Not me watching Resident Alien stoned as shit

That was the worst encounter with a police officer I’ve ever had.

So much has happened. Some of it all at once, some of it multiple places at a time, and often to my astonishment.  I’m back into smoking weed again. Lucifer’s Lettuce. Satan’s Cilantro. Jazz cigarettes, etc.  Finally. 

Whereas before this would trigger my intense panic response, now I am just...able to dip my toe into the feeling and acclimate. I owe it all to CBD. While I only took it at first to help me sleep and adjust to my new job schedule, over time I became aware of just how much this ‘diet Mary Jane’ was helping me all along. Physically, creatively, and emotionally (yuck).  Now I am leveling out. Balancing my needs. My wants. Wanting to need, needing to want, etc.  I smoked an entire “lunar cone” of Strawberry Cough. I’m fucking zooted. STONEY BALOGNA. HIGHER THAN GIRAFFE PUSSY.  “Hey...I used to do sidequests high ALL THE TIME. I feel great. This is easy.” It’s 11:30pm. I can make it to the gas station. Get some beer and stay awake to keep my new sleep schedule in sync. It’ll be great. What could go wrong? I pull up the gas station around the corner and I am getting the jitters. “Okay. I can do this. Just walk like an Egyptian. Cool as cucumbers.” IMMEDATELY a police car pulls into the handicap space with some urgency. The driver (a cop btw) is just staring me down though the tinted window. My stomach is in knots. There’s no robbery going on from what I can see. The parking lot is quiet. What’s the rush? Is he in a hurry to make it to a restroom? My eyes are red. I’m a shaking a bit. Haven’t gotten my sea legs back.  I’m taking as much time as possible while in the gas station. Perusing their variety of Bugles. Noting how those pickle flavored sunflower seeds were not that great. He should be gone by now. I’ll go grab a 6 pack of Dos Equis and get the hell out of here.  I ring up and guess who’s holding the door for me? The officer just staring me directly in my CRIMSON eyeballs is doing some sort of performative bow while allowing me to walk out. “What the fuck is going on here?” I’m thinking. “I’m too high for this shit”. “HEY-”  I turned around slowly.  “If he can’t stand, he can’t fight!” ...what? Am I about to get brutalized by a lunatic cop? Then he starts pointing to his head and raising his eyebrows while asking “SILVER?”

...did I fall asleep in my chair again? Is this a weird anxiety dream? I didn’t move or say anything. People always forget that “freeze” is the 3rd option when considering their fight or flight response. What the fuck is wrong with this guy? What is he talking about?! Is he gonna reach for his service weapon?! He gestures to my tee-shirt. It’s a Cobra Kai shirt from a local bar. He was quoting from the show he also loves so much. I pretended to laugh and waved while heading back to the car. I am never doing sidequests high ever again. 

Stoney balogna.

Ask me anything publicly on anon or otherwise in my ask plz 🥺

Well between getting my wisdom teeth taken out, my own 21st bday, my besties 21st, and taking care of my parents house while their gone I have been smoking big trees 😂😂😂

~Laney 💜✌️

Sleepy times

These tumblr ads have me like: what a fine Picasso piece 🤌

Oops I got high again🤷🏻‍♀️

A (poorly filtered) J with dabs on the side, sprinkled generously with keif. Party favorite

Let it go. All the way down, until there’s no where left to fall. It’s a shame all the ways we build ourselves up, just to let each other down.

baby stoner 👶💨

Blackstar from Soul Eater is a power bottom tbh,,,

Two smokin' at onceee 🍃 @micklosteph

~Delaney ✌️💜

happy 420 stoney balognas 💚🍁