#soul.symphonies | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

mygnolia · 2 years

Text

thunderstorms and you. | yjw

s: There's something about the loud sounds of thunder that you seem to quell oh so easily.

p: yang jungwon x gn!reader

wc: 1.2k

au: teeny bit angst, mainly friendly fluff

cw: snack mention, fear of thunderstorms

a/n: first thing i have posted in literal MONTHS. this is VERY unedited and tbh it's not my best work,,,I'd love to get back into writing so share ur thoughts!!!

!! a part of the soul symphonies collab hosted by xin of @prettywon !!

Jungwon has never been good with things like storms. It was too dark- too melancholy and dim to deal with the sudden loud sounds of thunder.

“Pick up…” he mumbles almost impatiently, watching the rain slowly descend down the window. His gaze flickers back to the phone screen, and he clicks the speaker button in hopes it does anything to make you answer.

“Hi! You’ve reached _____, well, technically not, but leave a message!” Your voice is scratchy with the poor voicemail quality, but Jungwon pays it no mind- instead, he focuses on the seconds slowly increasing on the screen. The sky outside bursts with a strike of lightning, and the boy jolts before closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. “Hi, _____. It’s Jungwon.” He finally lets out.

His eyes widen in recognition- you probably knew it was him from the contact, and he feels just a bit more dumb doing this.

“I was…I was just wondering if you were awake, it’s not too late right now, and I just want someone to talk to. Or just- just something to distract me.” He exhales slowly, glancing outside before grabbing a blanket and situating his phone on his nightstand. Jungwon stares up at the ceiling, fidgeting with a corner of the fluffy fabric and thinking of anything to talk about.

“I was just hoping you’d pick up-“ His eyes widen. “I don’t mean that you have to pick up all the time, but just to call or something.” He feels like a total idiot with a small grin painting his features.

“There’s a storm right now and you know how I get with that kind of stuff, so maybe I could just ramble it all out?” He runs a nervous hand through his hair. Jungwon had never done anything like this to anyone- hell- barely anyone knew that thunderstorms were his demise and that you were his answer.

“Okay- well, uh, I was thinking about this the other day when I read ‘rolling hills’ for english, and that chapter where the main character finds that friend in the grocery store? It kind of remember me of us- with the whole coffee spills and us not knowing where to go to clean it up.” He pauses to chuckle, delighted at the memory you two shared when you first met each other. “I also hope you’ve been doing okay, with exams and your friends…” Jungwon trails off, suddenly feeling embarrassed at the whole idea of talking to you through a screen. “And in the other chapters- I don’t know if you’ve read yet, but like, that part where he takes his friend to the field of flowers was like that time we had that picnic. I don’t know if you remember any of this, but it just crossed my mind.” Jungwon buries his head into his hands as a distant rumble of thunder sounds, and presses that big red end button.

He texts you, at first it was once, but a few texts later and it’s three message bubbles on his end as he waits for your response. Just as he’s about to text you once more, your icon flashes on the screen and he immediately goes for the green accept button. The crackling of rain and poor phone quality immediately makes Jungwon feel better.

“I’m sorry! I was driving home and was so focused on not crashing that I didn’t see your voicemail. Do you want me to come over?” The boy on the receiving in shakes his head with a small smile blooming on his features.

“Sure.” He says, and it’s all you need to hear.

Jungwon spends 10 long minutes listening to anything to rid himself of the feeling he gets every time the darkened clouds strike down and the sky booms just a bit more. Ten long minutes, and you finally show yourself with a black umbrella and your teddy bear pajama pants. He had always regarded you as a leisurely person; never late to classes but never rushing to get anywhere. Things seemed to work in your favor when it came to timing, and seeing you out of breath with a red bag in your other hand was something new. Jungwon flashes just one more smile at you, and opens the door for you to come in.

You both spend your evenings rewatching old shows, and you finally convince your friend of too many years to watch a few episodes of My Little Pony, to which he falls in love with the characters while simultaneously picking out their flaws. You roll your eyes, reminding Jungwon that My Little Pony is made for seven-year-olds, not almost graduating critics who never had a childhood with the show.

“Jungwon, you should turn on some music.” You comment, laying your head on one of his large plushies. Jungwon nods absentmindedly, and you take the time to connect your phone to his speaker and shuffle your playlist. The storm has reduced to a lighter rain, and it hits the roof loud enough to make a sound, but not loud enough to disturb you from anything.

keshi.

Your friend immediately perks up, looking at the speaker when he hears the first few notes, and back to you.

“Hey, don’t look at me like that.” You shrug lightheartedly. “This song reminds me of you anyways.”

“And how’s that?”

“Just-here. Let me find the lyrics for you.” When you search the song and show him the lyrics on your search engine, he scrolls to catch up with the song, eyes darting across the screen in the same analytical manner that he used to call twilight sparkle unrealistically optimistic.

“Still don’t see how this reminds you of me.” He comments, giving your phone back. You roll your eyes, beginning to read out some of the lines.

“I don’t know how to do this without you. I mean- not really, but like, I know with the whole thunderstorms thing it gets pretty rough for you.” You start, scrolling more to further prove your point. “And that voicemail you sent is like the “hello, you awake right now” part.” Jungwon buries his face into his hands with embarrassment and you laugh. “I’m not making fun of you for being scared of thunderstorms, it just reminds me of you. Plus, less of you is a great song. Keshi went so hard.”

His cheeks must hurt from how often you make him smile, laugh, grin- anything of the sort. He reaches for one of the chip bags and finds another song to put on. It continues on like that for a while- just the two of you singing the lyrics you know and humming the parts you don’t, until the rain stops and you fall asleep to a slow love song in his fluffy blanket.

Jungwon finds solace in you- he smiles at your rambling and laughs at your jokes even in they aren’t funny, and he doesn’t realize the corners of his lips are pulling into a grin until you do the same, and suddenly, you’re laughing at how he's smiling at nothing, when really, he's smiling at you.

the thunderstorms are long gone, but the sound of his heart is pounding in his ears.

permanent taglist: @meraniki @soobin-chois @ethereal-engene (send an ask/dm to be added!)

GUYS REN POSTED AFTER LITERALLY 3 MONTHS OF INACTIVITY?!?!??!?! i haven't rlly been into kpop other than jamming it out to their songs and stuff but like it's summer so im hoping to get back on my kpoper shit BHAHHA anyways this is lowkey work vomit jungwon smiles so f wording much but i hope u enjoy this

118 notes · View notes

koroktsuya · 2 years

Text

pleaser

# synopsis: Heeseung has always been called a people pleaser, so why can't he please you?

# starring: best friend!lee heeseung, oblivious gn!reader.

# featuring: enhypen's 02z, sunoo (mentioned), txt's taehyun and beomgyu (both mentioned).

# word count: 4K almost even

# content: sfw, unrequited love, pining, angst (?), songfic!

# warnings: i'd say none, lmk if i should add anything!

# a/n: so, this is for prettywon's collab soul symphonies, you can check out other works by clicking the first tag at the end of this post. also, i do not own the image, i found it on pinterest, which led me to twitter but twt said the tweet have been deleted. this is the song i chose for this fic. hope you enjoy!

Heeseung is at Decelis’ end-of-the-year party, celebrating with classmates and friends who are mostly hanging out nearby the pool, playing games, chatting by the snack tables or getting not so secretly high on the roof.

Heeseung himself is bouncing up and down on a trampoline with other two classmates, lips stretched into a wide smile as a laugh escapes him. His feet hit the elastic again, and again, and again and— huh? his eyes catch a blur of hair, and his ears hear the wisp of a chuckle, suddenly, he sees you again.

His heart stops as he falls on his back. He watches forlornly as you laugh at something one of your classmates says and right after, you press a kiss to his best friend's lips.

His back burns against the searing heat of the trampoline and so is something inside his chest, but not because of the jumping mat. You're beautiful, and Beomgyu and you are perfect for each other.

Heeseung is busy dreading his existence, thinking of where he could hide before you see him. He's about to leave when your eyes catch his, once again, heeseung feels how his heart skips a beat.

Your eyes widen up and you smile so big at him, it's not fair. He waves back and you turn to your boyfriend, say something and leave his side to start walking towards him.

Well, crap, there goes his elaborate and useless plan to hide from you.

"Hey" boy, did your voice sound way nicer than he actually remembered.

"Hey" is all he can say back.

"I haven't seen you in a while, even my mom's been asking about you" you say. it's meant to be a joke, but heeseung feels bad about it anyway.

"Yeah... things have been busy, lately" he mutters, but you catch it all the same even if you’re trying to get his eyes to look into yours.

"things have been busy, huh?” you ask, raising one of your eyebrows at him. He's still not looking at you as he shrugs and nods.

“Yup, I've had many things keeping me busy”.

“Busy enough to not pay a visit to your alleged best friend?"

“Uhm, yeah. Junior year’s a busy one.” Oh, Heeseung, what a bad excuse.

“So busy you even stop greeting me at school, isn't it?”

"Yes, Y/N,” he taunts, “busy enough to not even text if you want a visit so bad" he's suddenly turning to frown at you but relaxes immediately, he didn’t intend to talk to you like that, or at all, for that matter.

"Okay, fine. I guess we've both been neglecting our friendship” you sigh, regretfully but then you beam at him “but I’m here now, we’re both here. We should talk, catch up and all that”.

Heeseung should know better than to stare at your smile that makes his chest warm, he should know better than sighing and looking over to his friends, who are surprised to see him with you.

Heeseung should know better than agreeing to your request, because there is a reason why he hasn’t been talking to you as before and you aren't supposed to know.

Heeseung does actually know better, and yet “Yeah, sure. Just let me go to the restroom and we can talk”, is what he says to you.

“Great! meet me at the green table by the pool. I’ll get us some food” and you rush off, probably knowing that if you take any more time, your old friend will change his mind.

Jay is walking up to Heeseung and they both sigh. Before either of them can say anything, Sunghoon rushes and starts to talk.

“What did you tell Y/N? To leave you alone because you are madly in love with them and you're a people pleaser which is why you decided to take yourself out of the picture when she started to date one of your oldest friends?”

“What the hell, Sunghoon? no, you dumbass" Heeseung says, sounding very much horrified at his friends rambling.

"Shut it, Hoon," Jay intervenes, "so, what did Y/N say, then?".

"All they said was that they wanted to talk and I uh… I agreed”.

“I thought you said you weren’t gonna-” Jay starts, and Jake is suddenly there, listening as well.

“I know what I said, Jay, but… I rehalí like them, and I kinda miss them, y’know?”

“You bet we know,” Jake scoffs.

“I sleep right above you, I’ve heard you whining and everything for sooo long” Sunghoon chimes in, “I kind of guessed you felt something for them”.

“Whatever,” Heeseung rolls his eyes, “it’s nothing serious, anyways. I’ll just chat with them a bit, catch up super quick and we’ll leave it there ‘till next year”.

And that’s what he really intends to do. Heeseung stands up, leaving his friends behind with whatever else they could have wanted to say in their mouths and walks to the pool’s bathrooms, staying there for a few minutes to mentally prepare himself.

Heeseung doesn’t want to screw things up, not with you, not with Beomgyu, not with your relationship. So, he won’t say anything mean about not talking to you as much as before, if you ask -which you clearly will do- but he won’t agree to going back to what you two used to be either, because he knows he can’t do that.

He will try to keep the conversation as vague as he can, without asking you about the weather…

Or so he thought, but he’s bad at making conversation with a person he used to be so familiar with and no longer is, for reasons he needs to prevent you from asking about.

“I heard that the literature teacher wanted to fail your whole class” Heeseung says once you’re both sat down and eating some fries. It’s a good start, he might be able to share some school anecdotes with you until he can make an excuse to run away from you- discreetly, of course.

“Oh, that’s right! He was such an ass about this one assignment, and the entire class turned against him. We joined forces in a way that, for a whole minute I truly thought we would get away with it”.

“And then what happened?”

“For the next whole minute I thought we were screwed and I even saw myself going home, expelled,” Heeseung’s laughs just like you remembered and it makes you smile as you continue to talk “I mean, he was just so mad, the entire situation simply backfired. He didn’t fail us in the end, but he’s been acting much worse lately”.

“Right, we heard some of it in our class. He would sometimes complain about your group with ours. Jake thought it was very funny”.

You both share a laugh as you continue talking. It’s not as smooth as it used to be, but he thinks he might be doing well. A lot better than he expected.

Well… maybe he jinxed it three minutes too soon.

“So, is it me or the weather this year feels a lot hotter than last year’s?” wonderful, Heeseung, he thinks, you lasted like eight minutes before bringing up the weather.

You just look at him, with that smile you always gave him when you knew he was trying to hide something.

The two of you haven’t talked in weeks, but you still know him too well and you’re aware he’s trying to avoid the topic you’re trying to bring up.

“Do you remember the last time you went to my place?” fuck, does he remember.

He feels a pang in his chest just at the thought, and you just say it out of nowhere. He doesn’t even get a second or two to prepare for the attack.

It haunts him, it's all he thinks about when he's with his friends, when he does homework, when your favorite songs come up in his playlists. You can be damn sure he remembers.

He lives and relives that godforsaken afternoon and regrets every choice that led him to it, and everything he’s done afterwards. as dramatic as it sounds, it’s true.

He promised himself not to make it weird, but all he says is ‘yeah’ and it immediately feels so awkward. Still, you don’t seem to be one to give up easily, something he <loves> likes about you, so you keep talking.

“i had a lot of fun that day,” you push him lightly with your shoulder against his, heeseung feels like the contact burns “mom keeps asking when you’re gonna come by, she even says she’s getting a little sick of only having gyu coming over”.

gyu…

right.

Heeseung’s head leaves him no choice but to revisit all the memories of the two of you at your place.

Doing homework, watching movies, scrolling on your phones while one of you plays music on your speaker, the times where your mom and him exchanged recipes and the many times where you fell asleep on his shoulder as the movie peaked; on his stomach as he scrolled past many posts and your favorite songs played in the background; on his lap, as he finished his homework to help you afterwards with yours.

Sure, it hurts to think of how helplessly he fell for you, but it hurts twice as much to remember the last time he saw you at your house, when he's been trying to block the memory so badly.

Heeseung leaves you talking as you sleep, he doesn’t even say goodbye to your mom as he walks across your home in big steps all the way to the front door. While he rushed out of your house at first, he’s now walking slowly, taking in the streets he has visited many times.

Back in your room remain the words he wanted to say to you but couldn’t leave his mouth.

It’s getting old, really, this behavior of his, all the pining and the longing, but there’s not much left for him to do after what you told him.

He averts your gaze as his heart drops and he knows he has to put on his most convincing smile. He is your friend, the bestest, you would say.

When you’re done rambling, you ask him what he wanted to say before you interrupted, and Heeseung remembers, silence is what he does best, so he keeps his heart to himself. I forgot, he says, and… how long have you been seeing Choi Beomgyu, again?

Four weeks and a half, and in those four weeks you’ve seen each other 6 times, and Beomgyu always texts you throughout the day, and he’s apparently really nice and sends you cute videos and funny memes and– crap, Heeseung's about to puke.

“Wow, that’s great” he says and you’re a beaming ray of light in your darkening room, smiling as you talk about your boyfriend (is he already your boyfriend, anyways?).

“Oh, don’t be mad, Hee. I didn’t tell you before because I wanted to make sure things were going somewhere with him, I know he’s your friend-” probably was one of his best friends, he would point out, if he wasn’t about to mentally collapse.

“-and he also told me that he’s going to take me out tomorrow. I think he might make it official!” you squeal.

“Wow, that’s great” is he a broken record now? Well, no, of course not. Heeseung is aware he is not turning into a broken record, but he might as well be turning into one.

That afternoon, he lets out six more ‘wow, that’s great’ that couldn’t be more monotonous even if a robot said them, but he just doesn’t know what to say without bursting into flames or tears or... anything, really.

“I know!” Heeseung loves seeing you hyped, loves your excitement that reaches your eyes and the way you raise your voice, but he doesn’t love it when the person responsible for your happiness is your future boyfriend.

Damn it, he was just about to confess his feelings to you when you brought Choi Beomgyu up.

It goes on for a couple hours, you put him up to date with all the deets about your new relationship, a few more wow, that’s great come out of his lips and he keeps on mentally screaming.

At some point, the chatter dies down and Heeseung decides to stretch his legs a bit, so now he’s checking out your bedroom’s shelves for the nth time as you look for something you wanted to show him on your phone when he sees a photo strip of you and Beomgyu.

You're both making a silly face in the first one, smiles and peace signs on the second one and something happened in between number two and three because the third one has you both blurry and laughing, on the fourth one you have a small smile, but you’re both fondly staring at each other.

It kills him, to see how much you like his best friend. You used to have a strip photo with Heeseung, where the 02z joined for the last picture, on your birthday and you put it away to showcase the new one.

Is he going to be put away, as well? Stored in a drawer, probably, to put on display your shiny new guy?

Or are you perhaps expecting Heeseung to stick around, now that he knows about you two dating, and you think he'll be third-wheeling through town with you. Hell, no! Heeseung doesn't even know how he's gonna face Beomgyu at the music club without exploding from jealousy.

Well, he'll be damned. It’s his first night hearing about Gyu, not Choi Beomgyu, his classmate, or Beomgyu, his friend but Gyu, your boyfriend-to-be and he already knows he can’t do this.

Does that make him a bad friend? yes, probably. Well, more like absolutely, because he's supposed to be a good friend and support you.

But how can you be his friend and not realize he has feelings for you, and tell him all of a sudden about this new guy when he’s been here all this years, pining for you and waiting to be seen.

“Y/N… I don’t think I should come over anymore, at least not for a while. Things could get complicated and I don't want to tangle your head just because…” his shoulders deflate and his chest hurts once more when his eyes meet your sleeping form.

“… I like you.”

Heeseung always thought that he should look at you, no matter how difficult, as he tells you his biggest secret, the only one that he had ever dared to keep from you, but he can't decide right now if he would have preferred to not see you sleeping and find out until later, because the disappointment would've been just the same.

All he could tell at that moment was that, contrary to what he expected, he didn't feel any lighter after saying those words.

"So, your mom is…” Heeseung meditates his words and decides to say something different to his first idea “... is she cooking anything new?”.

“Yeah, she discovered food tiktok a few weeks ago”.

“There’s some good stuff there,” Heeseung states. You notice he sounds off, he stays quiet for a few moments and suddenly he is distant and changes the topic.

“Trust me, I know. Lately there’s a new recipe at least twice a week, and mom is even starting to consider becoming a foodtoker herself”.

“I’d be her number one follower, commenting on every video and promoting her account to anyone who will listen, if she did that”.

You laugh and nod, “yeah, I know. That’s exactly what I told her when she brought it up.”

The sun is setting and Heeseung feels enjoyment, he only chuckles but he’s all too familiar with this lightness that only comes when he’s with you, even after not being around you for so long, his heart is still the same.

“Maybe you should come by the house again so you can try some of her new recipes” you shyly suggest and just like that, you bring him down from the clouds.

Ugh, Heeseung hates you for doing this to him. He knows what you’re doing and it’s just plainly unfair.

“Hold that thought, I think I need a moment” he stands from where he was sitting, next to you, and you look with wide eyes at him, surprised at his sudden reaction.

“And where are you going?” you stammer, confused. Anywhere, just as long as he’s not near you, risking making plans to see you more or even to disregard your friendship rekindling attempts.

He can't give you what you want, even if he wants to, and he doesn't want to break your heart either, even if that's all he's doing.

“Err… to the restroom” Heeseung replies but he makes it sound more like a question.

“Again? you just went like ten minutes ago!”

“Yeah…” he awkwardly says as he looks around, hoping to spot any of his friends.

“Hee, it’s been three months. What happened?”

Heeseung is aware there’s something he should tell you, and still, your sad frown as you look up at him makes him bite his tongue off with an apologetic smile.

“It’s nothing. I just wanna find Jongseong,” you seem disappointed.

“Heeseung, seriously. What’s wrong?” he’s becoming a pro at averted eyes these days, and it's an art he's only perfected from being around you.

“Nothing, I…” he sighs and you look at him expectantly “I’ve just been going through some stuff, Y/N”.

“You’ve been going through stuff for a long while, now" you point out.

"It started with you sitting out the weekends but the most I’ve heard from you lately comes from your friends who no longer hang out with me,” you mutter, and heeseung really wishes he could just evaporate right this second, “are you okay?”.

“Yeah, sure,” he scoffs, “I’ve just seen that the times just change and seem to waste away”.

You look a little surprised, and Heeseung feels lost for words.

Could he possibly have just let out too much? If he somehow told you right now how he felt, would you know what he means?

All he wants is your happiness, and when it turned out you found it in the form of dating his best friend, he stepped aside, despite his every effort to be good for you, to be seen.

He forgot about his own happiness colored in the shade of your eyes and chose to allow his friend to take over. As Sunghoon always said, it showed he was a people pleaser, simply doing what will be good for others without thinking of what's good for him.

Heeseung once thought that no one understood him like you did, you saw right through his nice smile when he was upset. You always knew when he tried to lie, or hide surprises from you.

You were a Heeseung expert, and seemed to know his every thought even before he did, so why, why can’t you seem to understand this thing he's been hiding for so long?

“Are you…” Heeseung feels his heart in his throat as he looks anywhere away from your face “…mad? Is it because I'm dating Gyu? Look, I never wanted you to feel like I was stealing off your friend. If I made you upset about not checking in with you before starting to see him, then I’m sorry but-”

His shoulders deflate a little.

Like hell you would get what Heeseung actually said in between lines, he thinks he should’ve known better as he sits next to you again, leaving a little more distance between both your bodies than earlier “No, Y/N. Of course it’s not that.”

"Then... I don't think I understand. I thought you would be happy for me, at first. I mean, I found someone I liked and he happened to be your friend, so-"

Heeseung snaps before he even realizes, "my best friend, Y/N".

You lightly shake your head, from the sudden intervention "W-what?"

"He's my best friend, Y/N."

"Okay, whatever, so he's your best friend. What's your point?" You question Heeseung, and he's uncomfortable, he's hurt and he's fired up, already, so he keeps his ramble going like he hasn't said enough.

"That he's not just some classmate, or a casual friend like Kang Taehyun or even Kim Sunoo. Beomgyu was my best friend, the person who I liked the most, right after you".

You frown at his words, and the sharpness with which he talks, "so this is about me dating Beomgyu, after all".

"No, Y/N! This is about you thinking of dating anyone but-" Heeseung stops in his tracks, suddenly realizing what he was about to say.

He sighs, pressing his eyes closed for a moment, calming down and definitely lowering his voice "I'm sorry, just forget it. This is nothing related to Beomgyu being your boyfriend".

“Then what is it?! Please just tell me, Heeseung. What made you leave and pretty much ghost me?” you stutter out of frustration.

"I still see you, Heeseung, acting like your usual self with everyone else. You continue to help teachers when needed, you're chatty with your juniors, you're still the same-" pleaser might be the term you're looking for, "just tell me what changed".

Telling you is something he could do, but how is he supposed to? He lost his chance, four weeks and six dates before he knew he could lose it “I-I can’t, Y/N. I’m sorry”.

Quite the people pleaser, he was. Then why can’t he ever please you?

“Fine,” you say, and your voice breaks, he whips his head towards you and finds your eyes glistening with a thread of tears forming and your arms wrapped around your knees as you speak, “don’t tell me. But can you at least be my friend again? We could take it slow, maybe only text or something, I just miss you.”

Oh, Y/N, if only you knew. Heeseung wants to say yes so bad, to bask in your light again, to admire your smile and feel his heart soar when he’s the reason behind it.

But the fact that he thinks this way is exactly why he had to step away from you in the first place, it’s just not right to keep feeding into those feelings he knows will remain unrequited.

“No, Y/N. I can’t do that”

Once, he thought he had to look at you as he poured his heart out and let his feelings walk free.

But now, he knew he didn’t want your face etched in the memory of him breaking his own heart, “I stopped seeing you as a friend a long time ago”.

Did he ruin the moment?

Would he ruin your afternoon as he told you that you made him feel like a girl in a chick flick?

That he used to look forward to spending time with you more than spending time with his other friends and that he only applied himself in math so he could help you with your homework.

Or would he ruin it as soon as he mentioned how he thought your mother knew about this, the same way Jay, Jake and Sunghoon knew and you should know. And, honestly, even Beomgyu should’ve known.

He’s always been wearing his heart on his sleeve, when it comes to you.

Still, you looked past it and chose a guy he was close to, and who he still would continue to see for at least one more year, so yet again, he keeps his feelings to himself and talks vaguely.

“And it’s okay, that I've let go,” he says, for resignation, for the burial of his heart, for what he hopes will be a consolation to you, but knows it probably won’t be.

“For sake of conversation, you should read the writings on my sleeve, Y/N, because that’s the best you’re gonna hear, so maybe… I better leave”.

🌿 reblogs are greatly appreciated!!

#soul.symphonies #enhypen #enhypen heeseung #heeseung x y/n #heeseung x you #heeseung x reader #heeseung angst #enhypen fics #songfic #enhypen reactions #heeseung fanfic #lee heeseung #enhypen scenarios #enhypen imagines #enhypen angst #koroktsuya #🌿 lover's pond

190 notes · View notes

jakes-tummy · 2 years

Text

Good Enough -S.JY

Genre: comfort

WC: exactly 1k lol

warnings: mentions of depression and bottling up feelings, intrusive thoughts

A/N: hiii this is my work for the Soul Symphonies collab with @prettywon. I wrote this based on the song Good Enough by Evanescence.

synopsis: you’ve always struggled, but Jake would be there to help you and guide you out of the dark

You have always struggled with your self-worth. You had gone through so much in your life, each problem bringing more and more self-deprecating thoughts to your head. You drowned in them. Years upon years of thinking yourself a bad person for the feelings you had felt each time you were hurt, thinking you were weak, unwanted and unworthy.

All of those thoughts seemed to slip away when you were with him. Jake Sim. The prettiest boy you had ever seen. Although you would keep that thought to yourself.

His smile was contagious and so was his laughter. He was like the sun’s rays peeking out from behind dark clouds. He was your sunshine. He was your light. He was your guardian angel.

Although you hadn’t been close at first, Jake had been noticing you looked like you were going through a tough time. He didn’t like the distant and broken look in your eyes when you weren’t busy with anything. It made him sad. He wondered what your smile would look like. He wondered if he could make that happen.

So he had approached you first.

Well, not really approached, seeming how it started by passing notes in class. Luckily enough, the teacher had not caught him.

Are you okay? -S.J

You were surprised to say the least, at first not realizing the note was for you. You looked up to who had passed it to you, to see none other than Jake Sim looking at you with a concerned look. You looked back down at the note before scribbling down a response. One that seemed to come so naturally from all the times you had lied.

I’m fine :) -YN

From that day on, Jake would always find time to ask you the same question. “How are you?” (At one point, when you were feeling your worst, you thought about how annoying it was, having the same question repeated to you everyday. But you kept that to yourself. You were really just irritable, he wasn’t doing anything wrong.)

After weeks upon weeks of telling him “I’m fine,” you finally broke. You finally told the truth.

“Are you okay?”

“No,” you admit, your voice shaking. You were nearly choking on your words. “I’m not.”

The bottle you had kept everything stored in had shattered, and the tears refused to stop coming. You told him everything, all of what you were feeling, everything that was bothering you. You shared your hurt, your guilt, your sadness, your pain– everything– with him.

As much as it hurt to know how much you were struggling with, he was happy that you had finally spoken up and admitted your feelings. He was glad that you felt you could trust him with such personal information and thoughts.

As you rambled on, he only listened quietly, offering the only comfort he felt he could offer at the time.

Once you had calmed down, stopped shaking and your tears had dried, he began to speak.

“I’m sorry. How long have you been feeling this way? Have you told anyone?” The genuine care in his eyes almost made you start crying all over again. You’ve never felt so cared for.

You shook your head, sniffling. “You’re the first person I’ve told. I’ve always just bottled things up for as long as I can remember.”

“That’s not healthy, you know,” he said softly, placing his hand over yours, squeezing it gently.

“I-I know. It’s just a bad habit.”

The two of you sat in a somewhat-comfortable silence before he spoke up again.

“I want to help you.”

To say you were taken aback would be an understatement. “You… You want to help? Me?”

“I don’t like seeing you look so sad. I see you acting alright when you talk to others, but that’s all it is, right? Acting. When you’re not busy with someone else, you look so… so dead. So broken. I want to make you happy. I want you to smile. Actually smile, not just a fake one.”

“Why? Why would you help someone like me?”

He sighs, feeling awkward to admit something he was still a little unsure about, even though he meant well. “Because I like you.”

To be honest, he didn’t exactly have solid feelings for you at first, he only said that so he would be able to give you a reason, but he could admit to himself that during the time he spent with you after you confided in him, he felt good. You made him feel good, even if you, yourself couldn’t see it. He was convinced that you were the opposite of everything you thought yourself to be. You were all things beautiful and all things worthy. You had just been put on the wrong path by the ordeals you had faced on your own. The weight of all of that time having to deal with every feeling by yourself had deceived you into thinking you were nothing, when in reality, you were something. You were everything. At least to him.

You were something special. And he tried his best to make sure you knew it deep in your heart.

Everyday, he would remind you how loved you were, how beautiful you were, how brilliant you were, how proud he was of you. Everyday, he would greet you with an everlasting smile displayed upon his lips. He would always come up and give you a tight hug, one that felt like home. One that felt safe.

Sure, it took a while, but with more time and more help, it was working. Having someone by your side to guide you in the right direction, someone to lean on and talk to, helped so much. If you had any doubts at all, he would make them vanish into thin air at once. Jake left no room for doubt.

You felt your best when you were with Jake. He made you feel beautiful. He made you feel wanted.

He made you feel good enough.

#soul.symphonies #ficscafe #enhypenwriters #enhypennetwork #jake sim x reader #enhypen jake x reader #enha jake x reader #sim jaeyun x reader #sim jake x reader #jake fluff #jake sim comfort

57 notes · View notes