#sorry if this made no sense im just rambling
Text
i can't stop thinking about tai and shauna. how we see them start out as teammates about to fist fight at a party. as adults who only call each other on burner phones when there's an inkling of disruption of their peaceful lives. but as the story unfolds, so does their friendship. so does the fact that their lives are anything but peaceful.
how sleeping side by side in the attic turns into the "im not going to let you die from a botched abortion" all the way to "you almost died anyway let me hold you" and even decades after it all, tai still goes to shauna when she starts to struggle. you leaned on me out there all those years ago and im leaning on you out here all these years later. you shared your secrets with me then and you share them with me now. i didnt judge you then and i dont now.
how they're still 17 even when they're 42. how they'll always be 17 in some ways in every way. something something, taissa saying but did i actually do those things? something something darkness as a metaphor for trauma and how it never leaves you and follows you wherever you go and you'll always be the age you were when you experienced it.
#thinking about them and their friendship and how even if they aren't apart of each others everyday life they still have that foundation -#of trust and comfort and understanding#they still turn to the other when they need someone to lean on and i just think thats beautiful#yellowjackets#tai & shauna#episode 6 sent me into a spiral and i need at least 3-5 business days to process it all#sorry if this made no sense im just rambling
374 notes
·
View notes
Text
i don't know what order to start Dissecting, so i'll just start with:
it's absolutely fascinating how the dynamic Wally & Barnaby had - to my knowledge - before the update, and a dynamic i'd seen speculated elsewhere and generally accepted, has been completed turned on its head
see, given that Wally is the "main character" and Barnaby is classified as "his best friend", i got the feeling that Barnaby kind of... tags along on Wally's 'shenanigans'. that he's the sidekick, the best friend. especially since their dynamic has been previously & briefly described as "Barnaby is very polite to Wally." he's the Companion.
but the audios sorta paint a reverse picture. in the Interview, when Barnaby enters stage right, he completely bowls over Wally's introduction and dominates the interview. when the interviewer asks how the two of them are handling the fame, even outright asking Wally, Barnaby doesn't hesitate to answer the question himself, and only about himself. Wally doesn't get another word in edge-wise until the interviewer explicitly singles Wally out.
(now, an argument could be made that Barnaby knew that Wally was somewhat overwhelmed with all of the questions, and tried to take the reins to give him a reprieve. but, considering that the interview seems to be very early on the possible timeline - like, very soon after Welcome Home debuted - i don't think this is likely. i doubt Barnaby and Wally would've had the time to solidify their dynamic or really get to know each other that well yet)
and Barnaby continues to take point in pretty much all of their other conversations, too. like in the mystery Howdy/Barnaby/Wally audio, their interaction gives off the vibes that Wally is Barnaby's sidekick, his tag-along.
(on a related tangent, it's fascinating how the website described the episodes as "[beginning] with Wally introducing the focus or theme for the day before coming across other characters who would join him on his escapades until the end of the day." but from pretty much everything we've seen so far, it seems like He's the one who's just along for the ride, bouncing from neighbor shenanigan to neighbor shenanigan instead of having his own adventures.
of course, if the 14 audios are present time, which is honestly somewhat likely, this could be because the show isn't running. they aren't doing episodes - they're just existing, doing their things. no need for Wally to take point in any way shape or form. tangent over)
in the 14 audios with Barnaby, he doesn't even acknowledge Wally until the very end - which, of course, could be because that's how the scenes are set up. except that in some of them, the characters do directly acknowledge Wally's presence outside of the endings. Eddie in 5-14, Howdy and Poppy in 1-14, and Frank in 4-14 (technically, since he was infodumping to Wally at the very start before Barnaby interrupted). you'd think that a guy would try to include his best friend a little more!
maybe i'm reading into it too much. & given what we know about Wally as a character, it would make sense for Barnaby to be the go-getter Main Guy of the two. but it really seems like its Barnaby & Wally instead of Wally & Barnaby. he's just kinda... there. going along with whatever Barnaby is up to.
but also, on the other side of things - & it's occurring to me as i type this, it's interesting how in a lot of audios, Barnaby seems to seek Wally out. in "Just So", he shows up to fetch Wally. in 4-14, Barnaby interrupts Frank and Wally's gardening session, almost as if he's stopping by to check on his little buddy. in 7-14, Barnaby calls Julie's house (presumably) searching for Wally, or at least checking in once again. something to consider in all of this!
#and if the 14 audios are in the same day along a timeline - which they Are. im trying to puzzle it out rn but anyway -#its interesting how barnaby just kept. checkin. in.#they had three audios where they were already hanging out and then got two (technically three) more where barnaby checked in!#it feels like there's something there...#separation anxiety? a compulsion? love for his buddy? a secret fourth thing?#maybe he could tell something was Off with wally that day...#(which is a topic i will ramble about in a different post)#its a push & pull to be certain....#but yeah that plus all the evidence of Barnaby kinda being the Lead and wally being brushed off to the side....#what a complicated fuckin picture it paints!!! dont know what it means yet!#i have another post im working on centering on how the neighbors seem to treat each other - wally & eddie especially#but this post aint about that. itll be related though#homebogging#wh speculation#please let this have made sense!#when i make posts i just kinda throw myself at it bc i have No organizational skills!#my brain is a complete incoherent mess and i am so sorry if this post is messy <3
441 notes
·
View notes
Note
What was the future aventurine an illusion of the harmony or just his own mind making up ?
a bit of both i imagine! aventurine refers to his alt self as "newborn of the harmony", future!aventurine is definitely powered somehow by the brand sunday put on aventurine. at the same time, f!a knows things about aventurine only his own mind would know. imo that's what illusions of the harmony do, they take inspiration from your own mind, and use it to craft their illusions.
at any rate, i dont think you can fully call f!a a "fake", he is very real to aventurine, and by the end of the questline even offers him a measure of understanding. i especially liked it when f!a told aventurine to "say goodbye to the kid"—that part of aventurine's storyline involved reconciling his inner child and his own idea of his "future", and he comes out of it with a measure of peace that helps him accept what acheron tells him later.
"the answer has been with you, and is part of your journey"—and on that journey, aventurine encounters both his past and his future, finds the cornerstones jade and topaz lent him, opens ratio's note. future!aventurine AKA the illusion of the harmony is a personification of aventurine's jungian shadow, it has always been with him and is him; and by the very end, by walking into IX in a final gamble to survive no matter what, aventurine reconciles with his shadow.
because what was the armour-piercing question his shadow was always asking him throughout his journey through the amusement park? "why do you always take such risks while you gamble, for what purpose do you act this way"—and by finding the answer, which is, that life is still worth fighting for despite the pain and inevitability of the end; aventurine integrates with his shadow, completing his character arc and finding a measure of peace.
#honkai star rail#hsr spoilers#aventurine#anya.txt#anya replies#i just keep yapping nonstop about Him...#sorry im not really good at answering asks i just use them as a launchpad to ramble. hope this made sense
32 notes
·
View notes
Text
mizutaigen is literally like. the first "toxic" m/f ship i've ever cared for. cuz like usually my taste in m/f ships is basically "unhinged baddie" x "badass wifeguy" *
* (see:yen/geralt. trevor/sypha. adolin/shallan. kataang but katara is sane and they're literally so wholesome like theyre traumatised kids in love who are each other's emblem of hope in a war-torn world! so basically they don't count. anyway. i'm rambling.)
and to that end my friend called mizutaigen yaoi-adjacent and im like. yeah you're right actually cuz like hell yeah non-binary mizu and bisexual taigen rights and all the gender fuckery in the show in general
but also like.
theres just SOMETHING else about mizutaigen that just GETS me. like there's a special secret sauce like the pheromones in that one sephora lotion attracting spiders and i am the silly spider!!! there's just something about it!!! it's not even the enemies to lovers trope cuz i personally am not even usually into that (obv it's fine if you are. but yk.)
so as i keep rotating these thoughts around i thiiink it's the fact that, yknow, theyre so similar. like i honestly truly think they could be besties in another universe: a kinder universe where taigen was not taught to hate. a universe where mizu was not born a girl in a deeply misogynistic society or half-white in a xenophobic homogeneous society.
yeah now that i think about it that really just might be THE secret sauce!!! like the fact that they COULD be perfect and happy together, if only things were different, if only they werent themselves.
smth v bittersweet about that's just driving me insane and makes me want to root for them to overcome all those obstacles, to say "fuck all that" (re:the world and all its fucked up shit) and find each other in the end. to eventually become each other's fav person and confidant. who obv still bicker and tease and insult each other all the time but they dont really mean any of it and over time it just becomes a running gag between them and no one else has to get it because it's just between the two of them.
#mizu x taigen#taigen x mizu#taimizu#[clenches fist] it's about the POTENTIAL of it all!!!!!#like taigen's last words in s1 being 'we're not done yet' like ?!? has me WANTING to see more. wanting to see them grow with each other#like i want taigen by the end to be ridiculously head over heels WHIPPED and SMITTEN willing to die and kill and just be BETTER. for mizu.#mizu. the person who changed his entire life. his entire worldview. pulled the rug from under him and made him a man forever changed.#to overcome his selfishness so he can be mizu's HOME in a world that doesn't allow her one#i want him to end up deciding like. 'on purpose. im going to love you on purpose.'#and mizu no matter how much she tries to convince herself that she cannot love or be loved. ends up accepting it anyway#love as work and violence but also love as rest and safety#and also bcs taigen represents the ideals of society. him willing to change & grow also represents society's potential to change & progress#LMAO okay sorry i absolutely cannot stop rambling about these bitches the brainworms are insane#bcs i just noticed that other mizutaigen enjoyers tend to also be in the same fandom circles for ships that i just. do not like. at all#and wondered like huh. i wonder why that is. and wondering what makes mizutaigen different#idk just ignore me i dont even know if im making sense my brain is goop from working on my research proposal#shut up haydar#fandom.rtf
53 notes
·
View notes
Text
Actually, imma post it! Since I haven't really posted stuff lately
Kotoko lacks emotional intelligence, she was never taught warmth nor how the world isn't black and white (which also plays on the neurodivergency hc but that's a different post). She was never given the tools she needed to grow as a person, and even if her mother was a housewife and always home, supposedly taking care of her and her brother, that doesn't mean she was a good mother or that she knew what she was doing.
In whichever way we see it, Kotoko was never taught emotional intelligence, even less to regulate her emotions. I personally believe on the theory that she had to deal with something traumatic (maybe the flashbacks on harrow) that she keeps denying and treating it as "it was whatever", and would add up.
Even when her mother home, she probably still had to endure the thought of not being enough, either explicitly told by one of her parents, or out of her own expectations from the wish of getting her parents' praise. We don't know anything about her brother yet, but that could go many ways, so I'll choose to wait.
Even to those who don't believe the theory of her going through something traumatic, emotionally unavailable parents, being expected to be mature because of whatever reason (herself or her parents)- not letting the kid be a kid, way too high expectations, and in general not growing up on a good environment, can be enough to make someone have strong morals, BUT she has to have seen injustice in some form, because that's what set her brain on "evil hurts the weak, I can't let injustice go unpunished"
Idk if any of that made sense, I'm tired, going back to bed now
#sorry i rambled too much and its late and im tired and idk if it made sense#seari talks#wife <3#i was debating on main tagging but i wont#< actually? fuck it.#kotoko yuzuriha#just that one so i can find it on my blog easier#seari writes#< more like a ramble but idc idc
27 notes
·
View notes
Text
it suddenly came to me what made me vehemently dislike svsss' plot after reading the sj extras
in lots of revenge/wish fulfillment stories its always the one who does the most and ends up getting fucked over deciding theyre done with it all and getting up to leave and everything falls apart without them
and logically speaking this is also how it shouldve gone in svsss, since not once reading through do i see any implications that sy made the sects life easier for anyone besides binghe in terms of teaching managing responsibilities and you know actually being a pl
but in the end thats not how it goes. sj is just gone, forever, and people prefer the replacement version who is in most aspects astoundingly less competent -- with the only real difference being that sy, who is lacking in years of formative trauma, is nicer to the people around him than sj. and no one ever cared to look deeper because thats what they wanted.
idk i just think shen jius story is soso horrid and tragic in both svsss and pidw and it really fucking hit me just now why i dislike shen yuan being made out to be the virgin mary herself so much when i dont typically mind ppl babying their favs
#of course my info might be off since im going off what i remember#i refused to reread rhe main story after reading the extras#i TRIED to of course#but sy just made me so angry#for no good reason!!!#but now ive figured it out#sorry if this doesnt make sense i js needed to get it out of my system#haha system. im so funny#ran rambles#shen jiu#svsss
101 notes
·
View notes
Text
I think we as a fandom don't talk enough about Aira being Hiiro's fan—y'know, as an idol.
It might be because most people don't read the main story, or because it's not blatantly stated in there like other things, but it's something I think is a very unique facet about their relationship.
As we know, Aira separates his professional life and his personal life a lot. He will wait in line to shake hands with Hiyori Tomoe and buy a dozen CDs just to have a couple of extra minutes just talk to him, even though he can do this at any time since they're both idols living in the ES dorms and friends from the same circle.
And while this is admittedly silly from Aira's part, he truly sees this something serious and actually, he's kind of justified in thinking this way? He takes pride in being an idol otaku, and he wants to play as fair as possible with fellow fans, he doesn't want to take advantage of the fact that he's living and working alongside these super stars, and in my eyes that just shows how pure-hearted and honest he is.
With that in mind, it would be obvious to conclude that Aira would be a fan of his unitmates. He's definitely a fan of Tatsumi and Mayoi, but it's explicitly said in the MS that Aira is a fan of Hiiro.
This is from episode 89, "Grace"
(this episode may or may have not changed my brain chemistry forever lol)
Here, Aira makes the statement that he wants to protect Hiiro as an idol.
Hiiro is new to this world; he's a rookie, he's unpolished, far from perfect, but he's brimming with potential and he shines brightly on stage regardless of his imperfections — especially to Aira's eyes, and Aira wants to protect that, he wants to keep Hiiro's shine, and to help him grow and become the great idol Aira sees in him.
And I just can't express how much this means to me??? To their relationship??? This is why I can't understand people who say Aira doesn't care about Hiiro (these are opinions I've read way too often on twitter...), when Aira more than anyone wants to protect him not only as a person (like when he comforts him, cheers him up and motivates him after Rinne disowns him), but also as an idol. Aira trusts in Hiiro the idol. He sees his potential and he admires him deeply — not only as a fellow idol or as a friend, but as a fan.
And what gets me is the wording Aira uses here. He talks about wanting to protect Hiiro, to defend him. This is stated in another chapter and I don't remember exactly where (I believe it's one of the last episodes of the MS, but please correct me if I'm mistaken), but Aira states that he wants to protect Hiiro's purity — and this can be interpreted many ways, be it in that he wants to protect Hiiro's innocence as in his personality trait (his endearing naivety, his trusting and friendly nature, his endless curiosity, his earnestness and sincerity), or his purity as an idol, in the sense that because Hiiro is an idol, he has an appearance to keep, he has to be shining and to be pure and beautiful all the time (because that's the image idols give to the world, to their fans; the image that gives countless of people like Aira hope); this can include protecting Hiiro from the darker sides of the industry, such as toxic fans, unhealthy relationships with fame, corrupted producers or people from the industry, among other things. Aira seems to be aware of these issues (as he mentions in the second chapter of the main story, see below), so it makes sense that he wants to shield Hiiro, who knows absolutely nothing about this industry or the city, from those things.
Episode 24, "Suspicious"
And personally, I think Aira means both. He wants to protect Hiiro's purity as a person: he wants to protect the cheerful and positive Hiiro he knows and loves and admires (Aira himself states this. Multiple times. So much so that Aira often comments about how uncomfortable he feels when Hiiro is gloomy or troubled, that he is always the first to ask what is wrong or if something is bothering him.... but talking about Aira's high perceptiveness for Hiiro's emotions is a topic for another day) — but he also wants to protect Hiiro as an idol, wants to protect the immaculate image he gives to the world and to his fans, because Aira loves him, the same way he loves an idol from a fan standpoint. And he hopes that by protecting this purity, Hiiro will grow to be the talented and shining idol Aira knows he can be.
And what gets me is that after thinking of Hiiro this way, Aira snaps out of his self-deprecating thoughts and decides to give his best in the Ullambana (episode 89). Aira literally overcame his insecurities because of Hiiro. Thinking of having to do his best and keep working hard in order to keep up with him and with Alkaloid gave him the strength he needed to stop spiraling down his own insecurities and focus his efforts into something that was worth it: in keeping Alkaloid alive, and keeping Hiiro The Idol alive, because Aira believes he will become an idol that will soothe, delight and captivate hearts of many like Aira in the future — and Aira has to become an accomplished idol and a strong person if he is to be next to him on stage to protect him and to help him grow.
-
I say a lot, mostly jokingly between my friends, that Aira is the biggest HiiroP... but after writing this whole post, I realize I'm not so far off from this assumption. Aira loves Hiiro as a friend, we all know and understand that, but what is often overlooked is that Aira—who divides his professional and personal life so strictly—recognizes the rookie, unpolished, but talented Hiiro as an idol, and he wants to see him grow and succeed not only as his friend and unitmate, but also as a fan. Hiiro is so shining and wonderful on stage that it awakens the idol-ota instinct on Aira, it brings him back to his roots where he watched and admired idols from afar and inspired and soothed his lonely heart. And honestly? I think this is terribly wholesome, if not incredibly beautiful, and I'm getting emotional over hiiai once again, so I'm going to finish the essay here. Thanks for reading ahdjfk
#we also don't talk about aira being the one protecting hiiro enough...#we usually think of hiiro since he's physically stronger and there's been scenes where he acts very protective of aira#like the famous “let go of aira!” scene w rinne#but we as a fandom often forget that aira does protect hiiro#albeit in a more subtle way#but honestly to me that's what makes it even more noble and admirable.#aira is tiny and weak but he's still one of the most determined and hardworking characters in enstars#and if he has as one of his goals to protect Hiiro's purity#then he will#idk man im just very moved by kanojo-kun trying his best to protect hiiro and his smile#and how he wants to nurture his potential as an idol bc he knows hiiro is capable of giving other people hope#the same way idols in the past did for aira#ueueueue#sorry for the long ramble#this was kinda copypasted from a chat w a friend on discord#but i tried changing it a bit so it makes more sense all together#hope it made sense lol#ensemble stars#enstars#enstars alkaloid#alkaloid#aira shiratori#hiiro amagi#hiiai#my post
98 notes
·
View notes
Text
been able to keep both my fear and hype about totk in check by watching nothing but elden ring videos for weeks but now i read something on accident and my anxiety is going through the roof again
#ganondoodles talks#pls nintendy#dont do this#it was only a sentence with no clear spoilers or anything#but by god its put fear in my heart again#pls let totk be its own game#id even be willing to spoil myself on some stuff just to know my fear isnt based on truth#i hate that i feel like this#even if im better able to stop panic attacks before they happen#i still feel so silly for feeling so strongly about a game and its lore#but no matter what i try i cant help it#its been my thing of comfort for so long i wouldnt know what else i would focus on if i were to lose it#and it would be so much work - years of work- basically wasted#plus i would feel so bad having made people be interested only to abandon it before its even really started#the only thing giving me comfort if this was the case is knowing id just post all lore -concept art -drafts and scripts#as a sort of -this is what i had been working on for all these years- so at least the people who cared could get an idea of it#and in the unlikely case that it would be liked by alot of people#i would keep working on it despite it making no sense anymore#im rambling on trying to calm myself down#sorry#gotta be exhausting reading my anxious ass tags over and over#;__;
101 notes
·
View notes
Note
I actually don’t know if you’ve considered this either, but what about their reaction to one of the “ends” to exile?
I think there was one where the witness lead them on a hunt with recordings, which was where “to the ashes go the spoils” came from originally if I remember right
If they left one for Shin, I think it would be “a startling hope for those in the ashes”
CRYPTID. "To the ashes go the spoils" CAME FROM YOU. IT WAS WOLF'S PASSWORD IN... uh. Wweee have too many AUs. BUT THAT WAS YOU.
Okay I. actually haven't. Apparently I marked it down in my notes as something to cover and then... never did. oops?? But. agh. alright
In canon, Shin tells Wolf;
I will help where I can, with knowledge gained from a life hunting the very dangers you tempt. And though we'll never meet—our paths crossing at a distance as we each seek to confront all that drives us—from this moment on, our lives will never be the same.
I think, I want to keep this canon? As in, they don't meet, not in person. See each other from a distance, leave little things and messages for one another (mostly from Shin, though)--But not meet. They know each other through the most Hunter tendencies possible, and Shin adopting them still remains true. Its... all very Hunter-typical, I think. That one guy that funded an artist under the condition that they never meet lmao
So... A message left in warning, or any other reason, wouldn't be atypical. Shin probably ends up with his own ones, written in back-ups for just in case. Probably a lot like Cayde's death messages.
But I think Shin would know. Immediately. Something is wrong with this, where is Wolf? What is context to this? The important of the location? This must be an older one, did he miss it when it was intended?
Messages left to the others; they were hidden in places that were expected. Hunters leave messaged in places that are strange, but known to be stumbled upon by the intended audience. Why would it be so easy for Aunor to find a message left for, say, Crow?
Wolf would hide it better than that, and Crow would know better.
Something's wrong.
Regardless of the potential apologies, of the ranting and ramblings of Wolf's vents, Shin pins that something isn't right (funny, isn't that? His 'introduction' to them will be his goodbye, as well.) and sets to trying to figure out what's going on.
Drifter is getting really fed up with Shin's crap.
#we have so much brainrot and convoluted references to each other's stuff that we dont even know whos who anymore.#As It Should Be#we're throwing dead braincells at each other like a snowball fight i think#uhhhh sorry for making you wait for this one-- been a lil busy-#Should be more or less good now?#OH YEAH. WENT TO THE REN FAIR YESTERDAY. we were there for like 10 hours and i was dying of heat exhaustion (< wore a full pirate getup#in 90% black) but i looked GREAT and it was fun so. Worth#the forsaken exile#uhhh back on Exile tho#I thought it would be neat if the person hunting down these messaged would be Aunor.#As a story. Crow would make more sense. given connections and his whole center-stage thing#But Aunor just made sense to me?#Given the conversation with Ikora and the messaged to Wolf when it came to Drifter#Crow is... probably the one who gets the latter of those instead and im not sure how canon the Ikora one is but yk#orb rambles
12 notes
·
View notes
Note
I think there may be terfs coming out of the woodwork trying to turn trans people against each other. I've seen several terf posts within the past 24 hours trying to make it seem like transfems want to control transmasc, but the posts are always worded in that terf-y way that just reeks of pure transphobia.
Now, whether people are genuinely failing to read between the lines of flowery "progressive" sounding language? That's another story altogether.
Tldr stealth terfs are proving that no one is immune to propaganda
no genuinely. like when there was that anon going around sending transfems really vile messages claiming to be a trans man but it was really, really obviously a terf sending ragebait.
my opinion on the matter is, words like transmisogyny and transandrophobia should, can, and HAVE TO exist at the same time to describe our unique experiences. but its also very very important to remember that both of those overlap with eachother, theres not this huge solid wall between them and every trans person's experience is completely unique to them.
i dont think its useful to act like there are these boxes that oppression fits into that covers these broad categories while ignoring things like intersectionality and the basic fact that when someone is being transphobic, they dont try and puzzle out if youre ftm or mtf or transneutral or whatever, they just guess and attack you from there. its so ingrained in society its an automatic response for most of these people. it doesnt matter what kind of trans we are, we are 'othered' and treated as such.
conversations on who has it worse, or this concept that invisibility over hypersexualization is safer/inherent to your agab, it's all unproductive. it's a waste of time. they want to kill all of us.
they are trying to divide us so that we go nuts fighting with eachother and not them, and it's working. we know this is what they're doing because they openly post about doing so. we cannot let them win. we cannot break solidarity with eachother. we deserve better than that. we do.
#transphobia#asks#im so sorry if that made little to no sense#im high and rambling but i just want everyone to get along and love eachother tbh#t4t forever#what im basically trying to say is transandrophobia and transmisogyny are such important words to exist to describe#the way that our transness intersects with other aspects of ourselves#other ways society wants to hurt us#but being trans in some ways is trauma in its own right. and they want to exploit that. transphobia itself is an umbrella term that covers#both transandrophobia and transmisogyny#and i think that people can experience both no matter their agab or which way theyre transitioning#and thats not even incorporating multigender people into the conversation yet. its a huge complicated issue
18 notes
·
View notes
Text
I don’t know why I’ve seen so many people dislike Furina she’s so funny and I kinda relate to her on some level? Like it’s easy to project my feelings of learning to be an adult and all it’s uncertainties onto her relationship with being an archon idk there’s something there
Like obviously if you understand her character and she’s still not appealing yeah but the way some people talk about her,,,,
#genshin impact#furina#almond rambles#4.1 archon quest spoilers in the next tags but#seeing her barely able to figure situations out herself and constantly looking to others to be there and make choices for her#ohhhhh my godddd literally me#part of me thinks she doesn’t like her public image and she doesn’t like being an archon but they’re roles she feels forced into#the public image is closer to her choice but I think a lot of it is false bravado you know#though yes to some extent that is exactly how she is in private too it’s just a more exaggerated version made to be consumed#idk if I’m making sense anymore sorry#I think im just cringefail too
19 notes
·
View notes
Note
im sorry to hear people are stomping all over your boundaries, big props to you for sticking up for yourself and putting your foot down. I hope you're doing ok (/gen)
on another, hopefully happier note, i noticed your info post mentions that you self ship! I'd love to hear about your favourite self ships if you're comfortable talking about them some time?
i actually never did or had interest in this but then haitham waltzed in so hes the first and only one (this whole thing flusters me so its smth i indulge in for myself in private by reading or daydreaming or sometimes i babble and ramble about him very in depth)
(most hkvthm things i draw is just me going 'wish that was me' and drawing it LMFAO)
ohh also same w kaveh but in a slightly different way than haitham (theyre both the only ones) i want them to hold hands. i want them to hold my hands. there
#i dont feel attraction to ppl irl mostly bc im just not comfortable around ppl#and the ones i am are my friends and theres obv no romantic attraction#so when i saw haitham and learned more and mroe of him and how he and i share so many traits and ideas and things it was#instant comfort and the feeling of being understood#that its like#if he was real i would seek out his warmth and presence instead of getting away frm it like with my ex partners when it was too much for me#knowing that he would understand me therefore knowing how to handle me without making me uncomfortable or upset#uhh so basically. he made me realize all i want is just someone who perfetly understands me and knows how to treat me#when to come close and when to give me space#perfectly knowing me and reading me#i cant speak and in the rare moments i am able to im often struggling to form my thoughts into sentences that make sense#so he would still understand and put together that garbled mess and know exactly what i mean#not misunderstanding and acusing me of things or tones i never said or used#ppl and things messed me up quite a bit in the past that im having trouble w lots of things unless im alone#only when im alone i feel truly comfortable and safe bc nothing can hurt or upset me but even then you kinda realize in some moments that#you actually want someone with you but it has to be smn you trust and who knows you inside out and all that#i dont have anyone like that and idk if i ever will but rn this character is jsut rotating in my head giving me these things i crave and#thats enough#sorry that was a lot of gay rambling there but yea idk if it sounds stupid or nah but my#mental health issues got way better and balanced ever since haitham so he really#grounds me and gives me strength and comfort to deal with things i would have be unable to do in the past year#bc even if i dont have smn who truly knows and understands me#inside me there is someone#reply#tags tbd#in case i get embarrassed LMFAO
40 notes
·
View notes
Note
Are your gijinkas (race wise) based on the actors for the most part or the pokemons design for the most part? I'm curious to know :3
I don't really have a definitive answer for this, but when think abt it, it's a bit all over the place if that makes sense??
Like some of them aren't really a specific race (Like 4est, Pastey, and Lark), some are based on the actors (Like Jayweed and the Mykyie redesign I plan on posting soon) and some are based on the Pokemon's design (Sara and Braidy I think are good examples of this)
Tbh the only one who doesn't fall into either one of these categories is Grunpilo, that weird little freak.
#I hope this makes sense im rlly sorry if I worded it weird or made it sound confusing#Honestly Grunpilo just spawned into existence while I was drawing concept designs for other characters#and hes looked the same ever since#like the others have gone through at least a few small changes but not Grunpilo#I dont even remember how I created his design except for the fact that I wanted Grunpilo to be a lil puppeteer#and the rest is history#i didnt expect to be rambling abt Grunpilo in the tags but here i am lmao#Also i specifically mentioned the Mykyie redesign bc I barely knew anything abt Mikey when I first got into friendlocke#and my dumbass ended up making his first gijinka design WHITE!!!1! BIGGEST FUMBLE OF MY LIFE IM SO SO SO SOO SORRY MIKEY MY FELLOW FILIPINO#technically im white but a large part of my family is filipino so its even more embarrassing for me to do that AUGH! Im so ashamed of mysel#so yeah that's basically all I gotta say abt the subject. Ty for asking!#rui replies#friendlocke#friendlocke violet#violet gijinka AU#sugarlime83
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
I can't believe the Undertale Sans AU fandom is still alive and well in 2023
#fires posts#ramblings#context I started following the UT tag recently bc I still love it but there's now SO MUCH au s/ans stuff on my tags page#and I'm lowkey stunned it's still going#I don't really get it which is lowkey a bit hypocritical coming from someone deep into Linkverse lmao#but at least most Linkverse stuff tends to be adding to pre-existing characters#w the s/ans stuff it's like... not even UT in general AUs. It's just 1000 different OCs using the same guy as a base design#Somehow when once/ler fans did this it made more sense bc they had no one to ship him with (woe)#but there are?? so many characters in UT right there??#im sorry this is such a ramble but also I have simply never understood this phenomenon lol
11 notes
·
View notes
Text
i just wrote lik e 700 words of a fic concept in less than ten minute lord help me it is incomprehensible but the imagery is so vivid in my head and i will never do it justice. my plans are a mess and its just rambling and i have this desire to share it so.
pov character is clown (i have no idea what server this would be set in. theres some implications that its ksmp but honestly it can go any way you want because my brain is a blackhole and i just absorb everything into one big disastrous blob) and im doing screenshots under a read more for MY sanity.
cw for gore, injury, death (i promise nobody important dies), all those good things. anyways enjoy a look into what my brain has been like for the past week and a half
first screenshot is the title i gave it, second is the prompt, third is the continuation of the second / the actual concept
AMBIGUOUS ENDIGN SORRY i probably wouldnt even keep that little dialogue chunk if i did write it. its just there so i know the pov because i literally did not use clown's name a single time through that entire disaster. like i implied it with the scythe and branzy's presence but. yeah. ALSO this is missing the fact that the sky is supposed to be blood red because. rapture. or something like that. i honestly have no idea and the only thought in my skull is the MyHouse.WAD video i just finished watching and this fucking song
#haunted ecosystem#haunted bookshelf#im not tagging this with anything officially#but i know how tumblr's search feature is. so. yeah#this concept actually made me feel nauseous when i thought about it so honestly take my frantic ramblings as my attempt to make sense of it#because like. this is going to eat away at my brain.#i need to finish planning that other fic. its calling to me. im waiting until i get to the vivisection prompt#ALSO this was written for a goretober prompt list (i cannot remember which one i am Sorry i just have one saved in my wiritng vault)#it's a wonder i spelled anything right in this because i wasnt looking at my screen i was just eyes locked on my keyboard so i#didnt lose focus on the concept by focusing on the words. so. its a mess. please tell me if anybody would actually read this.#Spotify
6 notes
·
View notes
Note
I'm debating on making one of my Omori AUs into a fanfic at long last, but idk if I'll have the motivation to finish it, but I still want to get it out there? Any thoughts and advice you might have?
- Repressed!AU Anon
Ahh, I'm a fairly bad person to go to for advice on fics specifically because of the fact I tend to immediately drop it and delete it ^^'
But!!!! I will say that there is a small method I believe could work since I've been testing it out for a little, and it's been doing okay for me! That is, try to write only one chapter.
It doesn't have to have an ending, nor does it have to be the longest one chapter fic in existence. Just one chapter with the basic gist of the concept you want to work on. After that, if you want you can post it up on any writing website and mark is as complete and see how well it goes with readers, or! You can continue to privately write and not post it until you believe you've reached the end of the fic and then post it up online.
I use the former, and it works better for me than it does the latter. I'll often leave it up and then wait for readers to check it out and see how their reaction to it fairs-- often times, it gives me opportunity to see if they like it and figure out what exactly it is that caught their attention and expand on that. While I do believe this could work better with oneshot series, it's still the better option if you're as impatient as I am when it comes to writing stories (as well as being able to give you a confidence boost and motivation at the same time!)
On the other hand, I have seen some people (I do believe even an anon has popped in saying this) that will write the whole fic down first and then later on upload it, either all of chapters in one go or scheduling when to update them. If you're a patient enough person to write everything down, then you should take this approach, especially if it's supposed to be an AU or original scenario for post-endings that you want to do that have no base to work off on. Though it really depends on how focused and dedicated you are to the fic to be able to finish it all (especially knowing some people have a hard time getting motivated in the middle of it and can put it off for months at a time!).
Of course, this is just entirely based off of my own experiences throughout the years I've been a small fic writer! While most of my fics I have deleted (mostly out of sheer embarrassment lol), I do think that there really is no one way to go about writing a story, and sometimes writing on the go, while the most likely to be left unfinished, is often the best way to go! Considering you can get a lot of feedback from readers, and it is often how writers are able to go far with their stories because of it!
#sorry if nothing made sense i am not very smart in giving advice or anything since i feel like#most of the time im just rambling random nonsense#i only offer things that i know have worked for me so far based on experience and not on “what is correct and incorrect”#ofc im a very absentminded person who dissociates a lot so a lot of my own methods are based on focusing what others like#since i tend to value other peoples opinions its usually my way of staying grounded and focused on the story im writing#ofc this may not work for you since not everyone has the same difficulty on gaining motivation and focus!!!!#anon asks#repressed au anon#miko talks
6 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
pedrodapremont
Info Lowongan Kerja Lampung
chitrakam
Chitraka
the-fuboo
Fuboo's little rat hole
doublemonk
DOUBLE MONK