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jade-of-mourning · 3 months

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sorry sometimes i think about mako and my heart hurts so much. this kid raised himself and his brother on the streets in homelessness and utter poverty from eight through fifteen, promptly after seeing the violent death of his mother and father. he turned to the triple threats because they couldn't survive as a pair of wretched kids without any adult support, and the environment forced him to turn into the exact character that killed his parents in a terrible twist of irony. and after sheer-fucking-luck hits and they aren't homeless anymore, their livelihood wavers on the outcome of what's a literally game to everyone but them; and after things are finally starting to look up and their team is going places and things just might be okay, his gradually stabilizing world unceremoniously expands and everything goes to shit.

and the city that chewed him up and spat him back out, ruined him as a child and took away his ability to stay afloat in a true sense of normalcy as an adult — when it's on the verge of destruction and falling to pieces before his eyes, he gives himself to save it with the full expectation to die. he went from the kid who didn't and couldn't care about anything outside of himself and his brother, to finding redemption for his younger self in his police work despite its injustice against him, to willingly sacrificing himself to a world that had never loved him.

he's a desperate people pleaser, socially and emotionally stunted for the adult he had to be as a kid, unable to navigate interpersonal relationships easily yet still trying his damned hardest. he's intensely and entirely devoted to the things that matter to him and for so long it was only him, bolin, and ensuring their survival — yet by the end, that devotion has expanded to protecting the rest of the world. he starts out entirely self-reliant and ends in trusting the people he cares about to know their own needs, to be able to take care of themselves, to be okay without him despite having spent so much of his life defined by his role in others' well-being.

just. what the fuck i'm such a big fan of this fictional guy and i'm unashamed about it at this point. also let him cry please (if you won't i'll do it i'll let him cry)

#lychee's brain trash #mako lok #mako tlok #sorry for the shitpost i don't do a lot of those i realize #how tf did this guy not had a massive break down in canon at any point #nd like;; he never shows resentment for the unfairness of it all #he doesn't ever use his past to excuse any of his choices/actions that are influenced by it #which is pretty intrinsically linked to his relationship fumbles #he just quietly holds himself accountable and probably mildly despises himself haha #as much as i don't care for the love triangle it really does make complete sense in accordance to his backstory #anyway this is just a roundabout way of me expressing my salt at people writing him off as a malicious asshole lol #i literally cannot articulate the intense complex things his conjured up existence makes me feel #this does not even scratch the surface there is SO MUCH #i need to actually write the fifty fics that exist to my brain otherwise all these thoughts will never see the sun #trust that one day the avatar!mako au will emerge from my drafts;;;#and. you know. that one shot i've had in wip for the past 2.5 years #and the four other oneshots that will probably never be converted into actual words

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sapphire-weapon · 9 months

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Why do you think OG Leon has control issues?

because he always needs to be in charge in every situation he's in and gets anxious at best and fucking annoying at worst when he's not LMAO

Leon's so unwilling to give up control that he even barks orders at Chris fucking Redfield.

this is a man who asks several times over the course of RE2 "Why doesn't anyone ever listen to me?" without a single shred of self-awareness or irony, considering he is the least experienced, most bumbling idiot in that game, and that night would've probably gone a lot better for him if he'd have realized the reality of his place in the situation he was in and shut the fuck up and actually listened to somebody else for a change.

he's a man who actually says out loud for other people to hear: "Sorry, but following a lady's lead just isn't my style."

Leon is someone who, when faced with relinquishing control of a situation or going against orders and basically committing treason by continuing to intervene in the affairs of another nation against the wishes of the US government, went: "treason it is, then."

Leon "I refuse to admit that I don't always know what's best, and if we die because of it, then I guess we die" Kennedy

I don't mean to shitpost at you, but this is one of those things where it's like

if I were to actually go into this in any real detail, I'd just be typing out a majority of the script from every single title he's in.

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loracarol · 2 years

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The problem with a modern adaptation of Dracula is trying to figure out how to meet the vibes plot points while updating the reasoning behind it because Mina being left out of the original Dracula-hunt planning is actually plot relevant! It opens her up to being preyed upon without realizing that that's what's happening! So then how do you get those same #vibes in a modern adaptation?

I mean, sure, you still have it be sexism, but that sucks, and I don't want to.

I think, if I was in the position to do a modern AU, which I'm not, but if I was, I think I'd make Mina a grad school student or going towards her teaching degree (I'm sorry, I'm not sure how it works in England, and this is a shitpost so I'm not going to research it, my apologies!). She has a bunch of work that she's been getting extensions for because of the whole thing with Jonathon, and then Lucy dying, but she's at the point where she has to get her stuff done or else she'll be dropped from her courses (?). The others encourage her to keep going, and keep their going-ons to themselves to try and keep her from stressing out while trying to finish, IDK, her thesis (?). She's sitting there, trying to write her papers, and blames her weird dreams/tiredness on her studying, as does everyone else because she has a lot of work to catch up on.

Also, I'd make Lucy and Arthur get married on Lucy's deathbed to avoid the whole, "Mrs. Westerna left everything to Arthur" thing.

But then you still have the question of Seward, because if I remember correctly, the #vibes of Seward in the Victorian era were that was trying his best in a situation that they culturally didn't have any understanding of, even if nowadays we look at him and go, "oh shit you're terrible at this." On top of that, we don't really have asylums anymore, not the same way that the Victorian's did. The closest thing I can think of is like, a halfway house, but a lot of those - at least the ones I'm aware of - tend to be for people with problems with addiction and/or people who have been incarcerated, which could work, but then it becomes a question of what do we say about the original Renfield if those are the "best" options we have for a modern version? What does it say about people with addictions, or people while been through the carcarel system if we decide that's what Renfield should be. (I'm sorry if this isn't phrased the best, I've tried writing it multiple times and I'm Not Satisfied.)

I don't know, is this even something that can or should be translated to the modern era faithfully?

....I don't have an answer, or a point, I just was originally trying to think of how you could have the Mina-subplot while trying to ameliorate the sexism in the original, and then it got away from me. |D

#dracula daily #dracula #rambling

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bloodgulchblog · 2 years

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Okay, so, like. Nobody asked this. But.

If one (and by one I mean yours truly) were to approach building a Halo trpg, perhaps because that is how one (I) sometimes chooses to express one(my)self about the things about which they are unhinged, there are a couple of ways one (I) could go about it.

(Readmore because while I am capable in theory of being concise, I have had no desire to do so today.)

The first way is the trad rpg route where you get real simulationist about it and try to create a sandbox where you can model different kinds of weapons and vehicles and armor and training levels and which species is usually stronger than which species etc etc etc in a pretty wargamey fashion. I'm under the impression that this is pretty much what Mythic (an already existing project) does, and it's also not really my thing in rpgs. Building out that much stuff and trying to get it right is a lot of work, and someone who doesn't enjoy that kind of thing (me) is a bad fit to realize a vision like that.

Similarly, I don't think borrowing a system like d20 (character build focused, levels and classes and loot) really hits what I'd want. Halo stories aren't really about starting at the bottom of the power ladder and getting cooler and stronger. Generally, Halo stories are about professionals that are already pretty well-developed in terms of what they are and aren't good at.

There are generic systems that can handle that (like, you can run pretty damn near anything in Fate once you get your brain around the way Fate is shaped) and I have a huge collection of generic systems but also because they're generic they don't have strong thematic feels to them.

You can build that, sure. I could build that. But also, I could steal. Stealing is just as much if not more work as building on a generic frame, but it's different work and I think it's fun.

If I'm going to borrow something I think I'm looking in a more storygamer direction, and this is pretty unsurprising because that is also the kind of person I am. And to do that well, you have to know THE FEEL. The THEMES. The VIBE. That is your signpost to help you find what you need to steal.

So: I feel like the vibe of Halo stories, the most important one, is about being in awful, dangerous, stressful situations with people and trying to make it through. Yes, there are guns and shooting and narrow escapes and tense fights, but for those to matter there have to be some personal stakes alongside whether or not people survive. Physically surviving something is the bare minimum.

I need something that cares about the strain people take on as they go through awful shit together, because yes you can die but also you can be hurt in such a way you stop being able to work as part of a team (and then people, possibly you, die.)

Overcoming a bunch of stuff you have to shoot at is okay, but overcoming your emotional scars to hang tight with and care about people in order to get you all out alive? That's the interesting part.

So.

I don't know.

You kind of have to go in a somewhat dark direction with source games for this kind of thing, possibly horror but a lot of those dip a bit too far into the expectation that the party is going to wipe and that's the whole point.

Off the top of my head, maybe Blades in the Dark because of how it models stress? (But also I'd want to loosen how hard Blades kind of wants you to inevitably death spiral over time, or at least that's the impression I got from Blades idk.)

I was also shitposting about stealing The One Ring's core system and I think that would also be extremely funny and good if I did it, because the LotR-focused game is actually very about stress and despair and hope in difficult situations. It also has some light but still interesting tactical choices in gameplay that I've been liking?

Very speculative.

Anyway, I'll probably post a pdf of some kind one of these days. I am sorry in advance.

#i need a tag for my halo trpg thoughts because i think i've had more than one of them at this point #and it feels kind of inevitable #therefore #halo trpg thoughts

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erensnubs · 2 years

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PSA!!❗❗❗ BASICALLY WHATS GONNA HAPPEN TO THIS BLOG

A lot of you who follow me for a while and look through my random shitposts, know that I am indeed a highschooler. I post about random things, that don't gain tons of traction and mostly for me to vent my feelings and let my irl friends or moots know what's going on. A lot of these things are personal, some more than others, but I realize that tumblr is my safe space. Its a part of my identity as well as an escape, I don't have to hold up appearances here or be perfect, I simply write, interact with you guys and simp and fangirl with the besties about fictional characters. It's simple. I don't need to share my whole identity, like who I am, what my real name is and things like that.

Because of that ive been able to keep a happy environment on my blog, for me, my followers and moots, and anyone who interacts with my work. My tumblr blog and what i do here and what i do in real life are yes connected, but ultimately separate. The only people in real life that I allow to see these posts are people who I talk to in real life, that just so happen to have tumblr. So colleagues, peers, friends of friends, acquaintances, etc. Things that happen to me in real life, affect what happens to this blog and my writing, as such is life.

Which is why I made this post. It's come to my attention that an ex-friend/mutual of mine gave mine and one of my mutual's url to their significant other without my permission. I was fine with it at first even though i was slightly angry but i let it slide because it seemed like no one was doing anything with my blog. I thought it was safe. For extra measure i blocked both of these people so i didnt have to deal with them, and i didn't have to deal with their bs.

Recently i found out that this person was actually showing my mutual's blog and through their blog, my blog, to other people at my school. And even though i found out recently, its been happening for months. These people are bigots, and bigot apologists and could very well could get my friend hurt and in the process, me as well.

Because of this, I'm making the choice to move my blog. Soon. If you're my moot I will send you my new page. I might make an announcement later what my new url will be but for now it will be private.

If you want to know my url and you aren't a moot, send me a private message and i will for sure give it to you.

Again, thank you guys for everything. It's been a hard 6 months but i noticed that those 6 months, was where I started to improve in my writing and gained traction. I'm sorry this had to happen with my blog, but hopefully on my next one i can keep it under control.

ps: my next url is still gonna be about erens season 2 little arm stubbies if y'all need a clue 😏

Master list is here

#tina talks♪#important

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mugzymiik · 3 months

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MugzyMiik's Introduction Post

HII HII HELLOOO!!! I'M MUGS!!! OR OCTOBER!!! OR GOLD!!! OR CYANIDE!!! OR MIIK!!! OR DAKOTA!!! Feel free to call me literally anything at all though, as long as I'll be able to recognize it as me that you're referring to I don't mind at all :D

(Mugs and October are the names that are used the most for me, however; Dakota is only for IRLs and/or mutuals!!!)

I use any and all pronouns!!!

(Yeah, this includes neopronouns! If you don't support neopronouns and/or harass people for using/supporting them, get the fuck off my page right now. If you don't support us, I don't support you, asshat. <3)

Before You Interact:

I am a MINOR. I may make a FEW suggestive jokes here and there, but in the end, I AM ONLY 16. Keep that in mind if you are interacting with me and over 18.

I have autism, ADHD and anxiety. I also have a hard time reading tone in general, so tone tags would be very much appreciated when interacting with me!

I take a long while to fully process/realize things. Please keep that in mind and be patient. I also don't notice a lot of things until they've fully "went by", and this does include things I say that could potentially be taken as rude. Please do let me know if you take offense to anything I say!!! I likely don't mean it :[ /gen

I use all capital letters a lot!!! I'm a pretty easily-excited person in general, and when I'm pretty damn excited, I go all bananas, keyboard-smashing and all. So please don't think I'm "yelling" at you if I ever say something in all caps!!! I'm just horsing around, I promise!!!

I swear a lot. So if this bothers you, please tell me, and I'll make an honest attempt to refrain from swearing around you!

I'm very childish sometimes. If you don't like that, sorry, I guess? Block me and move on if you don't...?

Do NOT Interact If You:

Are racist, homophobic, transphobic, sexist, and/or are just a bigoted piece of shit in general (YES, as mentioned before, this Includes people who are against neopronouns. Fuck off.)

Are transrace/transabled/transage/transx/transid/whatever the hell you fuckers say you are. You're an embarrassment to humanity, stop fucking intruding on LGBTQ+ terms. You are not welcome here, and you never will be. :)

Support "proship", or whatever the term is, at all. I personally think it should actually be referred to as "proshit", but go off I guess :) Yes, this also goes alongside """MAP"""s entirely. Just use the actual term. You know what it is. Same as above: you are NOT welcome here. Ever.

Use and/or support the use of Al "art"– art can only be considered art if it was made with some kind of passion, which literally all humans on Earth have. An Al doesn't have passion. Al can't create art, it can only steal from those who do.

Engage in and/or support the use of cryptocurrency/NFTs

Are here to cause drama

Are supporters/friends of Cintagonisupset + Kerf

Even just associate with constant_hungr / hxngr / ravesrage / whatever the fuck he decides to call himself now or later on. Do NOT fucking try to even "pass on a message", I don't want to even fucking THINK of him.

Are just a shitty person overall

My Tags:

General Tags:

#mmmramblez - My rambling tag

#mugzy art - My art tag

#mugzy replies - My ask tag

#mugzy shitposts - Funy :3c

#mugzys drawing ideas - My tag for things I might wanna draw later (mostly cursed images)

#things mugs needs later - It's a surprise tool that will help us later! /j/ref

#MUG FRIENDOS - Me and the boyes (/gn) skittering to the kitchen to find some BEANS >:]

Fandom-Related Tags:

#Tsavorite hugs everybody - You're next. :] /j [PAUSED AS OF RIGHT NOW]

#shattered body but not spirit au - The tag for my Pink Corruption AU [WARNING FOR DEATH]

#pink corruption warriors au - The tag for a Pink Corruption AU I co-own with some friends!

#tpc leg day au - The tag for my Pink Corruption crack AU, where everything is the same, except monsters are just normal shapes with very long legs

#jsab disloyalty au - The tag for my Just Shapes & Beats AU

#tpc shorts but also not - The tag for a """series""" I'm doing; just random "skits" for The Pink Corruption that ideas for pop into my head from time to time

#ancestry life MORE LIKE- - My tag for an elemental-powered Warriors roleplay server I won't stfu about

#mugzys tpc designs - My "interpretation designs" for all the characters from The Pink Corruption >:]

Blogs I Run/Help Run:

@askgoldnco - Ask blog for Gold, Tsavorite, Cyanide, and many others from The Pink Corruption! [VERY HEADCANON-HEAVY; ALSO ON AN INDEFINITE HIATUS AS OF RIGHT NOW]

@pinkcorruption-verysillyedition - The Pink Corruption incorrect quotes blog! Submissions are (almost) always open!

@cats-turn-naturally-pink-somehow - The Pink Corruption x Warriors AU blog!

@shattered-body-but-not-spirit - The Pink Corruption AU blog where Tsavorite is killed by a very familiar corrupt upon the caretakers group reaching The Land of Spheres. Though... What's this? ...Wait– HE'S A GHOST?! [DEATH CW; NOT AT ALL DESCRIBED, THOUGH IT'S STILL A BIG THEME OF THE AU]

@angry-nacho-boy - Roleplay blog for Gold! [VERY HEADCANON-HEAVY]

@falseparadiseau - Ask blog for my OTHER Just Shapes & Beats AU, False Paradise! (One and Two should totally kiss btw /silly)

@the-false-hero-of-paradise - BUG BLOG!!! BUG BLOG!!! >:D

People On Here That Are Really Cool And You Should Absolutely Follow (If You Want)! :D:

@darkhatkid - Scares the shit out of me every time she swears /silly

@sleepless-tea - TEA!!! CYAN FOUND THE CORPSE /HEVJ/ij

@taxi-dummy - I stole their clown shoes joke :3c

@cowboytorrenter - We like bagel boys in this household /j/ij

@tasty-eggs - Big bald forehead

@the-road-kill - WON'T STOP HAVING ROMANTIC AFFAIRS WITH MY MOTHER /j/lht

@trash-jsab - 🫵 GIVE ME YOUR CHARACTERS, WE FEAST AT DAWN BITCHES /HEVJ/SILLY

@dykekitties - Flowerpower CEO

@comet--crusaders - I AM EATING YOUR ART BITCH THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN DO TO STOP ME /lhj/silly

(By the way, if any one of my mutuals wants to be on here, just ask! I don't bite :D)

My Fandoms:

Just Shapes & Beats/The Pink Corruption

Warriors

Stray

The Amazing Digital Circus

My Favorite Characters:

Cube (JSaB/TPC)

Gold (JSaB/TPC)

Tsavorite (JSaB/TPC)

Cyanide (TPC)

Lythorus/Lycanthropy (JSaB/TPC)

Longtail (Warriors)

Bluestar (Warriors)

Ravenpaw (Warriors)

Sandstorm (Warriors)

Yellowfang (Warriors)

Cinderpelt (Warriors)

Littlecloud (Warriors)

Goldenflower (Warriors)

Ferncloud (Warriors)

Feathertail (Warriors)

Purdy (Warriors)

Squirrelflight (Warriors)

Leafpool (Warriors)

Gray Wing (Warriors)

Jagged Peak (Warriors)

Turtle Tail (Warriors)

Clementine (Stray)

Seamus (Stray)

B-12 (Stray)

Pomni (The Amazing Digital Circus)

Gangle (The Amazing Digital Circus)

Zooble (The Amazing Digital Circus)

Bubble (The Amazing Digital Circus)

My Other Socials:

Regular Socials:

Discord: @/mugzymiik

YouTube: @/mugzymiik

TikTok: @/mugzgotlozt

Twitter: @/MugzyMiik

Art Socials:

DeviantArt: @/MugzyMiik

Toyhou.se: @/MugzyMiik

Art Fight: @/mugzymiik

Posts I've Made That Contain, In My Opinion, Pretty Cool Stuff:

Commission information [WIP]

List of all of my OCs [WIP]

List of my headcanons for The Pink Corruption

Masterlist for Just Shapes & Beats: Disloyalty AU things [WIP]

dividers by @rookthornesartistry

#pinned post #user info post

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hecckyeah · 2 years

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i think that when you stop trying to lose weight and start living and creating habits so that you feel your best, that’s when you unlock some sort of life cheat code

#sorry for all the shitposting today #my brain is going a gajillion miles an hour #but for my younger audience (or older-- i don't discriminate)#there's things you start realizing as you grow a little and mature and try to become the best version of yourself #and i think this is one of those things #i know people say it a lot but it really is true #that when i stopped thinking about the number on the scale and started realizing that yeah- maybe eating a lot of sugar makes my brain foggy #so i probably shouldn't do that #and yeah- walking at least 20k steps every day this summer was the best thing i've ever done for myself #i was in the best shape ever #and was super confident #i literally didn't step on a scale all summer and it was amazing #i was so confident #was i still chubby? yeah #did i still look like a viking woman mixed with an nfl linebacker? also yeah #but i was happy and healthy and then i threw that away again when i got sick in the fall #and never went back to it #and now i'm learning again the hard way with joint pain etc etc #so just...yeah #take care of yourselves bc you deserve it <3 <3 <3 #katie's sleep deprived ramblings

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sugared-violets · 3 years

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Tag game time!

Tagged by @esperbuddy I appreciate u

1. Why did you choose your url?

Once I reblogged an ask game post that was like "send me a nickname!" and I got "pillow" from an anon and "purple frog" from a beloved mutual. Or maybe the other way around? It was like four years ago I forget 😅

2. Any side blogs?

Yep! @chickadeeinlove for aesthetic/cute/stim spam, and @bisexualbotanist for minecraft and stardew spam. Oh shit, and @purplenotebook for my writing! Haven't updated that one in a while lol. I say the first two are for spam 'cause I sometimes reblog those things onto this blog too, but if I'm on a real kick and don't want to bug people with a bunch of the same thing it just goes to the sideblogs.

3. How long have you been on tumblr?

Five or six years I think?

4. Do you have a queue tag?

Absolutely not, the only thing in my queue is that black eyed peas 3008 post lmao.

5. Why did you start your blog in the first place?

I obsessively followed facebook pages with names like "best of tumblr", "worst of tumblr", "a tumblr a day", etc, in middle school because I was bored and lonely and eventually realized I could be getting that shit from the source

6. Why did you choose your icon/pfp?

I love hades a lot and Dionysus is one of my favorite gods in the game. Also purble

7. Why did you choose your header?

It's my kitten being cute what more explanation is there

8. What's your post with the most notes?

The "aro princess under a sleeping beauty curse is revived by her dog licking her" one

9. How many mutuals do you have?

Uhhh something like a dozen maybe? I honestly don't know, sometimes my tumblr just unfollows people without my knowledge and it takes me a while to realise so it's always kinda in flux

10. How many followers do you have?

One thousand and ninety! No, I don't know why.

11. How many people do you follow?

116! Two being mutuals I just refollowed while trying to figure out how many I have lmao (sorry!!). Also, fun fact, did you know there's a following cap at 5000? When I was first on tumblr I followed literally every person I saw who like. made or reblogged a funny post ever in hopes of populating my dash and eventually hit the cap. Purging all the very dead blogs I followed when I was 15 was a real undergoing.

12. Have you ever made a shitpost?

Almost exclusively

13. How often do you use tumblr a day?

It varies wildly from not touching it all day if I'm busy to watching stim videos for hours on end when I am in a deep depression. Most days I just hop on for a few minutes every couple hours to check out the dash though.

14. Did you ever have a fight/argument with another blog?

I don't think so? I block a lot of people to keep my dash and notes discourse-free

15. How do you feel about the 'you need to reblog' posts?

I have phrases like "friendly/unfriendly reminder", "spread this like wildfire", "why is nobody talking about" content blocked because I find them so annoying. Also the "#reblog bait" tag because some people are kind enough to tag em. This has made my dash 1000% more bearable I highly recommend it

16. Do you like tag games?

Yes! They're very fun and make me feel like I'm 15 again passing them around with my first mutuals

17. Do you like ask games?

See above!

18. Which of your mutuals do you think are tumblr famous?

You're all tumblr famous in my heart ❤❤❤ (Also once I was mutuals with an Extremely popular blogger but she softblocked me when she (31) found out I was only 19 💔💔 No hard feelings though I get it)

19. Do you have a crush on a mutual?

Obviously?? If you're in my notes consistently enough for me to notice (I look at my activity Very rarely) I'm in love with you

I'm tagging: @condulences , @sketch-wolf , @zeyzem , @queenoftheskittleholics , @nvr-pass , @enby-umbreon, and if you're one of my mutuals that I couldn't find then consider yourself tagged, I'm very forgetful but I genuinely appreciate you all

edit: why did this post half-finished????? gotta retype all my tags smh

#PSA!! if we were once mutuals but i unfollowed u please dm me so i can follow u again!!#there is a 99.999% chance i didn't actually do it n it was just tumblr being dumb n i would love to regain all my mutuals #shoutout to the two ex-ex-mutuals i found while making this post and followed again #finally my dash is healing #tag game #dani.txt

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joanofarchetype · 5 years

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A Connecticut Yankee...a kid...that's all well and good but we really don't talk enough about the werewolf in King Arthur's court

This is not a shitpost — in Le Morte D'Arthur, Sir Thomas Malory makes mention of "Sir Marrok, the good knight that was betrayed with his wyf, for she made hym seven yere a wer-wolf". Of course, Malory lifted the tale of the werewolf knight straight outta "Bisclavret," which is one of the Twelve Lais of Marie de France. And it is...wild. There's also "Melion," an anonymous Breton lai which along with "Biclarel" is believed to have evolved from the same source as "Bisclavret". In this post we're gonna refer to the protagonist as the "knight" or the "wolf-knight" and tell a somewhat composite tale.

(A note: this takes place well before commonly established werewolf lore, which crystallized thanks to Universal's The Wolf Man. Curt Siodmak wrote all that stuff about the full moon and silver bullets in 1941 so well that our common imagination accepted it as ancient fact.)

So anyway our guy is a knight who disappears for a couple nights a week and his wife is like ?????? dude ??????? where ??? do you ???? go ??????

And my dude is like "babe I love you but I can't tell you because you won't look at me the same" and she's like "I am your wIFE you better tell me right quick or otherwise have a good nose for almonds in your oatmeal" (jk she doesn't say that because if she did he might've gotten a little foreshadowing of her treachery, but alas, our man was a sucker)

So the knight tells her he's a werewolf, and on the nights he disappears he's wolfing around the countryside and his wife is like !!!!!!!!!! on the inside but makes sure her face is only 🤔 on the outside

(Mind you, Marie de France goes into how the wife is grossed out because she shared her marriage bed with a beast, which has some interesting implications but we'll get to those later)

She starts digging about his transformation until he explains how in order to return to his human shape, he *needs* to put his human clothes back on or else he'll be stuck as a wolf, at which point wifey is 👀👀👀👀

Wifey's like, "but if ur in wolf form, how do u remember where u put ur clothes lol" and the knight's like, "no no, I retain my human mind even in wolf form and besides, I always put them under this one rock outside this cave"

now bear in mind he's never been able to talk about this to anyone so he's pouring his heart out about his deepest secret which he kept even from his wife & I know we're all pretty used to medieval repression but imagine how it must have felt to share this secret at long last 😥

So to recap:

knight: 🤵🏻🛡🐾🌕🐺🤫😅😍♥️💐 wifey: 👰🏼💭🤢🤔👀🧐💡💡👔💍🔪🔪🔪

Our knight is like "yeah so I was born this way and it's just a part of who I am and whew it's kind of a relief to finally be talking about it with someone"

Wifey nods along 🤔🤔🤔 because she's had a💡moment and is 🍳 up a plan...

so the knight has unleashed (pun intended) his secret for the first time in this life and is feeling just dandy, but what he doesn't know is his wife is already plotting his downfall with her...LOVER (dun dun dunnn)

wifey & her secret lover steal the knight's clothes when he's transformed, essentially trapping him in wolf form, get him declared dead in absentia, marry each other & take over his lands

and the royal court goes for this because at this point the whole kingdom knows about the knight's habit of disappearing for days at a time (because medieval nobles are messy gossipy bitches who live for that drama) so they just assume he abandoned her

*~*ONE YEAR LATER*~* (or if you're Malory, *~*SEVEN YEARS LATER*~*)

the king & hunting party corner the wolf-knight in the woods. knight is overwhelmed at the sight of his monarch & runs up to what for all he knows might be his oblivion to kiss king's feet at which point king's like, "THAT'S NO ORDINARY WOLF. HE SHALL JOIN MY COURT IMMEDIATELY."

the wolf-knight goes to live at court where he's basically regarded as a knight (so the takeaway from this part of the lai is that a literal wild animal had a better chance of becoming a knight in ye olden days than a peasant or a woman but I digress)

anyway so there's a celebration at court and who comes to the party but the ex-wifey's new husband, now a baron. understandably, the wolf-knight does NOT react well and attacks him, and the reaction of everyone at court at this near-mauling isn't to say "whoa whoa maybe bringing a wolf to court was a bad idea" but rather "huh, this wolf has never been hostile towards a human before so obviously this guy must've personally wronged him." which is...progressive.

so the new husband/baron/co-conspirator is all "wtf keep it away from me" and the king is like "idk man, what were you wearing? maybe you smelled like royal beef jerky at the time. seems like you were asking for it"

king & the other barons take wolf-knight to the new baron's property. they just need to figure out what's going on because they're not ready to take sir wolf to his final veterinary visit, u feel? they're attached. now get ready for this next part because it's a doozy.

ex-wifey hears about the king's visit so she's waiting with gifts & cakes & shit. the wolf-knight sees her & immediately BITES OFF HER NOSE & he bites it so good her progeny can feel it & henceforth all her descendants are — I SHIT YOU NOT — born noseless. talk about losing face.

under questioning (*cough cough* torture *cough*) the wife admits to her crimes & yields the stolen clothing, which they put in front of the wolf & he just stares at them until they realize "wow yeah sorry dude our bad" and leave the room to give him privacy

when they see the wolf-knight again he's in his human form and in Marie de France's "Bisclavret" it's expressly written that the king embraces him in the bedchamber and gives him "many kisses" (hashtag heterosexual friends doing heterosexual things)

the king restores the wolf-knight's lands and ex-wifey has to live with her ex-baron in exile, forever marked for her betrayal. some real Mark of Cain shit. (obviously this lai has a lot to say about spousal dissatisfaction but that’s another day’s dissertation)

the wolf-knight (Bisclavret, or Melion, or Marrok, or Sir Wolf or whatever you fancy calling him) not only regains his good name, but also the support of a court which now knows his secret dual nature.

something to be hated or feared, only understood and accepted. no one at court shuns him once the secret's out & no one tries to change or "heal" him of his lycanthropy.

remember when I said we'd come back to the wife's reaction? in "Bisclavret" Marie de France specifically states that upon finding out his secret, the wife no longer wishes to "lie beside him." let's unpack that a bit by exploring similar themes across folklore.

the marriage bed serves as a common motif in tales of animal transformation. ex: in "Beauty and the Beast," the protagonist has to overcome her revulsion towards her suitor's ostensible monstrosity before she can accept his marriage proposal. traditionally these stories with mysterious, beastly husbands who are secretly a true catch serve as an allegory for arranged marriage, designed to help young women process their anxieties about being passed from their father's house to that of a strange new husband.

(we should differentiate these tales from those of an ostensibly appropriate groom who turns out to be a monster in disguise such as "Bluebeard," "Mr. Fox," and "The Robber-Bridegroom," as those deserve a detailed thread of their own but also provide good thematic contrast here)

more often the Beast is kind, patient & gives Beauty the time she needs to the detriment of his own freedom from the curse. once the protagonist gets over her anxiety, she ceases to perceive her groom as just a hulking hairy beast and he can take the shape of a prince at last.

circling back to wolves! in most lore both ancient and modern, werewolves represent something uncontrollable; an animalistic second nature which threatens to literally tear through our well-mannered social façade. "Bisclavret" and its various incarnations don't do that.

if you read "Bisclavret" under a queer critical lens, you can interpret the knight as bisexual; a husband has a secret duality to his nature which he is unable to express in their current social order. significantly, he is born with his lycanthropy rather than being afflicted by the sudden, violent means through which most fictional werewolves are afflicted. it's a part of who he is, and it requires no further explanation or cure.

the wolf-knight finds freedom rather than shame in his lycanthropy, and as a result maintains both honor and control while in wolf form. unlike other famous werewolves, he doesn't function as an expression of tension between the id and the superego.

considering how often wolves are used to imply sexual violence (see also: "Little Red Riding Hood" or its medieval predecessor, "The Grandmother's Tale") this would be a fairly positive portrayal of a bisexual man.

however, his wife doesn't see it that way and is repulsed at the thought of sleeping with him again, so she commits adultery and conspires against him. so really, the crimes in "Bisclavret" have a lot to do with sex, just not sexual violence.

the king's attachment to the wolf & the way he embraces the knight can easily be read as homoerotic. there's absolutely an argument to be made about the normalization of homosocial behavior & male kinship across eras but...two things can be true. either interpretation is valid.

so what we have is a werewolf protagonist — not a villain or tortured anti-hero but an honorable man who isn't made to shed his lycanthropy at the end of the tale (tail). rather, he is accepted by his contemporaries and given a place in society to live as he truly is/ROLL CREDITS

#bisclavret #marie de france #medieval literature #queer theory #queer critical theory #medieval lgbtq #werewolves #werewolf literature #i originally posted this to fb & then twitter so u can find these there #my twitter handle is also @joanofarchetype #(it's my pinned tweet)#long post #gif warning

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b-i-t-c-h-y-m-u-g-g-l-e · 6 years

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ok don't you just super hate it when people judge you for saying something and then they go on after talking shit about you, making you look like an asshole and acting like your opinions are shit, to repeat EXACTLY WHAT THEY JUDGED YOU FOR BECAUSE YOU HURT THEIR FICTIONAL FANTASY? i've just seen the most toxic hypocritical person in my life because i know she and her little friends for a fact judged and bitched about every little thing dark fans said and discussed that wasn't even forced on them

Tbh, I wouldn’t say I hate it, cos I just ignore it now, lol. Yeah, it’s extremely annoying to have some no-lifer just hounding your every word to report on it, and blowing it up into something it’s not. Even just shitposting got some panties in a bunch cos some people seem to only like being negative all the time and up in other people’s blogs (even stuff that I had in my own personal tag somehow ended up being discussed in those shitty type of blogs).

If I said I liked something and discussed it with some friends, suddenly some loser too cowardly to show their faces, would throw a fit saying, “Oh, they’re fooooorcing us! 😭” when we use personal tags for everything. Then we’d be accused of wanting attention when we didn’t go out of our way to get noticed, and if we stuck only to our friends we were “snobs”. And the amount of ridiculous shit we even had made up about us just cos our opinions upset some easily triggered person in the past were lol. We even got hate for blocking toxic blogs since wanting more positivity surrounding us instead of toxic minded vibes, makes us massive bitches (coming from people that actually blocked us first, pffffft).

A lot of contradictory shit right there, lmao. We want attention by not seeking it and then we’re snobs for not seeking it? I’m sure these people didn’t know wtf they were even feeling most of the time and only used their hatefulness as a way to fuel everything that they do in their fandoms and tbh it got tiresome.

I still think they’re full of shit and hypocritical and that’s why I just stopped giving a fuck about them. I was tired of getting as bitchy as them to fight back when it was obvious they were just being hateful for the sake of just being hateful. Maybe they don’t get attention irl, maybe their lives suck, idk… But I realized something after taking a break.

I don’t have to be like them because my life is in actually good place rn. Great family, friends, great job, fangirl stuff… I don’t have a reason to be like them. I like discussing fandom things for different fandoms, interacting with followers, talking about the good and bad things, but honestly I don’t have to be acting as a judge like these nasty people do, I don’t have to stalk and nitpick like these people do.

Why would I need to do that when I’m satisfied with my life? Maybe I’ll get called arrogant for even saying I love my life because even that gets judged. In order to be a “good” person, I have to have a shitty life, low self-esteem, and be depressed and angry all the time apparently. If I don’t have those traits, then I’m just an arrogant person cos I’m not like them.

And I’m proud of my friends cos whenever we get down to discussing random things I realized something. We’ve accomplished so many things we thought we couldn’t. Even small things we didn’t think we could do again. Some friends graduated from their universities as professionals already, others have stopped fearing being in serious relationships and are happy with their S/Os and have accepted love in their lives, others have fixed their problems and came out stronger for it.

But… These other people stay stuck and I kinda feel sorry for them. (sorry I’m sappy this early… Oh shit, it’s 10:16 my time, lmfaooooo. I fell asleep at 2:00 am, so to me, holyshit 😂).

Anyways, anon. Sorry for the long answer but I made my peace with it and just don’t pay attention to it anymore. They’re the ones that easily can look bad on their own for talking nonsense about other people all the time when those people don’t even talk to them or say anything about them or their hateful jabbing. I’m actually in the dark about a lot of things cos literally we’ve all moved on.

Lately, all I’m discussing in different discord servers are otome games and in one private one-on-one chat with a friend, she’s slowly convincing me to write fanfics again for fandoms with better reputations unlike the ones I’m usually writing for. For a positive change of scenery. She’s even doing OC idea sketches (she’s really hyped and her enthusiasm is addictive. I love her. She’s the best)

If people can’t move on from being well, being toxic for no reason, then that’s their problem. I’ll just chill surrounded by good people and having fun, thank you. 😘

#bitchymuggle #anon #anti bullshit

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invertedeidolon · 3 years

Text

The Longest Library #7: The Little Book of Complete Bollocks by Alistair Beaton

This is a series in which I attempt to read and review all (or most of) my library of 297 books.

Rundown: I'm just going to quote part of the back here: In this witty hatchet job on the therapy culture, writer and broadcaster Alistair Beaton invites you to make friends with your anxiety, give your anger a hug, and have a good long satisfying shag with your negativity.

This is a small pocket book you'd probably gift to the drunk in your life if you share their views that therapy is too touchy feely, or if one of you have failed therapy before. I was wondering why these jokes were falling flat, and more importantly, why they were falling flat in a weird way instead of a mean-spirited way you'd expect. Then I read the back and realized that the author is british. (not sorry, british comedy is fine, bad british humor is just disappointing and feels like a small round man in his 30's trying to be clever at me in the pub)

I give this a 1/5. It'll waste a good thirty minutes, and there's like, five that made me exhale through my nose a little bit, but the rest of it was slightly exasperating.

So, this book reads like 12 year old me trying to be funny. It's a comment on therapy culture if all they've seen is TV gurus and overwritten self-discovery (not self-help) books. What I'm saying is that it could have been better. There's shitposts on tumblr that does a better job than about 89% of this book. Some of these do, in fact, read like tumblr shitposts that just barely miss the mark. There were times I felt like a lot of these were better off on a twitter account, or could be plugged into a bot that's attached to a twitter account.

However, I will share a few choice pieces with you.

IMPORTANT

Feelings of unimportance are often caused by a lack of importance. Banish your feelings of unimportance by becoming President of the United States.

Did the orange narcissist read this?

THE CHILD WITHIN

Finding the child within yourself can be harder than you think. Buy a cuddly toy and take it to bed with you. Use it to rediscover the child-self you thought you had lost forever. Keep in touch with this child-self wherever you go. Throw tantrums with people who won't let you have your way. Eat too much chocolate and be sick. Show your partner your anger by wetting the bed.

*ANGRILY PEES THE BED* YOU NEVER PUT THE FORKS BACK IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION!!!

URINE

Let urine be the mirror of your soul. Every Monday morning, use a chopstick* to whisk a little of your urine in a white porcelain bowl. If your urine turns frothy, you have a terminal illness and will be dead by the weekend. *if you have issues around chopsticks, it is better to use a fork.

Here's one that makes little if any sense and feels like it failed to set out what it wanted to do. Yes I'm complaining. Yes I'm implying I might know how to do it better. Yes I'm actually going to do it.

"Urine can be a good reflection of the state of your soul. Every Monday morning,( the day of new beginnings for each week,) you can best check your soul's status by whisking some of your urine in a white porcelain bowl with a chopstick. Almost clear urine reflects your clarity of mind and peacefulness, as you must live a balanced and peaceful life to be able to drink that much water on an almost constant basis. If you can see patterns or small particles forming in the liquid, now is the perfect time to pause and contemplate the state of your medical insurance, as you will soon be needing a doctor for that heinous infection."

There. A soft punchline that makes the laughing portion of your brain give a little squeeze without actually giving you the physical urge to giggle. Because that's what they were going for, right?

COLOUR THERAPY

Try painting your therapist a different colour.

This one works. I like this one.

YOUR BODY

Your body is a superb instrument. Why not invite it to join an orchestra?

This one doesn't. Where's the funny? What's the implication? An actual orchestra, despite the average reader not being a trained musician? A choir? An orgy?

MIRROR MEDITATION

Sit down in the lotus position, facing a full-length mirror. In complete silence, stare at your own face in the mirror, without blinking. For three or four hours, nothing will happen. Persist.After four to six hours, the eyes of the face in the mirror will start to roll its eyes and its tongue will flop out of its mouth. Do not be alarmed - this is perfectly normal. Persist. After seven to eight hours, the face in the mirror will suddenly become distorted and appear to be screaming. Do not be alarmed - this is perfectly normal. Persist. After eight to ten hours the face in the mirror will come to meet yours. It will feel as if you are bashing your head repeatedly into a glass object. You will now find yourself in an altered state of consciousness. This is known as unconsciousness.It is followed by another, higher state, known as hospital.

Are they going for a horror bent? This definitely isn't advanced enough to consciously make it about eye fatigue and hypnogogic hallucinations. I feel like the amount of hours doesn't justify the end goal. It's a meditation. Usually there's an end goal of some kind in mind. Be it a time limit or a specific state or some way to KNOW when it ends. This joke only works if someone would actually have a reason to continue the exercise even though the ending may land them in the hospital. Yes I'm nitpicking. Yes I'll admit that if the bulk of it were shorter and the ending bit came way sooner it would be funnier to my tiny pea brain with a fly's bladder sized attention span.

PAINFUL

Make space for pain in your life. If you feel just fine, seek out a counselor or therapist who will explore with you the reasons why you are denying your pain.

:') This is good, it feels like a joke one of your friends would make at you.

DYSFUNCTIONAL

A dysfunctional family is not a family that fails to function; a dysfunctional family is a family that fails to function for you. Make your family function for you by asking family members to rub essential oils into your thighs. If anyone refuses, ask them why they feel threatened by your thighs.

Dril goes to therapy: the movie. This one's good.

ON THE PLANE

During long air journeys, endear yourself to crew and passengers alike by introducing those around you to the ancient power of group chant.

Theater kids, am I right?

SIMPLE PLEASURES

Get pleasure out of the little things in life. Stand on an ant.

This one is the best one. It's the absurdist and casual aggression. It's perfectly modernized and it would probably be considered the worst one back in the day.

BEYOND WORDS

Understand the importance of non-verbal messaging. Give people the sound cues which reveal your mood: If you are happy, ululate in people's ears. If you are anxious, make moaning noises. If you are depressed, fart loudly and persistently.

Ah, so mid-2000s anime fans? Got it.

So in conclusion, no need to waste time on this book. Unless wasting time is what you set out to do.

If you're truly curious, I'm selling this book. It's not on the inverted selections ebay page (where I'm putting all my stuff I don't want any more and these books will likely appear there as well) because ebay is weird and has itty bitty tiny selling limits, so I can only have 5 active listings at a time. However, if you want this before anybody else can get to it, you simply have to message me on any platform you can find me one, and we'll set something up. It's 2 US dollars for me, and about 3.50 for the postal system.

#thelongestlibrary #the little book of complete bollocks #alistair beaton #book review #invertedselections #origin1 #wri1

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