#someone please laugh
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Things I’ve heard and said as a bartender in a sketchy dive bar. I’ve just collected them all here and made them about CoD men at my bar. Y/N is the bartender unless stated otherwise. Brought to you from my shower turned sauna as I try to decongest my sinuses. Pollen season is 100% trying to kill me this year. Please laugh at my dumb idea.
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* referring to seeing Graves again*
Price: You make me want to suck start a shotgun.
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Soap: Check me out. *pulls out wallet*
Y/N: Stand up and turn around real quick, please.
Soap: *confused but stands and spins in a circle slowly*
Y/N: *whistles* You look spectacular!
Soap: 🤭 I mean I’d like to pay my tab, but that made my day.
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*141 drunk and harmlessly flirting*
Gaz: Did you get all dolled up me?
Soap: I bet she knew I was coming, you know blue is my favorite color.
Price: She didn’t get dressed up for you muppets! But we do appreciate how you look tonight!
Ghost: *Corralling the two drunkest* You do look very nice, let us know if you want us to get them to stop.
Y/N: Appreciation is best shown as money in the tip jar. *obviously joking but also not really because it was a slow night*
*Ghost and Price laugh, dropping a couple dollars in*
*Gaz and Soap, dead serious begin dumping the contents of their wallets*
Y/N: Guys! It’s a joke! I don’t need your credit cards or this ancient condom… seriously though please throw that away you might get someone pregnant trying to use that. *that packaging showed obvious signs of ware from how long it had sat in his wallet*
Soap: I could get you pregnant with that 😏
Price: Annnnd we’re done! Sorry about Romeo 😬
Ghost: *Grabs Soap’s wallet and drops a $20 in the tip jar* He’s very sorry.
#cod mw2#modern warfare#cod#cod incorrect quotes#inncorrect quotes#john soap mactavish#simon ghost riley#cod x reader#captain price#john price#kyle gaz garrick#cod x you#bartender#call of duty x reader#call of duty#modern warefare 2 x reader#someone please laugh
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Louis: *Trying to murder Daniel*
21 Year Old Daniel, High as a Kite:
#someone please laugh#interview with the vampire#iwtv#daniel molloy#armand#amc iwtv#louis de pointe du lac#louisdaniel#iwtv meme#anne rice#eric bogosian#jacob anderson#iwtv crack
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idk it feels like the same picture to me
#eddie munson#joseph quinn#stranger things#stranger things vol 1#stranger things 4#eddie munson stranger things#the hellfire club#joe quinn#netflix#eddie deserves better#stranger things vol 2#eddie in s5#eddie as kas#corroded coffin#someone please laugh#my brain is fried#shaun the sheep#the fact that I found several more
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Cunt Dracula
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Arcadia Bay more like Arcadia Gay
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Lance: There's something sticking out from my chest.
Asmo: Your boob?
Lance: No, like it's either a knot or a bone sticking out.
Asmo: Oh, do you want me to feel?
Lance: Sure.
Barbatos, walks in to Asmo holding Lance's chest: ... What's going on?
#trying to tell if i dislocated something or if it is a knot#suggestive#obey me#Asmodeus#Barbatos#obey me Barbatos#obey me Asmodeus#mc!Lance#lance#someone please laugh#i thought it was funny
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Y'ALL I CAN'T BELIEVE SHE PLAYED MARY'S SONG TONIGHT OF ALL NIGHTS
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Luz: I’m gonna show my awesome girlfriend Amity to EVERYONE in Bonesborough wearing a salmon suit!
Amity: You’re gonna be wearing a salmon suit?
Luz: That’s a good one, batata!
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Making Incorrect H:SR Quotes Until I Run Out of (hopefully) Original Ideas - Pt. 1 - Ratiorine Messages Edition
[Pt. 2] [Pt. 3]
#aventurine#dr ratio#ratiorine#aventio#honkai star rail#hsr#hsr incorrect quotes#hsr memes#hsr meme#honkai star rail memes#honkai star rail meme#hsr aventurine#hsr ratio#dr. ratio#veritas ratio#this blog is about to be about 80% Star Rail for an indefinite period of time. and i’m not sorry abt it y’all have been warned#can't get these guys outta my head so here's my first attempt at contributing to this fandom please laugh#no but fr tho i can't tell if any of these are Actually funny slash accurate or if they just are to me#still. the idea's been nagging me for a couple days so i'm getting it outta my system#i also hope none of these have already been made. i always fear that i'm gonna unknowingly copy someone aaa#also also i've no clue if my attempt at adding alt text was actually helpful or done right so if it isn't feel free to correct me
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For the ranchers a bit more shleep i just really like charakters comfy and nice:Dc /nf
Eepies. Jimmy woke up to really sore wings but its okay because Tango
#(I cannot imagine avians sleeping on their backs lest they have special mattresses or something but hnng. For the domestic fluff...)#team rancher#rancher duo#solidaritek#I imagine Tango is not nearly as much of a ray of sunshine in the mornings as Jimmy is. Jimmy finds it endearing though 100%#I also imagine Tango moves the hell around in his sleep and tangles them both up with his tail#He's gonna try to apologize a thousand times for “making you sleep on your back” but Jimmy won't let him#ALSO what does /nf mean lol. Every other day I see another new tone indicator that I cant figure out the meaning of#please feel free to use brackets to circumvent my stupidity. I do not know the hip things... I am but a boomer noobie#trafficshipping#trafficblr#I have so many other rancher asks in my inbox that could fall under this#Rancher cuddles and smol Tango and this and that hhrr but I will... I will get to them... in time....#never enough rancher content#also laying on someone when they laugh so their chest bounces up and down etc. Oh it makes me weak. Not that I know what its like lol#but it feels cute...#tubby art
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Bald's Gays 3 memes
#Baldur's gate 3#Bg3#My art#Someone PLEASE notice how I made Ulder's beautiful bald head so shiny... Disco bald.......#Shadowzel#Bg3 memes#Wyllstarion#Karlach#Bg3 karlach#Wyll Ravengard#Lae'zel#Shadowheart#Astarion#enver gortash#orin the red#Bg3 Orin#ulder ravengard#Karlach Cliffgate#Mizora#Bg3 Mizora#bloodpact#Pls I made myself laugh so hard w these
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a wild otter-wan has appeared!
do you:
- fight!
- give him a little pat!
#please accept this shitpost as art#i made myself laugh with this#hes just a little guy#ive been watching way too many nature docs recently#i was originally gonna draw human obiwan eating a raw sea urchin as well but i totally forgot when i was drawing#tbh he gives me the vibe of someone who doesnt need to be able to turn into an otter to eat a sea urchin raw#he'd just do it for the free food#i just realised ive been saying raw like urchin isnt usually eaten raw but what i mean is eating it right out of the shell#with no fork of anything for sticking his face in there#idk why im still talking about this haha#star wars#obi wan kenobi#star wars art#fanart#star wars fanart#art#otterwan kenobi#sea otter#my art <3#my art
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Kang + being grossly smitten
#dangerous romance#dangerous romance the series#bl series#thai bl#perth tanapon#chimon wachirawit#perthchimon#asianlgbtqdramas#asian lgbtq dramas#kangsailom#25shadesedit#mjtag#esmetracks#usermor#usersbru#userjap#someone please ive been laughing at him
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Tom Sturridge on Morpheus, BFI Q&A
#HE GETS IT#i literally heard him say this and immediately downloaded a gifmaker to make this#the sandman netflix#tom sturridge#someone please tell me if the gifs don't load right i'll reupload them again#morpheus#dream of the endless#also highly recommend you check out the video#he's an expressive man#also for gwendoline's laugh when he finished sheepishly#apologies that this isn't great quality i literally made this in like a half hour#my posts#made my me#link to the source is at the bottom
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This is fucking stupid but aren’t all my posts?
Have some ghoul valentines
#I laughed making these#please tell me someone else also got some amusement#the band ghost#ghost#nameless ghouls#ghost bc#shitghosting
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MY GOTH BRETHRENNNNNN
#gothic aesthetic#goths#goths at the fucking beach#holy shit this made me laugh so hard#can someone please draw them for me#lul#lulz#lol#funny#tiktoks#best tiktoks#tiktok#video
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