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ssreeder · 2 months

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I started reading this like 4 days ago, time has blurred together. I have not slept over 5 and a half hours of sleep in that time, I had to get up at 6 for something and was going 'just one more chapter' several times until it was 2am. The only thing that I can think about is LIAB, I am quickly losing my sanity to Zukka and the prison camp. I came here for a fun time, a good time and the sheer amount of angst that I had heard this had. And, I was certainly not lied to.

I am the type of person to read hard core angst. Impaling, torture , doesn't even phase me anymore (bit concerning but ignore that), I have taken to the blank word document to get that sinking, queasy feeling when the angst gets really hard core. First few chapters of this had me captivated and then Zuko came into it, *Chefs kiss*

I can't read long fics because I don't have the attention span, but for this I make an exception, also if you read it all in like 4 days the attention span doesn't have time to run out! I am on the 3 part, chapter 2 and I actively plan to binge read it tonight. Do I have school in the morning? Yes. Am I still going to stay up until 1 in the morning reading this and make up for my lack of sleep with caffeine? Also yes.

I really hope that Jet dies in this, I hope that he has a really anti-climatic death as well, like he falls off a slightly too high ledge. NO ONE and I mean NO ONE gets to separate MY GAYS LIKE THAT BECAUSE HE JUST HAD TO TELL FONG THAT ZUKO WAS AT THE BLOODY CAMP!

and the Forest Lesbians, may they live forever in the local folk lore about two witches that lived the forest and used the power of being gay to cure people.

thank you for writing this, it has really made me happy reading this even though my favourite gays are getting traumatised (more traumatised than usual for Zuko). I have only been reading this, my friends are concerned about me since I don't think I have willingly left the house in... *looks down at fingers, realises I don't have enough fingers to count this* umm... too long!

*holds your hands* how are you doing friend??

your ask had me both nervous and excited haha & the greatest thing about responding to this a few days late is that you’ve probably finished it by now haha. I feel sorry for your sleep schedule but I also don’t feel bad haha <3

I’m glad LIAB met your expectations in the angst, it’s probably one of the more angsty/ darker zukka fics & it’s probably going to get worse lol. (Not for zukka specifically, everyone gets to join this time) But you’ll see… if I can hold your attention until the end haha.

as for your Jet thoughts I’m sure you found out what happened to him by now ;) <3

thanks for this amazing ask seriously you’re great & you deserve to get yourself a treat for taking the time to send me this haha YOURE AWESOMEEEEEE

#I always get nervous when I get long asks #I think I have negative comment PTSD or something haha #I’ll get an ao3 comment or tumblr ask and I get all nervous like OH NO THEYRE GOING TO CRITICIZE MEEEEEEEE #& then it’s really nice and I feel SILLY #anyway yeahhhh I’m sure LIAB is one of the more darker zukka fics lol #I say that casually but also warn the shit out of people in the tags #I don’t want anyone to ever get triggered #Because I do think people sometimes don’t take tags seriously #But I’m glad you liked it so much you got all the way to the third book #You’re seriously amazing for reading all thay #I wrote all of it and I don’t even wanna read it all haha #I had to go searching for something the other day and I had to like suit up to dive into all that and find my fact #I’m very serious about connecting facts haha #I may have foreshadowed something in chapter 2 book 1 that I’m holding onto for chapter 20 book 3 haha #I’m crazy sorry haha #Anywayyyy I’m curious if you did catch up #I’ve got another 20k chapter almost done lol #Well anyway THANKS FOR THE ASKKKK #LIAB #RIA #ITF #ask

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no-1-rosalind-lang-apologist · 7 months

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Guess what I found on the internet today

#I don’t think this needs to go on the flf tag but yes it was flf #if you are seeing this I’m so so sorry you do not want to know #fanfiction about real people is. A Choice.#that was just something else entirely #I don’t know why I read that I felt obligated to though #I would never want to make fun of someone for something that they put a lot of effort into and I’m not trying to do that #however I also saw that at around 5:30 am and I did not sleep last night #also the amount of psychic damage that has caused me is truly unparalleled #I have so many questions and I want absolutely none of them answered #it wasn’t even smut or close to smut it was just a whole experience #I am absolutely terrified that the person who wrote that is going to find this somehow #if they do. hi.#how are you. I’m going to think about you for the rest of my life #not good thoughts not bad thoughts I just have a lot of questions but please don’t answer any of them #4555 words split into 3 chapters published in may 2023 #I think I texted my friend a whole book of me losing my mind after I saw it on ao3 and they haven’t responded yet 💀#welp #please send help i genuinely have no idea what to do with my life now #i feel like i have seen everything

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childoferebus · 11 months

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one of these days I’m going to drop all pretenses of being a normal and functional adult human being and start talking about music on here constantly and then what will you all do

#make more playlists probably #I wrote at least three major papers on music in school lol #'were you a music major cas' no I'm a business major #but that did not stop me from dedicating months of my life and a significant amount of pages towards deconstructing microgenres #Shit's absolutely fascinating #I bought whole books on the subject #my tags are longer than the post now which I think is funny #like having thoughts in my head that you all can also experience if my main post wasn't significant enough #anyway I listen to an unhealthy amount of music and talk about it endlessly as my friends can confirm #sorry everyone who has to spend any time at all in my car with me or on walks

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wistfulstarling · 1 month

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Devils Night By Penelope Douglas

My thoughts on the devils night series

Trigger warnings: All tws from DN series, sa mention, grooming mention, this is not a positive post. Note: Credits to @pro-logue-epi-logue for giving me the motivation to write this (girl I was about to write a whole essay in your comments) this is the first and last time I talk about this series because I swear it gives me a headache. Also, i think there might be too many heart emotes here (╥‸╥)

So, i read the DN series a while back (all the damon-winter content had me hooked and they, at least, did not disappiont but more on that later). This series was not what i expected for one, and for two i literally did not expect it to be a series at all. My opinion is probably biased based on my liked and disliked characters, if you disagree, scroll.

I'm dividing this into two different sections, the books and the characters because as a writer myself, (and someone who has analyze and review books thoroughly as her 2024 goal) i think the two deserve to be viewed separately as much as they do together. This is by no means meant to hate PD this is again just my personal thoughts on the series.

Also, I read this series some time ago, so my memory isn't very fresh. Feel free to correct me (gently).

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ THE BOOKS ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

ღ Corrupt [Erika Fane and Micheal Crist]

‪‪❤︎‬‪‪❤︎‬‪‪❤︎‬⁠♡♡

Three stars for the first book in the series. Why? Well, to be honest, it was boring.

I think, while the book was boring, it held potential. Everything was setup nicely, and I feel like everything went just downhill from here.

Rika, at least in this book, was an okay character to me. She was a lost girl (understandably so), she wanted to live a little, get into trouble (like every highschooler in a piece of media not written by a highschooler). Even her obsession with Micheal was understandable. The plot was nice, it was mysterious, kept me hooked and didn't bore me (too much). The pace was a bit slow for my taste but by the end of the book i knew why it was slow and i enjoyed it.

The writing left a bit to be desired, but i think that that's just a me problem. I like a very certain kind of writing style which involvles a lot of deep thought from the characters and a lot of internal monologues (this style gets executed flawlessly by Trisha Wolfe, in my opinion) but I understand that characters from devil's night (at least Rika and Micheal) aren't people who'd have that kind of thought process.

Overall the book set a pretty good stage for the rest of the story to unfold. Rika felt relatable, Micheal was okay (a little dumb but he's not the brains of the group) unless of course we mention the grooming but we'll do that at a later time.

My only complain was that, in the begining the book felt very confusing but again, that might've just been me. I loved the aesthetic the story was promising and the atmosphere built by the story telling was mesmerising and immersive.

ღ Hideaway (Kai Mori and MOTHER Nikova Banks)

❤︎‬‪‪❤︎‬‪‪❤︎‬⁠♡♡

Banks carried the book on her back, I said what I said and I will not be taking it back.

Anyway, so three for this book too because this book had potential but it was ruined by PD's favoritism for Erika. Listen, I understand self insert characters and even I have some in my stories and I love them more than life itself but I don't think Penelope accomplished what she wanted by shoving Rika down everone's throats.

The writing and pacing was all over the place. Rika was in scenes that had nothing to do with her and overall i think PD jumped too fast to some scenes and took way too long for some others.

The book would've been so much better if PD's editors or beta readers would've helped with the pacing. As an author myself, i understand how hard it is to not include your favriote baes in everything but that's why we have editors. So, this one I'm not holding onto to PD enitrely. (Despite the injustice Banks was done.)

ღ Kill-Switch (Damon Torrance and Winter Ashby)

❤︎‬‪‪❤︎‬‪‪❤︎‬⁠♡♡

Boring ahh, virtually no plot whatsoever, my girl winter was done so dirty and overshadowed by Erika and Damon throught the entire of the book. #SoftWomenCanBeJustAsBadassAsTheCunningOnes.

This, ugh, I can't figure out if i want to put this in the books or characters. But god help me, the idea of feminism is flawed asf with this book is not great. Now, I don't know whether that idea came from PD or the fandom, but characters like Winter and Emory are constantly overshadowed by either 1. The men in their lives or 2. The other "badass" female characters (Alex and Rika, I'm so pissed because I wish I could add Banks here but my girl barely gets any screentime)

Overall, it was just Damon and Winter's love story before getting into the finally book. Not too much to say about it. I already said what I had to about the actual main character being overshadowed by Rika who, surprise, is not supposed to be the FMC of this particular book.

ღ Nightfall (Will Grayson and Emory Scott)

Warning: My opinion is going to be biased asf here because I'm someone who suffered physical abuse as a child.

❤︎‬‪‪❤︎‬‪‪♡♡♡

One star because in this book there was only 1 star, that was the star of the show, Emmy.

I'm kidding. Two stars because, yeah. This book held a lot of potential but I think either PD just doesn't work well with series or she was rushed to do this because all the potentiometer went into a fiery drain.

Actually most of everything was okay. PD could've solved the plot very easily by making Will's plan succeed but the moment Alex popped out of her little hiding spot, I cringed. So hard. (Cue me trying to keep my emotions in check while writing this)

This wasn't Alex's book and she shouldn't have been there. And I felt so SO bad for Emory throughout the entire book. I liked past Will but present Will irked me to no extent. It's like PD saw the vision of the character arc of "sunshine gone dark" but she kind of missed.

As someone who suffered emotional and physical abuse, this book was slightly triggering (grrh, Alex) but overall two stars.

One for not messing up Emmy's character and two for building good character relationships with Emmy and her two sidekicks in the story. (I forgot their name I'm sorry, Rory and Micah? Or something similar?)

The plot, the pacing, the resolving. Everything left me wanting more. It just wasn't right.

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ THE CHARACTERS ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

Going to try and summarise my thoughts on them with as little words as possible so I don't ramble

ღ Erika (3/5)

She was understandable at first, she could've been a great example of someone who's kind, empathetic but still can be strict when necessary but the writing of the books failed her. I can understand why she turned the way she did at the end of her arc (Micheal literally groomed her and felt insecure when he couldn't control her anymore) but I think she's a strong character despite being annoying most of the time. I like that she looked out for the girls (a little bit, before the writing failed her and she turned into a pseudo feminist pick me who thrives from male validation) Deserves to break away from Michael's grooming and become her own person.

ღ Micheal (3/5)

Boring, boring, boring. Groomer. His personality got more drained the more the books went on. Manchild.

ღ Banks (5.5/5)

One of the only two people with brains. Literal the strongest character in the series. Can't relate to her but I wish I could. She survived so much. Kai doesn't deserve her. Someone needs to make her happy, like actually. She deserved so much better than what she got.

ღ Kai (4/5)

Boring but not as boring as Micheal. Has a personality, ig. Has (some) braincells. (Thank God the asain genes didn't fail) He should've listened to what Banks went through. Does not behave like a very healthy partner from what we've read.

ღ Winter (5/5)

My baby. She deserved so much better. Underrated opinion, she's actually so strong. Takes everything life throws at her with a smile. The sweetest badass ever. I will defend her with my life.

ღ Damon (5/5)

My baby (derogatory). I'll protect him with my life but I'll punch him first. Actually probably the only guy with actual brain and the only one who wouldn't cheat on his wife, given the absolute chance (imo). Manchild (affectionate). I love to hate him and hate to love him. Call me Winter cuz I'm blind to his red flags.

ღ Emory (She's so amazing she broke my scale and I swear I can treat her better than Will)

Screaming, crying, throwing Alex against a WALL for what she did to my baby. She's so me. I understand her. She deserved better than Will but I'm glad she gets to be happy at least.

ღ Will (3/5)

He treated Emory horribly but past Will was the cutest sunshine ever. He deserved better. Manchild (derogatory). Idiot (derogatory). I'll fight him (affectionate).

[Not going to give it for Alex or Aydin becuz they're not main characters but Alex gets negative seventeen out of five because she's a bitch (no, not a bad bitch. Just a pick me bitch who told a recovering alcoholic she preferred him drunk) <33]

#I'm actually scared to tag this #what if the fandom comes after me 😭#fuck it we ball.#readingrn #Yashi reviews a book #ALSO I'M SO SORRY IF THERE ARE GRAMMAR OR SPELLING MISTAKES ENGLISH ISN'T MY FIRST LANGUAGE AND I WROTE THIS IS RECORD TIMING

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countess-of-edessa · 17 days

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hey did you guys know. if you want. a way to make catholic guys less happy overall is to say "aragon" instead of "aragorn". this will make them upset and unhappy

#him: aragorn. with an r.#me: that's what i said #him: (breathing in) no. but fine. it's just...anyway go on #me: and the point of it is—#him: ar a gorn.#there are two rs.#aragorn.#And this wasn't even me being cute. The first time i typed these text posts i wrote aragon in the tags again #Sorry i think about real thinks like the birthplace of Henry VIII's best wife and not a guy from a book who is not real

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americanrecord · 1 month

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hey Kelsey!! I’m just catching up on the Californian motel series that u sent over and I’m currently reading the chapter “feel the void”

wow. what a heavy chapter,, i read the words ‘call izzy’ and SOBBED this is the last thing i was expecting but as always your writing is so beautiful and so respectful - hope your okay and cannot wait for when you release your book!

#submission #replying in tags because it’s a submission but —#that was such a terrible chapter to write lol! i scrolled through it briefly and i remember sitting in the kitchen of my college apartment #& i had the place to myself for the weekend so i cranked out this and the chapter before it #and i remember specifically with feel the void - i was like sweating while writing it #it was very intense! even for me! because it was a scene i would’ve been envisioning for like 3 years at that point #and the book was so drastically different from what i envisioned when i developed this plot (which was actually before i even wrote RQ) but #the scene was still something like what i’d always pictured even if it was so dark and nauseating #i did try my best to be careful and respectful and not graphic however!! i always felt like letting implications do the heavy lifting for #this sort of stuff was always the way to go #so glad you’re enjoying it & apologies in advance for the misery fest of king nothing #sorry that i left it on such a terrible note #i sometimes wish i could go back to it but i don’t think i could do it on good conscious anymore #or bc of how my writing has developed #also i’m doing well!! just busy and trying to push suicide blonde into something publishable <3 #thanks for your support !! 🩶#✉︎ — confessions.#save

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abibaboo · 11 months

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9 people you want to know better <3

thank you for tagging me @calla-lilly ♡ ♡ ♡

there is so many people i would like to know better & i think a lot of people have already done it, so @ anyone that sees this that would like to ˙ᵕ˙

last song: swan upon leda - hozier :’)

currently watching: not really watching anything atm, but i am thinking about maybe catching up with love island (pls lmk if it is good if anyone is watching it <3)

currently reading: have been on+off reading tomie - junji ito for a whileeee. also have recently binge-read twc 1-3 again (a, n, & m routes if anyone wanted to know - f you’re up next xo)

current obsession(s): twc, infamous - i cannot stop thinking about it im so excited for ch2, any drawing by @phanosis i spent ages just staring at how beautiful all their art is, & @beesandfigsblog art style. it is literally so pretty i <3 staring at it - ik @starcrossedtheshow is going to be so good!!

#sorry i’m so late i’m bad at tumblr #i have been in a reading slump with all my physical books but i have binge read any if i can get my hands on #also idk why i wrote so much i was only supposed to put one obsession 💀#my bad <3 #tagged

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naquey · 4 months

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the... the world isn't ready for some visceral knowledge. the... the world isn't ready... not ready to hear THAT ALL OF YOUR FAVORITE CHARACTERS ARE OCS SO ITS PRACTICALLY HARMLESS TO MAKE AN OC TO SHIP WITH THEM OR AN X READER FIC

#quite literally every character in the span of creation is legit an oc from whomever the creator is #rick riordan #jk rowling #george lucas #stan lee #kazutaka kodaka #every single character you know and love #was a lovingly handcrafted oc created for entertainment purposes or to exist in a world of the authors creation #im sorry i was thinking ab a convo i had with someone irl who was talking ab fanfic #and like i dont ship characters together in media #i just never grew up shipping characters from the same source together #or characters from the creator together #and i wrote x readers or have story ideas with ocs of mine #and their response was “why not just write a book?”#like excuse me? no i will not “just write a book” heavily based off of a fictional world I love because if im writing a book im coming up #with an original idea #excuse all these unhinged tags #i've found i enjoy when people talk in the tags cuz its like lil notes to accompany the main idea

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bsaka7 · 5 months

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arsenal has a long history of losing to the most bumfuck clubs of all time

#1947-48 we win the league and get knocked out of the fa cup by BRADFORD PARK AVENUE #who are now in the 7th tier #footie.txt #sorry if this is cursing us i'm doing wikipedia as ALWAYS #'ok tetra what did u do while unemployed' 'oh i just worked on the arsenal season pages from 1930 to 1991'#actually i only did 1930 fa cup and then i've done 1939-1947 #and then i've done work on 1966-91 but i haven't done the 1970 double season yet bc it requires a different kind of work #and the book i use as a base source has annoying organiztation sometimes so i got annoyed and then was like ok i'm doing the 40s.#which is actually super interesting like the ww2 fl stuff i don't even like war history generally #but this guy matthew taylor wrote a book on sport and morale during ww2 #using mass observation movement stuff which i always find kind of interesting #i couldn't find the book unforch only some articles and his OTHER book #arsenal BROKE AWAY from the fl. well they did that and then they got kicked out. the london combonation was kinda going crazy.#but then they got let back in like 1yr later by saying sorry #OK SORRY WHY AM I WRITING THIS IN THE tags. hi guys

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andiwriteordie · 1 year

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Okay I absolutely want to take turns and play a little ts st game so.. tag you're it.

(I am also obsessed with you, if that wasn't obvious)

THIS IS MY NEW FAVORITE GAME YAY YAY YAY

i'm gonna go with one of my most favorite taylor swift songs (legit this has been in my top 3 songs on spotify since 2019 or 2020 lol): the archer. i constantly go back and forth between whether it feels more mike or will to me because it just... it feels so much like both of them.

(prepare yourself for a loooooooong analysis. bold = mike; italics = will; both)

Combat, I'm ready for combat

I say I don't want that, but what if I do?

Alright, breaking this down section by section, be prepared for a long post, my friend. I think about Mike so much with this lyric, simply because Mike has a more combative nature than Will does. He’s hot-headed, brash, and easily angered, and we see him escalate a lot of situations (not even just with Will) because of that. But it’s so interesting, because while Mike’s nature is to be more combative and feisty, I feel like this also then contradicts other parts of Mike’s personality. Mike wants to be needed. Mike wants to be loved. His biggest fear is losing people that he cares about. He fears being abandoned by the ones he loves so much. So, these two lines to me just capture that internal battle, especially in the context of Byler, where Mike jumps to these argumentative, harsh words with Will (see rain fight, see Rink-O-Mania fight), and yet, he doesn’t want that. We know he wants things to be normal with him and Will again, but he’s using his combative, argumentative mask to hide those true feelings.

'Cause cruelty wins in the movies

I've got a hundred thrown-out speeches I almost said to you

Cruelty wins in the movies. Ouch. This just reminds me of how Mike is trying to put on a facade. He is trying to emulate what a traditional, masculine kind of guy is supposed to look like. Guys aren’t supposed to be sensitive. They’re not supposed to care as much, and they’re certainly not supposed to care about other guys that much, right? Mike wants to be like the men he sees on the screens and that he sees in real life too (see - how he tries to follow Lucas’s example of traditional masculinity). But then, we see again, this other side to Mike. Lettergate theory truthers rise up. Mike has so much he actually wants to say to Will. Words he’s too afraid to say out loud and that are lost on pages he’ll never send or hidden in the back of his mind, where nobody gets to see them. But he wants to say them. He really really does.

Easy they come, easy they go

I jump from the train, I ride off alone

I think I’m gonna talk about Mike’s side of the chorus first, then I’ll talk about Will’s side when the chorus comes back around. God, “easy they come, easy they go” KILLS ME. I just have the images of Mike standing outside of Will’s home as Will (and El) are driven away from him in both the S2 finale (when they’re going to save Will from the Mind Flayer and when El is going to close the gate) and when Will and El’s family move from Hawkins. People keep leaving Mike, and that’s his biggest fear. It’s not just Will and El either; it’s all of his friends. We see these fears spilling out when he’s angry at Lucas in S4 for the basketball thing.

I never grew up, it's getting so old

Help me hold onto you

This line is so freaking ironic to me, because Mike is just the opposite of that, right? He forces himself to try and grow up. He tries to push his childhood away in S3, and in doing so, he hurts Will and the rest of his friends too. He’s trying so hard to ignore all these confusing feelings and repress them, but in the end, it just hurts Mike more too. He feels like he has to grow up, but he doesn’t actually want to. That’s getting old, and Mike just wants to go back to when things were okay—back when he could still be close to Will, could hold on tight to Will, could do things that weren’t looked down on because they had the innocence of youth to hide behind. And so, I read these lyrics as almost like… Mike’s inner child quietly asking if he can go back to that, begging to return to how things used to be?

I've been the archer

I've been the prey

Who could ever leave me, darling?

But who could stay?

Again, going back to the theme of Mike’s fear of loss and abandonment. “I’ve been the archer” - Mike has hurt people with his harshness and the words he’s said. He’s hurt Will before. But God, don’t other people realize how much Mike has been hurt too? “Why am I the bad guy?” Mike literally asks Will, because God, doesn’t Will get that he’s hurt Mike too? That Will didn’t reach out and didn’t answer his calls? That Mike feels like he keeps getting left behind, that everyone else is moving on and moving forward, when he just feels stuck? When he keeps losing the people (the person) who means the most to him?

Dark side, I search for your dark side

But what if I'm alright, right, right, right here?

Alright, moving on to some Will lyrics now! I can interpret this a couple different ways… But when I think about these lines, I just imagine Will in the aftermath of S3 and before S4, hurting and thinking about Mike. Because Mike has been his best friend for years now, and Mike did hurt him. Mike said harsh words and cruel things to Will, and maybe there’s a part of Will that is angry and hurt. That wants to leave their friendship behind, because Mike did it first, right? For what was probably the first time, Mike showed Will his “dark side” which is so shocking to Will, who has only ever been able to see Mike’s light and his love.

But that’s the thing that Will gets to learn about love and friendship—that you don’t just sign up to love the goodness someone has. You sign up for the good, the bad, and the ugly. And yeah, he’s seen the bad parts of Mike, but he’s also seen so much good. The bad does not discount all the years of love and friendship he and Mike have shared with each other, and Will wants to return to that friendship. He misses Mike. He’s not planning on leaving anytime soon.

And I cut off my nose just to spite my face

Then I hate my reflection for years and years

Okay I couldn’t decide who I wanted to analyze this set of lyrics more for, so I decided to do both. God, I love these lines so much, because when you think about that phrase “I cut off my nose just to spite my face” and its meaning that, “Hey, I’m going to do something that’ll hurt somebody else, but surprise? It hurt me just as much too,” I just think it’s so Byler. I don’t think either of them intentionally try to hurt each other, but when they do hurt each other, they end up hurting themselves just as much.

So, with both of them, I think about that time between S3 and S4. How neither of them really reached out all that much. How many they didn’t quite know how to be around each other anymore. How a little bit of resentment built up in their hearts, even if they didn’t want it to. How there were probably moments when Mike called Will and got no response, so he decided to be a little stubborn and not try again—until it just hurt too much not to try and reach out. How there were probably moments when Will saw letters coming in from Mike to El and how he thought about his own letters to Mike that he stubbornly decided not to send, because Mike couldn’t reach out first. How both of them wanted to reach out, but how both of them were hurt that the other wasn’t initiating. God. They’re so stupid, and I love them!

I wake in the night, I pace like a ghost

The room is on fire, invisible smoke

And all of my heroes die all alone

WILL WILL WILL WILL WILL. Literally this section of lyrics is so Will coded, like? I can’t. I love this song so much, Abby. I love that it’s a discussion of anxiety/mental health issues and how that then affects the way we love people. Because now, with Will’s perspective, I just… I think about how much Will has gone through. How he’s suffered from PTSD and probably still struggles with nightmares, even years after his kidnapping and possession. How when we see him in S4, he’s still trying to hold onto his past and his friendship with Mike, because of how much stability and comfort Mike once brought him.

Rewinding a little bit because if I’m gonna talk about Will’s mental health, I’m gonna talk about S2 because I love S2 with my whole heart? Literally all of this just reminds me of Will’s struggle with adjusting after S1 and then how he was targeted by the Mind Flayer in S2. He knows he isn’t the same, and everyone keeps reminding him of that. “The room is on fire, invisible smoke” - just reminds me of Will seeing the Mind Flayer and feeling his presence, but being told by Owens that it’s probably just all in his head. “Invisible smoke” like he made it up… all in his mind. Not to mention, “All of my heroes die all alone” excuse me. Bob. Dying because of something that’s indirectly Will’s fault? Ouch.

Help me hold onto you

Look, this little line gets its own paragraph because I’m not done talking about S2/S4 parallels yet. Again, thinking about how in S2 Will was struggling so much with adjusting and with being stalked, and who was there for him? Mike. Mike was this steady, constant presence, and he was the one person who didn’t treat Will with kids gloves or like he was broken or different for what had happened. He gave Will the courage to keep fighting! So, now in S4, especially at the end, we just see that struggle of Will knowing his and Mike’s friendship isn’t what it used to be, but God, he’s back in Hawkins, and he can feel Vecna’s presence again, and when will this end? Is Will going to be alone in this, this time around? God, he hopes not, and maybe that’s part of why he’s trying so hard to stay close to Mike too. Mike is his best friend, but Mike is also the one who most helps Will keep fighting. And sure, Will “ripped the bandaid” off, but then sitting on the couch next to Mike and quietly telling him these things—that One is back, that he’s not going to stop, that they have to kill him? It all just reminds me of this simple, simple lyric, and how Will is trying to return to that S2 dynamic. “Help me hold onto you,” is what he feels, even though he knows he shouldn’t.

I've been the archer,

I've been the prey

Screaming, who could ever leave me, darling?

But who could stay?

I mean, come on. “I’ve been the archer” in the sense that Will has done things he regrets. He was used by the Mind Flayer/by One to hurt and to kill people. But then, at the same time, “I’ve been the prey” because Will was One’s first target. He was abused and had his autonomy and control ripped away from him. One used Will to then perpetuate more destruction and harm. And that’s terrifying to Will, especially knowing he can still feel One and still is connected to him. But then, it’s just so beautiful to me, because in all of that, who stays with Will? Mike does. And Will knows it. Through the worst parts of his life, Mike stayed. The year before that, Mike moved heaven and hell to try and find Will. So, now, as they’re moving into S5 and into the fight of their lives, it’s just that question of… will Mike stay with him this time? Can they go back to the people they were and the relationship they had?

(I see right through me, I see right through me)

'Cause they see right through me

They see right through me

They see right through

Can you see right through me?

They see right through

They see right through me

I see right through me

Obviously, a lot of repeated lyrics here, but I just like thinking about how both Mike and Will are hiding parts of themselves—their sexualities and their feelings for each other. For two people who have built a friendship on the idea that “friends don’t lie,” it’s heartbreaking that they now find themselves in a place where they have to keep secrets from each other. And I just imagine, as they stumble close to crossing that line, as the walls fall down ever so slightly, if they’re wondering if people can see through their lies. Surely, somebody sees through their lies—Jonathan did with Will’s van monologue. And Mike’s fear is someone seeing through his lie in the monologue he gave to El. Because they both are well aware that they lied in these moments; they can see through their own lies and I’m sure they regret it. So, is it only a matter of time before somebody else sees through the lie too?

All the king's horses, all the king's men

Couldn't put me together again

S2 Will right here. I think about Will, feeling lost and feeling different and feeling broken, after his experiences in the Upside Down. He’s always felt like a freak, but now, he can’t run away from it. And it’s getting worse. The doctors are trying, and he knows it. Owens is a nice enough man. But nothing is helping. Maybe Will can’t be fixed. Maybe he’ll always be different and always be the freak, and there’s no running away from that. And it sucks… but even in spite of all of that, he still has Mike. His best friend. And Mike’s not going anywhere.

'Cause all of my enemies started out friends

Ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch, whatever you do don’t think about both Mike and Will feeling like the other one hates them now or is disgusted by them in the aftermath of their S3 fight. Nope, no, don’t do that. Mike feels so guilty; he’s hurt Will and said things that he regrets. And now Will isn’t reaching out to him. Will already feels different because of his sexuality and feelings for Mike, and now, he feels like Mike must know and must look at him differently. They used to be best friends, but now, they can barely even call themselves friends.

[Help me hold onto you

I've been the archer

I've been the prey

Who could ever leave me, darling?

But who could stay?

(I see right through me, I see right through me)

Who could stay?

Who could stay?]

Lots of repeated lyrics, which I think I covered already. :)

You could stay

You

Combat, I'm ready for combat

And this… this right here. I love this. Because after all of this, after this song is a massive confession of anxiety and of the worst parts of yourself, after the vulnerability of asking the person you love to please stay, please don’t leave again, I interpret this as a bit of a hopeful ending. Who could stay? … You. You could stay. So with Byler, I view this as just that moment of understanding that I hope they’ll get in S5, where they realize in spite of everything that has happened, in spite of what they’ve said to each other and the mistakes they’ve made, in spite of the negative ways they view themselves… Mike is choosing to stay there for Will. And Will is choosing to stay there for Mike. They’re not planning on leaving each other’s sides. They will face whatever comes next together, as a team. Neither one of them is going anywhere. It’s Mike and Will, up against the world.

#andi's asks #byler #st x ts #byler swifties #abby i am so sorry for this #i wrote a whole small book #also i love this and i love you ok #ok bye now #andi and abby analyze #new tag!!!!

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