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onlyseokmins · 1 year

Text

needy • j.w.w.

Pairing: jeon wonwoo x afab!reader

Genres: smut (minors dni!), established relationship!au

Warnings: swearing, teasing, dirty talk, unrealistic amt of orgasms heh, male masturbation, mentions of car sex, fingering (fem. receiving), phone sex but not like you think, messy oral (fem. receiving), safe sex 🫡, wonu's a bit of a perv tbh and reader loves puts up w/ it, mentions of children but not like really lmao, mentions of (cock)roaches, wonu in glasses and needy = double kill imho, ft. some of the boys being intrusive tbh haha, POSSESSION, and a good amt of noisy sex hahah lmk if i missed anything!

WC: 4.9k

A/N: well it's finally my first wonu fic :3 after hoarding so many in the drafts bc I always feel like I can't write him too well, I had to take the plunge since it's a dear request from my lovely @wonuhour ❤️ I really hope you enjoy this 🤞🏼 no taglist as this is a request so I hope y'all read this but sending some love to my fav wonwoorideul @wonwussy bc she said I could tag her mwah. I think I held my head 5 times while editing this haha...

It's late when you step out into the night's cool air, a sigh of relief at finally being freed from the corporate building where you work. Pulling out your phone from the bag slung across your shoulder, your face lights up just like the screen when you focus on two distinct notifications on it.

1 missed call — hubby ♡

1 new voicemail — hubby ♡

"Hey, baby. You're probably dealing with those idiots right now but by the time you're listening to this, you should be on your way back home to me."

Wonwoo's deep voice is always so soothing, filling your body with inexplicably warm, fuzzy feelings that trail from the top of your head to the tips of your toes. The knowledge that he pays attention to even the minute details you think he might not care about in trivial, daily conversations or complaints makes your heart flutter with joy.

Your husband has always had that effect on you. He's aware you aren't able to pick up and it's not like he expects you to do so. Wonwoo simply leaves a voice message, knowing it will provide you comfort on your walk to the car and subsequent drive home until you can seek real solace in his embrace.

And maybe — just maybe — he calls to simply hear your pretty voice that plays on the answering machine because he misses you during your long shift. The embarrassed giggle when you mess up and stumble across your words during the recording. Never bothering to go back to change or fix it because it makes the corners of Wonwoo's mouth perk up, breaking his usual stoic expression. At least according to what Mingyu's let slip.

Which is hilarious in and of itself because your husband is anything but poker face when in your presence. His friends tease, saying he's become a different man because of you — following you around and acting like a lovesick puppy rather than his normal, self-acclaimed dignified cat persona. But you deny it. He's always been the same person with you and maybe that's just because you're meant to be.

"Be safe on your way home. Remember to lock the doors when you're inside, although I know you will 'cause how many times have you accidentally locked me out when you've beat me back to the car first?" He lets out a strangely breathy laugh, one that you mimic in fondness at the past memory and simply of him, doing exactly as he says as you shut the driver seat's door. "Miss you so, so much today. Even more than usual, baby. 'specially that sweet pussy of yours."

Nothing — not even Mingyu's weird trait of being privy and somehow knowing or aware of way too much in your relationship — could have prepared you for those words. You're extremely grateful you're inside your car right now. Not fearing other people overhearing but because you would've collapsed right on the sidewalk in public. Victim to your husband's seductive desperation.

"Can't stop thinking 'bout it. How pretty it looks, how good you taste, how perfect you always feel wrapped around me."

Your head falls back against the headrest, the hand holding your phone drops onto your thigh, and your mouth and eyes widen together in awe. The wireless buds fit snugly inside your ears allow you to pick up on the underlying slick sounds as he speaks. Your mouth waters, a sweep of electrifying energy causing the hairs on your arms to raise.

Fuck. He's stroking that gorgeous thick cock of his. Because he yearns so much for you.

"'round my fingers, my dick, my tongue… so soft and wet and tight… mhm, oh god — what a messy little thing. And your lips too, wanna kiss you so bad. For hours, non-stop."

People like to make assumptions about your relationship. Things like how Wonwoo must be the calm and collected one, the domineering and composed person within your dynamics. It's annoying but you can't really blame them — it's human nature after all. While they aren't entirely wrong, it's not like they're right either.

On the occasions when your husband's lust for you outweighs his level-headedness, he loses all reason. Not above begging, whining, or babbling nonsense, his neediness becomes next level. You're so caught up in thinking about the exact man you're supposed to be listening to, you realize you've nearly missed most of the words he's spouting in his gravelly voice. You rewind the playback.

"… to stop thinkin' 'bout it or I'll want you even more. Wanna ruin you. Destroy you. Worship you. Ah… you're in your car, aren't you love? Please tell me you are, 'member when I slipped a finger inside last week on our way home from the mall? Then two. Then three. Had to make sure my pretty baby's pussy was stuffed nice and full. It's what you deserve, after all."

His lazy drawl and filthy words make your thighs clench. He knows it too. "Bet you're squeezing those luscious legs of yours together… ah, what I wouldn't give to have them around me instead…" A laugh again, almost a wheeze, like the air's being sucked out of his lungs at the thought. Many thoughts. "Made such a mess that day… hngh, almost wrecked the car over how wrecked you were, baby."

You glance at the empty passenger seat out of the corner of your eye. Almost shamefully, like a curious nun side-eyes a sinner sitting in church. Wonwoo's skillful and long, bony fingers buried inside your cunt — to no surprise — had you a writhing mess, an insane orgasm ripped from your body. You were afraid the upholstery was ruined because of it, the car still smelling like sex and preventing you from offering your sulky neighbor Seungcheol a lift this week.

"Bastard," you mutter affectionately and roll your eyes at your next statement, pretending as if he can hear you. "Like you weren't just as wrecked that I had to suck you off as soon as we parked and then rushed inside since you didn't wanna cum in my mouth."

"Ahhhhh, shoot…!"

As if he can hear your words, a particularly loud moan followed by a string of curses falls out of your husband's mouth. You are just able to hear the sped up sounds of him rutting more urgently against his palm. The visual of his large hands looking much smaller when wrapped around his huge cock floods your mind, wondering if he's tightened his grasp to better resemble it to drilling deep inside of your warmth instead of his hand. Eyebrows creasing together, biting down on his bottom lip before his mouth opens again in another moan that fills your ears at the right time.

The familiar creak of his home office chair causes a devious smirk to grace your face. He hasn't realized in his lust-driven state that he'd given away how desperate he really was to be fucking into his fist between freelance projects. More than likely frustrated when something wasn't encoding right after hours of staring at the screen but it was most probable that Wonwoo was simply down bad.

Achingly missing his partner when you weren't around to rub his shoulders, bring him some tea, lighten up the mood with a bad joke, or even try and help point out a possible error with a fresh set of eyes. Even nicer, sit on his lap all pretty to keep his cock all warm and coated in wetness or get on your knees beneath his desk and try to keep quiet while you take him down your throat.

You were always a bit on the noisy side. Even now, you can't help but let out a whimper at how uncomfortable your nipples feel poking against your bra. Dampening your panties, poor clit already puffy and throbbing unstimulated.

The Wonwoo in your imagination has his head thrown back, throat presented prettily that you wish you could actually mark up. In-tune with what he sounds like when he's about to come undone, you listen intently to your husband's stifled groans and harsh pants in anticipation. Holding your breath, hoping he's so lost in bliss that he won't leave you hanging.

Like a lifeline, a muttered "fuck, baby," as if he's really right there with you in the car as his deep moan fills your ears just like it does in-person. Imaginary Wonwoo drops his head back down and the hungry look in his dark brown eyes causes your hips to involuntarily twitch, thighs trembling. Shockingly, you don't orgasm from that alone but you sure as hell were on the brink of doing so.

For a finale, your husband stays on the line while he catches his breath and your dirty mind wanders once more. Hard not to when you hear the wet sounds of his hand still rubbing his cock. A whimper of "hm, just like that," and a hiss because he's sensitive makes your head spin, cunt clenching sadly around nothing. A sob practically leaves your chest at the absolute want to milk him dry just as he wishes at that moment.

"Miss you so much. Need to eat out my precious baby. Mhm, I just know that sopping cunt is begging for me to lick it up…"

The scratch of tissues being pulled out of their holder is enough of an attempt to tug you out of the foggy cloud of lust. You lick your lips.

"… so come and hurry home safely, love."

You do — so close to cumming untouched — but you stave off the feeling, speeding home somehow without crashing. For all your car has put up with, you're honestly surprised it hasn't given out on you in revenge. But that's neither here nor there at the moment, stumbling out of the vehicle once you arrive home and scrambling faster than a marathon-runner to get inside.

It would be a lie to say you weren't disappointed with how quiet and dark it is. Quietly setting your bag down, you stand with your back pressed against the front door. Almost expecting your husband to appear out of the shadows and pounce on you.

It's happened before. You can proudly declare with your whole chest that you've fucked on every surface of this lovely little house purchased in the third year of your marriage.

Instead, something brushes against your leg and you bend down to pick up your daughter. She hangs pliantly as you gently wiggle her and whisper, "Where's your daddy?"

The cat replies with a plaintive meow. You smile when she twitches her tail, stalking off towards the direction of the living room. Wonwoo likes to teasingly say she takes after you with a distinct cat-titude despite the fact that he naturally happens to be the more dedicated caretaker between the two of you. Mingyu was always needlessly curious which one of you another cat would take after — or worse, if you had actual children.

That wouldn't happen for quite a bit, trailing behind the true ruler of the household and watching as she climbs up onto her expensive cat-tree to sulk. Wonwoo must not have given her enough attention today. Demonstrated by the angry way she squints toward the open doorway of the study illuminated by the blue glow of your husband's computer.

"Daddy's in rare form today," you try and explain, rubbing in between her ears and she purrs in response. "Don't worry, Mommy will go and fix him so he ultra dotes on you like the little princess he thinks you are."

You make a kissy face in her direction because she is a precious royalty. Then you're approaching the study where deep grunts and muttered curses can be heard among a furious clacking of keyboard keys.

"On your left — no, Mingyu… your other left!"

Crossing your arms, you pout. You'd be lying if gamer Wonwoo wasn't unfairly attractive — jawline clenched as he barks out orders into his headset, the computer screen graphics reflecting off his glasses. A stark contrast to the ratty hoodie and old man slippers he's wearing, angrily slapping his feet on the ground when Seokmin accidentally pressed the wrong button and self-destructs.

You're glad he's blowing off some steam and stress with the boys. Though you had once asked why he didn't bother watching porn on his expensive and impressive set-up. Flattered when he admitted that having you as the real deal beat anything he could ever try to search for.

Now you're not as sure, though. He seems rather content and preoccupied after working you all up with that damn voicemail of his. With a flounce, you turn to head to the shower as your husband rages over Chan mistakenly shooting at the wrong team. Meeting a feline gaze on the way to the bathroom that shares your same sentiment of disdain.

Sticky, ruined panties cause a glare and another pout to adorn your face once the water is turned on to heat up. One Wonwoo might find cute. If he could see it. You nearly jump out of your skin when there's a knock on the door, so soft it almost sounds like a bump.

A certain kitty often bangs against doors just to startle her owners but she's also good at opening them too. When it remains shut and you hear a low call of your name rather than spooky silence, a pleading meow, or it flying open, you let out a breath of relief. Trying not to appear too eager, you crack the door open just enough to narrow one eye at your husband.

"Hi, baby."

"Hey."

Long gone is his cozy hoodie, though his black sweatpants remain on. Displaying lean, upper body muscles to ogle and pert nipples that could poke you in the eyeball with how near he is. Pushing up his glasses, he raises his eyebrows when you don't make an effort to move.

"You don't normally knock."

"I wasn't sure if it was you or our little mischief maker in here."

"Uh-huh, and who says I'm not mischievous as well?" You turn around but leave the door ajar and he takes that as an invitation to come in.

"No one's ever said you weren't," Wonwoo reassures but frowns, "no welcome home kiss?"

"You know, little miss mischief maker seemed pretty miffed, did daddy not pay enough attention to her today? That's unlike you."

"Mhm, was busier than I thought today. Had a lot on my mind… work and all that. Absolutely drowning in it."

"Is that so? She seems pretty upset so be sure you make it up to her."

It's like a cat-and-mouse game, though who's who is really the question. Maybe you're both cats in a stand-off. You know Wonwoo would never not truly attend to your beloved pet. You fight back a smirk, able to feel his heated gaze trail down your back and focus on your ass that you jut out on purpose to check the water temperature. A rush of fresh arousal surges through your system.

"Yeah?" Your husband's hand shoots out past yours to turn the shower off, ignoring your protest. "I think I upset another kitten too." Spinning you around so his damp thumb can pull at your bottom lip as you flutter your eyelashes at him.

"I don't know what you're talking about. I'm not a cat. And I'm most certainly not upset."

He pecks at your lips almost condescendingly. "Sure, baby. You shouldn't be, you know, with the nice present I left for your pleasure after work."

You let out an elated sigh as he holds your face still and peppers kisses all over, trailing down to focus on your neck so you can speak. "If that's your idea of a nice gift, I'd hate to see what a bad one is."

"You didn't like it?" Somehow Wonwoo's eyes manage to sparkle when he looks up at you with a whine, pausing his kisses down the valley between your breasts. His other hand sneakily reaches in between your legs and he smiles against your skin. "Or did you like it too much? Don't think I've ever gotten you a bad gift, baby."

Slender fingers play with your messy wetness, sliding back and forth languidly without rush. You struggle to clear your mind to ask with sarcasm, "Wh-what about that st-stupid cockroach plushie?"

"It was cute. Just like you."

"That's it, I'm getting a shower."

"I don't think so." Wonwoo's free hand flies to splay out on your back, preventing you from moving and pressing your body even closer to his.

You purse your lips, brown eyes locking in on them immediately. "You think I'm on the same level as cockroaches."

"Only like the super cute, not-real ones."

"…We're filing for divorce right after I clean up."

"Mhm, but I'm not done with you yet so it'd be a waste of water. Besides, you hate showering together."

You can't help but grind down against his stationary palm, wishing he'd just slip a finger inside. "Because… no one's getting clean… if you're in there with me."

"Exactly," he's entranced by how much of your arousal continues to coat his hand. Cock twitching with the ache to be where his fingers are instead. "You know the drill, baby. Besides, I'm aware of how much you like it when I'm wearing my glasses."

"Wonwoo…"

He hushes your moan with a smirk and another kiss to your irresistible lips. "Yeah, lovely. It's okay, I'll give you what you want. And what I want too."

Surely, you would've bashed your head open on the tile floors had it not been for the support of the countertop you'd braced your palm on. Legs as shaky as a newborn fawn with how long you've been buzzing with desire. Especially when your husband backs away to withdraw his hand, ravenously slurping up your essence with a blissed out face. An appreciative, low grunt as he licked his fingers clean, dark gaze not straying away from your naked body before him.

"Shouldn't have done the laundry, silly baby. How else am I supposed to control myself without any sort of relief to get me through the day?"

Your jaw drops. "Pervert!"

"Know you like it." He ignores the light slap to his shoulder that bears no malice, finding zero resistance when he tugs you by the hand to drag you into the bedroom. "You love when I'm this desperate for you. Can't get anything done, can't think of anything else… all you, you, and you. And this greedy pussy."

Your back's resting on the mattress before you can blink. Wonwoo sits and parts your legs, taking in the delectable sight of your puffy cunt that spreads open to seep more arousal. Asking to be taken care of and filled.

"Just look at it, how could I not desire it every moment of the day?" A kiss is pressed against your left ankle. "When it's just as perfect as you?" Another to the side of your knee cap. "And so fuckin' addictive." He switches to the right to suck the skin on your thigh. "Absoluting begging to be filled up so prettily whenever I want."

It's a mix between a scream and groan of frustration that leaves your throat when your husband lightly smooches right above your hip crease before licking the salt off your skin. He's so close to where you want him and he grins at your patient façade slowly slipping. His tongue pokes out, just grazing the left side of your pussy.

"Wonwoo…!"

He is rarely this talkative, either he truly missed you or this is a new form of torture.

A pointer finger taps your pubic bone and drags downward, lifting away before it hits your clit. "And all mine," he growls out before devouring your cunt like you want.

Your husband eats you out like a starved man. Ravenous in all the best ways. Your hips can't help but jerk in time with the movements of his tongue lapping at your inner walls and cleaning up the gracious amounts of slick you've created. Whines leaving your mouth at how good it feels, fingers anxiously threading through his curls and making them even messier. Your legs wrap around his neck as you somehow bring his head even closer to drown inside your scent, your taste, and your wet heat.

Wonwoo revels in it.

Normally, he would have more control. More strictness, more fortitude. But he's so far gone, appreciative growls that could rival the best-selling vibrator on the market shake you to your very core. The frames of his glasses dig into your thighs but you don't even feel them with the intense amount of pleasure from Wonwoo's thumb playing with your clit. His nose occasionally adds to the mind-dumbing feeling by nuzzling against it when he shakes his head with vigor.

You have no choice but to hurdle towards a fast orgasm like a dam breaking. Unintentionally locking his neck in a position that might've snapped it if his face wasn't pressed so close and into your spasming hole. Screaming his name as you tear at hair strands a bit too viciously. Wonwoo takes it all in stride, too obsessed with prolonging that delightful peak of yours to care.

Only when your legs loosen up does he back away, pride filling his chest as he takes in your shaking form. Pushing up foggy lenses, he licks his lips slowly. The damp spot shining on his chin and nose is enough of a damning visual — one that's real and touchable, not of your imagination this time — for a tiny tremor to run through your thighs again.

Wonwoo's sore jaw drops. "Baby, did you… did you just cum again?" The cool air away from your cunt clears his vision so he can marvel at the soiled wet patch on your shared blankets. A mumbled curse leaves his mouth.

You're a vision. Strewn across the bed, skin shining with sweat while your disheveled husband is the epitome of sex. He cracks his neck, stretching his jaw.

Thinking.

Contemplating.

"Just from that? Hah, what am I going to do with you?"

"Fuck me," you moan and bring your legs that feel like Jello up to your chest. Squeezing your breasts between your thighs, you pout at him and flutter your lashes. A perfect look for a vixen, pleading yet sultry. "Please."

"Shit… can't tell if you're being bad or good. Augh, the things you do to me."

"'m good, s'good for you. Want you s'bad."

Blabbering, you watch through bleary eyes at the rapid speed he tears off his sweatpants and manage to spread your legs even farther with how numb they feel when he climbs over top of you. Lenses flash in the light at the same time as a foil wrapper before he rips it, hissing in sensitivity to slide the condom on. You're thrilled when the heavy tip of his cock slaps against your prepped pussy, ready for him to lose all rationale. You're sorely disappointed to find out your husband has a pending question for you.

"Then why didn't you greet me when you came home? Hm? Pretty baby sulking in the bathroom 'cause I was gaming with the boys?"

"Ahhh…" you shake your head urgently, nails lightly scratching his biceps, and hips lifting off the bed in a sly effort to slip his dick inside. "No…"

Wonwoo clicks his tongue, halting your movements. "No? I need complete answers, love."

You need him to lose control. Fighting back a sob, you try to shake off your fucked-out state and reply to him properly. "Wanted to shower 'nd then come in no panties, sit… on your lap."

"Yeah? Pretty baby was gonna keep me nice and warm in that snug pussy? Like we always do?"

"Mhm," tears are streaming down your cheeks at this point, "maybe… maybe suck you off."

"Oh, wanted to choke on my cock so all those losers could hear those greedy gags of yours?"

All you can do is nod deliriously because his thick length is hot and hard. Laying outside your lower stomach exactly like it would if it was buried within you.

Wonwoo snarls. "I think the fuck not. Absolutely not. Only I'm allowed to hear your pretty noises. Only me." He huffs, easing the tip inside finally, grunting at how you're already clamping around him like a vice. "You're made for me. All mine. No one else."

The last three syllables are punctuated by experimental, shallow thrusts to open you up for him. Your tongues tangle together as he continues to rock his hips forward, splitting you open until your pelvises kiss.

"That's it, baby. That's the sweet cunt I've been waiting for all day, dreaming of. There it is, shit! Whose pussy does this belong to?"

"Yours… hgnh, all yours… yours, yours yours…!"

"That's right, that's fuckin' right."

His glasses slide down the bridge of his nose but are pushed up by your own nose when you pull him by the neck to shut him up. Barely kissing anymore, it's an open-mouthed entanglement of debauchery. Neither of your moans get any quieter, especially when he rasps in your ear to make as much noise as possible because no one's around to listen.

Wonwoo's thrusts are sharp when he does pull out a little bit. But he doesn't want to leave your warmth for even one moment, mainly grinding as deep as he can into your fluttering hole and stimulating your clit. His hands tug at your nipples, alternating between squishing and squeezing at your tender breasts. Your legs splay compliantly out at the side, letting your husband use you to his content because that's what both of your goals tonight were.

You're shamelessly screaming when his tip touches that bundle of nerves and you're afraid you might actually black out when he continues to hit it with scary precision.

"Gonna… be the death… of me."

Peering at you over his glasses, he smirks at your weak complaint. "Says the one… that's gonna snap off my dick… shit, lovey, stop tightening up so much!"

"Can't help it, feels so good."

"I know, baby," he pants out and kisses your cheek, "I know so just bare with me a bit more." Relief floods him momentarily when your gummy walls loosen their iron grip around his cock. "That's it."

Pulling out of your squelching pussy before you can clamp around him again with only the head wrapped around so prettily by your puffy lips, he has to pause to admire it. Then he slams inside so deep that you can't help but hit that intense climax while he's still stuffing the rest of his length back in.

He coos in his low voice, coaxing you through it with an almost cruel swivel of his hips. "You can give me one more, right? I know you can, you're so good for me."

You really don't know if you could but the minute you lock eyes with him, the feral need and want in them that takes your breath away is enough. It's tinier than all the ones prior but it pleases a fucked out Wonwoo. In seconds, he's spilling his seed into the condom, still nestled within your spasming walls.

"There it is, cream on my cock, love. Yeah, there we go… fuck, baby..." he pants, a telltale sign, "that's it... so perfect."

To say you're exhausted would be an understatement. You might've actually passed out because when you come to, your husband has already wiped you down and pulled the blankets over your naked body. You weren't cold at all before but now that the tidal wave of lust has ebbed away, a chill is settling in. Your cat has snuck into the bedroom too, curled up and purring at the end of the bed on top of the stuffed cockroach plushie.

"Wonwoo?"

"Right here, love." He's laying on top of the covers and wearing his sweats again. His glasses are on the nightstand, head propped up on one hand to stare affectionately at you. "Feel okay?"

"Yeah but I'm glad I'm off for the rest of the week. You fucked the life out of me."

A smug grin graces his face. "Yeah I know. Which is why I don't understand why you just didn't wait to do laundry tomorrow or something."

"Not this again. How old are you?"

"Old enough to know what will prevent me from blowing out your back all the time." He's ready to continue with a good defense but pauses at the smile you're trying to hide. "Wait… did you do that on purpose?" When you don't reply, he groans your name. "You did, didn't you?"

"We all have our little tricks," a finger traces down his exposed pecs, "although I didn't expect such a needy voicemail on my way home, it turned out just as planned."

He halts your wrist when you start journeying down his abs. "Not in front of the child, please."

"I'm too tired to do anything scandalous," you laugh and flip your aching body over to the other side. "Wake me up in a half hour so I can shower. Alone."

"I can't believe I was set up." Disbelief drips from his tone as he sets a timer on his phone but he reaches over you to turn off the light, pressing a kiss to your ear. "Well-played though. You have a lot of free time to make up for your misbehavior, don't you baby?"

"Mhm-hm."

Wonwoo can't see the second victorious smile hidden in the darkness. Really. You're just too smart, knowing your husband so well to get what you want.

Mingyu would be proud. And grossed out.

onlyseokmins: February 2023 ©

#ez.creates #svt smut #seventeen smut #kpop smut #Smut #jeon wonwoo smut #wonwoo smut #Svthub #luana 🌙#ez.mootz #I misspelled my url in the header at first it was so funny 💀 onlyseokins #1k 🌟#svt.smut

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thedemonofcat · 4 days

Text

Honestly, Geralt wasn't actively seeking Djinn, but somehow one appeared in the lake.

However, this time, Geralt wasn't the one to gain control. It was Roach, and the Djinn could sense the horse's desires to grant wishes.

The initial wish materialized as an abundance of apples.

The subsequent wish caught Geralt off guard. Roach wished for Jaskier's presence, whom Geralt hadn't seen since the mountain, yet there he was, magically summoned.

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captain-mj · 1 year

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Western!AU where Roach is pretending to be a woman for whatever reason and his coach gets robbed, so he's trying to figure out how to get himself out of this situation

Cue cowboys!Soap and Ghost who come up to try to save him.

Smut or I will steal your pelvis

@callsign-bunnie I think you'll like this one

I read this wrong but I talked to the anon who sent it and they said its fine

Ghost saw the stagecoach rattling by. He and Soap were hiding on either side, waiting. They heard it had a mail order bride and a ton of jewelry on it, so they were planning to steal everything and let the lady escape on one of the horses. Easy money.

The horses were spooked by something, starting to slow down. They looked around and snorted. The stagecoach driver snapped at them to keep moving, but he had been startled as well.

Ghost aimed his gun and shot, knocking one of the wheels. The coach shuddered and quickly started to run off the rails. Soap shot the other front wheel and the horses started to try to run. It dragged the half broken carriage forward as the driver tried desperately to get them to settle. He pulled his gun and started to shoot in Ghost's general direction, missing by miles.

Soap raced out, quickly shooting at him. Blood splattered as the men fell, hitting the ground with a dull thump.

Ghost rushed the stagecoach, just in case someone of fighting ability was in there.

There was a rather small little lady. Well, compared to him at least. Her dress hit her ankles and she had a hat with a veil. She stood up, clearly frightened.

"Don't worry. I wouldn't do anything to ya. Just want the cargo you're carrying." He put the gun up, aiming at her. She didn't move instead freezing in one place. Her head cocked to one side.

Soap opened the door on his side and jumped in. She almost jumped out of her skin and twirled around, putting her back to Ghost. Ghost grabbed her and quickly started to tie her up.

Her head slammed against his nose, the only thing stopping it from breaking being the hard mask over his nose. She slammed her feet into Soap's chest and tried to escape.

"We're not even into women. Just stop fighting so we can grab our stuff and go." Soap said and grabbed her legs, flushing a little when he realized her skirts were flying up. He quickly tried to push them back down.

Ghost held her tighter and the hat fell off her head and subsequently the veil.

They both stopped fighting immediately, staring.

Roach stared back at them. His hair was rather short and though he had some feminine features, he was clearly a man. He blushed brightly.

Soap lifted his skirt to look up it and Roach kicked him hard.

"So... you're a lad. Are you one of those people that doesn't feel like a lad?"

Roach shook his head head, looking more flustered.

Ghost was real quiet as he took in Roach. He was gorgeous. "What's your name?"

Roach reached for his necklace and showed him the engraving.

"Gary Roach Sanderson. Prefer Roach?" Ghost asked him. When Roach nodded, Ghost frowned. "Don't want to talk, love?"

Roach flushed and drew an X over his mouth, a pretty much universal way of saying he's mute.

"He's really pretty." Soap smiled at Ghost, both of them apparently thinking the same thing.

Roach looked between them. Both of them had on masks of skulls and were bigger men. Between them, Roach seemed rather tiny. He flushed more and wiggled just a tiny bit. Ghost had his arms pinned to his chest and Soap still held him up by his legs.

"Just shake your head no and we'll leave, okay?" Ghost promised, gently tilting Roach's head to the side. Roach flushed more but didn't move. Soap slowly ran his fingers further up his legs, exposing more of Roach.

Johnny smiled. "Alright, love. I'm going to unlace your dress." He reached up and started to undo the laces. Ghost lifted his mask and started to kiss Roach's neck. Roach shivered against him and let out a tiny breath.

"Sensitive?" Ghost purred and set Roach down so they could get his dress off. He didn't let Roach turn around to see his face, instead making him face Soap. Soap didn't care that much because he took his mask off fully and stole a kiss from Roach.

Ghost tugged the little garter on Roach's thighs, enjoying the way he jumped against Soap's chest and blushed more. "What do you want to do to him first?"

Soap grinned at him and without saying a word, Soap ended up laying on the seats with Roach in his lap. His back to Soap's chest. Roach blushed more but relaxed against Soap as Ghost spread his legs.

Ghost settled in front of him, starting to smoke, the mask pulled up just enough for him to do so. Soap pushed his fingers into Roach, going slow. Roach shivered and mewled, hips rolling up.

Ghost smirked and kept eye contact with him as Soap worked him open.

Soap kissed along Roach's neck. "Pretty boy. Feel real tight." He let Roach take over as he sat up and slid down on Soap's cock. He bit his own lip and flushed, tensing with his thighs shaking.

Roach rode him slowly, panting softly. His face flushed more and he looked up at Ghost.

Ghost grabbed him by the back of his neck, moving closer. He kept eye contact with him as he leaned in. "There you go. Feel good?"

Roach nodded and kissed him. Neither closed their eyes. Ghost blew the cigarette smoke into his mouth, feeling Roach eagerly open his mouth for.

Soap thrust up into him with no warning and Roach opened his mouth like he was crying out, but no noise came out. He did it again and Roach's eyes rolled back. Roach pressed back and started to quickly bounce again, almost desperately.

"Right there. Think you did something." Ghost grinned at Soap who immediately did it again. Roach's back arched as he eagerly tried to get more. "Don't finish until he does."

Soap groaned. "You're a sadist."

"It's called planning. Want to show him a good time, don't we?"

Roach tried to replicate what Soap had done, but he was too nervous. Ghost could see him trying to shift his hips without letting Soap go too deep. He reached over and forced Roach down, apparently hitting his bitch button dead on.

"There, that better?" Soap purred in his ears.

Roach nodded frantically and pressed back against Soap. He started tearing up, both of his hands now gripping desperately onto Ghost. He desperately rocked on him, eyelashes fluttering as he clearly got close. Soap spit in his hand and stroked Roach.

Their prize managed a barely audible whine before coming all over himself, panting him. Soap grabbed his hips and started to thrust into him hard. He lasted a few more minutes, Roach shaking and starting to get hard again, before he came inside him, kissing his cheek.

"You want a turn?"

"Of course."

Roach whimpered a little as Soap picked him up and passed him over. Ghost laid Roach down and pushed his legs up and out. "Just relax. Not going to stop until you finish."

Thanks to the change in position, it was much easier for him to fuck Roach how he wanted. He was rough with him, grazing his teeth over Roach's shoulder.

A tiny whimper made him almost feral.

Roach wrapped his legs around and Soap's hand found its way into Ghost's hair, gently stroking it away from the mask on his face.

"What if we keep him?" Johnny smiled.

"I wouldn't mind. Want to go home with us sweetheart?" Simon purred.

Roach nodded immediately, head tilted back. He trembled under Ghost who quickly started to stroke him, wanting to finish first. Roach started to shake his head immediately, overstimulated but he quickly melted into it, shaking. His back arched as he whimpered.

Ghost was persistent and pretty soon, Roach couldn't help it. He came again, melting to a puddle in Ghost's arms. Ghost came in him, feeling it drip out of Roach.

Roach held on to his shoulders and buried his face in his arms. Ghost picked him up. "I'll carry him and you get the horse?"

"You got it Simon." Soap kissed him softly and ruffled Roach's hair before stepping away.

#Johnny Soap Mactavish #Simon Ghost Riley #Soap Cod #Ghost COD #Soapghost #Ghostsoap #Soap x Ghost #Ghost x Soap #Macriley #Call of Duty #Call Of Duty Modern Warfare 2 #ghost x roach #roach x ghost #roach x soap #soap x roach #ghost x soap x roach

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luci4theminorannoyance · 4 months

Note

PLEASE TF141 CLAMING YPU DOWN FROM A PANIC ATTACK

a/n: sure! :) I’ve been very busy these past few days because of holidays so sorry for not posting daily per usual (my tags won’t work for all my writing and idk why :(. )

Price:

-sits you down and holds you close, trying to calm you down by holding you close and moving you away from whatever was stressing you out

-holds you and comforts you for hours until you feel better

-drops about everything to help you because you’d probably do the same for him

Ghost:

-honestly doesn’t know how to help at first but Is really trying. Try’s to teach you breathing exercises too

-had to google how to help once-? Not his proudest moment

-makes you tea and tries to make you feel grounded and safe

gaz:

-subsequently also freaks out a tiny bit, rushing to comfort you and hold you and calm you down

-makes you tea and tries to talk you through it slowly to find out what even caused it to start

-try’s to help in any way he can to make you feel better

Roach:

-holds you and kisses you all over until you feel better, or just try’s to calm you down by taking you to someplace safer or less stressful

-will hold your hand and keep you close if it’s in public

-if he has time or you understand sign language, he’ll sign something to make you feel better and comfort you

-will sit down and listen to you for hours

soap:

-either has the most long, adoring, comforting conversation with you to calm you down, or picks you and and wraps you in a blanket and sits doing one of your favorite things to calm you down it

-tells you jokes or stories to try and distract you or to calm you down

-has generally a good way of handling things like this

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bug-oc · 4 days

Text

The "Bug OC Tournament" was an event which ran in the summer of [REDACTED], spanning multiple dimensions. It hosted a cast of thirty-five competitors, running for roughly two months before its shutdown. It is known for the rash of disappearances that occured during its running, which still remain unsolved.

The Bug OC Tournament was an exceptionally ambitious event, taking place across multiple dimensions with a selection of people from across time and space alike. Initially seeming innocent, it went the majority of its runtime seeming to show no hint of foul play - taking a sort of "popularity contest" type format whilst forbidding speaking ill of its competitors, it maintained an aura of good sportsmanship right up until the allegations against it came to light.

The incident was drawn to the authorities' attention during the final round, when "Gina" (Ant, offspring of Elizant II), a friend of the contestant "Lorlei" (Roach, Deadlands settlement), came to report that her teammate had not reported back after xeir loss. Though the multidimensional nature of the event would make a full assessment difficult, initial interrogation of friends and family of other contestants quickly revealed this to be a repeating pattern - with some reporting a high incidence of monsters around the tournament grounds, and one "Pola" (Spanish Moon Moth, Northern kingdom) recounting an encounter with an unknown bug in possession of her teammate's sachel.

The tournament would be shut down for investigation shortly before the counting of the votes for the final round, and Ant Kingdom investigators would quickly uncover evidence of foul play - of 35 contestants, 32 had already been reported missing at the time of the tournament's closure, with the only remaining contestants being the two finalists ("Marigold", Death's Head Hawk Moth, Ant Kingdom, and "Fuse", roach hailing from an unknown area) and a single bug who lost in Round 3 ("Mop", family refused to provide species or point of origin).

The disappearances had begun as early as Round One, with all bugs that had lost their respective rounds vanishing without a trace. Records would show no sign of what had happened to the wayward contestants, simply recording their losses and a subsequent note to send them back to their dimensions, but the rumors of increased monster activity would prove to hold fruit - a dense population of beasts would be uncovered during investigation, almost all of forms unknown to the composite dimensions and many displaying a concerning lack of fear at the sight of awakened bugs, often directly approaching or menacing investigators during the search.

The tournament itself would be shut down shortly afterwards, its former management retiring under allegations of malpractice. The venue and dimensional tech would be left unused, the previous disastrous events deterring anyone from attempting to pick them back up again for quite some time. Even a mass disappearance, however, couldn't stop such technology from going unused forever. After a while lying dormant, the former venue, along with its equipment, would be picked back up by one of the tournament's survivors...

[BUG OC 2: COMING SOON]

(Submissions open)

#bug fables #bug fables oc #bf oc tournament #announcement #THAT'S RIGHT. not dead yet.

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fanonical · 7 months

Text

homestuck beyond canon news!!!

James Roach (new creative director of Homestuck: Beyond Canon) just made a post on Patreon, here's a tl;dr

the Patreon is back up (launching November 1st)

Patreon rewards will be non-canon one shot comics, behind the scenes work, sketches, storboards, writer/artist update commentary, etc. maybe more

October will have two updates (one already launched, one still to come)

subsequent updates will probably be one a month for a while, but they'd like to eventually increase this number

work on the comic is being funded directly by the patreon. there is no "skim off the top"; the money just goes directly to the team, no third parties, no licensing fees, no publisher to pay etc

looks like new [S]s, Albums & Merch are all on the way

looks like some kind of return of classpects too

the extant bonus update stories will probably be concluded, but if/when they do that it will end up probably being in the main comic itself so things don't feel paywalled

#Homestuck #Homestuck Beyond Canon #HS BC #HSBC #Upd8

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slightlyrebelliouswriter23 · 2 years

Note

I never understood why Cardan called Jude a liar when she fell from the rafters. What do you think he meant?

in chapter 13 of QON, Roach is shot by a dart laced with Deathsweet. Cardan says his pocket is full of ragwort and that they should fly back to Elfhame at once.

but Jude refuses. she says that her sisters are waiting for her at the edge of the camp and if she does not go to them and tell them what happened, they will be caught. Cardan gives her his cloak, which is supposedly also a shield, and tells her not to stop until she gets to her sisters.

Cardan leaves with Roach in his arms, and then we get this lovely little tidbit from Jude:

"I said I was going straight to Vivi, but I lied. I head for the cave." (QON, chapter 13)

she uses the Roach's poisoning as a distraction to try and save the Ghost from captivity. this results in her running into Madoc, duelling him, getting stabbed, and barely making it back to Elfhame alive. then subsequently being mistaken for an assassin, who she said would be at the palace but wasn't, and being shot down.

when Jude falls from the rafters, Cardan is furious with her. not only because she lied to him, but because that lie resulted in a whole bunch of confusion, and not one, but two near-fatal events for her. he's basically saying, "you're a mess and if you had just done what i asked, what you said you would do, we wouldn't be in this predicament".

–Em 🖤🗡

more theories and analysis

#thanks for the ask!! 💜#tfota #jurdan #holly black #jude duarte #cardan greenbriar #queen of nothing #qon #tfota analysis #tfota meta #jurdannet #asked and answered #kestrinsupremacy

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beastofwant · 9 months

Text

!help a disabled trans fag stay afloat!

hi! I'm morgan (or en) & I'm a disabled trans faggot in its mid 20s. I've been trying to get on SSI my entire adult life, but it's not easy. it is in fact a nightmare! until that distant and uncertain point in the future, I generally only end up with $60 or less after all of my monthly expenses to provide for myself with food, hygienic supplies, & anything else I need. I have chronic pain & chronic fatigue that makes existing in general a whole lot harder (& subsequently more expensive for me) as well, and I just started the process to put my rent into escrow because my landlord has done nothing about the roach problem here. I'm going through a lot lol. all I can really ask is anything people have to spare in order to help me keep myself afloat until SSI finally comes through. literally anything helps bc how I am currently doing is not really tenable!

ko-fi is here

paypal is [email protected]

venmo is @/alumirust

#mutual aid #signal boost #donations #(head in hands) I deleted the original post of the other one and wanted to be more concise

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saltpepperbeard · 6 months

Text

Poison into Positivity: A List of What I Liked in OFMD S2

Hello hello everyone! Things have been a little rough around here. Even away from the more heated takes, I've still seen a few "down in the dumps" murmurs. To which, I'm giving y'all big hugs, but also offering up some little bits of warmth! I wanted to share quite a few bullets of the things I enjoyed about this season. Maybe it'll serve as a reminder, or maybe it'll just serve as a chaotic, silly little read as per usual PFFF.

But I invite you to read along, and even add some of your own points should you feel inclined! Also, this might not even be my full list; these are just the ones that came to me quickly/off the top of my head. Still, let's dive on down like a fantastical, dazzling goldfish, shall we?

All the callbacks/parallels. My goodness. When I tell you I'm a SLUT for metaphors/parallels/callbacks/etc etc. Seeing so many things and being able to just *Leonardo Dicaprio pointing meme.* I know people might not share that same opinion because some might view it to be excessive, but I personally LOVED being able to point at my screen and be like "oH EYYYYYYY!!!" Maybe because it makes for such immaculate gifset/meta material <3 SJKJDLHSK

The costuming and makeup. WHEN THEY TALKED AT ECCC ABOUT EVERYONE GETTING HOTTER, THEY WERE NOT KIDDING LMAO. EVERYONE LOOKED SO, SO GOOD. and listen, i am on my knees begging for them to give ed with his hair up back to us. i need Her back,,,ALSO, SOMETHING SOMETHING COMPLICATED EMOTIONS TOWARDS STEDE'S LATTER HALF LOOK, BUT ALSO...GOD DAMN, MR. DARBY,,,,,,

Speaking of Mr. Darby, the acting in this season. The ACTTTINNNGG. Everyone acted their ASSES off. Everyone put their entire piratussies into this season. Though, I'm PARTICULARLY impressed with Taika and Rhys, because again with their "oh we're comedians lol so idk drama can be Difficult Difficult Lemon Difficult." MMMM I THINK THE FUCK NOT, MY GUYS LMAO??? They both did SO well with all the drama and painful moments. The acting in episodes 2, 3, 6, and 7 in particular like...God. GOD!!!

I loved so many characters in this season, and I'll of course have to give two individual shoutouts to my two favorite new ladies, but man. LET'S GO FRENCHIE!!! ALWAYS A DELIGHT!!! FANG/KEVIN MY ABSOLUTE SWEETHEART. JIM SERVING ABSOLUTE FUCKING GENDER THIS SEASON. OLU OLU DARLING OLU. PETE NEVER MISSING WITH HIS ONELINERS. LUCIUS BEING SO THEATRICAL AHDJKSDK LIKE NATHAN PLEASE YOU KILL ME. ROACH MAKING ME LAUGH OUT LOUD NUMEROUS TIMES AS HE DOES. WEE JOHN AND HIS KNITTING AND DRAG!!! AND THEN OF COURSE MY DEARLY BELOVEDS, ED AND STEDE. I JUST LOVE THEMMMMM!!! But okay okay okay-

Zheng my beloved. I just love this badass pirate queen with her sweet little pigtails and her IMMACULATE LINE DELIVERIES SDHJKSKL. A lot of my favorite deliveries from the entire season came from her quite honestly. Please see: "Girl, how ARE you?" and "Hiiiiiii. I KNOWWW it's been a day" and "I've killed mediocre men. I've killed exceptional men. But you're the worst kind: a mediocre man who thinks he's exceptional."

AND ARCHIE MY BELOVED. She kills me because I remember seeing like, those ~*~audition tape whispers~*~ WAY back in the day, and subsequently thinking she was going to be quite a different character. Only for this silly goofy bubbly energetic darling to pop up and snag my heart. HER deliveries kill me also, like when she goes "Like...STEDE Stede?" and the whole "I was IN the fuckin' snake!" also hhngngngngnershkfhslkds tattooed ladies Hot :(

Speaking of which, the comedy. THE DELIVERIES. THE WAY I LAUGHED OUT LOUD NUMEROUS TIMES THROUGHOUT, EVEN WITH THE DEEP UNDERCURRENT OF DRAMA/ANGST. The whole bit where Stede is in hysterics over his cursed coat is just hsjkdhsklds; it will NEVER not make me wheeze. And then, like I said, almost EVERYTHING Pete says this season kills me; another thing that will never not make me laugh is "a doggie...?" weird little pirate show with weird little humor my beloved

The ROMANCE??? I genuinely was going into the season with the expectation of getting maybe like, one or two Gentlebeard kisses. Imagine my shock and utter delight when we ended up with FOUR, AS WELL AS AN INTIMATE SCENE, THE LETTER SCENES, AND THE LOVE PROFESSIONS. Like, one of them dropping a legitimate "I love you" felt like an unrealistic expectation--the HIGHEST dream tier really. And then wouldn't you know it. And that doesn't even account for all the rest of the couples either! The murder wives having their chaotic little moments of fucked up affection??? LUCIUS AND PETE GETTING ENGAGED AND THEN MARRIED??? HELLO??????

The sets! I know people have pointed out that the world felt a bit simplified this time around, due to budget restraints and what have you. But I still loved what they did with the world even with the various constraints. The market in episode 6 is a PARTICULAR favorite of mine; it's just so lush and colorful. I also love what they did with The Revenge during episode 6 too!

Also, this might be an unpopular opinion, but I really actually liked that they filmed on location. First of all, love that the Kiwis got to be right at home in Aotearoa. Love that they have an even more special connection to the show now. But second of all, I just like when scenery is...actually THERE? It feels way more TANGIBLE. Don't get me wrong; that hugeass wraparound screen that they use to film a lot of sets is a technological marvel. But I'm a sucker for practical.

The deeper and more complex dives into character motivations/trauma. Like, homie lol...When I tell you episodes 6 and 7 utterly set my brain alight in the best way possible. I was CHUGGING through thoughts. You know those gifs where someone is walking around and ranting/passionately talking,,, yeah. Yeah. Maybe because a lot of it "struck a chord" with me indeed, but I love love LOVE getting brain food like that.

Speaking of brain food, in PARTICULAR, the deeper dives into Ed's self-loathing and into Stede's troubles with confidence and masculinity. A lot of Stede's choices were fueled by those two things, and it was SO friggin fun to catch all of them, put them in a jar, and shake them around. I've seen a lot of people fearing his actions in the latter half were out of character, but to me, I don't see it that way. I just see a man who has been so spurned, so left behind, and SO deprived, a man who is stuck thinking he has to be someone else to mean something. And I think that plays a lot into even the EARLIEST developments we saw in season 1, so it was just so intriguing to watch everything messily play out.

THE INNKEEPER. THE INNKEEPER MY BELOVED. SO much about that episode absolutely has my heart. All the different developments, the stakes, the pacing, and the payoff at the end. Not to mention that I had a FEELING that mysterious figure in the trailers was Hornigold, so it was so SO validating to see him pop up PFFF. And also, all those dream/gravy basket sequences were so so good too. I don't know if it's the chemistry between Taika and Mark, or the deeper symbolism, or the lines that have become vocal stims for me SJKDLS (please see: ooOOoooO eddie eddie eddie...you're laying some heavy shit on me, bro), but man. MAN.

And this one gets its own bullet because of course it does: the fucking mermaid scene. Like, are we kidding. ARE WE KIDDING. THE ROMANCE OF IT ALL? THE FANTASTICAL-NESS INDEED?? THE WAY IT WAS ALL FUCKING PRACTICAL AND RHYS SWAM DOWN TO TAIKA AS A BEAUTIFUL LITTLE GOLDFISH AND THEY HAD TO THROW HEART EYES AT EACH OTHER UNDERWATER??? WHAT THE FUCK!!! And don't even get me started on Kate Bush lol. This Woman's Work might easily be one of my favorite songs, if not my FAVORITE song from the season. And man. Man. The whole meaning behind Ed seeing Stede as this beautiful, sparkly being, and not some hypermasculine/extraordinary thing. He fell in love with Stede for who Stede really is. And so I ADORE that acknowledgement.

Speaking of songs, the MUSIC!!! Absolute bangers all throughout. And I loved how there seemed to be even more intermixed within the episodes. Like God... "These are the kids..." 🗣️ HELLO MY LOVE I HEARD A KISS FROM YOU 🦗🦟🦗🦟🦗🦟 . And all the beautiful classic piano pieces and NINA SIMONE AND JUST HSJKDHSFJKLHSKD????

Okay, I've always had and STILL have complicated thoughts and opinions on Izzy, but man, seeing him interact with the Revenge Crew was really something. Seeing Stede's influence come over the lot of them like a warm blanket, extending its welcoming and familial hands...It was just lovely. I love seeing our little sea family care for each other so much. They've probably all hurt so so much in different ways, so to see them all being a collective heart is just so nice.

Speaking of which, the queerness of it all, the queer celebration of it all. The way the whole crew is just...a representation of queer people finding each other, and subsequently finding love and family in each other. Like, when the whole world wants to cast you out, you pull each other in. When no one else wants you, you take refuge in each other. And just...the joy, beauty, and wonder that can be found in that.

And speaking of which x2, the overall care that was put into the entire thing, the effort that was put into the entire thing. I know Max fucked us over with the budget, which subsequently fucked things like the intricacy, the amount of characters, and especially the pacing. But, I don't know; I personally could still tell everyone involved was trying so so hard to deliver for us. Based on the little details, the little callbacks, and the little moments that felt so catered to us, it just seemed so...gifted to us. Not to mention of course, the way they so deliberately chose to end on a hopeful note in case we never get a third season. They care about us. They've always cherished our excitement and passion, so it just...idk; it feels so special to have a bit more of an intimate connection like that. I've never been involved with a piece of media that so avidly SEES its audience, and celebrates along with us. So, despite everything, despite any sort of troubles, despite any sort of lows, that's a big part of what has me clutching all of this so closely to my chest. And I really hope they can still see that love, because I want nothing more than for them to see this beautiful story through.

Also, getting to enjoy this with everyone. Getting to ride the wave from the beginning of filming, all the way through the finale. Getting to see all the excitement, all the theories, all the art, all the fanfiction, all the gif sets, all the meta, and everything in between. It has carried me through some nastiness in my personal life, and has subsequently served as a very welcomed distraction. It's been such a pleasure getting to delight in this new content with you all, and I hope we get to do so into the future. <3

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wren-of-the-woods · 2 years

Note

For "Give me a twirl, honey." please 😌

Thank you very much for the prompt!! This was a delight to write. Many thanks to @wians for beta-ing! <3

Geraskier fluff, 2k. Also on AO3!

It all started at that damned ball.

Jaskier’s set was over. The other musicians were playing a slow, romantic song, as was appropriate for a duke and duchess’ anniversary. All the guests were finding their partners of choice and asking them to dance. Words like “darling,” “sweetheart,” “lovely,” and “sugarplum” floated around Jaskier as he slowly made his way through the crowd to Geralt.

A few weeks ago, he and Geralt finally confessed their feelings to each other. They had been trying to work out how to navigate this new phase of their relationship ever since. The evening was romantic. Suddenly, Jaskier wanted nothing more than to share as sappy a moment with Geralt as everyone else seemed to be having with their partners.

He found Geralt in the crowd and smiled brightly to mask his slight nerves. Geralt gave him a tiny, fond smile in return and handed him a glass of wine which Jaskier took with delight. After downing the glass, he gave Geralt a winning smile and gestured to the dance floor.

“Give me a twirl, honey?”

Geralt raised an eyebrow at him, frowning a little. “Honey?”

Jaskier shrugged, a little self-conscious. “I thought it sounded sweet. Your eyes look like honey sometimes.”

“No, they don’t.”

“How would you know that?”

“Honey is brown. My eyes are yellow.”

Jaskier gasped in mock outrage. “Honey isn’t brown!”

Geralt shrugged. “The name feels overused, anyway.”

“Fine.”

Geralt had been called far too many ugly names over the years. He deserved to be called sweet things by his lover. All Jaskier had to do was figure out the perfect endearment.

In other words: Project Pet Names was go.

~~~

“Hello, sweetling,” Jaskier said as he slid onto a log next to Geralt at their camp.

Geralt raised an eyebrow. Jaskier blushed a little. They fell into awkward silence.

~~~

“Pass me my notebook, darling,” Jaskier said in their shared room at the inn.

Geralt passed the notebook. He did not react to the name.

~~~

“There you are, my lovely!” Jaskier shouted from across a marketplace.

Geralt didn’t even notice he was being addressed.

“How on earth did you not realize I was talking to you?” Jaskier groused later.

“You call everyone things like that. It could have been a barmaid you had just met, for all I knew. Of course I didn’t know you were talking to me.”

Jaskier sighed, but he saw Geralt’s point.

This was going nowhere. His attempts so far were an obvious failure. He was starting to feel rather desperate.

He would just have to be more creative.

~~~

"Hey, Ger-bear!"

Geralt stared at him, unimpressed.

~~~

“How are you, sweet cheeks?”

Geralt’s stare was more bewildered this time. Jaskier wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or not.

~~~

"What do you think, honey bunny?”

“Shut the fuck up.”

~~~

“Hello, my sweet witcher-muffin!”

“This is getting ridiculous.”

“I take it I shouldn’t try ‘my little cabbage,’ then?”

“Absolutely not.”

“How about snooky ookums?”

“I will leave you on this roadside and never return.”

“Yeah, yeah. I love you too.”

Geralt flicked his nose hard, and Jaskier lost the train of their conversation while sputtering loudly and subsequently having to catch up to Roach.

~~~

"I've been trying to think of things he likes," Jaskier explained miserably to the vaguely sympathetic barmaid while Geralt was off on a hunt. "Unfortunately, half of it has to do with monster hunting or other useless things and the other half I've already tried."

"What's his favorite monster?" asked the barmaid absently. "You could use that."

"I might try."

~~~

"Well, if it isn't my very favorite-easily lopped head of a drowner for which the alderman is paying extra!"

Geralt stared at him. "What?"

"Um. Never mind."

~~~

Things shifted when they visited Kaer Morhen. Jaskier, obviously, was not as comfortable experimenting in front of Geralt’s family (especially Lambert) as he was in towns they were passing through. Despite the difficulties, though, he refused to pause his project. He listened intently to how Geralt’s family referred to him, just in case it revealed anything useful. For the most part, it was only his name, “Wolf,” and the occasional affectionate insult. Then, one evening, something extremely interesting occurred.

Geralt had been complaining about a noble and his knights that he had encountered that year. Lambert got that mischievous glint in his eyes that almost always meant trouble.

“That’s rich coming from you, Geralt Roger Eric—”

Geralt turned on Lambert with a deadly glare. The dinner knife in his hand suddenly seemed much more threatening. “If you finish that sentence, you will regret it.”

Lambert raised his hands in mock surrender, though he did not look at all repentant. The conversation moved on. Jaskier did not forget.

That night, after he and Geralt had returned to their shared room, he finally had the chance to corner Geralt and ask.

“What was that about?”

Geralt winced, looking rather trapped. “I don’t know what you mean.”

Jaskier raised an eyebrow. “Geralt Roger Eric?”

Geralt grimaced. “It doesn’t matter. It was a long time ago.”

“I should hope you know me well enough to realize that I am not going to let this go until you tell me.”

Geralt was silent for a long moment, then sighed, defeated. “It was the name I first wanted to use on the Path.”

Jaskier’s eyes widened. “Geralt Roger Eric?”

Geralt closed his eyes. His next words were strained. “It was Geralt Roger Eric du Haute-Bellegarde.”

Jaskier stared at him for a long moment in silence. Geralt refused to meet his eyes.

“What?” Jaskier managed.

“I thought it sounded knightly,” mumbled Geralt.

“Oh! Well, I suppose it does. Why didn’t you use it?”

“Vesemir told me it was too ridiculous.”

“Oh,” Jaskier said again, thoughtful. “Did you agree?”

“I didn’t see it at the time, but I agree now.”

Jaskier frowned. “So at the time, you still wanted to use the name.”

“I was young. I didn’t know better.”

“That’s not the point! The point is that they didn’t let you!”

Geralt frowned at him. “Why are you upset about this?”

“You chose a name and were refused. They took that from you. You deserve the chance to choose something so important as a name, after all the choices you didn’t get to make.”

“It was a stupid name, Jaskier.”

“Maybe, but you deserved to be stupid.”

“Stupidity gets witchers killed.”

Jaskier threw his hands up in the air. “I changed my name to fucking ‘Buttercup’ of all things and I’ve never regretted it. I like it. Why can’t you change your name to sound more knightly? You certainly act knightly enough to merit it!”

“So? Are you going to start calling me by a ridiculous name now to make up for what happened sixty years ago?”

“I very well might!”

~~~

Jaskier stuck to his resolution. He never used the name in public, because he had a feeling Geralt might combust and because he didn’t want to give Lambert more ammunition than he already had, but he took to calling Geralt by some part or variant of Geralt Roger Eric du Haute-Bellegarde on a fairly regular basis. Geralt tended to look flustered when he did so. Jaskier had yet to determine if this was because he liked it or because he was horribly embarrassed.

He stuck to it for three weeks before Geralt finally asked him to stop.

"Why, dear heart?"

“I’m not that person anymore.”

“You deserved the chance to be that person.”

“I don’t need to be him anymore.”

“Do you want to be him?”

“I don’t know. I don’t think so.”

“Oh.” Jaskier could understand that, however reluctantly. “That’s fine. I’ll stop.”

“You don’t have to stop entirely. Just… not all the time.”

“All right.”

Jaskier would respect Geralt’s wishes. The point of a special pet name would be to make him happy, after all. Unfortunately, Geralt’s chosen name had been Jaskier’s last idea. He’d already tried every nickname, endearment, or interesting epithet that he could think of.

“What should I call you, then?” asked Jaskier. His voice sounded significantly more vulnerable than he would have liked.

“What?”

“I’ve been trying to think of good things to call you for the last month and I haven’t found anything. I’m a bard. I love you with everything I am. I should be able to do better.”

Geralt deserved good things. Jaskier’s project was failing. He should be able to do better for Geralt.

Some of his thoughts must have shown on his face, because Geralt softened immediately. He did not speak, but Jaskier could tell it was the kind of silence that meant he was gathering his thoughts.

“I used to hate my name,” Geralt said eventually. “It didn’t feel like it was really mine for a very long time. Most don’t use it anyway. I have many epithets. Wolf, Butcher, Witcher… none of them are really a name. I was almost glad not to be called ‘Geralt,’ for a while, but then you came along.” He looked Jaskier in the eye, expression startlingly vulnerable. “I like how you say my name. You say it musically, like it’s something important. Significant. Worth remembering. I… like that.” Gently, tenderly, he took Jaskier’s hand. “I’ll always love anything you call me, but my name is enough to make me happy.”

Jaskier’s eyes felt rather wet. He blinked to clear them. Geralt’s expression was startlingly earnest. His hand was very warm where it still held Jaskier’s.

“Oh,” Jaskier managed.

Geralt’s brows furrowed a little. “Is that all right?”

Jaskier blinked. Geralt looked at him attentively, awaiting his judgment. Jaskier used Geralt’s hand to pull him closer and into a tight hug.

“Of course it’s all right, you ridiculous man.”

Geralt barely hesitated before hugging Jaskier back, and Jaskier spared a moment to feel proud of his witcher for how much he’d grown.

“Are you sure?” said Geralt. “I don’t want to spoil your notions of romance.”

“All I want is for you to be happy,” said Jaskier. “If nicknames aren’t the way to do that, I can live with it.”

“You don’t have to.”

“I want to do whatever makes you feel good.” Jaskier pulled back a little to look Geralt in the eyes. He smiled a little. “Though I can’t promise I won’t use silly endearments occasionally.”

Geralt chuckled. “I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

~~~

For the most part, Jaskier let Project Pet Names lie. It had served its purpose. Every now and then, of course, he couldn’t help but use one of the various ridiculous endearments he came up with. Most of the time, though, the way Geralt smiled when Jaskier said his name with all the love he could muster was more than enough for both of them. Geralt knew he was loved. Jaskier was happy.

Still, when Jaskier first sang his song about a brave knight named Roger Eric du Haute-Bellegarde (it was a nightmare to fit into any sort of meter, but great things were possible in the name of true love), he could have sworn he saw Geralt blush.

They both spent the evening smiling.

~~~

Seven months later, Geralt and Jaskier attended another ball. The patrons were slightly less rich and so the event was rather less fancy, which suited both of them perfectly. Just like the previous time, the couple who owned the mansion were celebrating an anniversary, and nearly the same romantic songs were being played.

This time, though, Jaskier approached Geralt with no trace of nervousness or uncertainty. Jaskier simply gave Geralt a grin and took his hand, smiling impossibly brighter as Geralt pressed a kiss to his forehead.

Though the couples around them were exchanging romantic words of their own, Jaskier paid them no mind. His own romance was more than enough to keep him occupied.

He looked up at his witcher with a soft smile.

“C’mon, Geralt.” He holds out a hand. “Give me a twirl.”

Geralt took his hand easily. “Of course.”

It was the best dance Jaskier could remember.

~~~

(“I do think your knightly name could come in handy sometime, Geralt.”

“Why’s that?”

“Well, Geralt Roger Eric Pankratz has a certain ring to it.”

“Oh.”

They kissed for a very, very long time.)

#geraskier #geralt #jaskier #the witcher #geralt x jaskier #the witcher fanfiction #wren writes #samstree #thank you again for the prompt! it was very fun to think about while i was gone #<3 #when does this take place? what is its relationship to canon? *shrug*#it's fluffy and that's all that matters

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in-death-we-fall · 1 year

Text

Fishnets and Formaldehyde

Hammer went backstage on the Murderdolls sell-out pre-Xmas UK tour last month to die alright. Terry Bezer advised on lippy and eyeliner. Compact shots: Awais

(google docs) Thanks @incredizort for sharing your collection

The last 12 months have been one helluva year for one Mr Joey Jordison. Slipknot have gone strength to strength – the Iowan nontet (sic) embarked on arguably the biggest stage spectacle ever seen with their debut British arena tour and the subsequent ‘Disasterpiece’ (sic) DVD release. Before that of course were the triumphant stints at this year’s Reading and Leeds festivals. And, oh yeah, he’s also managed to get a whole other band to a similar status of credibility.

The switch from drummer to guitar god for the Murderdolls was all too easy for Joey – reflected by their glorious position in the Metal Hammer reader’s Poll (p.58) for their outstanding ‘Beyond The Valley Of The Murderdolls’ album. Not to mention those awesome live shows that helped build that solid fanbase at monumental speed through relentless touring in the band’s self-titled ‘Mobile Morgue’.

“Whenever you start a band you want people to go apeshit,” explains vocalist Wednesday 13 backstage just before the band hit the stage the night of their crowning glory at the London Forum in December. “But in the UK I can’t believe we’re already headlining a place this huge, so it was kind of shocking, but at the same time it was something I was hoping would happen.”

To say it has simply ‘happened’ for the Murderdolls in the UK would be selling the band’s achievements something short. An incredibly successful UK debut at the Garage, a stint supporting Papa Roach across Europe where they consistently blew the headliners clean off of the stage, and now with a sell-out British tour to their name, the Murderdolls bandwagon quickly turned into far more than just a side project featuring one of metal’s biggest stars.

“Maybe when we first started out people were perhaps just turning up to see me,” admits Joey somewhat coyly, “And there was a hell of a lot of Slipknot shirts in the audience at first, but as time’s gone on, it’s become more and more about the Murderdolls as a whole.

“I think we’re providing a fun outlet and a lot of kids aren’t used to that, hearing depressing lyrics all about war, politics, childhood trauma and bad parenting all the time. It’s a different circumstance to hear a band singing about grave robbing, killing your wife on your wedding day and killing Miss America. I mean if you’re relating to a song that’s called ‘Grave Robbing USA’, you’ve got a fucking problem, because our songs are written with a dark humour attitude and it’s just about having fun. Kids’ll leave our shows with smiles all over their faces and be saying ‘Man, I had so much fun at that show’ and maybe they’re not used to that because of a trend that’s going on right now.”

Agreed. That fun atmosphere of the band’s shows remains unrivalled in the world of rock music right now. Witness vocalist Wednesday 13 whipping the crowd into a frenzy on top of the monitors thrusting a red and black umbrella adorned with the word ‘Fuck’, throughout new song ‘I Love To Say Fuck’. Hear the squeals of excitement that greet the opening to typically twisted Murderdolls romance story, ‘Love At First Fright’. Or witness Joey’s camp homage to Marilyn Manson as he comes on for the encore in a pseudo SS Grüppenfuhrer’s get-up. (Whether the little guy knows the irony of the situation as the Forum infamously played host to Moseley’s 1930’s fascist rallies – and that giant eagles adorn each side of the stage tonight — is anyone’s guess). Just a few examples of how the ‘Dolls expertly plaster shit-eating grins across 1,000 baying audience members’ faces with style and ease.

“We’re definitely a touring band,” states Wednesday defiantly. “That’s the whole thing about us: we never grew up in the same town and we hadn’t been practicing in our mum’s garage for years and years – it was just a thing where we met and just learned to be a better band by playing onstage every night.

“If you’ve seen the show before you’ll know that everyone is running around, giving their all. We just try to get better and better and I think we’ve definitely progressed into a live band. Right now, I’d say we’re one of the best live bands currently on the scene.”

Consolidated by the band’s three minute anthems of aggravating slabs of punk rock fury, the shows are doubtless an excuse for everyone to let loose and have a good time. Something that must clearly be out of the ordinary for Joey when you consider his day job…

“Fuck yeah,” laughs the drummer-come guitar god Jordison. “I didn’t ever want to come out playing drums with fast double bass drums and being real heavy wearing my mask and shit. I thought it was really important that the kids could see that I do play guitar and that I write a lot of Slipknot’s material.

“It’s just been fucking fun. I’m having a blast. With this band, I don’t care how many fans we get. Slipknot was definitely geared towards getting as many people to listen to us as possible while still maintaining that ‘fuck everyone’ attitude but here I just get to go wild and have a good time.”

The doubt that will be hanging inside many a ghoul’s head will be concerning the future of the Murderdolls and how long the good times will continue to roll. With the Slipknot engine ready to fire up any week now, to begin work on their much-anticipated fourth album, is there any chance that the Murderdolls will be a brief flash in the pan, or are the band in it for the long haul?

“This is absolutely a long-term project,” Joey says reassuringly. “I wouldn’t have it any other way, man. I’ve got to do some Slipknot stuff next year with the recording of the album but then we’re going to go out again after that. There’ll probably be three or four months of leeway time and then we’ll go back out on tour again. Me and Wednesday have already begun writing for the next album already and I can’t wait to get back out again even though we haven’t finished touring this album yet!”

Photo captions:

Because you’re worth it

“Spare any change for some Loreal guv?”

“Hmm. Too much emulsion?”

“Oh. My. God. I think I see a blackhead. Oh, hi Eric!”

Wednesday: dressed to kill

“Bah! These raspberry ripple stains will never come out!”

Acey: most dreaded

Is it raining men yet?

School’s out for ever!

Wednesday falls for the old mascara-swapped-for-road-tar gag

Eric Griffin: Nikki Sixx’s very own Mini Me

#murderdolls #joey jordison #wednesday 13 #ben graves #eric griffin #acey slade #interview #if anyone knows which issue of metal hammer this was lemme know #if you saw it the first time i posted no you didn't #(when there's too many words tumblr freaks out and every edit further borks everything because we inhabit a very functional webbed site)

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