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#stop my mental health can’t handle this 😭
bigkpopstan · 1 month
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get sunghoon OFF my fyp before I turn into a sunghoon guy again
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zapreportsblog · 8 months
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Could you do something with the Cullens where the reader has a meltdown at school and they find out it’s because they have diabetes and their blood sugar dropped and they can’t find their juice box they packed just in case
❝i need a juice box❞
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✭ pairing : cullen siblings x reader
✭ fandom : twilight
✭ summary : (y/n) has diabetes and their sugar intake tends to drop quite a bit hence why their always remember to bring a pack of juices with them everywhere, not only does it help but it’s tasty too. But then one day her juice boxes bust in her locker, so what does any frustrated person do? Have a mental breakdown like it’s the end of the world, luckily some classmates of hers has her back
✭ authors note : Ayo ignore that juice part that says no sugar added 😭 i used the first picture i seen of juice and those shits be bustin. Ah and I’ve been watching anime lately so i apologize in advance for the lack of writing I’m putting out
✭ twilight masterlist 2
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(Y/N) had always been well-acquainted with the delicate balance of her health. Diabetes wasn't just a condition for her; it was a family legacy. With half her family members wrestling with the same ailment, it was almost a rite of passage.
The sun had barely risen over Forks as she hurriedly got ready for her first day at Forks High School. This new beginning was daunting enough, but it became even more challenging with the knowledge that her diabetes would be a constant companion throughout the day.
As she zipped up her school bag, she made sure to slot in her lifeline - a package of juices. These juices were her safety net, ensuring her blood sugar levels stayed within a safe range. She had diligently followed this routine every day, her tiny insurance policy against hypoglycemia.
With her backpack securely on her shoulders, (Y/N) headed downstairs to the kitchen. Her mom greeted her with a warm smile, understanding the importance of this daily ritual. "Don't forget your juices, dear," she reminded.
(Y/N) grabbed the chilled package from the fridge and slipped it into her bag. "Thanks, Mom," she said, returning the smile. Her mom's familiarity with diabetes had always been a source of comfort.
Minutes later, she was out the door and on her way to Forks High School. The campus buzzed with excitement, but (Y/N) couldn't help feeling a bit of trepidation. New school, new faces, and the relentless specter of diabetes were a lot to handle.
History class was her first stop, and she found a seat next to a boy named Jasper. They exchanged polite nods as she settled into her chair, trying to focus on the teacher's introduction.
Then it happened. A discreet but insistent beep emanated from her wrist. Her watch timer, meticulously set to remind her when to take her juice, had gone off. This was the crucial moment to maintain her blood sugar levels. With practiced ease, she reached into her bag to retrieve her juice, only to discover her heart-sinking realization – it wasn't there.
Panic started to creep in, her fingers trembling as she fumbled through her bag in desperation. Jasper, noticing her distress, leaned closer. "Is everything okay?" he asked in a concerned whisper.
(Y/N) could feel her face flush with anxiety. She mumbled, "I think I left my juice in my locker. I need to go get it."
The teacher, Mrs. Thompson, glanced their way. "Is there a problem?"
(Y/N) stuttered, "I just need to grab something from my locker. It won't take long, I promise."
Mrs. Thompson nodded, granting her permission to leave the class. Her heart raced as she hurried out the door, fervently hoping that her juice would be where she thought it was.
(Y/N) practically sprinted through the hallways, her heart pounding in her chest. The idea of waiting another four hours until lunch without her juice was unbearable. She needed to retrieve her lifeline from her locker, and she needed it now.
Finally, she reached her locker, a sense of relief washing over her as she yanked it open. But that relief quickly turned to frustration as she stared at the sight before her. Her textbooks had fallen over and, in a cruel twist of fate, had crushed the juice boxes. Their colorful packaging was torn and sticky liquid seeped from the ruined containers.
"No, no, no," she muttered in frustration, tears welling up in her eyes. It felt like the universe was conspiring against her today, and the overwhelming weight of her situation crashed down on her shoulders. Her mind raced with thoughts of how she would make it through the day without her juice.
Just when it seemed like her world was spiraling out of control, a voice interrupted her thoughts. "Hey, are you okay?" It was Rosalie, a girl she barely knew, but one of the few familiar faces in this new school.
(Y/N) blinked back tears and explained what had happened, her voice quivering with anxiety. "I don't know what to do. I can't wait until lunch without my juice."
Rosalie glanced at the sticky mess inside her locker and then at Emmett, who had joined them. "That's totally not cool," he said, sympathy in his eyes. "I'll grab you something from the vending machine. What do you want?"
(Y/N) opened her mouth to protest, but before she could utter a word, Emmett had already taken off down the hallway. She looked helplessly after him, torn between gratitude and a sense of intrusion.
Rosalie placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder. "Don't worry about it," she said with a warm smile. "Once Emmett's made up his mind, that's that. He's a bit overbearing at times, but he means well."
(Y/N) couldn't help but smile through her frustration. In this unexpected moment of crisis, she had found a glimmer of kindness and support. Sometimes, it took a helping hand to make a bad situation feel a little more manageable.
Just when (Y/N) thought her day couldn't get any stranger, Emmett returned with a comical surplus of juice boxes in his arms. He had not come back with just one or two; he had brought what looked like a small grocery store worth of them.
"Emmett! What are you doing?" Rosalie exclaimed, smacking him on the back of the head. She looked at the impressive stack of juice boxes with a mix of amusement and disbelief.
Emmett shrugged, a sheepish grin on his face. "I didn't know how many she wanted, so I just grabbed them all."
(Y/N) stood there, stunned and grateful. She couldn't believe the lengths this stranger was going to in order to help her out. "Thank you," she managed to say, her voice filled with genuine appreciation.
Emmett chuckled. "No problem at all. It's better to have too many than not enough, right?"
Rosalie rolled her eyes but wore a fond smile. "You always do this, Emmett. How are you going to carry all of them?"
Emmett scratched his head, looking a bit perplexed. "I'll just carry them around until we see her again at lunch. She can take what she needs now."
(Y/N) couldn't help but laugh at the absurdity of the situation. "I don't even know how to thank you both enough," she said, reaching out to take a handful of juice boxes, about six of them. It was a bit heavy, but she could manage.
Emmett grinned, his good-naturedness shining through. "You're welcome. Anytime you need help, just let us know."
Rosalie gave (Y/N) a playful shove. "Girls gotta help girls, right?"
With her backpack now considerably heavier with the added juice boxes, (Y/N) felt a newfound sense of belonging. These two strangers had shown her kindness and support when she needed it most, and she couldn't help but feel that Forks High School might not be such a daunting place after all. As they walked her back to class, she couldn't help but smile, grateful for this unexpected friendship.
Lunchtime arrived, and (Y/N) entered the bustling cafeteria with her stack of juice boxes, feeling a mixture of gratitude and nervousness. She looked around, wondering where to sit when she heard a familiar voice booming across the room.
"Hey, juice girl!" Emmett called out, waving enthusiastically from a table on the other side of the cafeteria. His infectious energy drew the attention of many students, and a few curious glances followed her as she made her way toward him.
A warm smile stretched across her face as she approached Emmett's table. He had saved her from a diabetic crisis earlier in the day, and now he was offering her a seat at his table, as if she were already part of their group.
"Thanks," she said, taking a seat next to Emmett, her stack of juice boxes settling beside her. She couldn't help but feel a sense of belonging that she hadn't expected to find so quickly in this new school.
As she settled in and started unpacking her lunch, (Y/N) couldn't help but feel grateful for the kindness of her new friends. It was a small gesture, but it meant the world to her, and it made Forks High School feel a little less dauntin
Emmett introduced his siblings to (Y/N) with a playful grin. "This is Rosalie, my lovely and sometimes overly responsible partner, and this," he gestured dramatically to a young man who had been quiet until now, "is Edward, our resident brooding poet."
“Partner?”
“It’s complicated,” Rosalie says but she gave (Y/N) a warm smile, and Edward nodded in acknowledgment, his expression more reserved.
Emmett couldn't resist a teasing grin as he turned to (Y/N). "And, of course, you already know me, the one who saved the day earlier—your trusty juice retriever." He emphasized the last part, a playful twinkle in his eye.
“Then there’s Alice and jasper but I’m not sure where those two are at the moment.” He added.
(Y/N) couldn't help but laugh at Emmett's description. "Yes, my hero," she replied, her gratitude evident in her tone.
Edward, who had been observing the interaction quietly, couldn't resist a smirk. "Emmett and his heroic acts. Quite the storyteller, he is."
Emmett chuckled, taking a sip of his drink. "Well, I just wanted to make sure our new friend here didn't pass out from low blood sugar."
(Y/N) felt a sense of warmth and camaraderie settling in at the table. These strangers had quickly become friends, and she was grateful for their support. With a newfound sense of belonging, she joined in the conversation, feeling more at ease in this new school than she had thought possible.
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Better Luck Next Time || Fuma
Request: Type : Fluff Pairing: Fuma Plot : Where fuma wants to try the “ try not to kiss your partner “ and he fails himself later 😭 tension and all. If is possible?
Oh how I love this request it’s so so cute thank you for asking me I loved writing it 💕I’m so so sorry it took so long my mental health had been out the window for a long time that I had little motivation for anything.
Pairing: Fuma x reader
Genre: fluff
Warnings: kissing! A tiny bit of swearing!
♡๑⌓✿ ◍✧* ♡๑⌓✿ ◍✧*♡๑⌓✿ ◍✧* ♡๑⌓✿ ◍♡๑
“Hello sweetheart” your boyfriend sat next to you with a mischievous smile you knew he had an inquiry just by the look he gave you.
“Hello my love what is it?” You said turning putting ur full attention onto him. He put his hand on your leg and avoided eye contact. You always found it cute how your gaze could make him so shy once you gave him your full attention.
“I saw a trend I wanted to try, you try not to kiss ur partner and whoever goes in for the kiss first looses” He said waiting for your response. You thought it’d be fun so you went to agree but before you even got your answer in he was already trying to dismiss the idea thinking you found it silly.
“I know it is a silly idea I just wanted to tr-“ Before he could finish his sentence you already cut him off.
“I’d love to to try the challenge with you but don’t be mad when you loose”
“Haha very funny but you know you can’t resist me” He said with a smirk. You shifted your spot to be sitting directly in front of him.
“So are there any rules?” You said putting your hand in his. Rubbing it slightly to show ur affection. Physical touch was one of ur favorite expressions your acts proving so which made him one to think it’d be a quick and easy win.
“None except for try not to be the lead in the kiss” He giggled. You put on a timer on ur phone to see how long it’d take for one of you to crack. But ur a competitive person and knew how to rule him up so you were confident you had it in the bag.
It started as just a simple touch. Bringing your hand up to caress his jawline, thumb swiping over his bottom lip. You looked up and down from his lips to his eyes, you could tell the tension you were creating was hard for him not to fall into as he bit his lip ever so slightly. You knew the game was getting harder for you as well but you knew you could keep urself at bay.
You leaned in slightly as if you were going for a kiss he was excited to be winning and to kiss you; preparing for the kiss he was shocked it never happened as he opens his eyes as ur nose to nose almost touching lips. He knew he could not handle the game any longer and with that he broke the distance to create a passionate kiss.
“Fuck I thought I had that in the bag!” He said jokingly as he broke the kiss to catch air. He laughed but couldn’t believe out of the two he’d loose.
“You can’t be too sure when you know the true fact is you can never resist me” you said throwing his initial words right back at him. He put his hand to his chest as if you had burned him as he laughed once more.
“You used all the stops you didn’t even give me a chance not fair”
“It was completely fair you just couldn’t keep up my love, better luck next time.” You said planting a small peck to his lips.
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tteokdoroki · 1 year
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🌸 - I just want to establish the following isn’t an attack on all shippers of this ship because not all of you are toxic it’s just that some of y’all scare me;
So I have been having a few mental health issues this week and I have the bkdk tag blocked but I can’t figure out how to block tags on yt and instagram so I literally started crying when I was exposed to it. I experienced a lot of toxicity from them on twt so I can’t even look at the ship but kiribaku has been my comfort ship. Unfortunately because the canon material has been focused on deku and bakugo, which makes me deeply uncomfortable. I don’t have the context but the sheer idea of bakugo having feelings for the nerd, even in subtext makes me physically sick. It’s not that I don’t like deku, it’s just that the ship feels like pseudo incest because in my interpretation they act like brothers. Also the fact that kirishima isn’t really relevant as much anymore bothers me. He’s a good character on his own and I’ve accepted the fact that it won’t be canon because it’s shonen. But after kamijiro (which I also have blocked in tags but don’t mind at the moment) had that out of pocket scene that caused me a literal mental breakdown (long story), my mental health can’t handle the fact that bakugo literally sacrificed himself for deku without even a reference to his CANON BEST FRIEND kirishima. I deeply hope that we get a blatant confirmation that bakugo and deku have a BROTHERLY relationship even if we don’t get any on screen kiribaku crumbs. I want reassurance that bkdk would never happen and for the toxic shippers to stop posting bkdk content under the krbk tags and stop trying to force your ship onto others. I already had a crisis about accidentally falling in love with a fictional character (Denki) and feeling heartbroken but now I have to deal with possible subtextual evidence for bkdks and a lack of krbk content in canon. Please tell me I’m just the subtext wrong and that in context I don’t have to worry. I’m freaking out because I’ve seen krbk solos literally get doxxed on twitter and harassed by toxic bkdks.
listen, im only going to answer this ask/topic once im pretty sure i’ve addressed this with you personally already. this is not the first time I’ve warned you about trauma dumping here but im going to set some boundaries. please don’t do this in my inbox — i don’t know you personally and I’m literally just a girl on tumblr writing porn. i am not your best friend, you cannot dump issues on me like this out of the blue, especially without considering how they make me feel myself. you do not know me.
secondly as a person who regularly engages with both bkdk and krbk content i think this is extremely selfish and ridiculous for you to send this to me 😭 just because YOU had a bad experience with bkdk doesnt mean i should have this projected onto me. i am just a person on tumblr, im not a therapist — i can help with day to day issues but this just seems like something you need to figure out for yourself.
im sorry about the issues you have surrounding it and perhaps the toxic people on Twitter but it seems to me that you need to make the conscious decision to leave bnha Twitter or Twitter in general?? like idk what to tell you but the manga is literally about deku 😭 he’s the protagonist. you’re going to see him and bakugou interact. pseudo incest is literally ridiculous as well. they’re childhood friends ??? like what
im not going to reassure you about krbk this or bkdk that because quite frankly i don’t care. they’re lines on a page to me and its literally never that deep. shipping is meant to be for fun and not to be taken that seriously. i severely suggest that you take a break ?? from all thing bnha related because as you’ve stated it’s not been very good for you and im sorry for that.
i literally cannot even fathom how disrespectful this is 😭 coming to my inbox with no warning and venting like this. genuinely don’t mean to be rude but i have no idea what you expected me to respond with. it’s deeply concerning and literally never do this again. please.
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maerenee930 · 1 year
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random thoughts.
just kinda venting. need to get some thoughts and feelings out of my head/off of my chest 😓
also heads up, i do talk about anxiety and depression and i do swear a little bit.
(not that i’m really expecting anyone to read this lol.)
apologies in advance for sounding whiny, obnoxious and/or annoying. also i know only i can change things for myself and have to be willing to put in the effort to change things for myself if i really and truly do want them to change. i just haven’t really talked with anyone about how i’m feeling in a minute cause i don’t want to bother anyone or come off as whiny and annoying so i’m getting those thoughts and feelings out on here so i can just get them out of my head. and hoping it’ll help with this heavy/weighted feeling on and in my chest right now. (thanks to my depression and anxiety.)
so much going on in my head and so much unnecessary anxiety right now.
i feel like i’m going crazy.
fucking hell, i just feel like i am crazy lol.
it just feels like there’s so much going on and i can’t handle all of it.
too much overthinking and the more i do over think, the worse everything feels and the more i feel that i’m just making everything worse.
i can’t even focus on one thought for too long/long enough to kind of like calm it down or figure out why it’s bothering me and what i need to do to fix it because my anxiety kicks in even harder and so i stop feeling anxiety about that specific thing, my brain switches to something else so i don’t fixate on that last thing and it just goes on and on with anything i think about.
i’m tired of my brain being like this. and i’m just really tired of my brain lol.
i’m tired of feeling like i’m drowning and can barely keep my head above the water.
i’m tired of feeling like and making myself feel like i am going crazy or just straight up am crazy 😣
i’m really fucking tired of feeling so overwhelmed by everything (or what feels like mostly everything) and that i can’t keep up with it all.
i’m just really fucking tired.
i so fucking tired of my depression making me feel worthless randomly or that i’m just in everyone’s way or that everyone would be better off if i weren’t here
big side note!! most times it more like mean if i left and ran away, other times it’s more like not here at all/all together and permanently. which makes me feel worse because i fucking hate that i even think like that or could even feel that way about myself and fuuuuuck!! i’m just really goddamn fucking sick and tired of my mental health being what it is/so fucking shitty and am so fucking tired of my brain being broken.
i have so many other thoughts and feelings i want to get out but don’t feel like rambling more and don’t want to focus on this feeling anymore. i just want to exist and fucking not worry about anything and just fucking like let myself live my goddamn life in ducking peace!
and there’s just too much too talk about and i can’t focus on one thing long enough to feel like i’m fully able to get out everything i want to and to make it all make sense.
and fuck! it all feels just really so fucking overwhelming 😖😭😭
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duckymcdoorknob · 3 years
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I’m not sure if ur still doing emergency requests bc I’m new here but I have one,
My mom died when I was pretty young and my family had never really recovered since her death and as far as im concerned my house is always filled with fights, could u please do headcanons with the hq boys with s/o’s with toxic/abusive family members? (Include osamu pls 😭 he’s my biggest comfort character)
Of course my love.
Please talk to me whenever you need it I’m ALWAYS open.
I’m very happy that you’ve come to me today.
CW UNDER THE CUT: Toxic family, death,
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𝑂𝑠𝑎𝑚𝑢 𝑀𝑖𝑦𝑎
When ‘Samu was met with a deluge of excuses, after wanting to pick you up for a date at your house for the umpteenth time, he finally became suspicious of your home life.
He soon faced the conflict of: Do I let them suffer but come to me? Or do I pry and take the chance of them lying to me?
With pain in his heart, he decided to take the first option.
It absolutely killed him to see you pretended everything was normal.
He had nothing to go off of. You always came to school happy as a clam, never showing any sign of trouble.
Maybe he was reading too far into this.
Or maybe not.
Osamu’s phone dings gently, the screen illuminating your name with a few heart emojis next to it.
“Yes sir, I’ll be home soon. I’ve truly tried my best this quarter, but I’m sorry to report that I did not meet your expectations. I know how hard losing mom was, so I want to keep things stress free at home. I will not disappoint you again.”
Oh this can’t be good.
When the next day comes, Osamu sees you leave the car that dropped you off.
You were visibly shaking, face flushed and eyes blearing, as if you were desperately trying not to cry.
He immediately made a subtle beeline to your side.
“Hi darling. Care to join me after school at home? I’ll send ‘Tsumu to the kennel for the day.”
“I really shouldn’t. My dad-“
“(Y/N) love, please. Your health isn’t safe at home. At least not your mentality.”
“I can’t, Osamu. ‘It’s not safe for me to leave..”
He cupped a hand on your cheek and nodded with a smile. “I understand. Please stay safe, dove.”
The school day passed and evening followed. Osamu was absolutely torn about how to address the situation.
He had vaguely explained to Atsumu and his parents, at least the extent of his own knowledge. He needed anyone else to help him figure out what to do from here.
Mid chat with the family, Osamu’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion as a gentle knock echoed from the door.
He went to open it and his eyes met your own leaking ones. A suitcase stood at your side, it’s handle in your trembling hand.
“ ‘Samu I can’t... I can’t take it there anymore you have to help me.”
He wordlessly pulled you into his chest, resting his chin on your head and rubbing your back.
“Everything will be alright, my precious love. You’ll stay here. We’ll figure it out, okay?”
You nodded as you wept quietly in his embrace.
To both Osamu’s delight, and your own, Atsumu had taken care to bring your bag inside and place it on the guest room bed.
He also brought forth three blankets and set up the television to stream a movie.
The three of you made your way to the couch, with you in the center of the Miya brothers.
“Say, (Y/N)? Do you want me to kick anyone’s ass? Cause I totally will.” Atsumu pondered our loud, not moving his head from the back of the couch.
You chuckled out a “no” and snuggled in closer to Osamu.
He plants a kiss on your temple.
“You’ve got me and ‘Tsumu in your corner. No one can get you here, and no one expects anything of you.”
“Take time to relax, you’re not going anywhere if I have any say in the matter.”
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𝐾𝑒𝑖𝑗𝑖 𝐴𝑘𝑎𝑎𝑠ℎ𝑖
Quiet, but attentive, Keiji picked up on your cautious behavior.
He noticed how every word that escaped your tongue was said ever so carefully.
How you would correct yourself if you said too much
How you’d stop talking the instant your opinion was challenged.
How you’d just give up.
But for why, he didn’t know. Could it be fawning? Maybe you’re just afraid of conflict.
He felt it best not to pry.
Since you basically tell him everything already, why should he be worried that you’re keeping secrets from him?
You are his partner after all. You said it yourself that honesty is the best policy.
In the near future, the day he heard it was the day he took action.
He had started by calling to check up on you, offering to video chat to do homework with each other.
Akaashi frowned upon receiving a text from you stating that you had “dropped phone in pool.” And that the “microphone’s busted”
He wasn’t born last night, he figured out that you muted yourself because he heard popping on the other end, instead of dead silence.
A lump rose in his throat as he watched your door swing open, and your phone falling from the force.
Keiji’s not entirely sure how it happened, but the call unmuted and he heard everything that was said on the other end of the line.
His heart sank as he heard a specifically selfish comment from your family member.
He didn’t know if he wanted to rush over to your house and kidnap you, comfort you over the phone right then and there, or punch your relative through the screen.
So, he acted upon what his burning gut told him: rescue you.
Rescue you, rescue you, rescue you.
Akaashi’s mind sang at him as his feet pounded mutely against the pavement.
He shot you a text, telling you to pack an a few nights of supplies in a bag.
Refusing to check the likely deluge of confused protests, he shook his mind off of them and kept running toward your house.
When he arrived, he texted you once again, not wanting to alert his presence to your family.
When you opened the door, he wordlessly grabbed your hand and walked with you back to his house.
The walk back was quiet but sincere, his fingers never Un-intertwining from your own.
Upon arrival at his place, he sat you on his couch and held onto both of your hands.
“My beautiful baby.” He muttered sweetly, “Would you like to tell me what’s happening? Or do you just want to forget?”
Hesitantly, your voice cracking with every few words, you explain how home life hasn’t been the same since the passing of your mother.
You explain how you don’t even feel like their baby anymore, just a person they have to take care of.
Letting tears slip down your face as you continue to dump and dump on your boyfriend.
When you’re finished, he nods with a sympathetic smile and lays flat on the couch, resting your head on his chest.
“Why don’t we watch a movie, yeah? We can figure things out later.”
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——————✞♡︎✞♡︎✞♡︎✞♡︎✞♡︎✞♡︎✞♡︎✞♡︎✞——————
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majesticartax · 4 years
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HELLO EVERYONE!
i am indeed alive :D i had to take a bit of a break from social media and writing to get a handle on myself and my emotions and mental and physical health. WAY TMI beneath the cut :3
Early last month I was called some very terrible things by some people in the hq fandom - it was only a couple ppl and no one I knew or had interacted with before, but it was enough to leave me shaken and terribly sad and feeling betrayed, unsure of whether I really wanted to be a part of the fandom anymore, and with quarantine still ongoing and now the protests and my country again proving that it as a whole doesn’t give a shit about civil rights or human lives, i’m just...spent. the month of May is already triggering and a difficult time of year for me as well (bc trauma) and to top it all off my physical health has been utter garbage for a while and my doctor has been less than helpful. so i’ve been taking a break from everything and trying to take more time for myself and exercise as much as my body allows, but it has been a struggle. i’m tired all the time, i can’t think well most days, my memory is terrible, i HURT, i have episodes where i can’t get enough air, i recently had a sudden weight gain that goes against the body shape i’ve had since i grew into a human, and last but not least, a couple weeks ago my thyroid was swollen to the point where it became hard to swallow. so yeah. something obviously has been very wrong with me. I’ve always been a physically healthy person, so everything that’s been happening has been wearing away at me for a very long time and I just figured that feeling this way was something I’d have to accept and live with from now on.
BUT!! just this week i was diagnosed with hypothyroidism. FUCKINNNNG SKJSHSHDKSJAG FINALLY. i was so relieved and happy that i teared up when I read my blood labs. i started meds yesterday and i can’t wait to finally feel right again after TWO YEARS of weird symptoms that my doctor just shrugged her shoulders at. i know that i’m finally going to feel better and like myself again. Every. Single. Symptom. That has been killing me points to a thyroid disorder. What the fuuuuuck ahhhhh I’m so so so happy 😭😭😭😭
so anyway. that’s what’s been going on for the past month. i haven’t quit writing! i still think about it every day, but honestly it has become a source of anxiety for me since i know people are waiting for updates. no one has been unkind and i appreciate every single ask and comment and message i get, but, shit, i want updates too!! it’s been extremely exhausting and distressing to sit down to write and have all these ideas but not be able to coax them out of me, not being able to think clearly enough to string two sentences together and being on the verge of tears thinking that i lost the ability to write.
but i can already feel the fog lifting - just knowing that i’ll be okay again after years of unpleasantness and feeling like a nuisance and a disappointment has done wonders for my headspace. i already have a healthy lifestyle so all i have to do is wait for my meds to start working and i’m PUMPED. i’m not going to give an exact date as to when i’ll start updating my fics again because it’s been hugely depressing for me not being able to hit that deadline just because my brain won’t operate, and i’m sick of letting myself and my readers down, so I don’t want to jump the gun and get all jazzed when I still might have some residual brain fog to kick. 
but seriously, don’t worry i’m not going to stop writing! thank you to everyone who’s shown me kindness and concern over the last few weeks, to those of you who have asked if I’m okay 💕 and ENDLESS thank-yous to everyone for your patience :))
I’m going to start working on replying personally to asks and messages in a day or so (they’ve been piling up for so long i’m so sorry 😫) but i figured you guys deserved an explanation for my quasi-disappearance. I hope everyone is doing well and staying safe, and I look forward to joining you all again very soon ❤️
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