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Cosmere Characters Do Their Taxes
It was just Tax Day in the US! Let's say that Cosmere characters had to pay taxes. How would that go for them?
Sigzil: Knows the tax code inside and out. Saves his receipts. Is basically the IRS's dream guy.
Hoid: Does not pay taxes. This is canon.
Kelsier: Does not pay taxes. This feels canon.
Marasi: Always pays her taxes.
Vivenna: Always pays her taxes.
Denth: Sure talks a lot about how complicated mercenary taxes are but if you listen carefully, he never actually says he did them...
Nale: Rigorously follows the tax code of whatever country he is in.
Wyndle: Claims Lift as a dependent. Reports all illegally acquired income at fair market value, as the tax code requires.
Lightsong: Does not pay taxes because he's, like, a god. But it's always bothered him, somewhere in the back of his mind, for some reason...
Adolin: Cheerfully hires someone else to do his taxes, at least so long as he's single.
Shallan: Does her own taxes, Sebarial's taxes, and Adolin's taxes post-marriage.
Steris & Wax: Do their taxes together. Romantically.
Wayne: Gives so much money to charity that he never owes any taxes. Orders his accountants to find a way for him to pay taxes anyway.
Straff: Does not pay taxes in the way rich people don't pay taxes--through, like, legal loopholes and off-shore accounts and shit
Elend: Rewrites the tax code to pay more taxes.
Lirin: Committed tax fraud. But only once.
Taravangian: Is not allowed to file his taxes when he is too stupid--because he cries about how confusing it is--or when he's too smart--because he's too good at finding all of the super obvious tax loopholes and anyway he's obviously way better than the government at knowing how to spend his own money!
Painter: Got in trouble once for not filing taxes because he knew he didn't make enough to owe any taxes. Seemed kinda stupid to him.
Moash: Makes an ethical argument against taxes, since the tax laws are written to benefit the rich and screw over the poor and he has no control over what the government uses his taxes for.
Kaladin: Is torn between paying his taxes like Dalinar ordered or not paying his taxes since he promised Moash he wouldn't until he finally files his taxes at, like, midnight on tax day
It's a whole thing.
#cosmere#cosmerelists#Sigzil#Hoid#Kelsier#Marasi#Vivenna#Denth#nale#Wyndle#Lightsong#Adolin#Shallan#Steris#Wax#Wayne#Straff#Elend#Lirin#Taravangian#Painter#Moash#Kaladin
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Mistborn Era 1 Characters- Would They Listen To My Chemical Romance (as an MCR fan)
Kelsier: Yes, but specifically Three Cheers For Sweet Revenge and the heavy songs in Black Parade. It's great background music for killing nobles.
Vin: Yes, she is obsessed. She has posters in her room, merch, and has seen them live. She has listened to all their songs, and Gerard Way's solo music.
Elend: Not really, they used to scare him. Now he'll sometimes listen to them with Vin but they're not his favorite.
Sazed: During the time between Tindwyl's death and his Ascension, yes. But all other times no, he finds them too intense. Even during that time he only listened to their sadder, calmer songs.
Marsh: definitely after he escaped Ruin's control, I'm not sure about before that.
TenSoon: not until he met Vin. But he spent a lot of time listening with her and now loves them.
Rashek: I want to say no because if MCR formed in The Final Empire he would probably have them killed but like... he has dark pitch black hair and hates the world. If you looked at him you would assume he's an MCR fan.
Ruin: He would find them very fun, so probably.
Straff: The only main villain who definitely would not listen to MCR. He would probably be one of those people who's think MCR is ruining younger generations.
Zane: Do I even need to write this one? He would probably be creepily obsessed. Like Vin is jut having fun with it, Zane tries to find out where the members live.
#elend venture#marsh mistborn#mistborn era 1#kelsier#cosmere#vin venture#tensoon#rashek#the lord ruler#ruin mistborn#straff venture#zane venture#my chemical romance
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Worst Dad Bracket Finals
This is it, folks. Nothing left to say, just vote for which dad is worse.
#polls#worst dad bracket#tournament polls#mistborn#straff venture#atla#fire lord ozai#sorry this is late i've been busy#(playing tears of the kingdom)
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So, since I know I have at least two mutuals who like both fandoms...
The Mechs songs that have Cosmere AMVs to them in my brain.
Peacemaker - Kaladin and Moash
Kaladin as Mordred, obviously, and Moash as Gawain. I picture this as an alternate version of the Oathbringer climax.
Losing Track - Gavilar's Death
This one's a huge, chaotic AMV switching perspectives when the current POV character walks past the next POV character.
Cast:
Odin - Gavilar. Wants (unknowingly) to bring back the elder gods (BAD BAD IDEA) through technology.
Thor - the listener/Parshendi... council? Five? I don't recall their name, been a while since I read stormlight. "Odin, there will be no more of your misrule..."
Loki - Szeth. "I'll bring back my mind..." "Shame to my soul / making me whole".
Sigyn - Jasnah, plotting her own assassination. This does require you to mentally recontextualise the wife line to not refer to Szeth; that would... certainly be a ship.
Lyffrasir Edda: Dalinar, having visions/replaying his memories. "Days I've spent watching it now. The same scenes, the same faces, over and over. Then distortion, interference, static. It's all a blur."
Ragnarok II: The Calling - Venli, Eshonai, and Odium. AU.
AU where Eshonai regains her mind instead of/before dying. Eshonai as Loki, Venli as Odin, Odium as the Void.
Starts from "At the observation window, Odin watches, untouched by the chaos. Loki stares at her, eyes wide, mind clear."
Favoured Son - Zane and Straff Venture.
Self-explanatory.
I also had some half-baked ideas about Hellfire and Hrathen, but it's been so long since I read Elantris that I don't really remember anything about him beyond 'preacher guy'.
#the mechanisms#mechs#banger tunes for my blorbos#cosmere#stormlight archive#mistborn#eshonai#venli#odium#zane venture#straff venture#gavilar kholin#jasnah kholin#szeth son son vallano#dalinar kholin#kaladin stormblessed#moash#Spotify
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#i’m a menace#not putting straff venture tho even I have limits#cosmere#cremposting#Stormlight archive#warbreaker#mistborn#stormlight spoilers#warbreaker spoilers
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Vin: There’s no need to be afraid of me, I don’t bite.
Straff: That’s all well and good, but do you stab?
Vin:
Vin: I don’t bite.
#cosmere#cosmeme#brandon sanderson#mistborn shitpost#incorrect mistborn quotes#mistborn#the final empire#well of acenscion#hero of ages#vin#vin venture#straff venture#cremposting#cfsbf
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waaaaaait did we ever find out who was poisoning the water from that one well in the city? vin is saying the call is getting softer as they get farther from luthadel so i’m guessing that poisoned well is connected to the deepness and that’s why it was killing people and it’s really the well of ascension and that’s why the lord ruler chose to put his palace there so far from his homeland
#SEE WHEN THEY FIRST INTRODUCED A SIDE PLOT WITH A WELL I THOUGHT THAT MUST BE THE WELL OF ASCENSION#but then i thought for sure we found out it was straff like from his own pov#like i thought the poisoned well was just a red herring well#i thought he sent zane to do it????#either way that MUST be the well of ascension right?? RIGHT????#mine#mistborn#juli reads the cosmere
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¿cómo son TODOS los personajes de NACIDOS DE LA BRUMA era 1? En este vídeo los tenéis:
youtube
Canal de Youtube: Amigo de Gandalf
#amigodegandalf #nacidosdelabruma #mistborn #mistborntrilogy #sazed #kelsier #vin #brandonsandersonbooks #brandonsanderson #sanderson #elimperiofinal #elpozodelaascension #elcaminodelosreyes #elarchivodelastormentas
#amigodegandalf#amigo de gandalf#brandon sanderson#sanderson#nacidos de la bruma#mistborn#mistborn trilogy#vin#sazed#elend#venture#straff venture#Youtube
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Cosmere Protagonists Who Would Support the Villain...of Other Cosmere Planets
As requested by @asteroidfieldgame :)
Sure, in their own stories the villains are not well-liked by the majority of the cast. But if we took those villains and had them meet protagonists of other Cosmere novels...well, then it might be different, mightn't it?
[Here there be spoilers! I would skip any entry if you're not caught up on all the books for both characters involved!]
1. Moash: Supported by Kelsier
Kelsier: [holding Moash protectively ala that one meme with Kevin Hart]
Kelsier: My boy Moash has LITERALLY never done anything wrong ever!
Kelsier: Ooooh, did he kill his oppressors? Is he mean to poor helpless nobility? Did someone Rich experience a Consequence?
Moash: (mumbling) I did try to drive my friend to suicide.
Kelsier: Shh...baby boy, it's okay!
Kelsier: I made my disciple advocate for old people to kill themselves with spikes to preserve their power!
Kelsier: You're literally fine.
2. Odium: Supported by Harmony
Harmony: Listen, I'm not saying I agree with everything Odium does.
Harmony: But making it so that you have a planet of mighty, battle-hardened residents to prepare for the coming Cosmere-wide conflict?
Harmony: Sometimes I wonder if I should have done something more like that.
Harmony: Instead of giving everyone an easy life and making giraffes because giraffes are neat.
Odium: Have you considered...battle giraffes?
Harmony: Please don't patronize me.
3. Hrathen: Supported by Ellista (that one Ardent who was really into romance novels)
Ellista: I am not immune to a handsome man in bloodred armor with a troubled past whose hard, mean exterior is slowly worn away through love.
Ellista: A man who chooses love--unrequited love!--over his own god!
Ellista: Problematic for an Ardent like me, but so, so compelling.
Ellista: (sighs dreamily)
Hrathen: ...
Hrathen: Could I have someone else's support please?
4. Riina [from Tress]: Supported by Wayne
Wayne (counting off reasons on his fingers): One, if you're gonna be the sort to be giving out curses, giving out breakable curses makes you less of an unforgivable villain and more of a garden-variety dick.
Wayne: Two, rats are cute. Makin' someone a rat is better 'n' making them a grub or something.
Wayne: Three, and most importantly, her penis spaceship is hilarious.
Riina: IT WAS NOT A PENIS SPACESHIP
5. The Lord Ruler: Supported by Dalinar
Dalinar: I suppose I am simply more aware than most that being a king is hard and can involve less-than-ideal-choices.
Dalinar: And didn't he essentially become immortal while trying to cage an evil god and save his planet? I am literally setting myself up to maybe experience that as we speak.
Dalinar: I know he took an entire population and made them slaves, but I did tell Jasnah not to free our slaves so, like...
Dalinar: ...
Dalinar: Maybe Wit was right. Maybe I AM a tyrant.
Wit: You've never done an enforced breeding program with humans, though. That I know of. The Lord Ruler did that! Like, a lot!
Dalinar: ...
Dalinar: Wait I want to mitigate my support a little.
6. Taravangian: Supported by Shai
Shai: That Diagram of his...well, it's pure art, isn't it?
Shai: I'm not immune to the appeal of incredibly complex and well-researched plans turned into an artistic representation so beautiful that it attracts worshippers.
Taravangian: It's really more science than it is art, I'd say.
Shai: Hilarious that you think those things are different.
7. Nale: Supported by Marasi
Marasi: He knows the law and follows the law.
Marasi: Don't think it would ever occur to him that someone could be quote unquote "above" the law.
Marasi: That makes him better than, like, quite a lot of my coworkers.
8. The Machine [from Yumi and the Nightmare Painter]: Supported by Vasher
Vasher: Obviously a soul-eating machine that nearly destroys a planet and turns people into nightmares is not ideal.
Vasher: But it's not the machine's fault it was given an ill-considered Command.
Vasher: Hey! Bald guy! Wanna gentle-parent the machine too?
Szeth: Uh
9. Raboniel: Supported by Elend
Elend: Not for nothing am I chair of the Support Women's Wrongs fanclub.
Elend: Nor can I fail to support a Woman in Science. Basic feminism.
Elend: And although I know my bar is on floor, a parent who will do anything to save their child from eternal suffering gets me right here. (points to his heart)
10. Straff: Supported by...no one
Straff: ...
Straff: ...
Straff: OH COME ON
#cosmere#cosmerelists#Nale; Taravangian; and Straff entries suggested by requester!#Moash#Kelsier#Taravangian#Shai#Straff#elend#Raboniel#Nale#Marasi#Lord Ruler#Dalinar#Wayne#Riina#Ellista#Hrathen#Harmony#Odium
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Straff: I’m going to fucking kill you
Whyck: You can’t kill him he’s babey
Ellend: I’m just a little guy
Whyck: He’s just a little guy!
Whyck: Look at his face. He’s got the face of an Angel
Ellend: 😇
Whyck: He‘s never done anything wrong in his life
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My friend keeps calling Straff “Daddy Venture” and it makes me mightily uncomfortable
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Worst Dad Bracket Semifinals
Here's two dads whose repeated victories kept shocking me! They went against some of the heaviest hitters of all bad dads and kept winning despite their relative obscurity. But, what happens when they square off against each other?
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put this man on the Angry Face list
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Joel Kinnaman as Rasknolnikov in Crime & Punishment (Brott och straff) | Backa Theatre 2007-2008
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Am I the only person on earth who remembers in Well of Ascension when Vin is talking to Zane and sees that his arms are all scarred up for self harm reasons and goes oh you survived the pits of hathsin just like Kelsier! Because that’s like. The main thing I remember from that goddamn book
#that and straff getting addicted to heroin but it had no greater impact on the plot it was just for the love of the game#luke.txt#and I saw a post from someone once that offhandedly mentioned Zane surviving hathsin and it’s like#no. no he didn’t. he is#as the kids in residential treatment often said in self mocking derision#a cutter gutter bitch
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