Squidbob Headcanons

this is pre-established dating

- they pass notes back and forth with customer orders + little notes for each other during work

- spongebob is extremely interested in squidwards suction cups and plays with them when he's bored

- they have sleepovers every friday night where they give each other makeovers while watching Gilmore Girls

- squidward can't stand it when spongebob tries to clothes shop without him because he always comes home with something outragious for him to wear

- at every party they sneak off to make out😐

- spongebob constantly brags about squidward

- squidward is the little spoon

- they make each other lunches for work, squidward is a terrible chef but spongebob is so very supportive😭💞

- spongebob gets very lovey dovey around christmas and walks around the house singing all i want for christmas you

- "please? ill be your best friend"

- squidward reads over spongebob's papers for college and helps him with grammar

- for their first date they went to an art convention that was wholely squidwards idea, but spongebob found an exibit on bubbles that they both adored

- they pretend to be santa for each other and on christmas morning they say stuff like "gee i wonder what santa brought for you this year" and give each other looks

- both of them don't especially enjoy PDA at work, but sometimes during squidwards breaks spongebob bursts in and lets all his adoration out

- this headcanon is mostly for me, but i hc that spongebob has SA trauma so they both made lots of boundaries about the certain subject

- squidward secretly goes crazy for sharing self care products with spongebob. he wants to smell like him

- good segway into a hc ive been mulling over for a while, but spongebob would naturally smell like childhood toys, ukulele strings, and a hint of book smell

- squidward naturally smells...warm? like yk how heat gives off a smell. and also a weirdly specific brand of laundry detergent, and cat paws

- spongebob is usually the one to motivate and affirm while squidward is the one to reason with and de-escalate

- the sound of squidwards voice immediately calms spongebob, its like he curls up in the vibrations of it and the stress literally melts away

- squidward is the type to randomly slip a compliment into the conversation like it meams nothing, and then smiles to himself when spongebob malfunctions

- flustering spongebob is a difficult task, squidward knows from experience that spongebob is hard to surprise or catch off guard

- banter between the two is something that squidward values greatly, he loves being able to bounce witty quips and flirts off of spongebob and to have the sponge retaliate and match his energy

- squidwards easily knocked off of his high horse by spongebob, but spongebob always catches him (shut up i know thats stupid but its cute)

- one night after spongebob had eluded his mind long after he'd said goodbye, squidward created a song about him. he stayed up at an ungodly hour and then in the morning he just stared at the pages and pages of lyrics.

he rememebered thinking one thing: fuck. he was in love

Sorry for posting this–

Something that is apparently a headcanon of mine...

I've been noticing that Squidward cussing like a sailor in times of stress (whether in his head or not) is becoming a teeny pattern in my fics. Like those tiny ass screenshots above are legit from two different fics lmao.

And it's always due to him being a dumbass over Spongebob.

alright! here goes the steps

(my au) traumatized SpongeBob and Squidward in the past.

(original but headcanon) Squidward tsundere and Spongebob being the sunshine.

(Villain Spongebob Robert AU) and there goes him. Villain Spongebob Robert.

Original picrew

i could be projecting a little but both squidward and spongebob are definitely autistic

What your favourite BJHM ship says about you!

Boherb: you obsess over AUs and headcanons

Bobutter: you're a sucker for character foil dynamics and also your favourite ship is probably squidbob

BoJack x Diane: you love relationships where the two character arcs have exact opposite pathways over the course of the story

Diane x Mr Peanutbutter: you believe that there was a way to save their relationship. Also you're probably a Heartstopper fan

Diarolyn: you're me

Diane x Guy: you just want good things for Diane. And honestly, who doesn't?

BoJack x Todd: you're my friend Katie. Also you preferred their relationship at the end of the show

BoJack x Gina: you like relationships based in chemistry and banter, and you also obsess over AUs and headcanons

Princess Carolyn x Ralph: you want the best for PC (and who doesn't)

Princess Carolyn x Judah: PC's was your favourite character arc

Paige and Max: you're autistic

if your weirded out by asks then dont have them in the first place just a thought?

Not everybody is going to be supportive of you especially since you keep headcanonning trans sam and max

I shouldn't have to turn off asks altogether because of some people being inappropriate or transphobic. I'm gonna call out the bad stuff, that's what you're supposed to do.

And you're saying I should just be silent when people are doing that? I know people aren't gonna like it or have the same ideas but you can just move on and not say anything (kinda weird if you straight up dislike that aspect honestly in the first place). Because I make trans artwork I should turn off this feature entirely instead of addressing the problem? I should stop letting people interact with me at all? To stop being treated disrespectfully I should stop making trans art or ideas? BTW this came in the exact same time as a squidbob request are you the same person.

That last part sounded annoyed about those headcanons, this is dedicated to everyone who finds it annoying that I keep posting them!

hello and welcome to autisticjonathanjoestar !

my name is Vee / Val

I am 21 years old

my pronouns are they/them, ae/aem, or it/its

I am genderqueer & a proud fagdyke

my sexuality is like if a gay man and a lesbian were sharing an apartment, but the apartment is myself

autistic + ADHD + dyslexia + I contain multitudes + hypermobile baddie

Libra ☀️/Pisces 🌙/Virgo ⬆️ + ENFP

no squares allowed!! I love weirdos, queers, and freaks <3 I love furries and otherkin and object kissers and weird perverts <3 I love weird genders and neopronouns and identities that confuse people <3 I love faggots, dykes, and transsexuals <3 & I LOVE fat bitches!!!

I like baking, watercolors, smoking weed and writing silly little fics 🫶 I don't have an art tag so far because art posts are very very rare

mutuals can ask for my discord I am shy but trying not to be ❤️

I talk about characters with my headcanons, especially with pronouns that may not be accurate to canon. I'm going to say canon men are lesbians, or that canon men are trans women (maybe even use she/her), because this is how I enjoy spending my time online

I post about a lot of things & change fixations a lot , but some highlights of things I post would be:

JJBA (this might be obvious), Markiplier lore, Muppets, MCR, Homestuck, FOB, Minecraft, SpongeBob, Danganronpa, Adventure Time & Doctor Who (special interests are highlighted !)

holpol & brupro & squidbob liker among many more

the flag in my pfp is bigender lesbian!

I don't think DNIs work very well so I'll just say that if your blog makes me miserable or exists to make others miserable (ED, discourse, etc) I will block you 🫶 you can't make me feel bad in my own phone

Confessions: Karendy is adorkable and classy, Squidbob is horrible and trashy. I wish Helen the Felon was a recurring antagonist and Fred [the fish] was her arch nemesis. She'd totally bite his leg. (I headcanon Helen is a little piranha.)

TGHIS ISN'T A CONFESSIONSBLOG? ?? ?WHY DO PEOPLE KEEP COMING TO ME TO CONFESS THEIR TAKES ... I AM NOT A PRIEST

spoingbob?

yaya!!

Sexuality Headcanon: hes canonicallu ace so GOOD FOR HIM! Otherwise im p loose w the sexuality headcanons 4 him Some days for me hes lesbian other times hes bi other times hes gay it really depeneds Gender Headcanon: one thing i know is he is absolutely not cis. I honestly dont know what gender he is but he is not cisgender @ all A ship I have with said character: patbob + Spandy(sorry.its in a lesbian way i promise) Also spandtrick which is all 3 of them which i think is prettie cute 😁 A BROTP I have with said character: patrick yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TRheyre best friends foerever and me and my old best friend from elementary school used to pretend i was spongebob and she was patrick and it was rlly fun....... A NOTP I have with said character: i used to fucking hate squidbob but like a year ago it started to grow on me and now its OK I guess tch.that doesnt really answer the question but thats the closest i have LOL A random headcanon: i rlly like the common autism headcanon for him bcus i feel my experience w autism is rlly close to what he has goin on and i like that hes genuinely competent whilst still being childish 😊Hes so role model for me General Opinion over said character: i loooooooooooooooooooove spongbob jsut his joy and the way he lives and his happiness and his continuing to try to find joyful things even when things r tough its hjust AUGHHHHH its so simple and childlike but i genuinely do wanna imitate his way of thinking as ive grown a lot more cynical this year but god damn i miss having his sense of #childlike wonder hes just overall a character that makes me REALLY really happy. ive been watching this show since before i could talk and i used to call spongebob "babab" so he means sooooooo so much to me 💙💙💙💙

squidward

Sexuality Headcanon: bisexual (just realized I hc so many characters as bisexual agauskee)

Gender Headcanon: transmasc

A ship I have with said character: SQUIDBOB

A BROTP I have with said character: squidward and sandy love mlm and wlw hostility /j

A NOTP I have with said character: squidward/squilliam as like a current/future thing I absolutely believe they are exes but I do not like squilliam

A random headcanon: autism

General Opinion over said character: LOVE HIM SO MUCH I AM NUMBER ONE SQUIDWARD FAN he's so underappreciated in-universe like why does everyone think his art is bad sure it's a little self absorbed but it's GOOD everyone's just mean 😢

SEND ME A CHARACTER

not a squidbob fan huh

WELL

i ship it, I am fine with it, I just don't consider it *MY* ship, ya know? If anything I feel likje ive absorbed my friends' headcanon of him being ace lmao

Writing Update ✍️

Well, what a busy summer it's already been! Know I've been active here and there, but tbh, life has been crazy - both in good and in bad ways.

I still find solace in writing no matter what, so just wanted to post a tiny update about what I'm presently working on and what I want to work on eventually 🤗📖

Very subject to change but I'm excited!

Current project:

Squarepants family fic

I'm currently working on a fic (mentioned here) that involves the Squarepants family. 🧽👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 What started out as a plot bunny has evolved into something much bigger, which (unfortunately) means it's been taking me a bit more time than expected.

Additionally, with all the lore and headcanons I'm including, this fic is becoming slightly longer than I originally thought. It was going to be ~6 chapters but I'm thinking it might go up to 7-8.

Hoping to share some teasers by the end of this month, but we shall see.

SquidBob is the main pairing. 🧽🐙

Future projects:

Fortune teller/soulmate fic

Yes! This is still happening, I swear it!

I've already shared quite a bit about this fic, but deets are here and here. There will be more teasers when I have more figured out + written/edited.

No ETA yet.

Main pairing is SquidBob, with a relatively big Plabs/Karendy side plot. There will also be Fancykins if you squint.

TLM AU fic

I've definitely said somewhere that I don't usually write/read full-blown AUs (i.e., not canon divergence), but I'm about to do something I never thought I'd do and try my hand at writing an AU fic. 🙌

As with many AUs in SBSP, it will involve humanization. However, it will also involve non-anthro critters that maintain cartoonish attributes (ex. Finding Nemo, Lion King [animated], etc).

Setting is probably ~1800's in a seaside kindgom/village. It won't be super accurate but I'm here to entertain, not educate - unless the opportunity presents itself in a fun way. 🤯

It isn't going to be the timeliest either lol, but it was somewhat inspired by this. 👀🧜‍♀️

I haven't even started drafting this, so no ETA yet.

To the surprise of no one, SquidBob is the main pairing. 😊

Werewolf lesbians fic

I haven't posted much original content for Sims, but I'm a total Simmer and I'd love to do more Sims storytelling at some point. Fun fact: my username was actually inspired by the Tragic Clown from the games. 🤡

The Sims 4 Werewolves did a great job on the lore so I've had this idea to write a story (maybe with screenshots?) based on that with my own made-up lore sprinkled in. 🐺There would obviously be a romance aspect because I'm a sucker for it and there's this "Fated Mates" feature that I just have to include. 💏

Main pairing is Rory Oaklow & Lux DeMarco.

Past Spongebob and Past Squidward

(Around umm 5-6th year of highschool???)

Their schools are different so they never actually met but in this art i made its just a timeline where they actually met in coincidence. (They dont know each other lets remove the rip off kamp koral out-)

This is the time where it takes places 3 months before Squilliam's break up with Squidward and where after a month of Spongebob's break up with his ex.

(Spongebob's friend who works at a barber shop he decides to get a job from there. Takes his inspiration from the other people watching how that cut hair and turned out into fabulous hairstyles. He met Squidward as the first client.)

THIS TOOK ME ONLY A MINUTE TO MAKE JDKENDNSNWNWNSJJWJSJWJSJWBJSBW SPAMSPAMSPAMSP

it’s late, and i’m losing my shit thinking about social media in sbsp. like: 

> the krusty krab and the chum bucket having an ongoing social media war, a la: 

> “thanks neptune” becomes a meme for every minor inconvenience. just dropped my krabby patty on the floor #thanksneptune. boat broke down on the bb highway #thanksneptune. eventually the hashtag reaches king neptune himself, who simply replies, “you’re welcome.” 

> patrick and/or sandy liveblogging squidbob. kinda like this. mr. krabs sets up a betting pool on them, and the whole town is in on it. there’s a group chat and everything. “if i have to watch these two flirt instead of getting my krabby patty one more time, i will riot,” pleads a desperate incidental. “my lunch break is only an hour.” 

> lots and lots of snail/worm videos. gary has his own fishtagram, and it’s run by spongebob. all the captions say “meow meow meow meow meow meow meow.” he regularly gets thousands of likes.  

> people weirdly obsessed with “glove world/glove universe” marriage proposals. videos like, GETTING ENGAGED AT GLOVE WORLD! MY GLOVE WORLD ENGAGEMENT! sweep the internet. “i wanna get engaged at glove world!” groans patrick. “by the way, what’s engaged?” 

> someone points out that squilliam’s unibrow looks “ready for takeoff”, so people just start ... photoshopping his unibrow in high places. in the sky. on an airplane. in space. squidward loses his shit, saves every version he can find, and spams squilliam with them until he gets blocked

> aesthetic nature shots of jellyfish fields with captions like “we all swim in the same sea” or whatever 

I'm afraid i have a gut feeling that all the kisses on random places that spongebob gives squidward, he's just doing it to warm up squid for the day he will land a kiss on his mouth