For the last goddamn time...
"Kill your darlings" means "if something is holding you back, get rid of it, even if it sounds pretty."
That's it! That's all it means! It means if you're stuck and stalled out on your story and you could fix the whole block by removing something but you're avoiding removing that thing because it's good, you remove that thing. That's the darling.
It does NOT mean
That you have to get rid of your self-indulgent writing
That you should delete something just because you like it (?wtf?)
That you need to kill off characters (??? what)
That you have to pare your story down to the absolute bare bones
That you have to delete anything whatsoever if you don't want to
The POINT is that you STOP FEELING GUILTY for throwing out good writing that isn't SERVING THE STORY.
The POINT is that you don't get so HUNG UP on the details that you lose sight of the BIG PICTURE.
Good grief....
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Dismantling the Lies of Abusive Parents Masterlist
Resources
Giving you food and clothing is the bare minimum
You donât owe gratitude for food and clothes you needed as a child
You had the right for basic resources
Parents shaming you for costing money is ironic and stupid
What it means when they say âThis is MY houseâ
My house = my rules is blackmail
Children donât owe absolute obedience for being fed and sheltered
Physical abuse
You are allowed to refuse any touch, not only violence
If they âdonât know theyâre hurting youâ, why do they ignore or punish you when you protest?
Hitting children is irrational and doesnât work
You cannot âprovokeâ your parents to abuse you if theyâre not abusive
Why do parents hit, manipulate and traumatize children
Blatant Lies
Care, nurture and affection do not make you weak
Theyâre lying when they say it âwasnât that badââ
You wouldnât have grown up spoiled if not for abuse
You got too affected by itâ is a lie
Your parents are not âjust too emotionally immatureâ to understand abuse
âYouâre not living in the real world!â is nonsense
Youâre not worthless, a burden, ungrateful, or stupid, and your parents know that.
Constant undermining of your accomplishments is abuse
Not being allowed to talk about the past is symptom of abuse
Parents who want you to be happy vs look happy
You are not abusive for resisting abuse
When they claim âthey didnât mean itâ, itâs still abuse
Your parents are responsible for their own actions regardless of how badly they try to shift blame on you
Psychological abuse
Blind Obedience is not required in a healthy upbringing
Disgust is a weapon abusive parents use on their kids
If they say they love you, but walk all over your feelings, they donâtÂ
Parents donât have the right to enter your room to scream at you
Parents insisting for you to be âtoughâ are doing it to hide the trauma
Even if a kid acts like âthey can take itâ, itâs still abuse
Pretending abuse is discipline will leave children permanently scarred
Itâs inhumane to control and shame childrenâs reactions to abuse
Why donât you already know this? vs Teaching you necessary skills
Acting like theyâll change is escape sabotage
Parents are responsible for protecting children from harm
References to how healthy parenting looks like
Not being allowed to be angry with your parents is psychological abuse
If parents want you to act the way you did when you were little, theyâre dangerous
Threats about how hard your life will be later on, are bad for you
Lack of continuity and ever-changing rules will cause anxiety
Forced obedience will lead you to abusive relationships
Parents acting like youâre a âbad childâ is a shame tactic to control you
Thereâs healthy and abusive ways to give children chores
Revisioning the past and insisting you remember it wrong is gaslighting
If your parents make you suicidal, theyâre abusive
Parents threatening âthey could be worseâ is abuse
Always assuming the worst intentions for your actions is wrong
Keeping children hostage in abuse is torture
If this hits home, also read Recognizing Abuse Masterlist
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