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sparklecarehospital · 4 months

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been reflecting on my year a bit, and i was thinking about something. i think i know what the best thing i did for myself this year was.

making cometcare public. making the ask blog.

ive had this AU stirring in my brain since 2019, ever since i got really attached to doomi during the haunted arc. one reason i went so long without revealing pollarrydoomi as a ship to readers was because doom's crush wasn't public information until late 2021.

i had kept his crush a mystery for 3 years, but revealed it after a fun experience where people figured out who it was through guessing. i'm pretty sure i did a poll about it? asking people to guess who they thought it was, and uni won the vote, meaning everyone had already figured it out.

after pollarrydoomi was revealed and i started drawing art for it and people made fanart for it, i still couldn't post any of my AU art because ally wasn't public and she and howie were in the AU. in july 2022, for the comic's birthday, i revealed ally as a character to the readers. others around the time had started to notice characters i had in pfps and i ended up telling everyone i did have pollarrydoomi ship kids, but i didn't make them public.

in november 2022, i revealed eve on toyhouse. after her reveal, i would soon reveal sly as well in december 2022 on my birthday (revealing sly as a birthday present to myself is such a funny gesture now that you guys know how important he is to me). over the next few weeks i revealed cream, frosty, and marco as well. all of the main cometkids except chem.

then one day someone out there suggested that i make an ask blog for the cometcare AU. it was such a spontaneous decision, and i didn't even really know what i was gonna do with it at first. i was just kinda messing around. but when i made the blog i realized that if i wanted this AU to be experienced in complete authenticity, i couldn't make uni cis.

so i revealed uni being trans through the blog, despite the fact i'd gone so many years without ever revealing her identity. why did i do it? there's a lot of reasons. not wanting to make her a "dad" in the AU contributed, but also i felt like it wouldn't be detrimental to the story to confirm a character being trans. it also made me (and the crew in general) a lot more comfortable being able to properly refer to uni with her actual pronouns.

making the ask blog really changed me, because finally i could share this little family and comfort story i'd built in my brain with the world and make it real and make content for it and let people consume it.

but what stopped me most of all?

i've said it many times before... but i felt like it was cringey.

i felt like making an AU with 93985893844 fankids in a ridiculous complicated polycule wasn't something a Serious content creator should do, and i was really worried the reception would be negative or people would think it was stupid or something. i did NOT expect it to become as popular as it is. the blog actually has more followers than the MAIN ASK BLOG for the canon comic. it was received SO POSITIVELY and the fact it was just kind of blows me away.

it means so much to me. being able to share the most special thing in my life with people and for people to actually like it and have fun with me and want to see it, and for me to be able to not have to follow strict professionalism about spoilers and chronological storytelling, and being able to change and add in things whenever i felt like it. it's such a freeing experience.

when i was a kid, i used to make stories and OCs and i didn't take them as seriously as i do the sparklecare reboot. this kind of turned into my entire life and career kinda, so i had to take it more seriously. but making this AU honestly just makes me feel like i'm a kid again, it makes me feel like i can have fun and literally do whatever the fuck i want without worrying what people think or if it's realistic or if it makes any sense.

i know though, that some people don't like pollarrydoomi. and i know why. whether it's because of being attached to barruni (of course, they're the canon ship and main characters, i get it) or just having discomfort with the idea of shipping doom with anyone when canonically he hasn't experienced a redemption arc... i get it. i know not everyone likes it.

and that's okay! people are entitled to having their own feelings about content. i understand it. and i've come to accept that's always going to be the case with anything i do with these characters.

but i'm still going to do this for myself. i do this because it makes me happy to just have fun and not worry about being serious all the time. it feels good, especially when it's with characters that are really really important to me.

cometcare is genuinely the most special and important thing i've ever made for myself, it's such a huge piece of my identity and it makes me who i am. and being able to make this story public and share it with people and share these things that have been in my brain for so long with others means so much to me.

that's why i think it was the best thing i've done this year. it's kind of literally changed my life to be able to talk about them. it's made me happier than i've ever been making content. i'm not just making it to entertain myself alone anymore, i'm making it to entertain others like i do with other stuff. and the fact people actually like it still is unbelievable to me.

so, i guess my outlook for next year as it comes is to continue to stop taking everything so seriously. i can tell my stories however i want to. i hope others can realize they can do this too.

please make whatever you want, whenever you what, as much as you want, even if it doesn't make sense or if it's "cringe". you will be so much happier when you realize as a creator you DON'T have to take all of this so seriously. the comic still exists and people read it even if i'm doing this. You Can Do Whatever You Want And Nobody Can Ever Stop You. the only person who can stop you is yourself when you let your inhibitions get in the way of your ability to create things for yourself.

have fun! life is too short to take everything you do seriously

#text #cometcare au #pollarrydoomi #long post

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idolomantises · 1 year

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I think I’m gonna discuss this once and hopefully never have to bring it up again. Originally I wanted to talk about it on Twitter but people are very disrespectful when it comes to mental health so… ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Basically, I haven’t been doing so great, mentally. Nothing bad has happened to me, I’m safe and surrounded by people I care about, and it’s been like that for months. I just, I haven’t been feeling good.

For people who do follow me on accounts like Twitter and Instagram, you may have noticed I haven’t posted anything new since January. I was struggling to feel motivated to make something for my main accounts despite having countless ideas I’d love to work on. I feel better now and do plan on getting something done in March, but that sudden lack of motivation is pretty rare for me. Art is not only my job but a big hobby for me, I just love drawing. I did get some nsfw art done at least.

I don’t know what really prompted my mental health decline, I’ve been getting a few worried messages and fanart because someone insulted my art. But that didn’t hurt me at all, it actually boosted my account and patreon.

I guess I just… got sad?

I have a really bad tendency to suppress and even ignore my trauma and feelings of guilt. And I guess one day I really sat with my thoughts and I just, lost it I guess. I have so much traumatic memories and sudden and intense feelings of self loathing, something I’ve never felt in almost a decade, that it got overwhelming. I couldn’t reassure myself, I couldn’t really talk to anyone about it because how do you confront things that happened years ago? You feel almost irrational. It’s just memories that haunt you, it’s nothing physical or tangible and yet it’s a crushing feeling of anxiety, self hatred and resentment.

I was crying almost every day, and crying so much that my eyes kept hurting long after I was done, and I could barely see my own screen. I’ve had paranoid thoughts about myself and others, thoughts I can’t get into because they’re so deeply irrational. I was feeling suicidal urges and thoughts of self harm. I don’t see myself doing it, but it’s so frequent and overwhelming it’s like I’m already planning my suicide note.

I was talking to my therapist about it, that I was starting to hate being alive. That I hated living. That I could spend the next 50 years of my life with no more conflict or trauma and I’d still be in intense misery and turmoil. They’re feelings I couldn’t really bring myself to tell friends about because what could they say? How do you calm yourself down and reassure yourself. I can’t even talk about my trauma verbally without crying. And it’s funny because sometimes minor irks started to affect me negatively. I was feeling anxious about what to draw because I didn’t want to do deal with homophobic backlash.

I went to a therapist, I talked to friends, Ive been working out more and eating better, I did everything I should do to improve my mental health and all of a sudden a single night just sitting in my room destroyed everything I was slowly building up over the past 5 years.

It’s been really difficult for me. I think also, I just felt so much guilt over not being the best person I could be. I decided to lessen my online usage, not just for my mental health but because I really wanted to work on being a better person. I want to stop hating myself and letting my trauma push me down and I want to do just be better and do better as a person. A lot of people have been very forgiving and kind to me but I don’t feel like it’s enough and I want to do more and I want to feel better about myself. I want to give everything I can to people around me. I’ve been going to therapy a lot more lately and things are getting better for me, but it’s been a very slow process.

I just want to repeat that nothing serious has happened to me. Nobody attacked me in a way that negatively affected my health. A lot of people, friends and strangers have been really nice to me these past few months. I just was doing a lot of self reflecting and unintentionally forced myself to confront a lot of my trauma. I’m saying trauma a lot. I don’t want to get into depth about what I endured because it’s my business but people who do know me know how bad things were for me. I don’t want to feel like that again. I want to feel better, and I want to do better.

Sorry for the long read. That’s just how I feel.

#txt #suicide tw #self harm tw #I was very hesitant to discuss this because whenever I talk about mental health it leans into #one side. who are super well meaning but feel obligated to make sure that I’m okay. like I’m their responsibility when I’m just a stranger #online and my thoughts and feelings should never make someone feel like they have to ‘protect’ me #and another side who sees me purposefully be vague about some of the things I discuss like trauma and regret #and just construct their own narrative and get mad at me for it #at this point I’m just too tired to care about the potential backlash of the latter #if you read all this and think I’m saying I did nothing wrong and everyone is bad except for me that’s your fantasy you get to live in #I just want to be honest about my thoughts and feelings

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worflesbian · 1 year

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right okay i dont know exactly how persistent an issue this is bc i almost never go into the tags on this website, but even ive noticed this happening so i feel like that’s justification to make a post about it. the whitewashing of julian bashir as an established Thing not just in the fandom but in official merch has been discussed before, but recently i’ve noticed the inverse happening with martok and b’elanna, a white character and a lighter latina character who people seem to often draw darker than they are in canon. and there’s like. a Lot going on there to unpack.

so this video goes into some detail about the racism baked into the origins and design of the klingons in tos, it’s very informative about the anti-asian stereotypes especially in a 60s context but i feel like it doesnt really cover the way that antiblackness becomes a more significant factor in the next gen era so like. if you didn’t know, the majority of the klingon characters in the next gen-ds9-voyager era are either played by actors with dark skin or Very frequently by white actors in heavy dark makeup. if you look up the actors of grilka, alexander, kehleyr, and sirella for example you’ll see what im talking about like the difference is Stark and these are some of the main recurring klingons across both shows. hopefully i do not need to explain why packing white actors in brown makeup to play members of a species characterised as violent, warlike and animalistic is racist. i say hopefully bc who knows with this website. anyway i’d recommend this video for a wider context on the legacy of blackface in tv!

martok is a rare example of a klingon played by a white actor who, as far as i can tell, does not have his skin significantly darkened. so to see him frequently being drawn with darker skin is uh Slightly Concerning given everything in the previous paragraph! ive even seen art where he’s drawn darker than julian in the same post which... anyway im not trying to blanket condemn reinterpreting the design of alien characters in fanart, but i am asking white fans like myself in particular to think critically as to why, out of all the white characters and aliens on ds9, martok is the one you want to do that with.

because b’elanna is not a white character i think its a slightly different situation, but at the same time she does have lighter skin and i have seen fanart of her drawn much much darker and once again, im not condeming it especially in works ive seen which explore the relationship bewteen her latina and klingon identities, but its something white fans need to handle carefully. in the voyager episode Faces where she gets split into a human and klingon version of her (dont have time to unpack all that) you can see the difference in undertones between human b’elanna and klingon b’elanna (also included a pic of regular b’elanna for reference). the brown makeup is obvious here too and if you can see why it might be racist to attribute a person’s rage and violent impulses to a part of themself that is then personified as darker skinned/more brown, then you might also see some of the wider problems going on here and can understand that this is something that demands a lot of thought and consideration.

i’d like to reiterate that this is a very complex and nuanced issue, especially considering the intersection of fictional race within the setting and the racial biases operating behind the scenes/metatextually, and i’d love to discuss it more (and to cite better sources than youtube videos when i have the time). but for now i’d just like to say yeah just ask yourself what the implications might be to drawing these characters in particular darker than they are in canon, especially if theyre the only characters you do that for, or you’re intentionally contrasting them with other characters (e.g. b/7 fanart) or yk. drawing a white character darker than a character of colour like ive seen people do with julian and martok.

#disclaimer that i am a white european and if anything ive said here has been not my place to discuss i would be so grateful to be made aware #but like. i see a lot of this and while some of it is definitely like intentionally engaging with this aspect of the text conscientiously #a lot of it clearly comes from people thinking klingon = dark skin and not bothering to unpack Why thats been established #sorry anyway.#long post #star trek #tlhIngan #ghItlhpu'wIj

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sickknotdoom · 2 months

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Im genuinely really disappointed in Kittycorn for the fact that despite kit's relatively large following, kittycorn has said NOTHING publically about palestine, despite having the power to lead a lot of people to a lot of resources.

“Kit doesn’t have much of an internet presence outside of Sparklecare!!!” Then explain to me why i see so many popular artists who barely share jackshit about their personal lives, not even their pronouns, and yet still reblog and share stuff about Palestine. Kittycorn has literally 0 excuse not to say *anything*.

I'm gonna be so real and say that I'm half-expecting Kittycorn to be like "oh i dont reblog anything about it cuz it makes me sad :-((("

kit could at least like. Draw the Sparklecare characters in support for Palestine. Kit could do the bare fucking minimum here.

Kittycorn has such a large following and a lot of power, whether kit likes it or not. I understand Kittycorn did not want this large following, nor does kit want more of it, but christ can you fucking do something?

I don't know why people aren't talking about this.

holy fucking shit youre right. ive noticed that too but i didnt wanna bring it up because i know that would make me seem "desperate" to "attack kit" or something but yeah. the ONLY thing ive seen kit do to raise awareness is post an announcement with the arab.org link in the comet caring club server. yknow the one that most fans DONT EVEN KNOW ABOUT since its closed off? yeah. no public statement or anything. no tags in any bios, no watermelon emoji, nothing. COMPLETE SILENCE on anything that isnt kits own comic. fucked up, especially since the sparklecare blog is without a doubt kits biggest platform.

there was this fanart of uni holding the palestinian flag and it was really accurate to the official artstyle, i thought it was official when i first saw it. and it had a shit ton of reblogs, including me on my main. i recognized so many names scrolling through the list. but wanna know who i DIDNT see? thats right, the official sparklecare blog. kits either ignoring it completely or actively dancing around the subject, which is NOT GOOD.

i am in no way trying to accuse kneeby or anyone on the sparklecare team of being a zionist, but i would definitely like to highlight the blatant ignorance the official blog has shown. this isnt the only time ive seen kneeby act this way, as kit also has #blm #acab in kits twitter bio but from what ive seen kits done absolutely nothing to actually raise awareness to said causes, which rubs me the wrong way since im black myself. however now kneebys completely avoiding doing anything, not even a hashtag anywhere. just a single announcement in a private discord.

and yes im putting fanart and au tags on this post, people need to notice this. do better.

#free palestine #free gaza #from the river to the sea palestine will be free #sparklecare hospital #sparklecare fanart #sparklecare uni #sparklecare barry #barruni #cometcare au #cometcare oc #cometcare fanart #.txt

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deadmaidclub · 6 months

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I saw your reply on twitter to your recent Danganronpa art where you said that people seem to prefer your drawings where you stick more closely to canon and I cannot argue with an objectively higher number of likes BUT I am sending you a message because I want you to know that your interpretations/versions of characters with headcanons included were the reason that I found your art and the reason that I followed your art blog.

Just by sharing your art online, you have taught me so much about character design. Early last year you inspired me to draw a lineup of the SDR2 cast with my headcanons included, many of which are ideas I originally heard from you. The beauty of the variety in your art has even helped me to accept and want to include canon deviation in the cosplays that I make.

Please know that even if a larger number of people notice your art when you stick to canon, there is also a group of people who lose their shit (positively) every time you share your art regardless.

waah this is so sweet thank you so much 😭😭 i want to say that i said that jokingly because i know more people are attracted to more canon danganronpa art but in no way does it make me feel like i should draw more of that or want to stray away from my headcanons or what i usually draw, neither does it make me sad that my usual art doesnt get that much attention, i just know a lot of people have a more surface level relationship with danganronpa so they immediately connect with more surface level fanart and so it gets more attention. i really love everyone who comes to my art for my headcanons and design and i know thats what most of my followers are here for!!!!! and ive never been one to draw something just to get more attention haha art is purely a hobby for me and i dont think im even capable of drawing something i dont want to lol.

im so flattered that u love my character design so much 😭 i really just shoot from the hip and go with my gut on the designs i draw so im really glad when people like them. i think more people should draw characters off model!!!!!! its very interesting to see how people picture certain characters in their head!!! and i love off model cosplays so much too!!!!!!!!! it can feel kind of weird to do, i for one have a very off-model mikan cosplay and some people have to ask me if im even her but it can feel so good to put your interpretations out in the world in such a physical way and when people love it it feels so nice. thank u sm for sending this it was so so sweet to read and i appreciate u

#txt #ask #nice things #sorry for such a long response lol i have a lot of thoughts on stuff like this ig

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2n2n · 10 months

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id love to hear you talk more about tsunene! its not a ship ive given much thought before, but i do think they have such potential to be absolute besties so i can totally see the ship appeal lol

I can do my best.... first off though, I'd point to another ask where I talked about their similarities. I think, because they both love Amane, because they both want to hear what Amane wants, they share a lot of thoughts, feelings, and experiences. I think their parallels are intentional.

When I look at fanfiction... fanart... I often feel Nene-chan gets shaved down to 'a normal girl' ... 'just nice' or something. Nene-chan has almost no friends, and she's incredibly unpopular. She's not simply a frumpy hum-drum normal girl, she's... a weird person...! She walks around the school singing songs to herself, she freaks out loudly, she's clumsy, she's super exciteable and expressive, she's childish and playful, she likes weirdly macabre things....!!!!! She's VERY different from the other girls we've seen in-manga!!!! Nene-chan is the only girl like this!!!

Gosh, chapter 1 is entirely about just how socially helpless and unable to be a normal, dateable girl Nene-chan is... she can't even give a boy flowers or make him a bento normally...!!! She's... offputting!! To most people!!! She's weird haha! It's what HANAKO loves about her...!

God only knows what she was like as a CHILD with her creepy ghoul and skull plushies, and attraction to ghost stories!! Nene-chan made the DECISION! entering middle-school to become more feminine and acquire more feminine vocations!! Before that, just how unappealing to the average person was she? The Nene-chan we know now, is a Nene-chan who has tried to make herself more appealing... ! And... she's so strange!

Getting a decent role in a school play is impossible for her, nobody would vote for her to be anything !! Because she's unpopular... ! Poor Nene-chan doesn't seem to notice this reality, though...

Nene-chan's playfulness can even be a bit much for Amane, who can be bulldozed by it! Though of course, it's part of why he loves her! That childishness is something Amane really needs in his life!! He needs to be spun and spun around, he needs to be whipped up into a frenzy! He needs someone lively!

I don't think I need to explain that Tsukasa is also exciteable, clumsy, childish, playful! Of course he is, so much so it scares some people or something, haha. Of course, Tsukasa also bulldozes Amane, too playful and energetic! ... but Amane needs that...!

Nene-chan is so easily swept into the moment with someone else-- at the tea party, and with Shijima-san within her wish... really, if Natsuhiko wasn't there, how do you think this situation would have ended? What point was Tsukasa trying to make, by crawling into Nene's lap, while she tries to assert "Hanako-kun isn't my type"...?

she's quite receptive to Hanako's excessive intrusive touching ... gradually. Lol... all these boys are too forward for her at first blush.... they're both such rude boys....

We should give Tsukasa the chance to get up close to her just as often~~ make her heart race~~

his forwardness, his honesty, his desire to peer into your heart-- what about that wouldn't suit an ultra-romantic like Nene-chan, so used to the evasive Hanako, who is always hiding his gaze from her, pulling down the brim of his hat? How do you think a long conversation would go, if they were finally completely alone? How would it feel to have Hanako's twin touching her, staring at her, calling her name? Nene-chan wants to know about him.

anyway I don't know why Nene-chan is blushing here when she recounts meeting Tsukasa, lol...

Personally, I think it's all inevitable.

It's like an approaching train ready to crash!

#avvy's JSHK

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alicenpai · 11 months

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🌟

anime north 2023 con report

finally posting this - thank you to everyone for a wonderful anime north!! \o/ this con prep season was the longest ive ever prepped for a con, and i think it was the busiest con for me ever. it makes me so happy to see people taking my art home!! 😭

so thank you for coming by anime north and chatting and supporting me! and thank you esp to the people who came by gifting their own merch?!??? - either fanart or ocs?! and im honored to see your beautiful ocs?!?? what the hell you guys are the GOAT thank you all 🥹🥹

it was so busy that i wish i had time to walk around & talk to other artists! i really wanted to get dango and onigiri at the delta too.. didnt really get time to eat so im sorry if you saw me shove 10 timbits in my mouth at the end of the con. yes i really did that .

throughout the con i kept saying "he just like me.. HE JUST LIKE ME FR!!!!!!!" every 5 seconds like an NPC. im sorry if you had to hear that more than once.

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i wasn't able to post my con catalogue for AN on tumblr and instagram... i was so busy.. dying... maybe if i do other cons this summer ill post something similar. i had a lot of new stuff this year so formatting it was rough haha. here it is! more thoughts under the cut (bc this report really is more for me, but maybe someone can find something useful)

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this is more for me honestly, so it will be really long. but i'm sharing it in case it may be helpful for others. i find that i'm always looking back at my old con reports, so typing out all of my thoughts are really useful to me. overall a great con, fellow artists and customers alike really inspire me to do better in my art.

comparisons to last year: (since i didn't end up making a con report last year!!!!!)

location: the artist alley layout was huge, and im really happy there are a lot more newcomers to the con scene. i know how much my first con experience meant to me, so i want others to join in on the fun! i don't know how the artist alley staff managed to fit so many artists in the building now! we got placed in a corner where there was a lot of breathing room, and a lot of traffic. i got lost a few times (didn't actually have time to walk around, but you know, it was to get in and out of the con centre and to the washroom/water station) because the amount of tables was overwhelming however, and the layout was super confusing. however i didn't feel as if there were any significant bottlenecks in traffic when i was taking some walk breaks.

commissions: last year it was still busy, but i still had some time to draw a handful of commissions. this year was a non stop barrage of customers! i think i may retire on the spot commissions at cons, just because ive always found it too stressful to draw right at the con, even if the traffic is slow. (and im lazy)

fandoms: last year i felt that it was... never so difficult to sell niche and old fandoms...? most people bought primarily 3 things from me at AN 2022, and not much else was touched. it was a struggle, and i even wondered if my art plateaued, if it wasn't good, if i should stop doing conventions altogether, at least for a little while. this year was so surprising with how much love there was for old and niche fandoms. two people from quebec came by and noticed the old fandoms and mentioned that if i was able to come to otakuthon, i should, people in mtl love nostalgia.. i'm gonna be honest otakuthon was pretty bad expenses-wise for me, but i heard it picked up since cons came back in 2022. it is a really beautiful city so mayhaps.. i will come for miss montreal.................

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and a separate section on the new merch i made:

the new sticker sheets i printed (one piece, baccano, breaking bad/better call saul) did so well! nts to add luffys scar bc apparently i forgot... ive seen this dumbass's face for hundreds of eps and yet i still forgot .

these are a far cry to the sticker sheets i designed in previous years. many sticker places restrict you on how many stickers you can place on a sheet due to spacing requirements... the more stickers you have + the closer they are, the higher the margin of error, which i understand is why many professional sticker printers have these restrictions in place.

the artists i worked with for my AN stickers are so genuinely nice and accommodating with my requests. I just went wild haha. the sheets with the most stickers are brba/bcs at 27 stickers and one piece at 32 stickers.

2021 (top) vs 2023 (bottom), the chara stickers on the new sheet are larger & 2x as many item stickers! the new design makes greater use of the space. my octopath 1 stickers are meant for planners but you could use it for anything!

in 2017 i could only realistically fit 6 ish stickers on a sheet (for vinyl, not cricut home printing) due to printing restrictions. these costed about $3.30 CAD per sheet from s/ticker/mule (not worth it for the price point AT ALL... but i wanted to try sheets for the first time)... and yes it's a tiny 4x7 as well. it was a hard sell for $7 in 2017. but im glad artists have been pricing them a bit higher + sheets have become much more customizable.

now on to charms:

i am so obsessed with this borderless charm look on the new charms... they look like candy... thank you guys for loving my new charms!! i tried out a new technique with designing charms. and im so happy with how they turned out. the charm manu was super accommodating and they are so much better than vograce who fucked up my order so bad in 2022 🤡👍

the soul eater charms from last year were kind of a precursor to this. last year i tried something a bit different than my usual with the transparent bgs, which require full bleed in the file setup, and that was already pretty new for me. i find that charm sales are usually pretty mid for me, so during the pandemic i took a soft break from making them, and i wanted to do research based on others' designs and really tried to improve my design sense. to me i want to design charms that aren't just a flat piece of artwork that gets printed, but something that utilizes the capabilities of the acrylic material it gets printed on 🤔

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fandoms/merch types i want to try next time i table:

more soul eater? it's one of my favourite animes and im very happy for the soul eater love this year. my partner kept selling out of her soul eater prints even though it was her first time tabling!

fma! ive been rereading AND rewatching it lately. it's one of my top 5 anime of all time so me drawing anything for it is a struggle, the bar is set so high. i never end up having the time or ideas to draw anything for it (and the aesthetics are very different from my usual taste)

shadows house has been one of my favorites recently!

dungeon meshi, the print i made was back in 2018 and i think it's time to retire it! it sold out at AN, thank you! with the way the story has developed in the last 5 years, i really want to draw something new for it if i can.

blue period needs more love!

golden kamuy.....

and many more.....

i also want to try mini prints maybe...

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administrative stuff:

next time before the con, i definitely need an organized chart i print out before the con so im not.. literally writing down each transaction... 🧍‍♀️

clamps...?

possibly new display? grids even with plastic panels are heavy... and they can be a pain to put up. this AN we had our neighbors and good friends @nappotuna & @stripeyworm helping us put the grids up, they did an absolute speedy banger job! but it might have taken way longer without 4 hands on the grid work.

if we had used tape to hold our prints up as well who knows how long it would have taken. we used magnets, apparently a lot of people were using them at TCAF. they were so easy to put up and adjustable. *jesse pinkman voice* MAGNETS, BITCH!!!!!!!

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merch i may shelve/do less of:

i really appreciate when artists talk about these kind of things behind the scenes... when products do well, when others dont, products w surprising responses, the factors that we think affect sales... the hard truth is that not everything sells, just bc the art is good =/= good sales, etc etc.

lately ive found it so fun to design sticker sheets over individual die cut stickers!! i understand now why some people only specialize in stickers!! it's also such a pain to stock individual characters and have greatly varying levels, bc of customer interest, and bc of how printing stickers works, you often get extras of random characters due to overflow 😭.. like at some point I had 7 jeannes and like only 1 of the other vnc charas bc the printer had so many extras and she's arguably less popular HDHFJSJHDJS anyways, i think i'll probably do less die cut individual stickers for my next con...

anything old that i only have 1 or a few copies left (meaning i won't reprint) i may not have for display anymore bc of space concerns... before my next con ill just post them on social media to have people claim them!

i may want to do less 3" charms in the future...? theyre a hard sell online prob bc i cant really do deals (i could but id have to be checking the stock every few hours which is not ideal), but they do a lot better in person due to deals.

it's been fun to try specialty products (I've tried scrunchies, stamps, pouches, microfiber cloths, coasters, enamel pins), but i... find they dont sell well for me... maybe my art doesnt have that wide mainstream nostalgic merch type appeal idk... maybe im just not good at designing or advertising them wahahaha. (specialty charms are still charms and i wouldn't necessary consider them a part of this)

my jojo buttons were really popular at anime north 2019 and fan expo 2019, but when the part 5 anime concluded, i noticed that interest for the interest completely moved on 😭 (or it's possible that everyone who was interested bought the buttons already?). part 6 anime didn't rejuvenate the same level of interest. it was a struggle to sell even more than a handful of these at each AN 2022 and 2023. right now they're taking up a lot of space in my con luggage that i'd prefer for newer, better art. i still love the art i did, but unfortunately, i think ill give them a go if i get into otakuthon (and maybe fanexpo too), then it'll be time to retire the jojo buttons. sometimes fandoms come and go so fast, and it's difficult to keep old merch around when they don't have any more interest and when they're occupying a lot of space.

my banana fish lollipop charms do not sell well, and i only sold 5 of them in a 3 year period, across cons and my shop. i created a bargain bin at AN, and it really helped me get rid of old things! unfortunately even in the bargain bin i could not sell a single one of the banana fish charms. maybe it's the art that's not appealing, the characters aren't recognizable, the price point for a lollipop charm was too high, i wasn't hitting the right audience, the market was slow around the time, even when it was included in my promo post... etc. these lollipops were my first time making specialty charms. unfortunately i think that's the last time making lollipop charms, and about time to recycle these charms, so that i have space for fresher and better art!

other thoughts moving on:

maybe go back to simplifying my art a lot more... if i keep making drawings like my great ace attorney tarot + zine, witch hat atelier print, and pandora hearts print, then id not only take 1 month per illustration, id also be destroying my arm 😭 i stopped stylizing my art in 2021 bc i found that my art was getting sloppy in 2020 + i was really struggling in life drawing in school. i needed to buckle down and be more conscientious when drawing poses, learning anatomy and structure... and bc getting back into anime in 2021 really helped me cope with the isolation of the lockdown, so that had a huge influence on my style. but bc of that i think it just took longer and longer to make illustrations and that's something i no longer really wish for.

i really like the period of my art in 2017 with a lot of my persona 4/5 art bc it still has structure even though it's simplified... and the style in my zelda icon... mayhaps experiment a bit more this summer if i can...

#anime north 2023 #anime north

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ronwestbreeze · 3 months

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Ive noticed a lot of avatar fans on tiktok or Twitter act so weird about ship art/fanart and I find that so funny

Cus shipping and crack ships have been a thing for decades with literally any and every fandom regardless if the character has a canon relationship or not, but somehow they freak out about some fanart of Jake with tsu’tey/Tonowari/quaritch or Neytiri with ronal and it’ll be the most tame fanart ever??

yeah i don’t get wasting your energy over something like that honestly. sure you don’t have to like the ship but don’t go out of your way to hate on people that do ship it (unless it’s a super problematic ship) it’s just a waste of time and will make you miserable in the end.

#ronwestbreeze’s got mail

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clonehub · 1 year

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someone in the tags of that meme said they dont understand why tbb stans take criticism of their shows so personally. while i have a range of theories as to why, in general, fans of a show cannot just let people not like the show, the tbb stans in particular seem to....idk, think the bad batch is Doing Something? i did literally see someone say that you cant criticize the show because the animators work so hard on it, and they conflated negative feelings about the series with a lack of desire to see *any* aspect of the Bad Batch, like "yeah youre complaining but look at these nice visuals do you not want those anymore???" which was a false equivalency.

and of course there's the whole fandom-as-identity and stan-as-personality and a lot of people's growing inability to take variegated and holistic approaches to the series. even the ones who admit that the show has flaws regarding how they write wrecker seem to be unable to realize/point out that wrecker's writing is problematic because it is racist.

racism as a factor in the poor quality of the writing is one that ive noticed gets ignored almost COMPLETELY. i and others like me who do not like the bad batch are able to point out the stereotypes and poor optics and everything else while talking about the writing. people who love the bad batch cannot. i guess because then, admitting that the writing and animation are inextricably racist would make them look a little silly for loving the show so much, because you can say the character development was slow but you still love it. but you can say "yeah he's a racial stereotype and there was a weird reverse racism thread to their back story and they do make efforts to prove these white characters are better than these nonwhite ones--but i still love it".

but in general, since ive deviated a little, like....i remember when uwwtbb first came out and it was *incredibly* difficult for people to separate themselves from what they were consuming. people complained about the racism in the show and they complained about the more or less explicitly racist fans of the bad batch and you had other stans (who often had to bring up that they were poc, but obv not always) saying "well im not a bad person for watching the show" or asking if they could watch it. like i cant control what you watch. me passing judgement on you specifically makes no sense. although one does have to consider how much they're willing to tolerate, praise, or brush aside for the sake of their own personal entertainment. i am watching season 2 of the bad batch to keep track of any other racist developments that happen (which, thankfully, have been minimal). you are watching because you find joy in it. we are not the same. we dont need to be.

but connecting to what id said earlier about tbb stans i guess not understanding their own "buying power", so to speak--if criticizing a show means criticizing the people who watch the show, and if a lot of people who watch the show definitely don't care about the whitewashing that much, then there is no sense in acting shocked when the by products of a racist show are racist. the confusion over tech's 1/6th model as if he doesn't look like a boring white man in the series was irritating. you asked for this. you can't say tech is hot and you can't spread whitewashed fanart and you cannot implicitly and explicitly support the racist design and then turn around and be surprised when you are given exactly what you asked for.

#ch posts #this fandom era sucks balls ngl #long post #or it may not be that long #i am on mobile #whats awful about this is the discrepancy in what people consider important #to talk about #how i cant really talk about the racism in the series or peoples responses to it as much as id like #because a) no traction b) harassment #idk this post is kinda all over the place but again like #''why are you saying i suck because i like a show that sucks?'' i wonder how many people are saying that #how many people are saying that specifically and how many people are more specific about it #maybe you suck because youve made it clear the whitewashing is inconsequential to you #maybe thats what some folks are saying #maybe dont refuse to point out a problem and then be surprised when it is not fixed

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astranauticus · 6 months

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ok one last post about the Project to truly exorcise it from my brain. just some process/design thoughts (also now that it's done if you want to read my liveblogged whinging for whatever reason here it is)

first off some stats because i kept stats like the nerd that i am:

time wise making this animatic took about 93.5 hours give or take (thanks procreate process replay) spread across exactly 2 months

anyway when i said i finished this project mostly through stubbornness and sunk cost fallacy this is what i meant lol like a lot of my thought process through this was just 'no way in hell am i letting some of these drawings disappear into my drafts forever'

on average each frame took about 2 hours 45 minutes but thats a bit of an overestimate since i forgot to count some of the animated bits from the first two lines (so id guess the actual number is more like.. 2 hours 20 minutes?)

btw that line with the starry apparition fading away? 12 hours total

the single longest and most painful frame to draw was the one of the crew walking through tu'narath (5 hours 30 minutes) because a. perspective b. architecture design c. for some reason i put a lot of detail into rendering the armour on all the githyanki i drew why on earth did i do that

(its especially painful bc that frame was one of the ones that didnt... feel like an important enough moment in the actual story of the show to be worth capturing the way the wish or even like, endellion is, i just needed to put that there for the storytelling flow or whatever of the animatic itself and it bothered me so much)

one other interesting little mishap was that i did all of these on canvas size 1080x720px (so that's why the youtube resolution isnt particularly high lmao) which is why procreate let me put an absolutely absurd amount of layers in one canvas (all 8 frames of with memories projected on the astral sea were done on one canvas. 159 layers) because the layer limit for that canvas size is 400 BUT. i accidentally started the starry apparition fade on an A4 canvas (my default canvas size for like all my normal fanart) and i only realised after finishing all the lineart and starting on colouring because i hit layer limit so i had to resize the canvas which did... interesting?? things to the lineart resolution

also if youre wondering how i drew K-LB that many times in something resembling timely fashion the answer is i sacrificed some... amount of sleep to 3d model and rig him in blender which. honestly? i consider it a roaring success

splitting the frames by bar was a Choice and certainly a choice ive.. had doubtsTM about but thats the kind of thing you cant really change without bringing the whole project crashing down so if the frames seem to move a bit too fast im so sorry there was really not much i could do there

idk if people actually noticed the very very tiny drawings of the crew moving around on the ship in the 4th line especially since they sometimes get obscured by the subtitles but the REASON for that is in my original drawings the subtitles went in the top left corner but they kept conflicting with other stuff so i just gave up and threw them to the bottom (also i originally included the chinese lyrics but then i got lazy lmao)

anyway that little detail like VR-LA angstily looking at the sea reminiscing about the JourneyTM and the crew sort of appearing along with the memories of their adventures together was one of those things that seemed SO COOL in my head but once i actually execute it its like. hmmmm not sure if that worked out the way you thought it would buddy. also the tiny crew was EXTREMELY hard to draw so put that down as another point in 'me subjecting myself to deeply painful and out there compositions for no good reason'

anyway i called this my magnum opus but i do actually have some thoughts about another one (a companion piece, if you will) for another song by the same band because now that i know what capcut can do im.. really itching to try something a little different because this like powerpoint presentation style? fully a product of me using iMovie as my only available video editing software for the past like 7 years of my life

#rwd #asto speaks #re: the projectTM #one last time using this dumbass tag lmao #honestly? also put another point in 'i worked on a project for so long it became just a Project to me and proceeded to get #absolutely blindsided by the emotional affect it has on people'#2 months. 2. months.#whatever actual emotion this idea was originally trying to draw from is long fucking gone buddy #like i did manage to re-experience some of it looking at the finished product but #i appreciate yalls screaming a lot i just truly did not anticipate it LMAO

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wintered-debtz · 3 months

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CT ocs!!! idk their names yet other than kenni's. more info about my fan story/ocs under the cut (warning: its super long!!)

I have a fan AU in my head. The premise of my AU takes place in the Cramp Twins universe, about 6-7 years into the future. The protagonist is Kenny, who is based a lot on myself. In my AU, Soap City has a scandal regarding the soap factory, and people are moving out En Masse. Property value has gone down, people are losing their jobs. So my fan AU is gonna be focusing a lot on the hardships that come with this.

Kenny is based a lot on me, and he is the main character of the story. He is Beady's son, and his father is a Swamp person, but as a child, he lived with his Mother beady

That girl on the way right of my drawing? Thats the bully from the girl gang! (Shes the one in the middle). She is Kenny's best friend.

She and Kenny are long time friends. Kenny was once part of the girl gang and thats why they are so tight-knit. How was he a part of the girl gang, you may ask? Kenny is trans masc. He came out much later. Kenny is in his early 20s. Im thinking about naming her Trix or something similar in honor of an old OC of mine.

The girl in the middle is Trix's girlfriend. I don't know her name yet. Shes the girl from School Disco (the one with orange hair!!)

Many fans suspect Mari Phelps is adopted. So this girl, I think is Maris biological sister. Mari was taken away as an infant/toddler, so Mari does not remember much, but her older sister deeply is hurt and feels wounded by losing Mari. Sometimes only one child is sent away to live with another guardian in certain cases. I feel bad introducing such a dark element into a fan AU. I won't delve much into it. Point is, she really hopes she can meet her younger sister again one day. Im thinking of naming her beatrice but idk.

There is of course, already a huge plot hole in my AU... if this is Mari's sister, then dang, Wayne has an older doppelganger who looks exactly like him... ughhhh -_-

this loophole literally made me want to scrap the story and work on something new ugh. bc even though the main characters of the cramp twins arent the main focus, they ARE present in my story. So this "wayne" is very contradictory if I use the girl from school disco as a character and have her be maris older sister, fff. (I kind of HC that mari is based off her, who agrees? mostly bc the orange hair and her "edge" attitude, for lack of better word)... bc wayne and all the others are present in the story, but they are younger than the main characters.

Again, this story takes place 6-7 yrs in the future, . heres a preview of some designs im making for the already existing characters/ them when they are in high-school

this is Wendy Winkle's new design. in the story, she has a lot going on. with the soap factory shutting down, her family loses a lot of money. her parents are going through a messy divorce. i know this seems out of character, but sometimes hard circumstances will change a person- wendy is still popular at school but she is very depressed and as a result, more reserved and quiet in high-school. she has a lot of regrets on her mind but idk if i wanna say it. shes a sad prep kid basically. i think her father will have main custody, but the money comes from her mother... the soap factory shutting down causes a lot of issues for walter winkle and he has to live in the swamp. wendy may potentially be living with tony for some period of time in this AU. it forces her to uh. sadly face a lot of things her parents never prepared her for.

then this is Wayne and lucien. both of them grow their hair out. (Fun fact: I am digitizing this doodle!! its not done tho)

anyway, Wayne is kind of grungy, he often is wearing overalls bc he works a lot at the junkyard. Lucien kinda loosens up and becomes uh. a "hippie" for lack of better word??? i notice many ppl think he would be preppy, ive seen two fanarts depict him as a prep kid when he gets older. but after i thought about it, its so possible lucien wants to rebel that life style and focus on what matters to him - peace and justice!!! thus the hippie attire :] (im projecting bc i was that way in highschool and i relate to lucien a lot lolol)

theres so much more i can type about my fan AU but basically the premise is... soap city is falling apart, families are falling apart. everything is hard, but maybe things can get better...

tony goes to school in this AU bc his family is worried tony might not have a future. there is a possibility the swamp may be destroyed due to pollution (the Soap factory scandal has to do with a leak into the swamp, hurting much wild life and even civilians). mari realizes she is a lesbian and fights with her conservative mormon parents a lot...

all 5 of the main kids work together at a grocery store, for varying reasons. and Kenny is a long-time employee there, thats how he meets them. Its all connected in some way. Kenny lives with Trix, the girlfriend of Mari's older sister. so thats why one day, they will get to meet, for example.

i have too much going on in this AU, dont i? :P typing this all out has been very exciting tho. i never typed it all out like this before. my ideas for my AU usually just float around in my head as i work or listen to music

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dramionediscussion · 10 months

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Lisa how do you keep engaging here? I know you get a lot of hate when people don't like what you have to say. ive seen it a few times. but you still come back and answer asks and continue the blog and are pleasant to everyone. I don't want to engage with twitter because of how bad people treat each other. but you still run this blog even though people are hateful to you. how do you do it?

I don't think we get a lot of hate here, the vast majority of people who send in asks and comment on the posts are very nice and pleasant people.

I just ignore the ones who are not too nice. But even those people are not really bad. We have never gotten true hate mail, like racist or sexist comments towards us.

We have gotten people who have said things like we "are sad for liking Draco", or "Dramione sucks", "you suck" etc. But nothing too disturbing.

I just laugh at those types and move on. Those people are just doing it just to get a rise out of you, and I am not gonna give in to them! lol

But the ones where there is clearly a difference of opinion, well I acknowledge that myself and the OP have different views of things, and I am not gonna change their minds. So just gently back off, and it seems they come to the same conclusion and back off too. It's the only thing to do in those situations.

Also, honestly, I'm in my 30s, I just don't have the patience to get angry anymore lol. If you wanna argue about something and do not wanna listen to my input and think you are right and no one can change your mind...okay cool, whatever. Sometimes you just need to leave it as is, for your own mental health.

You will come across so many people who will not agree with you in life. You will come across some bull-headed people who get off by being offensive. You will come across people who will choose to remain ignorant about things they don't understand. You will come across people who just hate for no reason. No amount of talking, reasoning, or showing them proof will make them think differently.

The best thing for you to do if you are in that situation is to just walk away. Wish them well and leave. You will not change anything, unfortunately.

Obviously, there will be circumstances where your voice will make a difference and in that case, use it wisely.

But in this fandom, it's not worth it honestly. Don't engage with hateful people. Don't engage with people who wanna trash-talk you for not liking the fics they like, for seeing flaws in writings, for noticing plot holes, for just not wanting to read a fic or caring for fanart. This fandom is big enough for everyone. So even if you are disappointed by an author and their group for being mean, there are so many more authors who are lovely people. Engage with them instead.

Also, Twitter is not a good place anymore. The site sucks and we should all not use it. Ever since that man took over, there is so many hateful people who got emboldened to spew their hatred. There are other places for you to interact with other Dramione fans and authors. Like here on Tumblr, FB, or Reddit. And you can always direct message the authors on ffnet or AO3. And of course comments are very much welcomed by any author.

Don't worry, not every part of the fandom is like what you saw on Twitter. Most people here are really nice and cool!

-Lisa

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windmills123 · 1 year

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intrigued by what u love most abt yume nikki

like what made u go "oh damn this game is SUCH A GAME"

if u kno what i mean?

im glad you asked. well... holy fuck, i could talk about yume nikki for hours!! but... if i had to summarize it down, heere are some points:

its yume nikki!!! such a unique and different game from anything ive seen, even with its fangames. well if you look back at the gaming scene in 2004, then something like an rpg maker game thats NOT an rpg and actually a weird surrealism thingy was kind of crazy. it does seem to be inspired by the mother series, which has a lot of weird artsy stuff and also lsd dream emulator, also a game where you walk in dreams, which is self explanatory. also it utilizes rpgmaker mechanics in SUCH mindblowing ways, it doesnt even feel like it was made with it. it flows VERY well for a 2004 indie game.

the atmosphere and theming is so awesome. the NPCs who are completely indifferent to you, the worlds all connectin g together, etc. also, the art and music is really charming in kind of a nostalgic way, the aztec inspirations for the npcs, all the different sights and how desolate and lonely it feels, yet kind of still comforting. you know?? like the dreamworld is an escapism for madotsuki, but she still cant escape the horrors of reality..............

3. every part of it is very mysterious. a whole intigue of the game for many people has been what the dreams are really about!! of course there is also the developer kikiyama, who theres practically 0 info on. even though obviously people should respect their privacy, people still wonder what happened or why the game never got finished. i hope they're well....

4. the fanbase of yume nikki is one of the most cool ones ive seen. its one of those old fandoms from back in the 2000s that never stopped going, like touhou.. you can find a lot of old short little animations of yume nikki. theres the big viewed ones, but also ive found really obscure ones with under a 1000 viws, which shows how much people cared about it. even though the game was seen as dark, they were often really wholesome. theres also yume nikki fansites from back then, and a lot of cool fanart. even though the fandom was fairly small, its kind of like a window to how different the internet used to be. now its even more popular with internet horror stuff being more noticed recently.

its just really kind of heartwarming that so many people connected with a short game about isolation and anxiety posted on some forum site back in 2004 by an unknown person, i think.

5. the fangames!!!!!!!! there are so many fangames for this game, all because people liked the idea so much, hundreds of them wanted to try making one. ynfgs are always really charming to play, however none of them compare to yume 2kki ( the big one). its the closest ive ever felt to going to another world in a video game, even more than yume nikki itself.

because so many people have worked on it, 2kki has an endless seeming amount of content which is pretty awesome. some people think its incoherent because of how big the game is, but it always made it feel more like a dream to me. especially like one you would have as a child, falling asleep while being driven home from a birthday party or something like htat. fun fact: 2kki got started in 2007, before the final yume nikki update, which means there is a chance kikiyama might have even played it, which is pretty crazy...

well, thats my rambling about my favorite things about yume niki! lol i think thats too much text, oops. well, high five if you actually read that................. <:,-]

#yume nikki #yume 2kki #ynfg #asks #this is my favorite game ever. in case you couldnt tell.#0_0 #sorry 4 long answer i simply had a lot to say

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mueritos · 2 years

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how does one get noticed as an artist? I have multiple platforms for my art like DA, Tumblr, and Ko-Fi, but it feels like everything gets drowned out by the sheer multitude of better artists. which, ya know, is kinda sucky bc my comm slots have been collecting dust for a month (and never mind I'm in a rough financial spot). I'm told my stuff is good, but that's from my small niche of friends, so it just feels obligatory :/

Hmm. This is really difficult to answer considering every social media platform works differently. Algorithms are constantly changing, so it makes it even more difficult to catch on. Posting everyday gets you the most engagement, and even with hundreds or thousands of followers, only half of them will see your posts because you arent posting regularly. ill insert a readmore.

I cant tell you how this all works because I refuse to learn how it works. Ive always just posted whenever I wanted, posted whatever I wanted, and have been doing so for many years. But I have found several things that have gotten me noticed have contributed to my growth. Before that, a really great art youtuber, Kelsey Rodriguez, does a really good job at giving advice regarding growing on social media as an artist and how to the run the business and growth side while managing the art, so Id check those out.

having a larger project, like a comic.

having a comic, and it doesnt have to be a webtoon or published on a comic hosting site, not only forces you to improve in your art by constantly drawing and experimenting, it also gives you something to post regularly. Posting regularly is important, and even if its only once or twice a week, the crucial part is that its consistent. this is more likely to give your followers content to look at, but it can attract people who relate or enjoy your comic, and can help solidify an audience. Ive done two comics so far, and my first one allowed me to understand how to draw them, and my second one allowed me to understand how to have fun with them. Both times I continued to grow an audience who enjoyed not only the comic, but myself and my other art.

fanart (unfortunately)

fanart often gets more views than original art, which is unfortunate because lots of people have awesome ocs and original art that should be noticed. but people like having context and lore to whatever theyre seeing, and if its connected to something they already know, it can bring them more joy than to look at something theyre unfamiliar with. While i dont draw fanart as much as I used to, drawing it regularly (i used to do a lot of anime fanart back in hs), can help build you an audience of people who enjoy the same media as you! it can help boost you even more if you draw fanart for smaller bands, shows, books, etc, because tagging creators or staff who have worked on those media can sometimes get them to like and share the post as well!

other artist interaction

you need to build relationships with other artists. I have to admit this has been difficult with me, but if you have artist friends online who also have an audience, you can all work together to introduce your audience to each others' art. many of my mutuals have similar followers, and this is because we all hype each other up, share each others art, and tell people about each others art. sometimes all it takes is for one mutual to share your art for you to gain an influx of hundreds of followers.

Overall, I want to encourage you to continue drawing. Commissions are not the end all be all of your value; you need to build an audience, build experience, and build consistency before you come to that point where people will commission you. Its a difficult reality, screaming into the void, but once you realize youre not the only one, you start to build connections and community with other artists for support.

I wish u the best of luck!

#muertoresponds #art stuff #i wud b more than happy to boost an comm forms or donation funds btw!

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