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#someone zip their ass on over to michigan for me and give me one (or three dozen)
trashbaget · 11 months
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i need a fucking hug!!!!!!
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btsqualityy · 5 years
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Amour Vincit Omnia / 17
Warnings: oral sex (oc receiving), unprotected sex, squirting 
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“So, are you sure that you don’t want me to fly to Michigan and kick your father’s ass for you?” Cassie asked, making Akira laugh as they sat together on the couch in Cassie and Hobi’s apartment.
“Nah, it’s not worth it,” Akira shrugged. It was Tuesday night and Akira had been back in New York since Sunday night. She enjoyed the rest of her visit with her mom and her brother and once she was back in New York, it was business as usual; with her working in the gallery with everyone during the day and working on her art whenever she had free time.
Her and Taehyung hadn’t talked much since he left on Thanksgiving for Korea, him being busy sorting out his business and the time difference being the reasons for that. However, he was coming back to New York today and Akira could barely contain herself. She didn’t regret telling him that she loved him before he left, but she kind of wishes that she knew what to expect. Were things gonna change between the two of them because they had finally declared their love for each other? She hoped not.
“Hey Kira,” Cassie called as she waved her hand in front of Akira’s face and Akira gasped as she broke out of her thoughts. “What the hell were you thinking about so hard?”
“I just...I have something else to tell you about this weekend,” Akira said and Cassie rose her eyebrows. “Me and Taehyung told each other that we loved each other before he left my mom’s house.”
“Is that it?” Cassie chuckled. “It only took y’all long enough.”
“What the fuck do you mean, ‘is that it?” That’s a big deal!”
“I didn’t say it wasn’t but I’m honestly surprised that you guys hadn’t said it already,” Cassie admitted. “You two have been stuck to each other like Velcro since your first date so I figured that you guys would be that couple who says ‘I love you’ pretty soon.” 
“Five months could be considered to be pretty soon by some people.”
“Who? Baby boomers?” Cassie wondered with a laugh and Akira rolled her eyes at her. Just as she was about to respond, Akira heard her phone ringing. She picked it up from it’s spot on the coffee table that sat in front of the couch and saw that it was Taehyung calling. 
“Hello?” Akira answered after sliding the button across to accept the call.
“Hi pretty girl,” Taehyung’s deep voice said through the receiver.
“Hi,” she grinned, and Cassie smiled as she listened in. “Did your plane just land?”
“Yeah, I’m getting into my car now,” Taehyung replied and she could hear a car door shut from his end. 
“You get everything settled with Vantae?”
“Eh, as much as I could,” he sighed heavily. “I didn’t wanna stay there for long so I did everything that I had to do there and the rest I can take care of when I get back into the office tomorrow.”
“Hm, well I guess you can just text me whenever you’re free then,” Akira whispered.
“What are you talking about?”
“Well, I know you’re gonna be busy for the next few days and you just got off a 14 hour flight,” Akira pointed out.
“That doesn’t mean that I don’t plan on seeing you, especially not tonight,” he said and Akira’s heart leaped. “I wanna see you pretty girl.”
“You sure that you’re not too exhausted?” She double checked.
“For you, of course not. Come over to my place?”
“Alright, I’m on my way,” Akira replied. “I’ll see you soon.”
“Ok. Bye baby.”
“Bye,” she smiled before hanging up the phone. She looked up at Cassie, only to find Cassie already looking at her with a wide smile on her face. “What?”
“Yeah, you are definitely in love,” Cassie smirked and Akira just rolled her eyes once again. 
“Alright, I’m leaving,” Akira announced as she stood up and slipped her boots back onto her feet. “Love you Cass.”
“Love you too and tell Taehyung that I said hi,” Cassie replied and Akira nodded as she headed towards the door. “And don’t get pregnant!”
“Ugh, bye Cass!” Akira said as she walked out of her apartment. 
................................
Akira knocked on the front door to his apartment, shifting idly from her left foot to her right when he opened the door.
“Hi baby,” he grinned, his wide smile on full display. She stepped forward, pressing a short kiss to his lips and giving him a quick hug before stepping around him and walking further into his apartment.
“How are you?” She wondered as he shut the door behind her and locked it before walking over to her and grabbing her hand in his, intertwining their fingers together. 
“Tired,” he replied honestly as he let a rush of air out of his mouth. He began to walk forward, pulling her along as they walked up the stairs and down the hall to his bedroom. 
“Sorry for the mess,” he apologized as they stepped into his bedroom. “I was unpacking when you knocked.”
“No, it’s ok,” she nodded before taking off her boots and climbing onto his bed, making herself comfortable. “So, how was Korea?”
“It was ok,” he shrugged as he kneeled down next to his suitcase, pulling out clothes and throwing them into his hamper. “It was just filled with tedious meetings with old ass men.”
“Are you the youngest person in the company?” Akira asked as she grabbed one of his pillows, hugging it to her chest as she leaned up against his headboard.
“The youngest with any actual say in what goes on? Yeah,” he confirmed. “And those old men hate me for it too.”
“Well, what about your uncle? Is he still a shareholder?”
“Yeah but his share is so small now, he really has no power anymore. He was serious about being done when he turned the business over to me and retired,” Taehyung chuckled. 
“Why do the old ass men hate you?” She wondered with a giggle and Taehyung looked over at her, smiling lightly.
“They’re all very....old fashioned and think that the company should be run a certain way,” he summarized. “I’m trying to do what my uncle dreamed of and push Vantae into an entirely new realm.”
“And you’ve done that and Vantae is really successful because of it,” Akira shrugged. “So, again. Why do they hate you?”
“They hate me because I was right,” Taehyung said as he stood up straight, finally done with taking all of the clothes out of his suitcase and he zipped it up, carrying it over to his closet and setting it inside. “They hate the fact that I always ignore them when it comes to their opinion of me working with certain people, with certain models, with designing certain pieces. They hate the fact that I’ve ignored them and it’s always worked out in my favor.”
“Huh,” Akira hummed as she processed everything that he had just told her. He walked over to the bed and climbed onto the mattress, pulling the pillow that Akira was hugging out of her arms and throwing it off to the side before replacing it with himself, snuggling into her arms.
“I’m sorry for throwing that all on you,” Taehyung apologized and Akira looked down at him as she set her hands in his hair. 
“No, don’t apologize. I actually understand what you’re saying.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah,” she nodded. A comfortable silence settled over them as Akira continued to sift her fingers through his hair while he laid against her, his breathing slowly evening out. 
“Taehyung?” She called and Taehyung grunted against her in response. “Are you falling asleep?” 
“Kind of,” he admitted and Akira smiled to herself.
“Ok, never mind then.”
“Did you have something that you wanted to say?” He asked and she sighed.
“More like ask.”
“Ok, I’m listening, I promise.”
“Did you mean what you told me before you left my mom’s house?” She questioned and he looked up at her, his brow raised.
“You mean when I said that I love you?” He asked and Akira nodded. “Of course I meant it. I wouldn’t have said it in the first place if I didn’t.”
“I know but it was spur of the moment and I kind of sprung it on you and I didn’t really mean to even say it at that moment and I-”
“Baby,” he said softly as he reached up and set his pointer finger on her lips. “I love you and I mean that.”
“I love you too,” she rushed out once Taehyung had taken his finger off of her lips, making him chuckle at her. “And I mean it too.”
“I’d hope so,” he joked, making her groan as she covered her face with her hands to hide her embarrassment. “Don’t hide from me,” he tsked as he sat up, sitting up on his knees as he pulled her hands down from her face.
“Stop teasing me then,” she shot back and Taehyung smiled. 
“I’m sorry pretty girl. Can I make it up to you?” He smirked and Akira’s breath caught in her throat as she nodded her head wordlessly. He leaned up, pressing his lips to hers gently. Her hands automatically tightened in his hair as he readjusted himself, slotting himself in the open space between her thighs.
“Kira, baby,” he murmured, his mouth leaving hers as he trailed kisses down over her cheek and down to her neck. “Tell me what you want and I’ll give it to you.”
“Want you,” she moaned softly as he sucked on her neck. “Please.”
“Is someone begging already?” She felt him smirk against her skin. “I haven’t even done anything yet baby.”
“Full disclosure: I’ve been perpetually horny ever since I sucked you off in your airplane bathroom,” Akira confessed and he lifted his head from her neck, smiling lightly.
“Oh really, Ms. ‘I did that because I wanted to and not because I was expecting something in return’?” 
“I wasn’t expecting anything in return!” She shot back with a huff as he went back to pressing kisses against her skin. “I really did just wanna suck your dick, sue me.”
“I’m teasing baby,” he chuckled. “But now I want to return the favor for you.” He whispered as he sat back on his heels. He grabbed the hem of the sweatshirt that Akira had on and she sat up as he pulled up and over her body. As soon as he threw it off to the side, his mouth was on her skin again, pressing kisses to her chest. He wasted no time in helping her unclip her bra and after she removed it, he took one of her nipples into his mouth.
“Ahh,” she whispered softly as he swirled his tongue around. He then moved over to her opposite nipple, giving it the same treatment. He then trailed kisses down her sternum, reaching down and grabbing the waistband of her sweatpants and pulling them down.
“Uh, underwear too,” she scolded lightly, making him laugh at her.
“And now you’re the one giving the orders?” He wondered.
“Not necessarily but this is about me right?” She simpered and he smirked lightly.
“That it is baby,” he nodded. He made quick work of taking of her panties off and he didn’t hesitate in coming face to face to her clit, wrapping his lips around it.
“Holy fuck,” Akira gasped, picking her head up and looking down to watch him.
“God, I’ve missed your pussy baby,” he muttered against her, swirling his tongue around her clit.
“Tae,” she whimpered.
“It’s been so long since I’ve tasted you and even longer since I’ve fucked you,” he whispered, almost to himself as he brought one of his hands up, slowly sliding a finger inside of her. 
“Oh my God,” she moaned, letting her head fall back against the pillows. 
“You gonna be good and let me fuck you baby?” He questioned and she nodded quickly.
“Yes.”
“I want to hear you say it,” he demanded softly and Akira lifted her head, opening her eyes and making eye contact with him.
“I’m gonna let you fuck you me,” she rushed out.
“However I want?”
“However you want Tae,” she acquiesced, making him smile widely.
“That’s what I like to hear baby,” he said, pressing one last kiss to her clit before taking his finger out of her and sitting up. Akira watched with bated breath as he pulled his shirt up and over his head, immediately moving on to his jeans and pushing them down along with his boxers. He then grabbed the base of his cock, taking time to rub the head along her folds.
“Tae, don’t tease me,” Akira whined. “Perpetually horny, remember?”
“I know baby, I know,” he chuckled. “I got you, don’t worry.” He then moved his hips forward, slowly pushing his cock inside of her.
“Fuck,” she gasped, her back arching up from the bed. 
“Hold on to me baby,” he instructed and she did as he said, reaching up and wrapping her arms around his neck. He reached underneath her and gripped her ass with his hands before beginning to pound into her, literally taking her breath away. 
“T-tae,” she whimpered, moaning loudly when he managed to hit her g-spot.
“Shit, Kira,” he muttered as he stuck his face in her neck, his tongue sneaking out and licking her skin before he sucked it into his mouth.
“Fuck, you’re gonna make me fucking come already,” she laughed breathily.
“I can feel it,” he huffed. He let out a low growl and Akira swore, she could’ve come just from that sound alone. 
“You’re so fucking deep, I can feel you in my stomach,” she moaned, throwing her head back in pleasure.
“Come on baby, come on my dick,” Taehyung encouraged her, pulling away from her neck to look down at her. 
“Fuck, oh my god fuck,” she whined and Taehyung groaned loudly as he felt her walls clamp around his dick as she came for him. Taehyung continued to slowly fuck her, being careful to not overstimulate her.
“You weren’t kidding about the ‘perpetually’ horny thing, huh?” He smiled teasingly and Akira rolled her eyes as she threw her hand over her eyes as she recovered from her orgasm. 
“Oh, fuck you,” she chuckled, making him smile.
“That’s not a very nice thing to say to the man you love baby.”
“The man I love lives to tease and make fun of me though,” she pointed out as she set her hands on the sides of his neck. “It’s what he deserves.”
“But he loves you right back though so that should make it alright,” he replied and she laughed as he leaned down and left open mouthed kisses to her neck.
“Are you gonna be this corny all the time now? Since we know we love each other?” She questioned and he nodded.
“Yep, I was just waiting for you to fall in love with me and now I have you trapped,” he grinned widely. 
“In that case, I take it back then.”
“You can’t do that.” 
“And why not?” 
“Because I have too many redeeming qualities that you appreciate,” he said as he began to thrust at a normal pace again, making her moan softly. 
“Which would be?”
“Well, I love you obviously. I treat you as my equal, I let you talk shit to me even though you’re the softest person I’ve ever met. Next to Jungkook of course,” he listed.
“I’m telling him that you said that,” Akira giggled.
“And most important, which is actually relevant right now, I fuck you really good,” he smirked, pushing deep into her to emphasize his point.
“I can’t argue with that,” she gasped as she reached down and set her hands on his thighs. “Fuck me Tae. Fuck me.”
“I will baby, I will,” he cooed, pressing a kiss to her forehead before speeding up the pace of his thrusts. Akira moaned loudly, the feeling of his cock inside of her and the sensitivity from her orgasm coupling together to have her eyes rolling into the back of her head.
“Oh, right there,” she whined. “Right fucking there.”
“I need you to come again for me,” he told her suddenly as he looked down at her.
“I don’t want to yet,” she whispered.
“You’re gonna have to because I’m gonna come soon,” he chuckled. 
“I don’t even know if I can,” she huffed. Taehyung then took one hand and cupped her jaw, squeezing lightly as she looked up at him. 
“You can because I’m gonna get you there, ok?” He said and she nodded. “You want me to make you come again baby?”
“Please,” she whispered.
“I need to hear it.”
“Please make me come Tae,” she pleaded softly and Taehyung smiled before angling his hips and pounding into her again.
“Come on pretty girl,” he goaded as he reached down and rubbed her clit for her. “Fucking come on me.”
“I-I’m close,” she stuttered, shutting her eyes and turning her head to the side before letting out a loud moan. Taehyung’s hips stuttered as he felt her coming, her body shaking as she squirted on his dick. 
“Where can I come baby?” He asked.
“My, my stomach,” she whispered and Taehyung nodded before pulling out of her and wrapping his hand around himself. He stroked his dick, shutting his eyes and moaning softly as ropes of his cum shot out and landed on Akira’s skin. Once he was done coming, he exhaled harshly and set his hands on Akira’s hips, using his thumbs to rub her skin softly.
“You still there pretty girl?” He wondered and she shook her head tiredly.
“The more we have sex, the more that I’m convinced that you’re trying to kill me,” she muttered and Taehyung laughed loudly.
“Not trying to kill you, just wanna make you feel good.”
“And you always do,” she nodded before extending her arms out towards him. “Come cuddle.”
“Let me clean you up first baby,” he said before moving over to his nightstand table, where he grabbed a few tissues from the box that he kept there. He used them to wipe his cum off of her stomach, throwing them into the trashcan next to his bed afterwards. 
“Now cuddle,” she demanded and he smiled before moving up towards her, pressing a kiss to her lips before leaning back to look at her.
“Love you,” he said.
“Love you too,” she replied with a sleepy smile and he laid down next to her, wrapping his arms around her body and laying his head on her chest. 
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Someone Alive, Part One
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How does it feel?
Falling. Castiel knew that falling was defined as a verb, to move downward, typically rapidly and freely without control, from a higher to a lower level. 
Touch. How does it feel? They were just words, concepts. He understood them as a functionality, just another thing that happens like the wind or the sunrise. They are not required to have a meaning, not everything does. 
Castiel was a man of faith, he had to be, but sometimes he still wondered. When he saw the leaves move with the breeze, a bird with its outstretched wings gliding through the sky, or the lapping waves of Lake Michigan against the harbor. 
What was cool, warm, sweet, soft, gentle, rough? How does it feel?
He wore sensible shoes, when it wasn’t necessary for him to wear shoes at all, but suddenly he was glad that he had them. He stared at the city, his toes hanging over the edge of the scaffolding. His arms extended like wings, his trench coat catching the wind and flapping wildly, but even then he didn’t have the answers. He only had a taste, a longing for the tug of gravity, for just a brush of something real. 
He didn’t know how it felt. He didn’t know how any of it felt, and all he could hear was the echo of a voice inside his head, “I need to be with someone alive.” What was a life anyway? It was all so meaningless, but as the sun rose in the distance, the shape of the buildings just a dark silhouette against the bleeding pink and orange sky, he heard the music. It was a song familiar, like a mother rocking her child to sleep, a hum deep in his soul, shaking him to his core. 
There was a majesty, a mystery to a plane of the world that he couldn’t reach out and grasp, that had no definition - like the song within the sunset. But some things don’t need to be defined. Perhaps it was better to leave the mystery, the vague idea of something more, or perhaps it wasn’t. 
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Before  
“Winchester what the fuck are you doing here? This is your off time, go be off,” Lieutenant Bobby Singer grouched as he walked out into the common area of the fire station. 
Dean sat with his feet up, reading the newspaper. He offered a huge smile to his Lieutenant. “I am off, see ?” 
“Don’t buy it for a second. Go home.” 
“Come on Bobby,” Dean whined. “Just let me hang around here, I’m not botherin’ anybody.” 
“You’re bothering me. Git.” 
“Yeah, yeah, whatever.” He placed his feet on the ground with a huff of complaint, and walked to his quarters to grab his bag. He hated going home, if he was being honest. It was lonely in his one bedroom loft, he preferred the loud, busy chatter of the fire station. He flopped down on his bed, his head resting on his pillow. He didn’t function well on breaks, it wasn't in his blood to stay still. The guys were always trying to get him to take a damn vacation, and he always told them that vacation wasn’t in his vocabulary. 
 There was a groan from the bunk above him, the bed springs sagging as his roommate shifted in his bed. “Brother, what’re you still doing here?” 
“Mind your own, Benny.” 
Benny chuckled and leaned over the edge. He smiled down at him sleepily through a full beard. “What’s your obsession with this place, anyway?”
“Don’t have any other friends.” 
“You don’t have any friends, brother,” Benny laughed, sitting all the way up with a stretch. “Fuck, I should probably get up and around, and you should go home. Really.” 
“Buzzkills, all of you.” 
“Go have sex with your pretty girlfriend, some of us would kill to have that to go home to.” 
“She ain’t home.” 
“Where is she?” 
“She’s a pharmaceutical rep, she travels a lot. She’s on the coast now, I think,” Dean said, almost sounding bored. He’d been with Lisa since graduating from college. When they were together, things were good, and when they were apart, there were no strings. It worked for them. Dean could burst into flames and know that she wasn’t waiting around for him, worrying. The perks of having no family was that he didn’t have to worry about his own safety. He could just focus on putting out fires and saving people. It’s all he’d ever wanted to do. 
Benny’s feet hung over the side of the bunk, his bare toes uncomfortably close to Dean’s face. “Then go have some phone sex or grab a beer. Get a hobby, because if Singer finds you in here he’s going to be pissed.” 
“Eh, he’s always pissed. It’s his default emotion.” The bed creaked as the heavy man above him hopped down, giving Dean a full shot of his hairy ass. “Aw Christ, Benny. Really ?” Dean groaned, covering his eyes. “God, I can’t unsee that.” 
“Kiss my ass, Winchester.” 
“Bend over and give me something to kiss then, princess.” 
“You wish.” He moved his fingers a bit to see if his friend was decent again, just to catch him shrugging into this shirt, his ass out of view again. 
“I told you I’m lonely, don’t tempt me,” he joked. 
The familiar sound of the alarm began beeping, lights flashing - alerting them that they were needed on site. 
“Yes!” Dean grinned, hopping up. “I knew I should stay.” 
Benny was shrugging into his pants and shoes. “No way, man. Singer will kill you if he sees you out on the job. You’re off duty.” 
“Not anymore! I’m not letting you take on the job without me.”
“Stubborn ass,” Benny mumbled, jogging out of the room and down the hallway. 
Dean followed him with a laugh, matching his pace. He patted Benny’s back and offered him a wide grin. “Don’t call me by my true name, can’t have the other guys knowing.” 
“Shut up,” Benny laughed, shaking his head. 
This was Dean’s favorite part. The anticipation before, wrapping his legs and hands around the cool metal, sliding down. He slid into his clothes perfectly in less than sixty seconds, pants, boots, suspenders, coat, SCBA, SCBA mask, hood, helmet, and gloves. He was fast, much faster than Benny who always stumbled around when it came to his boots, leaving Dean snickering inside of his mask. He slid into the truck. 
He’d wanted to be a firefighter his entire life. When he was a child, his mother died in a fire, trapped in the house. They couldn’t get to her and his father pulled him out, the flames licking at their ankles. The firemen let him sit in the truck, and he got to watch as they put out the flames. He watched as one man ran in, bravely pulling his mother from the second story window. She died of smoke damage at the hospital later that night, but Dean never forgot. His own father wasn’t brave enough to go after his Mom, but the stranger in the heavy gear did, without a second thought. 
Dean was four years old, and his future was suddenly laid out in front of him. He bought a fireman's hat from the dollar store with the money that he stole from his Dad’s wallet when he was passed out drunk. 
He was desperate to find the bravery that the men who tried to save his mom had. Even an ounce of it could’ve changed everything. So he went on every run that he could, he trained as hard as possible. He was a smartass, but he was damn good at his job. No one complained when they saw that Winchester had snuck onto the truck, again . 
Dean always said that he was gum stuck to the fire station’s shoe. They couldn’t get rid of him no matter how much they tried. They were stuck with him, and as much as they bitched, he knew that they were happy that he was there. Benny settled next to him, and Dean slapped his back approvingly. 
The rest of the crew consisted of three other firemen. Jo, the petite blonde who was good at squeezing into smaller spaces. She kept up with the boys just fine, meeting every one of Dean’s snarky comments with one of her own. The night that she hustled him in poker she gained his respect and all of the money in his wallet. Kevin the genius kid, who was so good at building structures that he often mapped out their entire entrance plan, making him invaluable to the team. Last but not least, Jack Kline rounded off the group. He was the youngest in the group, brand new and fresh out of fire science camp. He had graduated early, taking classes during his junior year, so there he was: twenty years old, not even old enough to drink, drowning in his gear. Dean was gladder than ever that he decided to stick around. They were going to need him. 
They arrived at the fire first, an apartment building was caught on fire. In the briefing Kevin explained that the fire seemed to be coming from one of the mid level apartments and was spreading upwards. Evidently the old building was extremely flammable, by the time they arrived the flames were licking out of the windows, black heavy smoke curling up into the sky. 
Dean clicked on his oxygen, itching to run right into the shit. He’d gotten a talking to more than once about zipping in without orders, but he always got the job done, saved the unsaveable, he didn’t make mistakes. So he continued to be reckless, because sometimes that was what needed to be done to save the most people. At least that’s what he told himself. 
The police had already sectioned off the building to keep the civilians away, the lower levels were already evacuated and Dean could see soot-covered individual’s being checked out by EMS. 
Kevin rolled out the schematics of the building to show the team. His mask was up so he could talk them through the plan, but Dean felt the itch, something deep inside of this gut that told him he needed to go right then. It was almost like a heavy hand on his shoulder, a tap telling him that it was time to run, that he didn’t have the time to stand around staring at maps. Maybe he did have a death wish, or maybe it was something else altogether, but regardless of the reasoning, he turned away from his team, saluting Benny, and running into the building. 
The lowest level of the building was filled with heavy smoke that seemed to have creeped through the vents and down the steps of the building. He quickly looked around to see if anyone was left behind, but the coast seemed clear. He jogged to the stairs, checking his weight on them before determining that there wasn’t enough damage to cause him any real difficulties. 
The higher he climbed, the harder it was to see. The next floor up was heavy with smoke, and he squinted through his mask. His adrenaline pumped through his veins, his heart pounding in his ears. There were people up there that needed to be saved, and it was Dean’s responsibility to get to them. 
“Hey, idiot! What do you think you’re doing?” Jo buzzed into his ear piece. 
He groaned. They’d recently updated their radios, and he still wasn’t used to hearing them essentially inside of his head. “Savin’ people. You know, the job,” he said back to her into his mic. “Rooms clear on the second floor.” 
“You’re fast, Winchester, I’ll give you that. Don’t go up any further without backup.” 
“What? You’re breaking up,” he said, making chhhh noises. 
“I’m going to break something on you! Stay where you are, I’m coming to you!” 
It was some kind of miracle that Dean hadn’t been fired already, no pun intended. He was garbage at directions, and he was always getting into sticky situations. Sticky situations that he always managed to get out of, and he supposed that was why he still had a job. 
He grumbled and awkwardly stood where he was, deciding that he should probably wait for Jo. It was the right thing to do. It would be shitty of him to leave her all alone in a major fire. At least that’s what he thought until he heard the sound of the building groaning above him. It was going to come down, that was obvious, he just didn’t know how fast. “Jo,” he said into the mic. “Don’t come up, it’s not stable.” 
“Come back down, Dean. We can go up through the window.” 
“Can’t, already this far,” he said, not intending to blatantly disobey her, but fuck he wasn’t going to walk out when there were still several floors left that he had yet to sweep. Before she could respond, a cry cut through the air, through the smoke, and through the thick material covering his ears, and he had no idea how he didn’t hear it before. “Fuck, there’s a kid up here. I’m going up.” 
“Dean!” 
If Jo said anything in addition, he didn’t hear her. He was too busy running. He climbed upwards, not bothering to test for weight, which was an amateur move. He was hyper focused on the sound of the child crying out. He would get to the kid, and get him or her out as quickly as possible. He would save the little one no matter what. When he reached the next level he finally saw the flames. The third floor was clearly the originating location of the fire. Flames licked out of the open doors and out into the hallway. 
Even after all the fires that he’d been a part of he still wasn’t used to breathing easy in the midst of all of the heavy smoke. He listened hard, waiting for another wail to tell him which direction he should be going in. He closed his eyes, trying desperately to think, to focus . He knew he could find the kid, and as if he summoned it himself, a cry erupted from his left. 
He turned sharply and approached the door. He tried to open it, but the knob wouldn’t turn. He quickly eyeballed the doorframe to get a good idea of its stability. He had no real reason to think that it’d crash down around him, so he backed up a bit, and kicked at the door as hard as he could. Kicking down a door wasn’t as easy as it looked on television and even after some practice it still took a few tries before he was able to break through. The door swung open and he immediately shielded his face as the fire reached out toward the oxygen in the hallway.
He pushed through into the apartment, and it was so much worse than he expected. The ceiling groaned angrily above him, threatening to collapse, and just about every surface was engulfed in flames. He couldn’t see shit, let alone a little kid. He went through the house, looking behind furniture and inside closets, but he wasn't getting anywhere. His stomach twisted, as he realized that he might never get to the kid. Not the way he was going. Jo was screaming in his ear, but he tuned her out. 
Dean knew that it only took a single second, a thought, a breath to change his world forever. So he pulled off his mask, and he shouted as loud as he could. “Where are you? I’m here to save you!” 
He squinted in the smoke. “I heard you crying!” Come on, damn it! It didn't take long for him to already start feeling lightheaded, and he thought that maybe he’d imagined the cry all along. “My name’s Dean,” he called out weakly, feeling like it was a sad attempt at putting the mystery child at ease, but something must have made a connection, because just as he opened his mouth to call out again he was met with a small squeak that sounded a lot like his name. 
“Dean?”
“Yeah, I’m here! Where are you?” He followed the soft sound of the child’s voice over the angry, roaring fire, trying his damndest to get to the kid before the roof came crashing down. “What’s your name?” 
“Charlie,” she said, poking her head out from behind the washing machine. 
Dean let out a sigh and smiled. “Hey Charlie, you’re safe now. M’ere.” He turned his head to speak into the microphone. “Jo, I found the kid. I’m gonna get her and head down.” 
“Good, you idiot! Which side of the building are you on? We are bringing the ladder to you. The building is unstable, and the Super says that he has a good headcount of the tenants. We think the building is clear.” 
“North side,” he grunted. “Heard.” 
He crouched down and offered the little girl with two red pigtails a big smile. She coughed in response, her pale, thin fingers tightly gripping a stuffed dragon. 
“Your chest hurt?”
She nodded lightly and he pulled his oxygen away from his helmet and offered it to her. 
“Breathe in, okay? Don’t be scared, I’ve got you.” 
Her pale cheeks were covered in soot along with her nightgown, and Dean had to wonder where her parents were. “Are you alone? 
She nodded quickly again and wiped her eyes with the back of her hand, spreading the soot. He stood up, backing out of the small opening so she could get out. “Let’s get out of here. It’s too hot for my taste, what about you?” He offered her a hand, and she nodded up at him, reaching out her own hand.
It happened so fast. It was another moment, a split second rift in the space-time continuum that would change his life forever. Her fingers didn’t even brush his before a loud crack erupted through the apartment. Charlie recoiled into herself, pulling her arm back into the gap next to the washer, directly under a shelf. He reached back for her, feeling like he was moving in slow motion against the pulse of the flames and the haze of heat radiating through the air. 
Dean wasn’t even able to suck in his breath before the ceiling collapsed. The support beam above them holding everything together broke right between them, crashing into the floor with so much force that it busted a hole right through the already-burning floor. Ash, flames, and smoke littered his vision and he had to blink it all away, narrowing his eyes to focus. 
He was on the ground, the falling debris having landed directly on him, and he was fucking glad that he had kept his helmet on. He couldn’t move. He was trapped. The adrenaline pumping through him made sure that he was numb from his shoulder down to his fingers. That can’t be good . He tugged gently and a white hot pain shot up his arm into his shoulder, which surprisingly felt like a good sign. He knew that at least his arm was still under there somewhere. His eyes scanned the tube going from his oxygen tank that had been connecting him and Charlie together. It was pinned underneath the rubble. “Charlie! Hey! Kid, can you hear me?” 
He coughed, his chest burning. He’d been in here too damn long. Heat licked at his cheeks and every breath was hard labor. He pulled on his arm again, feeling the true weight of the beam against his likely-broken bones. The impact fucked up his radio, and all he heard was static where Jo’s voice used to be. He never thought he’d miss the sound of her nagging, but it was all about perspective, he reckoned. 
The weight of the smoke was heavy on his tired lungs and his arm cried out in pain. All of those moments that he was told to slow down felt just a little more justified to him now. “Charlie.” His voice was weaker, his vision blurring as he tried to see her in the rubble. 
He always assumed that he would die trying to be a hero, although most would probably say that he’d die doing something pigheaded. He figured this was as good of a compromise as any. 
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It came like a ping, and Castiel knew where to go. Death was a part of life, and it was his job to help the wary souls pass through the gate into heaven. He often approached the situation with eager anticipation, and when little Charlie Bradbury’s face flashed in front of his eyes, the ache in his chest that was always there pressed a little more insistently. 
He could move with a single thought. It was not like most people assumed, there were no large fantastical wings, adorned with thousands of golden feathers. He instinctively reached back behind him, grasping for the place where his wings would’ve been. Compared to what people expected, his travel was lackluster at best, but it was effective nonetheless. 
The apartment was on fire, blazing angrily around him. By the look of things, it had to be hot, painfully so, but he couldn’t feel the heat on his face, and there was no risk of danger to him as his eyes scanned for Charlie. 
His eyes were made to locate lost souls, which glowed radiantly, even as they still lingered inside of their bodies. It wasn’t difficult to locate her once he adjusted his perception. She was lodged underneath collapsed ceiling materials, gasping for breath. A piece of wood had pierced her chest, and she was still trying to breathe into her oxygen mask. The tube ran underneath the rubble and connected to a man. Castiel hadn’t noticed him previously. 
He stepped over the collapsed ceiling and crouched next to him, he had to wait for Charlie to disconnect, anyway, so Castiel had a little time. He was a fireman, still completely in his gear apart from his mask that was given to the little girl. His face was covered in soot, but even through the black, Castiel could see that his cheekbones were dusted with freckles. The fireman’s full lips were open, his breaths weak and labored. It wasn’t his time, Castiel knew, but his arm was trapped below the fallen beam. He looked like he’d given up. 
He wasn’t granted the ability to perform miracles, but there was still something that he could do. There was always something. Castiel reached out his hand and pressed his open palm to the man’s chest. Dean Winchester . The name rushed into his mind in an instant, and Castiel focused on his own grace, willing Dean to breathe in deeply, for his lungs to repel the smoke long enough for him to get to safety. He focused his strength on giving Dean the will to live. Sometimes that was enough. 
The fireman’s eyes shot open as he sucked in a deep, easy breath. He coughed a few times, spitting up black saliva, and then Dean looked at him. His face was a breath away from Castiel’s, his green eyes were alert and Castiel wished that he could see his own reflection in them. He knew that if he had the need to breathe, that Dean would’ve taken his breath away. He opened his mouth as if to speak, to ask Dean if he could see him, but Dean’s eyes flickered away, and he pulled on his arm again. 
The arm was stuck, Castiel saw that it was too much for him to pull himself free. He knew that he shouldn’t, but he couldn’t shake that look that Dean had given him. He stood up to full height and reached down, pulling up the beam just enough for Dean to pull his arm free. Dean winced, and laughed breathlessly. “Thank you,” he whispered. 
You’re welcome, Castiel thought, not trusting his own voice. 
Dean’s arm was twisted wrong, blood staining his rig, but despite the pain that he had to be in, he hurried to his feet and began to call out. “Charlie, hey kid! Can you hear me?” 
Castiel closed his eyes for just a second at the realization that Dean was in the fire to save her. He was trying to save someone that could not be saved. There was a rustling, and Castiel opened his eyes to see Dean throwing pieces of rubble away, exposing the little girl lying on her back gasping for breath. It was too late, it would’ve always been too late. 
“No, no, no!” Dean fell back to his knees, moving the useless mask away from her bluing lips. He put his ear next to her mouth looking for breathing signs, and his fingers pressed to her throat searching for a pulse. 
Castiel had been an observer in many tragedies, and he’d seen the way people react to situations of dire emergency, but what he saw Dean do surprised him, and he hadn’t been aware that he could still be surprised. 
Dean took his broken arm, pressing his palm against her sternum with a wince, and he pressed his other palm over the bottom one, lacing his fingers. He was counting, low, his voice full of pain as he pressed down on her chest, trying to get her heart to start back up. Tears streamed down his cheeks. “Live , damn it!” 
Something was stirring inside of Castiel, something that he didn’t know was possible, something that he didn’t yet have a name for. 
“You ain’t taking her. You hear me?” A pair of green eyes met Castiel’s again, causing him to still completely. Dean was looking at him, like he was a man. “Not today! Not on my watch!” 
Dean looked wary as he turned his face back down to Charlie, still pushing with all that he could, but the fire was still intense and rising around him. Castiel frowned, knowing that she was a lost cause, but not knowing how to communicate that to the stubborn man fighting in front of him. 
Castiel was fixed on the movement of Dean’s body as he attempted to pump life back into Charlie when he noticed a small tug at his trench coat. He glanced down to find Charlie Bradbury standing next to him in her pajamas, her skin and clothes clean. She glowed brightly as she blinked at Castiel confused. “Who are you?”
“My name is Castiel,” he said, crouching down at her level. He offered his hand out to her, and she stared at it suspiciously. He smiled at her. People often thought that children were far too trusting, but he found that their honesty made them trusting of only those who deserved it. “Come with me.” 
“Where are we going?”
“Home,” he said simply and as their fingers brushed he sent a rush of calm through her. She exhaled in response, her eyes fluttering shut. 
There was a crash, a breaking of glass in the other room. “Dean,” someone called out. It was a female voice. Dean called out something that Castiel wasn’t sure was even English, sending the female firefighter bursting through the flames in his direction. “We have to go, idiot.” She stopped, her eyes settling on Dean and Charlie’s lifeless body. She shook her head. “Oh Dean, come on, we have to go. How long has she been down?”
“I can get her, I can…” 
“Come on, let me help.” She crouched down, putting her arm under Charlies neck, holding her. 
His shoulders slumped. He stopped pressing against her chest. “No, I’ll take her,” Dean said, defeat in his voice. He slid his broken arm under Charlie’s body, protectively holding her against his chest. 
The woman offered him a fire resistant blanket to wrap around the little girl’s frail, limp form, and she led Dean to the window. 
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“Mister Castiel?” Charlie asked, looking up at him.
He blinked a few times, not realizing how long he’d been staring. “Yes, little one?”
“Is Grandpa there?” 
He nodded quickly. “Yes, he is waiting.” 
“Let’s go,” she said, her eyes bright with excitement. 
So Castiel gripped her hand a little tighter, feeling the need to keep her close to him after watching Dean try so hard to fight for her, try just to fail. It was so beautifully human. He turned, seeing the white glowing light of the door to Heaven swinging open for them, and they walked easily over the rubble and through the fire, into the next life. 
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“But Lieutenant!” 
“But nothin’ ya idjit!” Singer shouted back. 
Dean sat in his office, his face down turned in embarrassment. He had climbed down the ladder, holding Charlie in his arms, and delivered her lifeless body to her weeping mother. His arm was twisted all to hell, and he was going to have to be in a cast for at least two weeks to fix it. He had other burns and serious smoke damage, but more than anything his ass was getting skinned by his boss. “I was tryin’...” 
“I don’t give a shit, Winchester,” Singer sighed, scratching his beard. “Listen, son, I know what you were trying to do. The fact is that you ignored my direct orders and went on the run, and then you ignored more and got yourself hurt.” 
And I didn’t even save her. He wanted to scream, break his fucking arm again. “So what?”
He shook his head, leaning across the chest. “You’re suspended until I get a call from your doc sayin’ that you’re permitted to come back. So go home, rest, and get your fucking life together.” He waved his hand, dismissing Dean. 
Dean knew that he was being let off easy, and maybe it was the fact that Lieutenant Bobby Singer had a soft spot for him, or maybe it was the fact that Dean almost killed himself trying to save a seven year old girl that he couldn’t save. 
He couldn’t save her, but the girl's mother still hugged him tightly and cried. He was invited to the funeral, and if he was being honest, it all seemed like way too fucking much. But he was a glutton for punishment, so he knew that he wouldn’t miss it for anything. 
He stood up and walked out of the office, and went straight to his bunk to grab the rest of his stuff. He’d already moved a few things, expecting nothing less than a suspension. Singer was chomping at the bit to get him to take some time off, so the required time off was a good compromise. 
He adjusted the sling on his arm, the strap rubbing against his neck. He grabbed his clothes, shoving them haphazardly into his duffle bag. Jo leaned against the doorframe of his quarters. “Got the boot?” 
Dean snorted and glanced at her. “Singer doesn’t want to see my face until my doc says I’m healed.” He waved his bad arm with a wince. 
“I’ll miss your face around here, Dean, but if you keep at it you’ll end up getting yourself killed. Maybe a little vacation will be good for you.” 
“Smug doesn’t suit you, Harvelle,” Dean grumbled. 
“Everything suits me,” she said dismissively. 
He zipped up his duffel with his one arm with some difficulty and a grunt. He picked it up and swung it over his uninjured shoulder. “You seen Sam anywhere?” 
“Benny drove him home when you were getting patched up.” 
“Great.” Dean let out a heavy sigh. “You don’t need help with anything before I go, do you?” 
“Nu uh, Winchester,” Jo said, walking towards him and taking his arm. “I am not going to help you disobey orders. Get the fuck out.” She dragged him out to the front of the firehouse. “I’ll see you later, okay? I got you a Netflix subscription. I texted you the login details.”  
Dean stumbled out into the street, the clouds hanging overhead, blocking out the sun. He grimaced at the sky, feeling like the weather was a little too on the nose with how he was feeling. He made his way to the Loop and found one of the only seats away from other people, his bag resting on his lap. He stared out the window, watching Chicago zip past him in a blur. 
He’d lived in the same old Brownstone his entire life. They’d redone the inside of the house after the fire, so the inside was different but still the same. When he looked really closely, he could still see the scorch marks under the paint on the ceiling in their bedroom. He used it as his office now, but he was rarely there, keeping the door shut at almost all times. 
Dean’s father had disappeared into the night. It was the typical cliche, he went out for cigarettes and never came back. He’d had a revolving door of family members watching over him and the apartment until he turned eighteen two years later. It was already paid for, his grandfather Henry having purchased it with the little money he had coming home from the war when he was young. Dean couldn’t give it up, no matter how much he hated being there, no matter how much his old bedroom kept him from sleeping.
He hopped off the Loop a few blocks away from his place and enjoyed the fresh air, because he knew that the next few weeks would be suffocating. He could already feel the pressure on his chest, constricting his lungs. He unlocked the front door, taking one last deep breath before he crossed the threshold. 
“Sam,” he called out, tossing his duffel bag on the couch. “They suspended me! That’s some bullshit, right?” 
He walked to the fridge and swung it open, grinning wide as soon as he saw that Benny had stocked it full of beer. He pulled one out, struggling with the bottle opener with only one good hand. “Everyone is pissed that I went in against orders. I was just tryin’ to save her, and maybe if I’d got there sooner…” He finally got the cap off, letting out a heavy sigh. He took a swig of his beer and leaned against the counter. “Sammy, you listening to me? Are you mad at me too? Sam?” 
Dean heard the footsteps before he saw him. He turned and crouched down to catch his massive chocolate lab in his good arm. He wrapped it around the dog's neck, scratching behind his ears. “Aw, Sammy I knew you couldn’t stay mad at me.” He laughed as Sam licked his cheek. 
He was never a dog person before he got Sam, but on one of the first house fires that he worked, he’d seen this little puppy in the corner, howling and whimpering. He couldn’t just leave the poor thing there to burn, so he carried him out of the burning building and fell in love with the little guy. It wasn’t often that dogs were allowed in firehouses anymore, but the entire team loved Sammy. He was quiet and well behaved, and when Dean went home he took Sam with him. He liked to joke that Sam was the only other living being that he could live with permanently since everyone else drove him stir-crazy. Sammy was happy to see him no matter what he did, and he didn’t give him that disappointed look that everyone else seemed to have. 
“Just me and you for a few weeks, buddy,” Dean murmured, scratching behind his ear, already feeling the quiet from his apartment creep around him like smoke, like a curse. 
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Castiel stood on top of Willis Tower, overlooking Chicago as it transitioned from day to night. All the flights flickered in, illuminating the thousands, millions of angels standing around the city on street corners, ledges of buildings, lamp posts, vehicles… everywhere the air touched was also touched by an angel. They were the soldiers, the messengers of god. 
There was a sound of flapping, for just a moment, as if Hannah was taking land as she appeared next to Castiel with only a thought, a breath. She wore a simple suit, much like Castiel’s own. Her hair was plain brown, simple, but she was pretty in her own regard. She was his very best friend, if angels had such a thing. 
“Castiel,” Hannah said pleasantly, lowering herself to a seated position so her legs hung off the edge of the building. He followed suit, sitting next to her. 
They did this every day, sitting on the edge of the buildings and watching the sun disappear over the horizon. They sat, talked, and when the last rays of sun touched the earth they were quiet. 
“I escorted a little girl today,” he said, squinting at the buildings, his hands clasped in his lap. 
“What was her favorite part?” Hannah asked. She could seem disinterested, but for most of Castiel’s brothers and sisters it was just easier that way. Angels were not known to have the capacity to feel, so most didn’t bother to fake it. 
For Castiel, though, it was different. His curiosity with humanity often pushed him to the edge of what was expected of him. He’d always been a bit of a black sheep. 
He reached into his trench coat and pulled out a small notebook. He licked his index finger to catch a page, turning it easily. Hannah gave him a look, like she didn’t quite understand, but she was quiet nonetheless. “Her favorite part of being human,” Castiel said lightly, with a smile, “was the marshmallows in her morning Lucky Charms.” 
“Sugar,” Hannah said with a knowing nod. “Not quite insightful.” 
It wasn’t, but he still wondered. How did it taste ? He tried to close his eyes sometimes and imagine it, just for a moment. He tried to imagine what one of those tiny morsels would feel like on his tongue, melting away, but no matter how much he tried, he couldn’t grasp onto it. Most days, those thoughts left him more hollow than ever, the emptiness whistling through him like through a chip in a glass. 
“She asked if she could become an angel,” he said quietly. 
“Did you tell her the truth?” 
“I didn’t want to upset her.” 
“Castiel, she can’t be an angel.” She reached for the hand of her friend and patted it gently. “We were never human.” 
“I know.” Castiel let out a heavy sigh. 
“What did you tell her?”
“The truth, but I did offer to make her wings out of paper.” He turned to Hannah, offering her a wide grin. 
“And what did she say about that?” 
“She said, what good would wings be if you couldn't feel the wind on your face?” His voice was solemn, quiet, catching the breeze and floating away with it. He reached his hand out for the breeze, trying desperately to feel something, anything . “Do you ever wonder what that would be like?”
“What are you asking?”
“Touch… do you ever wonder what it would be like to feel ?”
She pressed her lips together in a tight line, in a thought, a consideration. Her eyes were focused elsewhere, out into the distance, and when she opened her mouth to speak, he’d never heard her so hesitant, so unsure. It wasn’t in their nature. “No.” 
He could feel the corners of his mouth tug up into a smile. “Did you just lie to me?”
Her eyes flickered to his, and she pursed her lips. “Of course not. It’s pointless to wonder about things that you’ll never experience. It is a waste of time. You should stop this nonsense, Castiel, it may get you in trouble one day.” 
He knew that, of course he did, but he couldn’t stop, not until the questions that plagued him had answers, and another one had been drilling into his mind since the moment he saw Dean Winchester’s magical green eyes lock with his in the midst of that fire. “Hannah, have you ever been seen?”
“My, you are inquisitive today.” She laughed to herself, a small exhale out of her nose, before her dark eyes flickered to his blue ones. “Of course not, Castiel. Humans can’t see us, not unless we want them to.” 
“When I went to get the little girl today… there was this fireman, and I could’ve sworn that he looked right at me.” 
“He wasn’t looking at you.” 
Castiel swallowed hard, because he knew that she was right. Dean wasn’t looking at him, he was looking directly into him, past the outer layers and into his soul. 
Hannah must’ve noticed his hesitation, because she leaned in closer to him. “You didn’t let him see you, did you, Castiel?” 
Did he? He shook his head. “No. He didn’t… comment on what he saw, but he seemed like he was looking at me.” 
“Your head is in the clouds,” she said fondly, turning her face back out to the sparkling lights from the city. 
That was him, Castiel, the angel with his head in the clouds, but was that so unreasonable? To him, it seemed like a logical place for an angel’s head to be. The time for talk, questions, and judgement was over, because the sun had finally dipped below the horizon, emitting a beautiful hum almost like the first note on a violin. Even though he didn’t know God personally, his purpose, or why he couldn’t get those green eyes out of his mind, at least he had the song in the sunset, because when he heard it, feeling it rush through him into his bones, he had all the answers that he needed. That song gave him faith. That song helped him see God. 
But that day, in that exact moment, the song sounded different… It sounded like Dean. 
  -------------------------
Part Two
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stereksecretsanta · 5 years
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Merry Christmas, @everchanginginks!
AN: My very first Sterek fic and my first published proper fanfic in like four years! Very exciting. This is a Sterek Secret Santa 2k18 gift for the incomparable everchanginginks, so I hope I have done everything she could ever want in this.
Within: Fluff, There Was Only One Bed, friends to lovers, and magic!Stiles, which is 4/5 of the prompts I was given! If I had 10k to work with I could have encompassed the fifth of enemies to lovers, but we do what we can. I'm already WELL OVER the 5k limit I am so sorry SSS it just happened like that orz
Read on AO3
******
Wędrowiec
Hey -SS
Hey -SS
Hey -SS
What -DH
What’s your address. The loft. -SS
Why do you need it -DH
Well I can’t just ask the postal service “hey what zip code are Derek Hale’s eyebrows” -SS
I mean I could but it wouldn’t get me anywhere -SS
Why do you need it -DH
I’m going to be in Michigan for Christmas so I can’t be there on the 25th to give you your present so I wanted to send it to you, if you must know -SS
You don’t have to get me anything -DH
Well you embarrassed me by getting me a way-too-nice present last year so yeah I actually kind of do. We have spending limits for a reason!!!!!!!!!!!!! -SS
That wasn’t a Christmas gift, and your laptop was nearing meltdown. We need you technologically capable to keep the packs safe and up to date. It was a necessity. It just happened to be around Christmas -DH
My Christmas gift was within the spending limits. That was the laptop case. -DH
Why are you going to Michigan? -DH
My mom’s family wants to see us again, apparently they’ve gotten over the spat happened between my uncles and my dad and they want us all together -SS
Really I think it’s because they figure it’s my grandfather’s last Christmas so they want us to pretend that everything’s fine for his sake -SS
I’m sorry to hear that -DH
Oh I don’t really give a fuck it’s just free food and free gossip about my cousins as far as I’m concerned -SS
I’ll just be bored to tears because they don’t have any fuckin technology. Just a frozen ass lake and a frozen ass town in a frozen ass state. How do they survive in a house with NO WIFI?!??!?!! -SS
Guess you’ll just have to die, then -DH
The typing indicator went up for a few seconds before a full half a minute’s pause, then Derek’s ringtone played as Stiles was now calling him. It was Derek’s preferred method of communication anyway, tone was completely lacking over text and he kind of needed some sort of cue to figure out what people meant.
“That was a fffucking meme you’re so full of shit when you pretend not to know what I’m talking about!!!” Stiles was trying to sound some form of mad, but there was way too much of a smile in his voice. “So full of shit. Fuck you.” Stiles’ verbiage towards Derek had gotten crasser and somehow even more confrontational since he’d gone off to college, but paradoxically more affectionate.
“Mhmm.” Derek didn’t give him much to go off of, but figured that Stiles had something else to talk about with him rather than just to whine about his alleged meme knowledge. Honestly, he’d just heard Isaac say it once and it garnered a positive reaction from others, so he filed it away for later use.
That wasn’t exactly what Stiles was hoping for, but he wasn’t going to let something as trivial as Derek’s resistance to banter stop him from talking. “So what are your plans for Christmas?” He still hadn’t gotten that address out of him, but if Derek had plans to be somewhere, he wanted to find out what.
“Nothing.”
Stiles stopped in his pace around his room, “Wait, nothing? What about Cora ‘n Erica ‘n Boyd ‘n Isaac ‘n Scott?” he listed off the people Derek was close enough to be around without too much annoyance in either direction.
“Cora’s down in Peru with her old pack, she’s pretty excited for their plans there, and it didn’t come with an invite, I figured I’d let her be. It’s…” He trailed off, grateful that Stiles held his tongue so he could find his words. “We’re siblings, but those six years of thinking the other dead and her pack being hundreds of miles away, we’re just not that close. I’ll call her on Christmas and I’ve sent her a couple things, it’s enough. Boyd and Erica are visiting Boyd’s grandmother in South Carolina, since his mom got a nice Christmas bonus in her paycheck.”
“Christmas bonus, huh.” Stiles’ tone was completely not buying the story.
“Christmas bonus.” Derek reaffirmed, not addressing Stiles’ suspicions in the least. It’s not that he was wrong, but Boyd was the hardest to convince to accept his financial support, so he had to resort to more sneaky measures to help him out. “And Scott and Isaac are with Ms. McCall.”
“Which also didn’t come with an invite.” Stiles filled the blank for him. It prickled at him that everyone just forgot Derek, even the ones staying in the area. “Hell, man, if I knew you got fucked over like that I’d have stayed, screw the free food ‘n everything, but we already said we’d go. I could have made you watch all of the Christmas movies that you missed out on living under a rock. And my famous hot chocolate.”
“Your famous hot chocolate, which is powdered hot chocolate mix made with whole milk, a Lindt truffle at the bottom, and a half a can of whipped cream?”
Stiles glared at the phone like the screen had personally insulted him, his ancestors, and the entirety of the Power Rangers all in one sentence. “Who told you.”
Derek was smiling despite the topic being how alone he was on the holiday. “Lydia warned me of the sugarbomb.”
“Traitor.” Stiles had an idea in his head. “Hey…..I’m gonna be bored as hell over in Michigan, and it won’t be much fun without technology, you wanna come with? You can convince them that I actually have friends and you won’t be listening to the pipes clanging in that loft all by yourself.”
“I couldn’t impose on-“
“Fuck that, they’re my family and they barely like me anyway, they’ll love you and that way I’ll at least have someone I can talk to aside from my dad, who’ll probably be bickering with my uncles, and my grandfather, who mostly speaks Polish and is about as social as a wombat.”
Derek squinted at the simile. He had to ask, even if it was stupid. “How social are wombats, exactly?”
“Hell if I know.”
Derek thought for a moment. It wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world to at least have somewhere to go instead of staring at empty walls. “Check with them if they’re alright with you bringing someone you want to kill half the time, and if they say yes, I’ll pay my way and get a hotel.”
“No, no no, you’re staying in the house. They have a pretty big house, they got it decades and decades ago and it’s right on the lake, it’s really nice. I haven’t been there since I was…” Stiles counted on his fingers for a few seconds before giving up and ballparking it. “…Like twelve but yeah. I’ll tell ‘em I’m bringing a friend, I’m sure they’ll be fine with it. Should be grateful my fine ass will even be showing up at all.”
Derek rolled his eyes only part of the way. “See what they say, but don’t push. I won’t die if I’m on my own for Christmas.”
“Yeah but I might if I’m bored for too long out there.”
“I guess harassing me is entertainment.” He could concede that as Stiles’ motivation, it was easier than accepting a invitation offered out of guilt to bother his family by intruding on their Christmas
“Ever since I trespassed on your property, it’s been my favorite pastime.”
“Talk to you later, Stiles.” Derek wanted the conversation over before Stiles got too wrapped up in the parley and didn’t start asking, which was a basic courtesy before bringing someone they didn’t even know all the way there to stay in their house and eat their food and intrude on their family Christmas. He didn’t have high hopes, but even just the offer was enough to make him feel a little less alone.
*~*
Stiles was still blinking in shock at being awake at the ungodly hour that he was awake at, sitting in San Francisco Airport, when his father put a coffee in his hand. John was making something that was as close to small talk as Derek could get as they waited for the plane at the gate. How the both of them could stand to be so conscious before 7am was beyond him. How dare they. Didn’t they know that 5:55 am was a fake time of day and that being awoken at 3 in the morning was tantamount to a Geneva convention violation?!?
“Nhghhhgngh.” Stiles mumbled in response, shaking hands lifting the cup to his face and putting all of his faith in muscle memory to navigate the rest of it. It worked well enough, liquid went down the right tube and not down his shirt.
“C’mon, get that down so you can cram Dramamine in your face and when you wake up we’ll be in O’Hare.” John’s tone of voice was surprisingly warm and sincere despite a sentence which could easily be condescending. Maybe it was the whole Christmas spirit getting through to him, or maybe it was that Stiles was way too groggy to backsass him at this hour of the day and he was enjoying it as much as he could.
They got Stiles upright enough to get him on the plane and negotiated seating, Derek wanted on the aisle for easy escape from a compacted tube full of a ton of people and noise and smells and recycled air, which John couldn’t fault him for, and given that Stiles was going to be unconscious shortly, it was better he was on the window, so Stiles was next to Derek on the two seat side and John across the aisle from them.
Derek figured Stiles would just curl up on the window and fall asleep and he could read on his tablet in peace, so it was a mild surprise that Stiles, buckled in and half gone already, leaned on his shoulder and nuzzled in, breathing steadied and as comfortable as anything.
John leaned over to check on his son, and though wildly perplexed, he leaned back and decided that as long as Derek wasn’t strangling his kid for touching him, it was fine by him.
*~*
The arrival to Gerald Ford Airport in Michigan was, to say the least, a wakeup call for the youngest of the trio’d travelers.
“Jesus fucking Christ, oh my god, why is it so cold?” He asked as the pilot announced that the temperature in Grand Rapids was a balmy twenty-five with flurries all day. Barbaric.
“Stiles, you know it’s gonna be like, ten degrees and windstorms in Michigan the whole week, right?” Derek’s eyebrow rose at the double hoodies and vest Stiles was sporting, that Stiles had not taken out anything warmer from his luggage. That wouldn’t be nearly enough for wind straight from Canada’s frozen wastelands. Derek had done his research into where he’d be heading before packing his luggage, you know, like an adult.
“This is what I got!” Stiles shrugged, a California native that did his schooling in D.C. and Virginia, where neither place got REAL snow on the regular.
“Well, as it turns out, I expected as much.” Derek pulled out his carry-on duffle and extracted three coats, one light brown, one navy, and one black. He handed the brown to John in the middle of their row, and the navy across to Stiles. “Figured you guys wouldn’t have remembered how cold it gets in real northern places.” He said as he shrugged the black coat on himself, a slave to aesthetics.
“Hell, Derek, you didn’t have to…“ John did have a halfway warm enough coat, it wasn’t- oh, it was actually pretty nice. “How much was this?” He’d be really weirded out if Derek was dropping stacks on him and his son, he was already confused at the gift of a laptop the previous year, it’s not like he couldn’t afford a laptop for his son. He couldn’t have afforded the one Derek got him, but he didn’t want to be upstaged in taking care of Stiles. The other kids could take advantage of Derek’s money all they wanted, but the Stilinskis had pride. They didn’t accept charity from rich boy werewolves.
“Not nearly enough for either of you to worry about it.” Derek said, sliding his sunglasses on and leaning back, not interested in carrying on the conversation any longer.
John, unable to turn down the gift but weirded out by Derek both anticipating this need at all, actually going to the trouble to getting these, and sacrificing space in his carry on to bring them on the plane all for this specific scene along with buying him gifts, pulled it on all the same. What a fucking drama queen. “Thanks, Derek.”
Stiles had rolled his eyes at yet another extravagant present from Derek that was way too much to accept but he was trapped by it, since he did desperately need it and couldn’t say no. Well, he’d saved Derek from being the saddest bastard in all of California on Christmas, so maybe this was recompense. “It’s not like I can’t warm myself up.” He grumbled. Heat spells were elementary on the roster of the things any spark worth his salt would know. And Stiles was the saltiest of all.
“Yeah, Stiles, go ahead and slightly set yourself on fire through the whole week.” Derek’s deadpan delivery could easily be mistaken for sincerity, which did well enough to disguise the fact that he was actually really impressed that Stiles had been getting far enough with his magic to do some interesting and sometimes even useful things. “You’ll be our Yule Log. Very seasonal self-immolation.”
John expected Stiles to look pissed at that level of smack-talk, but Stiles looked oddly gratified by the response, like getting Derek to make fun of him was his goal all along.
“Such a good alpha provider, takes such good care of us. Thaaaank you Dereeeek.”
There might have been just a twitch of a smile at the corner of Derek’s mouth, but it could have just been a trick of the lights as cabin prepared for landing.
*~*
Stiles was giving Derek a rundown of the family members he’d have to keep straight while there, cousins and uncles and aunts and people that were peripheral to the family but close enough to be considered part of the group, the bits and pieces of them that he’d pulled together. He hadn’t seen them in a decade, so much of what he knew was informed by Facebook posts and a few Instagram bits that let him know who was who and look at least a little less like he didn’t remember jack shit about his cousins. Which he did, just they were also around 8-14 so it’s been a while, alright? Some of ‘em had gone to college, some of ‘em got jobs, hell, one of ‘em was married with a kid. Wild.
“Shortlist of the important family to know: Nelia, grandpa’s wife. My grandmother died a few years after my mom, but Nelia’s a pretty nice woman, she’s got a really thick accent so if you don’t understand what she’s saying you can ask one of us to translate, we all speak Polish to some degree.”
“I don’t.” John added, at the driver’s seat of the rented car. Derek would rent a car in town, they figured that arriving together would be easier, and then no one was alone for the ride from the airport to the family house.
“Well, Dad doesn’t, but there you go, you and him can be awkward together when we talk shit about you guys, it’ll be great.” Stiles was in the passenger seat, texting people at lightning speed about how this was going to be the most hilarious week of his life and it was all because Derek was going to have to be exposed to a TRADITIONAL FAMILY CHRISTMAS. Did you pack Benadryl? -ER
Why? -SS
For when he breaks out in hives from people expressing genuine emotion around him -ER
“Then there’s Grandpa, I call him the Polish term for it, Dziadek, you’re probably best off with Mr. Gajos. I think I’ve heard a grand total of ten words out of him my whole life, so you don’t have to worry much about him.”
Derek’s eyes were fixed on something in the distance, and casually added, “He’s who you’re named after, right?”
Stiles went stiff and turned around to look at Derek. “Who told you.” Much less humorous than the previous inquisition about the hot chocolate, he seemed properly displeased about it.
Derek only mildly smiled and made no other answer. Stiles made an aggravated noise but wasn’t going to try and interrogate Derek. He continued his familial explanation but sounded much more irritated at everyone in it. “Then there are my cousins, there are a bunch and some new ones I’ve never met, but you pretty much only have to know Nika, who’s two years older than me. She’s the only one that sort of kept in touch and therefore the only one I care about. The uncles are …well you don’t care, and I bet they won’t mess with you much. Now, the whole drama with them, Dad, if you wanna take the lead on explaining why we haven’t talked to ‘em in over a decade.”
John gave Stiles a meaningful glance, but didn’t explain it. “Well, after Claudia died, I had a hard time of it for a while. They thought that I should have handled her, and Stiles, differently than I did.” Derek realized the glance was begging Stiles not to ask John to air his most closely guarded shames right in front of Derek, who signed up for a little getaway and not to hear all their most private secrets.
“They were firm believers that ADHD was cured by beatings and were annoyed that I was a bit of a holy terror.” Stiles translated.
John grimaced a little. “They wanted to take Stiles in, raise him properly. I admit I wasn’t perfect. They weren’t right to say it, but I understand why they did.”
Derek could connect the dots laid out before him. They saw John as a useless drunk and Stiles as a neglected brat and thought they could do better. “So now you’re talking again?” He asked, desperate to save John from further agonies.
“Enough that they didn’t threaten to play family politics chess and try to make Stiles’ grandparents chose which children they liked better this year.”
“We did alright on our own.” Stiles declared with a defiant smile, clearly not about to entertain the notion of understanding their position whatsoever.
It was hard for Derek to wrap his head around a family fracturing so easily like that, Hale lines ran so deep that even someone as gone as Peter could find his way back in Derek’s heart if he worked for it. To cut someone off so cleanly on either side was alien to him. But it wasn’t his family, and frankly none of his business anyway.
*~*
They stood outside of a surprisingly expansive house on the edge of Silver Lake on the western side of the Michigan mitten, the gray sky above their heads threatening to dump yet more snow on them as they waited for someone to reach the door. Derek could hear a collection of heartbeats and voices within. Two of them old, one arrhythmic. A couple more adults, a few younger voices, a decent family gathering. There was apple, rum, cinnamon, nutmeg in the air, someone made mulled cider. It was only the 22nd, this was just a small contingent perhaps, or at least not held to the same importance as Christmas Eve.
The door opened, and a short, stout woman with steel curls and a smile that felt like home stood in the doorway to welcome them. “Mieczyslaaaw!“ She reached forward and pulled him down to kiss both of his cheeks and hug him tightly. She hadn’t seen him since they all attended the funeral of their grandmother. As a longtime family friend in the area, it was an easy transition for the family to absorb Nelia in the fold. “Oh, my sweet child. Look at you, how you’ve grown. My love.” She ushered him inside to embrace John as well, but paused a little in surprise when she saw Derek. “Nelia, this is my friend Derek.” Stiles said, looking almost proud to bring home such a fine friend to his step-grandmother. Almost as if he was proving to everyone that he wasn’t a complete social pariah, that he had people who liked him enough to come all the way out to Michigan with him. Nelia looked surprised at the man before her, but to her credit recovered quickly, holding a hand out for him to shake. “So nice to meet you, Derek. Please, come in.” For all of Stiles’ warning of an accent, it really wasn’t that bad. Clearly not her first language, but perfectly understandable. Though Derek had taught himself Polish when you are very rich you have a fair bit of time on your hands, he knew that he could only tell Stiles that he could speak it once, and he was saving that card for later. Unless Nelia was struggling on something, he’d keep his fluency to himself. She pulled him in with a hand on his shoulder as well, closing the door to the cold.
The house was warm and alive, a strong furnace and people comfortable staying there. Derek was able to pick up on more than the others and could hear a side conversation between two men.
“Your other grandson and John are here.” An adult man, a husky voice, probably a smoker, speaking quietly in a distant room. There were footsteps coming towards the Stilinskis and Derek at the door, but the voice stayed put. Whoever was talking wasn’t moving a muscle to meet them.
“Good! Good. I want to see them. It’s been too long.” The responding voice was hoarse, stilted slightly, and far older. It almost reminded Derek of Vito Corleone, a man assured of his position as patriarch.Who wouldn’t have his opinion questioned.
"It’s a disgrace.”
"I have tolerated the insult of your war against them long enough. Silence.” An authoritative end to a conversation, before a creak of wheels coming toward them.
Stiles was going through family, stiff handshakes with the assorted uncles, trying to communicate through grip and direct eye contact that he knew precisely what they said about him and his dad, and that given the opportunity, he’d fight them. He then had to give hugs of varying sincerity with the cousins. The ones he knew from his childhood he could embrace with genuine emotion, the ones he’d never met was more of an uncomfortable formality, performed for the sake of appearances. Once finished, he saw his grandfather for the first time in years. It was a lance through his heart to see the once tall man reduced to a withered shadow in a wheelchair. “Hi Dziadek.” He said, bending down to put an arm around him.
“Oh, Mischief.” The older man put shaking hands around Stiles’ face. “You look so much like Claudia.”
Stiles nodded sadly as his grandfather patted his face and let him return to full height again. Mentions of his mother didn’t hurt as much as they used to, but he didn’t remember her face as much as the others did, it seemed. When he looked in the mirror, he didn’t see a ghost looking out like the others could.
Derek was awkwardly explaining who he was to some people there who also seemed confused, when the cousin he saw Nelia talking to earlier took his arm. “Derek, we were under the impression when Stiles said he was bringing a friend that you’d be a girlfriend.” She finally explained outright.
Derek blinked a few times and was grateful for all the years of keeping a straight face under pressure to now not give any sign of a reaction. He put his thoughts into a response after a moment’s recovery. “That does explain why Nelia was confused. I’m just a friend who didn’t have plans for Christmas and Stiles offered. If it’s a problem at all I could absolutely stay some-“
“Oh, no, staying here is fine.” The girl saved him from talking. “I’m Nika, by the way.” She fixed him with an odd look that he’d seen sometimes in Stiles, a sort of curious, searching look that a raptor might give while wondering if something was prey or a toy. “Just that originally, when you were a girlfriend, you’d have been staying in my room and Stiles was with my brother. But that’s clearly not going to be a thing. So you and my brother will be switching, so you’re with Stiles and my brother’s with me. He had to go move his stuff. You and Stiles should come up and see the room, I think we have some things to discuss.”
She was tossing around so many red flags in Derek’s head she could be a one person color guard. He didn’t know what the hell she was, but there was something very very very wrong with this whole situation. He might not have an intuitive evil detector like Stiles’ spidey sense, but he had a healthy dose of paranoia, and it was telling him that there was all kinds of trouble about to occur. Maybe she was going to ritually sacrifice them up there. Maybe this was the Polish Get Out. Wyjść. It was a little catchy.
The adults had started passing around drinks and returned to their original conversations, and Nika made some excuse about room arrangements and putting luggage up to drag Stiles away from the grandparents glad to be reunited with their prodigal grandson.
Stiles peeled away from them and caught the  Am I Going To Be Flayed Alive look in Derek’s big green stupidly pretty eyes and almost laughed. “Relax, Ice Man, you’re fine.” He clapped him on the shoulder as they went outside to get the suitcases from the car. “It’s Nika. She’s my absolute fave cousin, and if something happened to her or she meant any kind of ill will, I’d know. Trust me. She’s fine.”
Nika lead them upstairs to a small room with a full size bed, dark blue walls, no decorations but a nightstand and rug. Hadn’t been lived in for months, given the dead air in the room. “So, Stiles. How about you tell me when your spark woke, and why you brought a werewolf all the way over here.”
Stiles choked on either air or an immediate response, either way he sounded like an ostrich getting throttled. Derek wasn’t making out much better mentally, but he only raised his eyebrows.
Nika smiled as she sat on the bed. “Come on, Stiles, where’d you think you got the gift from? Aunt Claudia never used her talents much, but she was one of us.” She picked up the candle on the nightstand and blew on the wick, a flame lighting to fill the room with some warmth. “I’ve never met a werewolf before, but you were sensing shit like Legolas out there, Derek, it wasn’t too subtle, and a set of ears and or nose like that, out of Beacon Hills aka Werewolf Wonderland?”
“More like nightmareland.” Stiles snorted. “So, holy shit, like five revelations at once and I wanna come back to like….all of them, but…uh….how many of ‘em know, downstairs?!” He asked, shocking Derek by asking an actually relevant, useful question.
“The three brothers know their mother and their sister were “”””out there”””” and that you’re insane and I’m a lost cause. Dziadek knew that Babcia was a superstitious woman and that the wild comes through sometimes. Oh, sorry Derek, Dziadek and Babcia are grandfather and grandmother respectively.” Nika explained. “Babcia did small things, mostly stuff with herbs and intent, like thumping a car engine and telling it to run, or aggressively sweeping bad energy out of the house, or putting bundles above doorways to keep evil intent out. Even the mistletoe around the house was hers.” She set the candle back onto the nightstand, the fire flickering with the movement. “Werewolves are very family oriented, in general, it’s unusual to break away from the family to join another entirely alien one for a holiday like Christmas. I’m just curious.”
“He’s way too nice and let his pack totally forget about him.” Stiles wasn’t remotely afraid of being as bitter about it as Derek tried to deny that he felt.
Nika digested the statement for a moment and gave them a vague smile. “Maybe not all of them.” She got up and left the room as if that would give her the last word. Clearly, she didn’t recall from her childhood who Stiles was, as he followed her as quickly as his gazelle legs could with an indignant “WHAT DOES THAT MEAN!?”
*~*
Stiles had been so wrapped up in realizing that there was a whole family history of witchery that he’d completely missed out on the fact that Derek and him were actually now supposed to share a bed until it was one in the morning and he finally arrived in the room. To find Derek sitting on his suitcase reading. “Hey, thought you came up here a while ago.”
“I did, but…” Derek half winced and locked his tablet. “We only got the one bed, and..”
“Bro, you used to live in the burned-out husk of your family’s old house I am not about to buy that you’re such a snob that you can’t share a bed for a few nights.” Stiles yanked his shirt off and tossed it in the vague direction of his suitcase. “It’s just a few nights and I even have sleep pants if you wanna go all no homo on me.”
“What? No, n- that’s not what I mean.”
“Then what do you mean.” The belt careened through the air in an ark as Stiles continued the process.
Derek was going to have to talk quickly if he wanted to get out anything. “I can’t sleep next to people.”
“What? Why?” Stiles paused, button of his jeans undone.
Derek was looking at a particularly fascinating piece of lint on the ground. “Just never works out right. I didn’t want to just disappear on you, so I was waiting for you to get back before I went to find a hotel or crash on the couch.”
“No, why. I wanna know why.”
Derek contemplated crawling out of the window to escape Stiles’ eyes, which even in the low light of the room burned into his skull. “I just can’t, alright?”
“Nope. Not alright. Fess up.”
“I’m a sleep cuddler.” Derek said it so quickly and refused to look up no matter what Stiles did.
Stiles was quiet for a few odd moments while he had a face odyssey. “Really?”
“Yeah.” Derek could feel the blush on his face and was actively willing it to go away forever. “Ever since I was a kid, if there’s someone next to me I always end up wrapped around ‘em. It’s not conscious, it just happens. So.”
“Jesus tittyfuckin’ Christ, Derek I thought it was something serious. I’m not gonna die if you give me a lil hug. Don’t be so dramatic.” Stiles finally flung his jeans off and crawled under the covers, the little tone of his phone plugging in to charge playing as he settled in. “G’night, Der.” He mumbled sleepily.
Derek had no choice. If Stiles told anyone about this, they’d never find his body. Whose body would go missing was up for debate.
*~*
Derek was a filthy liar when he tried to say it didn’t work out, and he knew it. He slept better than he had in months that night. When he awoke, Stiles was playing some mobile game, and Derek was spooning him pretty hardcore, legs tangled and an arm over his stomach. He moved away the instant he came to consciousness again. “Sorry.” He mumbled, only the ghosts of vowels in the slurred word.
“Hell, if it was a problem I’d have crawled out, but uh, you don’t get too much sleep and seeing as you knocked out for a solid nine hours there, I thought it best to let you wake up on your own.” Stiles was all nonchalance, but Derek could hear something like omission from his words. It’s not that he was wrong, it was just adjacent to the truth.
“Who told you I don’t sleep?”
“The fact that you text me back about Edda translations at three in the morning on Tuesday nights tells me that you’re not sleeping much. Now c’mon, we missed the breakfast train but if we make puppy eyes at Nelia enough she’ll probably cave and feed us. Or smack us lightly and call us lazy. One of the two.”
*~*
“Stiles, your friend is so handsome, how does he not have a girlfriend?” Nelia asked, perfectly comfortable to talk all kinds of terrible things as Derek was helping fold pierogi with Nika and Stiles. “He’d make a fine husband. He should find a good wife.”
Stiles gawked for a second, and had no clue how to respond. This would in no way stop him from doing so anyway. “He’s had a difficult time for a while, he’s helping his family right now, college, supporting them.” Stiles’ Polish was pretty rusty, he hadn’t been practicing much in the last several years.
“He has children?”
“No. Not exactly. More friends that he kind of brought inside because no one was helping them right.”
“Hmm. Nika, he’s handsome, isn’t he?”
Nika did not want to get dragged into this conversation. “Very, but it isn’t nice to talk about people in front of them.”
Nelia went to check on the uncles as they were all apparently having a slight discussion with John on the front lawn and was fully prepared to drag each of them back in by their ear and give them a firm education on the meaning of Christmas. This of course left the cousins and Derek all alone in the kitchen, the others of the family dispersed for their individual amusements.
“So, Stiles, are you…..and Derek….?”
Stiles blinked, sealing the dough around the potato and onion. “Are we what”
“Boyfriends.” She said it like it wasn’t kind of a bombshell of a word to utter.
“Nooo.” Flour and bits of dough scattered as he waved his hands to emphasize how NO that was. Absolutely not. Had she even seen Derek? He was so out of his league it physically and emotionally pained him. “ No. We’re just friends. Truly.”
“Okay, okay, I was just wondering. I wasn’t going to tell anyone.”
“I’m not gay.”
“I didn’t ask if you were.”
“You were asking a little bit.”
“But I wasn’t.”
“Derek’s also not gay”
“I wasn’t asking!”
“But he does have terrible….choice in women. Every time he gets a girlfriend she tries to kill us.”
That was enough of that. Derek had developed some thick skin about the litany of traumas he’d incurred and would give Stiles a little leave to talk shit about Jennifer, but that was taking it a little more casually than he’d like. “That’s a little mean, Stiles.” He said in perfect Polish.
Stiles turned so many colors that there was a risk he might burst a blood vessel. He fled before anyone could grab hold of him and make him accountable for his actions. Nika at least muttered an apology before scurrying off.
Derek wondered if his deep-seated need to be dramatic may contrasting with his desire to not be such a colossal dick to people he actually liked.
*~*
Stiles successfully avoided Derek by busying himself with everything possible for the rest of the day, but of course, after the day, must come the night, and thus the sleep. In the same bed. With the guy he brutally insulted and exposed just hours ago. Fuck.
Maybe if Derek was already asleep he could just curl up in the closet and evaporate entirely before anyone noticed he existed. Fuck. Why did this have to happen. Why did he have to open his big stupid mouth and say the stupidest thing that he’d ever uttered in his life.
He didn’t see light coming from under the door as he went, but knew that Derek would wake up if the doorknob made even the slightest sound. He rubbed his hands enough to warm the bony fingers and waved his hand slowly around the doorframe, collecting the sound from that space before snatching it all. Just long enough to open it silently.
When he saw Derek sitting up in bed with just the candle on the nightstand and his tablet in hand, Stiles had half a thought to make a run for it. But Derek had already looked up with a raised eyebrow. There was no escaping.
“How’d you do that that quietly?” Derek asked, not addressing the parade of elephants doing the merengue in the room.
“I, uh, didn’t want to wake you up. So I just took the sound away from it.” Stiles answered, stepping inside and looking pointedly away from anywhere near the bed.
Derek locked his tablet and set it aside. “That’s pretty impressive.” Was all he said in reply, but it was gushing praise given who it was coming from.
Stiles couldn’t stand it anymore. “Derek I am so sorry I said that, I never should have even thought it, I just-“ his words were running on top of each other and he felt like King Trashbag of the proud nation of Shitfriendia.
“Relax.”
Stiles hated being told to relax by anyone, but he had to be very nice to Derek for the rest of their concurrent lives and there was something so calm about the way Derek said it that made it less insulting. He hazarded a glance up, but Derek wasn’t wearing a shirt and even in the low light of the room he could see chest hair and he had to look away immediately or he might die.
“You have a family member who understands you on a level none of the rest of us do. She’s becoming a fast friend and you’re very comfortable with her. It wasn’t the nicest thing to say,” and it was pretty damn private, but Derek was trying to make Stiles feel better so he wouldn’t bring it up, “but I know you didn’t mean to hurt me by it.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Apology accepted.” This was probably the most adult conversation that either of them had ever engaged in, it was frankly shocking. Derek had called Boyd to help process his emotions and figure out what to say in a way that was a little more level headed than he might have done on his own.
Stiles nodded, knowing that Derek wouldn’t appreciate further self-flagellation from him and that he just would have to accept being a terrible person for the rest of his life. When he crawled into bed, he lied awake, staring at the wall across from his face and mulled it over and over. He could hear Derek’s breathing settle as he fell asleep, and an hour later a couple wiggles and there was a nose pressing against his neck and a hand over his stomach. Stiles sighed at the warm heat against him, and finally could fall asleep.
*~*
Nelia checked the codfish in the oven, monitoring the temperature carefully. “Still not ready. Mieczyslaw, could you help set the table, please?” She asked, setting some rolled napkins and a handful of forks onto the table.
It was Christmas Eve, and the whole family was sitting down soon for Wigilia, the main feast. Usually eaten before going to Midnight Mass, beginning at around eleven and finishing at midnight proper. Despite its importance, the grandparents had not gone since the grandfather had been confined to his wheelchair and their local church loved its beautiful stone steps so much. As a religious building that was remarkably old, it was exempt from the ADA act requiring public buildings to be wheelchair accessible.
They still held the meal, though Nelia and the older Mieczyslaw went to bed and the others of the family were encouraged to go and say their prayers for them. The young children were kept at home with the grandparents to watch them and make sure no one got out of their bed to try and catch Santa Claus.
Stiles was carrying various accoutrements from the fridge and counters to the table, and counted the place settings. Exactly enough for everyone, though this alerted him. “Wait, Nelia, we’re missing one. The spot for the wanderer.”
In many other cultures, an empty place setting at a family meal might be in remembrance of someone who had passed, or who could not be present at the table due to extenuating circumstances. It meant that something was missing, and some wanted to honor that with a missing place for them at the table. However, in Polish tradition at Wigilia, there is an empty place setting for an unexpected guest, or wanderer. A wędrowiec.
Nelia gave Stiles a meaningful look, one that he couldn’t decipher. He was so used to these kinds of looks being paired with massive eyebrows and kaleidoscope green eyes that trying to do it for other people was more difficult. “Think on it.” She said, slicing challah bread into a basket and wrapping the napkin over it to keep them warm.
Stiles puzzled and puzzled til his puzzler was sore, then it dawned on him. He wondered why it hadn’t before. “Derek.”
Nelia chuckled as she started slicing a loaf of challah bread. “Such a smart boy you are, Mieczyslaw.” Bringing a friend who had nowhere else to go so soon beforehand was certainly an unexpected traveler, though she didn’t know that Derek had been a wanderer for much longer than just that winter.
*~*
As John wasn’t Catholic, Stiles hadn’t even been Confirmed, and Derek didn’t want to go without Stiles, they all hung back while the others went off to the Midnight Mass. Since they knew that with kiddos younger than eight, Christmas begins absurdly early for everyone, they went to bed after seeing everyone off for the church about 20 minutes from the house.
Stiles lied awake, waiting for Derek to properly fall asleep so he’d get that heavy warm weight against him, that even though it’d only been a few nights, he found it hard to fall asleep without that. He loved the excuse they both got for it, this unconscious habit, but he hoped, he wished that Derek wasn’t regretting that he woke up with an armful of Stiles.
But he didn’t. He lay there for a few hours before getting out of bed and leaving the room. Stiles thought he was going to the bathroom or something, but after ten whole awful minutes of not having Derek next to him, he had to investigate. Checking his phone, the screen said 11:57PM. The whole gang of adults would be out at Mass for a while yet, the service had barely just started and apparently the priest loved his speechifying when the whole congregation was actually there for once during the year as his captive audience.
Stiles crept downstairs looking for his friend, finding Derek in the kitchen, watching a mug rotate in the microwave. “Couldn’t sleep?” he asked.
Derek glanced up. He’d heard Stiles coming down, but he didn’t really see the need to react beforehand. It’s not like his mom had caught him with his hand in the cookie jar or anything. “Kind of. And I wanted to set out some of the things I got for the kids who don’t have as much money as the others. Went out when you were trying to avoid me with their parents to make sure none of the kids felt left out.”
“Santa’s Lil Helper, huh?”
Derek pondered it. “A little. And it’s a Hale tradition. Or more, it’s a Derek Hale tradition, since I’m pretty much the one who spearheaded it.”
“What did your family used to do for Christmas?” They were speaking in hushed tones so as not to wake anyone up, but in the warm light of the kitchen Christmas lights, and the soft look of Derek in a beat-up tee and plaid sweatpants, he felt sentimental enough to ask.
“Christmas was always a little funny in the Hale house.” Derek admitted, stopping the microwave a moment before the chime would go off. “We didn’t do Santa Claus.”
“Did you do Santa Claws?” Stiles mimed some claws and fangs, knowing he’d earn an eyeroll at best.
Derek did not disappoint. “No, just a couple presents from Mom and Dad, and aunts and uncles would be later. They didn’t want us getting spoiled or thinking Santa loved us more because he gave us all kinds of stuff. But we didn’t open anything until at least noon.”
“Parents liked their sleep?” Stiles definitely remembered a firm ALL PRESENTS WILL BE REPLACED WITH CHORES AND BRUSSELS SPROUTS IF THIS DOOR IS OPENED BEFORE 8:00 AM rule on Christmas morning. Of course, Stiles was jumping on his bed with excitement at five in the morning, anyway.
Derek shook his head, and his phone started vibrating in his pocket. Stiles squinted, who would be calling Derek at midnight? Moreover, why was Derek actually taking the call??
He stepped outside onto the porch, little snow drifts from their actual white Christmas shuffling aside for him with his mug. Stiles saw the bag of Lindt truffles and a little chocolate powder dust on the counter- that sonuvabitch made HIS secret recipe. Wait. WHAT.
Derek stepped back in a few minutes later with half a smile on his face.
“Who was that?” Stiles had to ask.
“Cora.”
“What’d she want?”
Derek looked mildly embarrassed. “As of,” he looked at his watch, which read 12:08AM “…five minutes ago, I’m thirty years old.”
Stiles’ jaw dropped just a bit as his mind whirled. “It’s your birthday!?” he hissed, needing to aggressively shout but not able to wake the kids.
Derek almost winced. “Yeah.”
“Well….happy birthday!” Shit. Shit shit shit. HE’D KNOWN DEREK FOR EIGHT YEARS AND HE NEVER KNEW THIS WAS HIS BIRTHDAY. Stiles had to go find his King Trashbag of Shitfriendia crown again and sit on his dumpster pile.
“I don’t like people knowing. It’s an awkward day to have a birthday.” Derek sipped his cocoa, clearly uncomfortable.
Stiles didn’t know how to deal with this. “So…is that why you guys didn’t do Christmas until the afternoon?” He felt like he was playing minesweeper, except he didn’t get to see the warning numbers.
“Yeah.” He looked down into the mug, it was easier to talk about things if he didn’t have to watch the face journey of sympathy on people’s faces when he talked about his family. But he missed them on his birthday especially, and he wanted to talk about it. And out of anyone, he wanted to talk to Stiles about it. He knew, at least to some degree, the feeling of empty spaces in your memories. “My mom used to wake me up at 12:03 to tell me happy birthday and bring me in the kitchen. She’d have a present on there that was a birthday present only. From her. She was the alpha, so it was…pretty much impossible to actually ever get her alone. Always busy with the whole pack, worrying about everyone else, worrying about…” He trailed off. Christmas was always such a hectic time for everyone, so much noise and stress and busy rushing everywhere. “So it was nice, to have that little moment with just her.”
Silence fell between them for a few moments. Stiles didn’t know what to do with himself. Then he realized; his present to Derek was bizarrely perfect. “Hold on. Hold right here.” He stole up to his room and came back down with a wrapped present, the tape shoddily put on. He thrust the box out to Derek, looking way too happy with himself. “Happy birthday, big guy.”
Derek looked between Stiles and the box a few times, but took it and quietly unstuck the tape to slide the box out and open it. “You fucking dick.” He laughed as he pulled out a sweater that said “BIRTHDAY BOY” on it, with a hideous looking Jesus. A true ugly Christmas sweater, with a bday twist.
Stiles was grinning like a loon as Derek pulled the sweater on over his tee, that amused glint in Derek’s eyes where Stiles’ idiot sense of humor hit him perfectly. He picked up his mug again, and felt that it’d turned cold. “Can I get a warm-up?”
Stiles could have just poked the mug in Derek’s hands, or even just pointed at it. But Stiles wrapped his hands around it, his hands glowing a little as the liquid heated within, and Derek’s cold hand too.
Derek’s eyebrow quirked slightly. “Thanks.” He took a sip. “Can y’do whipped cream too?”
Stiles stifled a snorted laugh poorly, but didn’t step back away.
Derek set the mug back onto the table and looked at Stiles for another quiet moment, this one much less tense. Without looking up, he broke the silence with “I swear to God if there’s mistletoe up there right n-mmf!”
Stiles had closed the gap to kiss him, his hands holding Derek’s face as he nearly crushed their noses together. They eventually managed to tilt their heads properly so it was less of a frantic smush and more of a proper kiss.
When they finally broke so Stiles could breathe, Derek had a smile on his face, one that didn’t leave in half a second. “So, is there any?”
Stiles was able to stifle that stupid laugh better. “C’mon, lets get those presents out there for them. They’ll be back eventually.”
They put some Christmas movies on the TV as they sorted the presents into neat piles for each family so everyone could sit with their group. They were on the couch, writing out the tags on each one, making sure that the way all the Santas were written exactly the same and all of the names were spelled exactly correct. Stealing kisses every once in a while devolved slowly over the course of one of the Rankin and Bass animated movies to Stiles pressing Derek into the couch, making out like a couple of teenagers with the Christmas spirit in them.
John was trudging downstairs to see if Santa had left any of those shortbread cookies, but heard something odd from the family room. He was about to investigate, but heard something that sounded very distinctly like a Stiles happy noise, and decided to have a coughing fit and remind those two that they were not only not alone in this abode, but that the assorted parents and cousins would be returning soon and unless Stiles wanted to come out to the family in the most aggressive way possible, they better take it upstairs.
Derek managed to blush harder than Stiles did, but both had received the message, and put away the tags and pens before retreating to their room sheepishly. But they knew that John had probably seen this coming, and wasn’t going to judge them for it.
When they crawled into bed, Stiles didn’t have to wait to feel that arm around him, the press of heat against him, safe and warm. Derek kissed the back of his neck, and he could feel the smile against his skin.
Derek heard the family come back from the Midnight Mass downstairs, doing their best to tiptoe through and not wake up anyone.
“Ah ah ah! Mistletoe!” one of the aunts cooed, before a smack of a kiss.
“Who puts mistletoe in the middle of the kitchen.” Grumbled someone who was not getting themselves a Christmas kiss, bah humbug and all that.
The last voice was Nika. “Babcia always said there’s magic in a kitchen.”
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cpknightly1 · 3 years
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Greetings Everyone. My Surgy Buddies.
If you live on the East Coast. (Grab some fellow patients, break out of the hospital & make some snow angels). Be sure to close the back of your gown! Brrr..
How are you? With all my heart I hope, doing well. As if covid wasn't enough it's got variants. Please wear the friggin' mask. Look it's either the mask or sickness & possible death. Spreading it to your loved ones & friends. Political? Seriously? Life & Death..how about that? Humanity, common sense, unselfishness?
At the moment I am over the moon. Why? Because there's this glorious white stuff falling from the sky! From Michigan, it's more peaceful. Just wonderful quiet. A Noreastern storm. Woohoo! I'm looking out the window at it fall. It's fantastic. Another way God/The Goddess says "stop stressing & have some fun"!
Plus, it's giving me more ideas for the new story.
Ok. So I had the vertigo tests.
Absolutely no pain..very good. But staring at a red dot on the wall & then following the little green light, with just your eyes...I felt like a kitten. I wanted to slam my hand on it everytime it came up.
A little nauseous & headache after but no biggie. I was supposed to get my results today. SNOW DAY!! Hehe.
My phone? Ahh yes. My phone. Who the hell switches a phone over when the new SD Card isn't installed?? OFFS!!
That's what happened.
Met a good looking service guy. (For all you straight ladies out there or my gay bois) great smile. I had him laughing at my frustration. (No, I wasn't flirting with the man, ("Give me one woman, or give me death!)
Anyway, He fixed the SD problem so the memory has shifted. BUT. I have to go through every music file & make sure the files work. I'm currently on the C's. JM&J.
It might just be me but I think I heard my phone make a sigh of relief. So, so far so good.
What is keeping you busy & happy now?
It's amazing to see what people are doing with their time.
I just started something called "diamond painting". It kind of reminds me of stained glass windows. I don't have my workshop here to do those. So improvising is what I'm doing. What?..wait I haven't started yet. I took the kit apart, saw all the teenie gems & thought "ut oh". I'm going to need patience for this. They're so tiny. But it's something new & I can't wait to start. I like "details" in things. I ordered a special light box. The kind tattoo artists use so I can see the patterns better. They send me these little projects to start. Hell I want to do bigger things already.
Photos, portraits etc.
I never was the type to do this baby step stuff. But in recent years..I'm trying. I'm TRYING Dammnit!
So many things to learn & keep occupied. I'm back to my Russian language studies. Starting the new story. My roommate wants to paint & fix up the house. She wants my input on color schemes, furniture etc. Considering my bedroom IS the living room I suggested a cranberry/light gray at first. Then I loved the idea of a zen green feeling. She hates that idea. She hates green. How can you hate green?! Seriously.
I gained 2 lbs back over the Holidays. (Damn Candy, Cookies, Pies, Halva, Gaz) "Halva" is a fudge like sweet, made from sesame seeds. "Gaz" is a Turkish nougat with almonds and pistachios. Very chewy but yum.
I have no self control when it comes to the Holidays. Zip. But I've already lost 1lb & back to my eating routine. I've passed the gym so many times & seen cars in the parking lot. (Sigh) I want to go back so badly. But it isn't worth testing or risking my life.
You can't wear a mask in the pool area.
I once thought I'd try. But the idea quickly shifted at the thought of drowning wearing a mask in the pool. How uncouth.
I believe I'm busier now than before covid. How about you? OMG! I got the video game "Valhalla".
Completely hooked! I love the warning at the beginning It warns of sexual orientation in the game. Haven't come across it yet. But really. There's so much to do. Solving puzzles too. I love games that emerse you in the environment. You're free to explore. I have a bad ass female viking. It's not all beat the crap out of stuff either. Maybe all the lesbians are in Asgard. LOL
I have often been called "Dory". Focusing on one thing then someone says "Hey look, something shiny"! "Where"? LOL
I've been pulled back to Facebook lately. Ugh! Thinking of deleting my contacts & starting from scratch. It's like cramming 20 blocks of people in your phone. And everyones asking questions at the same time. Then the messenger pops up. Anti-social I am..yes, yes. For now. Look, they say it takes 10,000 hours to master the Russian language. I have maybe half a days worth. Tell me what you're up to. I'd love to know.
If you're in the Hospital, (not covid related) you must have a coloring book & crayons!
Those fighting covid, keep up the fight, please. I find it hard to pray because of such loss. So I'm screaming instead.
Stay safe, be well. And may God hold you in the palm of his hands.
Always,
Chris
🌹❤🙃
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trumpetnista · 5 years
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CMW2/Trumpetnista: Harvest
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Summary from FFN: UNABASHEDLY CARNID!;"Things break but they can grow again"-H.G.: In this Season 5B-6A AU, 17 year old Enid Mackenzie has put down literal and figurative roots in the ASZ but feelings of sadness and isolation still plague her. Enter Carl Grimes; Rated for language, TWD typical & potentially triggering gore towards the end, & first relationship tenderness;3rd in my 2018 SSS Project
Words from the Hooded Walker Stalker:  I am no stranger to showrunners fucking up. I'm not. Calling them out is a big part of my brand recognition but what Scott Gimple did? That is on some next level shit. I never thought anyone could fuck up worse than the folks at SCANDAL and Sleepy Hollow but I was wrong. I give TWD another full season, maybe 2 before it's gone and that is both tragic and excellent karma. Everyone talked a big game about how killing off Rick, Michonne, Daryl, Carol, Glenn would be the coup de grace for TWD but it was killing Carl Grimes that did it. "The annoying kid that should've BEEN gone" was the shatterpoint to the show and for someone who has adored Carl from GO, the karma is so damned gorgeous. 
It's not enough to ease the pain but at least I and other fans have company in our misery. Honestly, they've been playing Russian Roulette with the show since Season 5 but the introduction of Negan, the deviation from both Comic and TV canon in 8x08? It's over. The Walking Dead is coming to an end too soon yet not soon enough. Does that make sense? I think it does and so do a lot of other people out there. Seriously, it's over. It's DONE. 
Anyway, I am just gonna use my stories to NOPE all that fucking bullshit. As far as I'm concerned, Carl Grimes is alive and well and kicking evil's ass and he's gonna get to be happy with his family and his Enid. Carl and Enid didn't get nearly enough time together. We were robbed of 3 more years of Carl Grimes (Gimple did Chandler so fucking dirty, y'all!) and of seeing Carl and Enid really get to be happy together. They're gonna get to be happy together here and in all the rest of my TWD stories, Carnid and also when I eventually expand into writing for Mom and Dad AKA Richonne. That's how it's gonna be. When a Fave gets done dirty, whether by bullshit death or character ruination, it's up to the fic writers to fix things. Feel free to join me in my delusional world and enjoy the latest! 
Disclaimer: “Honestly, it’s not mine!”
"...you've been through a lot, haven't you? Spencer said that you were walking alone out there. Is there anyone looking for you now?"
She shook her head no, keeping a tight grip on her bag and her gaze down. Ingrained manners had her wanting to take her boots off but she undid the double knots instead. The red jacket she had salvaged from the snarling car Chomper was unzipped and the house was elegantly cozy. It looked like one of the places featured in Architectural Digest. Her father loved that magazine. Her mother preferred to read Cosmopolitan and both of them loved cars. It made perfect sense given where they were from and...
"How old are you?"
"...15. No, 16. My birthday was June 11th. It's not summer anymore. The heat feels different."
"It's September 15th. We kept track of time. How long have you been on your own?"
She shrugged and watched warily as a man exited the kitchen, holding a pitcher of water.
"That's my husband, Reg. He was an architect and he designed the Walls. Spencer is our youngest son who is our Gatekeeper and Aiden is our oldest. He's on a Run with his Crew right now but he should be back soon. I'm Deanna Monroe. I was a Congressperson from Ohio. Are you from around here?"
She shook her head and glanced towards the camera, scooting further away from it.
"Where are you from?"
"...Michigan...what used to be Michigan..."
"Upper or Lower Peninsula?"
Instead of replying verbally, she slowly turned her hands around the represent the state before pointing to the fleshy part underneath her right thumb.
"Southeastern Michigan. What city did you live in? Detroit? Warren? Flint?"
"...Novi. I had friends in Hazel Park, Royal Oak, and Warren because of band, parkour, and ballet but they're probably all dead now. My parents are dead. They got swarmed and Chomped."
"I'm sorry to hear that...you were a musician?"
Partially unzipping her bag but still holding it close to her chest, she showed one of her most prized possessions. The black case was decorated with shiny stickers and various felt flowers, mainly sunflowers in bloom.
"That's a clarinet case. You played?"
"First chair. I did color guard with the upperclassmen, too. My clarinet was my mom's. My knife was my mom's, too. I still have daddy's Zippo lighter and-"
Her face crumpled and instinctively, her hands came up to muffle her sobs. She felt the urge to flee. Why she had decided to return to the large Gate was anyone's guess, really. It seemed to be the right thing to do at the time, the most logical thing but now, she wasn't sure. The Walls were decent, the homes beautiful, but the people inside them were weak.
They were sheltered. They were complacent.
They didn't know what it was like to be hungry. They didn't know what it was like to be thirsty. They didn't know what it was like to be cold and wet at night or baked from the sun during the day. They didn't know anything! They didn't understand just how cruel the world had become. They had put up Walls to keep out The Dead but they were still very vulnerable to The Living. They had the Walls, a Gate, and guard posts but they were mainly empty. Anyone who could climb or had a vehicle to ram the gate could easily get in.
The place was big, way too big. There were blind spots and they had running water? That meant a sewer system. Anyone who could find a way to get down there would have free reign up top. There had to be some people who knew how to fight or shoot a gun but likely not well. It was very rare that a few people could take down a pack of assholes, especially if they were organized.
The Living were far more dangerous than The Dead.
The place she was in right now was supposed to be her salvation. She should be ecstatic to have found it and that it was being ran by decent people. However, there was a feeling of impending doom in her gut that wouldn't go away. When the doom came, it would be catastrophic. Where it would come from, she wasn't sure. Threats were everywhere. No place, no direction that a person went in was ever safe. It was even possible that a threat would come from within the Walls themselves and when it did...
The kind eyed woman stood up, moving as if to hug her but she was faster, putting the chair between them. Her zipped bag returned to its rightful place on her back. If either of them came any closer, she would unsheathe her mother's knife. She didn't have a gun with her. Guns and ammo were getting harder to find. Somebody out there was starting to hoard them and she really didn't want to know why. Also, without a silencer, guns made way too much noise. She preferred to use blades and blunt objects like bricks. She preferred to make traps or use vehicles when she could find one that worked.
The Monroes needed to back off. They needed to turn the fucking camera off and let her leave, if not The Walled Place altogether then at least leave their house. She didn't feel right being there. Everything felt so wrong. Everything was wrong and would never be right again.
The global spread of the Virus and the Walking Dead that it produced saw to that.
"...it's okay...you don't have to be scared anymore. You're in a safe place, now..."
But for how long, she wanted to shout at Deanna but couldn't. Her voice was lost to tears. Some landed on the back of the recliner she was hiding behind, staining it with more dirt. It likely wasn't the first time it had happened. It wouldn't be the last and eventually, the stains on the chair would be blood. Blood, brains, and so many other disgusting, horrible, terrible things.
"Deanna, I think you've gotten enough for now. She needs to rest. Olivia will be able to get her some supplies, a hot meal, and Denise is a psychologist. She may be able to help her."
She doubted it.
"You're right, love. I'm sorry, young lady. Sometimes, I get so focused on the big picture that I forget about the present. Luckily, I have Reg here to remind me. Can you tell us your name?"
"...Enid."
She wouldn't tell them her last name. They didn't need to know. They didn't need to know that she was The Last Mackenzie. They just needed to know that she was orphaned and nobody was looking for her. Enid had been tempted to give them a fake name but that would've been problematic later on. She didn't want them to become suspicious of her. She was just a girl...a woman on her own, trying to make it from sun up to sun down.
Could she be dangerous? If the situation warranted it, absolutely.
Enid wouldn't hesitate to defend herself or the resources she found. Nobody else was going do it. Even if someone offered to, she wouldn't let them. After what happened to her parents, she didn't want that on her conscience. Most of all, Enid didn't want to owe anyone anything. Having people think that she owed them something led to all sorts of problems...
"Hello, Enid. Welcome to the Alexandria Safe Zone."
The camera was turned off after that sentence and she sat back down, picking up the pitcher of water to drink deeply. The water was cool and crisp, free of debris. It tasted so good!
What a name for the place: The Alexandria Safe Zone. The bitch of it was that they really believed it. They really believed that they were in a safe zone. They really believed that they had everything under control. They really believed that they could handle every crisis that erupted and everything would be okay. They were wrong, tragically wrong because this couple were genuinely good people. Deanna and Reg Monroe were genuinely good people. Enid knew that. She also knew that genuinely good people were among the first ones to be killed when evil came knocking, if not the first. That was just how things worked now. It had been like that in the Beforetime, too.
If Enid tried to warn them, would they listen? If she tried to warn anyone here, would they listen? Would they change their ways? Would they add more guards to the Gate and platforms? Would they add more layers and reinforcement to the Walls? Would they learn how to fight? Would they even be willing to try? Probably not. If they didn't succumb to despair immediately, they just would dismiss her as a traumatized, paranoid little girl. They'd try to hug her and pat her head, saying that everything would be all right. She was just a baby scared of the monster in the closet, that's all. If she calmed down and trusted the Walls, everything would be hunky-fucking-dory...
Hell, even if she were grown, they still wouldn't listen to her until it was too late.
Something and someone horrifying on all levels would have to make them see truth.
Even after that happened, they likely wouldn't change. They'd just give up and die painfully.
Enid knew that she was being unfair. She knew that these Alexandrians deserved the benefit of the doubt but her gut instincts rarely steered her wrong. She knew what time it was and what time it would be sooner rather than later. It was the calm before the storm. The East wind was blowing. Clouds were on the horizon and with their arrival would come pain and bloodshed.
The bubble was going to pop.
Did she want to be around to see it? Did she want to risk being hurt or killed because of these Alexandrians' ignorance and inevitable cowardice? Were the resources inside these Walls worth it? Her parents had laid down their lives to keep her safe. Enid owed it to them and everyone else like them to not squander that sacrifice but at the same time...
Looking at the letters she had traced onto the back of her hand, she made her decision.
JSS
Just Survive Somehow.
Staying the Alexandria Safe Zone and in the LEADER's good graces was her best chance of survival at the moment.
And as awful and lonely as The Fucked New World was, Enid wasn't ready to die. Not yet.
She would stay. She'd keep her guard up and sharpen her skills so she would be ready. Just because these Alexandrians were weak didn't mean that she had to be weak, too. She would rest before finding something productive to do while waiting for evil to come knocking. When it did, Enid would fight to win or go down swinging.
When Alexandria and its people Fell, either to The Dead, The Living, or a delightful combination of the two, Enid would do her best to be one of the last ones standing, if not the last.
On her parents' graves, she swore it.
10 Months Later...
"What are you doing?"
"Plants need to breathe just like we do. I'm drilling holes in the bottom of this kiddie pool so it'll be easier for them later. I'm going to put holes in the others and then place them all at the same time. Once they're set up in the backyard, I'll take my nap before filling them with soil, fertilizer, mulch, and water. I'll give them a day to chill out before I start planting."
"What are you gonna put in them?"
"I don't know. It depends on what I feel like dealing with and what seeds we've got left."
"...my brother says that what you're doing is stupid. He says that you're stupid."
"Oh, really?"
"Yeah. I heard him talking to Mikey about you while they were shooting pool yesterday. He says that you shouldn't be spending so much time doing this because in the end, it won't matter."
"It's funny that he says that while happily stuffing his face with the food grown here. Asshole."
"Ron's always been like that. Is he right, though? This doesn't matter? Nothing we do matters?"
"Sam, your brother is wrong. Everything that a person does in this world, whether they're behind Walls or not matters. Every. Single. Thing. And you know what? Someday, Runs aren't going to happen anymore. Everything that can be found will go bad or be found first by someone who will say no and start shooting if they're asked to share. We have to be strong. We have to be smart. We have to be willing to fight to live. We have to be able to make and grow what's needed to keep this place going like the Monroes want it to. What I'm doing here will help make sure that people will be able to have healthy and enough food to eat no matter what or who happens. Having Walls doesn't mean a goddamned fucking thing if the people behind them could end up starving to death. Your brother is very wrong and very rude. Don't listen to him."
"I'll tell him all of that next time he says you're stupid. You're not stupid, Enid. You're smart."
"I am. Tell Ron the truth but don't say the Fuck word to him. You're too young for that shit."
It wasn't just nihilism that had Ron Anderson dismissing her efforts and insulting her. Enid knew for a fact that he was holding a torch for her. With her luck, he probably fancied himself in love with her. He wanted her and saw all of her activities as a roadblock to getting close to her. That hadn't been her plan but it certainly came in handy. If Ron or anyone else tried to get her to hang around longer, Enid always had a solid reason for going away. She always had more work to do.
Since what Enid did was important for the ASZ, nobody could complain when she decided to throw herself into doing it for weeks at a time. Many were actually grateful. She was stepping up. She was fitting in. In their eyes, she had made the ASZ her home and that was good. She was a valuable resource. Enid produced whatever she could and what she produced was awesome.
To go along with her diligent work behind the Walls, her solo supply Runs and foraging/hunting trips in the forest were consistently successful. Interfering with her business would be stupid. She had found something to do and didn't cause trouble so they left her in peace. She could stand to be a little nicer when she talked to people but overall, she was a good girl doing good things.
Enid had free reign to come and go as she pleased, which she adored.
She had the best of both worlds now: freedom and (relative) safety.
Ron would just have to stay mad about it because Enid wasn't interested in romance.
Why bother setting herself up for heartbreak and disappointment? Why open herself up to the possibility of being betrayed and abandoned later? The closest ones to you could and would become the biggest threat under pressure. It would be a very bad idea to get emotionally/physically attached to anyone with the world being as cruel it was now.
It would be an even worse idea to get emotionally/physically attached to Ron.
He was book smart, funny on occasion, and decent looking but he was just so damned weak. God, he was fucking pathetic! Ron was one of the weakest Alexandrians she knew, even weaker than some of the elderly and little kids! It was hilarious and horrifying all at the same time.
If (and it was a very big if...) Enid ever got into a relationship, she wanted a companion that she wouldn't have to constantly protect. She wanted someone who stood a fighting chance against The Fucked New World instead of just a running one. She wanted someone who had a backbone and was adaptable. She wanted someone who didn't spend more time complaining than solving problems. Ron didn't fit any of that criteria. Even if he changed for the better tomorrow, she still wouldn't want to be with him because he and his family were dangerously sick in the head.
Enid wanted to stay as far away from them as possible. The Anderson family was going to self-destruct any day now. They were a ticking time bomb and when the clock hit zero, it would be horrible. Every single Anderson had problems. Ron was full of anger and angst. When he wasn't faking a smile, he was lashing out before shutting down. Enid didn't need that aggravation. She didn't have the patience for it. Dealing with her own anger and angst was enough.
Pete and Jessie were far from a loving couple. People learned how to be in relationships from the ones around them. Enid didn't want to be in a relationship where Ron had learned from his parents' example, even if mustered up enough gumption to do the opposite. Pete and Jessie Anderson were a textbook case of domestic violence and the vicious cycle of abuse. Pete was the bully and Jessie was the punching bag. They were a toxic pair. They were a desperately unhappy pair. Their marriage was as dead as the endless mass of Chompers that roamed over and rotted underneath the earth. They were a walking Murder-Suicide pretending to be in love and Sam?
Honestly, he was the best of the bunch.
Sam Anderson was very immature for his age. He acted more like a 5-year-old than the 10-year-old he actually was but he wasn't a bad person. He was just emotionally stunted from being stuck with people who were too caught up in their own misery to look after him properly. The End had exacerbated the issues they all had and things got worse for them every day.
Jessie tried her best. She really did but it wasn't enough. Between constantly taking Pete's abuse and dealing with Ron's various issues, the blonde was at her breaking point. She was weak and desperate for someone, anyone to save her. She refused to save herself because she honestly felt like she couldn't. Pete had drilled that idea into her head over the years. He had broken her spirit.
It made sense given that he had certainly broken at least a third of her bones over the years.
Jessie babysat the Community's kids with Shelly Neidermeyer, who ran the ASZ's school. She threw herself into being the Den mother for Alexandria and as perfect of a housewife as she could be. Jessie also threw herself into making unique (ugly!) owl themed sculptures to cope with her misery so her youngest son slipped through the cracks.
Sam was very much on his own so he started seeking validation and protection from other Community residents with mixed results. Some coddled him and others told him to go away fast. Enid was one of the main people Sam reached out to. She didn't mind indulging him. She even let him help her out sometimes. Not for very long, because Sam could be a whining pain in the ass after a while, which she had little to no patience for, but he was a good kid who deserved better.
Enid couldn't save Sam from the absolute clusterfuck that his family was but she could be kind.
She could teach him about how The Fucked New World worked.
That was the best thing Enid could do for him. Knowledge was Power.
Ignorance may be bliss but it led to painful death nowadays. It couldn't be allowed.
Deanna and Reg knew all about the Andersons' ugly situation. Due to Pete being the only Alexandrian with full medical training, they decided to turn a blind eye for the sake of the Greater Good. That decision disgusted Enid to the Core. It made her sick! Having an alcoholic surgeon was worse than having no surgeon at all! Having an alcoholic surgeon who mistreated the family he was lucky enough to still have was completely unacceptable! What the hell were they thinking?
Fortunately for the sloppy, ungrateful son of a bitch, Enid wasn't the one in charge of the ASZ.
If she was, then Pete would've been sent packing or just shot dead like the dog he was ages ago.
Overall, her assessment of The Monroes being genuinely good people in charge of things still stood but Enid would never trust them fully. Their permissive attitude towards Pete's bullshit set an unspoken Community rule that she took full advantage of: If someone had a skill that nobody else had, they could do whatever they wanted, sans murder, without getting kicked out.
With that in mind, Enid had taken the time to become Alexandria's main farmer and sole beekeeper. Now, they couldn't kick her out. She could still leave if she wanted to, though.
The beekeeping had been an accident. Enid had stumbled upon four large hives while cleaning out the house she had moved into after healing physically. The Monroes had tried to convince her to keep living above the Pantry but she wanted her own space. She wanted and deserved to have some privacy. Olivia was a nice person. Really, she was and she was easy to live with. However, Enid didn't want or need a babysitter. Enid could take care of herself and those around her easily. She didn't need a babysitter nor did she need another obstacle to get past when she had to make a run for it. Always having a clear escape route was critical to survival.
Instead of killing all of the bees, Enid had decided to relocate and nurture them. Not only was it a practical choice, it was a way to remember her father. Liam Mackenzie had been utterly fascinated by bees. He would always bring home fresh honey, beeswax, and royal jelly when he could. Bees made those and after harvesting them, the products could be used to help in so many ways. Bees were worth their weight in bullets. Finding the hives was good luck that needed to be capitalized on. Along with her fond memories, a Run to a library had given Enid the information she needed to do it right and three more to various hardware stores had given her the supplies to get started.
After building and connecting five large sheds, Enid had transferred the bees into the hives she had assembled. It had taken a while (and lots of stings! So many stings!), but Alexandria's Apiary was stable and starting to thrive. There were currently eight hives with both in and outdoor plants to support them. According to Enid's research, the best time to harvest was between late July and up to the middle of September so soon, she would begin to reap the rewards of her hard work.
The apiary was her domain. Nobody else was brave enough to try to help her out with it, not that she would've let them. Beekeeping was her way of meditating, her special quiet time. Enid didn't want that sense of serenity ruined nor did she want her work destroyed by ignorance or malice.
The farming had started as a way to remember her mother.
Madeline Mackenzie used to grow herbs, flowers, fruit, and vegetables for farmer's markets. Enid used to help her out all the time and make local deliveries. She had never forgotten the lessons she had been taught. Enid had started out with fresh herbs to help with Olivia's pickling and smoking efforts while planting flowers to help the bees produce what was needed. After finding a gardening book in the Monroe House filled with detailed instructions for large scale agricultural projects, Enid had decided to go All In. Crops needed to be planted sooner rather than later.
So much time had been wasted. The Alexandrians should have started planting as soon as the Walls were up. Someone had to step up and get it done. Enid had enlisted Reg Monroe's help in designing the garden's layout. After settling on it and choosing the best place for it in the Community (smack dab in the middle), the construction crew had helped her with fencing and plowing rows.
Other Community members would pitch in for easy parts, like building boxes, pulling weeds or watering plants but like the apiary, the garden was her responsibility at the end of the day.
Enid had asked Heath and his Crew to bring her the things she needed to keep going and they did. She still made solo Runs on occasion. Olivia would help her out with maintenance after she was done working in the Pantry. Aaron and Eric Raleigh would help between their Recruiting trips.
Of all of the Alexandrians she had to live with, Enid liked Aaron and Eric best. They were smart and kind. They weren't weak. They were still a bit naïve but they weren't weak. They were strong and they were an excellent couple, despite the shit people gave them for being so openly loving.
Some of the Alexandrians were hateful and stupid. The sort of ideas they spewed like bloody diarrhea had carried over from The Old World. Homophobia, Racism, Classism, Sexism...none of it should matter anymore. It hadn't mattered to sensible people before The End but it certainly shouldn't matter to anyone now.
They had much bigger fish to fry. All that mattered at the end of the day was who was Strong and who was Weak, who was Useful and who was Chomper Chow.
Most of all, it was critical to know who was an asshole and who wasn't.
Other than how to take down Chompers, knowing that was the most important information.
"...w-what's going on?"
Enid turned off the electric drill she was using and saw people looking towards the Gate. Some braver ones were already walking towards it and she could hear vehicles entering Alexandria slowly. Had Aaron and Eric finally made it back? Were they hurt? Did they find new people to bring in? They had been gone for almost a week and after the nasty but needed thunderstorm that had blown through, Enid had been ready to go looking for them. Had someone found them? If so, were the someones good or bad? Had they been taken hostage? Were they Turned and roaming around? If they were, they needed to Put Down and not everyone had the skill or stomach to do it. Aaron and Eric were genuinely good people. They didn't deserve to roam...
Enid set the drill down and took off running. Her mother's knife was sheathed on her right thigh. A small machete was sheathed at the small of her back and she wore brass knuckles on her gloved hands. Sam followed until she stopped abruptly at the T-shaped intersection 5 blocks away, making him run into the back of her. Enid steadied him before turning him to the right, giving him a light shove to get him moving.
"Enid?"
"Go home. Hide there and keep quiet until we know what's going on. Find your mom."
"But, Enid..."
"I said go home and hide, Sam. Do not follow me."
The last thing Enid needed was someone getting in her way if there was a threat to be handled. Although she had laid both literal and figurative roots in Alexandria, Enid hadn't forgotten the Vow she made. She was still ready. Enid was still strong and if she had to fight, she would win.
She would win or take the threat with her.
Stopping in an alleyway, Enid watched as Aaron and Eric led a group of exhausted people towards the Monroe House. There were 14 of them of various ages and races and was that a baby?
They had a baby with them!
The baby was napping in the arms of a man who looked like Moses. There was a gorgeous black woman with long dreadlocks walking next to Moses. She was helping a tall black boy with a hurt ankle walk and she had an actual fucking katana on her back. She was a Samurai! Was she Moses' wife? His lover? His best friend? She was definitely his Second in Command, rightfully so.
The brunette supermodel and the Asian man behind them were definitely married. Their left hands were entwined and they had wedding rings on. Making up the rest of the new Group were a man with a mullet, a Hell's Angel with a crossbow, a BAMF grandma with a Joan Jett haircut, a Nirvana fan complete with a flannel shirt, an Army Barbie, an Army Sniper, a Priest in all black, a big red giant that looked straight out of The Hurt Locker and...
A boy in an actual fucking cowboy hat stopped in the middle of the street and tensed. Who wore cowboy hats outside of what used to be Texas? What the hell was that all about? Enid's pounding heart slammed into the back of her throat as his head started to turn towards the alley and she moved just in time. None of the others had noticed her but he had. Why?
"Carl? You okay?"
"...yeah. Yeah, I'm fine."
The boy continued on but Enid knew that he was glancing back at her hiding place. Once she was sure the coast was clear, she found the loose far corner panel and nudged it aside just enough for her to slip through. She needed to clear her head before taking her afternoon nap.
Running would do that.
/
"I found this in the house. Is it yours?"
"No, that's Enid's."
"Who's Enid?"
"She's our age. She came in last September. She didn't talk for a month but now, she farms and does stuff with bees. She'll show up looking for it and the rest of her stuff soon. Just keep it."
"I can take it to her. It sounds like she's busy."
"She always is. If you want to go and bug her, be my guest. I'm gonna go get some lemonade. Mikey, you want anything while I'm downstairs?"
"No, I'm good."
16-year-old Carl Grimes' brow furrowed as Ron left the room, stomping down the stairs. Apparently, he had just said something wrong. Either that or these Alexandrians were even weirder than he thought. No, that wasn't fair. The Alexandrians weren't weird. They were just normal. It was like the world had never changed for them. Most, if not all of them, had been behind the Walls from the beginning and it definitely showed. They weren't scared. They felt totally secure behind their Walls and Carl both envied and pitied them for it.
They were in for a very rude awakening.
A part of him wanted to be the one to wake them up, to make them see, but a larger part was just happy that Alexandria was real. It didn't feel like Terminus. Deanna and Reg Monroe weren't like The Governor. There were actual houses with running water. There was food and weapons here. When he had turned in his gun to follow the rule, he had glimpsed one hell of an arsenal. Carl didn't agree with the 'no guns behind the Walls' rule. At least they could keep their blades but he still didn't like it.
Yes, knives and other blades could work well. Michonne and her katana had proven that fact tenfold. It was still a really bad idea to cut people off from their best defense, even in the name of order. Although, what happened at The Prison proved that even guns could be useless if the people attacking were strong enough, ruthless enough, evil enough...
"Don't mind him. Ron's just...he likes Enid. A lot. A really whole lot but she's not into him. He knows that and he's pissed off about it. Ron wants her to change for him, which is bullshit. Enid's doing fine as she is. She still doesn't talk to a lot of people and when she hangs with us or with the others, she doesn't stay for long unless she's reading one of her books."
"How come?"
"She usually says that she has work to do but she was all by herself when she came up to the Gate last year. No parents or Group so she's been through hell. Maybe she feels like she shouldn't get close to anyone because it would hurt too much if she lost them. That makes sense, doesn't it?"
"It does. I'm gonna go now. I need to check on my sister."
"Okay. It was nice to meet you, Carl. I hope you and your family get to stay here."
"So do I. See you later."
"Bye."
Carl left the Anderson house and heaved a big sigh of relief as he got away. Jessie, Ron, and Sam were all right but Pete made his skin crawl. There was something more to the man, something sinister like The Governor. Even when he laughed and joked around, his eyes stayed dead. Carl also smelled alcohol fumes coming from his skin despite it being pretty early in the day. He remembered the scent being on Bob during his early days at The Prison and on Shane towards the end of their time on The Farm. Abraham had started to smell like it while they were on the journey towards D.C. The smell only showed up when people chugged booze like water on the regular.
But wasn't Pete supposed to be the Community's doctor? Eric said that he was and he kept a fully stocked Red Cross duffel bag in his living room. Why the fuck was Pete chugging booze like water if he was the Community's doctor? That wasn't good. Also, the way that his family looked at him? The way that they flinched before and after he touched them? That wasn't good at all.
Carl's gut instincts were screaming at him to get away from the Andersons and to keep Judith far away from them. Pete may be the bad one but the others were too weak and sheltered to look after her. They couldn't even take care of themselves properly. They would definitely get her killed.
Jessie had offered to babysit but Carl would make sure that his dad didn't let her or any other Alexandrians do so. All of them were too weak and naïve. Until they got stronger (or were killed), Carl would continue to watch Judith or let one of their Group members do it. People like Maggie or Daryl. That way he could be sure that Judith would be as safe as the world allowed her to be.
Just because they were behind Walls now didn't mean that they didn't need to be careful.
Noah's Community had been behind Walls. The Prison had Walls and Fences but...
Carl's dreams were haunted by the sight of his sister's empty and bloody pink carrier. He was still tortured by that feeling of certain loss. His sister had been blown apart by the tank or Devoured by Walkers because he hadn't been there to protect her. Along with that lingering demon, Carl had nightmares about Gareth and the Termites eating her like they did to Bob's leg. All of his nightmares involved his sister, father, Michonne, his whole Group dying painfully and him being helpless to do anything to help them.
They had lost Amy, Jim, and Jacqui. They had lost Dale, Patricia, Merle, and Andrea. Shane had gone crazy and had to be killed so his father and the rest of the Group could keep living. His mother had died in childbirth and Carl had to be the one to Put Her Down. The Governor had murdered Axel and Oscar. They had lost Hershel right in front of their eyes, cruelly executed by The Governor. All of the Woodbury Citizens they had taken in were dead, lost either to the mass sickness that had infected the Prison or to The Governor's Last Stand. They had lost the Kids of the Prison like Luke, Molly, and Lizzie and Mika Samuels. They had just lost Bob, Beth, and Tyreese back to back to back, unable to help any of them.
So many people were Gone!
Carl didn't want to lose anyone else.
With the world being like it was now, Carl knew that death could and would return to his Group. It was inevitable but couldn't they have a break for a while? He was sick of burying people he loved. He was sick of having funerals and then having to go kill the assholes, Living or Dead, who had taken his friends away. He was sick of the world always trying to destroy them, destroy his sister...
Judith was alive. They had found her. Carol and Tyreese had kept her alive. Against all the odds, Judith was still alive and Carl was determined to be a better big brother to her. He wasn't going to let other people take care of and protect her like he used to. She deserved way better than that. Judith deserved to have a big brother who she could count on to always be there to protect her, especially when the shit hit the fan. She deserved to not just Survive but to Live.
Judith deserved to have a chance to grow up and be happy, just like he used to be. She deserved to have birthday parties and pizza and to have an actual childhood. His dad would hold his hand and walk with him when he was a toddler. When he did so, Carl felt like nothing could hurt him because his dad was right there. He felt safe and like he could do anything, be anything.
Carl wanted that feeling of safety for Judith.
He wanted to give that gift to her more than anything.
Helping Michonne and Aaron convince his dad to come here was a good first step but...
His dad was holding Michonne's hand.
They were sitting on their new house's porch swing. Judith was playing with a new pair of Dixie cups in Michonne's lap and Rick Grimes was holding her hand. He had shaved his beard off and taken a shower while waiting for Michonne to finish her Interview with Deanna Monroe. Carl met him on the sidewalk and he had seen the way they looked at each other when Michonne came outside. Judith had immediately reached for her and Michonne had taken her, kissing her brow tenderly before drawing him into a tight hug. Carl had been grateful for it.
His Interview had gone well but left him feeling raw. Talking about what they had been through lately, telling Deanna about what happened to his mom...he had needed the hug badly. His dad had removed his Hat and kissed the crown of his head before putting his arms around all of them.
Nearby Alexandrians and their Group had watched them and Carl knew what they were seeing.
In their eyes, the four of them looked like a family. They certainly felt like one.
Lately, his dad followed Michonne like he was her shadow and vice versa. They were talking about something right now and Michonne's smile was soft. His dad blushed and smiled back at her, twining their fingers together. Michonne looked down at their hands and nodded to herself before giving the swing a nudge to put it back in motion, making Judith squeal happily.
Were they...if they were, that would be amazing! After everything that happened with his mother and Shane, his dad and Michonne getting together would be perfect. Michonne was awesome. She was his best friend and kept his dad mostly sane. She kept all of them mostly sane. She came up with the best ideas to keep them on track and somewhat happy.
Michonne was the heart of The Group after Glenn. She would be perfect for anyone who wanted her but Carl was hoping that she would choose his dad to be her boyfriend. They made sense. Not to mention that if she made his dad her boyfriend, it would make them an official family.
In his heart, Carl had considered Michonne to be a part of the Grimes family for a long time. Everything that happened after The Prison cinched it. She was his stepmom and best friend. Judith knew her as her mother. Michonne held them all together. The four of them were good together, stronger and happier. Maybe his dad was catching up with the facts. He hoped so.
Knowing his dad and Michonne, if they thought he wouldn't be okay with them being a couple, then they wouldn't even bother trying so Carl would have to set the record straight with them.
He would take care of that before the end of the day. Right now, he had a comic to return.
Carl was really glad that he wasn't seeing ghosts like his dad used to after Lori Grimes passed away. When they were walking into the Community, he had felt someone watching them from an alleyway. They had been well hidden but Carl was hyperaware of his surroundings, despite being bone tired. He had to be. Before he could get a good look at them, they slipped away. Tara had asked if he was okay before he could follow and not wanting to alarm anyone, he had said yes.
The someone had probably been Enid.
Turning a corner, Carl stopped. In front of him was large fenced yard with an open gate. The tall fence was made of wrought iron and sheet metal panels. The open gate was made of the same tarp covered chain link fencing and heavy metal that the main Gate was. Entering, Carl was reminded of the garden that had been at the Prison, only much, much bigger.
There were wooden boxes of vegetables and fruits in various stages of growth. A plot of dirt was surrounded by white picket fencing and a large sign read: 'PUMPKIN PATCH COMING SOON...HOPEFULLY', making him snort. Carl could see cabbage, lettuce, and the tops of carrots in some boxes. He smelled onions and garlic, along with lavender and mint. Apples trees were blooming and in the sunniest areas there were lemon trees in large pots. Tomatoes and sugar snap peas climbed trellises. There were strawberries growing in large wicker containers, their leaves spilling out in every direction. The garden was amazing. Had Enid put it together all by herself? Likely not but Carl was sure that the lion's share of the work had been done by her.
Behind the yellow single-story with a basement house's backyard were 4 plowed and fenced off fields with their own heavy, tarp covered gates. A small tractor-plow and a green pickup truck were parked nearby. Each gate had a sign with a picture labelling what they were. If he had to guess, two of the fields were corn and potatoes. Carl wasn't sure what the rest were. The grain in the ground looked like wheat but it was too dark. Maggie and Eugene would definitely know. He would ask them later. Bunches of lavender were hanging to dry on the enclosed porch and there was another porch swing wedged in the left corner. Porch swings were everywhere, it seemed.
Reassuring Carl was the red boxing bag hanging on the right side and the jump rope draped over a weightlifting bench. Barbells, several free weights and a bright pink medicine ball was next to it. There was also a chin up bar that could be attached to wherever she wanted it to be. Carl recognized all of the equipment because his dad and Shane used to work out in the garage together before everything changed. Enid wasn't just a farmer and a beekeeper. She was a fighter. She had taught herself how to fight and kept herself ready for anything. That was good.
She was one less Alexandrian that they would have to protect and teach things to.
Walking further, Carl saw all sorts of pretty flowers in bloom and heard the buzzing of bees. A few of them were hovering near the sunflowers and roses. A large rolling container full of farming tools was next to a white wooden bench. There were several stacks of fertilizer, mulch, and wooden pallets behind them. Five sheds like he used to see at hardware stores were the furthest away, shaded by oak trees. They had their own fence and tarp covered gate. The five sheds been connected into one. Was that where the bees were kept? Was that where the honey was?
Looking around and not seeing any sign of human life, Carl decided to try the house.
The bottom stair creaked underneath his foot and Enid was immediately in the doorway, ready to defend herself. Her raised fists were covered by black leather fingerless gloves and brass knuckles, even as she napped. She also slept with a knife. Carl ignored the urge to smile at her. He didn't know if doing so would make her attack him. Everybody had their Triggers and a smile could be one for her. He didn't know if that was true in her case but Carl did know that had respect for her already. Enid was definitely someone who knew how to survive with and without Walls.
"Who the hell are you? Why are you here? What do you want from me?"
Her voice was soft with the promise of power and she sounded like she was from the Midwest.
"Hi, Enid. I'm sorry for waking you up."
"That's mine."
She was pointing at the comic and he held it out to her immediately.
"I found it in the house. Ron and Mikey told me it was yours so I wanted to give it back."
"...thanks. Did you like it?"
"It was really good. Kind of confusing in places but really good."
"It's the ninth one in a series of 20. I have them all. You gotta read the rest so you can get it."
Enid came outside and sat down on the top step, sizing him up. She had celery colored eyes and she squinted against the sunlight before yawning loudly. Her gray combat boots were dirt stained with doubled knotted black laces. She had on a pair of dark wash jeans and one of those blue sleeveless button-up tops that his mother used to wear all the time. A large red bowling jacket was tied around her waist and her honey colored hair was pulled into a low side ponytail. Slowly, Enid took her knife and stabbed it deep into the railing. The blade left a crack in the white wood and Carl was impressed by the detail on the hilt as she twisted it slowly.
"Cool knife."
She flipped it into the palm of her hand and sighed wistfully as she looked down at it.
"It was my mom's. Pass me my comic book, please. Thank you. You got a name, Scarecrow?"
"My name is Carl. Carl Grimes."
"Hello, Carl Grimes. You already know my name. How old are you?"
"I'm 16. How old are you?"
"I turned 17 last month. It's July 19th."
"It is?"
"According to Olivia and Spencer's calendars, yeah."
"Then I'm 17, too. My birthday was on June 27th."
"June 11th. I'm from what used to be Michigan. I hear Deep South in your voice."
"You should because I'm from what used to be Georgia."
"Are you for real?"
"Most of my Group lived in and around Atlanta before everything went to shit. Noah's from around here. Abraham, Rosita, and Eugene are from Texas. Houston, I think."
"Wow. Most folks nowadays can't even make it across the street safely much less all the way up here from Georgia and Texas. Good job, Sport. If I had a gold star handy, I would give it to you."
Carl chuckled and her lips curved upwards in the faintest of smiles. He had made her smile!
After stretching and yawning again, Enid grabbed her things and headed for the front door.
"...you knew my first name already because you were in the alley watching us. I saw you."
She froze in the doorway but didn't turn back around.
"I saw you, Enid. You were there. You were. Don't lie to me."
"...I was there because I had to make sure that your Group weren't a bunch of assholes."
"What do you think of us so far?"
"The jury's still out. You just got here, after all. Go on home and make yourself look spiffy. The Monroes are gonna be hosting a welcome party for you guys tonight. Any excuse to get everyone crammed in a room like sardines together and they'll take it with both hands. I guess it's part of how they cope with how fucked everything is. The food will be good. The music will suck dick."
"Will you be there, too?"
Her reply was a hastily slammed and locked door. Carl laughed and walked away, shaking his head. Enid wasn't as nice as the rest of the Alexandrians he had met so far. A strong case could made for her being downright rude, especially with the nickname she had chosen for him, but she was real. What she said was what she meant. What you saw was what you got.
He liked that.
/
"Do you want something to drink? Are you hungry?"
"No. Where's Carl?"
"Who?"
"Carl Grimes. New kid. Southern, skinny, nice with questionable taste in headgear? Where is he?"
"Why do you want to know where he is? What's going on?"
"Ron, do you know where he is or not? If not, can you go get someone who does?"
"...he's in the guest room watching his little sister. She just learned how to crawl."
"Thank you. Try the salad. It's really good. The squirrel jerky gives it a nice kick. Sup, Mikey?"
"Hi, Enid. Come on, man. Aiden brought back more games. He's got the PS2 on downstairs."
"No, thanks. I'm gonna go check on my mom and Sam. See if they're ready to go yet."
Enid rolled her eyes after Ron left the kitchen in a snit. She hadn't been to one of the Monroe parties since she found the gardening book. Now, she remembered why. Being surrounded by so many people, people who had absolutely no clue about what the world was really like now had been like listening to nails being scratched on a thousand chalkboards.
Who cared if someone needed their braces off? Who cared about pasta makers or mostly dead cellphones? What did any of that matter when they were surrounded by danger? The naivety was just too much, not to mention all of the looks she got, the sad whispers in her wake. Poor little orphan girl, all by herself and so angry. God, it was like she was made of ice. She would look at you and let you see just how disgusted she was. She didn't even say hello when approached. It was always 'what do you want?' or even just 'what?'
It was such a shame because she was really pretty and damned good at farming. If she would just learn to relax and open up, then maybe she would be able to have a good life like they did.
All of them could take their "concern" and fuck right off!
Enid didn't want or need their pity and judgement. They were the ones who needed to be pitied. They were the ones who needed to be judged. Just about every person in Alexandria was nothing but a sheep waiting to be slaughtered. It was only a matter of time and...
"Be careful, Enid."
"Why?"
"Because of Ron. He's my friend, don't get me wrong, but there is something that's just not right inside of him. He's on the edge and I don't want him to come after you when he loses it."
"I'm not his mom and he's not his piece of shit sperm donor. No one hurts me and gets to walk away. When it hits the fan and splatters everywhere, I'll be fine or I'll go down swinging."
"I know you will. I just wanted to warn you anyway because you're my friend, too."
"...you're good, Mikey. Don't let The Fucked New World and this place's bullshit ruin that."
"I'll try."
The Monroe House's guest room was upstairs at the end of the hallway. When Enid stopped in the doorway, she felt what was left of her heart soften. Carl's sister was speed crawling now, babbling joyfully. She had on a pink dress, black tights, and a pair of gray Mary Janes that matched her hooded teddy bear sweater. Carl was on the carpeted floor playing with her, following her closely without interfering with her progress. His Stetson was off and his mahogany hair was falling into his eyes, eyes that were the same color of his flannel shirt.
The periwinkle flannel was layered over the gray thermal he had been wearing earlier and he had on different jeans than before, black instead of dark wash. His brown boots were tied tightly but Enid could tell that they were two different shoes. There was also duct tape in strategic places but the soles were solid. He really could use a new pair of shoes, though...
The baby was heading straight for the door and Enid immediately sat down to block her exit. She didn't want to risk the baby falling down the stairs. That wouldn't be good. Enid set aside the gray document pouch she held just in time. A surprised huff of laughter escaped her as the baby boldly crawled into her lap. She didn't even hesitate.
Not only that but the baby grabbed two fistfuls of her beige sweater and leveraged herself up, getting right in her face. Big hazel eyes looked at her with no fear and her triumphant grin was broad, showing off a few teeth and nubs that would be teeth.
Before she could stop herself, Enid returned the gesture and gave the happy baby a squeeze. She smelled like soap, applesauce, and baby powder. Carl's little sister was absolutely fucking precious. She looked like the Gerber baby or a little blonde cherub come to life. She was also a very good sign regarding the Grimes Group's overall dynamic. Bad Groups never took good care of babies, kids, the injured, or the elderly. Even if they were blood family, in a bad Group, anyone who was seen as a burden was left behind or sacrificed as soon as possible.
The Grimes Group wasn't like that. They were good people. They were strong and smart.
"Judith, come back here."
The baby's response was fascinated cooing and gentle tugging at Enid's necklace.
"Judith..."
"Don't worry about it, Carl. She's fine where she is."
"Are you sure? I can take her if you need me to."
"Yeah, I'm sure. Hi, Judith. You're mobile now, huh? You gonna help fuck some shit up?"
"Probably. Her nickname is actually Lil' Asskicker."
"Are you for real?"
"Yeah. Daryl came up with it when we were at The Prison."
A Prison? They had been in a Prison? How had they gotten in without being killed and why did they leave? Who and what had made them leave such a good stronghold?
"I like it. It gives her a good goal to strive for...yeah, so I was looking for you downstairs."
"Why?"
"I told you earlier. You read the ninth one. There's 20 so you have to read all of them. I'm re-reading the other half but I brought you the first half so you can like it and understand it. Here."
Enid nudged the document pouch forward with her boot and Carl accepted it shyly, making her purse her lips against another smile. Apparently, Judith didn't have a monopoly on being precious.
That was both good and bad to know.
"Thank you."
"Don't lose any of them and don't bend the corners while you read. That's the worst."
"I know, right? Michonne likes comics, too. Is it okay if I share these with her?"
"She's the pretty lady with the katana, right?"
"Yeah. She's awesome. She's my best friend and Judith loves her."
"Is she your stepmom?"
"She asked my dad to be her boyfriend earlier and he said yes so I think she will be eventually."
"Cool. I think Judith wants to get moving again. I'll guard the door. You two have fun."
"...thank you, Enid."
"You're welcome."
/
The Next Morning...
"We just got here and Slim already has himself a girlfriend. That's some good work right there."
"Who?"
"The angry farmer girl. She showed up to last night's festivities looking like a walking middle finger but after she spent some time with your boy and Lil' Asskicker upstairs, she was glowing like a firefly. Plus, she shared her comic books with him. That's as huge as horse dick."
Everyone looked at him expectantly but Carl continued feeding Judith. She needed to eat and the oatmeal that Carol had made was delicious, which was saying something. Carl hated oatmeal. He always had but after being so hungry On the Road, having it to eat was amazing. Having oatmeal and options that weren't dog or rain water was amazing.
He was sharing a bowl with Judith but made sure that she got most of it. His sister needed the food more than he did. She was crawling like a champ already and with crawling came walking, then running. She needed all the nutrition and energy she could get and...
"Carl?"
He sighed and replied, "Enid was just being nice."
"Scuttlebutt says that nice ain't a part of her DNA. She's more like Wednesday Addams than Strawberry Shortcake so you must've made a hell of a good impression on her. I'm proud of you, kid. Do you need The Talk? Some rubbers from the Infirmary?"
"Anybody getting The Talk from you needs to do the exact opposite, you big red pendejo."
"You wound me deeply, Ms. Espinosa!"
"Not deep enough. You're still talking."
Carl grinned as Rosita and Abraham continued their playful bickering, thankful that she had stepped in. One of the problems in their Group was the lack of privacy. Being so close was key to Survival but sometimes, there needed to be boundaries. He didn't really mind the teasing but he knew that eventually his dad, Michonne, or someone close to him like Glenn would be looking for answers. Carl didn't have them yet and he deserved the time needed to figure things out.
How did he feel about Enid?
Obviously, he liked her. Carl knew when he had a crush on someone. He had felt those feelings for Sophia, Beth, and Lizzie before it became clear that she was the bad kind of crazy. He was definitely feeling that but in a deeper way. There was something about Enid that drew him in. She was strong, stronger than the majority of the Alexandrians, but she was fragile.
There was deep hurt inside of her, a hurt that he recognized in himself. Bad things had happened to her, too. If anything, whatever happened to her was worse than what happened to him because she had been all alone during and after the trouble. At least he hadn't been alone. Even when things were at their absolute worst, Carl had someone with him to protect him and to help him heal. Not Enid. What had happened to her?
Who had happened to her?
Carl wouldn't ask, no matter how much he wanted to. The hurt Enid felt was too big to put into words right now. He understood so he wouldn't push her. She would talk about it when she was ready to talk about it and not a second before. Besides, Carl knew full and damned well that if he pushed her, she would definitely push back and it would hurt like a bitch.
Firm knocking on the yellow side door broke through his reverie and everybody tensed up. A lot of Alexandrians had shown up to drop off supplies and to introduce themselves but it was instinct to tense. Just because they were behind Walls now didn't mean that assholes couldn't get inside of them or weren't already living inside of them. Pete Anderson was a good example of that. Seeing his dad, Daryl and Michonne move, he stood up to join them. They fought best together and...
"Enid?"
Carl stepped forward and opened the door for her, blocking her way inside.
"Good morning, Carl. Hi, Mr. and Mrs. Grimes. Sup, Hell's Angel. Here."
A large shoebox was thrust into his arms and Carl looked between it and her with wide eyes.
"If you don't like them, pay them forward and I'll find you a better pair when I go out again."
"You didn't have to do this."
"I don't do anything that I don't want to do. You need new boots for winter because if your feet aren't protected right, you end up dead faster. Carl, your parents need you to live. Judith needs you to live. Your whole Group needs you to live so quit arguing with me, take the goddamned fucking boots, and say thank you, Enid."
Usually, if someone spoke to him in such a bossy tone of voice and swore at him outside of a crisis, he wouldn't listen. He would shut down or he would do the exact opposite of what they wanted but in this case? Carl just shrugged and obediently tucked the black shoebox under his arm. It wasn't like she was wrong and like when she shared her comic collection, Enid was being nice to him in her own way. To ignore her reaching out to him would be rude and stupid.
If he didn't open up, then she wouldn't either and Carl didn't want that to happen.
He wanted them to be equals.
He wanted them to be friends.
"Thank you, Enid."
"You're welcome. Anybody in your Group who knows how to farm or wants to learn how should come over to my place around noon to help out with planting, watering, and weeding. Normally, I'd do it myself but it's time to start getting product out of the hives. I have to harvest, strain, and jar everything so I can start making stuff like soap and candles. I need help."
"Maggie knows how to farm. My dad does, too. He used to do it at the Prison."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah."
"Cool. Later, Scarecrow. Merry Christmas."
"Wait!"
"What do you want?"
"Are you hungry? Carol made oatmeal and it's really good."
"...I could eat."
/
The plan had been to drop the boots off and get gone.
It was simple. Carl needed new shoes. Enid had seen the sizes on his mismatched pair, realized that they wore the same size and had decided to give him one of hers. It wasn't a loss at all. Enid had another pair of combat boots, a pair of green floral print high heeled boots she would likely never wear, and two pairs of black Converse high tops to go along with her current boots.
Feet were one of the most important body parts to protect from getting hurt, right up there with eyes and hands. If a person's feet weren't properly protected, if their shoes didn't have enough traction...Carl deserved better than to go out or get hurt like that. He was a good person and Enid wanted to help him stick around.
Carl Grimes was a genuinely good person.
Him not being in the world anymore would make it even more fucked than it already was.
Why she felt that way so soon after meeting him was anyone's guess.
Anyway, a task that had been supposed to take 5 minutes, maybe 10 at the most, had turned into 45 minutes and counting of her explaining just how she got the garden and apiary started while stuffing her face with the most amazing oatmeal. What did Carol put in it, magic?
It had also led to her getting vital information about Alexandria's new residents.
Rick and Michonne Grimes were definitely the LEADERs of their Group but they were far from tyrants. Everyone got a say in decisions and everyone was important. Yes, Carl and Judith were their top priorities, rightfully so since they were their blood and step family, but Enid knew that every member of their Group was considered to be part of a whole. They were in this world together for the long haul. Rick and Michonne were strong, the strongest of them all, but the same organic type of goodness that she sensed in Carl came from them. Enid liked them.
Maggie was the brunette supermodel who could farm and Glenn was her husband. Both of them were genuinely kind and Glenn's optimism was refreshing to hear. They were good people and an excellent couple. Mullet Man's name was Eugene and he was pretty much a mad scientist. He was easily one of the most awkward people she had ever met but he was intelligent, making him more of an asset than a liability in the long term, even with his lingering cowardice.
Carol who had made the glorious oatmeal was the BAMF grandma of the Group or more like the BAMF aunt. Stress and lots of sadness made her look older than she actually was. She wasn't to be fucked with, though. Underneath that shiny happy homemaker exterior was a Warrior. She had been through hell and back again but she was still standing tall. She hadn't given up yet.
Enid already respected her.
Hell's Angel's name was Daryl. He was gruff but warm and he knew how to hunt well. Enid would show him the main routes local game took at a later time, if he didn't figure them out on his own. His crossbow and various foraging skills had gotten the Grimes Group through many a jam. Army Barbie's name was Rosita and Big Red's name was Abraham. They were more than capable and provided a lot of comic relief, especially Big Red. Some of the phrases that came out of his mouth would've fit right in on an HBO stand-up comedy stage.
The Priest who had left after a particularly vivid word picture's name was Gabriel and he reeked of cowardice. He wasn't malicious but he was definitely scared and carrying a lot of guilt inside of him. Why? Enid didn't know but she was sure that a crisis of Faith was at the center of his inner turmoil. Gabriel was weak like many of the Alexandrians but if he had managed to survive after being On the Road for so long, then there was hope for him yet.
The Army Sniper who had headed for the Gate after cleaning her dish's name was Sasha and she was heartbroken, almost spirit broken. She had lost someone recently, likely more than one someone who had meant the world to her. While she was legitimately angry and prone to lashing out at people, Enid knew the truth about her. She lived that truth every day.
The same deep heartbreak was felt by Noah with the healing ankle. Carl mentioned that he was from around the area and he was only a year older than them. The fact that he wasn't with his family right now spoke volumes. They were either missing or Gone already. Nirvana fan's name was Tara. Like the rest of the Group, there was sadness inside of her but like Glenn, she had a refreshing sense of optimism and she was fucking hilarious. Tara did Runs with Glenn, Daryl and Noah. That was good. Enid had been thinking about joining a Crew or forming her own long before the Grimes Group arrived but her options had been less than ideal, to say the least.
Aaron and Eric could definitely get it done but they were already swamped.
Heath and his Crew were capable but they were a little too naïve for her tastes. They wouldn't get her killed or anything like that but she would have to spend a lot of time explaining The Order of Things. Doing so with Sam was one thing. He was 10 and on his own. Doing it with adults who should know better by now was not her cup of tea. Enid knew that she didn't have the patience and the last thing she wanted was to hurt their feelings. They were the Crew that got things done.
Aiden and Nicholas got people killed or injured. There had been 4 people lost on one Run recently and usually, somebody would come back hurt. The world they lived in was unpredictable and dangerous. Enid called it The Fucked New World for good reason. Any and everything bad could happen but there was only so much blame that the world could take on. Aiden Monroe was bold, brash, and more than a little stupid. Nicholas was the typical Yes Man and they were a recipe for disaster. Not to mention the way that Aiden looked at her sometimes made her skin crawl.
He was likely counting the days until she turned 18, if he even cared about that anymore.
Enid knew that she was the only viable option for pussy in his eyes. Everyone else in Alexandria was already taken, too old, too young, not pretty enough to be considered or related to him. That was a big part of Ron's fixation on her, too. Ron and his awful sperm donor...
"Do you guys have a doctor in your Group?"
"We used to. Why?"
"Because Pete's a piece of shit drunk bastard that's gonna drink himself to death or get stabbed before winter, that's why. Denise has medical training but she's a shrink, not a surgeon. She's also really shy. When she comes out to get more books to read, Pete makes sure to keep her away from the Infirmary and talk down to her because he's a dickhead. Having a drunk surgeon is worse than having no surgeon at all. You'd be better off letting a Chomper patch you up but the Monroes haven't accepted that yet. I hope they do before it's too late. We've got Denise and I know how to cut off limbs, do small stitches, fish out bullets, and catch a baby but if someone ever ends up needing real surgery, they're screwed. How are the boots, Carl? Are they okay?"
"They're awesome."
"Good. Thanks for breakfast everybody but I've got a lot of work to do."
"Hang on. I'll walk you home."
"I don't need you to do that."
"...I know. Dad, Michonne, I'm going out."
"All right. Be safe and have fun."
"Keep your guard up and be back before sundown."
"Okay, Dad."
/
"I had a bad feeling about Pete but I thought I was just being paranoid."
"Not this time, Sport. He's bad. Stay away from him."
"Does he...I know he drinks too much but is his family...does he hurt them?"
"All the time. It sucks but since he's the only doctor, he gets away with it. It's not fair."
"Carol's husband was like that. His name was Ed and he used to hit her and Sophia all the time."
"Sophia?"
"Carol's daughter. She was my best friend. We met after everything changed."
"How did she die? Was it Chompers or Humans?"
"Walkers. She got separated from us when a Herd came through the highway we were on. We tried to find her alive, we really did but she was Bit and she Turned. Dad had to Put Her Down."
"I'm sorry that happened to her."
"Me too. She deserved better."
"People will always die but that doesn't mean that it ever stops hurting."
"I wish it did."
"...Chompers ate my parents. They were trying to fix our SUV and two swarms came out of nowhere. Before I could even finish warning them, they were Gone. I couldn't help them."
Carl nodded solemnly and stretched his legs out, still relishing the feel of his new boots. They were camo green and steel toed with plenty of room. The black rubber soles were thick and had great traction. He could no longer feel every pebble, root, and twig try to poke through the bottom of his feet. Mud wasn't an issue, anymore. The laces were dark brown and the insides of the boots even had special massaging supporting insoles, making him feel as if he were walking on cushions.
Instead of going back to her place, Enid had decided to walk around the ASZ for a while. Carl had stopped briefly but when she gave him a confused look over her shoulder, he jogged to catch up with her. After about an hour, Enid had led him across an overgrown field of grass and had calmly pulled two pieces of L-shaped piping out of her backpack.
To his amazement, she began to use them as a moving ladder to scale the Walls. She slid the pipes inside of the columns and pulled herself up with ease. When Enid got to the top, she gave him another look before abruptly sliding out of sight.
Carl's heart had stopped at the sight and it took every bit of his control not to call out to her. Enid obviously knew what she was doing. She wouldn't have lasted an hour by herself if she didn't. He just needed to calm down and wait. Plus, if she landed wrong, Carl would've known by the ugly sound of breaking bones. Sure enough, after about 10 seconds, Enid started directing him towards a weak spot in the Walls via tapping. Once he had found the place, he had carefully slipped through and she had been waiting for him.
They walked and ran through the woods together, Enid leading the way. She had shown him a grove of trees with the leaves already turning in places. There was a barn similar to the one that Aaron found them by a small but deep river. Using an egg timer, they had baited several Walkers and she had taken one out with her mother's knife, thrown over her shoulder without looking.
The longer Carl knew her, the more convinced that Enid was a badass with a heart of gold.
God, she was so fucking cool!
The day had heated up and he tied his jacket around his waist, resisting the urge to offer it to her. After playing Follow the Leader for a while, he fell into step beside her and Enid's free hand brushed against his questioningly. Surprised but pleased, Carl accepted it immediately and twined their fingers together. Once the breeze picked up, he put his jacket back on. Once he was set, they had started running again afterwards, side by side with the wind blowing her hair everywhere.
Running with her was so much fun. It had been a long time since he felt so free and happy.
Enid wasn't wearing a pair of gloves or brass knuckles at the moment so he could feel just how soft her hands were. Even with the calluses from farming, they were still so soft. Enid's hand could fit in his with room to spare. Both of them could probably fit and Carl was struck by just how small she really was. Not to say that he was a giant but Enid had a personality and aura that felt much larger than she actually was.
Turning his head, Carl saw that she was watching him closely but he didn't feel uncomfortable. Enid was looking at him with curiosity, not judgement. There was a maple leaf caught in her hair and he gently removed it, passing it to her shyly. She accepted it and the lingering sadness in her verdant gaze, the raw heartbreak...
"What else happened to you? Before you got here?"
Carl had told himself not to push her earlier but he couldn't help it.
He wanted to know why she was so sad and if anything could be done to make her feel better.
He wanted to be her friend. Enid needed friends.
She was all alone, even behind Alexandria's Walls, and that just wasn't right.
"...it doesn't matter. Not anymore."
"It does. I know. Bad things have happened to me, too."
"Bad people, too?"
"Bad people first. Some of the worst people in the world."
"The Living are more dangerous than The Dead. Chompers will just eat or Turn you and go away. Humans will stay and have so much fun hurting you that you would let yourself get Eaten just to make the pain stop. It's not right or fair but it's how things are."
"Enid..."
The all too familiar sound of snarling wet moans had them on their feet, looking around warily.
"We need to go. It sounds like a lot."
It smelled like a lot, too. Walkers always smelled awful but when many would roam together, their combined scent was choking. Walkers smelled like every bad thing anyone could imagine.
Enid led him to a nearby hollow tree and they got inside of it quickly. Carl had to take his Hat off so he could fit better and she shifted closer to him. Her mother's knife was in her hand and she was shaking slightly as Walkers began to appear. Again, Carl felt the urge to give her his jacket but he ignored it in favor of watching the passing Herd closely. As long as they were quiet, it was likely that they would be ignored by the Walkers but Carl knew better than to drop his guard. It only took half a second for things to go wrong. One wrong step or decision and...
"It's their World. We're just living in it."
Although Enid's words were bitter, the wistfulness when she told him about her mother's knife was present. Looking at her, Carl could see tears threatening to spill out of her eyes. She was shaking harder and he wasn't sure if it was because of their close call or from something else. Slowly, Carl pulled her into a hug, giving her plenty of time to pull away if she wanted to. Shocking him to the bone, Enid immediately buried her face in his chest and held onto him.
It was like after his Interview with Deanna. Enid needed to feel safe. She was feeling raw and exposed. She was strong but she was still 17. She was only 17 and she had been through hell. A lot of people forgot that about her. Enid wanted people to forget that about her but he couldn't.
Carl couldn't forget anything about her if he tried.
Why he felt that way about her so soon after meeting her, he couldn't say but it was the truth.
The truth was still something to be cherished, even when it turned out to be sad and ugly.
After a minute, he tried to pull away but Enid held on tighter, shaking her head.
"Don't let go."
Nodding, he carefully moved them backwards and when the tree held his weight, relaxed.
They would be there for a while and that didn't bother him at all.
Carl was willing to hug Enid for as long as it took for her to start feeling better.
She needed it.
When was the last time someone had hugged her?
When was the last time someone had listened to her feelings without judging her?
Her trembling fingers slid through his hair and he leaned into the touch, wanting more of it.
Enid made him feel better, too. She helped remind him that there was still good in the world.
"You're gonna be okay, Enid."
"...you don't know that. No one knows that."
"I hope you'll be okay."
A long beat of silence and then, "I hope you'll be okay, too, Carl. You deserve that."
/
Two Weeks Later...
Fear was an emotion that she was used to feeling now.
Fear had kept her alive and smart.
Fear was something to push through to make her stronger, to keep her ready for anything.
Anything except for Carl Grimes, apparently.
"Damn it."
Enid sighed and turned onto her back, staring up at the ceiling. Instead of using the rooms on the main level, Enid used the basement as her living space. The basement was finished. It had a kitchenette with a large bathroom attached. There was also a second exit that led directly to the backyard that she barricaded. She used the main level for her projects, indoor workouts, and for her afternoon naps. Once she and Carl had gotten back safe, Enid had told him that she had work to do, wanting to get away from him. He had looked at her for a long time before his lips quirked in something that looked like a smile but wasn't.
He had simply nodded and headed home, leaving her staring after him.
Her heart had screamed at her to follow him but she ignored it.
She needed to stay away from him. She needed get her mind right.
Carl didn't push her when he saw her. They saw each other at The Pantry or by the gazebo that he liked to sit on top of. He didn't bring up what had happened between them. He didn't tell any of his Group members or his parents about it. Enid knew that because none of them had confronted her about it. Carl didn't ask what their interlude meant. He didn't try to convince her to hang out or to let him save her. He gave her all the space she needed, the hug that she...
Giving up on going back to sleep, Enid swung her legs over the side of her bed and went upstairs. She didn't need to turn any lights on or light a candle to get around. She could get by on her own.
After all the shit that happened to her, she had no choice but to learn how do so.
Enid hadn't been hugged by anyone since before her parents died. She had spent so much time on her own afterwards that she had become fiercely protective of her personal space. Anyone could be hiding a weapon on them. Anyone could be waiting to knock her out, stab her, or gun her down to take what little resources she had. Anyone could be looking to cop a feel or to try and force themselves on her. Pretty Young Thing, all by herself, no parents or Group in sight? To some out there and inside of Alexandria, it made her the ripest, juiciest target.
After all, the world needed to be repopulated. She should be willing to do her part and god knows with that shitty attitude of hers, she could use a good, hard...
Shaking her head, Enid sat down in the grass, gazing up at the night sky.
Even though it was partially covered by clouds, the full moon was still bright and beautiful.
Carl treated her like she was a person, not a conquest or a lost soul that needed saving.
He had been shy while reaching for her. He touched her like she was made of glass. He didn't want anything from her. He just wanted to try and make her feel better. They had been talking about heavy things before the Chompers came. Enid had said more than she meant to. He knew that. Carl understood her so letting him hug her, letting him touch her felt good. It felt right. Interacting with Carl and his Group felt right. Enid wasn't sure what to think about that. She was definitely scared, though. She knew that for sure. Carl scared the living shit out of her. What he represented, how he already made her feel scared her and now, she had a decision to make.
Would she face the fear or would she run away?
Nothing was really keeping her in Alexandria. Yes, she was a farmer and a beekeeper but that could be done anywhere. She had made connections with people but none deep enough for her to miss them when they were gone. There were more humans around. There were other Communities out there. There had to be. She could join them. They would be lucky to have her. Not only could she fight, she could grow things. That made her invaluable.
If joining another Community or Group didn't work out, she could go back to being nomadic. Her survival skills were top shelf. She could make it on her own.
However, Enid had created an identity for herself by being strong. Enid was known to take nobody's shit and to never ever back down from a challenge. Would she really let herself be culled by Feelings? After facing down Chompers and various kinds of assholes with little to no fear, would she really let a teenage crush make her run away like a coward? Having a crush on Carl could prove to be a problem but it wasn't the end of the world. Why was she acting like it was? Why was she being so melodramatic and...
The garden's locked gate rattled and she unsheathed her mother's knife. What the fuck? It was past 3 in the morning. What the hell was anyone doing up and walking around at 3 in the morning? The gate rattled harder and Enid stood as the sound of someone about to scale the fence replaced it. What was going on? Coming to the fence, she watched as a pink bedsheet rope was thrown over and as soon as the person landed heavily on the ground, Enid made her move.
She grabbed the intruder by the throat and the moonlight revealed their identity.
Sam Anderson was looking at her with wide eyes that were already spilling over with tears.
Not only was he terrified because she was pointing a blade in his face but because he had dropped his duffel bag of tools. Enid saw a lighter, cans of spray paint, toilet paper and a crowbar inside of it. Rage burned like acid in her veins. Going after his mother's sculptures was one thing. The owls were ugly and made way too much noise when the wind blew. Were they supposed to be wind chimes? If they were, then they didn't work because the racket they made wasn't even close to pretty. The owls were truly awful and Sam destroying them was honestly a public service.
Whatever he planned to do to the garden, to the bees? Was unacceptable. It was unforgiveable. Sam would damage or destroy one of Alexandria's primary sources of food. A person, a Community, couldn't survive without food. It had taken so much time and effort to get everything right. Enid had worked too hard for too damned long for his bullshit to ruin everything. Okay, Sam's actions were actually a cry for help and attention but in the current context, it was bullshit.
Having something happen to the crops and bees because of outside invaders or a drought would suck but it would be okay in the end. She could adapt to those situations easily. Enid wasn't sure if this would be okay in the end. She was not only angry at the attempted sabotage but very hurt. Of all the people that Sam could've lashed out at, people who actually deserved it, why did he pick her? Had his older brother put him up to it? That sounded like something Ron would do. Ron or another Alexandrian who was weak and petty like him...
Disgusted, Enid released him and Sam grasped the sleeve of her robe, trying to keep her from walking away. She swatted his hand away and the look she gave him when he reached for her again could have felled a red oak.
"Enid, I'm sorry."
"Yeah, you really are. Leave and don't ever come back. You come back here and you're dead."
"But..."
"Take your sorry ass home, Sam. Now."
"Enid, please..."
"Leave!"
Sam ran off crying but Enid didn't care about his hurt feelings. Not anymore. Grabbing the bag of evidence, she stalked back to the porch. She threw her mother's knife into one of the porch's columns before going back inside. Sam's bag of tricks was slammed onto the plush floral print couch. The main level was still dark and Enid knew that she was shaking too much to get back to the basement safely. With that in mind, Enid sat down in the furthest corner of the living room and grabbed the gray duffel bag she always kept ready to go.
Moving aside her clarinet case, she pulled out a large gray stuffed cat. His name was Chairman Meow and she had kept him from the age of 2.
Holding him to her chest, Enid buried her face in the plush and started sobbing.
/
"Hey."
"...hey."
"Can I come in?"
"Sure. Close the door behind you."
Carl came to her and watched as she fiddled with the long silver necklace she was wearing. The ASZ had been rocked by the news of Sam Anderson's failed raid on the garden. Enid had shown up to the Anderson House as soon as the sun was up with his duffel bag. The yelling from Pete had woken everyone up. Jessie had taken Sam into her arms to protect him and Ron had just stood there. Eventually, his dad, Michonne, Maggie, and Deanna had gone over there to calm things down but Carl doubted that anything would change quickly. Pete was the only doctor around and that gave him, as well as his family, some protection from consequences.
Something needed to be done, though. There was only so much bullshit that could be ignored, even for the sake of the Greater Good. The Anderson family, Pete in particular, was starting to become far more trouble than they were worth. All of them were unstable and it would only take one big crisis for them to buckle under pressure. None of them needed that happening.
"...he didn't get to do anything. I stopped him before he could but I'm still mad."
"Walls don't mean anything if the people behind them don't have anything to eat. You're trying to help and Sam wanted to mess that up. That's not right. He's not right."
"I know why he did it. His family sucks and he can't do anything about it so he wrecks shit."
"My dad and Michonne are gonna to talk to the Monroes. See if they can make things better."
"It won't work."
"It will."
"The only thing that's gonna stop Pete is a bullet to the head. The Monroes won't go for that."
"They can make Pete move out and threaten to kick him out of here if he doesn't leave them alone. Just because he's the only doctor around doesn't mean that he can treat his family like shit. He wouldn't last an hour out there and he knows it. He'll stay in line to save his ass."
"Doing stuff like that didn't work Before. You think it'll work now?"
"Probably not but we still have to try. Enid, we can't just leave it."
"I know. I'm sorry. I know that I sound like a heartless bitch but I've been here for a while, Carl. I know exactly how this place works. Nothing is going really to change until someone and something fucked up happens. The best thing you can do is keep yourself, Judith, and your Group in one piece when it does. You guys are really cool. You've already survived so much and you don't deserve to die or get hurt because of these people's weakness and bullshit."
"These people?"
"These people. I may grow the food and keep the bees around here but Alexandria isn't my home and most of the people here aren't worth the time or effort of giving a damn about. I'm not going to pretend that they are."
"I get it. I don't like it but I get it."
"Just as long as you get it."
Enid let go of her necklace and started drawing 3 familiar letters on one of the windows.
"What do they mean? The letters? You put them everywhere."
"...Just Survive Somehow."
"You came up with that after your parents died, didn't you?"
"I did. What happened to your mom?"
"Her name was Lori. She went into labor with Judith while the Prison was under attack from Walkers. An inmate got mad at us for coming in and set off all the alarms to try and kill everyone, including his friends. Well, that and my dad beat his ass but he had it coming, I swear."
"I believe you. Scorched Earth Play: if I can't have it, then you can't either. Fuck you."
"I don't remember his name. I just remember him being an asshole that we should've made sure was dead but didn't. It cost us big. We lost a good man named T-Dogg because he got Bit while trying to close the fences. He saved Carol from getting Eaten, too. While we were looking for someplace safe to hide, we got separated from our doctor. His name was Hershel. He was Maggie's dad and awesome. Anyway, me, Maggie, and Mom ended up stuck in the Boiler Room and Judith was on the way. Mom tried to push her out but she couldn't so Maggie had to do a C-Section. She went into shock from losing so much blood and...I shot her in the head. I killed my mom in cold blood."
"No. She was already Gone so you did what had to be done. If you love someone, you don't let them Turn. You don't let them roam. You free them. You let them have peace. You did good."
"My brain knows all of that but my heart?"
"I get it."
"God, I was so fucking mad at her before it happened. I wanted to hate her but I couldn't."
"Why were you mad at her? What did she do?"
"She cheated on Dad with his best friend. She thought he was dead because he was in a coma before everything changed..."
"Seriously? How the hell did that happen?"
"He was a Sheriff's deputy and got shot in the line of duty after a high speed chase."
"I figured that he was in some kind of law enforcement. Deanna wouldn't have made him Constable if he didn't have the skills to do it right. So, your mom hooked up with his best friend afterwards, thinking that he was Gone but he really wasn't? There was a triangle?"
"Yeah. It was a huge mess. Shane lost it when mom chose dad over him so dad had to kill him. I had to Put Him Down afterwards and all the noise from it drew a huge passing Herd from Atlanta so we had to leave The Farm. That's how we ended up at The Prison."
"Fuck."
"Judith is probably my half-sister but I don't care about any of that DNA bullshit. No matter what, she's a Grimes and she's my heart. After The Governor's tank destroyed The Prison, I found her carrier. It was covered in blood and I thought she was Gone. I thought that she had been blown up, shot, or Eaten and everything just..."
Carl swallowed thickly and looked down at his boots. Reliving that moment, both in his dreams and waking thoughts, always took the wind out of him. Looking at the empty pink car seat, he had felt like a complete failure. His little sister had been depending on him to keep her safe and what did he do? He went off playing soldier and it had been for nothing. The Prison still ended up lost to The Governor's madness and his sister, his sweet and innocent sister...
Enid's hand rested on his shoulder and Carl shuddered, refusing to look at her.
"It's okay."
"No, it's not! I should've been there for her and..."
"Carl, Judith's alive. She's not dead and you can be here for her from now on. You're a good big brother. She loves and trusts you. Your parents and your Group love and trust you so you're not a useless piece of shit. You're a good person. You're strong and kind and good. You're too good for this Fucked New World, to be honest and that's why you..."
"What?"
"Nothing."
"Bullshit. What?"
"...you scare the hell out of me."
He looked at her and Carl's hurt was immediately replaced with understanding. Enid wasn't scared of him because she thought he was an asshole that would end up hurting her. Enid was scared of him because she was afraid to get close to people. She had lost her parents and all of her friends from Before. Unlike him, she had been all alone or surrounded by assholes afterwards so she had to come up with a way to keep going. Just Survive Somehow had come from that as did her way of speaking to people and dealing with them.
Enid was harsh so people would stay away from her. They wouldn't try to get close to her therefore she wouldn't have to open herself up to more pain. It was an elegant solution but a lonely one. Enid was hurt and lonely. She wanted to be included. She wanted to belong somewhere but...
"I get it."
"Do you?"
"Yeah, I do and if you want me to leave you alone from now on..."
"I don't want that."
"Then what do you want?"
"...can you hug me again? Please?"
/
Enid wasn't sure which one of them was more surprised by her request.
She stood her ground, though. The fear she felt around Carl was starting to become a challenge to conquer instead of a huge crisis, which made her happy. She already had so much to worry about. Carl didn't deserve to be lumped in with all of her nightmare fuel. He was too good for that.
The soft yet confused look he had given her when they returned to Alexandria was back in full force. Seeing it again was good. Enid wasn't the only one feeling something between them. Carl didn't see her like she saw most males. She wasn't a nuisance or a potential threat. She met him halfway and hid her face in his chest again. Carl smelled like soap, grass, and something uniquely him, something that made her feel safe. He was also very warm. He was a lot stronger than he looked, too.
Carl's left hand rested on the nape of her neck and his right was where her bra band was. Enid was wearing a pair of black overalls and a long-sleeved gray top. She still had the beige gloves she used while handling bees on but her safety googles were tucked in the front pocket. Her hair was down. After finishing her collecting for the day, Enid had added a bit of lavender to the smoker so she knew that she smelled like it. Like she had in the tree, Enid let her fingertips slide into his long brown hair. He liked it when she did that. Enid still marveled at how nice his hair was, how soft and thick. Carl had Disney Princess hair during the Apocalypse and it was hilarious.
"You don't have to be scared of me."
"I don't want to be but I am. I'm sorry."
"It's okay."
"I meant what I said, Carl. You're a good person. Don't let this world fuck you up."
"It's a little too late for that."
"Don't let this world fuck you up and make you into an asshole. That would suck."
"I'll do my best. So, how does all of this work? The bees?"
Grateful for the change of subject, Enid stepped back and knocked on the nearest hive's lid.
"All of these boxes are hives. There are 8 boxes with 5 slots in each and the bottom two are where the Queen is. She lives there with the pollen and all the larvae. The rest of the hive is where the honey is and I harvest from the top. One hive can give more than enough stuff for everyone around here. If I don't mess things up, there can be up to 60 pounds of product in one. I have to collect from all of them so mold doesn't set in and ruin everything but the main one I get stuff from will be changed every season, provided that this place is still standing and I'm not dead, of course. You follow me so far?"
"Mm-hm. So, there's the Queen Bee..."
"Then, the worker bees. They're all girls. They do the collecting, the pollinating, the storing, the stinging, and all the good stuff. Boy bees? They're called drones and they don't do shit."
Carl's laughter was loud, warm, and wheezy. Hearing it made her grin. There was a constant soft rasp in his breathing and Enid wondered why. Did he have asthma or something?
"Okay, they have one very important job."
"Which is?"
"They get to bang the Queen and then they die right after they're done with her."
"They're living a pretty good life, then."
Enid looked at him incredulously and he grinned at her, actually making her laugh.
When was the last time she had really laughed? It had to be before The End...
"No, but they really do help keep things going. You see, the more boy bees that get at the Queen, the more diverse the gene pool is going to be later on and the better health the hive has. The lion's share of the work in a colony is done by girls. Girls run this bitch from pollination to harvesting."
"The best moves happen when girls take control of things. Trust me, I know. Michonne pushed for us to keep heading towards DC after we couldn't get Noah back home and now, we're here."
"Mm. So, there's honey and then there's the wax they use to seal the comb and if you're careful, you can score some royal jelly but you've got to be careful or you'll screw the Queen over because that's what she feeds on. If the Queen dies or leaves, the bees lose it until a new one comes."
"That makes sense. Why the smoke? What does it do?"
"Using the smoker is the best way to make the hive chill out. You're going to get stung regardless but the smoke stops their pheromones from realizing that there's a threat all at once and it makes things a lot easier."
"What happens after you get all the stuff out?"
"I put it in one of these big buckets and everything gets separated and jarred in the kitchen. After getting the honey where I want it to be, I start making soap, candles, candy, and booze."
"How?"
"I'll show you. Come on."
Enid opened the apiary's sliding door and came to a startled halt in the doorway.
"Ron? What are you doing here?"
How long had he been standing there waiting for her to come out?
Had he seen anything? Heard anything? It was doubtful that he had seen anything. The way she had built the apiary had most of the windows facing the house. The rest were shooter's nests. All of the windows had dark blue blinds that she kept tilted in a way that she could see outside but nobody could see in. As for hearing things...
"I just wanted to say sorry for what Sam tried to do yesterday. He shouldn't have done it."
"No, he really shouldn't have."
"You're doing good things here and he could've ruined everything like he always does."
That statement was telling. Enid knew that Ron was full of anger and angst but apparently, there was resentment festering inside of him, too. The 6 year age difference between Sam and Ron meant that he may have been a surprise. Ron had been an only child for a long time and apparently, he wasn't happy to have to share Pete and Jessie with another kid. With Sam's constant neediness and tendency to whine in play? It was yet another ugly element in the Anderson family.
Also, him saying that she was doing good things when she knew for a fact that he felt otherwise rankled. Ron was a liar. He was a liar and a manipulator. He was trying to get in her good books so he could get in her pants later. He may have convinced himself that he was in love with her and maybe he was in his own way but Enid knew what his goal was.
His goal was pussy. He wanted to get inside of her and claim her like she was a prize.
Ron wasn't getting in her pussy.
She didn't want him there.
She would never want him there.
Enid wasn't a carnival prize to be won and gloated about. She was a person with valid feelings.
She deserved to have a mature and rational companion, one who would try to understand her.
She deserved to be respected fully and cared for properly. She deserved to be nurtured.
Ron would never be able to do that. His upbringing and angst had ruined any chance of that.
"Sam didn't ruin anything because I stopped him before he could. It's cool."
"I'm still sorry."
"Apology accepted. Come on out, Carl. Everything's okay."
"What's he doing in there with you?"
"I was showing him how the bees work and how I harvest. You can hang out if you want."
"...no."
"Fine. Tell Olivia that I'm bringing more comb and candles over later. The soap isn't done yet."
Ron looked between her and Carl suspiciously before leaving. He slammed the gate as hard as he could behind him. Enid jumped at the loud noise and pinched the bridge of her nose. Word would spread about her and Carl being alone together within the hour, probably less than that. Juicy gossip was always appreciated, especially in The Fucked New World.
Unfortunately, some things never changed.
She and Carl becoming friends quickly definitely counted as juicy, especially given her reputation for being a cold hard bitch. Knowing how the Anderson "men" worked, there would be a lot of innuendo woven in Ron's words. Hopefully, The Grimes Group wouldn't get pissed off at her because of them. They were very protective of Carl, rightfully so. They didn't know her from Adam, Eve, or Steve. They could see her as trying to take advantage of him and that would suck.
"Enid..."
"He's not my boyfriend but he acts super jealous over me and I don't like it."
"I know. Mikey told me all about it when I first got here."
"I don't want to be Ron's girlfriend. His family is bad and he doesn't...it just wouldn't work out."
"You don't have to explain."
"Will you please tell your Group and parents the truth? Ron's gonna twist shit and I don't want them to get mad at me. They'll say that we shouldn't be friends anymore and I don't want that."
"We're friends now?"
"I really fucking hope so."
"We are."
Enid gave him a shaky but genuine smile, one that he readily returned.
"Come on. I'll show you how I make everything and you can take some stuff home with you."
"I'd like that. Thank you, Enid."
"You're welcome."
/
Later That Night...
"Carl?"
"Hey, Dad."
"Can you stop reading for a second? I need to talk to you."
Carl slid the Princess Daisy bookmark he had found in place before sitting up. He was halfway through the twelfth comic in the series and Enid had been right. Now that he understood every plotline and recognized all of the characters, reading the comics was so much better. He looked forward to finishing up the series. Finishing the series would give him something good to talk about with her. Plus, if they kept doing the comic book swap, Carl would get to see her more often. Seeing Enid was a high point in his day and it had taken lot of patience not to seek her out.
Their talk in the woods and what happened in the tree had changed things between them.
Enid needed time. She needed space. Enid hurt like he hurt and Carl knew that she was reeling. Leaving her alone was the best course of action. He didn't want to pressure her or spook her further. He had to think before doing, just like his dad had told him when they were on The Farm.
Still, Carl couldn't help but feel grateful to Sam Anderson.
If he hadn't done what he done, then Carl would have eventually had to come up with an excuse to go see her. That wouldn't have worked. He was a good liar, an excellent one when things got intense, but Enid could see right through him already and...
"Michonne told me that us coming this way was our best option. Heading for DC meant that we would have a chance to have real lives and to be happy again. She was right."
"As usual."
His dad laughed and nodded in agreement as he sat at the foot of his bed.
"...yeah, as usual. Anyway, part of having a real life is making new connections with people."
"Like you and Michonne?"
"And like you and Enid."
"Me and Enid are just friends, Dad. Really."
"I believe you when you tell me that but there's something deeper there for you, isn't there?"
"Yeah but she's been hurt a lot and I don't want to make it worse. She needs a friend, not a boyfriend. I mean, if she ever wants me to be her boyfriend, I'll do it but right now? We're just friends. She said that we're friends and that's cool. Enid's awesome."
"That's the best attitude to have."
"I like her because she's honest. She's a hard worker. She's smart as hell and she's funny. She knows how to make it and she was on her own for a long time. She could've stopped and given up. She probably wanted to a few times but she didn't. She pushed through and kept fighting. That means that she's strong. I respect her and she's more than a little scary. She could totally kill me but that's okay. That just means that she can take care of herself. That's good. That's really good..."
Carl looked down at his socks shyly, knowing that his face was beet red. Said face went completely pale as his dad tentatively put something on his bed. He looked between the item and his dad's embarrassed grimace before burying his face in his hands with a pained groan.
Goddamn it.
"Dad!"
"Look, I know that I am in no position to lecture anyone since I have a baby sleeping down the hall right now but you're my son. You're a man now and what you're feeling for Enid is..."
"I get it. Please stop. For the love of God, stop!"
Could someone actually die from embarrassment? Was that even possible? Fucking hell...
"Be smart. Always keep your guard up and if things go further between you and Enid or with someone else later, please use these."
"Why did you get such a big box, though? There's like 100 in there!"
"72."
"What the fuck, Dad?!"
"Hey!"
"Sorry. But, seriously, why did you do this?"
"You have to be safe and I'm too damned young to be somebody's grandfather right now."
"No, you're not."
"...yeah, well, Michonne is definitely too damned young to be somebody's grandmother."
Carl snatched the giant box of condoms up and threw it into his nightstand, slamming the drawer firmly. Instead of looking at his dad again, he laid down and hid his face behind his pillow.
"Did you get a box for you, too? Judith's not potty trained yet and I know how things work. You and Michonne are boyfriend and girlfriend now so that means you're going to be..."
"I know what we're going to be doing, Carl. It's all handled. I promise."
"Good. Oh, my god. Why?"
"I don't know, son."
Both of them laughed and Carl threw his pillow at his dad, laughing harder after he hit the floor. Nearly everyone else on the receiving end of Rick Grimes' annoyed glare would be cowering but Carl just kept laughing. It was great to laugh again. His dad stood up and Carl caught the pillow, putting it back behind his head.
"Need anything else?"
"I need you to stay close to Judith while we handle things with the Andersons. Pete isn't gonna go quietly. He's dangerous and I don't want him trying anything with either of you."
"Enid said that the only thing that's going to stop him from being bad to his family is a bullet to the head. I think she's right. Do you remember what Ed was like? If he hadn't gotten Bit..."
"I remember. We'll cross that bridge when we get to it."
"I got Judith. I'll make sure that she'll be okay. I promise."
"I know you will. Good night, Carl."
"Good night, Dad."
/
5 Days Later...
"Enid..."
"Everyone can see that I just got back from a Run, Spencer and aren't you supposed to be guarding the Gate right now instead of watching this train wreck? It was wide open when I got back. I killed all of the Chompers before they could get in but still...come on, man."
"You won't shoot me, Little Girl! You don't have the guts!"
The gathered Alexandrians screamed as the light fixture exploded precariously close to Pete Anderson's big fat head. If it came down to it, Enid would definitely shoot him. She would take him down, let him Turn, and not lose a wink of sleep over it. As much as Enid hated to use guns, she knew that they were the best weapons available outside of grenades or other explosives like dynamite. Her Glock 19 was well taken care of and always silenced to keep The Dead away. Enid was a decent shot, an excellent one when it counted, and Pete deserved to be pumped full of lead. He deserved to be humiliated and scared for his life because he was just so damned cruel.
Not only was he cruel, he was stupid. He was so fucking stupid!
"He used to be a Sheriff. His wife is a literal Samurai. He and his Group managed to get all the way up here from Georgia and frickin' Texas. What did you think was gonna happen?"
Before going out, Enid had heard about Pete being moved to a house at the back of the ASZ. Jessie had finally given him the boot with the help of the Monroes, Daryl, and Carl's parents. Mercifully, his new place wasn't near her turf and his sons would stay, which was good.
Of the two of them, Jessie was the better parent to Ron and Sam. They would be better off staying with her. Pete had been surprisingly agreeable to the divorce-custody arrangement but instead of being relieved like almost everyone else, Enid had been waiting for his true colors to show.
For once, Pete didn't disappoint.
Not only did he lash out, he lashed out in a big way.
The metal bat that Pete had tried to swing at Rick Grimes' back was currently laying in the grass.
Pete's nose was bleeding everywhere and he was wheezing from being punched in the kidneys.
"He's trying to steal my family! He and his People wants to take over this place and..."
"Mr. Grimes doesn't want to steal your family. Nobody in their right or wrong mind would want to steal your family. Everybody knows what you've been doing to them. Everybody's seen and heard about it and The Powers that Be are finally gonna make it stop. Better late than never."
"You can't stand there and judge me like you're some goddamned saint! You're not a saint or a Princess! You're just an angry little orphan bitch that looks down on everyone around here!"
"Really, Pete? What the hell, man?!"
"Don't even worry about it, Aaron. Is that the best you can do? Ooh, she's an orphan. Ooh, she's a bitch. She doesn't deserve to be a part of this Community. She doesn't care enough...meanwhile, I'm one of the main reasons that there's usually enough food to eat around here. You're an asshole and you are getting way more mercy than you deserve right now. If I were running this place, doctor or not, I would have kicked you out months ago and made sure that you got ripped apart by Chompers. You deserve to die that way. You really deserve to die that way because you allowed booze to be more important than your job. And worse of all? You still have your family after everything that's happened and you hurt them. You're supposed to protect and love them and all you do is hurt them. You suck."
Another bullet was loaded in the chamber and almost everybody started backing up. Aaron, Eric, and The Monroes didn't. Glenn, Noah, Sasha, and Daryl stayed by The Grimes' sides and surprising her, Eugene held fast, flanked by Abraham and Rosita. Maybe he was braver than she was giving him credit for.
Everyone else was on the verge of bolting. If she could land a shot so close to Pete's head, she could do it to anyone, they figured. Her aim was very good and she was apparently that done with everyone's bullshit. They figured right but unlike Pete, the Alexandrians as a whole hadn't done anything to deserve bullet wounds.
Yes, they were still weak and sheltered but their deaths wouldn't come from her hands.
"I tried to tell that idiot boy of mine to stop rubbing himself raw over you but-"
His alcohol and vitriol fueled tirade abruptly ended at the sound of a katana being unsheathed.
Pete wasn't saying anything that Enid hadn't heard hissed behind her back before.
He wasn't saying anything worth listening to at all, really.
He was beaten and he knew it. Now, he was just trying to save face and play the victim.
If he really wanted to be a victim, Enid knew that the ASZ's constables would be happy to oblige.
Pete blanched at the amount of rage in Michonne's usually serene amber gaze. Enid grinned as the big bad bully immediately lost all of his machismo like the sniveling little rat he truly was. He looked like he was about to start blubbering in front of everyone. He had been exposed for the monster he was and he couldn't handle the consequences. It was his own fault.
He should've treated his family right and just what did he expect to gain from attacking Rick other than embarrassment and a stomping anyways?
Rick Grimes was very precious to every member of his Group. He was a genuinely good man, father, and LEADER. Messing with him meant messing with his whole family. If anyone messed with Rick, they would promptly rise up and unleash hell, especially his wife.
Pete should count himself lucky that Michonne didn't decapitate him on the spot. Enid would have. Either that or she would have stabbed him through the heart so he could drown in his own blood before Turning. Pete deserved to be in pain when he was inevitably killed because of all the physical, mental and emotional hurt he had inflicted on his family and others over the years.
It was only fair.
"Shut up and walk. Rick, are you okay?"
"I'm all right."
"Good. Walk, Pete. I won't tell you again."
Rick picked the bat up and the pair of them quickly took the idiot away, followed by their People. Once they were out of sight, Enid holstered her Glock and walked back to the green pickup truck she had claimed for herself. Inside of its hold were 10 out of 20 coils of barbed wire. She had dropped half of them off with the Wall Crew and the rest were for her. There would not be another raid on the garden and bees without the hostile getting cut to shreds for their trouble.
The only things more important than food were water, weapons, and transportation. Everything needed to be done to protect those things.
Enid was going to do her part and do it well, no matter who got pissed off about her methods.
Somebody was going to get pissed off about the barbed wire. Somebody always had something to say about her. There was always judgement to pass and the verdict never went in her favor. The Court of Public Opinion had spoken and she would be forever known as Not Normal.
She was too damned cold.
She was too damned mean.
She had gone insane from being alone out there for so long.
She was a ticking time bomb that would snap and kill them all!
Enid chuckled as she watched Jessie sweep up the remains of the light fixture from inside the truck's cab. Her actions against Pete had been right but they would definitely add more fuel to that particular dumpster fire.
With a melancholy sigh, she turned the truck back on and the crowd parted for her immediately.
Enid could feel their gazes on her as she drove. The gossip was starting and it would soon be followed by warnings to stay away from her unless it was absolutely necessary.
So, nothing new, really.
At least no one stupid, evil, and weak would be bugging her anyone.
Only the genuinely good and brave people in Alexandria would come near her now.
Hopefully.
/
"...I'm just saying that maybe Pete had a point earlier."
"About what?"
"All the new people...Enid..."
"Carter, don't go there."
"Somebody has to!"
"Rick and his Group are nice and Enid hasn't done anything bad. What's your problem?"
"Carter, if Abraham hadn't stepped up when he did, Francine would've been Eaten last week and that would've been on us, on me. Glenn, Tara, Eugene, and Noah found the parts we needed without anyone getting hurt or killed. Daryl's teaching people how to hunt. Rosita and Sasha are teaching people how to fight. Rick and Michonne have done more for Jessie in less than a month than any of us. Maggie's helping with basically everything and...Rick's Group has good people in it who can make this place better than ever. They're earning their keep and yeah, Enid is definitely mean as hell but she's not going to go after anyone who doesn't deserve it. Pete deserved to get shot at and you know it so leave it alone. Leave them alone."
"Did you see how happy that girl looked to be using that gun? Did you hear what she said to Pete? She's sick! And as for Rick's perfect Group, The Priest doesn't trust them. How can you say that they're good people when their own fucking Priest doesn't trust them? He's terrified of them."
"I can use my eyes and my brain to make my own judgements. You should do the same."
"Leave them alone, Carter. Don't do anything stupid. It's not worth it."
"You don't get it! They're gonna take over and then what's gonna happen to all of us? Huh?"
"We'll live."
"All right! All right, fine! Be that way but when they start shooting us like dogs in the streets later on, don't say that nobody tried to warn you..."
Disgusted by what he just heard, Carl turned to leave but he tripped on a snag in the rug, falling down. He recovered just in time for Carter to try and grab him but he juked, unsheathing his Bowie knife to stop him in his tracks. If he had to, he could and would stab him. Carl had no intention of letting Carter hurt him or anyone that he cared about.
He had to warn everyone as soon as possible.
More Alexandrians weren't happy about them being behind the Walls with them. Pete wasn't the only one with a problem. They still needed to watch their backs and apparently, someone needed to keep a close eye on Gabriel. The cowardly Priest had been looking at them all differently since they dealt with The Termites. He was jumpy. He would disappear for hours and Carl swore that if the man did anything to endanger their safety in Alexandria like he had at the Church, he'd...
"Stop it! Carter, you stop it, right now!"
"Leave him alone, Carter! Trying to beat up on a teenager...what the fuck is wrong with you?"
Olivia and Tobin. Olivia ran The Pantry, inventoried the weapons and smoked meats, mainly boar. Enid liked her like she liked Aaron and Eric. Tobin was now a senior member of the Wall Crew instead of the Foreman. He had willingly stepped down so Abraham could run it after Walkers invaded the main site and he panicked. He was open to learning how to Survive and Enid had spoken well of him, too. Both of them just stood up for The Group and Carl would remember their loyalty. They were good people, more than a little sheltered and naïve but good all the same.
"He was spying on us, goddamn it!"
Carter wasn't worth the time or effort of stabbing. He really wasn't. Putting his knife away eased some of the room's tension and Carl stared the man down until he looked away shamefaced. It didn't take long for him to do so. He remembered Enid's declaration in the apiary. He still didn't like it or her overall attitude regarding Alexandrians but Carter? Carter was definitely someone not worth giving a damn about. He was a waste of space and resources. Who else was like him besides Pete? Who else was scared and ridiculous? Who else's issues would they have to deal with?
"I came here to get more red cups and clove oil for my sister just in time to hear you talking shit. If you've got a problem, then why don't you come say it to our faces? To my dad's face?"
"I don't have to explain myself to you! You're just a kid and I'm not afraid of your damned dad!"
"Okay. Prove it. Go and say what you were just saying to him. I can take you to him right now."
Carter looked like he was either going to pee his pants or start crying. Carl wasn't sure. What he was sure of was that if the man got anywhere near his dad, he would pass out or run away screaming. How Carter had lasted as long as he did was anyone's guess, even with Alexandria's Walls and resources in play. His mind was still stuck in the Old World and its ways of doing things. When things happened that didn't fit that mindset, he panicked and lashed out.
Like it or not, everything had changed. The world was completely different now. The Virus and The End had wiped the slate clean. Instead of accepting the truth, Carter and many other Alexandrians had built themselves a comfortable bubble of denial. Bubbles popped eventually, though. Carl knew that when Alexandria's did, it would be fucking awful.
It wouldn't even be a popping bubble. It would be a lanced boil.
Carter left The Pantry as quick as he could without running and Carl felt the urge to go after him. He wanted to take the spineless bastard to his dad. No, he wanted to just punch his lights out. Who gave him the right to judge his family so harshly? Who gave him the right to judge Enid so harshly? He didn't know shit about them or anything else for that matter! He was useless! Carl wanted to make Carter swallow his teeth and puke them out. He wanted to break his jaw and...
"Carl, he doesn't speak for all of us, all right? Neither does Pete."
"I know. Thanks for sticking up for me, Tobin. You too, Olivia. Can I have the stuff for Judith?"
"Sure. Coming right up."
The night was cool and breezy, which helped him calm down faster. Beating the hell out of Carter, as satisfying as it would be, wouldn't do anyone any good. In fact, it would make his and Pete's rants against them seem justified. It would put The Group in danger of being kicked out of the ASZ and that was the absolute last thing that Carl wanted to happen. They had to stay put. They had to rest, heal, and Live again. On the Road, they had been Surviving and barely at that.
If the scorching heat and Walkers hadn't done them in, then sadness would've gotten them. Even the strongest people broke down eventually. Aaron's arrival to the Barn had saved them. Carl didn't want to be the one to ruin things. He didn't want to be the stupid Dead Kid Walking that caused nothing but problems. He had been that way before and it had led to so much pain.
He had to think before doing. He had to be smart.
The smart thing to do would be to let his dad and Michonne know what was going on. They would fill the rest of the Group in and then, they would all figure out how to make things work.
Carter could still go fuck himself, though. Him and every other person who thought like him.
Returning to the house, Carl was pleasantly surprised to see Enid standing by the porch swing.
After what went down with Pete earlier, he had been expecting her to be hiding again.
He was glad to be wrong.
Carl had spotted her on the way out early that morning. She had been guiding her pickup truck forward with it put in neutral and with a guiding rope. That made sense. Every drop of gas was precious. Instead of her usual clothes, she had been dressed in all black. Black cargos, tank top, boots, and a large zip up hoodie. Her hair had been in two long braids and she had her gloves on. Like Michonne's katana, she carried a Grim Reaper's scythe sheathed on her back, its blade catching the first rays of dawn. Her knapsack was full and in the passenger's seat, along with a wooly blanket and large gray duffel bag. She had been ready to go out there and kick some ass.
She had been a woman on a Mission and it would be accomplished, come Hell or high water.
Enid yawned softly and stretched her arms above her head. She was still in her tank top but a pair of beige sweatpants replaced her cargos. She was still wearing her boots and her pink bathrobe's sash blew in the breeze. How long had she been standing there waiting? Why hadn't she knocked on the door? His dad, Michonne, and Daryl liked her. They would've let her in.
"Hey."
"...hey."
"What are you doing here?"
"I wanted to see you."
"You did?"
"Yeah."
"Okay. Let me put this stuff in the kitchen and I'll be right back."
"I'll be right here."
Before returning, Carl turned the porch light on. Enid made room for him to sit next to her and he did so happily. Quick nudges from their boots put the swing in motion. She was still wearing her gloves but her brass knuckles were in her front pocket. He could see their outline above her knife sheath. Her hair was down now and was that lipstick? And eyeliner? It was!
Why was Enid wearing lipstick and eyeliner?
The thick liner was black and slightly smeared, reminding him of Joan Jett. His mom had loved Joan Jett. Madonna, too. Her lipstick was a deep shade of red. The color reminded him of apples and strawberries. She looked good with the makeup on but why was it there in the first place? Enid didn't strike him as the type of woman to want to wear makeup outside of very special occasions but people had layers. He had only known her for a little while. There was still so much that he didn't know about her but he was willing to learn.
Hopefully, Enid would let him learn. So far, so good...
She pulled a compact out and checked to see if she still looked the way she wanted to.
Nodding once in approval, she put it back in her robe's left pocket before turning to face him.
"When I know that I'm gonna be out there for a while or if I have time before I have to fuck some shit up, I put it on. It's my war paint and if I end up dead or Turned, I want whoever finds me to be like: "awww, she was pretty" before they deal with what's left of me. Dumb, huh?"
"No."
"Speaking of dumb things, you missed one heck of a show earlier."
"Noah told me. He says you should be a sniper like Sasha. My Dad and Eugene think so, too."
"I should've shot Pete in the head when I had the chance. If I had, it would be over. It's not over."
"Losing his kids and his job could make him stop drinking and start being a man."
"Carl..."
"It could."
"He's not going to change. He's going to keep getting blitzed and being a jerk until he decides to blow his brains out. He'll try and take his family with him but I'm pretty sure they'll be okay."
"Are you?"
"They're just as dead as he is, even if he keeps his bullets to himself. It's only a matter of time."
"Goddamn it, Enid..."
"You asked for what I thought and I told you. Sometimes, the truth is ugly."
"It is but would it kill you to try being positive every once in a while?"
"I'm pretty sure it would. Sorry."
"No, you're not."
"I'm really not. I don't give a fuck."
Carl rolled his eyes and Enid shrugged before looking up at all the stars. One of the few good things left in the world nowadays was how easy it was to see the stars. Everything else had changed but the stars hadn't. Carl could still find all of the constellations he used to look at for hours with his telescope in King's County. No matter where he went, he could see them and take comfort from them.
"I put barbed wire on the garden and apiary fences. People are gonna be mad at me when they see it. They're going to say that it's ugly and unnecessary because of the Walls. They'll tell me to take it down and I'll tell them kiss my ass. The food needs to be protected no matter what and if somebody else wants to try and pull a Sam, they're going to have to bleed for it first. You know I actually promised to kill him after I caught him?"
"That doesn't surprise me at all."
"He's 10 years old and he's been dragged through a lot of shit. I get that he's sad but there are lines that you just can't cross. He could've screwed a lot of people over. The only things more important than food are water and having something to keep the assholes away. He was wrong."
"...no more kid's stuff."
"What?"
"Before we had to leave The Farm, my dad sat with me in the hayloft and explained how things work. One day, he'll die. My Group members will either die or make a home somewhere else. One day, I'll be on my own. One day, I'll have my own Group and family to take care of and I have to be able to Survive. I have to know how to keep them safe. I have to know what to do and when to do it. I couldn't always depend on other people to get me to sundown. I had to learn."
"So, you did it. You started learning. You know how to Survive."
"For the most part. I still mess up sometimes."
"Everyone does. You're still here and you're still human. You did good."
Hearing praise from Enid made Carl feel 20 feet tall. She called it like she saw it. No matter who got pissed off or hurt by her words, she spoke her mind. When she said that she was impressed, that he did good, Carl knew that she meant it. Enid had told him that he was strong, kind, and good. She wasn't the first person to say that to him and hearing it always helped him keep going.
His mother had told him to be good before she died and he wanted to honor that wish as best he could. He wanted to be a good son, older brother, and person.
It was so hard to be a good person. It had been hard Before but in The Fucked New World? It was always an uphill battle. Situations and morals changed by the minute, by the second in some cases. All of the Rules and Laws of the Land were gone. Humans were making things up as they went now. What was right? What was wrong? What was overkill? What was justice? The best way to handle things was to take it a moment at a time. Things would still go wrong. Bad calls would be made with the consequences felt but the struggle was better than just giving in.
Carl didn't want to give into the darkness that lingered in his spirit. He didn't want to let the ruthlessness he had become capable of over time to take full control of him. There was a time and place to be ruthless. With Walkers? It was always time. Walkers needed to be destroyed by any means necessary. The less Walkers around, the less of a chance there was to be Bit or ripped apart. Less Walkers meant less Herds to overrun Communities and Camps.
When dealing with twisted people like The Governor, The Claimers, Dawn, or Gareth, being ruthless was the only way to handle things. Evil and crazy like that couldn't stick around because people would always be in danger from it. Those types of people didn't deserve to live. Their cruel ways and selfish decisions just made things worse than they were already were. They had to go.
However, there were still times to show mercy and kindness. Not every person was a piece of shit. There were still good people in the world who needed help. They just needed a friend or a Group to get by. If a person could help, they should. One didn't have to be cruel to be a Survivor, even in times of trouble. Carl had forgotten that after The Governor's first attack on the Prison.
He had gone cold but had managed to come back in the end. With the help of his family and friends, he had come back before it was too late.
Carl didn't want to lose the ability to come back.
If he did, he would willingly eat a bullet or slice all of his veins open.
Staying alive wasn't worth it if you ended up becoming a monster in human skin to do so.
"Carter was trying to recruit Tobin and Olivia. He thinks Pete is right about you and my Group."
"They're cut from the same cloth of scared shitless stupid. I should've shot him, too."
Carl snorted ruefully at that. If Enid shot every idiot that came across her path, both inside and outside of Alexandria's Walls, she would run out of bullets before the sun came up.
"I'm scared that they'll try to fuck things up for us with Deanna. Get us all kicked out."
"Don't be. You're a good Group and you're giving to this place, not just taking. She sees that."
"It's getting worse out there, Enid. If Aaron and Eric hadn't found us when they did..."
"You guys are in a safe place, now."
"But for how long?"
"I can't tell you that. All you can do is enjoy the safety now and be ready to fight to get it back."
"We thought we were ready at The Prison. We weren't and a lot of people died. Good people."
"You can come up with good plans. You can have the right skills and people to pull off miracles. You can have back up plans ready to go when things don't work. You can do everything right and still end up getting screwed over. It was like that Before. It's just worse now."
"I know. I hate it."
"You should. It sucks dick but there are still plenty of good things in this Fucked New World. You just got to know how to see them. The good helps you get through the bad times. After the bad times happen, you bury your dead, stop crying, patch yourself up, find whoever's still standing and keep moving. You can't ever stop moving and you can't spend all of your time looking back and regretting. Doing that will kill you faster than a Chomper, bullet, or blade."
She understood.
She understood.
Carl was used to people his age not getting it. He was used to having to protect and teach them. He was used to having to Lead but he didn't have to with Enid. She understood what life was like better than he did. She wasn't weak. She wasn't a damsel in distress. She was smart. She thought before doing and then some. She was her own Leader and just...
Her hand slid into his again.
Immediately, Carl twined their fingers together and squeezed. Turning his head, he saw that Enid was staring like when they were in the woods. There was a look in her eyes that he didn't recognize. It was an odd look. It wasn't a mean one but he was still confused. Why was she looking at him like that? What did she want? Did she want another hug? He hoped so. Carl liked hugging her. Hugs made her feel better and she always smelled good...
Enid shifted closer to him and her gaze lingered on his lips, making his heart go into double time. It was pounding like it did when he had to flee or fight for his life. The world sped up and slowed down around him as she bit her lower lip. What was she doing? What did she want? Did she want what his instincts were saying she did? Carl didn't want to assume anything.
Slowly, he leaned forward and pressed his lips to her forehead. Both of her hands went to his shoulders and his went to her waist, drawing her even closer to him.
Their lips met and immediate warmth tunneled through him, as well as a healthy dose of shock.
Enid was kissing him. Enid was letting him kiss her. She tasted like honey and he could feel her lipstick smearing on his face. Carl cupped the back of her head and followed her lead, matching her pressure for pressure. The tip of her tongue traced his lips and he parted them immediately, letting her in. The honey flavor of her lips mixed with mint, walnuts, and something else that was spicy-tangy-sweet. She was so soft and warm. If he wasn't mistaken, she was smiling into their kisses and that made him feel like the King of Everything. He had made her smile again!
A sharp gasp escaped her as he bit her lower lip and Carl pulled away immediately.
"I'm sorry!"
"Don't be."
"Enid, I'm sorry..."
"Shh...I'm okay. Better than okay, actually."
"I've never kissed anyone before."
"I didn't want to kiss anyone until I met you."
"I was okay?"
"You did good. Really fucking good."
"Th-thank you. Are...are you sure you're okay? I didn't hurt you? I didn't force you?"
Enid kissed his forehead and cupped his cheeks, making him look deep into her eyes.
"I don't do anything that I don't want to do. Ever."
After one last peck, she was on the move, leaving him reeling in the best way. Enid just let him kiss her. He was her first kiss and Carl wanted more. He didn't just want to be her first kiss. He wanted all of her kisses but that decision was up to her. Whatever Enid wanted next, he would follow her lead. Carl didn't want to make her feel trapped. He didn't want her to feel like she owed him something. He didn't want to take her choice away. The Claimers had tried to do that to him and Michonne. Thankfully, that hadn't happened but Carl still remembered feeling dirty and ashamed. He remembered feeling angry and disgusting. Enid didn't deserve those bad feelings.
He didn't want to hurt her.
She had already been hurt enough.
Standing, Carl cleared his throat and looked out at the neighborhood only to see Sam Anderson standing across the street. How long he had been there was anyone's guess but judging by the panicked look on the kid's face, he had seen what just happened. Carl started walking towards him and he took off, heading home. Sam would tell someone what he just saw, most likely his mom. Word would spread and with that word would come even more problems from the Alexandrians.
He wasn't worried about The Group or his parents. His dad had made himself very clear. He was cool with whatever went on with Enid as long as he stayed smart about it. Michonne was in the same boat and his growing bond with Enid had become a nice inside joke with everyone. They were in his corner, just like always, and that was awesome. Their Group was a good Group, even after all of the shit they had seen. Hopefully, Enid would be willing to become a part of it, regardless of if they stayed together or not. Were they even together? Just because she had let him kiss her didn't mean that she was open to letting him be her boyfriend.
Of course, the Alexandrians wouldn't see it that way. All they would see is their resident Angry Farmer Girl hooking up with the New Kid after less than 3 months of knowing him. They would judge her. They would call her all sorts of awful names and the rage that he felt in the Pantry threatened to return at the very idea. Carl never liked bullies and Enid was surrounded by them.
Alexandria was supposed to be a big, loving Community but they kept her on the sidelines. She said that she didn't give a fuck but Carl knew better. Not everyone was like that, though. Aaron, Eric, and Olivia were good to her. Tobin obviously respected her, as did Deanna and Reg, but the rest of them were bullies. They had their cliques and their gossip and...
Shaking his head, Carl put a pin in that train of thought and went inside, turning off the porch light. The Alexandrians didn't matter. The gossip that would come didn't matter. What mattered was that Enid trusted him. She kept reaching out to him. She put faith in him and Carl didn't want to let her down. He would do everything in his power to not let her down.
Getting to the bathroom, he looked in the mirror and couldn't help but laugh. As he had felt earlier, his lips and cheeks were covered with lipstick. There was also a perfect print on his forehead. Part of him wanted to just leave it but he knew it would be best to clean his face. Explaining what was going on was going to be uncomfortable enough without adding fuel to the fire.
Still, he didn't throw away the baby wipes he used. It felt than a little weird to hold onto them but he wanted to have a physical reminder of what happened. After securing them in a small Ziploc bag, Carl put them in his nightstand and laid down, turning off the lamp.
Enid had kissed him.
She had kissed him with tongue and given him one of the softest smiles he had ever seen in his life. Of all the people she could've chosen to kiss and smile at, she had picked him. Him!
Wow.
He fell asleep with a huge smile on his face.
/
4 Days Later...
"Mrs. Anderson? Wait, are you still an Anderson or did you go back to your maiden name?"
"I'm a Miller again but... you can just call me Jessie. It's less confusing that way."
"Okay, then. What's up? Do you need more honey? I just took some jars to Olivia so..."
"No, nothing like that. I need to talk to you if you have a minute."
"All right. Come on in."
Enid knew exactly why Jessie was approaching her. She had noticed Sam lurking by the Neidermeyer House while waiting for Carl. He kept his distance from her now, which was bittersweet. He was still a good kid that deserved better but Enid wanted nothing more to do with him. What he had tried to do burned that bridge. Why Sam was spying on the Grimes House was anyone's guess. Was he spying on just the Grimes' or the whole Grimes Group? What did he want from them? Was he jealous like his dad and Carter or was he just looking for someone new to latch on to? Regardless of his motives, he had been there and he had seen everything.
Sam told his mom. Did Ron know? Would he be showing up next? Would he try to start some shit with Carl later on? Most likely, yes and she was not looking forward to that.
Enid had absolutely no regrets about kissing Carl Grimes. He was a good, strong person. He fit all of her criteria for a companion and then some. He had good parents and an excellent Group. He saw her. He got her and he was damned nice to look at. Most of all, he was kind. Even after all the shit he had started and ended, he was still so sweet. He was gentle and loving. He would be good to her and she would try her best to be good to him.
"What are you making?"
"Sauerkraut and lemon marmalade. They'll be ready soon and it's time to start harvesting the fields. The sorghum and potatoes are fine but I'm not too sure about the corn and barley. I'm going to have to ask Maggie and Mr. Grimes to take a look. Even if they are dead, they're still useful. The barley can be excellent mulch and the corn can be used to make gasoline. Well, ethanol."
"That's good. You've built something really good here, Enid."
"I didn't do it by myself. Jessie, why are you here? What do you want?"
The blonde looked uncomfortable but Enid didn't give an inch. She just continued turning and burping the sauerkraut jars. The burping process was important during fermentation. If too much gas built up, then the containers would explode. The marmalade had cooled off enough to be jarred so she put it in the fridge for safekeeping. After she took her nap, Enid would spend the rest of the day making batches of lavender and mint oil for the Infirmary, along with poppy syrup. The oils could be used for treating muscle strains and the syrup could be an anesthetic when the time came.
Denise mentioned that they were running low on painkillers and while finding more on Runs was still possible, it was good to have other options. Maybe Eugene could make them some Ether or Chloroform. He definitely had the smarts to pull it off and...
"I know about you kissing Rick's son."
"We kissed each other. His name is Carl, by the way. His little sister's name is Judith."
"I know that and I just want to make sure that you're being smart about things."
"What do you mean?"
"Well, you just met him. What do you really know about him?"
"I know enough about him to let him be my boyfriend."
"So, he is your boyfriend?"
"I hope so. I have to talk to him about it. Do you think he'll treat me like Pete treated you?"
"No! Of course not! He's a good kid."
"Then, what's the problem here? Who do you really want to protect me from?"
"...please don't make me say it."
"Oh, I'm going to. Who do you really want to protect me from, Jessie?"
Jessie's eyes welled with tears and Enid sighed before tossing her a striped kitchen towel.
"I'm not interested in Ron. I never was, even before Carl and his family got up here."
"I know that but..."
"But what? You want me to fake feelings? Do you really think that would do him any good?"
"He's so much like his father..."
"...and you want to put me in a situation like you were in?"
"No! I thought that maybe if he had someone, he'd feel better. He's a good kid but he's sad and just so damned angry all the time. It's like..."
"I can't fix him."
"I'm not asking you to do that. I'm just asking you to consider..."
Jessie trailed off and her eyes wouldn't meet hers. As a matter of fact, Jessie hadn't really looked her in the eye at all. She was jumpy, shaky, and reeking of guilt. Why? She and Jessie had barely said 50 words to each other during her time in the ASZ. Was she feeling guilty because of Sam? She should but only to a point. Sam was 10 years old. Even with his emotional stunting, he was still smart and old enough to make his own decisions. Plus, he had snuck out at 3AM when everyone with sense was sleeping if they weren't on Watch. She couldn't be everywhere.
As for Ron? Well, Ron was Ron. Jessie couldn't stop him from being the way he was. All she could do was show him love and try her best to find a way to make him happy. If he was happy, then...
It dawned on her and Enid pointedly put the cleaver she had been using earlier far out of reach.
"...you want me to fuck him. That's why you're here. That's the solution you've come up with."
The shame and desperation on the blonde's face said it all. Now, Enid just felt disgusted. There was pity and anger in the mix, too but mostly disgust. So much disgust. The absolute gall!
"You have got to be shitting me right now."
"Enid, it doesn't have to be a big deal. I know that you and Carl are already close so..."
"This is not a cathouse and I am not a whore. Stop talking to me like I am."
"Enid..."
"Carl was my first kiss. I haven't been with anyone else, not for a lack of trying on some people's parts. They didn't like me saying 'no' so they tried to change my answer to a 'yes'. Violently."
"Oh God, I didn't know...Enid, I'm so sorry!"
If she never heard an apology from an Anderson again, she would be ecstatic.
"Don't even worry about it. I handled them in the way that they needed to be handled and they won't get to hurt someone else. Jessie, I am not going to fuck your son. I don't want to. I don't see him that way and all that faking those feelings for him would do is hurt him more in the long run. Not to mention that it would end up putting me in a place that none of us need me to be in."
"What are you saying?"
"You just told me that Ron is a lot like Pete, right? Okay. That makes sense. Boys usually learn how to be men from their dads. Say I went along with your idea. What do you think would happen to him when tried to put his hands on me? You know he would."
"Ron would never..."
"Don't even finish telling that lie. What happens next, Jessie?"
"...you would kill him."
"And I would make sure that it would hurt the whole time. Do you want to lose him like that?"
"No, but...I think...I think I've already lost him. I think me and Pete ruined him. Him and Sam!"
Enid wholeheartedly agreed with her on that but she wouldn't say so out loud, even now. Jessie was already in enough pain. It would be cruel to add to it. Although Pete was finally away from her, the wounds he left behind lingered and festered. Everyone knew that she had been a battered wife. Everyone had seen the end of her marriage. Her oldest son was known for being sullen and the youngest one was known for being annoying.
Sam was still catching hell for what he tried to do to the garden so that meant that Jessie caught hell, too. After all, if she had been a better mother, then her sons wouldn't be such bad seeds. She was surrounded by people who judged her and found her to be lacking, including her ex-husband. She was still looking for someone to save her and make all of her problems disappear.
Jessie coming to her this way, as disrespectful and tone deaf as it was, made sense.
Enid waited until the woman composed herself before asking the critical question.
"Does anybody outside of his Group and you two know about me and Carl?"
"...not that I know of. Sam told me while I was tucking him in and Ron had his music on so..."
"Right. It's not a secret but I'd like it if you and Sam could keep it to yourselves for as long as possible. Our relationship is very new and neither of us deserve to be judged while we figure things out. His family won't do that. Everybody else will."
"I understand. I'll let Sam know."
"Good. Go away. We're done here."
"I really am sorry, Enid."
"You're trying to help your son as best you can. I get it. Now, go away. Go far away."
There was only so much patience Enid had left. The longer Jessie stayed, the more tempting it was to pick up the cleaver and go to town. Once the door closed behind the blonde, she took several deep breaths and let them out slowly, mentally counting down from 20.
It had been part of band, learning how to regulate her breathing, but the various exercises also came in handy for reeling in her temper. Just because she understood where Jessie was coming from didn't mean that she wasn't angry. Honestly, Enid was more hurt than angry. The fact that Jessie assumed that she was so detached from her humanity stung. Just because she played her cards close to the vest didn't mean she was a robot. It just meant that she was smart.
Letting just anyone see the real her could lead to trouble. Enid didn't want to be taken advantage of. She didn't want to be used and she didn't want to do that to someone else. It wouldn't be right. The world operated in many shades of gray but there were some things that a person just didn't do, even in the name of "saving" them.
Having sex with Ron wouldn't save him. Being his girlfriend wouldn't save him. No sort of romantic relationship with her or anyone else would save him. Not even sending his scumbag sperm donor to hell where he belonged would save him at this point. The only person who could save Ron Anderson from his demons and angst was himself. It was up to him and Jessie just couldn't see it. Either that or she didn't want to accept the truth, which was so much worse.
Living in Denial could only work for so long, especially with the teeming mass of Dead ambling around and most humans being assholes now. Most humans. Not all of them.
There were still good people.
They were outnumbered 10,000 to 1 by Chompers and 100 to 1 by dickheads but they existed.
That made her feel better.
Deciding to leave her next project for the morning, Enid exited the kitchen and headed for the laundry room. Opening the silver dryer, she put her clothes in the basket to fold later before pulling out the best item she had picked up on her Run.
While looking through the office of the auto shop that she had found the barbed wire in (why a mechanic had kept so much barbed wire on hand was anyone's guess but she was grateful for it...), in the bottom drawer of the desk had been a large stuffed elephant. It had been covered with cobwebs but still very soft, still viable. All it needed was a good wash and a couple of stitches and it could be used again. It could be loved again.
Enid knew the perfect person for the job.
/
"Every kid needs a stuffed animal, especially now. I saw him while I was out scavenging and I just...I grabbed him and some new storybooks for Judith. I already named him but you guys can change it if you want. He's Harry Elephante. You know like the musician? I-I played the clarinet before things changed. I still have it actually and I like puns. I named my stuffed cat Chairman Meow when I was 6 and...do you think she'll like it?"
"Let's find out."
It was taking all of his strength to play it cool.
Just because Enid had let him kiss her didn't mean that she wanted him to be her boyfriend. Just because she had shown up with a basket of food and gifts for Judith didn't mean that...god, she smelled good. She always smelled good but she had put some kind of perfume on before coming over. It was flowery and mixed up with the usual scent of honey that lingered around her and...
Carl pushed Judith's bedroom door open and was pleased to see that she was still napping. His sister was finishing teething and it was rough on her. She was drooly, feverish, and cranky. All the teething rings had been a godsend. They kept a bunch of them in the freezer door. Everyone carried at least two with them in case they had to take her. Judith didn't cry anymore. She had learned that crying was dangerous but her whimpers broke his heart every time he heard them.
The last thing Judith deserved was to be in pain.
As had become habit, Carl gently checked her pulse and smiled as a loud snore escaped her. Judith was sprawled out on her side and had her knuckles in her mouth to suck on. She would still take a pacifier but her knuckles were her favorite.
"She's beautiful."
"She is."
Carefully, Enid set Harry Elephante in the crib and both of them held their breath as Judith shifted. She wrapped her arms around the plushie and slept on, sighing happily. As Carl put the storybooks on the bottom shelf, Enid carefully pulled Judith's pink blanket back over her. His heart threatened to burst out of his chest at the sight. Enid was anything but cold. Once you got past her shields, she was one of the warmest, kindest people around and seeing her be so tender with Judith? Damn.
She would be an excellent mother.
Carl quickly slammed the brakes on that train of thought. He still didn't know for sure if they were together and if they were, it was way too soon to be thinking about that stuff! They had only kissed for the first time 4 days ago. Neither of them was ready for more than that. Plus, they were only 17 and did Enid even want kids? Carl was open to the idea. He knew how to take care of a baby.
He was also scared of the idea because of what happened to his mother.
Every woman was different.
Every pregnancy was different but the very idea of losing his girl because of something he was responsible for was unbearable.
Enid may not want kids. Or maybe she did. That didn't mean that she would want his kids in particular, though. She could be with anyone she wanted and tomorrow was never promised. Something bad could happen to him. He could end up captured or dead. If that happened, then he hoped that she would be able to be happy again with someone else. She deserved that. Enid deserved a family, a Community, and every good thing that the Fucked New World had left.
"Are you hungry?"
"Huh?"
"Are you hungry?"
"Yeah."
"Come on. We'll make some food and then we'll talk."
"Okay."
Other than Judith, the house was empty. His parents were walking the Perimeter. Daryl was out in the woods and Carol had disappeared again. Something was going on with her. Carl knew why his dad had made her leave The Prison. Everyone had tried to keep the facts from him but he knew. He wasn't sure how to feel about it. What Carol had done to Karen and David had been brutal but Carl could understand why she had done it. The sickness had started ruining the Prison and she had tried to get rid of what she thought was the source. She had been trying to protect all of them.
She had tried to protect Lizzie and Mika on the road to Terminus but obviously, something had gone very wrong. Carol had lost Sophia before all of that happened. He would never forget the sight of his best friend coming out of that Barn. He would never forget the way that Carol screamed and cried. Everyone, even Shane, had been heartbroken at the sight of what was left of Sophia: the Bite on her neck, her blue rainbow shirt covered with dried mud and blood.
His dad had to Put Her Down. His mom had told him not to look but he had still heard.
Carol was hurting badly. She knew how to put up a brave front but...maybe Michonne could talk to her. Michonne and Daryl and Glenn, too. Carl would try to do it but he wasn't sure what to say. He didn't want to make her pain worse like he had on The Farm. He still felt like shit for that, even though Carol had obviously forgiven him.
Sasha had lost Bob and Tyreese back to back. Her brother had been her best friend in the world from childhood and not only did he die, she hadn't even been able to say goodbye. She had been able to say goodbye to Bob but he had suffered so much. He had been Bit and then Gareth and the rest of his twisted followers had eaten his leg. Sasha was a Protector. She was a Planner and she hadn't been able to save them. She was alive and they weren't. On the surface, she was pissed off but the hurt? Carl wanted to help her but he didn't know how. He didn't know how to help Carol and Maggie? Jesus God.
Her whole family was Gone. Hershel had been murdered right in front of her and Beth had almost made it. She had been so close to making it but Dawn had stolen her from everyone. Maggie had lost her home, her mom, her brother, Jimmy, Patricia and Otis, almost everyone she ever loved was Gone. Thank God Glenn was still standing. Thank God she still had the rest of the Group but that didn't make the hurt go away, just bearable.
It wasn't enough for them to be someplace safe. They had to start healing, too. Carol was hurting. Maggie was hurting. Sasha was completely devastated and...
"Are you okay?"
"I'm fine."
"Try again."
"...Carol's in a bad place. Sasha and Maggie, too. I'm worried about them."
"They've lost people, haven't they? People who meant everything to them?"
"Yeah. I want to help them feel better but I don't know where to start."
"All you can do is be there for them. It's always gonna hurt but with time and with people who give a damn about them around? They'll get better. You'll see."
"I hope so. What do you need me to do?"
"See if there's a cast iron skillet around here and get the venison. Are you allergic to anything?"
"Walkers."
"Fuckin' A. Anything else?"
"Bullshit."
She giggled and shook her head while pulling things out of the picnic basket.
"I brought some honeycomb, tomatoes, mushrooms, and sauerkraut and Olivia made more bread for toast. I'm thinking that we could make Philly cheesesteaks without the cheese and then have the honeycomb for dessert, maybe with some applesauce to dip it in. What do you think?"
"Sounds good. Definitely better than dog and rainwater."
"You ate dog?"
"Yeah. Dog food, too before we found The Prison."
"I've eaten turtle, snake, possum, and cat. Turtle actually tastes pretty good. Cat, not so much. Better than starving but if I've got a choice? Never again. You chop, I cook, and if you steal any of my ingredients, I may or may not cut you."
Carl laughed and after washing his hands, got to work beside her. Enid had on her usual jeans and boots but a different kind of shirt. It reminded him of the shirts that Beth used to wear. It was dark green with little gray butterflies printed on it. The sleeves went to her elbows and every time she leaned forward, he made sure to keep his eyes up. He had only slipped once and the sight of white lace made his mouth go bone dry.
Was she trying to kill him? If she was, he would die happy!
He also felt like a huge asshole for looking. What the hell was wrong with him?
Women were supposed to be respected. Women weren't objects to claim or to drool over. Plus, he was pretty sure that Enid wouldn't appreciate him looking at her breasts. They were really nice breasts but still, it wasn't right to look at them without permission. He was supposed to be a gentleman and...
"I don't mind if you look at them."
"What?"
"My boobs. I don't mind if you look at them. That's why I put this shirt and bra on in the first place. I wanted them to look their best for you. I guess it worked."
His face was almost as hot as the pan on the stove and Carl knew that Enid was enjoying making him feel uncomfortable. He could hear laughter in her voice and it was a sign of how far gone he was that he wasn't even mad. A happy Enid was always good, even if she was laughing at him.
Looking at her, she grinned and Carl rolled his eyes, even as he rubbed the back of his neck.
"I'm not going to look at your...um, woman parts until we talk about us."
"...and that right there is part of the reason why there is an 'us' to talk about. I guess the Southern Gentleman isn't a myth after all. Get the applesauce out of the fridge, grab two waters and sit at the table. Don't forget the baby monitor."
They ate in warm silence and Carl appreciated how Enid kept glancing at the baby monitor between bites. She also looked towards the street every once in a while. She had her mother's knife with her, her brass knuckles were on, and he had spotted a larger blade sheathed at the small of her back. Enid was ready to protect herself and those around her at all times. Just because things were calm and quiet now didn't mean it would stay like that forever.
Her gun holster was empty but that would be changing soon. There were more Walkers roaming around and 19 had gotten inside 2 nights ago. Somebody had left the Gate open again. It had been Gabriel, which pissed a lot of people off, especially his parents. What good was having Walls and a Gate if they weren't used right? Amazingly, nobody had been hurt by the Pack but there had been a cry for guns to be allowed behind the Walls, a cry that Deanna had listened to since one of the Walkers almost gotten Reg. Noah had taken care of it and Deanna had nearly broken him in two with a hug before latching onto her shaken but still alive husband.
Leadership of the ASZ had officially gone to his dad, who quickly put a Council together like he had at The Prison. That was good. Trying to do everything by himself had led to nothing but trouble in the past. Along with Deanna and Reg, Tobin, Denise, Aaron, and Olivia were a part of it. The rest of the spots were filled by Maggie, Michonne, Daryl, Sasha, and Glenn. It worked out. The Council was split equally between the Group and Alexandrians. While his dad (and Michonne) had final say for Big Moves, everybody got to share ideas. Everybody had a voice.
There was still an Us and Them mentality but it was getting better. Things were looking up.
Of course, with the Gun Ban gone came the need for shooting lessons but that was being handled well enough. His dad had asked him to help with them and Carl didn't mind doing it. The Walls were being reinforced every day. Walker traps were being built outside of them like they had at The Prison and more Watch shifts had been added. Anybody over 18 (or who had the right skills) was added to the schedule and if their talk went as well as he hoped, Carl would make sure that most, if not all of his lookout shifts would be with Enid.
"Enid, I..."
"We kissed 4 days ago and it was great. I would like to keep doing it."
"Me too."
"I also like talking to you. You get me and you keep me from being too much of a bitch."
"Please don't call yourself that."
"I'll try not to but facts are facts. Are you okay with us being together?"
"More than okay. I really like you, Enid. I want to see where this thing between us goes."
"I want that too but us hooking up is gonna cause a lot of drama. Are you ready?"
"I'm ready and don't worry. The drama won't come from my family. They like you."
"They like me as Enid the Person but what about Enid the Girlfriend? What about your parents? I really like you, Carl but not enough to get shot in the face or my fucking head chopped off."
"My dad and Michonne are cool with us."
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah. He uh...the same day we talked in the apiary, we talked about girls and he gave me a really big box of...goddamn it..."
"Trojan?"
"He gave me a giant box. There's like 100 in there!"
"That must've been hilarious..."
"Not really, no."
"I drink Queen Anne's Lace tea. The seeds work like the Pill but it's good that you're covered."
"My dad's his own man but for Big Moves, he always talks to Michonne first. He wouldn't have given me the protection if she was worried that we'd be a bad idea."
"Good. I-I'm not ready to have sex with anyone yet but..."
"I'm not ready to do it either but when I am, I-I would like it to be with you, if that's what you want. It's okay if you don't. Kissing and hugging you is great."
She nodded and sighed softly, looking troubled.
"What's the matter?"
"I have to tell you something."
"What happened? Are you okay?"
"I'm fine but Jessie showed up at my place earlier. She asked me to fuck Ron."
"...are you serious? You can't be serious."
"I wish I wasn't but I am."
"What is wrong with her? How could she come to you like that? Did you tell someone? Deanna? My dad? Michonne?"
"No."
"This is bullshit. She can't just do that and walk away. Where is she now?"
"Probably off crying in the corner someplace. I shut her down, Carl so don't be mad, okay?"
"How can you ask me not to be mad when she came to you like you were some kind of hooker?"
"Because it doesn't matter."
"It does matter, Enid! You matter!"
"I'm really glad that you want to stick up for me but Judith is still napping. Chill out."
Carl let out a loud breath through gritted teeth and lowered his voice. The nerve of Jessie! Carl understood that she was hurting. He felt for her, he really did. She was sad and beaten down. Her two kids were even worse off. Pete had spent years bullying them and putting them through hell. Jessie making crazy choices made a lot of sense but still! Still!
"What was she thinking? Did she tell you?"
"I figured it out. Ron's miserable and Jessie is trying her best to find a way to make him feel better so he doesn't off himself. He wants me so she decided to go for it. Any parent worth a damn will do anything to keep their kid alive, no matter how ridiculously fucked up it is."
"The only person that can fix Ron is Ron, not you or anyone else and you have the right to choose who you want to be with. Nobody should take that choice away from anyone. It's not right."
"I know that."
"Somebody...after we lost The Prison, my dad, Michonne, and me were on the road heading for Terminus and one night, we ran into a Group of guys that called themselves The Claimers. Daryl was rolling with them but he didn't know what kind of assholes they really were until it was too late. Dad killed one of their guys who attacked him earlier so they wanted payback before killing him. Me and Michonne were supposed to be payback."
"D-Did they...you weren't..."
"Almost. Dad bit the Leader's throat out and gutted the guy that wanted to do it. Michonne and Daryl took care of the rest of them. They're dead and they won't get to hurt anyone else."
"Good. I'm sorry that happened to you."
"I'm fine, now. Michonne helped me get through it but the idea of that happening to anyone pisses me off. Let me know if Jessie or Ron try anymore bullshit with you, okay?"
"I can take care of myself, Carl."
"I know. Let me know if Jessie or Ron try anymore bullshit with you, okay?"
"...okay."
He stood up and Enid watched warily as he approached her. He wasn't mad at her. Even if he was, Carl would never, ever put his hands on her. Men who did that to women and children weren't men. They were monsters. Carefully, Carl rested a hand on the nape of her neck and pressed a kiss to her forehead. Relaxing, Enid leaned into him and he hugged her, burying his face in her hair.
"You smell really good. Like flowers."
"I found perfume in the back of the Pantry. It's supposed to smell like Elizabeth Taylor."
"She smelled good."
Carl cringed at that but her fond sigh chased away any embarrassment.
"...you're weird."
"Yeah. Sorry about that."
"Don't be. I don't mind."
Enid stood up and yawned, stretching like she had the first time they met. Unlike that time, she pressed a kiss to his cheek before giving him the softest smile again. Carl knew that if he were a cartoon, big pink hearts would be floating above his head right now. Hell, he was tempted to check for them anyway. Enid was his girlfriend, now. She had chosen him to be her boyfriend. As long as he didn't fuck up, he would get all of her kisses and most of her smiles from now on.
"I usually take a nap around this time but there's a mess and..."
"I got it. If you want, you can nap here. You don't have to go home yet."
"...all right, then."
Instead of going for the couch like he figured she would, Enid went upstairs. Was she really going to...she wouldn't, would she? Carl hoped that she would but...
After cleaning up, Carl grabbed the baby monitor and headed for his room. Sure enough, Enid was curled up in his bed. His favorite pillow was under her head and she had made a nest out of the blankets. Her mother's knife was centimeters away from her left hand and he knew that if she felt the need to throw it, it would fly true. She was in his bed. She was so pretty and in his bed and...
"Come lay down."
/
Usually her afternoon naps only lasted for about an hour but when she woke up, it was dusk.
Enid blinked once, twice before sitting up slowly. Carl was gone but she could hear music and voices downstairs. She could also smell more food cooking and her stomach let out a loud roar. Checking the clock, she saw that she had been sleeping for 5 hours. Getting up, she put the blankets back in place and lowered the hem of her shirt. Carl had spooned up behind her and his hands ended up on her abdomen, stroking gently. Instead of pulling away, Enid had shifted as close as she could get to him and relaxed. Carl wouldn't hurt her. He wouldn't take advantage of her. She was in a safe place with a safe person so she slept with no bad dreams.
Turning on the bathroom sink, Enid splashed some water on her face before taking a deep drink from the spigot. Few things tasted better than cold, clean water. Enid was all too aware of how much of a luxury it was. After drying her hands thoroughly, she headed for the stairs and conversations stopped as she came into view. Carl's whole Group was there for dinner.
They had moved to different houses after settling in but they still made sure to stay connected. That was good. That was smart. Just because they were someplace safe now didn't mean that they were going to be safe forever. They had to keep their family and friend ties strong. It was possible to make it alone in the world. Sometimes, doing so was necessary but it was a lot harder, a lot sadder...
"Hey. You're awake."
"I am. Hi, everybody."
"Come sit down. We're about to eat. Carol and Maggie made dinner."
"Okay."
As soon as she sat next to Carl, Judith reached for her. Enid took her immediately, smiling at the sight of Harry Elephante on the table. His upraised trunk was a little damp. Once Judith was comfortable, she grabbed the plushie and continued gnawing at it happily.
"Did you get that for her?"
"Yes, sir. Every kid needs a stuffed animal."
"Thank you. You can call me Rick, if you'd like."
"Can I stick with Mr. Grimes for now?"
"You can."
Dinner was boar noodle soup, salad, and toast with honey for dessert. There was a pitcher of lemonade on the table and Enid chopped up some of her food to share with Judith. The baby had turned so her head rested on her shoulder and her free fingers played with her necklace. Carl also shared his food with his sister and Enid could feel everyone watching them. He must have let them know what was going on. Not like she had given him much of a choice since that she had taken over his bed like Goldilocks earlier.
Enid wasn't uncomfortable with the knowing looks and smiles, though.
Carl's family wouldn't hurt her unless she tried to hurt them first. She and Carl were a couple now. She wasn't ashamed about that. Neither was he. They had talked about their feelings and decided to move forward together. What would happen? Who would happen? Neither of them could say for sure but Enid knew that she had made the right choice today.
As much as Carl still scared her, being friends and more with him was a good idea. Not only had she gained a companion, she had met a whole Group full of genuinely good and strong people. They accepted her. If they didn't, they wouldn't have let her within 10 feet of Carl or Judith. For the first time in a very long time, she felt like she belonged someplace. She felt like she could let her guard down, just for a little while, and nothing bad would happen to her. She...she...
"Enid? Are you okay?"
She could feel the hot pressure building behind her eyes. Someone took a now sleeping Judith off of her lap as they shut tightly. Her face crumpled and the tears came out like an erupting volcano. Loud, body wracking sobs took her voice away. She put her hands over her mouth to muffle herself as she sank to her knees by her seat. As sad as she was, she still had to be careful. She couldn't make too much noise. Too much noise made The Dead come and when The Dead came, bad things happened.
Why was she even crying right now? It didn't make any sense.
Crying didn't solve anything. Crying took up too much energy and wasted precious bodily fluids. She was secure in a sturdy shelter. She had a good hot meal in her stomach and she wasn't thirsty at all. She wasn't injured. Assholes weren't trying to rob or kill her. Chompers weren't in Alexandria's Walls anymore or if they were, they weren't near her. Even if they were behind the Walls, she knew how to get rid of them. She wasn't helpless. She wasn't useless. She was doing fine right now, better than fine, so why was she crying? Why couldn't she stop crying?
Warmth engulfed her from behind and she collapsed into it. Carl. Carl was hugging her again. Enid liked it when he hugged her. When Carl hugged her, she didn't hurt. But she had just knocked him on his ass so maybe he was hurt. Honestly, Carl didn't have much of an ass to be knocked on but still, she wasn't exactly petite. She was a goddamned fucking mess. She was being a big crybaby in front of his whole Group and parents. She was being clingy and now, she messing up his shirts with all her blubbering. That wasn't good. She needed to stop crying right now!
"...I-I'm sorry..."
"I got you."
"I'm sorry..."
"I got you."
/
He didn't know what to do other than hold her.
Dinner had ended after Enid started crying. Most of the Group left but Glenn, Maggie, and his parents had stayed. That was good. If he couldn't find a way to make her feel better, then Carl knew they could. Maggie and Enid had gotten really close, bonding while helping the garden, so maybe they could talk about things. Carl was more than willing to listen but there were some things that he just wouldn't understand. Woman things and the type of loss she felt. Carl had lost loved ones and friends but compared to Enid, who had lost everything? He just...god, he was glad that she had stopped crying. The fact that she felt safe enough to cry in front of him was good but hearing her in pain, seeing her on the floor?
He wished he had a target. A human threat, a Walker, anything that he could take on so Enid wouldn't hurt anymore. She was in pain and it wasn't right. He had to do something. He had to help her feel better. He wouldn't feel right until he did and was that what being a serious boyfriend, being a husband felt like? Did Glenn feel like this all the time with Maggie? Did Abraham feel it towards Rosita? Aaron to Eric? His dad with his mom and now with Michonne?
Carl would have to ask him about it later.
He would know. He would help him.
His dad always helped him.
Slowly, Enid turned around, and rested her head on his shoulder.
"I got you. I'm right here."
She nodded.
"Do you wanna talk about it?"
She shook her head.
"Okay. Are you ready to go home?"
Enid nodded quickly and they got off the floor. Carl's arm was wrapped around her waist and she wouldn't look up from her boots. He understood. Enid was known for being a strong woman. She was known to take no one's shit. She felt bad for crying in front of everyone. He had felt embarrassed that way before and after The End so he wouldn't judge her.
"Would you like someone to stay with you for a while?"
She nodded.
"Maggie? Glenn? Do you want me to go get Aaron?"
She shook her head.
"Me?"
Her face twisted and she moved away from him, scuffing the floor with the toe of her boot.
"Enid, do you want me to stay with you?"
"Yeah, but I just finished crying all over you. I'll be fine if you want to stay here."
"If you want me to stay, I will. You shouldn't be by yourself right now."
"...go check on Judith first. Are you done with the comics yet?"
"Yeah. I'll grab them and we'll go."
"Don't bend the corners."
"I won't. I promise."
"I believe you. Hurry up."
/
"I didn't start crying earlier because something was wrong. It happened because for the first time in a long time: everything felt right. I know that sounds dumb but..."
"It doesn't. I get it."
"...you do, don't you?"
"Yeah."
"I gotta get used to that."
As they walked through Alexandria, clouds rolled in. The storm arrived just after they got inside. The wind was howling and the rain was driving. Even if she wanted Carl to drop her off, it would've been impossible for him to get home without getting drenched. If that happened, he risked getting sick. Getting sick wasn't a good idea. Denise had officially taken over as the ASZ's doctor and she was doing a great job but it wasn't like Before. Everybody's immune system was different now and Enid didn't want to risk losing him already. She had just gotten him, damn it.
More importantly, she just wasn't ready for Carl to go home yet.
Enid had eaten some honeycomb, wiped her face, and headed for the basement door. Carl being Carl had stayed still, making her sigh with fond exasperation. It was a good thing that he never assumed anything. It was wonderful that he didn't feel entitled to her at all times but sometimes, he could be fucking oblivious. Patiently, she had come to him and grasped his wrist, leading the way.
A part of her had cringed that the mental image of her tugging him all over the place like some of the girls used to back home. The boys rarely looked happy when they did that. They looked embarrassed at best and at worst? Well, that was what led to tears falling, juice boxes being thrown, and teachers having to call home. Looking over her shoulder, the nerves drained away. Carl looked surprised. He looked like he could've been knocked over with a feather but he wasn't embarrassed. He wasn't trying to flee. After the surprised look came one that was happy and more than a little grateful. Carl really wanted to stay with her. He had said so earlier and meant it.
Currently, they were resting in the lounge area of the basement. She was laying on her back and he was on his side. There had been couches and chairs but Enid had used them to help barricade the second exit. The door was always locked and she had put a trip line trap there to send anyone or thing breaking in tumbling. Whatever furniture that wasn't absolutely mandatory went to that staircase. If things got hairy, the staircase could still be used as an escape route but really, there was only one way in and out. That was for the best.
The lounge area now had several rugs, faux furs, blankets, cushions, and beanbags that she had scavenged. Her old room had a big nest, too. She used to spend hours reading, drawing, and playing puzzle games on the internet. She had also had an entertainment system, which the house she had now did as well. It was filled mainly with books and comics but there were DVDs. VCR tapes, too with the machines to run them. Did he want to watch something? Read something? She should've offered him some dessert or maybe some tea...
"I'm fine, Enid."
"...you reading my mind, now?"
"Just a lucky guess."
Enid nodded and stood, looking at him. Having learned his lesson, Carl got up and followed her to bed. It was a Queen size bed with a wrought iron frame high enough off the ground for a person to comfortably hide underneath. Soft sheets, thick blankets and faux fur covered the bed's surface, along with several pillows. Enid had taken off her boots and changed into pajamas in the bathroom. Now, she had on a pair of red basketball shorts, a black t-shirt, and a pair of pink fleece ankle socks. Carl had put his boots next to hers, took off his flannel of the day (brown plaid with white detail), and underneath his beige thermal was a white undershirt.
The nightstand on his side of the bed soon held his Hat, Bowie Knife, and Beretta.
The other one had her Glock 19, alarm clock, and a desk lamp. The flowery perfume she had put on earlier was next to a bottle of cucumber scented lotion. Her mother's knife was underneath her favorite pillow and she got into bed. Instead of cocooning herself, she immediately made room for Carl. After swallowing thickly, he climbed in. He had changed into gray sweatpants before dinner so she knew that if he felt uncomfortable, it was because of how intimate they'd been already.
There had been hugging. They had held hands before hugging. Their first kisses had only been days before and now they were sharing beds? They weren't going to have sex in the beds but still! They were going at warp speed. Was it inappropriate? Were they being inappropriate?
She couldn't speak for Carl but Enid honestly didn't give a fuck if they were. Not anymore.
Life was far too short and fragile for bullshit, especially when it came to good things.
Good things were rare. She and Carl were a good thing. They were a damned good thing that neither of them had seen coming. Enid wouldn't ruin it. She would make sure that Carl wouldn't ruin it and she would be damned if she let anyone else do it. Things happened. Sometimes, relationships didn't work but if she and Carl couldn't manage to stay together as a couple, she would make sure that they would stay friends. Friends were hard to come by and...
"...is it okay if I hold you?"
She nodded and smiled as he kissed her brow again, listening to the driving rain and thunder.
"Will everything be okay with the plants and bees?"
"Rain always helps and if something does go wrong out there, between me, Maggie, and your dad, we'll be just fine. I like Maggie."
"She likes you, too. So does Glenn."
"They're perfect together. Like soulmates. Did they know each other before The End?"
"No. They met on The Farm after I got shot."
"Wait, what? Somebody shot you? Why? What happened?"
"It was an accident. A man named Otis was hunting near where we were looking for Sophia and the bullet went through the baby deer and into me. That's how we met the Greenes."
"Oh, my God."
"Getting shot didn't really hurt after the first 10 seconds. It was like BOOM and all the breath got knocked out of me before I hit the ground. The last thing I remember before waking up for the first time was my dad screaming and a lot of blood in my mouth. The blast got me in the chest and left a bunch of bullet fragments in me. Hershel took them all out and dad gave me blood transfusions until I could get better. He gave me his Hat after I woke up for good. He said that we were part of a Club now and that I was the new Sheriff in town."
"That's why...I thought you had asthma because there's always a rasp when you breathe but...oh, my God, how are you alive right now? I'm glad you are but Jesus Christ..."
"Luck. Just plain luck. We found the right people in the right place who knew how to help at the right time. That, and I guess I just wasn't ready to go yet."
Enid squeezed him and after a second, scooted away from him. Opening the second drawer of her nightstand, she pulled out something that made him grin broadly.
"Seriously?"
"Hell, yeah. I got a bunch for the school but I kept a few sheets for me."
Carefully, Enid peeled off a shiny gold star sticker and put it on the bridge of Carl's nose. His periwinkle eyes crossed as he tried to look at it and she smiled, ducking her head shyly.
"Good job, Sport."
"Thank you. How do I get more?"
"Keep living and keep kissing me. Deal?"
"Deal."
"Good. Bedtime."
/
"...so, how was it?"
Turning slowly, Carl took in the sight of Ron standing in the street, smirking at him.
"What?"
"Enid...you were at her place all night, weren't you? She's always hanging around your Group now and Sam told me that he saw you two making out. He didn't want to but I made him."
"Ron..."
"How was it, man? Was she good? I bet she was..."
"It's not like that and even if it was, it's none of your business."
"Bullshit!"
"What? What's bullshit?"
"This whole thing! Her and you. Why you?"
"I don't know."
"She...she had to know how I feel about her. She had to see it but...she barely knows you but she picked you like it was nothing. I've been right here in front of her since she got here but she just...I don't fucking get it. What did you do? What did you say?"
"I don't know."
"You have to know!"
Carl met Ron on the sidewalk, blocking him from getting closer to the house. Judith was already up. He could see Michonne and his dad in her room. Daryl would be coming out to take his guard shift soon. If Ron was going to start acting like Pete, then he wouldn't get anywhere near his family. Carl wouldn't let him. He didn't like Ron's body language or his tone of voice right now. He looked like he was going to explode at any second and the look in his eyes? God, it was so...
"Don't look at me like that! Everybody looks at me like I'm just like that asshole and it's not fair!"
When Ron made to rush him, Carl did one of the tackles Tyreese had taught him at The Prison to stop him. It was best to get someone coming at him off of their feet by going for their middle to use their speed against them. If a tackle was done right, 9 times out of 10, the asshole would go flying. If they didn't go flying, it would definitely slow them down long enough for Carl or whoever was with him to take them down for good. Waiting to see what he would do next, Carl saw that Ron was looking at up him with shocked fear.
"I'm sorry, man."
A noise that was between a scoff and laugh escaped Ron. Instead of anger or fear, there was nothing now and Carl was more unnerved by that than anything. Was Ron crazy like Lizzie?
"You're not sorry at all. You don't give a fuck about me or my family. No one in this place does. We're on our own and as soon as something bad happens, we're gonna be the first ones left behind or killed. I know what everyone says: the washed up, wasted surgeon, his weak little ex-wife who needed a Group to save her instead of doing it herself, and their two fucking demon kids making life harder for everyone. It's cool, though. See, we're all dead already. We're just not buried, yet."
Ron was definitely crazy like Lizzie but in a different way. She had thought that Walkers were alive and misunderstood. Ron just...he wasn't sure what Ron was but Carl knew he was wrong.
"It doesn't have to be like that."
"Yeah...right. Whatever."
Carl kept a close eye on Ron until he was gone and adjusted the brim of his Hat. Even with Ron's raised voice and the small scuffle, nobody had come out to gawk at them. That was good. There was less chance of people getting hurt that way. Also, he was sick of being watched like he was in some sort of soap opera. He was sick of his Group being judged and found lacking. What did they know about anything? Things were getting better but the Alexandrians as a whole still had a long way to go before they could really make it in The Fucked New World.
One thing for sure: he was definitely going to have to watch his back around Ron from now on.
Not only was Ron jealous about his relationship with Enid, he was jealous of his family. Jealous feelings could become deadly actions. Shane had proven that on The Farm and the assholes who attacked The Prison had, too. Good and dumb luck could only last for so long. Eventually, Carl knew that he'd end up dead but he would be damned if he went out without a fight first!
And Ron definitely seemed like the kind of person to try and take him out with his back turned. Either that or he'd get someone to do it for him or he'd trap him with too many Walkers around.
Ron Anderson could talk all the shit but he wasn't brave enough to back it up.
A big part of that attitude was because of Pete's bullying so Carl felt for him but only to a point. Ron was far from the first person to have a fucked up childhood and family. He didn't need to get over it but he didn't get to keep being a brooding brat because of his trauma.
The Andersons continued to be a problem, even after things changed.
Pete was still drunk and angry, despite him keeping to himself now. Jessie was still depressed and desperate. While he still felt sorry for her, Carl was still angry at what she asked Enid to do. Sam was a hermit like his dad and Ron? Goddamn it.
Honestly, every Anderson just needed to stay away from him and his family. They would get his family members hurt or killed in a crisis or during their breakdowns and if that happened? Carl wasn't sure how much mercy he would be able to show them. Probably none...
The front door opened and Michonne came out in her Constable uniform. He knew that he should stand up from the wicker chair or at least say good morning but his mind wouldn't stop racing.
"Carl? You okay?"
"...no."
She was in the chair next to him immediately and Carl looked up from his boots.
"What's the matter?"
"I've got a bad feeling about Ron. I don't want him to hurt any of us."
"You think he would?"
"I think he would try. Michonne, he's not right. A lot of it is because of his dad being an asshole but there's something else there. Something..."
"I know. All of us see it. Deanna, Denise, and Maggie are trying to figure out a way to help him."
"I don't want him to hurt Enid. I know that she can take care of herself but..."
"If something happens, we'll make sure that she'll be all right. She's one of us, now."
"She is?"
"Yeah."
"Good."
/
9 Days Later...
"The next one's going in your head. Come out with your hands up. Nice and slow."
The stranger was dressed in black and gray: most notably a leather duster and gray winter's hat. He had a white bandana covering half his face. His hair was the same shade of brown as hers and shoulder length. Even with a gun pointed at him, his crystalline eyes were kind, amused even, and that added to her wariness. He was clean, armed with a gun but he wasn't carrying anything with him. Did that mean he had a friend nearby? A vehicle or maybe a horse? He was definitely from a Camp or Community. Was he a part of a good one or was he a spy for assholes?
What did he want?
"Go inside and get Mr. Grimes. Hurry up."
Glenn and Eric quickly ushered the students away. Daryl had his crossbow up and Carl came up next to her, pointing his Beretta right in between the stranger's eyes. When neither of them said anything, Enid realized that she had been picked to take point. That made sense. She was the one who discovered the potential threat, after all. Enid lowered her gun but kept it unholstered, just in case the stranger tried anything stupid.
"Who the hell are you? Why are you watching us?"
"I'm a friend."
"Friends don't lurk in the woods watching people like a creep for the last 2 days."
"You noticed me?"
"Yep. You got a name, Friend?"
"Jesus."
"Your parents didn't name you Jesus. They loved you. Try again."
The stranger laughed and clarified, "My name is Paul Rovia. My friends call me Jesus."
"I can see why. Aren't you hot? You're wearing a ton of leather and black..."
"I'm used to it. You want to tell me your name? Your friends' names?"
"Not yet."
"Fair enough. That was a nice shot. You almost got me."
"If I wanted to get you, I would've. I didn't want to."
The sound of running didn't make her turn but her eyes widened as Rick Grimes' Colt Python slammed into the stranger's temple, knocking him out cold. Carl chuckled and rolled his eyes fondly before holstering his gun.
"Really, dad? Again?"
"Hush."
"...I don't think he's an asshole, Mr. Grimes. You-you didn't have to hit him so hard."
"Better safe than sorry. Good job spotting him, Enid. Daryl, help me with him. He's not coming in the Walls. Glenn, Sasha, go and check where he was. See if you can find anything. Michonne?"
"I got them."
Them meaning her and Carl. Seeing that Carl was about to protest, Enid grabbed his clenched fist and squeezed. After a couple of seconds, he placed his hand in hers. She gave him a pleading look as they walked behind Michonne. No, they weren't helpless. No, they weren't useless and no, they didn't need to be coddled but appearances could be deceiving. If this Jesus fellow turned out to be an asshole, the best thing they could do was to get inside. They knew how to defend themselves and protect others. If the need arose, Enid knew several hiding places inside, underneath, and around the ASZ. They would get answers later. Protecting the Community came first.
An expression that was precariously close to a pout crossed his face before he nodded.
"Thank you."
"You're welcome. What do you think he wants from us?"
"I'm not sure. He doesn't look like he's been living rough. He's clean, he's got at least one gun, and he kinda sounds like an ambassador."
"There have to be other Communities and Camps out there. Maybe he's from one of them."
"I hope he's not an asshole. He really doesn't look like it."
"Looks can be deceiving."
"True."
"He was right about one thing though: that shot was sick."
"I do what I can. You're a good shot, too. Of course, you have to be. You're the Sheriff's son."
Carl grumbled at her cheeky reply and put a hand at the small of her back to guide her through the Gate. She liked it when he did that. It felt good. They waved to Michonne as she headed back to help Rick before making sure the Gate was shut behind them. Eugene would be there to take his Gatekeeper shift soon so Enid sat down to wait for him. Even though David and Betsey, Scott, and Bruce were on Watch, it was never a good idea to leave the Gate unattended for too long.
"What else are you doing today?"
"Maggie's finishing up the harvest so I was going to hang out at the Infirmary with Denise. You?"
"Playing with Judith, folding some laundry, and then I've got Watch tonight from 10 to 6."
"You want me to keep you company?"
"You don't have to."
"Carl, do you want me to keep you company?"
"Yeah."
"All right, then. I'll show up around midnight."
"Cool. Here come Eugene and Tara. Walk me home?"
"Sure."
While passing Tara, Enid accepted her fist bump before giving the Vulcan salute to Eugene with her free hand. Her other hand was in Carl's and she grinned at Tara's wolf whistle at the now common sight. The more time passed, the more open the Grimes Group became with her, even Carol. They exchanged a recipe nearly every day and Enid could tell that the woman genuinely liked her. She was still fighting off her demons but she was getting better or at least she wasn't on the verge of breaking anymore.
Sasha liked to read in the garden and when Enid had shyly asked her to help with her shooting, she had agreed. That was why she was able to spot Jesus in the woods so easily. Sasha was one of the sweetest people around and Enid was glad that she was finally starting to settle into Alexandria.
How much that settling in had to do with Abraham, she didn't want to dwell on. As far as she knew, Abraham and Rosita were still together as a couple but...well, it wouldn't a normal life without a bit of drama, would it? Whatever happened, Enid hoped that it would be okay in the end. Rosita deserved to be happy just as much as Sasha did and she swore if Big Red handled things wrong, she would stomp him. Not too hard because that was for Sasha and Rosita to do but still!
"Carl, I..."
Whatever she was going to say was lost to the all too familiar sound of gunshots.
They looked at each other with alarm and took off running down the street.
They met Aaron on the way and he looked very grim.
"Where did they come from?"
"Pete's."
Enid blew out a breath and nodded, unholstering her gun again. After his fall from grace, Pete put himself on House Arrest. He decided that if he couldn't have his job in the ASZ anymore, then he didn't want to be a part of the Community at all. He wanted people to feel sorry for hm and to be sad that he was gone. Instead, things kept going without him, adding to his foul attitude.
Carter would bring him supplies every week and Ron would visit him every day. It was a cause for concern but nobody had stopped him from doing it. If Ron wanted to see his sperm donor, that was his choice. Why, Enid didn't understand. Jessie and Sam, as miserable as they still were, wanted nothing more to do with the bastard, much to his displeasure. In Pete's eyes, everything was just a misunderstanding and...
"Hi, guys."
"Ron, what did you do? Where's Pete?"
An eerie smile was his reply but given that his face was splattered with blood, Enid could connect the dots. Ron was still holding the gun and she backed away slowly, bringing Carl with her.
"What's the matter, Enid? Are you scared of me?"
"Right now? Yeah. You just killed your dad, didn't you?"
"He had it coming for being such an asshole. Don't worry. I shot him in the head so he won't Turn. When I pulled out the gun, he started laughing at me. He said that I didn't have the guts to do it. He said that I was weak and useless just like my Mom but he was wrong. I'm strong and now, he's gone forever. I did my job and took care of my family. Aren't you proud of me?"
No, she really wasn't. Yes, Pete Anderson being dead was a good thing. It was one less threat to Alexandria's future. One of the biggest sources of nay-saying and potential rebellion was gone. No more resources would be wasted on him. Denise would no longer wince every time the Infirmary door opened. Sam and Jessie would no longer have to worry about the Boogeyman coming back to get them but it seemed that Ron had taken on the mantle. His smile was bright but his eyes were as dead as his dad. Enid knew that he had been teetering on the edge for a long time. Him losing his shit was inevitable but she had expected him to kill himself, not this!
"Ron, please give me the gun."
"How come, Aaron? Everyone else has guns, now. Why can't I have one?"
"Ron?!"
"Hi, Mom. Where's Sam? Still hiding in his room listening to that stupid fucking Tulip song?"
"Baby, are you okay? What did you do? Whose blood is that?"
"I did what I had to do. You wanna see?"
"In a minute. Listen, Deanna and Reg want to talk to you. You're not in trouble but..."
"I better not be. They knew what he was doing to us but they wouldn't do shit, not until Saint Rick made them. Where is he at, anyways? He's supposed to be in charge, isn't he? That's why you like him so much. You dream about him and give him Bambi eyes but it's not gonna happen. He's with Michonne so it's never gonna happen just like me and Enid because she's with Carl. Typical."
"I'm so sorry."
"You should be. It's your fault that she doesn't want me. Yours and Pete's. You both ruined me."
"If I could do it all again..."
"Save it."
The eerie smile was gone and the gun was up again, now pointing directly at Jessie's face. The blonde cringed at the sight of it but stood firm. More people were coming to help. Enid could hear them running and Carl put his arms around her, shielding her with his body. His pulse was pounding in his neck and she patted his shoulder, trying to calm him down.
"You're not gonna say anything? You're not gonna try to stop me?"
"If...if it's what you feel like you have to do, then okay. I just want you to be happy. That's all I've ever wanted and I kept fucking up. I should've been stronger. I should've left him a long time ago but I was too scared to do it. I was a coward and you and Sam paid the price for it. I'm sorry."
"...me too."
Everyone screamed as another shot rang out but instead of Jessie's, Ron's brain took the bullet. Enid heard the body hit the ground and retched. As if released from a puppeteer's strings, Jessie went to her knees. The guttural wail she let out was heart wrenching and Carol knelt with her, hugging her from the side. Enid was shaking and everything was just so bad, terrible...
"Go. Carl, take her and go. Now."
Rick. That was Rick's voice. He was back inside the Walls. Deanna and Reg were with him, too. They were crying. Everyone was crying. Where was Jesus or Paul or whatever he called himself? Where had he come from? Was he an asshole or a good person? Was anyone going to tend to Ron's body? Pete wasn't worth more than the bare minimum but even with all of his issues, Ron didn't deserve to just lay there like roadkill or a downed Chomper. That wouldn't be right.
What was going to happen to the ASZ? What was going to happen to Jessie and Sam? Why had it come to this? Knowing that something bad happening was inevitable didn't make it any easier to endure. It just made it hurt more and...and...
Was she a terrible person for being relieved that Ron was dead?
The situation was beyond fucked up. It should've never happened but Enid knew that it could've been much worse. More people could've been hurt or killed if he continued his rampage. Ron would've come after her next. In his mind, she had broken his heart, after all. If not her, then definitely Carl or another member of his family would've been targeted. Now that Ron was dead, those fears had been put to rest. She had said that she was willing to kill him if he tried to do anything to hurt her and she hadn't been lying at the time but...oh, god...
"Carl?"
"I'm right here."
They were at the Grimes House. Carl had taken her home with him. They were actually in his bedroom. When had they gotten there? Had she been that out of it?
"He...he..."
"I know. I saw him do it."
"You made sure that I didn't."
"Yeah."
"...thank you..."
"I'm gonna take care of you as long as I can, Enid. That's how this works."
"I-I wanna take care of you, too."
"You do. Every day. Stay here, I need to check on Judith."
"There's still the stranger to worry about. Jesus or Paul or whatever the hell his name is..."
"I'll be right back."
"I'll be right here."
"...you promise?"
She nodded.
A part of her wanted to run away and never look back but what good would it do? It wouldn't make the pain stop. Running away would actually hurt her more than staying. Alexandria was home base, now. There were people who she would miss terribly behind its Walls. People like Maggie, Glenn, and Aaron. And Carl. She didn't want to leave him behind. Also, Enid knew for a fact that if she ran away, he would chase her to the ends of what was left of the Earth. There would be a whole search party put together, which would waste resources and time. She didn't want to cause trouble. She didn't want to put anyone in unnecessary danger and...
More tears spilled out of her eyes as the bed shifted and Carl spooned up behind her. He buried his face in her shoulder and Enid could feel him crying, too. They laid there for a long while, trying to process what had happened. The day had started out so normally and now it was a huge tragic mess, all before noon. Christ, it wasn't even noon yet! Slowly, she turned around and he held her tighter, rolling onto his back. Reaching, she found the pulse point in his wrist and he found the one at her collarbone. Ron was dead but they weren't. They were still breathing and...
"Why did he do it?"
"Sometimes, the sadness is just too much."
"No, that I get. I just want to know why he did it like that. Why did he make everybody watch? Why did he make his mom watch? What...was it supposed to be like one last 'up yours' to everyone? A 'look what you made me do' type of thing? And as fucked up as it is, I can't help but be glad that he just went after Pete before doing it. He could've done way worse."
"We're both fucked up because I feel the same way. I thought...I've been scared he was gonna come after you. I had dreams, nightmares of him coming after you."
"Same. I was scared that he'd hurt you or your dad or even Judith."
"Someone needs to go check on Sam."
"Someone needs to stay with Jessie. I was pissed at her for asking me to use my pussy as a band-aid. I really was but she meant well. She just wanted everyone to be okay. She tried."
"She did."
"...life can be a real bitch, sometimes."
"Yeah."
/
The Next Evening...
It wasn't the first and unfortunately, it would be far from the last sunrise funeral he had been to.
The rest of the day had been spent in near silence. Everyone that had a job to do still did it but there was so much gloom in the air. Carl knew the feeling all too well. It had been at The Camp after the Walker attack, on the road from the destroyed CDC, The Farm after Sophia, The Prison...it only made sense that it would come to Alexandria. Bad things happened. Bad people happened and it couldn't be avoided.
Still, the pointlessness of it burned. Knowing in his mind that Pete and Ron had made their own choices didn't stop his heart from screaming for a better answer. It didn't stop him from feeling guilty for not trying harder to get through to Ron. Yes, the only person that could've saved Ron was Ron at the end of the day but could he have said something, done something differently? Half of a family was Gone and given how they looked during the service, the other half didn't have much longer to stay. Jessie had laid down on Ron's grave and Sam was mute, staring but seeing nothing. Carol and Denise were staying with them but the sadness...god, the sadness...
"He spoke well. Gabriel."
Enid was standing by the pond near the gazebo and he jumped down to join her.
"Giving a good eulogy's the least he can do after the shit he tried to pull."
Maggie had overheard him talking to Deanna, calling the Group nothing but monsters and sinners that the ASZ needed to be protected from. Thankfully, Deanna hadn't listened but the damage was done. Gabriel was persona non grata among them and it would be a long time before Carl forgave him, much less his dad. It had taken a lot but Michonne had stopped everyone from ending him. If they did, it would prove him right and risk their place in Alexandria. The best thing to do was to keep showing Deanna that they were good people and to let Gabriel stew in his own juices. If he saw them as monsters, then he could go back to being on his own or look to the Alexandrians for protection and friends. To the man's credit, he at least seemed genuinely sorry now.
"Jesus isn't an asshole. He's from a place called The Hilltop 10 miles West from here. It was a museum before The End. Now, it's a Walled Place like here. There's a big brick house, lots of FEMA trailers, a doctor, livestock, blacksmiths, and tons of crops. Way more than I can grow, even with your dad and Maggie helping me for years. He wants to take a squad to his Leader to make a trading and protection deal. They've got another one with a place called The Kingdom about 8 miles North of there and it's working out. You were right about more Communities. There are definitely assholes out there that we'll have to deal with but right now? We found new friends."
"Wow."
"Yeah. The Council's going to let everyone know tomorrow morning and get on the road. Your dad told me what's going on now because he wants me to come with them. I'm the main farmer and the beekeeper so I guess that means I'm important."
"You are. I'm going to stay behind with Judith if he asks me to come with you guys. I want to see the other Communities and meet new people but I...I'm not ready to be far away from her yet."
"I get it. Maybe one day we can go on a Run together or something. A road trip would be fun."
"I'd like that. I'd like that a lot."
"After we get the deal done, I hope we can bring back a cow. I fucking love cows."
Carl laughed at that and she punched him in the shoulder, thankfully without her brass knuckles.
"Shut up, cows are great and oh my god, we're gonna have cheese again! And real eggs and milk, too. I'm gonna make you and Judith grilled cheese. I make the best grilled cheese..."
Even if it tasted awful, Carl would love it because she made it for him. He still felt the gloom but Enid was making it better. She always did. Talking to her, listening to her, just holding her hand helped him remember the good before the bad. She was like Michonne, Judith, his dad, all the people he was close to. He wanted to live. That was plain truth. He was willing to fight to live but having people close to his heart, people who wanted and needed him to stay alive? It kept him from giving into the lingering demons inside of him. Everyone had their demons. Everyone had their monsters and not everybody could hold them off. Ron, Pete, and so many others had proven that. But, for the time being and hopefully well into the future, Carl could.
And Enid should be a part of that future. He really wanted her to be part of it.
/
"Olivia helped me put it together. It's a Best of Alexandria box. It should make the negotiations go faster and every road trip needs snacks, you know?"
"I do. Good job, Enid."
Hearing praise from Michonne Grimes made her feel 20 feet tall. Her and her husband, not just because they were Carl's parents but because they were the Best. Rick and Michonne were what every Survivor should strive to be, every LEADER. They knew what to do and when to do it so if they said that someone was on the right track, they were.
"Carl's not coming with us."
"I know. He told me yesterday. He wants to stay close to Judith. He's a good big brother."
"He's a good man in general."
"Just like his dad. That's why we're with them."
"...that and they're cute."
Enid laughed and Michonne beamed at her before climbing into the RV. Carefully setting the crate down, she watched as Rick and Carl talked on the porch. The two of them hugged tightly before Rick got in the RV with Michonne and Jesus. Abraham and Tara were putting the last of the gas in the RV. With Rick, Daryl, Glenn, Maggie, Abraham, and Michonne all being part of the delegation, Carl was going to be in charge of the Grimes Group. If need be, he would also be the one in charge of the ASZ's defense and a voice on the Council with Sasha. Deanna and Reg would visit The Hilltop and The Kingdom after everything was set. For now, both Monroes would stay behind and continue concentrating on expanding the ASZ's territory.
With the addition of livestock and horses would come the need to clear more area before building more of the Walls. More solar panels had been found and were already being installed in people's yards, as well as the common areas. Deanna also wanted to build a playground and Enid was already planning her Run to help. That would be the Run she would take Carl with her on. Carl was creative, resourceful, and just the idea of getting to spend so much time with him without adults? Yeah. It was happening. Maybe not before spring but it would happen and it would be...
Carl carefully passed a drowsy Judith to Olivia and headed right for her. Passing the crate of goods to Tara, she met him halfway. Gathering her in his arms, he pressed a deep kiss to her lips. Surprised but pleased, Enid immediately responded, standing on her tiptoes and embracing him tenderly. Dimly, she registered catcalling and a couple of honks from the RV's horn but she could barely hear it over the pounding of her heart.
When had Carl gotten so bold? Who or what had inspired him and how could Enid thank them?
Her eyes drifted open and Carl kept cupping her face, looking at her as if were memorizing her.
"You come back home to me, all right?"
His voice was husky, filled with more Deep South than ever, and it made her knees wobble, as did the fierce look in his periwinkle gaze. Carl Grimes may be precious and adorable like his sister. He may be a sweet Southern Gentlemen with a heart of gold but he was very much a grown man, now. Enid wouldn't be forgetting that fact anytime soon and neither would anyone else.
"I'll do my best."
"Then, I'm not worried. Stay close to my parents and get it done. I know you can. "
"I'm gonna bring us home a cow and some chickens, Scarecrow. Just you wait."
"Hell, yeah. Go, so you can come back and I want that grilled cheese. You promised."
"I did. I gotta go. Everyone's waiting..."
"Come back to me."
"I will. I...never mind..."
"Say it."
"It's too soon."
"No, it's not. Say it. Please say it?"
"...I love you. I love you, Carl. So fucking much."
"I love you, too. Go."
Carl pecked her lips, gave her behind a quick squeeze, and headed back to the porch. Once Judith was back in his arms, he used the giggling toddler's hand to wave to her. Enid smiled as she waved back, getting into the RV.
That was her future. Everything that had just happened was what she wanted her future to be. She wanted to be a part of a Community. She wanted to be part of a family and she wanted it with Carl Grimes. Anything could happen. Anything and anyone bad could happen at any time. Tomorrow was never promised. Hell, with The Dead roaming around, the next hour was never promised but if Enid had a choice, she would fight to stay as long as she could.
After losing her parents, Enid never thought that she would feel happy again. She never thought that she would feel like she belonged anywhere. As time passed behind Alexandria's Walls, she had resigned herself to the fact that she would be alone for the rest of her life. She wouldn't have friends or family again, both by choice and by circumstance. She would always be too hurt to try and nobody would be brave or patient enough to try.
She had been wrong.
The Virus, The Spread, and The End had changed everything, broken everything.
But just because things were broken didn't mean that they couldn't grow again.
All it took was time, patience, and a bit of luck.
All it took was someone to care.
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Americans and whatever other country has health insurance. what happens if you don't have health insurance? What is health insurance? Why do you need it? I live in Australia and I don't understand why you need health insurance when we don't.
Pregnant? Health Insurance?
My bf and I have been intimate for the past almost 3 years, which is how long we've been together, we've only used protection a few times. I have been on BC for the past year to a year and a half, it's the generic for Tri-Nessa. About 2 weeks ago, maybe a little longer than that, I quit the BC and we had unprotected sex for maybe 3 days in a row and he came inside of me, on the third day after we had finished I got cramps in my lower back which usually is how my cramps feel a day or two before I get my period but I also had very light bleeding and the next day it had gotten heavier and lasted a couple days. Now this was no where near the date I'm supposed to get my period, which I thought was weird. I took three pregnancy tests but they were all negative, then again I took them way too soon. I have a appt with my obgyn on Monday. Also, ive been feeling sluggish, not wanting to move much, when I sit down on the couch its like i cant get comfortable and my side like cramps up. Opinions? About insurance, I'm on insurance with my mom because she has food stamps and gets a disability check, so I have united health care insurance through her. I dropped out of school, dumb decision, I know, but I found a babysitting job and I get paid $150 a week. So they didn't put me in the school program at welfare. Now my insurance will run out in August when I turn 18 so if I find out I'm pregnant would they give me and the baby free insurance? My sister just had her third and she plus my nephew had both received free Medicaid. She's 28 so does free insurance differ by age? Since she's 28 and I'm 18 is she eligible for it because she's older or am I eligible as well? My bf and I have been busting our asses looking for jobs and he's signed up for The National Gaurd. We've been together way too long and he is very happy whether I am pregnant or not, he's a good man. I don't give a crap about any rude comments or opinions, I am just looking for advice from girls with experience.""
How much would my car insurance go down average?
hi everyone, i am 18 and still on my 1st year car insurance paying 177 a month/2200 a year. 1 litre vauxhall corsa. just wanted an estimate on how much it would go down after the 1st year with no claims from expierienced drivers. thanks :).""
Why you would be better off buying a 20 year term life insurance policy at age 25......?
Why you would be better off buying a 20 year term life insurance policy at age 25 rather that buying a one-year renewable policy?
Will homeowner insurance rates go through the roof if Cap and Tax passes through the Senate?
HYPOTHETICALLY............If you are trying to sell a house, you get audited (like it says in the bill) and they say that you have to upgrade a whole lot of stuff that you can't ...show more""
How much would my Car insurance cost?
Im 16 years old, i have my class 5 liscense, and i have completed a drivers ed course that supports safer driving. I want to buy a 1999 Acura integra, it doesnt have a vtec engine, and everything is pretty much stock, except sound system and rims. how much would i pay for insurance monthly?""
""Crashed fathers car, i have open insurance, car is still insureed in guys name bought car from?""
hi bought car, put it in my fathers name, before got chance to insure it, some lady totally at fault(for the accident) crashed into me. father has no insurance on car but he is the registered owner. the guy i bought the car off never cancelled his insurance on the car but was not the registered owner when i crashed. i have another policy on another car that says i have open insurance so long as the car is insured. well the car is insured but is the insurance void since seller is no longer the registered owner of the car. am i insured. thx for your time""
Car insurance question?
im planning on getting a dodge neon srt 4, im 20 i been driving since i was 16, i got my full license at 18. i have no accidents, tickets or anything(knock on wood). does anyone know how much it would be a month. im also planing on putting 4,000 down on it.""
Insurance for Young People?
I'm 21 years old, I live in Northern Ireland (which is not covered by a lot of insurance companies) and I was wondering if it is possible to get reasonably priced car insurance. I'm sure anyone my age knows that insurance for under 25s is a nightmare! Is there a way to get round it perhaps? A type of car that is cheaper to insure? I would appreciate some suggestions on the matter. Thanks.""
How much is my insurance?
I basically know nothing about insurance. im 17, the car is a 99 kia sephia with 80,000 miles and its red. i live in a suburban town in new jersey. help me out p.s. i didnt want to find a quote thing online because i dont want them calling my house and stuff since u have to give info""
I would like to know which is the average prize for a scooter insurance?
I would like to buy a new scooter, i don't know yet which one exacly but it' s probably going to be a 250cc or 125cc , prize around 2000 - 3000. I would just like to know which can be the average prize to insure it, as I checked on the net for a quote but all of of them ask me for my details and everything....I am a little bit scared to give my all my details away to an unknown website over the internet, so I was just wondering if somebody could give me at least an idea on the average scooter insurance prize ( I know I know, I am so inexperinced about this things!!! ) By the way, my age is 32, if that makes the difference Thank you very much for your help in advance.""
How do I cancel California Blue Cross insurance?
I have been trying to cancel my policy for 3 months. I even tried to stop payment at my bank, but they keep getting around the stop payments by charging different amounts each month. (This month they decided to charge me $50 more than last month) When I call them, I am on hold for over 30 minutes before I finally just give up. On their website, there is NO information about how to cancel your policy whatsoever. Why is it that they don't have ANY information on their California Blue Cross website about how to cancel??? Does anyone know of an address or fax number or wherever I am supposed to send written cancellation to or how do I go about cancelling????""
Where can I find cheap auto insurance after a DUI?
I have a bad driving record that includes a DUI and driving with a suspended. I am looking for some way of getting reasonable priced auto insurance in Florida. I went to Geico and they want to charge me around $700 a month! Also what is an SR-22?
Seabeck Washington Cheap car insurance quotes zip 98380
Seabeck Washington Cheap car insurance quotes zip 98380
In CANADA - Why is car insurance cheaper for women?
I understand that women are less liability statistically, but to base car insurance rates on gender is a violation of the Charter of rights and Freedom - despite the fact all regulations, policies and laws are suppose to be constituted by it ... One of two things can be the case, either: 1) The Charter is a piece of paper as important as the toilet paper which I use to clean myself after excrement. 2) There is something which I am not understanding. Someone please offer a good explain and ill give ten points.""
Failed to prove car insurance at a traffic stop.?
I was pulled over for my license plate not being visible, and I did not have my insurance slip on me. The police officer wrote me up for the license plate not being visible and failed to prove insurance . Can somebody please tell me how much will these tickets cost me and how can I go about fixing them?""
Good Student Discount Auto Insurance?
I have a 3.6 GPA. My grade is A average, but one of my quarter grade was a C, but the final semester came out as a B. Well, anyways, do we just send them the report card that we got or do we have to get the sealed one from school? Thanks! Thanks again!""
What is the cheapest motorcycle insurance?
so im gonna get a motorcycle but i dont know much about all the insurance and stuff..and i just wanted to know which is the cheapest? i go to school with a guy who pays $80 every 3 months, which is only about $26 every month, which seems like a pretty good deal.""
Do you sell car insurance? PLEASE LOOK IF YOU DO! :)?
HI! I used to work at Cost-U-Less Insurance in Humboldt county Northern California... about 5 years ago. we worked on commission only.. so if you didn't write a policy you ...show more
Student health insurance and graduation?
I purchased a years worth of student health insurance (aetna/chickering), but I am graduating right now..(late December). What happens now ? Will my insurance be canceled or will be cut if the unthinkable happens and the clinic tries to verify my insurance ?""
What is the best website to compare car insurance rates?
I've been searching for the past few days and can't seem to find anything that actually compares quotes even though a lot of websites say they do. Anyone know of a great website that can help?
Liability Car Insurance for another state?
Hi, I would really appreciate if someone could give me an answer to resolve this situation: Facts: 1- I legally own a car in the US, currently I'm overseas. 2- My friend has a complete power of attorney 3- Car was registered in California and now is staying in Virginia for almost a year. 4- I put the car on Nonoperational status with CA DMV and canceled insurance in 08.2008. 5- I need to make my car drivable again, and my friend has to move it to MD where she lives. 6- To put car back on road with CA plates I should renew the registration with CA DMV. 7- CA DMV requires the liability insurance before registration. 8- My friend was at the insurance company (Progressive Insurance) and they say, they cannot insure the car with Californian liability unless the car is physically in CA. Wnen I'll be back to US in couple of months I have to drive car back to CA, because I study there so my residence is CA. Can anyone tell me please how this situation can be resolved? - I don't wanna sell my car - registration with MD MVA is the last expensive and unwanted option.""
""Just moved into small block of flats,and changing car insurance.?""
Just moved into small block of flats,and changing car insurance. Car is in a brick build car port under the building but shared with another car and among other shared car ports, is this then quoted as being in a car park, unlocked compound or car port?""
""I'm under 25 and paying $50 dollars for car insurance, for a parked car.?
Am I paying too much in coloado? Should I try to find cheaper insurance?
I am unemployed and need dental insurance to get 2 root canals & 2 crowns. Help!?
I do not qualify for medicaid or family health plus. I have to pay for 2 root canals ($1400), 2 crowns($2000), 1 tooth extraction ($200) and cost of adult orthodontic treatment ($7000)!!! I am looking for private dental insurance but am having a very hard time finding... anyone can suggest any or other ieas to help me in this situation? I live in New York City... am 25 year old woman, single no kids, receive unemployment benefits after lay-off.""
Help with health insurance please?
Hi there, I was wondering what are some good affordable health insurance companies that will take pre existing conditions also? What other companies are there besides blue shield and medi cal.Thank you in advance.""
What is the difference between term/whole life insurance vs accidental death insurance?
I'm trying to buy life insurance for myself and my mother. I read up on this survivorship insurance which sounded pretty good since I wanted something for my mother if I were do die first and vice versa. but most of the online quotes I saw were between spouses... But I got confused when I read about accidental death ins- does this mean I will not be covered if I die of an illness or old age- but instead must die of an accident such as auto or slip and fall?? secondly, would I get taxed on the interest earned on the universal/whole ins or when the policy is paid out/ surrendered?""
""Could you please help me to find a good and cheap private insurance in NSW, for a family of 3?""
Hi we are a family of 3, and looking for private insurance""
Quiting smoking. Insurance will cover the patch.?
Only if I have a perscription from a doctor. I can purchase the patch or gum at the pharmacy with out a perscription. Why does the insurance company insist on a perscription for it to be covered. It just dosent make since. A lot more people would quit or at least try, if the patch and gum was alot cheeper. To purchase it out right the patch runs about $35 to get it with a perscription it is only $20. That is less than a carton of cigaretts. Why dont they make it easier to make that discision to quit. Make the quit smoking aid less expensive then a carton of cigaretts.""
Is this normal for home insurance?
I have AAA-California home insurance and we had an incident yesterday involving a squirrel and our fire suppression sprinkler lines. AAA says they only cover the damage caused (carpets, sheetrock, moisture, etc.) by the squirrel eating through the lines, but will not cover the cost of repairing the lines. Is this standard for all home insurance, or do I just have a crappy policy?""
""What would my insurance possibly be with a 318 V8, for my first truck? (vehicle)?""
okay, im 15 now, but i found a truck i want desparetly, its an 87 dodge it needs some work but for a first car, any vehicle i want will need some work, i can get the truck fairly cheap an have to put money into it, an rebuild the carborator, etc. but if i get it now, an have it running, for when i get m license, everyone is telling me that having a 318 V8 is going to be expensive insurance, does anyone have any idea how much a price range would be? or a way to figure out a price range to insure this truck? Please an Thankyou.""
Sent a fake transcript to a car insurance for good student discount?
So me like an idiot sent a transcript from my college to Geico car insurance and it was altered. I thought that in the next semester, i can be able to make it all up. the altered transcript had 2 C's 2 A's and 1 B. What can i do now? I am really afraid because I really don't know what to do anymore. I feel like committing suicide because of this. What should i do? My original gpa for the transcript was 2.50""
Car Insurance for 19 year old?
I'm planning on taking my driving test during summer, and hopefully if I pass I want to buy a car. My mums made enquiries about putting me under her car insurance and roughly the prices have been between 3,000-4,000 which is ridiculous. Does anyone recommend/know any car insurance companies where I can get insurance for around 1,500 max ?""
When does health insurance expire when you move out of state?
Suppose you have health insurance in New York, and you plan to move to California. Before the actual move, you drive a vehicle across country, get a California license, register your vehicle, and register to vote. Then you fly back to New York for four months. You go to the doctor, and your NY insurance pays up. But then you get a letter from the insurance company, sent to the CA address but forwarded to NY, saying they heard you'd moved, so your insurance will be cancelled. You write back, telling them their information is premature, and that you'll change insurance when you complete the move. After four months, you complete the move to CA, and two days after your arrival, you start feeling woozy -- feverish with occasional headaches -- requiring bed rest and lots of fluids. If this doesn't clear up in a day or two, you'll want to see a doctor. Will you be covered by the NY insurance, given that you haven't had time yet to get CA insurance?""
Will my insurance go up?
i got my first ticket for not stopping correctly at a stop sign. Will my insurance go up? isnt it a violation which doesnt really make the premium go up.
How do insurance companies determine fault?
I was in an accident. My insurance company told me I was 0% at fault and the other driver 100% at fault. The other insurance company said i was 50% at fault and the other driver was 50% at fault. what happens next? who suppose to agree with who?
Affordable Health Insurance?????
hi everyone...im asking this question for my parents. they are 56 (dad) n 53 (mom)....both of them are permanently disabled. my mom has been on ssi and disability since i was 5 (now 23) due to a severe back injury that left her unable to work. my father was forced to retire about a year ago due to a hip replacement, crooked spine and back surgery that left him crippled for months. my father now receives his retirement and ssi as well...however due to extreme circumstances they both just lost their medical insurance from another provider. what options do they have??? how can they get coverage??? thats affordable...??? medicare doesnt kick in for my father for 24 months after he first started receiving his ssi benefits. n my mom said for her to get it its very expensive. what do they do???""
Does anyone know the best/cheapest uk car insurance provider after an accident?
I have been driving for 17 years, have no points or bans etc and have 9+ years no claims bonus. For the past 4 years i have driven a 1990 honda prelude that i loved, it was broken into last year, and a few weeks ago got wrote off (insistent it was my fault grrr). My insurance has gone from 25 per month to 50 per month for moving house and now for exactly the same model of car they want to put it up to 96 per month, not because of the crash but because its a new car, even though its the same model???? This is with the green insurance company. does anyone know of a really good company that might give me similar to what I pay now? I thought the idea of protecting the no claims bonus was so that the premiums dont go through the roof??? thankyou for any help and sensible answers xx""
Cheap health insurance?
what is the cheapest health insurance in california? i am male 22, i do not smoke..""
Seabeck Washington Cheap car insurance quotes zip 98380
Seabeck Washington Cheap car insurance quotes zip 98380
I was in a car accident that was not my fault. Does my insurance go up?
This guy in front of me backed into my front end at a stop light. We both got out and he tried compromising. I refused and called the cops and took down his plates and the make of the car. Good thing I did because he left right after I called. I think this guy may have been illegal he didnt speak english and was very eager for me to not call the cops. I felt bad but my car is really messed up. Is my insurance going to go up? If so how much?
What is the cheapest car insurance for a blind 17 year old driver?
What is the cheapest car insurance for a blind 17 year old driver?
What is the difference between whole and term life insurance? what is a unit?
What is the difference between whole and term life insurance? what is a unit?
How much will insurance cost lower by taking online driver's ed in Florida?
I'm 18 years old and I live in Tallahassee, Florida. I used to have a 1996 Mazda Protege DX and it cost me $127.00 a month with Acceptance Insurance. I never have had a ticket or have been in a wreck. I see some people who have way newer cars than I do and insurance is way cheaper for them. How much will insurance, on average, lower a month if I plan on taking online driver's ed in the state of Florida?""
Other or new insurance companies Non-exclusive?
Hello there, I have a client, she is 18 years old and has a 1997 Toyota Corolla. She came by for insurance 2 days ago and I have quoted her with: Allied, Safeco, Hartford, Progressive, Mapre, Mercury, Metlife, Chubb, Hanover, AARP, Travelers, Golden Eagle, Nationwide, California Auto, Foremost, Liberty Mutual, State Fund, and around 4 more that I can't pull out of my head. The cheapest quote received was from Mercury Insurance for: 15/30/15 UM:10 MEDICAL:1000 COMP:1000 COLL:1000 No rental Premium: $2,103.90 It's basically what the car is worth if not more. Do you happen to know other non-exclusive companies that would take her? She has a clean DMV record. FSC is pulling very high premiums. Thank you very much.""
What is the best insurance for a new driver?
Im 18 and just got my license in october 2013. I bought a 1992 honda civic and I dont know what insurance is best for me. What do you guys suggest? I live in orange county, if that helps haha thanks!""
How much will insurance cost for a 16 year old.?
Nissan 350z in florida. I heard that if you take drivers ed in school it lowers your insurance, is this true? To SLACKER286 (answers all of my car questions lol): how old are you and how much is your insurance each month for your 350z, thanks""
What is full coverage auto insurance?
What counts as full coverage auto insurance in California? Thanks!
I need help for cheaper auto insurance... any suggestions in my situation?
I was really stupid as a kid. When I first got my New York State drivers license within half a year I had gotten 2 speeding tickets, a DWI under the age of 21 (I blew a .16 and was reduced to a dwai luckily), seatbelt violation, talking on the phone while driving, and not fully stopping at a stopping at a stop sign. I got my license suspended for a year and I've been able to drive for over a year now. Ive matured a lot sense I was in high school and regret all of it but because of all the stupid, irresponsible, things I did when I was a teenager my insurance just to drive is putting me in debt its so high. Does anyone have any advice to get cheaper insurance in the same situation as me? And please no your a bad person you could have killed someone responses. I've learned my lesson and would like to go on with my life without paying thousands of dollars for insurance. Thank you!""
How much would i pay for car Insurance?
How much would i pay for car Insurance for cheap car that cost me honda accord 2000,I am 28 Years old, never been in any accident,I got my license 8 years ago""
What is insurance?
What is insurance?
Does sprint phone insurance cover a cracked iPhone 5c screen?
Help! My Daughter dropped my new iPhone 5c and the screen totally shattered!! Is this covered??
Question for uk drivers: How much does disqualification effect car insurance?
Was convicted 5 months ago for permitting use of a vehicle without third party insurance and driving with not in accordance with a licence . Got 4 month disqualification but managed to keep driving licence just need to re-apply for it back from d.v.l.a. Does being disqualified greatly effect insurance? will it affect insurance the same as say drink driving?
Auto Insurance Company?
How long dose it take for your insurance company to paid lost wages. Do they paid lost wages once a month or every two weeks,also in the state of michigan how much can you receive for lost wages.""
Classic Car Insurance for Young Drivers?
Always been a fan of Old Minis. Always been in the family. Uncle has had various Mini projects. I've read so many different things about classic car insurance. I'm 17 Years old, recently passed. I've heard that you get get classic car insurance at this age for close to and under 1000. I may not be driving until i turn 18. Won't be driving much. Odd weekend's and to Sixth form a few late days when i can't get a lift off my parent. My Sixth form has it's own car park and the car will be parked on the drive. Just wondering how true the claims are of the cars being cheaper to insure. If so which companies should i go about contacting, and is it best via website or phoning them. Also i would be looking at any Mini, would prefer a 1275 GT. However realise this would cost more. Not bothered about having a Mini 850 or a normal Mini 1000, as i know the Special Eds will cost more.""
""What can i do? i am a 20yr old male, living in southern california with no job or insurance?""
i went to the hospital a couple days ago for chest pain, ended up being fine. i got the bill today for 15,000 dollars. like i said i have no insurance or job and currently living with a friend. i do side jobs to pay a little rent and for food. do i qualify for medi cal or CSM? i move from friend to friends house. parents live back in Illinois i have only a brother that lives out here. is their anything i can do to get this bill to go away? i also have no car or own anything of significant value.. no bank accounts.""
Does lojack reduce auto insurance rates?
Does lojack reduce auto insurance rates?
What is the age that someone who is not on your car insurance can drive your car?
What is the age that someone who is not on your car insurance can drive your car?
""I want to buy a traders insurance policy, how much about?
im 32 female and want to start buying and selling cars but i need an insurance policy to suit. il prob be buying 1 or 2 cars a week. how much should my policy cost? i have been driving for over 10 years with 7 NCB
Sports car with low insurance cost?
i'm 16 and i'm going to get a car when i'm 18. i'm saving up more money so i can get a good car. i take cars very seriously. i was thinking of getting a 1990-1996 miata or a car like that. i want a want a good looking car that has rwd and manual transmission.
Will my grandfathers insurance go up if I was using the car?
My grandfather let me use his car for work one day (I have no car of my own) and I got a ticket. I went to court today for it, the gave me one point on my license. Will this effect his insurance even though its not my car and I am not on the policy? Or will it only effect my insurance when I get a car of my own?""
How Much Homeower Insurance Do I need?
How Much Homeower Insurance Do I need?
Will my insurance price change?
I've been on my parents insurance account for over a year with no accidents on my record and I pay 200 a month, so if I have my own account from my parents will there be any price changes of either raise or lower? I'm so confused""
""How much more will it cost to add another car to insurance for a teenager with license, already have to cars?""
I have already two cars with Mercury insurance, and how much more will the price raise to add a third car to Insurance for a teenager who has license""
Can a convicted felon obtain a licence to sell insurance?
I am a 33 yr old female in Texas with a federal coviction. Can I obtain an insurance license to start my own business? I have been selling insurance for the past 3 years and I would like to open my own franchise. Is it possible, if so where/how can I start?""
Seabeck Washington Cheap car insurance quotes zip 98380
Seabeck Washington Cheap car insurance quotes zip 98380
Can I be covered under my girlfriend's insurance plan if we have lived together for a year and a half?
My girlfriend works for AT&T and is enrolled in their insurance plan. I just graduated from college, and have not started employment with my job yet. The insurance coverage I had with ...show more""
Will car insurance cost more if i fail my road test?
I just failed my G1 exit test, and I am wondering if this will affect my insurance once I do pass""
What are cheap car insurance companies in nj? Or anywhere?
New driver and looking for an affordable price for auto insurance
Car Insurance?
My car insurance renews in january.. what if I pay it all off say by april, but then I get a new car in May does the insurance transfer over and I pay the difference for the new car? and what if I didn't pay off all the insurance but got a new car would I not have to pay off the rest of the balance? I never understood this.. thank youu""
Looking for individual dental insurance in NY without a 12-month waiting period - is there such a thing?
I'm shopping around for dental insurance and most plans I see have a 12 month waiting period for major procedures - and I'm going to need to get my wisdom teeth out soon. Can anybody recommend me a plan? Thanks!
Car insurance questions!?!!? HELP! accident!?
Hey, three weeks ago, I got into a car accident and rear ended someone in the front with suv. I had a honda, and the insurance company declared it totaled and they are going to pay around 9k for the car. Since it was rear-end accident, insurance company held me for 100% at fault. The suv had broken/dented bumper and lower part of trunk lid dented (No broken lights or anything). I would say around few thousand dollars worth of damage. There were 3 people in the car and at the time they said they are all ok, and drove off. No police report was filed. When I called at night to get one of the guy's birthday, he said all three went to emergency, and had whiplash pain in neck area (which is understandable from rear-end accident). I had full coverage so I know my insurance comp. would pay their bills. The thing I am scared about is what if they sue me? I am from low-class family and a full time student on loans so I have no money or even a job. If they do, how much can they sue me for?""
Mother has Mental Illness but no Insurance?
We are at the moment living in california but my mother has mental illness when we were back in The Netherlands she was given pills to take to supress that voice in her heads making her go crazy, but now we are here and we don't have any insurance yet is it possible that she gets insurance if she supports her illness?""
Can I get auto insurance through another company if I owe on another insurance company money?
I lapsed on my old insurance policy and do not have the money to pay it off. My registration expires tomorrow and I need insurance in my state to register my vehicle. Will another company insure my vehicle if I still owe money to another insurance company?
Will my insurance rate go up even though I paid off my parking ticket before court?
I'm 20 years old and I live in Houston,TX and I got pulled over in a town outside Houston called Pearland. I went thirteen miles over 30 and got ticketed by the police officer of the town. Now here in Texas, before you go to the DMV to get a license you have to take a 6 hour driving class which was made into a law dating back to 2010. This is my first speeding ticket I got since I first got my driver's license almost a year ago. If I go to the courthouse and admit that it was my fault for speeding and pay the fine before my court date arrives, will my insurance rate still go up? (Please don't leave negative feedbacks. I'm just trying to get some honest answers)""
How much would insurance be on a 2005 Subaru Wrx Sti?
Before you answer please read this: I am 16, this will be my first car, my father will be buying it for me but i would call the insurance company but they are closed at this time of night so i will just ask on here. Please do not lecture about how i don't need this car and all i understand the concern but since you aren't the ones paying the bills please don't lecture. Thank you for any and all help available.""
What is the cheapest car insurance company to go with at 16. could someone give me a estimate?
my car is a 2000 Pontiac grand prix. all i need is state minimum.i live in ohio
""Hit another car, they have no insurance?""
I was turning left from a stop sign and hit into another car (checked both ways, had some parked cars blocking view but I inched forward to check before driving.) My car only has minor scrapes, his car has a broken headlight and some bumper damage. However, he told me at the time he has no insurance and wanted me to just give him cash on the street. I told him no, I would not pay anything unless we called the police which he did not want to do since he has no insurance. I am fully insured. We ended up both just leaving and I have his license plate number, name, and phone number. He has my license plate number only. Without insurance, can he try to get any money from me? Just wondering if anything should be expected of this situation...""
Help me find health insurance quick!! please!?
I dunno if I'm overreacting, but I've been researching esophigal cancer ( I was sick a lot a couple years ago, but I never thought it was long enough period of time, or frequent enough to cause any damage) and I would like to be checked out. It actually seems the more I read, the more i seem to feel like I'm having symptoms right now... I have been known to be a worrier... Could I worry myself to the point of feeling like my throat is burning? or that I'm burping a lot? (i'm probably swallowing lots of air right now ] and coughing (i've been known to gag and cough when I worry myself) I would like to go to the doctor asap, could someone please help me find an affordable health insurance plan. My zip is 16066, if that matters.. Thank you""
Is there a car insurance company which specialises in please answer?
stupid question at this moment in time i think with car insurance company's not insuring young drivers but is there a company which specialises in insuring young drivers on nice cars or just specialises in insuring nice cars thanks ??
Car inspection for insurance?
So I hit my friends car and he told me to tell the insurance company someone hit me in a parking lot. If I do that and the insurance company inspects it, will they be able to tell that I hit someone instead of someone hitting me?""
Is my insurance company responsible !?
I recently submitted a claim to my insurance company an it was rejected . At some point during some severe weather something struck our roof causing water to enter . The rain water caused the sheetrock ceiling to crack and start to collapse . We were told by our insurance provider that this was caused by a manufacturer defect . The manufacturer checked the damage and disagrees . I also disagree being that we have lived in the home for four years and this the first appearance of water . what should I do next ? I have already submitted statements from the manufacturer . The insurance company has also declined to renew our policy because of the damage .
How much is Delta Airlines health insurance premium?
For an Economics family project, I have to be a flight attendant, make a monthly budget and help take care of my family. Probably the only thing missing from my project is health insurance. If I get it through my job , how much does the premium cost or is it covered?""
I need health insurance?
My boyfriend and I will be moving to NYC to start college next August. We will have very little money, and will have no form of health insurance. Here in California, we both have free insurance provided by the state, but we are barely eighteen, still in high school, and therefore still living with out parents. I suppose what my real question here is can we still get free state issued insurance if we have part time jobs and no children? Or do you have to have dependents to receive that? We both have serious stomach conditions, and are sick very often. We cannot be without health insurance. But we also could not afford to pay for it. Any help?""
Am I covered with name not on car insurance?
I am very worried. I feel bad enough about getting into an accident, but now I find out that I can be in very big financial trouble. I am 17, I recieved my license 8 days ago, and I ...show more""
Good car insurance for a teen?
in the summer im going to get my first job (yay!) and my parents are in a bit of a financial rut so with my paycheck im gonna pay my insurance so i was wondering...which insurance would be the cheapest or have the most deductibles im going to be 18 in october, never got a ticket, never got in a wreck and i have had my license for two years any helpful answers are appreciated :) also if you need any more info let me know!:) ..oh and btw its a 1999 hyandai elantra that i drive""
How to get a comparative car insurance quote.?
Had an accident November 2010. I fill in car insurance quotes but they want to know how much the accident cost! My current insurance company only told me it was my fault and slashed my no claims bonus from 65 to 40% and quoted me with a 200% increase on last year. Internet quote sites want information I don't know.
How much approx. to insure 1100cc for 7 days?
Any help on this question will be appreciated. I'm only looking for an approximation as I've no idea what the general insurance rates are for short term car insurance. Insurance would only need be 3rd part fire and theft. Would it cost me 10, 50 a 100 pounds, I've no idea. Again any help appreciated. Thanks.""
What does Enterprise car rental insurance cover?
We rented a car for a week and we got the basic coverage for our rental car. Yesterday we stopped at a crosswalk when we saw two people and were then hit full speed by a pickup truck. It totaled the rental car and thankfully were are ok. As we were sitting there it was told to us that a witness said there was no one at the crosswalk when it happened and the witness filled out a report. I know what I saw and it hurts that people would be so dishonest. By the end of it the officer said no citation would be issued. I think the police are going to say it was my fault for stopping to quickly. I think that's ridiculous but anyway. If I have the basic car rental insurance and they say its my fault, will the rental insurance cover all that? Thanks for any responses. I am still shaken up!""
Ex husband to pay off car. Who pays insurance?
Since my ex is paying my car off in the divorce shouldn't he be responsible for the full coverage insurance? I cant afford full coverage. If I only get liability should he cover the rest to obtain full coverage? Help!
Can't we make a compromise between all out socialized healthcare and private health insurance?
Can't we do something like give insurance companies tax breaks for covering x amount of people who earn low wages at a sharply reduced price? Or have a smaller government program only for those who cannot afford insurance?
Seabeck Washington Cheap car insurance quotes zip 98380
Seabeck Washington Cheap car insurance quotes zip 98380
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