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spinningalbinoturtle · 29 days

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Fellowship Marriage and Wedding Headcanons

Aragorn + Arwen

As we see in the movies and books their wedding is a very big to-do in Gondor. Arwen has a great eye and has picked out excellent design choices. If Aragorn had his way they would have been married in a small ceremony in Rivendell outside years ago but also Elrond saw to it that didn’t happen

They very much co-lead and have a fairly equal relationship. I say fairly because ultimately Arwen always has the last say

Aragorn genuinely and intensely worships his wife and will not hesitate to bring her or her opinions up at any given time.

They fuck A LOT. Aragorn absolutely knows how to please a woman and enjoys doing so

Sam and Frodo

Yes they’re married, no he didn’t go to the undying lands, no Sam doesn’t marry Rosie what are you talking about?

I think it would be wildly funny is they got married at Bilbo’s birthday party- but realistically I think they got married in Rivendell on their way back from the quest.

When Sam becomes Mayor he appoints Frodo as his deputy so they can work together

They have a very affectionate and loving relationship to the point where other hobbits (Merry and Pippin) get annoyed by their gratuitous displays of PDA

They have sex like once a week but cuddle everyday

They’re very protective of one another

Eowyn and Faramir

I’ve said it before I’ll say it again, Faramir is a trans woman-they are lesbians

Have a very equal relationship although Eowyn appears more dominant (and kinda is)

They share political power very equally though

They both are scared to be parents but also really want kids: spoiler alert they had nothing to worry about they are excellent parents

Eowyn is very open about sex and will discuss it or go at it in semi public spaces, Faramir is more shy so Eowyn respects this but encourages her to be more confident

Pippin and Diamond

They met at the strip club where Diamond is a dancer

They instantly fell in love

They are super devoted to one another

They are ALWAYS going at it and have evidence of their sex life displayed around their living room-this makes guests very uncomfortable

Pippin takes pole dancing classes to impress Diamond. He also takes her to the male strip club so “she can enjoy it”

His parents are a little disappointed but they keep it to themselves because they’re just happy Pippin finally settled down

Merry and Estella

I hate to say this but their marriage is low-key arranged. Merry’s dad wanted him to get married and Estella’s family wanted connections

At first they kinda like eachother and get along but Estella rapidly becomes annoyed with Merry’s constant being high and having Pippin over

She eventually divorces him. He goes to crash on Pippin’s couch for an extended stay

Eventually he goes back to Buckland. Estella gets rich off the divorce

Merry is happy with his bachelor lifestyle and has plenty of various boyfriends and girlfriends over the years. He teases his friends for being “tied down”

Legolas and Gimli

Their wedding is held in Dale in an attempt at neutrality but a fight breaks out between the dwarves and elves at the reception and they sneak away

They love to travel together

They have tried everything. And I mean everything. They never run out of ideas to spice up their sex life

They do sleep in separate rooms though because Legolas kicks and Gimli snores

They do not want kids but like being the weird uncles of everyone else’s kids. They don’t want the responsibility

Credit for the Diamond is a hobbit stripper headcanon goes to @diplomatson thank you my friend for that excellent idea

#frodo baggins #lotr #sam gamgee #aragorn #eowyn #merry brandybuck #pippin took #samfro #arwen undomiel #gigolas #legolas #gimli #faramir x eowyn #farawyn #faramir

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tathrin · 9 months

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I wish you would write a fic where you go into detail about Boromir's fall under the Ring (in THAT AU), even if it was one *chunky* chapter~ 👀

An answer to this ask prompt.

Ahhhh yes! I wish the same anon. (Have a snippet.)

I am actually hopeful that I will have a good chance (or even two) to do so eventually. I'm not sure how it's going to go exactly because we are many, many chapters away, but I intend for [SPOILER ALERT!] Boromir to make a visit to the Lonely Mountain on Gondor's behalf, to check-in on how things are going, and to say it will be tense is...definitely an understatement.

These are the people he betrayed. They know that Aragorn's blood is on his hands. They were all part of the Fellowship together and he betrayed them, he betrayed the Quest, he took the Ring, they were there he betrayed them, personally. Not just in general, the way he betrayed all Middle-earth by dooming them to the Shadow of his father's rule; but personally, individually.

They were his friends. Now...probably not so much. (But Gimli wears a Ring, too; surely Gimli will understand? If anyone can understand...if anyone can forgive him as he cannot forgive himself, surely it will be Gimli?)

Anyway, here's a snippet that I've had jotted-down practically since I wrote that first world-building post:

"I am no great Elf Lord, skilled in the arts of ósanwë or adept at piercing the veil of the Unseen World," Legolas sneered, "but even I need no Mirror now to see the claws of the Ring buried deep in your mind. You are being eaten alive, Boromir. Already your spirit shudders before the black corruption you have taken into yourself. How long do you think you will last, before you rise to become a Nazgûl of your father? "I have not the gift of foresight common to some of my kin," he added coolly, "true; but if I were to hazard a guess?" Legolas leaned in close. Boromir drew back, but the tall chairback stopped him and he sat there, rigid and pale, as the elf's lip curled in scorn and his sharp eyes raked Bormir's face like a long knife. "I would say," Legolas hissed, "that it will not be long." With that he spun on his heel, his robes swirling around him like the spiral of dying autumn leaves, and strode from the hall. Boromir watched him go in utter, abject silence.

Then I have tenuous plans for Gimli (and his pet elf) to travel to Minas Tirith at some point, having been summoned by Denethor (and his pet maia) with the rest of the Ringbearers, with the vague intention that they'll get more exposition details about exactly What Happened With Boromir when they talk to Faramir. But that one I have no snippets for, it's too ambiguous yet.

Anyway if anybody hasn't read the fic yet and wants to know what the fuck is going on, here it is!

#gimli dark lord of erebor au #my writing #my stuff #lotr fanfiction #wish you would write a fic meme #lotr #gimli #boromir #gimleaf

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sootyships · 7 months

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Ridiculous amounts of Tolkien OCs under the cut

Fiacra of Dunland, a trader or some ish

Wulfrun (wife of Fiacra). She’s from Rohan. Her family were not fans of her marrying a Dunlending trader cuz ofc not lul. She ran away to Dunland with him but being an outsider made her miserable even though his family did their best to make her feel welcome, so Fiacra got on the lookout for a place where they could live without either of them being, well, too other.

Maela (sibling of Fiacra). Decided to leave Dunland with Fiacra and Wulfrun on the premise that they could protect Wulfrun in the new home when Fiacra is out doing his tradey job. Also wanted to see the world and also kinda live somewhere where they would be so inconsequential to the new people that maybe nobody cares if some gender exploration happens. (spoiler alert: she’s a trans girl)

Gundûrz, just a lone uruk who doesn't really know what the fuck to do with hisself now. Falls down a cliffside like a dumbass.

Ansey Pry of Bree-land, a nearsighted apothecary in the village Fiacra & co move to. They're not a man or a woman and that's just swell for a member of cunning folk. Also falls down a cliffside like a dumbass.

Ankarad, local wise woman and Ansey's teacher. She's had a higher education than the moniker alone would imply, but she rather likes it.

picrew used

Gavin, teenage son of one of the Archet families. His family is on particularly good terms with Ansey and Ankarad and he helps around when needed. He’s a horse boy 😁

The Gondor crew:

pose is the 1st pose from the second post in this thread, art by me.

Allarabâr, Umbaran who moved up to Gondor for lulz now that there is ~peace~

Drauchir, son of Ankarad, Allarabâr’s work partner who catches feelings

Rôbê, Allarabâr's best friend, kind of a tomboy

Meklit, highly educated and a bit of a revolutionary

And then some peeps in the north (~Gundabad) who unfortunately lack visual refs atmo...

Feradach, a human who's married to an orcess, befriends Gundûrz

Kraghya, aforementioned orcess

Maûzhâk “Migmau”, half-orc daughter of the above

Brôccîn, Feradach’s brother-in-law, delivers a letter at one point, as a random detail has a red beard which does not match his hair colour

(Also Migmau is a cutie)

#AND THESE ARE NOT EVEN ALL OF THEM #but the others are probably from a different verse #satnaakh is still a fave tho #one of the ones who arent (yet) part of this verse

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legolaslovely · 4 years

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Walking on Snow

A/N: THIS IS MUSHY AND I DON’T CAREEEEEE I love this elf so much!!!!! I hope you guys enjoy this one!

Pairing: Legolas x Human!Reader

Word Count: 1,093

Warnings: literally none

Summary: (Y/N) and Legolas met during the Quest of the Ring, never quite voicing their feelings for each other amid the world ending chaos. Now, in times of peace, Legolas and snow have come to pay (Y/N) a visit. Feelings are CLEAR, but will they talk about it? (Spoiler alert: NO!!!!!)

And now my favorite gif because it’s my favorite thank you to the gifmaker

Legolas was stirred by the sound of a small gasp followed by speeding footsteps outside. He sat up next to the hearth that was still warm from long conversations the night before, and looked to the not quite closed door of the small home. Next to it hung a warm coat, completely forgotten. He smiled and took it on his way out.

It was easy to follow the messy trail of boot marks that were dug deep in the many inches of snow. Over the yard, through the gate, around the back of the barn and into the meadow, watching his own feet lay atop the snow instead of sinking in the cold, white fluff. Then the tracks stopped.

He looked up and held a hand in front of his face, catching the snowball that was hurdling toward him. His gentle fingers allowed the compact snow to remain in a perfect sphere. He tossed it and let it fall, it too sinking below his feet. “Nice try, mellon nîn.”

(Y/N) descended, climbing down the branches and landing gracefully on her feet before him. Her smile was bright despite her failed attempt. “You knew it was going to snow,” she said. “That’s why you came visiting.”

Legolas dusted wet flakes from her hair. “I came visiting because I wanted to see you.”

She circled him, fingers weaved together behind her back, boots crunching. “But you picked this day...” her toes lifted her to his ear. “Because you knew it was going to snow!”

He turned. “Yes, I knew.” He spoke over her protests. “And I didn’t tell you because I wanted you to be surprised. I’ve never seen you happier than when you wake up to a fresh blanket of snow.”

“I am happier than even that when you visit.”

He hummed, lifting her face and running his thumb over her chin.

“How long will you stay?” she asked.

His kissed her forehead, warm lips over cold skin. She knew he was stalling. “I must leave for the forest in the morning.”

She looked out over the smooth, creamy meadow that was just starting to reflect the dawn’s light. The sun was rising, a menacing reminder that time moves on and steals away perfect moments. “The snow will have melted by then.”

“Let’s enjoy it while we can,” he said, taking her hand and leading her along the treeline and further into the silent field. The branches above twinkled with rays of light, leaving (Y/N)’s treat to drip and disappear. She leaned into his side as they slowly walked along, his feet floating on top of the snow while hers were quickly buried.

“It rarely snows in Gondor, especially this time of year. What are the trees saying about it?”

He smirked. This was her usual question for him to distract from the problems of home. It was her way to bringing him to the things he loved, including her. “They are telling you to put on your coat.” He held it out for her to slide her arms into. She laughed and did so.

“The trees are quite nosy today,” she said.

He turned her around, taking his time with the buttons. Then he pulled a pair of green gloves out of the pocket. “These too.”

“What are these?” she asked.

“A gift. For the one whose hands are always cold.”

The green fabric shimmered in the light, showing off perfect stitching and the embroidery down the wrists. Clearly warm, but not over sized or bulky, made my the most talented elves in Legolas’ land. (Y/N)’s own hands were already red and shriveling, even after the short time they’d spent unprotected from the cold. “They’re gorgeous, Legolas. Thank you. But I don’t want to wear them just now.”

He allowed her fingers to run through his hair, slide down his cheek, over his lips, to land on his chest. “Greed now will cause you pain later,” he said, lifting her pink hands and kissing them.

“It’ll be worth it.”

He hummed, trying not to smile, which would encourage her. He failed.

“Now, teach me to walk on the snow!” she said. She laughed at his expression and took his hands. “Come now, I’m a rather graceful human and I’ve spent enough time with you to know your ways-”

“And defy them.”

Her lips pressed into a thin, curved line and she looked up at him from under heavy brows. “Teach me.”

His fingers slid from her hands to her forearms, gripping them firmly. He took a deep breath. “This is not something we learn, mellon nîn.”

“Just try.”

He led her, one step and she fell into the snow, giggling. “Keep your feet flat.”

“They are!”

“Your boots are too heavy.”

Step, sink. Step sink. Then, she stepped up on the untouched snow. The stiff film over the fluff supported her. Another tentative step. The snow didn’t cave in under her weight. Legolas looked up from her boots to see her mouth wide open in a surprised, joyous grin.

Then they both heard a crack from beneath. “No, no!” she cried, but Legolas caught her before she could sink down to the dead grass.

With an arm tight around her waist, Legolas walked her through the meadow like a pair of buoys floating in the sea. He risked a glance and found her watching him with a fond smile- something he’d never seen from any other human. Small and shy, yet heedless of any rules or judgement. Something inherently (Y/N). The reason he’d fallen in love with her.

While he was distracted, her boot seemed to catch and down she went, flailing, stuck in Legolas’ arms. But the elf was quicker and he caught his human, landing in the snow first as her warm cushion.

The snow tickled his ears and ran wet against his back. It would have been an incredibly uncomfortable feeling if she wasn’t lying on him. “You planned this,” he said over her mad giggles.

“Maybe.”

He grabbed her pink cheeks and kissed her. Everything about her was cold. He should have given her the coat sooner, forced the gloves on her hands, brought her inside for tea. But in this moment, all he could think about was her weight on him, the closeness they now shared, and her soft lips that he didn’t want to give back.

“Come home with me.”

Her brows flew up. “A human in Mirkwood?”

“Exactly,” he said.

That fond smile appeared before she kissed him once more.

@emrfangirl @misslongcep @raindancer2004 @ladybugg1235 @xxbyimm @burningcoffeetimetravel @fizzyxcustard @fire-flv @nerdbirdsworld @dashesofink @teagarages @dark-angel-be-thirsty-af @zulfiya-the-warrior-princess @winchesterandpie

#legolas x reader #legolas x human!reader #lotr #lotr fanfiction #lotr fanfic #lotr fic #orlando bloom x reader

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beyondthebracken · 5 years

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And another reason why I love Boromir. I'm so dumb, I painted characters for my visual novel without thinking of a story/plot line first. Low and behold I just so happened to stumble across this video and I knew exactly what to write. The intro to my VN begins with the daughter of a king who's rule is failing(lol but not lol coz I almost cried by the end). She (her name's Eniyad btw) ponders about it in a good way until her life basically turns really bad after her father is injured. He begins to be power hungry and arrogant to his subjects (like Denethor but worse) which ultimately leads his daughter to leave the kingdom. The daughter tells the story to her own newborn child, who she then puts into a basket to flow on a river (yep couldn't think of anything else) so that her child can live freely in another kingdom unlike her. Then spoiler alert she burns herself next to a temple😐. (Omds i just realised now that's like FARAMIR but not faramir.OMDS) All in all, Thank you Boromir, his longing for home and the love he has of Gondor will always be respected, appreciated and loved by me.

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heatherinthesunshine · 5 years

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The Party of the Poe

Shipwrecked Comedy is having a fan-creation contest to celebrate 5 years so here is my contribution: a fanfic/script/thing imagining what would happen if Poe Party was actually the Fellowship of the Ring instead of a Murder Mystery Dinner Party/Gala for Friends Potluck. Watch Poe Party first because my thing has spoilers and also because it won't make sense unless you watch Shipwrecked Comedy’s brilliant webseries: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLs2T_dNZ-XW6UjWC-qUbZSWJyCLFmsdPP.

The Party of the Poe

By Heather

A fan work, based on Edgar Allan Poe’s Murder Mystery Dinner Party by Shipwrecked Comedy and The Lord of the Rings by JRR Tolkien.

Chapter 1 – A Shadow of a Past

It was many and many a year ago…

[Edgar Allan Poe is sitting at his desk, writing furiously. He mutters to himself and crosses out a line. After a few moments there is an urgent a knocking at the door.]

POE: What is that rapping at my chamber door?

[He goes to the door and opens it. Annabel Lee is at the door, visibly shaken.]

POE: Ah the beautiful Annabel Lee! Hello! You are looking very beautiful today!

[Lenore has come to the door as well.]

LENORE: What’s wrong Anna-banana?

ANNABEL LEE: I was cleaning my mantelpiece while waiting for Eddie to pick me up after his volunteer shift sewing teddy-bears for the children’s hospital, and I found an envelope. I opened it and this ring fell out and it landed in the fire and strange writing appeared on it and Oh Edgar I’m frightened!

[Lenore snatches the ring and looks closely at the writing.]

LENORE: Hey, this is the One Ring!

[Poe and Annabel stare at her.]

LENORE: What? I saw it in one of those dusty old books in the library. Not like there’s anything ELSE to do around here!

ANNABEL: What is the One Ring?

LENORE: It basically lets you manipulate everybody. Like, one ring to rule them all. Sounds pretty great t.b.h.

POE: [Quickly takes the ring] NOT something to be left lying around. [He gives the ring back to Annabel.]

ANNABEL: What should we do about it?

LENORE: I know! You can go talk to JRR Tolkien! He’ll know what to do. He’s having a panel and book signing in DC today!

POE: That’s awfully convenient.

ANNABEL: Oh but what about Eddie? We were going to go dancing! And he’s so smart, I’m sure he’ll have some ideas!

[Poe scowls deeply.]

LENORE: [Glances at Poe] Well the panel starts in an hour, so you two should leave right now. I’ll tell Eddie, and he can meet you there!

[Annabel and Poe set off for DC. Lenore heads next door to Annabel’s house.]

[Enter Eddie]

EDDIE: Lenore, what are you doing here? Where is Annabel?

LENORE: Today has been so cray. Annabel found the One Ring.

EDDIE: The One Ring! So it IS in this house! I suspected as much when I began courting her. Where is it? Give it to me!

LENORE: Umm… It’s not here anymore. Annabel took it with her.

EDDIE: Annabel! That naïve girl! Annabel has insufficient wit to handle a treasure such as that. And you were a fool to let her walk off with it. But no matter. Tell me where she has gone.

If you join with me we can share the Ring.

LENORE: Ok ONE everyone knows that only one person can wield the Ring at a time and TWO I would never wrong my girl Annabel like that! My lips are sealed.

EDDIE: Then I will find her myself, and you will remain here until I do. [He locks her in Annabel’s study and leaves.]

LENORE: I am LITERALLY a ghost. [She escapes though a wall.]

Chapter 2 – Nine is a Party

[Meanwhile, Poe and Annabel have arrived at a cozy bookshop in DC, as have many other authors. The Panel of Tolkien begins…]

TOLKIEN: You have been called here, authors from various time periods and literary traditions. Called, I say, though I have not called you to me. For the One Ring has departed Middle Earth and been found here, in Baltimore, and it is we who sit here who must determine the fate of both worlds.

TOLKIEN: But first, I will explain the history of the Ring. This is the tale, as I know it…

[Eleven hours later…]

TOLKIEN: … and Frodo of the Nine Fingers and Samwise the Brave were at last successful in casting the Ring into the fire of Mount Doom and destroying Sauron once and for all, or so it was thought. But now here is the Ring. What shall we do with it?

WILDE: [Aside] Next time I’m insisting on the theatrical cut.

DOSTOEVSKY: Surely we must destroy it, but how? We do not have the means to destroy it here, and we do not know how to get to Mordor from America.

LENORE: [Materializes] Hey guys! Spoiler alert, Eddie is actually a bad guy. He wants the Ring for himself, and he’s on his way here to take it.

POE: Lenore, how did you even get here?

LENORE: Oh, apparently teleportation is one of my ghost powers! Cool, huh?

WELLS: If I can just have a few moments to measure Lenore’s teleportative ability, I may be able to calibrate my prototype time machine to create a portal to Middle Earth! Lenore, will you help me?

[They exit]

TOLKIEN: If we can get to Middle Earth, we must send the Ring into the Fire. Who will take it?

POE: Ok, hear me out. What if we give the ring to one of my ravens, and have the raven fly to Mordor and drop it into Mount Doom? Quick, low-budget, and no one needs to leave home.

BRONTE: I think if a bird would work, they would have done that the first time, don’t you?

[General sounds of agreement]

TOLKIEN: Yes, a party on foot does seem to be traditional.

HEMINGWAY: Besides, your ravens just fly around aimlessly as if they have never been trained. You’re a terrible owner.

POE: Hey! I pride myself on being a very good raven owner. Alright, fine. How about we do it once with all of the walking, and then try again with a raven and then we’ll see what is what.

WILDE: Yes, but we only have the one ring. [Smirks] Get it?

POE: Ok well if we’re not using ravens, who is going to take the Ring?

EMERSON: I suppose I could take it. I’m accustomed to spending lots of time outdoors wandering through the Massachusetts woods, the leaves fluttering softly like…

POE: [Interrupting] I will die before I see the Ring in the hands of a Transcendentalist!

[The argument grows louder and louder. Annabel looks around concerned. Suddenly she speaks…]

ANNABEL: I will take it. [Everyone goes quiet.] I will take the Ring… though I do not know the way.

TOLKIEN: Thank you Annabel. I would not wish to force this burden on you, but I believe it is right for you to take it, if you take it willingly.

POE: But surely you won’t send her off alone!

TOLKIEN: Certainly not! You at least shall go.

DOSTOEVSKY: I will also help you bear this burden. Mordor cannot be worse than Siberian prison.

ELIOT: I have brought along the Duke of Coventry and Humphrey Cadwallader for your protection. You have my sword.

HEMINGWAY: And my guns [winks].

BRONTE: And my axe! [Pause] What? I like sharp objects!

ALCOTT: Yes, we women need to stick together.

SHELLEY: Besides, you’ll need someone of intelligence on this quest. Count me in.

DICKINSON: And I’ll come too!

TOLKIEN: Alright [counting] that makes eight people in the party…

DICKINSON: Nine. It’s nine people.

TOLKIEN: I was really hoping for nine. We need one more volunteer.

DICKINSON: I said I was going. I make nine.

WILDE: Oh what the heck, I’ll go. Could be fun?

TOLKIEN: Excellent. Nine it is.

DICKINSON: I’m right… oh forget you guys, I’ll just stay home.

WELLS: [Returning] If you’ll all come this way, Lenore and I are ready to send you to Middle Earth…

Chapter 3 – An Abridged Journey

NARRATOR: This is where I must jump in to speed up the tale, for it grows in the telling. Wells had transported the company to a beautiful mountain village, and it was from there that our heroes began their journey south. The first obstacle in their path was a range of misty mountains. They decided to take a pass over the mountains but were soon caught in a terrible blizzard, and forced to retreat. Dostoevsky, who was most suitably dressed for this type of weather, was able to get everyone off the mountain, but was killed in an avalanche. There was much grieving. The party then went under the mountains, through some dim and foreboding mines. Here they lost Mary Shelley, who sacrificed herself against a terrible monster (which they were pretty sure was not named Karen). There was more grieving. Next, the party came to a beautiful forest…

ALCOTT: I could stay in this forest forever!

NARRATOR: She did.

NARRATOR: And at last it was time to make a choice…

HEMINGWAY: We should head west, to Minas Tirith, and aid in the war effort. This Ring would be a mighty gift to turn the tide in their favor.

POE: No, we should head east, to the Mountain of Shadow, as was agreed at the council.

HEMINGWAY: I trust the strength of men in combat over this subterfuge.

POE: That’s because you lack all subtlety.

HEMINGWAY: Well why don’t we let the lady decide?

POE: Yes, the lady.

NARRATOR: The lady was, at this moment, in the process of being carried off by a group of rather large orcs. The party sprang to action. At last Annabel was rescued, but Hemingway lay dead, shot by one too many orc arrows. There was yet more grieving to be done.

POE: You valued brevity, so I will simply say farewell, my dear, uh…

WILDE: Friend?

POE: Mmmm… acquaintance.

ELIOT: What should we do now? Hemingway wasn’t wrong. Gondor does need help in its fight.

ANNABEL: I could not ask any more of you to die for me. I will go to Mordor alone.

POE: Great idea Annabel. George – you, Oscar, and Charlotte should go to Minas Tirith. Annabel and I will go to Mordor.

ANNABEL: I said “alone”.

POE: Right. Yes. Alone. With me.

Chapter 4 – Of Battles, Briefly

NARRATOR: George Eliot, Oscar Wilde, and Charlotte Bronte continued on to Minas Tirith. They arrived to find it under siege.

BRONTE: Well I suppose it’s time to get our hands dirty. [She strides into battle, swinging her axe] One… Two… Three…

WILDE: Oh I don’t know about all of this…

[The Witch King of Angmar, leader of the Nazgul, lands before Wilde and Eliot. He dismounts and hits Wilde with his giant mace. Wilde falls.]

ELIOT: NO! Oscar! [She kneels by him] Like a brother you were to me, for a little while. [Standing and turning to face the Witch King] Ringwraith! Darken this world no more!

WITCH KING: You fool! No man can kill me!

ELIOT: I [removes hat] George Eliot [removes moustache] am a woman. [She runs him through].

WITCH KING: [Dying] Argh no dammit. This is the SECOND time this has happened to me. Oh it’s so embarrassing.

Chapter 5 – A Song of Fire and Also More Fire

NARRATOR: I could tell you all about the trials faced by Annabel and Poe on their journey to The Land of Shadow. How Eddie the Banker found them in the wilderness and became their guide, causing no little strife between our two heroes. How Eddie tried to betray them but was eaten by a giant spider. I could tell you of the long trek through the desert with little water, and less food. How at the end, Annabel became so weak that Poe had to carry her. But it is a long and depressing tale and I do not wish to dwell on it. Suffice it to say that at last our heroes made it to their destination, a chamber carved into the side of Mount Doom.

POE: Well, here we are. Cast the Ring into the fire, Annabel, and let us be done with this ridiculous quest.

ANNABEL: Now that it comes to it, it is difficult to part with. It whispers in my mind. I could claim it as my own, and become a queen, great and terrible. All would love me and despair.

POE: We already do. Just get rid of it and I’ll get you a nicer ring.

ANNABEL: Wait, was that a proposal?

POE: No. Uh yes. Uh maybe?

[Annabel casts the Ring into the fires of Mount Doom. She sighs with relief.]

ANNABEL: It’s over. It’s done.

[Annabel and Poe slowly head out of the chamber and make their way down the mountain. Suddenly, with a great roar, the mountain erupts. Annabel and Poe cling together on an outcrop as rivers of lava flow all around them.]

ANNABEL: I am glad that you are with me, Edgar, here at the end of all things.

[She looks up at the sky. A flock of birds is flying towards them.]

ANNABEL: Oh Edgar! The ravens! The ravens are coming!

[The ravens pass overhead and continue on. Poe coughs uncomfortably. Just as all seems to be lost, Annabel and Poe dematerialize, then rematerialize.]

Chapter 6 – Party’s End:

[Poe and Annabel look around. They are back in the bookshop in Washington D.C. All of the other members of the Party are there as well, and they are applauding.]

POE: What happened? Are we dead?

WELLS: No! It is a convenient side effect of this form of travel! When you died in Middle Earth you awoke back here!

POE: [Frowns] Does this mean Eddie is also back?

LENORE: No, he must have traveled to Middle Earth using a different method. He was definitely really eaten by a giant spider. Too bad, so sad!

[Tolkien coughs to get everyone’s attention.]

TOLKIEN: The Ringbearer has fulfilled her quest! Praise her with great praise! Thanks to you and to all of the Party, a terrible threat has been vanquished.

ANNABEL: Is the darkness gone forever?

TOLKIEN: No my dear. The darkness is never gone forever. That is why each of us must return to our own places and times, and fight the darkness however it may come to us there.

NARRATOR: There were many tearful goodbyes. Dostoevsky insisted that the entire group take a shot, in celebration of the love than had grown amongst them. Hemingway took a few friendly jabs at Poe. Eventually, the group dispersed, and Poe, Annabel, and Lenore made their way home.

ANNABEL: Isn’t it strange to think that we went on that great adventure to save the world, and no one in Baltimore knows anything about it?

POE: Oh, I don’t like attention anyway.

Epilogue

NARRATOR: As you know, the time comes when a Ringbearer must make one final journey. And it is said when Annabel sailed over the sea that Edgar Allan Poe went with her. And perhaps it was due to Poe’s great love for Annabel that the Lords of the West permitted it.

They took the last ship to the West, Poe and his Annabel Lee

There they loved with a love that was more than love, in a kingdom by the sea.

The End

#shipwreckedcomedy #shipwrecked comedy #shipwreckedfive #poeparty #poe party

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wellplacedrocket · 5 years

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I Visited the Mormon Temple Square and it Really Reminded Me of BioShock Infinite

I don’t go on a lot of (read: any) religious touristy sort of adventures, so maybe the Mormon Temple Square isn’t all that weird in the grand scheme of things. But I’ll be damned if it didn’t give me hints of Columbia, the city in BioShock Infinite. Hear me out on this.

I want to caveat before I go further that it’s probably gonna seem like I’m really picking on Mormons here. I’m not. Mormonism is absolutely no weirder than any other religion, and there are plenty of Mormons (probably most of them) who are much smarter, more hardworking, successful, and better to their fellow man than I am. If you roll your eyes at scripture of Moroni, but turn around and worship Jesus or Vishnu or Odin or Buddha, and follow the World of God as explained to you by Muhammad, then your cognitive dissonance is so thick, so dense, that it must throw off compasses. I don’t think religious or spiritual people are stupid for being that way.

Anyway.

I was in Salt Lake City with a few hours to kill, and figured the Mormon Temple Square would be the one thing I couldn’t get anywhere else, so why the hell not? Let’s get my Mormon on. Many of the buildings in the Temple Square are made with this gorgeous white granite that pops up nearby, and so to the eye a lot of it looked like the White City of Gondor.

The visitors centers are small museums that lay out the history, scripture highlights, and current tenants of Mormon theology.

As a kid, I was raised Catholic-lite, but I’ve never been to the Vatican, and I wonder if there’s similar stuff anywhere else among worldwide Christian churches. That Noah’s Ark museum in Kentucky, maybe? The tone of much of this stuff seems to be to reassure outsiders that hey, Jesus is still just the best! He’s the best, you guys. We’re not any different from your local bake sale-having church people at all! In fact, there doesn’t seem to be much that explicitly tries to contrast with other Christian sects whatsoever, until you get to the Book of Mormon (the actual Book of Mormon) stuff that takes place in the Western Hemisphere.

A lot of this stuff came across to me as a “here’s how to be” kind of children’s book in museum form. It’s not really propaganda, I guess, because conduct prescriptions are what religions are supposed to do. However, the exhibits and artwork they had showing important people in Mormon scripture and the paramount religious events in their lives started giving me weird, familiar vibes.

A 19th century New Yorker who has some sort of religious awakening, begins to preach, gathers a cadre of like minded true believers, establishes a hyper-ardent offshoot Christian sect in the U.S., insists upon racism as one of the pillars of this new theology, is revered as a prophet to his people, gains power and respect (which he abuses), and begins an exodus of his followers out of American society to found their own civilization which will eventually prove hostile to the U.S.? Oh, you thought I was describing Joseph Smith or Brigham Young? Well, surprise, it’s (also) Zachary Hale Comstock, villain of Bioshock Infinite.

I’m not the first to draw this comparison. Here’s a much better article than I could hope to write from an anonymous blogger who claims to be an ex Mormon. And Bioshock creative head Ken Levine mentioned in a Mother Jones article:

There’s a bit of Joseph Smith in [Comstock], a bit of Teddy Roosevelt…Roosevelt was a very progressive figure in many ways. But he was also what you’d probably call a neoconservative in his view of America’s role in the world. So I have trouble comparing Comstock to him directly. Also, I’d have trouble just comparing Comstock to Joseph Smith or Brigham Young. I mean, the American-centric nature of the religion that he forms has some similarities to Mormonism, but there’s nothing in the Mormon church that approached the level of sinisterness you’d find in a Comstock.

In the game (where the next bunch of linked images are from), Comstock is a religious figure with a hyper-nationalism for his own vociferously racist vision of America, which never actually existed and is more twisted than even our own real history. There’s a part of the game where you play through a museum dedicated to the history of Columbia, the city-state Comstock founded, and it puts a very religious sort of spin on the founding of the United States and points in its history. Abraham Lincoln is called “The Apostate” and is remembered as an insidious Satan figure, while John Wilkes Booth is a saint. The Confederate Army, being the true soul of America to these zealots, is led by the angelic spirit of George Washington. The locals are generally hostile.

All of this stuff is understandably batshit, because they were trying to write a villain in Comstock. I’m not saying Mormons are or were evil like this guy. I’m saying it seems pretty likely that the devs took Mormon lore, cranked the evil and steampunky sci-fi up to 11, and out came Comstock and Columbia.

The American founding fathers appear in Mormon religious works, notably in writings by Wilford Woodruff, fourth president of the LDS Church, describing religious visions:

The spirits of the dead gathered around me, wanting to know why we did not redeem them ... These were the signers of the Declaration of Independence ... I thought it very singular, that notwithstanding so much work had been done, and yet nothing had been done for them ... I straightway went into the baptismal font and called upon brother McCallister [sic] to baptize me for the signers of the Declaration of Independence.

The LDS Church is extremely PR conscious and has left doctrinal, institutional racism behind, but it’s a poorly kept secret that the early days didn’t look too good. Unlike the populations of other Western Territories (Colorado and California in particular), the Mormons mostly took a pass on the Civil War, though to their credit, there isn’t much evidence to suggest explicit sympathy for the Confederacy. However, here’s Brigham Young:

Shall I tell you the law of God in regard to the African race? If the white man who belongs to the chosen seed mixes his blood with the seed of Cain, the penalty, under the law of God, is death on the spot. This will always be so. The nations of the earth have transgressed every law that God has given, they have changed the ordinances and broken every covenant made with the fathers, and they are like a hungry man that dreameth that he eateth, and he awaketh and behold he is empty.

And now here’s Comstock:

What exactly was the Great Emancipator emancipating the Negro from? From his daily bread? From the nobility of honest work? From wealthy patrons who sponsored them from cradle to grave? From clothing and shelter? And what have they done with their freedom? Why, go to Finkton, and you shall find out. No animal is born free, except the white man. And it is our burden to care for the rest of creation.

The Mormons flirted with armed rebellion but eventually backed down when the United States and local native nations made it clear they were not fucking around. Joseph Smith, a 100% legit, honest to God prophet to his people, had some pretty dark things to say about the U.S., especially the godless northeast cities:

Nevertheless, let the bishop go unto the city of New York, also to the city of Albany, and also to the city of Boston, and warn the people of those cities with the sound of the gospel, with a loud voice, of the desolation and utter abolishment which await them if they do reject these things. For if they do reject these things the hour of their judgment is nigh, and their house shall be left unto them desolate.

And here’s Woodruff again, in a prophesy “confirmed” by Young:

While you stand in the towers of the Temple and your eyes survey this glorious valley filled with cities and villages, occupied by tens of thousands of Latter-day Saints, you will then call to mind this visitation of President Young and his company. You will say: That was in the days when Presidents Benson and Maughan presided over us; that was before New York was destroyed by an earthquake. It was before Boston was swept into the sea, by the sea heaving itself beyond its bounds; it was before Albany was destroyed by fire; yea, at that time you will remember the scenes of this day.

Well, here’s a scene in Bioshock Infinite that shows a time-travel flash forward to the future year 1984, what Comstock will do if not stopped. He floats Columbia right over New York and starts bombing:

How the hell do they not get shot down? Sci-fi weapons or shields, I’m guessing. Columbia imagines if a civilization of religious secessionists hadn’t decided to chill out in the end, the way the Mormons did.

If you need any more convincing of the connection here, in BioShock Infinite, one of the protagonists who the player spends a lot of time with and who drives the story is Comstock’s daughter Elizabeth. She is kept a gilded-cage prisoner and wants out of Columbia, and much of the action is about helping her to escape. SPOILER ALERT FOR A 5-YEAR OLD GAME: Elizabeth’s parentage isn’t what it seems, she was actually given the name Anna at birth. Well, there was a famous ex-wife of Brigham Young, one of 55, who decided she wasn’t about that life, alleged domestic abuse against Young and filed for divorce (both a huge deal for their time), and ultimately wrote an autobiographical account called Wife No. 19. This woman’s name? Ann Eliza Webb.

No doubt you could substitute any other religion and find similar parallels to BioShock Infinite in art and lore, but the Americanness of the LDS Church is what sells this idea to me, how both the real life Mormon church and the fictional characters and civilization draw from the cultural fundamentals of this country, as well as our absolute worst elements. The obvious difference is the Mormons wrestle with the racism and violence in their church’s past, and for sure try to do good works in the world today. Not so for Comstock and Columbia. But that’s part of what made them such compelling villains.

#BioShock Infinite #Xbox #Xbox 360 #Sony PlayStation #PlayStation 3 #PC #2K Games #Irrational Games #BioShock

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thranduil-is-my-king · 6 years

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King and Lionheart (General)

Rating: General Ship: Aragorn/Legolas Warnings: Implied Smut (at the end) Tags: Friends to Lovers, Fluff, Angst, Coming Together Characters: Aragorn, Legolas, Reader, Arwen, Gimli, Gandalf

Summary: You, the reader, was part of the fellowship and after the Ring is destroyed and Aragorn becomes the King of Gondor while getting Arwen back in the process, you help a heartbroken elf get the love of his life. (Summary is bad, I know. I'm terrible at summaries.) Word Count: 2431 Written for: All the Aralas shippers out there! A/N: This is my first LotR fanfic! Let me know what you think! I'm going strictly off the movies at this point but I'm going to hopefully start reading the books soon. So, if there's something that seems wrong or missing that isn't in the movies, I apologize now. Hope you guys enjoy!

This fic and title is based off the multiple Aralas videos that have the song King and Lionheart by Monsters and Men.

This was written and beta’d by myself so any mistakes in this are mine.

The Explicit version of this fic is here!

~*~* READ THIS BEFORE READING *~*~

In my world of writing for Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit, you need to know:

- All elves have a One (only one One a lifetime)

- If the elf’s One is mortal, when the two mate, the mortal becomes immortal. (Yes, I know, it doesn’t happen that way canonically but in my ‘verse, it does.)

- Some males can become pregnant. (I know this sounds weird but my love for ABO is making it a thing, don’t like, don’t read. Or ignore that in this fic because, spoiler alert, it doesn’t happen in this one.)

- Known Carriers: Thranduil | Legolas

~*~* READ ABOVE BEFORE READING *~*~

Translations:

Mellon nîn- My friend Melleth nîn- My love

These are at the bottom as well.

"Gimli!" You call out walking down the hallways of the Kingdom of Gondor. "Yes, Y/N?" Gimli replies, coming around the corner. "Have you seen Legolas? I've been looking for him for a while now." You ask, walking closer to the dwarf. "I have not. You should check on the top level, he likes overlooking the view." Gimli suggests, shrugging. "Alright, thank you." You say, nodding at him, starting to make your way to the top level. ~~~~ You sigh, spotting Legolas standing at the short wall on the top level, "Legolas, there you are. I've been looking for you for a while now, I was getting worried." He stays silent, looking ahead towards the horizon. You walk closer to him, putting your hand on his shoulder. "Are you alright?" You ask softly. He sighs, "I'm fine. I just needed some air." You raise your eyebrow, looking at him. "Legolas, I have known you for a very long time. I know when you're lying and when you aren't okay. Right now, I'm seeing both of those things. What's wrong?" Legolas shakes his head, not looking at you. "Was it something I did?" You ask, wondering why he won't speak. "No, not at all. It's just- I don't- Forget it, I'll be fine." Legolas sighs, letting his head fall. "I will not forget it." You walk in front of him, putting your finger under his chin to tilt his head up to look into your eyes. "You are one of my closest friends. I will never not at least try to find out what's bothering you. Please, Legolas. Please tell me." "It is nothing that you can help, mellon nîn. No one can." Legolas whispers. "Will you still tell me? I do not like seeing you like this." You ask, not giving up. Legolas opens his mouth to speak before closing it. "I... It has to do with Aragorn." "Aragorn?" You ask, puzzled before your eyes narrow. "Did he say something to you?" "No, no, not at all. He didn't do anything. Well, actually, he did but it wasn't to intentionally hurt me." "Then what did he do?" "You have to promise me that you won't say anything." "Of course." "He... He loves Arwen." Legolas whispers so soft that it was hard for you to hear it. "I apologize but I'm still slightly confused." You admit, tilting your head. "I- I think that Aragorn might be..." Legolas trails off, dropping his head. "Might be...?" You prompt. "I think he might be my One." Legolas says quickly. Your eyebrows shoot up, your eyes widening. "Oh..." "I know, I just, I... I don't know what to do." Legolas murmurs. "I do know that I can't tell him-" "What? Why?" You interrupt. "What do you mean why? He's with Arwen! He loves her, not me!" Legolas blurts, looking at you with pain in his eyes. "Legolas. You have to tell him. If you even think that he could possibly be your One, then he is, you know that. You can't not tell him, you will fade if you do." "Then that is what will happen." Legolas says softly. You're speechless for a moment before you speak, "It will not! I will not let you fade when there is something I can do to stop it!" You walk around him, starting your walk to Aragorn. Legolas stands there for a moment before the look of realization crosses over his face and he walks after you. "Y/N! No! You can't!" You keep walking before Legolas grabs your arm. "Legolas. If you will not tell him, I will." "I can't! He loves her! I will not take him away from that love! He doesn't even love me that way, he thinks of me as a friend. Nothing more, nothing less. I won't trap him to be with me." "Trap him? How could you trap him? Legolas, do you not see how much you have to give to him? How amazing you are? You're one of the best fighters, archers, and elves that I have been honored to have met. Anyone who thinks otherwise is blind." You tell him. After giving him a moment to process your words, you speak again. "Legolas. You have to at least try. You do not know that he doesn't love you. Not for sure." Legolas looks at you, looking like a scared child. "W- What if he doesn't love me that way? What if it ruins everything we have? I cannot lose him, Y/N. I can't. That would kill me more than leaving will." "Stop with the negative 'what if's.' What about the positive one's? What if he does love you? What if you find the love of your life in that man? What if you become the happiest that you've ever been in your entire life? Legolas, you cannot let such happiness slip from your fingers after all that you have been through." You tell him. When you look into his eyes, you see a flicker of hope, of love, of happiness. "H- How would I tell him?" Legolas asks you. The question brings a small smile to your face, seeing that he may be considering talking to Aragorn. "Well, you could blurt out the truth but I'm guessing that you probably wouldn't want to do that. Honestly, I do not know how you would tell him." You confess, your smile fading. Legolas' face falls, trying to think of a way. "There is no easy way to do this, there never is." "No, there isn't. But once you get through it, and he tells you that he loves you, it will be worth it." "If." "No. No if. He will. I have seen the way he looks at you, Legolas. There is no way that he doesn't love you." You say, pointing your finger at him. "You could go down there and just tell him that you love him." Legolas' eyes widen, "I could do no such thing. I... I want it to be special. I don't want to just blurt it out. I want to work up to it." "You've been working up to this for some time now, Legolas." You say, smirking. He smiled, "Stop. But seriously, I want to work up to it. I don't think I could ever blurt something out like this to anyone, let alone him." "You really love him, don't you?" You ask, smiling. "I do." "Then go tell him. You do not have to blurt it out. Do it your way. Let your instincts guide you, Legolas. Do what feels right." You tell him, placing your hand on his shoulder. You both stand there for a moment, looking at each other before Legolas starts smiling. "Thank you, Y/N. You are a true friend." "You're welcome. Just one question." "What is it?" "Will I have to follow you and stand outside the door to make sure you don't freak out and run?" You ask, smirking. Legolas laughs, "No. No, I think I can do this." You chuckle, "Good. Now go get your One, mellon nîn." He smiles, nodding his head at you before walking past you. You smile and turn to go back to go back to your room when Gandalf is behind you. "You did good." The wizard tells you, smiling. "I believe I did." You say, walking towards him. "I think I have figured it out. Aragorn is the king, Legolas is the lionheart, and you, you are the matchmaker." Gandalf says, his chuckle turning into a laugh at the end. You laugh with him, throwing your head back. "Yes, yes I am." ~~~~ *Third Point of View* ~~~~ "Legolas?" Arwen called, seeing Legolas walking down the hallway. Legolas freezes, not expecting to see Arwen before speaking to Aragorn. Legolas takes a breath before walking again. "Arwen. It is nice to see you." He greets, smiling a little. "It is nice to see you as well. How are you?" Arwen asks, stopping in front of him. "I am well. How are you?" Legolas answers, trying not to flee.

"I am alright, but no matter what you say, Legolas, I can tell that you are extremely nervous about something. What is it?" Arwen asks, tilting her head. Legolas starts to panic even more, looking anywhere except in Arwen's eyes. "I- I don't know what you mean. I'm f- fine." "Legolas, never in the time that I've known you, have you ever stuttered or looked this nervous. Something is bothering you and I have a feeling that it has to do with myself and Aragorn. Am I wrong?" Arwen asks, looking Legolas in the eye. "What? N- No, it doesn't. I..." Legolas stutters before Arwen strengthens her gaze, causing Legolas to break. "Yes, it does." "What is it? Did we do something wrong?" Arwen asks, concerned. "No! No, not at all. You and Aragorn have done nothing wrong." Legolas assures. "Were you going to go tell Aragorn that you love him?" Arwen asks. Legolas freezes, staring at her, not moving for several moments. "Legolas. Were you?" Arwen asks, bringing Legolas back to the world. "Uh, I- I have to go." Legolas mutters, turning to leave. Arwen grabs his arm, freezing him in his place. "Legolas. If you leave right now instead of telling Aragorn that you love him, I will hurt you." Arwen tells him, shocking Legolas. Legolas whips around looking at Arwen. "W- What? You are not mad?" "No. I would never be mad at either of you for loving each other. Especially when he is your One." Arwen replies. "You know? H- How do you know? How long?" Legolas questions, relaxing a bit. Arwen chuckles, "I've known ever since I saw the love and admiration in your eyes when you looked at him. I've known ever since I saw the same emotions in his eyes when he looks at you. I can see how sad you both get when you think the other does not see you." Arwen admits, giving Legolas a moment to process before speaking again. "I always knew that Aragorn was not my One or even someone that I could love for the rest of my life. I was wondering how and when I would tell him about this but I knew it would happen when I saw how much you loved each other." "I- I don't have the slightest idea on what to say." Legolas says quietly, speechless. "There's only one thing. Promise me that you will take care of him, that you will forever love him. Promise me that." Legolas smiles, "I will. I promise." Arwen smiles back, "Thank you. Now, go tell him that you love him. It will make him feel a lot better." Legolas' eyes narrow and his eyebrows scrunch together in concern, "What is wrong with Aragorn? Is he sick?" "No, no. Not at all. He's perfectly healthy. The reason why he is sad and that I am out here, is that I told him that he was not my One and that I was blocking him from an infinitely stronger love than we ever had." Arwen answers, shocking Legolas for what seemed the millionth time in their short conversation. "Arwen?" "Yes?" "Thank you, so much. I will never be able to thank you enough." "You are welcome though there is nothing to thank me for. I would never stand in the way of such a love." Arwen answers, smiling comfortingly. "Now, go." Legolas grins before putting his hand to his chest to hug Arwen the elvish way. As she hugs back, he starts his way to Aragorn's room. ~~~~ Aragorn looks up at the door as he hears a knock. "Who is it?" Aragorn asks, putting his head back into his hands. "Legolas." Aragorn sighs before calling out for him to come in. Legolas enters the room before closing the door. He walks closer to Aragorn. "You can sit if you want." Aragorn offers, not looking up. Legolas considers standing but takes Aragorn's offer to sit on the bed, next to him. "Aragorn?" "Yes?" "I need to speak with you about something. It's important." "What is it, mellon nîn?" Aragorn asks, not looking up. "I need you to look at me first." Aragorn sighs before looking up and looking in Legolas strikingly blue eyes. Legolas almost looks away from the pain in Aragorn's eyes. "I- I just spoke with Y/N before bumping into Arwen in the hallway. And, they both helped me get the courage and confidence to tell you something that I’ve been wanting to tell you for a long time." Legolas says, sounding more confident than he thought he would. "What is it?" Legolas takes a deep breath before speaking, "Aragorn. I- I think... No, I know, I know that- that you're my One." Aragorn jerks back, his eyes widening. He stares at Legolas for a few moments, not being able to move. "Aragorn, please. Please say something, anything. I need a reaction." Legolas asks, desperate. When Aragorn still doesn't answer, tears come to Legolas' eyes. "Never mind. Forget I said anything. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." Legolas says, his voice breaking. He stands up, starting towards the door. Legolas moving out of Aragorn's sight brings him out of his shock, looking at Legolas leaving. Before Legolas even hears Aragorn behind him, Aragorn is grabbing his arm, turning him around, and smashing his lips against his in a hard, passionate kiss. Legolas' eyes widen before he realizes what's happening and closes them, beginning to kiss back. Legolas wraps his arms around Aragorn's neck, pressing himself closer to the king. Aragorn smiles into the kiss and wraps his arms around Legolas' waist, holding onto him. Aragorn is the one to pull back, needing air. The two look into each other's eyes, catching their breath. Aragorn reaches up to wipe a tear off of Legolas' cheek. "I love you, Legolas. I always have and I always will." Aragorn confesses, feeling a weight lifted off his chest. Legolas grins, "I love you too, Aragorn. I will never stop loving you." This time it is Legolas who initiates the kiss, softly placing his lips onto Aragorn's.

Just as they do with everything that they've ever done, the two pour everything they are into their kiss. The ex-ranger begins to move backward towards the bed, pulling Legolas with him, never unlocking their lips. Once Aragorn is close to the bed, he turns himself and Legolas around before pushing Legolas down onto the bed. Aragorn smiles, climbing over the elf to start their night of coming together in the best way.

Translations:

Mellon nîn- My friend Melleth nîn- My love

Tags: @bluemoon102

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justanothercinemaniac · 7 years

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Epic Movie (Re)Watch #200 - The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King

Spoilers Below

Have I seen it before: Yes

Did I like it then: Yes.

Do I remember it: Yes.

Did I see it in theaters: No.

Format: Blu-ray

1) The prologue.

This first scene of the last film does a number of things well. For one, Sméagol suddenly becomes a much more sympathetic and tragic character. We see how happy this creature was before being corrupted by the evil of the ring; before becoming Gollum. And that’s the other thing this scene does well: we understand better than ever how evil the ring is. How quickly it can turn good people bad. This sets the stakes high for the final chapter of the trilogy. Originally meant for The Two Towers, its inclusion in this film works so much better I think. Also it’s worth noting that the transformation from practical Gollum makeup to CG is seamless and visceral.

2) I love how freaking angry Gimli gets upon running into Merry & Pippin alive (after searching so desperately for them in Two Towers) before being tempted by what they’re smoking.

3) It’s worth noting that I HAVE watched the extended editions of all three films and while I usually forget about the scenes added in those versions, Saruman’s death scene (which is cut in this film) is always one I miss. It is a nice note of finality for such a major character in the trilogy.

youtube

4) Much as this film really covers Frodo’s eventual corruption by the ring, Aragorn’s journey is also complete. Over the course of the trilogy we see him go from a loner who wants nothing to do with leadership into the king of men. This film is very much about Aragorn accepting that part of himself, becoming the leader he was always meant to be, and we see it in many little ways. He takes a moment for himself to respect those fallen before celebrating a victory, he imparts wisdom onto Gandalf, he earns the trust of Théoden, later honors his promise to the ghost soldiers even though he could’ve used them as a weapon, and leads his army into battle in an effort to give Frodo the time he needs. By the time the credits role Aragorn fully embraces his duty as king and that’s a wonderful transformation to watch.

5) Have I mentioned I low-key ship Sam and Frodo?

Frodo: “I need you on my side.”

Sam: “I’m always on your side, Mr. Frodo.”

6) The last film very much covered Merry’s maturity, becoming invested in the war (which guides his actions in this film as well). In Return of the King we get to see Pippin grow more as a person. We see him go from a someone who doesn’t think before he acts (like when he looks into the orb and risks alerting Sauron about Frodo) to someone with deep sorrow who takes responsibility for his actions (such as when he pledges his allegiance to the Stewart of Gondor because he feels responsible for Boromir’s death). It’s a nice subplot for the film.

7) Can I just say: Théoden can be a real idiot.

Théoden [about Gondor]: “Tell me: why should we ride to the aid of those who did not come to ours?”

Dude, you made SUCH a big deal about not asking for Gondor’s aid in the last movie when you were heavily advised to do just that. And now you’re getting pissy because they didn’t give you something you said you didn’t want?

8) While Sam and Frodo’s kinship is wicked strong, that’s not to undersell how deeply connected Merry and Pippin are. They’re great friends and the sadness of their goodbye as Gandalf takes Pippin to Gondor speaks to that.

9) Okay, can I just say something? There are only three named female characters in these films I can think of who have lines: Arwen, Galadriel, and Éowyn. They’re all awesome, they’re all great. They never EVER interact with each other and while we understand both Arwen and Galadriel are dangerous women it’s only Éowyn who gets to fight in the war. And I get the books were published in the 50s and everything but come on. Some changes to improve on female presence wouldn’t kill the movie.

10)

Arwen [about Aragorn]: “If I leave him now, I will regret it forever.”

And that’s literal, because elves are immortal. I just wanted to point that out.

11) John Noble as Denethor.

While there is initially a bit of sympathy for the stewart of Gondor because he’s mourning his son Boromir, wow is that lost quickly. I am rooting for this guy to die harder than I am any other character in this series because he is such a raging asshole. I think he’s supposed to be and John Noble plays him in a very interesting way. Much like Imelda Staunton was great at making us hate Doloris Umbridge in Harry Potter, John Noble is great at making Denethor a selfish, arrogant, cruel bastard who I just want to punch in his fucking permanent scowl of a face. HE FUCKING ADMITS THAT HE WISHES FARAMIR WERE DEAD INSTEAD OF BOROMIR! I just…yeah, I’m glad when this jackass dies.

12) The Dead City always reminded me a little of the Emerald City from The Wizard of Oz. Or is that just me?

13) I apologize for this in advance.

Frodo [when he feels the Witch King near, who stabbed him in Fellowship]: “I can feel his blade.”

(GIF source unknown [if this is your GIF please let me know].)

14) At first I questioned the need to include Faramir’s skirmish with the orcs, but for one thing it shows the continued darkness which spreads across Middle Earth as well as the scale of this war. Not to mention it feeds directly into a conflict between Faramir and his jackass dad.

15) I love Éowyn, which I said as much in the last recap. But in this film she is just so freaking ready to fight for those she loves, to stand up against evil even though the sexism of Middle Earth tries to keep her off the battlefield. But she doesn’t and we get the best moment in the whole trilogy. More on that later.

16) When I was younger I never really understood why Frodo believes Sam actually stole the bread, why he sends Sam away. But now I get just how great a manipulator Gollum is and how dark the ring can be on Frodo’s soul. Gollum knows EXACTLY what the ring is doing to him, the little things it whispers to him, the greed and mistrust which is taking him. He knows because he spent (I think) five hundred years under that very same influence. He knows what Frodo is going through better than anyone which he manipulates to his advantage.

17) Sean Astin just freaking shines with his breakdown after Frodo sends him away breaks up with him (you know, after refusing to give Sam a ring). He’s come so far, sacrificing his very life, to make sure Mr. Frodo stays safe and trying to make sure the ring doesn’t take him. And he’s ALWAYS on Frodo’s side, he always trusts Frodo. But Frodo can’t do the same thing for Sam. In fact, he does the complete opposite and distrusts him so deeply he tries to get rid of him. And it’s based on NOTHING, just the manipulations of a fiend and the darkness of the ring. Astin i just so great and conveying how heavy this is on Sam, I love it.

18) Ah, the song.

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First of all, Billy Boyd’s vocals are just absolutely amazing here. They infuse the song with such grand heartache which helps it set the tone for Faramir’s attack on the orc troops. This isn’t a grand action scene, this isn’t a heroic triumph, this is a heartbreaking suicide mission made because of a son wanting to earn the love of his soulless father. And that’s why the song works as well as it does. It sets a beautiful tone.

19) Honestly, a few of these notes are just going to be me acknowledging awesome Éowyn is.

Éowyn [after some troops laugh at Merry for wanting to fight]: “Why can he not fight for those he loves?”

20) The scene where Aragorn takes the sword from Elrond is a great moment. The music, Aragorn’s demeanor, the subtleties of the cinematography, the visual of Aragorn taking the sword, it all just makes it feel like a real hero’s moment.

21) While the extended edition of this film may have some more Legolas & Gimli moments (there’s this wonderful drinking competition they get into), the bromance of the entire trio is still something I love.

Gimli [after Aragorn tries going into the dead mountain alone]: “You might as well accept it: we’re going with you, laddie.”

22) Merry is told he can’t go into battle by Théoden, that no one will carry him on their horse. Meanwhile Éowyn - who was basically told to stay at home and look after things while the men fight - says, “Screw that,” and takes Merry into battle herself. I LOVE ÉOWYN!

23) The scene with the ghosts and the dead mountain is truly eerie. Peter Jackson’s roots as a horror director really shine through in this wonderfully creepy scene and place. It’s just chilling.

24) In the long running list of why Denethor is a piece of shit: he is so freaking eager for Faramir to be dead and to have some man pain he doesn’t even check his pulse! Then he bitches about not getting help from Rohan which HE DIDN’T EVEN WANT and then gives up. Thank god for Gandalf.

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25) The initial battle of Gondor has a nice sense of scale and stakes to it, especially when we see it through the eyes of Pippin. There’s this constant sense of dread and hardship which builds tension nicely.

26) I’m not talking about the spider scene because I always hide behind my hands when that scene is going on. I fucking hate spiders, guys. I hate them. It’s a miracle I didn’t just straight up fast forward past all the spider stuff. AND IT JUST KEEPS COMING BACK! You think the spider is gone but then no, it comes back for one last attack! ENOUGH WITH THE SPIDER ALREADY!

27) Gollum is totally done with the manipulation, the tricks, all of it. As soon as Frodo reveals his intention is to destroy the ring, he loses it and just is going to solve his problem with brute force. This doesn’t really work for him though.

28) Awww, Sam comes back to rescue his boyfriend only to think he’s dead.

Sam: “Don’t leave me here alone. Don’t go where I can’t follow.”

29) A coincidence to get the character in trouble helps move the plot along. Such as when the orcs show up RIGHT AFTER Frodo gets paralyzed so they can easily capture him.

30) Through a strong sense of visuals there is a nice feeling of hope when Rohan shows up to participate in the battle of Gondor. The build up to that and the fact we see it via Merry and Éowyn works REALLY well because they - like the audience - are both new to this.

31) I always liked that Gandalf is willing to leave the main battle to save Faramir, because isn’t that what this is all about? Saving as much life as we can.

32) There are few film deaths which are quite as satisfying to me as Denethor’s death. I won’t include it hear but those who have seen the movie know exactly what happens. Know if you seek it out it does involve fire (so if that triggers you maybe best to stay away).

33) Once the freaking elephants show up to battle you KNOW this shit is epic. One thing this film does best out of all three is its battle sequences are amazing. They may be long, but they are choreographed interestingly and use a strong sense of action = reaction to them. They’re epic and totally amazing.

34) I do have a bit of a fear of death, so Gandalf’s words to Merry always bring me calm.

Gandalf [after Merry says he can’t believe it’s going to end like this]: “End? No, the journey doesn’t end here. Death is just another path we must all take.”

35) THE BEST FREAKING MOMENT IN THE ENTIRE FREAKING TRILOGY! If you only watch one moment from The Lord of the Rings, make sure you watch this one. This is all you need to see. This is beautiful and I love it and it’s awesome. Watch it! Watch it now!

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FUCKING ÉOWYN VERSUS THE FUCKING WITCH KING! YES! You can see she’s TOTALLY scared but that doesn’t matter at all. She works through the fear, she fights this mythical creature who is supposedly un-killable AND SHE FUCKING KILLS HIM! It’s either him or her uncle and damn it’s sure as hell not going to be her uncle! It is glorious. I cheer every time. I love it. Best moment in the trilogy. No contest. Done.

36) There is this tone shift in the battle of Gondor once Legolas and Gimli start their contest.

Gimli: “There’s plenty [of the enemy] for the both of us, may the best dwarf win.”

They bring out an intense amount of fun to the battle which just has you cheering them on. Cheering on the victory! I mean, LEGOLAS TAKES DOWN A FREAKING ELEPHANT!

Gimli: “THAT STILL COUNTS AS ONE!”

I love it.

37) Again, I apologize for this in advance.

Orc [about to kill Frodo]: “I’m going to stick you like a stuffed pig.”

Sam [killing the orc]: “Not if I stick you first.”

(GIF source unknown [if this is your GIF please let me know].)

38) It is always important that characters not be passive. Them making a choice is interesting. So even when Frodo is at a point where he can easily STOP carrying the ring and let Sam carry it, but he CHOSES not to, that’s interesting. It speaks to his character.

Frodo: “You must understand: the ring is my burden.”

39) This is one of my favorite things to hit the internet in 2012. It’s so random and weird I love it.

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40) The moment when Aragorn really becomes the king of men is when he rallies his troops to fight against Sauron. He takes his role as leader seriously and he’s damn good at it.

Aragorn: “I see in your eyes the same fear which would take the heart in me!”

He relates to them, he lets them know he’s afraid, but his bravery inspires bravery in others. That’s what a good leader does. They speak of hope and unity against hatred, they don’t encourage it. They don’t divide people, they bring them together.

41) Have I mentioned I love Legolas and Gimli’s bromance?

Gimli: “Who thought I’d die fighting side by side with an elf?”

Legolas: “How about side by side with a friend?”

Gimli: “Aye. I can do that.”

42) Frodo is literally pushed past his physical limits, unable to climb any further up Mount Doom to destroy the ring. But he HAS to. That’s high stakes. Forgoing physical needs for the goal is the highest stakes imaginable. And also: HELL YEAH, SAMWISE GAMGEE!

Sam: “I can’t carry it for you, but I can carry you!”

43) Can I just say: I will never truly wrap my mind around the super convenient giant eagles which show up at the last minute. Like, maybe there’s an explanation for this in the books, but wouldn’t the eagles have helped out A LOT MORE before this final battle? I mean really. What’s with this Deus Ex Machina stuff?

44) The scene where Frodo decides to keep the ring visually matches the one where Isildur did the same thing in Fellowship, meaning the seeds for this were planted in the trilogy from film one. It’s smart planning and helps make the choice all the stronger. We’ve seen the consequences of this action once, but again? Oh man, that could be disastrous.

45) You can really see the influence the ring had on Frodo when this is the first thing he says after it’s destroyed.

Frodo: “I can see the shire.”

Frodo talked about how he couldn’t remember it before, while he was carrying the ring. But now it’s gone and he can. I love that.

46) One of my favorite moments in the series is when Frodo wakes up in Rivendale with Gandalf standing at his bead. Remember, Frodo thinks Gandalf is DEAD from the first film. So not only is there the joy at his own survival but that of his friend too. And you can see it on Elijah Wood’s face.

47) This film has A LOT of endings. Like, it takes 20 minutes to end. But I like each and every one. Firstly, this massive respect the hobbits are paid.

Aragorn [king of men, to the hobbits]: “My friends. You bow to no one.”

[Aragorn bows, then so does literally EVERYONE else]

48) The Shire still brings about the same sense of peace it did in Fellowship. You know you’re really out of danger when you are in that place. The tension defuses and it feels like…home. It’s worth noting that the hobbits at first have nothing to talk about while at the bar. They just sit there in silence because…what is there to say?

49) The final goodbye.

I may not be the best to pick up on subtext, but even I get that this boat into the West is meant to represent the afterlife. That Bilbo, Gandalf, and Frodo are all going into the afterlife (even though I always forget that Gandalf leaves). This is honestly not only the most fitting ending to the story, but for Frodo’s character as a whole. There’s no way Frodo could’ve just gone home after all that evil. He couldn’t have just returned to normalcy. He’s changed too much, so he has to move on. But just because Frodo’s gone, doesn’t mean life moves on. And I think that’s one of the greatest messages this film has: even in the face of great loss, life moves on. And there is always ALWAYS hope.

50) And I think instead of analyzing the song “Into the West” I’ll just leave you all with a link to listen to it because it’s a wonderful piece.

The Return of the King is everything fans loved about the first two Lord of the Rings films dialed up all the way. The stakes are at their highest, the battles are at their most epic, the performances are incredible, and the characters finally reach the end of the journey they started at the beginning of this film. Winning Best Picture at the Oscars the year it was nominated, this film definitely deserves it and is worth the watch (even if it is a long watch).

#The Lord of the Rings #Elijah Wood #Sean Astin #Viggo Mortensen #Eowyn #Epic Movie (Re)Watch #Ian McKellen #Orlando Bloom #Christopher Lee #Billy Boyd #John Noble #Miranda Otto #Andy Serkis #Yas Queen #That's What She Said #Movie #Film #GIF

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hub-pub-bub · 5 years

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I have two tried and tested modes of response to the question,”What’s your favourite book?”

(Note: This is a question book lovers dread.)

First of all, I never give only one book but will offer favourite books by genre. Secondly, Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter will always get a mention followed by a disclaimer about not reading a lot of fantasy. However, in my latest reread of the LOTR trilogy I found it hard to brush past the clearly racially inclined descriptions Tolkien has for his characters. He created a whole new world with languages and folklore and yet he, with his brilliant mind, fell prey to one of the most dangerous villain tropes. The trope in which all the good guys are white and all the bad guys are black.

The Elves, the brave men of Gondor, the kingly men of Rohan are all described as white, with pale skin. Some have dark hair, some are blonde; all are white. The Hobbits, sometimes described as ruddy, are always white. Then the bad men from the East come along in The Two Towers with their dark skin and riding creatures similar in description to elephants from Africa or India.

Hmmm…

I’m not the first person to bring Tolkien to task on his questionable portrayal of different races, but this did get me thinking about the other dangerous villain tropes we often come across in literature.

VILLAINS HAVE DARK SKIN

I’m happy to say that the trope of villains having black or brown skin is one that isn’t so prevalent in contemporary literature, but unfortunately it’s one we see a lot in the classics. Many of which we read first in school. I’m thinking about the “savages” in Robinson Crusoe and Heathcliff in Wuthering Heights. Arguably Othello is a classic in which the hero is dark skinned. I say arguably because (spoiler alert) Othello ultimately becomes the villain his critics wanted him to be.

VILLAINS HAVE A DISABILITY

This is unfortunately a trope that is common in both classic and contemporary literature. From Treasure Island’s Long John Silver with his wooden leg to Leigh Teabing in The Da Vinci Code, there is a long ancient and modern history of equating disability with villainy. I think this stems from some kind of poor conception that the disfigurement of soul must reveal itself outwardly. Or maybe there’s a school of thought believing the frustrations of a disability lead to doing wrong. Either way, it’s potentially dangerous trope.

VILLAINS ARE UGLY

This is probably the oldest and most common trope that has followed me all the way from the ugly stepsisters in Cinderella to Mrs Trunchbull in Mathilda. We are attracted to that which is beautiful and despise that which we find ugly, but aesthetics have no bearing on character. Aesthetics also conform to a culture and society. They often say more about the culture judging the individual than about the individual themself.

For every villain that has been a victim to one of these tropes, you can name a hero as a counterpart. I give you Black Panther, Quasimodo, and Auggie in Wonder. But like the tropes in other literary genres, villain tropes encourage damaging misconceptions and are often lazy.

I’m all for sympathetic villains and stories such as Wicked and Maleficent where the villainy depends on the point of view of the story. But it’s actually rare for someone to be innately evil. Most of the time, the true villains in life are the ones who believe they are doing good. Let’s make that a trope. In my opinion, one of the best villains is Frollo in the Disney adaptation of The Hunchback of Notre Dame,because he’s a respected official who believes he’s doing good. That’s terrifying.

On the flip side, when you do encounter true evil in the likes of Ted Bundy and Jeffry Dahmer, it’s of the “blend into the crowd” kind. Let’s explore that. Let’s explore new ways to write villains and step away from these villain tropes. I think that when we step away from damaging representations and overdone tropes what will come out will be some awesome books.

Are you there any villain tropes you’re tired of?

#villain tropes #reading #inclusion #diversity #sensitivity

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