#spn and causality
Note
would love to hear more about the “chuck was the one who brainwashed cas and kelly actually” theory, thank you :)
Okay so I'm going to sound like I'm not addressing your question at all at first but just bear with me.
One of the primary reasons that the baby brainwashing incident fascinates me is that Cas's actions are a betrayal of his and Dean's bond on a foundational level. I'm not talking about The Colt or the mixtape (though they're related).
Dean and Cas's relationship as handler and charge was shed and a real, genuine bond bloomed in 4.22, after this exchange:
DEAN
Destiny? Don't give me that "holy" crap. Destiny, God's plan... It's all a bunch of lies, you poor, stupid son of a bitch! It's just a way for your bosses to keep me and keep you in line! You know what's real? People, families -- that's real. And you're gonna watch them all burn?
CASTIEL
What is so worth saving? I see nothing but pain here. I see inside you. I see your guilt, your anger, confusion. In paradise, all is forgiven. You'll be at peace. Even with Sam.
DEAN
You can take your peace... and shove it up your lily-white ass. 'Cause I'll take the pain and the guilt. I'll even take Sam as is. It's a lot better than being some Stepford bitch in paradise.
These are the words that convince Cas to rebel. These are the words that dissolve Cas's doubts in doubt, and convince him to follow his convictions instead of act on blind faith. Shortly after this conversation, Cas flies Dean to Chuck, who tells them what they're up to isn't supposed to happen. This becomes a theme of Dean and Cas's relationship.
Together, Dean and Cas do things that aren't supposed to happen—that aren't part of God's plan. They do something Chuck explicitly says isn't supposed to happen in 4.18. They do something that Chuck explicitly says isn't supposed to happen in 4.22. They do something that Chuck explicitly says isn't supposed to happen in 5.22.
Dean and Cas's relationship, at its very core, is built upon the rejection of two things: 1) Destiny and 2) Paradise—and by the end of "The Future", Cas explicitly (in the production draft) embraces destiny and paradise... and that screams Chuck.
This is what Cas says to Kelly right after the devil baby brainwashing at the very end of "The Future". The "Paradise" part doesn't make it to the final cut—just the "future" part... but the Paradise part is implied by the "future" part anyway.
What else happens in "The Future"? Kelly says the line.
It's not supposed to happen this way.
She says the line that Chuck said every time Dean and Cas defied the writing during the first apocalypse by doing something Chuck couldn't or didn't anticipate. Kelly says this after Sam and Dean catch up to Castiel—after Sam and Dean convince Cas to just talk through all of this with them and not jump to the nuclear option of murdering Kelly—to consider an alternative plan where Kelly and Jack's lives are both preserved because Jack is born a regular baby. The moment Cas begins to agree to talk, Kelly says "It's not supposed to happen this way."
Now let's talk about Kelly. Her behavior this entire episode is insane. She begins the episode despairing because giving birth to Jack will kill her. She then tries to kill herself, but Jack won't let her die—and this throws Kelly into a sort of religious fervor—convincing her that Jack is actually good and could revolutionize the world. Her belief in this is so powerful that when Sam and Dean arrive, she immediately rejects the plan they've come up with that will spare her and Jack's lives:
Sam: No, Kelly, if you go with Cass, you die. Your baby dies.
Kelly: I go with you, you take away the thing that makes him special.
She sounds nuts. Like. Imagine saying you'd rather you and your baby DIE than have a "normal" baby. Your baby HAS to be a special baby or you'd rather be dead? Uh... ew—and to a point that screams supernatural brainwashing.
Of course—Kelly's actions aren't quite as irrational as they seem because right before Sam and Dean arrived, Kelly was shown something by "Jack". She got Cas to lay his palm on her belly, and "Jack" showed her a vision of the future. After she takes off with Cas in the impala, she says,
When you put your hand on my stomach, I heard him. He spoke to me. He told me that even if it seems scary, if I just went to the gate, if I just followed your plan, that you would make sure he was born.
So even as she's driving herself straight into Cas's plan to kill her and her baby, Kelly believes everything will be fine—because "Jack" showed her the future... and the thing is? She's... not wrong. "Jack" did show her the future. "Jack" showed her a tiny moment that actually does happen at the end of the episode—Cas standing between her and Dagon and saying "You stay away from her".
Why do I keep putting "Jack" in quotes here? Because Jack never displays the ability to see the future after his birth, and yet "Jack" did have this power from the womb... only? Yeah... I'm not so sure. I'm wondering if it was someone else—someone who showed Kelly what they had already written.
I'll also note in 13.01, that Jack doesn't seem to remember... any of this happening—at least not in the same way. In fact, he recalls very little leading up to his birth. The way he describes it, his sole knowledge of the world prior to his birth came from Kelly speaking to him while he was in the womb... but also... not? Because he says he was Kelly?
SAM: How do you speak English?
JACK: My mother taught me.
SAM: So you talked to her.
JACK: I was her.
JACK: My mother, she said Castiel, he would keep me safe. She said the world was a dangerous place. That's -- that's why I couldn't be a baby or a child. I... That's why I had to grow up fast. That's why I chose him to be my father. Where is he?
It's all pretty confusing, but something blinks at me here: Jack says Kelly told him Castiel would keep him safe and indicates that he chose Castiel as his father based on Kelly's assessment. However, Kelly told us Jack showed her the future which told her that Castiel would keep Jack safe back in 12.19. These are two contradictory stories. What if a third party sowed both?
Two other little bits:
First:
Kelly: Maybe – maybe everything that I've been through, everything that I still have to go through, is happening for a reason. Maybe it's part of some plan.
Castiel: No, it isn't. I used to believe in a plan. I used to believe that I had some mission. But I have been through enough now to know that everyone is just winging it.
Castiel does a 180 on this by the end of the episode and it screams Chuck Chuck Chuck Chuck.
Second:
If you go to the 12.19 production draft (graciously provided to the fandom through @/spnscripthunt) on page 45, you'll see something that never made it to screen—Cas's vision of paradise.
Only—these visions don't seem to come to fruition unlike Kelly's vision of Cas protecting her. The bits with Dean and Castiel's wings don't feel like the future anyway—they... just feel like what Cas wants most desperately at that time—to be a protector and provider who can handle everything on his own—who needs a "win". This is another theme of the episode. Cas stole The Colt in a misguided attempt to protect his family from having to be directly involved in the ruthless murder Cas had determined would be necessary. He didn't believe there was any other choice, and he wanted to spare Sam and Dean the pain of being involved in the dirty work.
Sam: Then – Then why didn't you call us? Cas, we could've helped you.
Castiel: I know. I wanted to keep you out of this. I-I was trying to keep you safe.
Dean: You're not our babysitter, Cas, okay? That is not your job. And when in our whole lives have we ever been safe?
This probably stings for Cas because he knows they aren't, and he wants them to be—he wants his family to be safe... all without having to discard his conscience by killing Kelly. He wants her to be safe too! The stuff he sees gives him what he wants--Sam and Dean and Kelly happy and safe—Dean thanking him—Cas once more a fully powered angel who doesn't need anybody's help.
But all of this stuff he sees? It's a lie. It's a lie because it never happens, but it's also a lie because destiny is always a lie. Paradise is always a lie. God's plan is just a way to keep them all in line... and Cas is trying to secure paradise for someone who said they'd take the pain and the guilt over someone else's vision of their paradise.
#mail#no one can control you but you#12.19#13.01#jack#kelly#and cas is my best friend#spn and causality#chuck#cas and power#castiels motivations
172 notes
·
View notes
Text
so many stupid things to love and so little time!
334 notes
·
View notes
Note
hi! i hope you don't mind me asking, but i need a certified opinion on sam winchester and you seemed like the person to go to :D
could you rec me some good sam-centric fic & character studies? preferably for early seasons or pre-series?
i'm showing spn to a friend and they like sam a lot, but we are both. somewhat afraid to go into the tag lol. so I figured you could have something nice bookmarked or there's maybe a rec list i dont know about.
thanks!
Okay I actually mostly read later seasons Sam stuff (or at least s5+) because the more trauma the better <3 but here are some that are either sam studies that include earlier stuff or earlier/preseries (like kripke era)
DO check trigger warnings! since these are (mostly) pre hell (and I would not read w*) they aren't as bad as some of the sam & lucifer fics I'd share, but some still have different potentially triggering themes (like addiction, suicide, etc, so please just be careful! I'm assuming you can check the tags on ao3 <3)
also some are 18+, not sure your age but I don't personally want my followers talking to me about nsfw content if they are minors. so be wary around that too, but they're all outer links so ao3 will have them rated/stop you etc.
Sam w/ OCD rec list & my old Sam rec list
samjess
Sunlight by sp8ce, samjess
The first time Sam tastes blood it's human blood, and it feels like shame and the closest he has been to truly human wrapped up in one. He's never been so safe and in love. The second time it's electric and consuming. He has nothing left, but the desire to chase the power and hold on to the objective of revenge, only still connected at her touch. The third time, he's pretty sure it will kill him, burn him like purifying light from the inside out. --- An exploration of Sam and consuming blood. This work is the first time: with Jessica Moore.
also if you like samjess sp8ce has later seasons ghost samjess too<3
sam & john
the type who doesn't burn by patrocluus
On a late October afternoon in 1997, John Winchester takes his son out into the woods and puts a bullet between his eyes.
make a mirror out of you by sp8ce - john kills jess (it's john pov though)
The thing about Jessica's death is that it makes Sa,m understand John more than anything else ever could and choose everything John's ever wanted Sam to choose. Azazel always seems to have John's silhouette.
sam / gen or multi
This Is the Way (The World Ends) by Lise
In Georgia hunting a skinwalker, Dean saw Sam. AU. Like, really.
Weblike Causality by sp8ce
Which came first? The fear or the inevitability?
instrument by sp8ce
Sam Winchester grasps with his own personhood.
Polaroid Sun Picture by sp8ce
Sam has been stalked his whole life in order to be manipulated into an instrument of his worst fears. He has no privacy to himself. He has no defence.
therefore I react by sp8ce
for a while, in the cage, all Sam sees is a tree.
(okay so I've tried to not give you any lucifer stuff but this one is a sam & learnt helplessness thesis for connecting past & present)
This Kid's Not Alright by safiyabat
What exactly did Sam get up to at Bobby's while Dean was at Sonny's? When John makes a very odd request of the older hunter, Bobby takes the boy into his home for a few months. It isn't an easy time for either of them.
the easy way out and the hardest part by queenbaskerville
Sam would rather die than be Lucifer's vessel. Lucifer will just resurrect him now, but there was a time before the seals were broken—a time before Sam broke the seals. To save the world, to save Dean—Sam knows what he has to do.
The Special Children by TheMightiestPen
After Dean reveals his Dad’s last words, he asks Sam to lay low for a while. This time, Sam says no. This time, Sam goes all in in his search for the other kids like him. S2 AU, for spnhiatuscreations on tumblr for week 5: favorite season.
sam & dean
Dear Abel by lowkey_existential_despair (it has samjess/early sam&dean basis okay)
It wasn’t always like this, is the thing. There used to be a time when caring about Dean was more than just a habit. There was a time, once, when seeing Dean with demon-black eyes would’ve been the worst thing in the world. But that was a long time ago. Now, he looks at this black-eyed version of Dean—wrapped in layers of chains, in pain, sobbing quietly—and he feels nothing. Nothing at all.
Purify by cenotaphy
"We know what happens when Sam drinks demon blood.
…but what happens when Sam drinks angel blood?"
Set at the end of season 4, before Sam gets out of the panic room.
Hell Fractal by sp8ce
Sam's last real memory is of Dean stabbing him after he let Lucifer out. Sam keeps, with varying levels of memory and awareness, waking up in the panic room. With Dean needing to kill him.
Man-in-the-middle by ambersock (who has some lovely fics <3)
Sam hears the driver’s side door open, hears footsteps approaching. He remembers that Dean still has Ruby’s demon-killing blade. Yet another voicemail fix-it.
The Choice by authoressnebula (authoressjean)
(this author has other early seasons sam&dean stuff)
One gun. One bullet. It's up to Sam and Dean to decide who will shoot the bullet…and who will die.
it’s not that i think i’m good, i know i’m evil by redskyatmorning
(author has good later seasons Sam stuff as well)
The conversation that leads up to Sam ending up in the panic room, again, to detox from demon blood.
Fade Far Away, Dissolve, and Quite Forget by Lise
You've seen isolation before, but not like this. It's not quite another hemisphere, but it's close enough.
Catharsis by BlueIris08
Sam copes with learning of Dean's promise to John in the classic Winchester way--with alcohol. Or, the drunken, angsty post-Croatoan/Hunted scene that didn't happen.
Don't Think Twice, It's All Right by WilsonTheMoose
In which Sam gets beaten up (rookie), Dean mentions the voicemail (idiot), and nothing really changes (figures). Fits into the first episode of season 5. For an anonymous prompt on tumblr asking for Dean hitting Sam in the earlier seasons. This is not quite what you wanted anon, sorry.
yeah, well, i don't want to by AreYouReady
He didn't do it on purpose. / Dean sabotages Jess's warding in pilot
Comets, Stars, Haunted Houses, and Other Things Best Observed from a Hundred Million Miles Away by occasionallyalways
See also: violent deaths; apologies; lightning. Or; Something happened in the panic room. Something went wrong. Dean finds out six years later.
sambrady
One to Save You by sp8ce
If Brady needs Sam, he'll be there immediately.
The Piece You're Missing by sp8ce
Brady can't seem to figure out why Sam won't give up on him. They have a conversation where he tries to dissect and understand why.
Out by TheMightiestPen (also sam&dean)
A god-possessed witch reveals a secret that Sam’s been keeping for a long time. The brothers handle it like mature, well-adjusted adults, for once.
sastiel
Grace (made perfect in weakness) by Sidewoundcore (CherryHollow)
After he is freed from the panic room, Castiel, rather than Ruby, is the first person to find Sam. In the end, it changes nothing at all.
atrophy & other stories by saintsurvivor
early seasons sastiel that is sam centric
Monster by Ginipig (voicemail fic so mostly sam&dean)
After everything that happened between him and Dean with the breaking of the final seal, Sam is having trouble moving on. Dean's weird, sort-of helpful angel friend wants to know why.
Not that it's any of his damned business.
Comfort by Never_x_Better
Sam's being tormented by Lucifer and Castiel just wants to help him. Nightmares, blood addiction, hallucinations, and fluff ends up leading the two friends down an interesting path.
Wishing Is Cold This Year by Lise
Dean has his head rather determinedly up his ass, so it falls to Castiel to take this one. Post 5.03ish.
what did you bury / before those hands pulled me from the earth? by starlightswait
It’s the strangest thing. Sam’s in the Cage. And then he’s not.
(technically post kripke but it's my favourite sastiel <;3)
Ruby Red by sp8ce (also samruby but I don't read or write a lot of samruby)
An exploration of Sam and consuming blood. This work has Sam reminiscing on Ruby. He then has more blood forced upon him by some hunters who think they can purify him. (can be read standalone or in series)
#fic rec#fanfiction#writing#sam winchester#sammy#spn#supernatural#fic#incoherents#wow that took hours. making rec lists is a time warp#also there are some of my beautiful mutuals who write beautiful later seasons fic. if i didn't include you it's cause I'm focusing earlier
206 notes
·
View notes
Text
They just flipped over a great big card. So many things to talk about in ep 1.08 but I'm going to start at the ending of the episode.
Oh look, the man who gave John the letter at the bus depot is Dean. A bunch of us kinda figured. It could have been Cas, it could have been meddling cupids, but Dean was the strongest possibility, and we had that hint from Jensen in a TV Guide a while back about Dean wanting to do something to make things better for his family and that time travel was involved.
TW isn't an alternate earth. But there are timey wimey time travel hijinks and, I think, an alt timeline that isn't actually an alt because this is how it always happened, as far as spn prime canon is concerned.
There are EP statements that they didn't alter anything about spn prime, right? Nothing that will make people fade from photographs.
Dean's journey, the story he's telling, is still the "true" history and Dean is uncovering the truth, the past. Filling in blanks that were left out by omission, the tricks trauma can play on memory or the selective editing or idealizations John did when he told his children the family stories, about Mary, and about how stories get passed down and details changed or left out. There were whole parts of John and Mary's life we, the audience, didn't learn about during spn prime and Sam and Dean didn't know either.
This is how it happened because this is how it already happened, this is the real story of John and Mary that resulted in the spn prime canon events, but it's broken time, because someone messed with the timeline and that someone would be Dean.
Here's Doctor Who to explain the bootstrap paradox.
youtube
"Google it."
Also the grandfather paradox and causal loops.
Quantum Leap fans, think about Sam Beckett's string theory which he came up with from watching Captain Galaxy as a kid, and then it turns out time traveling Sam told the theory to the star of Captain Galaxy in the first place, who put it in the show, which was watched by child Sam, who then used that as the basis for his theory.
It happened that way because of the time travel of the protagonist, but now it always happened that way because it already happened even though it didn't happen yet.
Dean broke the timeline. Yes, after his death. Maybe had some help from a certain angel. (Where's Dean, where's that road? It's not Heaven, not yet, but it's not Earth either).
Here's a possibility: the resultant spn prime events is the better version.
How about this possibility: the version where Dean didn't break the timeline is even worse. Not Dean meddled with time so now it's an alt timeline that winds up happier for everyone. What if the og timeline was even more tragic and on top of which, the earth is laid waste.
John always knew about hunting earlier than the family stories told it.
John and Mary had a whole circle of hunter friends who became their family, and that story didn't get told.
There was more to John and Mary than we, the audience, knew from the bits and pieces of their story revealed on spn prime.
Dean's uncovering the whole story. Uncovering the past. Which resulted from his time traveling actions.
Learning more about John, Mary, and the grandparents, and discovering Carlos and Lata and Ada too.
"It's you, Dean. It's always been you. Death-defying, rule-breaking."
It's always been Dean. It always happened that way because Dean will time travel. It's in the past. But the future will bring it about.
Where's Dean, what's really going on. It's not just time travel. How does he time travel and where's the road he's on.
#Dean Winchester#The Winchesters#spnwin#spnwin spoilers#spnwin meta#Dean meta#*steeples fingers*#Youtube
183 notes
·
View notes
Text
so like a month or two ago i was sitting outside the train station in my car w @suncaptor and i had had approximately five total hours of sleep in the last forty eight hours and i was telling him about this headcanon that i had always sort of implicitly assumed and he was like. you have to post it. so that's the context here.
anyway my sort of. semi-half-articulated headcanon i've had for like. how god or chuck or whoever works is that. okay.
point one: the afterlives are a soul catcher. chuck created heaven and hell and purgatory to divert dead souls from their natural resting place in the empty so they would remain in existence and could be used for power.
point two: amara seems to consume souls for power in the exact same manner as godstiel or (in my proposal) heaven. she just takes them into herself and uses them as a battery. which is like. she's fully a cosmic entity what are you talking about. but that suggests chuck works the same way, he needs batteries. which is crazy because he's GOD. but, well.
point three: there seem to be a lot of other deities???? in the supernatural universe????????
so based on these headcanons and pieces of information, my headcanon has always kinda been. ok it goes like this.
so there is a universe which contains many deities and similar entities. one day one of them has a great idea. if he could just create a big net, then maybe he could catch all the souls heading to eternal sleep and nothingness. then he could use their power.
and it works. he grows more powerful by the moment. eventually, he grows so powerful that he is able to alter the forces of causality, the very nature of existence.
this entity becomes was always the creator of the universe. he makes himself into always having been God, Capital G. he makes it true that he made everything. everything we know about god in spn is true and was always true but it was not always true you know what i'm saying? causality doesn't apply here because it's true it's accurate and it always has been but it hasn't. i don't know if god (god-and-amara as a single bifaceted entity that divided in the original act of creation that was not the true origin?) is even aware that this is how he came to be, and of course it wasn't because causality was-will be altered so it is not.
160 notes
·
View notes
Note
Okay so, at this point, I'm used to you smacking me in the face with Tool lyrics (and Renaissance lyrics, but that's a different kind of psychic damage for me). And I'm good with that cuz we're gonna ride the spiral to the end and may just go where no one's been.
That's fine. It's all good.
(Except for the time I thought that the Shadow mentioned in 46&2 couldn't possibly have any relevance and then you beaned me in the head with a rock. But that was my bad.)
The problem is that weeks ago, someone in server made a passing comment about Jimmy (referring to Castiel's vessel) and i thought, Hey, there's a Tool song named Jimmy... But that couldn't mean anything, right?
(I know, I know. My bad.)
So, I went about my business.
Only to run into your "11 is 11".
Now, I have no earthly idea what that means. Half your alchemy and hermetic posts go flying over my head, but I dig the parts that I get.
But the 11 triggered my memory of Jimmy. So I looked up the lyrics and...
I mean... there's no Shadow or spirals but... at this point, I'm gonna have to buy a damn helmet! Or at least ask that you throw softer rocks!
HAHAHAHAH that's one of those apollo curveballs that even just decked me, so nice one, i'm standing up and straightening my glasses.
The 11 is 11 had to do with the way Lateralus was built. The initial order ended when the Tower Falls To The Voice Of God--in og spn framework, 15.18 when sam and jack walk out of the tower. It ends in ruin once the switch flipped from The Truth to Despair.
The 13 episodes could be shuffled two ways for different results. If you swing the cycle first, the voice of god just becomes trauma radio, pitcking back and forth into trauma ticks and leeches and lessons to correct it to land at your final disposition and watch the weather change.
In both versions, "Reflection" had the same causal point, it was the only song that was the same in both orders. But now we're evolving the spiral, not just swinging on it, so Reflection just got recentered as the causal starting point while going back to In The Beginning and losing sight of The Future.
All Along The Watchtower we stand.
youtube
5 notes
·
View notes
Note
"This goes out to everyone LOOKING for their “twinflame”. Twinflames are NOT trendy. And the journey is NOT comforting or romantic. It’s a painful acension process. That’s it."
"THE TRUTH ABOUT TWINFLAMES the truth about most people who seek their "twin flame" is that the twinflame journey is not something you can seek. Like many others, when I met mine- I never heard of the term "twin flame" they come in at the worst time, when you are NOT looking. I was not spiritual, I knew nothing about an awakening, just a regular house mom who was already in an amazing relationship. So when I started experiencing weird phenomena, seeing angel numbers, his name, the weird obsessive thinking, the weird addictive pull. The first thing I did was FIGHT IT. There was no way I wanted to be "destined". Most twinflames, and I mean REAL TWINFLAMES,. Will meet their counterpart at the WORST TIME. Most of us have families, are married, or DON'T WANT A TWINFLAME. Because the journey is a spiritual one, designed to destroy your ego. It took me TWO YEARS to finally meet him, and after that- I decided to partially surrender. It took me another THREE YEARS to fully surrender. Don't judge what you don't know."
"SPN FANDOM! I will listen to your opinion if you take Kurt’s entire course and then read ALL THE BOOKS! you are not liable to speak on twinflames, only people walking this path can understand. End. Of. Discussion."
"KURTS TWINFLAME COURSE
IS THE SAME WORK AS:
Yungs book "lighter'
IS THE SAME WORK AS:
Ekhart toles book "the power of now."
IS THE SAME WORK AS:
Michael A Singers book " the untethered soul"
HE IS THE REAL twinflame teacher. And has helped thousands with addictive energy.
A CERTAIN FANDOM- should mind their own business before speaking. If you are going to say something, take THE CLASS AND READ THE BOOKS.
Then come back LATER."
"#spaceman NETFLIX What a spiritual awakening is like @ misha cried my eyes out last night watching this. Out of all the synchronicities on this journey the ending song “don’t go away please don’t go” really had me in tears as I was on my way out the door. I just can’t do this twinflame journey anymore…. I’m so depressed waiting for you. And that day never seems to come. One day you will be happy and I would have wasted 30 years here waiting for someone who never even bothered to see me or send a simple reply… I can’t anymore"
"Twinflames are known to be a “celestial” encounter. Yes you see angel numbers. No you can NOT just causally walk up to them, for the energy is too strong and you won’t make any words out. No you cannot HIDE what you are feeling, for they mirror the love right back. I have never been more terrified and exited standing right next to him. No matter how many poems are on this page, only us will be able to comprehend all the unsaid words and unwritten poems. Out of all the unexplainable events that happened during this journey, seeing you in person will always be one of them. Maybe love is just an unexplainable thing that humans can’t quite comprehend. @ misha"
"Just fyi, I don’t know what you guys are up too. But I’m not interested in seeing him. @ misha @ mouseandme
This is literally my last comment ever. I deleted my Snapchat yesterday. And I won't be talking to you anymore. And although your fandom is for some WEIRD reason begging me to come see you at your cons- I will never be attending any future cons again. I love you misha. You don't owe me an explanation for why you treated me the way you treated me. But I am tired of being the one perusing you, flying to you.... The truth is you never loved me enough to try... if you even ever loved me at all. I am done with this "twinflame journey" we are not destined, we never were. I choose to make things work, and you chose the opposite. So I hope wherever life takes you , you're genuinely happy there. But I won't be continuing any contact."
"@ misha I just want your fans to know the truth. Sorry. It was just a bunch of “fake mishas” who did a really good job cat- fishing me. Of course it wasn’t the real you. Your fandom should know that. You’re a beautiful man misha. Lots of woman want you and dream of you. I am pretty much nobody. You have a million girls that are better than me, and I hope you find love and happiness with someone who is best suited for you… that girl obviously isn’t me…. I will never feel good enough to be loved by anyone, especially someone like you. Sorry. I will always inevitably be the “runner.” If such things even existed, which they don’t…. That’s why when you grabbed my hand in august I pulled away. That’s why in November I never waited to talk to you… because I will never be good enough for a man like you. And deep down I know it. You deserve the best, and the best … that isn’t me. hashtag delusionalfangirl hashtag spnfamily"
"Hey misha, it's amber.... Just so you know, I told your fandom the truth about Alma. That she was the one I was inlove with, and that I was so confused. There was a "fake misha" who I sent messages on Snapchat too. And I thought it was you. But now I know it's not you. Sorry for all the misunderstanding. @ misha @ mouseandme I hope the word spreads. That we never had any communication. I know that when you saw me in November you were just being nice. There was no "twinflame connection" there was no spark. There was just you, doing your job. That's it. Goodbye."
(a few hours later)
"@ misha you are the most irritating human I’ve ever encountered . I love you, stuuppiidd."
"@ Misha Collins how come every time I have decided to leave social media you start tagging @ Taylor Swift . You're very irritating. You know it bothers me. In fact, everytimeI told you "please don't do that" you definitely DO, do that. So PLEASE don't ever show up at my doorstep using only paper as your outfit, and a poetry covering the only part that matters that says "I'm sorry amber I should have done bigger and better things during our none existential relationship " And I won't pretend to break up with you ever again in our pretend relationship."
"@ Misha Collins whoever is pretending to be you on Snapchat is very unlucky. I accidentally sent him videos of me in the shower. It's too bad for that guy."
"I feel bad for that guy @ misha"
"@ misha let's try this again. I think I lasted maybe 24 hours this time.....
"Hey misha, please let me take my detox class? I know this isn't your fault- but everytime I leave I get ridiculous spiritual symptoms. The connection seems to grow profoundly stronger when I cut contact in the 3D physical world. Sensations such as , hearing your voice, you touching me (sometimes at very inappropriate times) and twinflame telepathic sex, dizziness, feeling of distraught, loneliness, weird energy shit like the sensation of falling through the floor and getting pulled in all directions. This happens every time I "leave" and try to distance myself from this connection. So being a mature adult, I'm going to TELL you I'm doing my detox class and can't remain in contact please don't try to initiate any kind of weird astral- sex sessions with me while I'm detoxing. I'm trying to heal. Thanks baby. I love you. Also (please stop tagging Taylor Swift it bothers me.) I made that playlist for you. Not to patronize me with it. 😂"
"@ Misha Collins I think I’m legitimately insane after the last 2 almost 3 years of this…..how come it’s so hard to leave you? Your energy pulls me back everytime. That should be illegal. 🤣🤣🤣"
"@ Misha Collins have you ever noticed that when I'm angry at you on one platform the anger usually stays on that app and we just migrate to a different platform? I think I need a twinflame coach... Oh wait... I already have one. Maybe a therapist can help .🤣🤣🤣 (comments are turned off for a reason.) The peanut gallery can keep their penuts ."
"@ misha MISHA FUCKING COLLINS Can you just find a "normal" way to talk to me? I'm running out of Taylor Swift songs to tag you in... .. And hidden poetry is also becoming difficult . I have weird shit to tell you. Poetry couldn't capture that."
"@ misha you are LEGITIMATELY the weirdest human I’ve ever encountered. And it’s not because you have my soul in your body…."
"@ misha if you ever miss me just know that I’m always silently listening to @ magnetizeyourself on YouTube thinking about my beautiful divine masculine. I hope we make it into union. I am doing the work, and I will be continuing to do the work. In order to fully do this work I will be taking a step back and giving you space to think…. A lot has happened in the last 3 years and a lot of shadows have already been brought to the surface to heal. I never thought I’d be here, publicly sharing my journey and having everyone collectively watching us transform. I want to say thank you for being so kind and patient with me, you are always welcome to yell and scream your lungs out at me. I know sometimes I tick your ticker in the wrong way. (Almost always), and a lot of the promises I made you I broke out of ego and proving a point to your fandom. I hope you know, I am trying to be different."
"@ misha I know this isn't really mishas Snapchat. I know you are fake. But for fucks sake will you at least open your messages. Hasn't it been long enough "misha". If you're waiting for the fans to forget they won't. They are dedicated to me more than this pretend relationship. Also , I know this is fake. But I like to come here and rant and pretend its you because I'm delusional"
"@ misha of course it’s not you. If it was the “real you” then you would have my number and we would contact eachother normally. I just want to tell the truth. That that account was not you. And Alma is not you either, I know because she video chatted me and was 100 percent a woman. (I’m still inlove with her though. She’s breath taking)"
"@ misha I just want to tell the world the truth. Sorry about the misunderstanding. I shouldn’t trust fake accounts that portray to be you. I am sorry to your beautiful friend Alma, I know she is a woman. And she’s drop dead gorgeous. Tell her I’m sorry about all this mess."
"@ misha I want to have S3X with you. FUCK THIS JOURNEY. I am SICK and tired of seeing a picture of you and pulling my hair out due to addictive energy. I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE."
"I know that Snapchat is fake , so I want you to see this. I sent that other profile nudes. I would never do that to the "real you." But I want to make love to you so bad. You are the first person to touch me without ever actually touching me- I want to experience your lips on my lips, my lips on your body, your body on top of mine... I am uncontrollable when I look at you, and I need you to tame me."
"@ misha Before I leave, @ misha, i wanted to share a page I enjoy. I believe if both of us want it, we can make it into a rare phenomenon called twinflame union. Also known as , unity consciousness. Follow @ twinflames.infinity"
"@ misha If you have my address- crumbled up in your pocket, warm from indecisive hands. Those hands are mine to hold steady."
"@ misha the universe won’t let me leave you. Because deep down I’ve always known it was you. Even if we never make it to union, I am so happy and proud to call you my counterpart."
"@ misha if you join this while I am healing and taking my twinflame class you will be "ready" for the grave. I still have an ego. And it's very big.
(HEY @ yung_pueblo stop giving @ misha bad ideas 💡)
HEY MISHA! I already know what you're thinking. I was being sarcastic on that comment, but If you break our eternal bond I will do Kurt’s class for a different reason… “detaching” is a paradox that gets you into union. But if you decide to date, I am clearly stating that I am not okay with that. I am choosing you misha. If you want me to PERMANENTLY leave your life then I guess you found your god sent answer. But please don’t break my heart. I haven’t had sex with anyone since you, and god knows that hasn’t been easy. But your the person I see a future with. Nobody else."
"@ misha I felt you slip away since October… I can feel everything you feel. So why do we feel so close but simultaneously apart. You once told me “I won’t wait forever” that was 2 years ago. Was I too late? I am not an expert on these kinds of connections. Please… open my messages misha. I promise I am not yelling at you or breaking up with you on there."
"@ misha please don't actually fall in love with someone else. I'll fall into an ego death and I won't make it out of it as the same person you know. My soul is already begging for mercy, I know how this mirror game works. You take my fears and casually tease me with them.. only by going through with them. But please, for the love of god- don't make me face this one."
"@ misha WHY ARE YOU SO IRRITATING. 🤣 seriously pls just stop. Do you remember that one time you wore a red shirt for like 2 WEEKS straight because I said red is “my color” . You’re so annoying ."
"@ misha Why do you have to like the same things that I like? Your annoying. I only sent you her music because I know you'd never listen to it. Why do you do this to me?? stop tagging @ Taylor Swift misha!!!!! I'm in Kurt's class and you know it bothers me enough to break the course and come back here and yell at you.... like I'm doing now."
"@ misha your the most annoying man I've ever met in my entire life. Why am I so Inlove with you? Can you just check your Snapchat so you can change my Instagram password and I can finally detox from you. I need you to try to be more annoying."
"@ misha no more @ Taylor Swift music for you. It’s RINGING IN MY EARS 24/7 because YOU won’t stop LISTENING. Twinflames are connected. That means you found a million new ways to annoy me."
"@ Taylor Swift you should block my twinflame. He’s trying to annoy me when he tags you. 🤣 block him: @ misha"
"@ misha it’s going to take us 50 years… because we’re “us”." (video)
"@ misha you are so beautiful baby. I love you so much."
"@ misha please leave me alone for the next 2 and a half years. Thanks. I’m actually going to cry if you tag Taylor swift one more time and poke at my ego…. You know I’m doing this stupid detachment class because I love you right? You know that pretty muchEVERYTHING I’m doing is for you… right? I DONT WANT TO HEAL FOR MYSELF. I don’t mind being broken! I’m healing for you DUMBASS. Because I LOVE YOU DUMBASS. 🤣🤣🤣"
"@ misha you know when you were posting pictures with your beard I held back so many inappropriate comments. I love you so much misha. So fucking much. I’m a very physical person and it’s hard for me to stay celibate this long and commit to you. I want to feel every part of your body, I want to pleasure you in every way possible. You are so attractive to me. Your age is perfect. Everything you find unattractive about yourself I find myself craving. You drive me crazy. The yearn for you just to be near me is absolutely crazy."
Unbelievably, that isn't even all of it. (I'm too tired to copy and paste any more. She gives me a headache.) That (above) was just one of her Instagram accounts over the course of less than 24hrs. 🙄
Damn that was some long, whiny, stupid shit. I think I lost some brain cells reading this.
0 notes
Text
i think due south is the reason 2012 spn fans were so insane. causality.
#especially the last two bad seasons.#either ray k. krycek. or spike. is theee original sopping wet poor little meow meow. my schoolarship.#(as the term in its modern day use)
1 note
·
View note
Video
i <3 toxic relationships
deancas + sad sex by ängie and tail whip
#honestly one of my favorite fic tropes is just ya dean and cas have been sleeping together for ages#and dean is like ya its just causal (hint. its not)#and then things escalte#even better if the fic spans multiple seaons like i loooove#anyways#spn video#spnvideo#spn amv#spnedit#deancas#destiel#fish.media#spnamvarchive
30 notes
·
View notes
Text
All that crap he dumped on me, about protecting Sam. That was his crap! He's the one who couldn't protect his family. He's the one who let Mom die— who wasn't there for Sam. I always was! He wasn't fair! I didn't deserve what he put on me. And I don't deserve to go to Hell!
Supernatural Season 2 | 2.01, 2.02, 2.03, 2.09, 2.10, 2.14 + 3.10
#good gifs with free tools challenge#2.01#2.02#2.03#2.09#2.10#2.14#john#compilation#pk rewatches spn number ?#dean the narrative heart#deans moral compass#3.10#spn and causality#parentification#season 2#season 3#i carved you into a new animal#multiseason#i dont deserve what he put on me#no one can control you but you#dean and introspection
361 notes
·
View notes
Text
I’m fucking pissed about how spn ended again
How every fucking character arc and development arc was sent into the fucking garbage chute without a care
How nothing would have been different if the pilot never happened
How Jack wasn’t allowed to mourn anyone, not Cas who he knows died for him, not Sam or Dean like Cas talked to him about in 14x14, not even himself and his lost childhood like imagine if Dean and Jack sat down and talked about what it was like to grow up too fast because it was needed
How Dean wasn’t allowed to mourn his best friend, romantic feelings reciprocated or not (they were)
God I’m just so fucking mad about it all because it went to hell in a hand basket in the span of like slightly more than one episode (ending scene and montage from 15x19 I’m looking at you - you sucked as well)
I hate hate hate that this show ended this way and I know that finale denying is so nice but it doesn’t change that they ruined their show and their characters and their development from mid twenty somethings to middle aged dads by sticking them back in their pilot styles and having their last lines be the first they spoke and undoing a decade and a half of growth by having that happen
I mean what was the point of it all if it ended the same way it always would have if Dean never turned up on Sam’s doorstep. What’s the point? Why should we have cared about any of it if everything, all the friends and family and enemies were suddenly just not at all important?
Why tell us Dean wants to stick his toes in the sand and retire, that he thinks he could be a good dancer if he wanted to, that he has a fucking family John, if you’ve plan on killing him from the start of the season?
Why have witch!Sam and hunter team captain Sam if you are going to stick him in a cookie cutter. Why have him get out of the life just to have his son end up in it?
Why focus a season around the emotional storylines of a troubled yet stubbornly loving family if you are going to destroy it the second you get the chance to?
Why have Jack say it’s the small stuff he’d miss if he was going to die young only to make him god and take away all his chances of being that normal kid with that normal life.
Why have Dean say Jack is their kid in the first episode of the season just for him to say Jack’s not family by the 17th.
Why have Cas’ biggest moment be a queer love confession only to ignore his existence and deny his family a chance to acknowledge a mourning period?
And that’s not even bringing up the plot holes and dropped plots/storylines
I just do not understand how they thought this was an ending worth going with, how they were okay with a measly 30% of the audience enjoying it (a number they predicted before the finale aired). I don’t know who to blame, how high up I should go or how low down I should go, is it the writers? Singer and Kripkie (also adding yourself into the finale my god could you be any more self aggrandizing)? The network? All of the above????
No amount of fix it fics will make up for the fact that causal viewers saw 15x19 and 15x20 as the ending of spn, that 30% (and we fucking know who they are) loved how the story ended for everyone, that they alienated huge swaths of their most dedicated viewers for - as best as i can tell - shits and giggles, that they killed a suicidal man who wanted to live, that they killed an opening queer character only to bring him back to life off camera and mention him once afterwards. That they said the only good ending for traumatized, hurt people was death and a promise of paradise in heaven.
Supernatural was supposed to be about family that was so much more than blood, supernatural was supposed to be about second (or like twelfth) chances and learning to live after the fact, and they did away with all of it. And I can’t forgive or forget that
#spn#supernatural#destiel#castiel#dean winchester#sam winchester#jack Kline#suicide tw#tw deans death
54 notes
·
View notes
Text
really the biggest causality in the great spn spiral (2018-ongoing) has been my phone’s autocorrect function. how has it still not learned fuck but knows shit like mishapocalypse and if I mistype any word starting with d it will IMMEDIATELY change it to dean which is a source of great shame for me and my family
99 notes
·
View notes
Note
hi i just wanted to say i have been Thinking about your mary/rowena gf girlboss tag on my spn family tree...... especially the dynamic of Mary barely lives for 30 years VS Rowena who's been there for centuries
Mary who turns to Rowena for issues like 'what's your wisdom witch (affectionate)' but Rowena's advices are just either kill him, get a rich husband or move to another country in another time
Rowena knows so much about the Grand Scheme of Things and the social dynamics, like Mary will complain about minimum wage and Rowena's like 'yeh capitalism is bad blabla we've been knew' but Mary has a new look on everyday things & she adapts quickly in everyday life stuff so she'd ask Rowena stuff like 'why don't you just internet the phone number instead of doing a spell? also logically it's probably about your amazon order just call back' and Rowena pretends it's a conscious choice bc she doesn't trust muggle things but actually she just forgets how to be a regular human being
also Mary keeps a witch killing bullet around her neck and it's actually a gift & show of trust from Rowena but they both pretend it's a constant threat
YOUR MIND!!!
Thanks for coming to talk to me about mary/rowena, they live in my mind rent free, i don’t know why this ship isn’t more popular. (sorry this got a bit long, but i have many Thoughts)
I love the “witch (affectionate)” cause really Mary has grown up her whole life thinking that witches are bad, that they are monsters to be killed, but she comes back in a new world and her sons are friends with demons and angels and werewolves and she... maybe she can learn that the world isn’t as black and white as she was told, by falling for a wicked old witch.
I see it starting as reluctant allies because Mary is working a case and she needs a spell and obviously Sam and Dean tell her to call Rowena and they work it together. Neither of them trusts each other at first - Mary calls her ‘the witch (derogatory)’ and Rowena says she’s just like her sons, pretty face but no brain- but they have to learn how to work together (cause Rowena wants something from the thing they’re hunting and Mary wants to save people) and by the time they close the case Mary calls her ‘witch (affectionate)’ with a playful smile and Rowena is shamelessly flirting. (i think this happens after s13 and of course in this universe Mary never dies)
I think they make out before Mary actually accepts her bisexuality and she FREAKS OUT, because she never thought about this before. she met john in highschool (i’m not mistaken about this, right?) and yes, girls were pretty, but she was not like that, she liked dudes, so it never crossed her mind. She has a heartfelt conversation about this with Dean and when she later tells Rowena about this she’s like ‘you lads are so close minded, like mother like son’.
They bond over their failed roles as mothers. Mary tells her how she can’t help but feeling guilty over leaving after having just come back and Rowena is the first person to actually understand her and tell her she did the right thing. Sam and Dean are adults and they can’t expect her to be a mom, she should be allowed to choose her own life for the first time.
also I love you idea about Rowena using magic for everything!! neither of them is really adapted to todays world but Mary at least tries, Rowena, however, usually forgets she has a phone.
AND THE WITCH KILLING BULLET!! I LOVE THAT CONCEPT. It starts in that first case, Mary shows her the bullet, threatening her. Rowena laughs at it like ‘look at you cute young thing, all so bravado and righteousness’, but also she’s a bit worried cause she doesn’t feel like dying again. Of course Mary doesn’t use it and it becomes a recurring teasing between them. Neither of them is the kind to make a commitment but it kinda is when eventually Mary takes the bullet out of the gun and wears it in a necklace. She plays it as causal and jokes that it is to remind her that she still has it, but they both know its a way of always having a reminder of her close to her heart. Mary changes her husbands ring - a sign of what she once thought was freedom but was just another lie chosen for her, a reminder of loss and mistakes, of all that was taken from her (her youth, her choice, her life...) - for a sign of actual freedom, of new beginnings, of having control over your own life and using it to tear down the bigotry that was taught to you.
Please come and add anything you want 'cause i'm obsessed with this <3
#SORRY THIS GOT SO LONG#supernatural#mary winchester#rowena macleod#mary/rowena#aslo i'm dying with the 'it's probably about your amazon order just call back' GOLD#roublardise#maryrowena
49 notes
·
View notes
Note
im still confused as to why the C*W thought they made good decisions? did they not expect the negative outpouring they got? did they think the most popular and well-known couple in modern pop culture would not be celebrated if it went canon and mourned if it did not. I just cannot make sense how they didn't see any of it coming. Cas' confession alone trended above an election, could have been absolutely amazing press for the network, would have made history frankly, if they'd allowed dean to reciprocate on air and yet they thought all that paled in comparison to a cowboy cop reboot in the wake of massive socio-political current events?
it's pretty simple: even though we cannot begin to wrap our heads around this, it's a fact that the majority of the viewers (general audience) were not destiel shippers (to put it mildly) and they were always afraid to scare off that part of the audience, which is why the market research went the way it went, and why the finale went the way it went. and that general audience? is the reason they made w*lker in the first place.
some more asks after the cut
honestly i am so bitter that fandoms are the ones who give the network the money, devotion and love that keeps shows on the air and get spat on, yet everything they do is for "the general public" who causally tune in for an ep or two, maybe finish the show but have no feelings about it either way. i know money makes the world go round but it's just so unfair that dedicated spn fans found so much heart in the show, saw so much of themselves in these characters for 15 years and were basically told they didn't matter all because of a straight conservative demographic that has not mattered to this show since season three.
agreed, but i think you underestimate the general audience and how many people watched the show who weren't actively shipping destiel. i saw a research about this once and it shocked me too but it definitely showed that a large part of the people watching are, in fact, the general audience. unfortunately.
A lot of the times I feel like the writers treat Cas like a punching bag: first he’s Heaven’s instrument who must do what he’s told, he rebels and then is blacklisted by the leaders, he tries to save his people from Raphael and the power corrupts him, which gets him dead but then he just loses his memory. He tries to redeem himself by helping Sam and goes insane and gets sent to Purgatory where is hunted, comes back and Naomi uses him as a puppet by effectively lobotomising him, he rebels and is back living in hiding. Metatron uses his grace to throw the angels from Heaven and he is public enemy #1 AGAIN, but now human and HOMELESS. His best friend kicks him out, he gets another army but dumps it all for one human who takes him for granted. But Cas CONTINUALLY puts his life on the line for Sam and Dean but he loses something else to show for it. Even when he gets his grace back, his wings are broken. And when he finally feels like part of the family, says “I love you” to the human he’s repeatedly sacrificed for, he’s erased from the narrative!?!?!
WTF? Can the poor multidimensional wavelength of celestial intent get a break?
*hugs Cas with tears in eyes*
- 🎓
im hugging him right there with you <3
its been so long and i am still infuriated by the finale. i wish the people who had the final say in all that shit would never be able to do anything in tv again if they think any of that slop was alright by any means. (actually i wish i could look them in the eye and call them out for the cowardly money-grubbing fucks they are.) i almost wish i had gotten a ticket for that bob singer panel just so i could blast him since im sure he had something to do with it somewhere. im already prepared to hear "we go where the story takes us," his favorite party line.
you and me both
#graduation cap anon#warning: the asks i answer are of the venting nature and focus on some negative things#jsyk before clicking the 'read more'#im not gonna be engaging with any new asks i get about this because i think we all agree that it sucks and we cant do anything about it#so that's that
18 notes
·
View notes
Text
There's CANON and then there's ANTI-CANON. One creates universes. The other devours universes. They exist side by side in SPN, both onscreen and off.
Though numerous meta-analyses have explored the causal relationship between them, no conclusive results have been reached ...
In summary, please fund my research.
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
you're interrogating the text from the wrong perspectives
I believe that killing Cas imminently after his confession made queer fans (like me) of the show believe that they did not deserve a happy ending. Cas and Dean have been in love with each other for years, we have been queerbaited thousands of times, my hopes for the finale were low but somehow the finale still managed to let me down.
Legacy, Hazel Domain, quoting an anonymous fan.
There's a lot to unpack.
1. That's not... quite how media interacts with people. It's not a straight line of 'no happy gays, guess I can't be happy :('. It's subtle and pervasive. With queer stories, it's a way that society isolates us. We are invisible or we are evil or we deserve to be punished. Media doesn't create this oppression, it just adds to it. It adds to a terrible mindset as opposed to giving us very specific feelings.
Representation of marginalized groups are almost always flawed and incomplete. We don't get much space and, often, the space we do get is actively hateful.
I don't think Cas' ending was coming from a place of hate. If you want to read his story as a gay angelman who died for a straight man and didn't get a happy ending, fine. But I find it hard to believe it actually made you feel that you didn't deserve a happy ending. I think a more honest retelling would be more nuanced. Subtler. It made tired and angry. I just wanted to see a person like me in a loving relationship and a happily ever after.
But that's not the story that's going to be highlighted because it gives the game away. Supernatural didn't traumatize you. At worst, it was more shit on a shitpile and that's not nothing, but it's also not as provocative. But saying that means acknowledging the wider world and the relative insignificance of Dean/Castiel to the trauma of queer people as a whole.
2. Cas and Dean have, objectively, not been in love. You can make a case for Cas being in love with Dean. But Dean's been up front: he's straight. Also, he's not really interested in a long term romance. He tried that with Lisa, didn't work out. Mostly he just wants his domestic partnership with Sam while getting some causal hookups with toppy women.
2, corollary a. you weren't queerbaited. Everyone involved with SPN has been pretty clear Destiel Is Not Happening. At best, we get nods to Castiel being in love with Dean from certain people involved.
2, corollary b. the ship bait and teasing the show does about Dean and Cas (and Cas and Sam, kindasorta with Dean and Sam But It's Complicated because Sam and Dean are basically married without the sex) being lovers or boyfriends does rely on homophobic ideas. The joke is that Cas and Dean aren't actually lovers, because that would be weird. Dean is a man's man who loveeeeeeeeeeeesssss pussy and Cas is a virgin who can't drive until a sexy sexy demon lady inspires him to act on what he learned from porn. Also, he was randomly married and sexually assaulted. Damn this show is a Hot Mess.
Anyway, you're right that there's homophobia at play. But no one in charge was trying to court a queer audience for gay money.
5 notes
·
View notes
