurer, says as she sits down next to you. “Are you nervous to pitch it? I know that public speaking is not your strong suit.”
Your eyebrows furrow confusedly at her question. “What do you mean? I’m not pitching it. Hanbin is.”
“Oh, um…” She smiles at you awkwardly. “Proposals can only be pitched by the member that created them! Those are the rules. I thought you knew that.”
“But I write Hanbin’s—…” You cut yourself off before you expose the Student Body President to the Treasurer. Your proposal is something you are terribly proud of and you want everyone to know it’s yours! But to find out now, only minutes away from the beginning of the meeting, that you’d have to be the one to present it to the entirety of the Student Government… Your vision is already burring with anxiety. All you can muster in response to Stephanie is, “Oh, okay.”
Completely frozen in fear, you’re only pulled out of your dissociative state when Stephanie taps you on the shoulder. She nods at you, gesturing with her hands for you to stand up. You scan the room, surprised when you realize it’s filled with the members of Student Government and that you must’ve zoned out for the entire first half of the meeting.
“Wait—,” Hanbin interjects from where he sits on the other side of Stephanie. He frowns at you confusedly, continuing, “I thought I was reading (Y/N)’s proposal…”
Hyungjun, the Vice President, laughs on Hanbin’s left. “Pretending he doesn’t know the rules. This guy!”
Hanbin’s eyes widen as he glances at the other Officers, unsure of how to react.
“It’s (Y/N)’s proposal,” Stephanie thankfully elaborates. “So, obviously, (Y/N) has to pitch it. And breaking that rule is immediate grounds for a dismissal vote.”
“Oh,” Hanbin mumbles, slowly nodding as he must be considering— just as you had— how many times he should’ve had a dismissal vote called on him by now. “Obviously.”
“So, (Y/N), if you’ll please,” Hyungjun prompts, nodding his head for you to stand up and recite your proposal. You're positive that all the oxygen has left the classroom as you shakily rise to your feet.
Gathering your proposal paper in your hand, you stare at the words on the page-- suddenly rendered illiterate by the amount of fear coursing through your body. Your breathing is shallow and thin and you wonder how long it will take before you've fainted from the anxiety.
"Um, the--... the, um, proposal I am sharing today," you begin; the nervous stammering you always developed when forced to address a crowd rearing it's ugly and reliable head. "Is about--... Or, well, it's to address... It's to help fix the campus's lack of rental mealth hesources."
"Oh god," you hear Hanbin whisper under his breath as you completely flub your words. All of the Student Council members are now chuckling at your mistake as you shake your head quickly, trying to refocus yourself so you can continue.
"There's--... Um, there's plenty of evidence that," you say, eyes locked on your paper as you attempt to make sense of the proposal you'd written which now appears as nothing more to you than a page full of gibberish. "That... That this school... That it's--..."
"Is this a joke?" A Student Council member shouts from the back of the classroom, as you resign yourself to a mere dear in headlights. "Aren't you embarrassed? You're the Student Government Secretary and you can't even form a coherent sentence?"
"HEY!" An angry voice booms to your left as you try to force down the bile that's currently stinging your esophagus. The sudden shout jolts you back to awareness as you look to see who it came from.
"Do you want to leave?" Hanbin threatens, jaw set in an uncharacteristic public display of fury. "Would you care to explain how bullying a Student Government Officer is at all in line with your duty as a Council Member?"
The student's eyes widen as he stares back at the Student Body President in shock. "I--... I--..."
"Look who can't form a coherent sentence now," Hanbin says with a smirk. A few moments pass before Hyungjun clears his throat, causing Hanbin to remember where he is. He looks around at the room apprehensively before standing and bowing sheepishly to the rest of the Student Council.
"I'm so sorry for the disrespectful outburst," he apologizes, voice returning to its usual "perfect" tone and the dimples beneath his eyes cratering as he smiles embarrassedly. "But as Student Body President, I simply can't condone bullying. Especially of one of our Officers, who is..."
Hanbin finally looks at you, his eyes suspiciously genuine. He averts your gaze awkwardly after just a moment, turning back to address the rest of the Student Council members. "Who is the best Student Government Secretary I could've ever asked for. And whom unfortunately, has a terrible fear of public speaking."
You watch as the crowd of students begin to look down at their hands and their laps guiltily.
"(Y/N) has had incredible ideas for this school," Hanbin starts, his eyebrows raising when he remembers he can't actually mention all of the ideas you've had for this school-- as he had always been the one to pitch them and, in turn, pass them off for his own. He recovers, "That have never been heard by us before due to (Y/N)'s fear of public speaking! And it's a shame that on (Y/N)'s first attempt to show them to us, you responded with bullying and ridicule."
The students in the classroom are now all doe-eyed as they take in Hanbin's words and, as you realize what's going on, you have to suppress a laugh.
"Incredible," you whisper, shaking your head in disbelief at the boy that is Sung Hanbin.
"I think we should all treat each other with the utmost respect and kindness-- especially as members of the Student Government. And this, coincidentally, plays into (Y/N)'s proposal about mental health resources at our school," Hanbin continues, doing what he does best. "I think we should move to vote on this proposal immediately."
"You're right, Sunbaenim!" The same student that had hurled insults at you earlier agrees enthusiastically as he stands up from his seat, eyes practically turning to hearts as they gaze upon Hanbin. "We need to provide more anti-bullying and mental health resources for our students. I'm so glad you came up with this brilliant proposal!"
"Oh, I didn't! I--," Hanbin starts to correct, but you already know how this ends as you sit back down in your seat with a heavy sigh.
"What would we do without our shining Student Body President?" Another student calls, starting a round of applause for Hanbin.
You observe him quietly, watching as any signs of protest slowly leave his face. He smiles resignedly back at his peers, clasping his hands together to nod graciously at them as the other Officers join in on the applause as well.
Even when Sung Hanbin tried to help you, it all ended up falling perfectly back into his lap anyway.
~
"What page are we on now?"
You groan, slamming your book down on the table. "Is this going to be a pattern? Do I have to eat lunch in the bathroom from now on?"
"Not my ideal place to eat lunch, but," he pauses, placing his hands down flat on the table with a smile. "I'll brave it for you."
You pick up your collector's edition of Jane Eyre and drop it on his right hand.
He presses his lips together firmly, looking up to the corner of the room as he tries to ignore the pain. "Okay, I know yesterday didn't go like we'd hoped, but--."
"Like I hoped," you correct, shaking your head in disgust. "I asked you to read my proposal for me. And everyone just ended up pretending like it was yours anyway. And you went along with it!"
"Well--."
"Where is the 'we' in any of that?" You cut him off quickly, watching as his brow furrows. "There is no we. You stole my proposal; just like you stole the Decathlon."
Hanbin stares at you silently for a moment, before responding softly, "I'm sorry."
"Sure you are."
"I am!" He pleads and you hate to admit that he appears earnest. "Really, I didn't mean for that to happen. I stuck up for you when that asshole made fun of you! It's not like I didn't do anything at all."
You stare back at Hanbin wordlessly. He had stood up in front of the entire Student Council to scold that stupid kid in your defense. You'd never seen him get angry in front of people like that before. He'd always cared too much about his perfect, clean image.
"I want to make it up to you," he says with a nod. "So I have a proposal for you."
"Is it the one you stole from me?" You deadpan.
He sighs exasperatedly. "Shut up and let me tell you I have a spot for you on the Blue Team for the rest of this semester!"
You blink back at him in surprise. "What?"
"You deserve to win Scholastic Decathlon at least once, (Y/N)," Hanbin says with a smile. "And if you're really not gonna compete again next year then let me make it happen this season."
"Hanbin..." You falter, brow furrowing suspiciously. "Y-... your team is full."
"I told you there's always a spot for you," he rebuts quickly. "Ilsung's been pretty annoying recently anyway. Didn't you hear what he said about you at Regionals?"
Sighing annoyedly, you take a sip of your iced tea. "Hanbin, I can't join your team."
"Why not?" He whines, folding his hands on the table and resting his chin on them. "You'd be doing me a really big favor!"
"Aren't you the one whose supposed to be doing me a favor?"
Hanbin blinks up at you, pouting in a sickening display of cuteness. "Pleeeeaaase..."
"If you don't stop that right now, I will shove this entire bottle of tea UP your--."
"I'd like to see you try."
~
It's been a week since Hanbin had asked you to join the Blue Team for the remainder of the season. Since then, "Hanbin's" Student Government proposal regarding mental health resources on campus has passed three student votes and, today, a school-wide assembly is taking place to celebrate the proposal and the Student Body President's exceptional efforts.
Your moral obligation to your Secretary duties coming before your feelings, you had written Hanbin's speech for this afternoon just like you always did.
It has also been a week and a day since Hanbin started eating lunch with you in the library. No matter how hard you tried to bully him into leaving you alone to your collector's edition of Jane Eyre (or how hard you smacked him with various items from your lunchbox), your efforts were in vain.
Hanbin had no intentions of ceasing your "lunch dates", as he called them (always prompting you to hit him once more). He'd flinched at first when Hyungjun and Stephanie walked up to the both of you last Friday, face flushing when they asked him what he was doing eating lunch with you.
But just as soon as that fear of being perceived as imperfect appeared, it subsequently faded away.
"A President and his Secretary notoriously make a pretty good duo, don't you think?" He'd said with an innocent smile.
Hyungjun and Stephanie looked at each other confusedly, of course interpreting Hanbin's words to imply something different than he'd meant.
"Oh! Oh no," Hanbin had clarified quickly, raising his hands in defense. "I meant, as... I meant as friends!"
Hyungjun and Stephanie had nodded quickly before excusing themselves and running out of the library.
"This is why I have to curate all of your words for you," you had said, rolling your eyes at him.
But no matter how much you outwardly displayed your dislike of Hanbin's presence during your lunch period... you'd be lying if you said you hadn't started to get used to him bothering you with his company.
Perhaps you'd even started to like it.
So now, as Hanbin stands behind the tall, wooden podium in the center of the gymnasium delivering the speech you wrote for him, you stand at the back of the gym and observe him carefully. He really is a great public speaker-- every word you've written for him coming to life on his tongue.
But there's a sentence he utters that suddenly catches your attention as you realize he's no longer referencing the paper in front of him.
“The truth is… I didn’t write this proposal,” Hanbin confesses, a wave of confused and shocked whispers sounding across the room. Your stomach churns as you hang onto his every word.
He swallows nervously, before continuing, “And, furthermore, I also haven’t written any of the proposals or speeches that I’ve given during my time as Student Body President. Secretary (Y/N) has written all of them.”
Horrified, you look around the room as everyone’s eyes come to rest on you. Desperately resisting the urge to curl up into a ball and die, your focus remains locked on Hanbin. 
“I'm so sorry to disappoint all of my peers and teachers, but I needed to tell the truth as it's the right thing to finally do,” he continues, nodding affirmatively. “And I also have something to say about the Scholastic Decathlon. The only reason the Blue Team won Regionals this year is because—.”
“Because you’re such an incredible team!” You shout, standing up suddenly and instantly regretting it. Hanbin’s eyes meet yours immediately, his eyebrows raised in shock at your sudden outburst. But there’s no going back now. 
Walking up to the stage quickly as you do your best to dissociate, you push Hanbin aside when you reach the podium. “Hi, everyone. I’m so sorry for the confusion, but Hanbin is actually quite under-the-weather. He’s so dedicated to his role as Student Body President that he still wanted to deliver his speech today even with a fever. We pumped him full of ibuprofen, but…”
You turn to Hanbin, who is staring at you as if you have two heads. You touch the back of your hand to his forehead and put on the performance of your lifetime as you dote over him. “Oh my gosh, he’s burning up! You poor thing.”
“What are you doing? I was gonna—,” Hanbin protests, but you cut him off by stepping on his foot behind the podium. He seethes at the pain, glaring at you as you continue to save his ass.
“Unfortunately Hanbin is very sick, so he’s not really making much sense. I’m sure he will apologize for the confusion when he’s feeling better,” you conclude, grabbing Hanbin by the arm. “I’ll bring him to the nurse’s office now.”
As you drag a flabbergasted Hanbin through the crowd and out the gymnasium doors, you march down the hallway and into an empty classroom. Pulling him inside, you lock the door behind him quickly and shove him up against it a bit more aggressively than you’d intended.
“Are you CRAZY!?” You shout, hands balled up in his dress shirt as he gawks back at you wordlessly.
“Are YOU!?” He shouts back, eyes nearly popping out of their sockets. “(Y/N), what are you doing? I was trying to tell everybody the truth!”
“WELL, STOP IT!!”
Hanbin’s cheeks flush pink as he looks at your hands fisted up in his white-button down. He’s entirely flustered by your uncharacteristic display of force. “W—… What?”
Dropping your hands to your sides, you repeat, “Stop it before you ruin your fucking life, you absolute moron!”
“I—… Isn’t that what you want?" He asks confusedly. "I was terrible to you. Don’t you want me to pay for what I did?”
“What I wanted was to finally win Decathlon fair and square. And to have my name on my own stupid proposals and speeches for once.”
“But… I’m the one who made sure none of that happened. You even said you were gonna quit Decathlon next year because of me," Hanbin protests. "Come on, you have to want me to face some sort of serious consequence!”
“Hanbin! What’s… Why are you doing this!?" You exclaim, stepping back from the boy. "Do you want me to join the Blue Team that bad? You won't even be allowed back on it if you tell everybody the truth.”
He shakes his head quickly. “No, of course not!”
“Then what’s the deal, huh? I know it’s something. Do you seriously expect me to believe that you really just feel sorry for everything that's ever happened between us all of a sudden?”
“It’s not… It’s not all of a sudden. I—…” Now Hanbin is giving you a run for your money as the worst stammering mess. “I’ve been sorry ever since you said that you…”
Growing impatient, you demand, “Since I said that I what!?”
“That you were disappointed in me!” He shouts under pressure— his lips parting slightly as he sharply inhales at his own words.
You blink back at him, eyes just as wide as his. “I said that?”
He nods slowly. “You—… you leaned towards me and with all of this fire in your eyes, you told me that you were disappointed in me. I didn’t think you had it in you.”
"I don't remember," you say as you swallow nervously-- the tone of Hanbin's voice almost daring you to think he might’ve meant something more. “To be honest, I was so mad that I… I sort of blacked out.”
He smiles now, genuinely and the cute under-eye dimples that are reserved for public events are now on display only for you. You’d be lying if you said they didn’t make you feel some type of way in this unexpectedly intimate moment. “I’m not surprised. You also called me a ‘cheating asshole’ and a ‘self-righteous prick’.”
You press your lips together, slightly embarrassed before mumbling, “You deserved it.”
“I did!” He agrees a little too enthusiastically. “I deserve worse, actually.”
“Hanbin…”
(super secret spicy alternate ending 🌶️ HERE 🌶️-- minors do not view/interact; just continue reading below!! also pls read bothhhhh if you are of age hahaha if you want no pressure but pressure)
“Come on, (Y/N)— I’m everything you said I am and more,” he says, biting his lip. “So why shouldn’t everybody know what you know?”
“Because I already forgave you, you dumbass!”
Hanbin’s mouth is already open to protest, but when he actually hears your words it shuts tightly. His head tilts to the side innocently in a questioning gaze. "You did?"
You sigh. "Yes. I mean, you've done a lot to try to make everything up to me. And I let you keep eating lunch with me, didn't I?"
The boy in front of you's lips part in surprise before he finally grins. "I knew you liked eating lunch with me more than Jane Eyre!"
You roll your eyes, trying and failing to hold back a grin of your own. "Any more unkind words towards Jane and we're kicking you out of the lunch club."
He laughs and you notice for the first time how beautifully joy manifests on his face. But his expression quickly becomes more serious once again. "I really am sorry, (Y/N). For everything. I've been awful to you for way too long and... I can't tell you how much I regret it. It turns out I actually really like you!"
Your jaw drops at his sudden confession and... so does his.
"As a person!" He exclaims, holding both hands up in defense as he laughs awkwardly. "I meant, as a person. You know phrasing's not my strong suit."
Cheeks heating up, you nod understandingly though you hate to admit his words had your heart racing.
Hanbin's lips press together in a dimpled smile. "So... does this mean you'll join the Blue Team for the rest of the year?"
You pucker your lips for a moment as you think, before answering definitively, "No. I could never betray my Pink Team like that."
He bites his lip, nodding sadly in agreement at your sentiment. Reaching for the door handle and unlocking it, your eyes reconnect with Hanbin's. In the end, he'd gone through all this effort just to make things right-- more than you'd ever expected him to do for you.
And the tiny frown on his face isn't helping to convince you to leave him empty-handed.
"But if I remember correctly," you add, your hand falling from the door knob to your side as you muster up all of the courage hiding deep within you. "You also pitched me an alternative."
Hanbin's eyes narrow in confusion before they suddenly light up, lips parted in shock.
"So maybe we can graduate from 'lunch dates' to a real date some time," you say, and it's not a question. Hanbin just stands there, grinning like an absolute idiot. "How does that sound?"
"Good," he says, nodding rapidly. "It sounds good."
"Good," you affirm, opening the door of the classroom. "Now let's get out of here..."
Hanbin follows you into the hallway, still smiling like he just won the lottery.
"Stop looking so happy," you say, smacking his shoulder playfully. "You're about to have to go to the nurse's office and fake the worst flu of your fucking life."
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riotokki · 5 months
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ㅤㅤㅤ ㅤꔫㅤWINTER FAIRYTALE⠀𖫲⠀⠀PROLOGUE,
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͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏͏ ͏ ͏ ͏𐬹 ୨౿ ꤫ paring⠀𖫲⠀⠀sung hanbin && fem reader, genre⠀𖫲⠀⠀highschool au && series, warnings⠀𖫲⠀⠀hanbin may be written poorly + there may be grammar mistakes, wc⠀𖫲⠀⠀978
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ㅤꔫㅤTHE SOUND OF MOVING FOLLOWED BY THE FAINT SOUND OF A SNAP echoed through the desolate streets as you strolled around, dissatisfaction wavering over you the longer you remained outside. you closed your eyes momentarily before moving along, your eyes landing on the nearby lake. you felt your lips curl slightly the longer your eyes lingered on it, faint contentment blossoming in the midst of your heart as you suddenly thought of all the moments you'd captured here. you couldn't forget them, especially one, the moment you met him. sung hanbin.
ㅤꔫㅤthe quiet streets and the frosty wind had left you feeling more than relaxed. after today, your head had been caught in an endless loop and you needed a break. a feeble sigh left the brim of your lips, the glistening snowflakes dancing around it as you stared ahead, gazing into the star-filled lake; your heart plumped as though it was a freshly grown treat. the night always managed to calm you even now as you continued to stare out (occasionally snapping photos) with a smile that was almost imperceptible, that was until the bustling sound of footsteps against the cold ground caught your attention. turning your head, you were met with the lovely sight of a boy. he appeared to be around your age. you blinked at him for a moment before switching your attention back to the lake.
“um, pardon me,” a soft voice called out, gaining your attention. you turned around, only for it to be the boy from a few moments ago. your eyebrows furrowed slightly as a pout etched onto your lips, curiously waiting for him to continue. “i hope you don't mind, but it seems that my camera isn't working, do you think you could help me?” a shy smile etched onto his blushed lips before glancing at the ground, his hands swaying beside him. for a moment you didn't say anything, this added to the poor boy's nerves as he looked up at you, nervousness glistening in the brim of his eyes. you sighed before nodding and walking towards the boy, reaching your hand out. his eyes widened out of pure surprise before handing you his camera with a giant beam. your hands clasped each other's before you brought the camera down, carefully examining it.
moments passed, neither of you uttering a single word, as you continued working on the camera whilst he stood there quietly, a soft smile staining his lips as he watched you, patiently waiting for you to finish. after a bit, you closed the camera before holding it up to your face, examining it one last time before handing it to him. “here, it should work now.” you mumbled as you watched his eyes shine like the stars in the silent sky, the smile from before never faltering. “ah, thank you so much!” he beamed, his eyes molding into a shape that resembled that of tranquil crescent moons. you merely nodded before turning around, “oh, wait,” his voice halted your movements as you looked back at him, the same confusion from earlier coated your face. you waited curiously as you watched him bring the camera to his face, your eyes squinted at his figure. “what are you doing?” you could barely mumble those words before a flash blinded you. you stumbled back before catching your footing, your eyes widening out of shock. “what the.....” you stared at him, shock washing through your face. the boy only smiled at you, a soft laugh escaping his lips, one that seemed to pierce your heart with warmth that you couldn't bother explaining.
“i'm sorry if that scared you, but here,” he waited for the photo to process before taking it out and handing it to you. your eyes scanned the photo, your mouth felt dry, so dry that you could barely form words. “what's this?” you managed to say, he stared at the photo before looking up at you, “a photo,” he said plainly, you scoffed at his words, “i know that, but what for?” he didn't say anything for a moment before answering, “nothing in particular! just consider it thanks for helping me.” a faint 'oh' left your mouth before bringing the photo down to your side. “welp, i'd best be on my way,” he smiled at you before gently taking your hand in his, “thank you again, maybe we'll meet again?” your eyes met as he said this, and it felt as though time had stopped. the intense eye contact you'd shared was far too much, but for some reason, you wished for it to never end. the pretty boy stared at you shortly before giving you his signature heartwarming smile and unlinking your hands. he waved at you before walking away into the quiet streets.
your eyes remained where he'd been walking until his figure was out of sight. your eyes flickered around, taking in the interaction you'd just had. your eyes flickered towards the photo from before and brought it up, staring at it once more. the smile that managed to creep onto your face was small, almost unrecognizable, but it was there. you rubbed the photo, the remainder of his warmth kissing the tips of your fingers. you blinked at the photo, zoning out before staring ahead. just who was he? would you see him again? the thoughts that blossomed in your head became overwhelming, but you couldn't stop thinking about him. for some odd reason, the short interaction you had, had stained every bit of you. you attempted to shake the feeling off, your head slowly moving along other places. he held no significance, so why bother thinking of him? you shook your head before averting your attention back to the world around you. he was nothing more than a person you'd just talk to. it's not as though you'd meet him again.
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ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ꔫㅤprevious⠀𖫲⠀⠀next,
͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏͏ ͏ ͏ ͏𐬹 ୨౿ ꤫ LETTERS⠀𖫲⠀⠀riotokki, omg this took forever (im lying i was just procrastinating the final thing). anyways, thanks to my bsf lizser for helping me with the proofreading n criticism!!! (you guys should check her out she's such an amazing writer n shes super sweet!!!) but with that being said thank you for reading! i'll try to get another chapter out maybe later today!!! sendings hug + take care of yourself n dont forget to drink water!!! 🐥💗💗💗
ㅤꔫㅤTAGLIST⠀𖫲⠀⠀@bunreis, @leehanist, ask to join!
ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ © riotokki 2023.ㅤꔫㅤonly on tumblr.
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loserlvrss · 14 days
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꒰ 𝐋𝐈𝐊𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐓 𝐌𝐄 𝐓𝐎 ꒱ 성한빈
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summary : your boyfriend was perfect, everyone could agree on it... so why were you trying so hard to love him how he wanted you to?
genre : angst, hanbin x afab!reader tws : language, angst author notes : y'all know i love my sad stories don’t play word count : 1.4k
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you felt a tear escape your eye, rolling over your nose bridge and splotching against the white pillow case. you fought with sniffling, afraid you'd make the man pressed against your back stir.
you tried to make your pulse race, heart swell, anything that said you loved him more than anything. but, whenever you looked at him you saw someone that shouldn't be yours anymore; it just broke your heart instead.
you stayed up at night imagining all the ways he should make you feel. and it had nothing to do with under achieving because he was the epitome of perfection — really — everyone could contest to your boyfriend being the man of their dreams.
so, why couldn't he be the man of yours?
you were supposed to be the lucky one because he could picture himself marrying you someday. he's said he was prepared to settle down with you, start a family, and be yours forever. he wanted the picquet fences, two and a half kids, to live the dream people strive their whole lives to achieve. you had every door opened for you. with his hand in yours you should feel on top of the world. but, you didn't, and it made you feel as if you were stuck leading him on, trying too hard to love him like he wanted you to.
just like you know you have the privilege to.
but it wasn't enough. however, you didn't know what was either then.
loves supposed to be a two-way-street, a 50/50 between give and take. of course, you knew it would come with sacrifices, nonetheless, wasn't your peace of mind too high a price to pay?
it’s been said that the moment secrets start to pile up — the moment you start to feel on edge around the single person you're supposed to come to for anything — the relationship isn't meant to go on.
you gripped his arm tighter, trying to get warm while being swirled by such cold ghosts. they knew all the secrets you kept at bay during the day. however, once the sun went down, they taunt you as if it's the only thing they were conjured to do.
you couldn't figure out if being alone was worse than feeling alone with him at your side. were you prepared to suck it up; to fake it until you make it? would it, in the end, be like the movies and you have this big epiphany, finally realizing that you did love him?
because you thought you did.
but if this was what love is supposed to feel like, then you couldn't understand why people search their whole lives for a mediocre feeling that just weighs heavy within your gut.
it was seemingly closer to guilt.
this house you two had built together was haunted, and it was getting harder and harder to not look over your shoulder like you've actually done something wrong.
maybe you liked the hurt. maybe you liked knowing that you were yearned for as deeply as he does for you... or maybe that was all the lies it took to make you stay.
you always cursed yourself for being too easy, knowing you deserved better from yourself. more.
would he cry if you pushed your way from his arms, using shallow breaths to try and explain yourself? would he cry if he knew you were leaving?
would you?
you were walking a thin line between this and whatever you wanted it to be. you knew it would be easy to stay, but don't you deserve to feel like you're on cloud nine whenever you see him? if you googled the definition of love and happiness, your picture-perfect relationship wouldn't even be within the search results.
it was gut-wrenching. physically nauseating. there was no way you could face him, looking in his eyes as you said you loved him too, while knowing your palms didn't sweat with anticipation. you’d kiss his lips and think that he was just another man, and that made you ill. you wanted so desperately to be in love with him, that you've caused yourself to hurdle to the bathroom just to lie and say that you ate something bad earlier in the day.
was there something wrong with you? you always thought that there must have been. you had it good — so, so easy — he's what everybody wants, a true gentleman, the definition of husband material: he was good with kids, he respected you, he's confident and always spoke kindly. so, why was it, in reality, so hard?
you found yourself recalling memories that felt good in the moment, but you always had a lingering thought — a rash that burned your skin — that something was off.
“bin, do you love me?”
“more than anything.”
it echoed in your head, swirling your thoughts like a wild tornado, and bouncing off every surface.
“do you love me?”
no. yes. maybe? it was as simple as a couple words, but more complicated than you could have ever imagined. no, you loved the idea of him. yes, he was perfect. and, maybe.
you keep thinking you could. you want to. you’ve willed yourself to. but, did you?
“yes, more than anything.”
did the lies get better the more times they’re worn?
maybe.
you thought it’d be easier if he didn’t. you thought it’d be easier to let go if he only liked you a lot. maybe even less than a lot — a moderate amount?
you found it hard to look at yourself because you played the role so well that you didn’t even know who you were anymore. the perfect girlfriend. the loving wife. the trophy at his side. the flash of the camera that never catches the movie. but, it was sickening seeing someone else’s face staring back at you every time you’d pass a reflective surface.
but if you kept trying to force yourself into the house that never felt like a home, you felt like you’d eventually go crazy — actually, absolutely batshit insane as the plaster whispered to you; words that sounded sweet but never tasted like it.
if there was any reason to get out, it was doubt. and, that’s all you feel when you touch him. as sad as it is, all good things must come to a bittersweet end. were you prepared to let the curtain fall and the ending credits roll? you feared not, but you feared a lot of things.
you didn’t want him to beg you, honestly you didn’t even want him to wake up and see you leaving. maybe you could will the wind to pick up, masking your sounds. you didn’t want him to look down at you with such adoration that it made you rethink the decision that you have never stopped thinking about.
you’ve rarely ever lost the ability of sight — to critically think — but when faced with the pros and the cons of toughing out the relationship, you just felt lost.
you could on and on being ignorant, but what’s love if there’s nothing left to fight for? you didn’t know. and maybe that’s what pained you the most; you didn’t know.
would it be right, or would it be wrong? only time would tell. your decision would tell.
it did tell.
you’d left a letter on the cool countertop, splotched with tears and ink stains. the ballpoint pen still laid next to it as you stared at your signature, your heart. it was romantic, but in reality stupid to romanticize something so cruel. maybe you did love him, and that’s why you had to let him go.
was it undignified to write your words instead of telling him face to face? or did it take strength to do something you never thought you could?
he deserved someone who was prepared to take on everything he could ever want — knowing you couldn’t give that to him washed you with guilt — you knew that anything and everything within the world should be his. you also knew somewhere deep down that it would hurt, maybe he’d even cry for you, but soon he’d see that you weren’t anything special. you were just another girl who would eventually become a footnote in a chapter he’d come to forget about.
he deserved better than artificial i love yous, better than superficial feelings and uncertain heartbeats. he deserved better than cold skin, and pale features. he deserved nonverbal affection and reassurance. he deserved actions and devotion. he deserved a lot, but one thing he never deserved was you.
and you never deserved to receive all of that from him for nothing in return. however, you knew he wouldn’t take it back even if he had the chance to. he loved you like bees love flowers, like the sun loves the moon, like the body needs air, and it made your stomach turn.
you’d found someone so easy to fall in love with, but that’s exactly what you couldn’t do.
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reblogs, likes and comments are greatly appreciated! thank u!
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cinnajun · 9 months
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ᵕ̈ ೫˚∗: arguments with zb1
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a/n: omg i posted before midnight this is a big win
notes: yujin is not included due to his age!
wc | 1.9k
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jiwoong
the best way i can describe an argument with jiwoong is “mature”
you guys don’t argue often at all so when you do there’s usually a good reason for you to be arguing
perhaps it has to do with your living situation, or you’re not taking an issue jiwoong talked to you about as seriously as he wants you to be, or you feel like he’s spending too much time away from you
whatever it is, your argument will last max 3 days
day one is reserved for sulking, and you might end up staying the night at a friend’s house while jiwoong sits with hao and hanbin and tries to work through what he’s feeling
day two is for thinking—both of you think through things rationally and take mental notes on what you did wrong and what you think was on the other person
then, day three is for talking it out. you’ll decide on a place to meet that isn’t home, and you’ll work through everything while not getting upset or saying something unwarranted.
then, afterward, you’ll go home together and do something light and fun to cheer the both of you up
things go back to normal within four days, and you don’t think about the issue ever again
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zhang hao
fights with hao are not fun
hot take but i think he’s the type of person to ghost you when you make him too upset
so whatever you’re fighting over, be it the dishes or something he said, once he gets angry enough he will just walk out and not talk to you for a while
depending on how upset he is it can be anywhere from less than a day to three or four days with no contact between the two of you
so yeah this is kind of a red flag but you don’t fight literally ever so it doesn’t happen enough for it to be a big issue
and his reasoning for ghosting you is that he doesn’t want to say something he doesn’t mean and/or can’t come back from
hao knows he’s the type of person to just say something wildly untrue when he’s mad and his worst fear is doing that to you
he returns from his mental retreat so apologetically, even if you end up thinking you were more in the wrong
will bring you an apology gift (usually it’s flowers or some sort of sweet treat) and always has some big long speech prepared
you also apologize if you feel it’s warranted (which is almost every time)
things will go back to normal in max two weeks
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hanbin
fights with hanbin are big and emotional
like super emotional
this man is so in love with you that you being the source of any negative emotions is really hard for him to stomach
and it’s likely that, for the course of your entire relationship, you’ll fight maybe once or twice at most
so the fight you have is big and possibly the result of a lot of pent-up emotions that built up over a long period of time
you’re the one to walk out, and he’s full-blown sobbing by the time that happens
he feels miserable for the next couple of days
you two don’t ghost each other but it’s minimal contact and you can barely look at one another without crying lol
hanbin will probably end up staying elsewhere and you’ll stay home, drowning your sorrows in ice cream while you cry on the phone with your friends
when you’re both sound enough to work it out, you two just kinda cry apologies at each other
when the time comes for you to actually talk it out, it’s pretty easy and you’re left wondering what exactly the fight was over in the first place
hanbin will kiss every single part of you after the wound is patched up
and then he’s attached to you for the next couple of days lol
things go back to normal in maybe three-ish weeks? like that’s when he stops being super clingy and you go back to regularly scheduled programming
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matthew
fights with matthew are small
he seems like the type of guy to be able to talk out big issues without it blowing out of proportion
so any larger problems the two of you are like … worked out via controlled and calm conversation
then you will have a blowout argument over you losing one of the sweatshirts you took without asking (your mom took it to the dry cleaners and didn’t tell you)
your arguments are petty and it’s a lot of really fake words thrown back and forth
so it’s not like one of you is being unnecessarily mean to the other, it’s from both of you
you don’t talk for a couple of days (also mutual) and then your mom’s dry cleaning shows up with the sweatshirt in tow
you send him a picture of it with some tear stains on it and he’s like … are you crying
then he’ll show up at your house not even thinking about the sweatshirt, just the fact that he doesn’t like it when you cry
will do anything to get you to stop crying
apologizes 18 times and puts on the tear-stained sweatshirt while going “wow, it’s so clean!” in hopes that you’ll at least laugh
after he fixes the crying situation you apologize too and suddenly it’s like it never happened
things go back to normal in a week
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taerae
fights with taerae are quiet
tbh i just think his anger/sadness/any negative emotion is quiet
there’s no yelling, no crying, no insults, no nothing
the argument itself will be a bunch of isolated statements paired with scoffs, rubbing your tumbles, and feeling exasperated
neither of you leaves to cool off, and you just sit in different rooms after the fact
the next day might be a bit awkward and taerae will be somewhat cold towards you (and it would be a lie to say you don’t reciprocate the same exact energy)
but at some point during the day, while you’re sulking and laying down in bed, taerae will come in and lay down next to you
starts off by saying sorry and then you talk things out while just … laying there
he’s neither the type of person to take all the blame nor the type of person to shove all the blame onto you
like you could be entirely at fault but he will distribute responsibility equally between the two of you
he’s just the type of guy who really does not like arguing so he will do whatever he can to fix it quickly
after you’re done talking you’ll go on a long drive together
it’s aimless and quiet, but he holds your hand the whole time :)
things go back to normal within 3 days
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ricky
i think fights with ricky are turbulent
you never really know the direction they’re going to go in you know
you don’t necessarily fight often but it’s not like you never fight, either
i think it’s a healthy amount of bickering
somewhat like an old couple LOL
if you have a big argument, though, it’s pretty much the least fun you’ve ever had in your whole entire life
ricky isn’t the type of guy to yell and cry but he’s the type of guy to give you a look that makes you feel like crying
i also think he’d struggle to take everything you’re saying seriously so he might laugh in exasperation from time to time
which obviously makes you angrier
i think if you end up crying, though, ricky will have like a crazy moment of clarity where he’s like … oh shit
cue some crazy introspection
you’ll run off somewhere else in the house and he’ll just sit on the couch and think
he’s practically taking notes on the entire thing, and studying what he thinks was the most out-of-pocket for him to say and what he needs to apologize for
after he’s gathered his thoughts he’ll seek you out and ask if you’re okay sitting down and talking with him
and he will wait however long he needs to if you say no
he essentially says everything he feels necessary, ends it off with an apology and kisses your hand
then it’s over
things go back to normal within the day
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gyuvin
you bicker with gyuvin a lot and 99.9% of the time it’s silly and super unserious
that’s the type of couple you are yk
so your fights are born out of your little, unserious arguments actually going a little bit too far, and they last soooo long
and most of it happens in front of your friends which isn’t nice either
it starts out very small, with little jabs at one another
keeps amping up for the rest of the night, and once you both leave whatever hangout you were at, all your friends are like … they’re gonna fight guys get ready
they’re right
you argue the entire way home and when he drops you off he doesn’t even give you a good night kiss, which makes things even worse
you continue arguing over text and into the next few days all while acting like everything is fine
meanwhile, you’re texting your friends (separately) like can you believe that he just said that? can you believe he’s pulling this shit?
finally they lock you two in a room and tell you to figure it out because your arguing is annoying
you will painstakingly be like “okay maybe i went too far” and he essentially does the exact same thing
and then he apologizes for not giving you a good night kiss that one time and everything is fine
things go back to normal in like 2 weeks but just keep in mind for the entire 2 weeks you were just being passive-aggressive with each other
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gunwook
arguments with gunwook are born out of stress and aren’t really arguments
he’s a busy guy who’s doing a lot of things and sometimes he bites off more than he can chew
which isn’t nice because he refuses to be like “hey i might have to lay off boyfriend duties for a couple of days so i can work through all these commitments i made without thinking” because he thinks he’ll be a bad boyfriend because of it
essentially you’re not even aware he’s getting upset with you until the stress bubbles over one day
he accidentally tells you to leave him alone and let him work which makes you sad :(
but you do because you pretty much understand that he’s overwhelmed
but you’re still upset so you don’t just forgive him and move on because … idk … if he talked to you it wouldn’t have happened in the first place
is this petty … kind of yes but if you want things to change you need to put your foot down!!!
so you spend the next two or three days missing your boyfriend a miserable amount before he texts you saying “can we talk”
of course you can
you practically sprint to his house
and you talk!! and he apologizes for being mean to you while promising it won’t happen again
and gunwook learns from his actions so it really doesn’t happen again
things go back to normal in 3-4 days
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thank you for reading !
tags: @happysmileybee @wtfhyuck
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